10

Buffy left her apartment with a spring in her step as the sun warmed her face. Sure she'd had a bit of a run in with Dawn last night but that didn't matter. They were always arguing about something or other, they'd see each other in a couple of days and things would be fine.

Covering the short distance from her apartment to work Buffy thought about what she'd said to Dawn about stopping thinking about Spike. It sounded cruel, after all when was the appropriate time to stop thinking about the person who'd died to save your life? It wasn't like she was going to completely stop thinking about him, but she had to let him go. He wouldn't want her doing this to herself, sure he'd be amused that he really had gotten under her skin so much, but for all his bravado he was never selfish when it came to her.

So today was a new day, a day of possibilities. There was a cute guy who came into the bar once or twice a week, he always made an effort to talk to her and she got the impression that if she asked him out he'd probably be up for it. A little dating fun was just what the doctor ordered, maybe it could be a little more than dating fun.

She pushed the door of the bar open and greeted her boss, Jon.

"Hi how was your day off?" Jon asked as Buffy hung her purse on the hook behind the bar.

"Good yeah, everything ok here, the world didn't end without me?" She joked.

"Nope all good, are you ok you look at little flush?"

"I'm fine." She responded "just pretty warm out."

"Good, anyway I think I've finally found a replacement for Jules. I've got a guy coming round this morning for a trail shift, if he gets on ok the staffing problem will be sorted." Jon explained.

"Cool fingers crossed it works out, it'd be good to have another pair of hands round here."

Buffy got to work cleaning down the laminated menus and wrapping cutlery in napkins. She loved this time of day when she could just get on and do stuff before the place got busy. The time flew and before she knew it she was making coffee for the regular brunch crowd. She was stood with her back to the counter making a latte when she heard a familiar voice, "Hi I'm looking for Jon." The voice said.

A million thoughts whizzed through her mind, that voice I was so distinct but after living in England for a long time now she heard accents like that from time to time. But still it had that edge to it, that edge that made her skin tingle. She was frozen to the spot not daring to turn round, too scared by what she might find if she did.

"Hello anyone home luv." The voice said.

Buffy forced her self to turn, fake smile already in place so she didn't seem to crazy. The moment she turned her eyes locked on to the deep blue eyes that were so familiar. She felt like something was sat on her chest as she tried to breath. All she could do was force out one word, "Spike?"

Spike cocked his head to one side surprised that she knew his name before recognising the American accent and making the connection, "Oh let me guess Dawn's sister right? Buffy?"

She knitted her brow and scrunched her nose, how could he just be so casual walking in here in board day light acting like he didn't know her. Whoa hold up walking in here in board daylight, what was up with that. Her stomach turned and she suddenly felt like she was going to throw up violently.

"Uh-huh." She said with a nod. "Jon that guys here." She shouted.

She needed to get out of there, needed some fresh air. The feeling of sickness in the pit of her stomach didn't ease.

As Jon came through from the back Buffy grabbed her purse from the hook. "Jon I've gotta go, I'm sorry I feel really sick." She said as she made her way from behind the counter keeping as much distance between her and Spike as possible.

"Are you ok? Why don't you just take 5." Jon replied looking confused. It wasn't like Buffy to just run out, she was normally reliable and she had looked at little odd when she arrived this morning.

"No I've got to go, now, I'm gonna be sick" she said it loud enough for the customers to hear knowing that Jon would let her go if people were put off their food.

"Ok well call me later."

"Yeah." She shouted as she dashed out of the door. She still wasn't breathing properly but she broke into a run. She had to get home, but more importantly she had to get out of here, away from well whoever the hell that was.

It was only a matter of minutes before she was fumbling with her key in the lock of her apartment. The feeling of sickness had passed but she was shaking. She went straight into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, she poured herself a large shot of whiskey and sunk it back quickly. As she set the glass back down she remembered Dawn's call from the night before, remembered that Spike had asked if she was Dawn's sister.

Dawn.

She picked up her phone and frantically called Dawn. It rang and rang, no answer, she tried again, still no answer. She poured another drink ignoring the fact that it was only a little before midday. She called again no answer. Argh where the hell was she.

About 10 minutes had passed before her phone rang.

"Jeeze Buffy where's the fire, I've got like 5 missed calls from you." Dawn sounded breezy.

"Where the hell have you been?" Buffy demanded.

"Work, I told you yesterday I'm just on my lunch break."

"You know that thing you wanted to talk to me me about. It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with Spike just walking right into my place of work, seemly having no idea who I am and suddenly being cured of his sun allergy would it?" Buffy was shouting voice thick with emotion.

"Shit"

"I'd say shit alright, you knew about this didn't you, what's going on why didn't you tell me?"

"I did, I tried, last night remember but you were too busy to see me." Dawn was pissed, this wasn't her fault, she'd wanted to speak to Buffy but she'd cut her off and hung up on her. "Listen I'll bail, pretend I'm sick or something and I'll come round. Give me half an hour k?" Dawn continued.

"K" it sounded like she was crying.

"Oh and Buffy lay off the whiskey."

"Too late." She hear her sister say before hanging up.

Dawn knocked on the door to Buffy's apartment. It hadn't taken much to get out of work, she just said that she felt sick and they let her go based on the fact that she was normally so reliable. It was easy to be reliable in a world without Vampires and the constant threat of the world ending. This was just her case in point, one little supernatural thing occurred and here she was bunking off work.

Buffy opened the door, she looked awful, her eyes a little red and her skin pale. She didn't looked trashed though so that was something.

"Dawn I don't understand, how did this happen? And what exactly has happened?" Buffy said as she let Dawn through into the lounge.

"I don't know exactly what's happened but I spoke to Willow yesterday and I think I've got an idea."

"You spoke to Willow yesterday, how long have you known about this?"

Shit none of this was going to plan, she knew that Buffy would be pissed if she thought that everyone knew but her.

"I'm sorry ok I just wanted to figure out what the hell was going on before I spoke to you. I only saw him on Monday, it kinda threw me too you know." Dawn sounded upset, for all her thoughts about Buffy she hadn't really had much chance to think about how she felt about this.

Buffy's eyes mellowed slightly, there was no point in getting angry with Dawn, and she had tried to tell her but as per usual Buffy was too caught up in her own thing to want to listen.

"So what do you know?" Buffy asked, 'Start at the beginning."

"So long story short I was in Red's on Monday, happliy munching my Danish when I saw him. I shouted his name but it was obvious he had no idea who I was, so I just made out that I'd briefly met him at some party. We got chatting and I convinced him to meet me for a drink that evening."

"You spent a whole evening with him?" Buffy said slightly accusingly.

"Yeah but I was trying to dig for info because he's clearly not a vampire now and what with not knowing who I was I thought it would be the best way. I didn't want to tell you until I knew exactly what I was telling you about. Please don't be mad Buffy, please."

"Ok, carry on."

"Anyway we were out for a few hours just chatting and I was still none the wiser. I only found out that as far as he's concerned he's a regular guy who was born in London, 27, who doesn't seem that keen on the idea of a steady job. So I called Willow yesterday to see if she had any ideas, she did a soul locator spell and confirmed that he's definitely, 100% Spike, but she had no idea why or how he'd come back. Then we started talking about you and the anniversary and the whiskey and the wishes and we kinda think that you wished him back."

"Me? On know don't try and put this one me, I didn't do this. You can't just make a wish and it comes true, see I wish I had a massive diamond ring." Buffy held up her hand "See no massive diamond ring for me."

"I know, I know it seems strange and it's possible that it might be something else but as it stands that's the only theory we have."

Buffy sunk down on to the couch and rested her head in her hands. She stayed silent an Dawn moved to sit down next to her, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"This doesn't make any sense, how can he just be back? And if he's not a vampire, what is he?" Buffy asked.

"I'm pretty sure he's human, just a regular Joe like us, or well me anyway, or maybe not like me even, but you know what I mean. He's got a soul and he's not a vampire so I don't see what else he can be." Dawn responded.

"And he really doesn't know anything about us?"

"Not as far as I can tell, he was super confused when I called his name. He's got a whole set of memories that go back for the last 27 years and none of them involve even ever having been to California, never mind the rest of it."

"What am I going to do?" Buffy was crying a little now.

"Do, you don't have to do anything."

"What you expect me to just go to work and ignore the fact that he's there, that I know him?"

"Well that's the thing you don't really know him do you, not this Spike anyway." Dawn said softly.

"You spent hours with him, what's he like, is he like Spike?" Buffy questioned, her intrigue getting he better of her.

"Kinda, in a lot of way yes, but he's more mellow not so much with the big bad thing. He still likes to talk a lot but he's not as hyper, doesn't need to be go go go all the time." Dawn explained.

"Spike could be like that sometimes, there were times when he was just calm." Buffy's tears were flowing more now, thinking about things that she's vowed only this morning not to think about gain.

"Really?" Dawn sounded shocked and she noticed Buffy colour a little.

"Yeah back when were, you know doing what ever it was that we were doing, if I ever stayed a while he's just lie there quite and peaceful, not wanting to do anything but stroke my hair."

Dawn nodded, they didn't talk to much about the nitty gritty of the Buffy and Spike's relationship, it was private and Buffy had always wanted to keep it that way.

"You're going to have to see him you know because I'm gathering he got a job at the bar. You can't just walk out on that job." Dawn's voice laced with a factual tone.

"I know, I guess if he doesn't remember me and he's not exactly the same person then it's ok right? I can just deal. You said he's not that keen on having a regular job so I guess this might not be for too long anyway." Buffy felt calmer now, she could deal with this.

"So you don't want him back in your life?" Dawn sounded shocked, she would have thought that Buffy would want to pick things up where they left off. She hadn't really considered that 10 years is a long time and things change, people change, not to mention that this Spike was not the same person at all.

"He's not the same person Dawn, he might have some of his traits but he's just a body double, he's not our Spike." She eyed her sister with suspicion, "I think you should stay away from him Dawn, I mean it."

"I kinda already agreed to see him on Friday." Buffy looked infuriated at the revelation "And I gave him my cell."

"God Dawn, this'll end in tears you know. Fine do you what you want, I'm going to work with him and that's it, do not get any ideas about us all hanging out ok cuz it's not going to happen."

Buffy watched Dawn roll her eyes. It wouldn't matter what she said to her Dawn would do whatever she wanted anyway. Buffy felt tired and she was sure that it was going to take all her energy to be able to focus at work on the shifts when her was there. She could only hope that the trail had gone terribly wrong and Jon wouldn't take him on. Or she could try and get him fired, maybe start stealing money from the till and because it had never happened before Jon would assume that it must be Spike. Not that she would actually do that, but if it all got too much she could.

"Look I'm going to head off ok, call me if you need anything." Dawn said as she headed for the door.

"Thanks I will." Buffy said without looking up, Dawn knew that she was drifting into her own thoughts and that mean there was really no point sticking around. She had considered suggesting a memory spell to Buffy but now wasn't the right time, the events of the morning were enough for her to deal with at the moment. She's talk to her about it a day or so, she was sure that Buffy asked Willow would at least try to do a spell to return Spike's memory. If Buffy showed even the slightest desire to have Spike back in her life surely returning his memory would be all that was needed. Once he knew who he was and that Buffy was there he'd do anything to be with her.