CHAPTER 8 - Andre is leaving

- I wish you weren't leaving, dear - Grandma Marie said sadly when they finished their dinner and sat down in the kitchen with glasses of tea. She felt much stronger now and wanted to return to her beloved kingdom even for a moment - It was really nice having you here with me. But I know you have a lot of obligations and I can't keep you.

- I got a letter from uncle Etienne, calling me back immediately. He often does it when I'm out for a long time - Andre laughed - But it could also mean some trouble, since he didn't clearly write about it. So, I prefer to come back as soon as possible.

- I understand, my dear Andre - Marie nodded, smiling at him - You have always been a very dutiful child and it has not changed. Greet your uncle and ask on my behalf to let you out from under his wings more often - she laughed - Will you come again? - she asked hopefully.

- Of course, Grandma - Andre promised, with confident voice - You can come to me too, like you used to visit me in the past. I spoke to mademoiselle de Jarjayes and she expressed a desire to come to Etretat. Maybe you could come with her?

- Did you talk to mademoiselle Oscar about this? - Grandma asked, clearly surprised.

- Yes, I did - he confirmed - She invited me to have dinner with her on the first day. Among other things, we talked a bit about the house in Etretat. Do you know that she has never been there?

Marie didn't seem to hear his last question.

- Did Oscar have dinner with you? - she was so genuinely surprised that she forgot to call her „mademoiselle", what she had rarely done since the girl grew up.

- I was also surprised at first - Andre replied, laughing - But it looked like she just wanted to be polite. It was a nice evening.

- And what do you think about her? - asked his grandmother, frowning - About mademoiselle, I mean.

- She is absolutely gorgeous! - Andre blurted out without thinking.

- Andre! - his grandmother scolded him - She is your master's daughter, show her some respect!

- Sorry, Grandma, you're right. I should say that she has good manners and a nice face - he closed one eye, teasing her - But you know I'm always honest. If I think she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, then I say so.

- So the General was right after all.. - Marie said, more to herself.

- What are you talking about, Grandma? - he asked interested.

- Ehh, that's an old story - the woman waved, but saw that he was still staring at her undaunted, so she added - When your parents died, I wanted to take you here, to Jarjayes Manor. However, the master ultimately disagreed. He explained that you were too similar in age to Oscar. She's only a year younger than you - she explained - The General had serious objections that it could one day cause some.. hmm.. problems - she finished in an embarrassed voice.

- Problems? - he asked, pretending he didn't understand.

- Andre! - she scolded him a second time - Don't make me explain it to you. You were children then, but this state does not last forever. One day you would become a man and she would be a woman. Like it is now. The General was afraid that bringing you up together could create dangerous situations in the future - she looked at him bemused - That someday, sooner or later, a bond beetwen you would become stronger. Which wouldn't be right.

- I see - said the man - Although the idea seems completely absurd to me. She is a noble, and who could I be here? A servant, a groom, at a best possibility I could be promoted to her orderly. It's complete nonsense - he pouted.

- Andre, don't pretend you don't understand! - the grandmother got angry - The relationship I am talking about does not care about rank or birth issues! It just happens between a woman and a man!

- But are you talking more about love? Or about its psyhical aspect? - Andre asked with mock innocence, knowing how hard it was for his grandmother to talk to him about it.

- Oh, you tricky grandson! - grandma smacked him on the head - You knew what I was talking about from the very beginning, but you let me go into it! I'm talking about the both, and you know it very well. Neither of these things is desirable if the class difference exists!

- You didn't have to worry about me, Grandma - said her grandson seriously.

- How can you say that? - the woman was indignant – Wasn't it you who just say that mademoiselle is absolutely gorgeous? - she added snorting.

- I said so - nodded Andre - Which doesn't change anything - he smiled and took her hand – From my side, she is not in any danger. I know my place. And I don't associate with noblewomen.

Marie was about to punch him again for those bold words, but she didn't make it cause the same moment Rosalie came into the kitchen with a tray. She put it down by the sink and turned to leave.

- See you later - Andre told her softly as she passed by, and she just looked at him with a smile, blushing. She nodded, then left quickly.

Grandmother watched the whole scene in silence. Her heart began to calm down at the complicity of the two.

"Maybe there was a chance that this roisterer would finally settle down.." - she thought hopefully.

...

Oscar drank six, instead of usual two, glasses of wine. She was sitting in front of the fireplace, trying to understand the feelings in her heart, but it wasn't easy at all. The increasing amount of alcohol she consumed also did not help. It only dulled mental clarity a little, but the confusion remained.

As long as she was sober, she only scolded herself for thoughts unworthy of a soldier, a commander. After all, there had never been anything other than work. Beloved, desired, complete fulfillment. With Versailles in mind she woke up, and with the same thought she fell asleep. The work was always the center of her universe. Now she suddenly wondered if something else was missing.

Was it femininity that just started knocking on the door of her heart? „Oh, no, no" - she thought over the third glass. She promised herself it would never happen, and she was going to keep that promise. With the fourth glass, she thought maybe she could make an exception sometime or only for a while. Finally, Fersen asked her to marry him, maybe she should take it.. She laughed, but then grew serious. She drank another glass of wine. She didn't want Fersen. Not him. If she ever had to surrender her femininity, it would be with only one man in the world.

As she drank her sixth glass, she thought of the emerald-colour eyes that looked at her with pure interest. About lips as if made for kisses. About the strong arms that, she was sure, would lift her without any effort. And the hair with the most beautiful shade in which she would like to sink her hands so much. She reached the bed and laid down on the sheets, breathing heavily. Then she fell into an alcoholic dreamless sleep.

...

In the morning Oscar woke up with a terrible headache. Never again, she thought, not for the first time in her life, but without conviction. She knew that she would not be able to stick to this decision anyway. She stood up slowly, so as not to irritate the rebellious stomach, splashed her face with icy water and went to the window. The sun teased her eyes, heightening the feeling as if someone were squeezing her head in a vice. She saw people swarming in the courtyard below, which was quite unusual for this time of day. Suddenly she remembered something and quickly stepped back behind the curtain. Just like she thought. Marie's grandson was just leaving, bidding farewell by her grandmother and the group of servants of the Jaryajes Manor. Marie hugged her grandson very tightly, then hid her face in a white handkerchief. Then Rosalie walked over to him, curtsing politely. Oscar watched Andre taking Rosalie's hand and helding it for a long moment when saying something to her, then raising her hand to his lips. Unknowingly Oscar tightened her own hand on the fabric of the curtain. She saw the man waving to the other women and jumping onto his horse's saddle. He was about to turn and drive away when he shot a quick, almost imperceptible glance at the window that Oscar was hiding behind. She immediately stepped back towards the wall with her heart pounding. When she looked again, he was already gone.