Love love love to Hadley and Sobhanya for their help!
Omg also—Maia Alcyone blew me away with a trailer she created for The Procedure. It really captures the story so well. I linked the YouTube video on my FFn profile in case you wanted to take a peek! *bows to Maia*
THANKS for reading! See you next week for one of my favorite chapters yettttt.
Chapter Nine
As the night goes on, Edward and I keep our eyes on each other.
We don't talk again. Not really. But I come and go, ordering drinks from him, sharing secret smiles and purposeful glances.
"Did you see who's here?" Rose asks at one point.
"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised," I reply, staring at Edward across the tent.
"Why? She always shows up to stuff like this and flirts with every eligible and ineligible bachelor here. It's sad."
I follow Rose's gaze and realize she's talking about Tanya. I recover quickly, nodding along.
"Right. Yeah. It's sad."
We both watch as Tanya makes her way over to James, whispering in his ear. They laugh. He whispers something back. Then his eyes cut to me before he steps away from her.
Rose scoffs. "Don't worry. He only has eyes for you."
"I'm not worried," I tell her honestly.
"Besides, didn't they date for a hot minute like, two years ago?"
"I think so."
"Then there's definitely nothing to worry about," Rose laughs. "Thanks to the Procedure, history never repeats itself."
"Yeah, I know," I reply evenly, glancing once more at Edward.
The party ends promptly at nine to ensure people can make it home before curfew, but I linger under the tent as long as I can before it becomes glaringly obvious I'm hoping to talk to Edward before he leaves. I don't even really have anything to say to him, I just… want to say goodbye. But he's busy packing up, and some of the other staff are lingering around him, so I stay put.
"Bella? What on earth are you still doing out here?" My mother's voice steals my attention. She's watching in utter horror as I stack plates to seem as though I'm being useful.
"I was just… cleaning up a little."
She laughs but it's not humorous. It's condescending. "That's what the hired help is for."
"Right." I set the plates down.
Renee watches me a little too closely. "I swear, you are behaving so strangely lately. Between this and—"
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Swan," Carmen says, rushing over. "I asked for Bella's help."
I glance over at Edward who's no longer staring this way. I get the feeling Carmen is covering for me, but I don't know why.
From the set of her mouth, Renee isn't thrilled to hear this from Carmen, but she eases up. "Go get ready for bed," she tells me. "Carmen, put fresh sheets on for the girls." No one moves. "Now. Please."
I wasn't planning on staying the night at my parents' house. But since I have to be back in the morning for Emmett's birthday breakfast, when he and Kate will share their big announcement with the family, Rose and I decided to crash in my old room.
Or rather, my mother decided for us.
I start to tell Renee it's okay, that Rose and I can do the sheets ourselves, but Carmen nods.
"Will do, ma'am."
Carmen avoids my eyes as she walks away. So does Renee. I swallow back the feeling that I'm a kid again, and I've unknowingly disappointed my mother somehow.
With one last glance toward Edward, who's seemingly preoccupied with packing up, I head inside.
I find Rose already in my old room, digging through drawers for something to sleep in.
She always loved my room, and our house in general. It was magical, she'd say. Larger than the one she grew up in and more luxurious, with high ceilings, large hallways, and a few secret passages that were ideal for games of hide-and-seek. My favorite passage was the one Rose and Emmett always forgot about—the one that started in the library, went down to the basement, and eventually led to the kitchen. It assured me a win in every game we'd play.
We get ready for bed in silence. Just before we turn off the lamp, there's a knock on the door, and Carmen peeks her head in.
"Just making sure you two are staying out of trouble." She smiles warmly.
"Funny," I say. "See you in the morning."
"Sleep well."
"Carmen?" She pauses for a brief moment. "Thank you."
I'm not even certain what I'm thanking her for, but it feels necessary.
"Always," she tells me with a wink before shutting the door with a soft click.
Flipping off the lamp, I pull the duvet up to my chin, and I let my mind go there.
To Edward.
I replay his words about desire and chemistry over and over again.
I can admit there's something there. Some kind of pull, a certain draw toward him. I'd be stupid to deny it. Even more stupid to act on it. I shouldn't risk everything just because I find him attractive.
Then again, it's not like he's asking me to risk anything. Like he said that day on the bus when I told him I wasn't going to go out with him—he didn't ask me. He hasn't asked anything of me. Yet, somehow it feels like he has.
I think of our respective placement dates. His is less than two months away. And mine, just under four. It can take up to a year to be placed after you join the Partner Pool, but if we're both lucky, it'll happen right away for us.
Technically, I guess I could be one of the women being considered for him. I'm not exactly sure how the process works, but it's not out of the realm of possibility.
Just for a moment, I let myself imagine being placed with him. Then I force away the thought so fast, it feels like it was never really there.
"Remember the stories Carmen used to tell us when I'd sleep over?" Rose asks quietly, the dark closing in on us.
"Yeah."
The drifters.
How they gave up everything and risked their lives to live uncivilized.
How they survived off the grid and sacrificed everyday necessities like running water and electricity to be free.
How they made lives for themselves out in the wilderness, beyond the electrified border.
Sometimes I thought Carmen told us these stories as a warning.
But, I wonder if there was something more there.
"Do you think it's true?" Rose asks, voice barely above a whisper.
"I don't know," I say honestly. "I don't know how anyone could live that way. Or why they'd want to."
"I believe it," Rose admits, and my heart accelerates. I turn onto my side to face her, but she's lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. "I think there are people out there, in the wild. And I think I know why they risk everything."
"Why?" I ask, goosebumps covering my skin.
"Because they had no other choice."
XXX
"I love you."
Lips on my neck.
Mouth on mine.
Laughter.
So much laughter that it bubbles out of me.
"I can't believe you're mine." There's awe in his voice, like he really can't believe it. "Forever," he adds.
"Forever," I say, and I feel the truth in my bones.
XXX
Weak morning light fights its way through the curtains. There's a chill to the room, and I snuggle deeper under the duvet, wishing I could go back to sleep.
I dreamed last night.
I can't remember exactly what was happening, but I remember the feeling. The emotions. There was a sense of happiness and so much love. Now my chest aches with a haunting, desperate void and a deep yearning for something I've never had.
My mind goes to Edward.
I fell asleep thinking about him only to wake up and have him still there.
I wonder what he's doing right now. Maybe off working another random gig, like he does. Maybe hanging out with his mom, making her Sunday soup.
Maybe he's thinking about me, too.
It's a silly thing to entertain though. With a deep sigh, I push all thoughts of him out of my head.
Rose is already out of bed, and I can't be late to breakfast. I yawn, my body growing rigid as I stretch out, before I disappear into the bathroom to make myself presentable. When I'm back in the room, I find a dress laying out on the bed for me. Renee, probably. I leave it where it is and find an old pair of jeans and an overly large sweater in the bottom drawer. I quickly change into the worn clothes, and when I shove my hand into the pocket of the jeans, I find a gold band with a single deep red gemstone. I examine it closely before sliding it on my ring finger. It's a little too big to be mine. I slip it back into my pocket, anyway.
My feet are bare as I walk across the cool wood floor and over to the window. I pull back the curtain just a bit. It's white-gray today. The windows are frosted over with flakes of ice, and I shiver.
Glancing back at the dress I have no desire to wear, I head downstairs.
I hear the hushed sharpness of conversation from the kitchen, but it abruptly stops when I walk in.
"Bella!" Rose blurts when she sees me, and I give her a strange look. "You scared me."
She and Em are perched on bar stools at the end of the kitchen island, drinking coffee. It's seemingly normal. Fine, even. But their demeanor is off, and a tense vibe lingers in the air after Rose's odd reaction. I'm about to ask them what's going on when my mom walks in.
She narrows in on me first.
"What happened to the dress I laid out?"
"I was cold," I tell her simply, pulling the sleeves of my sweater over my hands.
"At least Rose lets me play dress-up," she says in return. I realize Rose is wearing one of my mother's old dresses. It might be odd, but my mother tries to do this every time we're here—design every moment to her liking. One big happy family, neatly polished, as they sit around the table for a meal. Smiling, laughing. Picture-perfect.
"I've never worn anything so lovely," Rose says politely, but I can tell her tone is off. She doesn't like it anymore than I do, but maybe she's better at the game of pleasing.
Renee smiles. "Breakfast is ready," she announces, meaning Carmen did all the cooking, and the table is set and ready for us. Renee's hair is pulled in a tight bun against the nape of her neck. Maybe it's strange, but I've only seen my mother's hair down twice before, and I briefly wonder if she sleeps with it styled that way or takes it out at night.
"Oh, good," Emmett chimes in, standing from his stool. "I'm starving."
He follows Renee into the formal dining room, and I turn to walk after them, but Rose doesn't move.
"Everything okay?" I ask her quietly as I wait for her.
The first look she gives me makes my stomach ache. For a split second, she looks worried, scared. But another moment passes, and all traces of desperation are gone.
"I'm actually not feeling well," she finally says.
I frown. She seemed okay yesterday. "Are you sick again?"
"No. I mean, well… yes. I think I drank too much last night, and I'm feeling it."
"Oh."
"In fact, I might head back home. Right now."
"And miss Emmett's big announcement?" The color drains from her face after I've said it, and she bolts into the bathroom down the hall. I hurriedly follow after her, but the door is locked, so I wait outside until I hear the toilet flush and the faucet running.
"Rose?" I knock again, and then we're face-to-face. I can see in her eyes that something's not right. "Is everything—"
"I told you, I don't feel good." She says it sharply then immediately looks apologetic. "I'm sorry, I—"
"It's okay."
She smooths her hair away from her face. "I'll meet you out there. I just… need a minute."
"Okay."
She rounds the corner to head upstairs, and I make my way into the dining room. Everyone's already seated. Renee and Charlie. Emmett and Kate. James and his parents.
"Where's Rose?" Charlie asks me.
"Freshening up," I tell him.
James stands and pulls out my chair for me, so I'm sitting between him and Kate.
"Morning," he tells me, squeezing my shoulders before he sits down again.
I nod politely. "Morning."
"This spread is just lovely," Kate tells Renee, who beams with pride. As though she had anything to do with this.
"And you look lovely, dear," Renee says pointedly at Kate before her eyes land on me. "I still can't believe you didn't wear the dress I picked out for you."
"It's winter. I'm cold," I tell her again.
"You wore a dress last night."
"That was a party. This is breakfast."
"This isn't simply breakfast," my mom balks. "You think you can waltz around here, and—"
"Renee." Charlie frowns. "Let it go."
My mom exhales sharply, glancing my way. "I just—"
Charlie merely shakes his head, and I shoot him a look of appreciation that does not go unnoticed by my mother.
I inhale deeply. "I appreciate the thought," I say to her, voice softer, "but I'd prefer not to wear a dress today."
She still looks displeased.
The room stays silent, and an awkwardness lingers between our guests.
Then Charlie's voice startles everyone but me. "Carmen? Carmen!"
She shuffles into the room. "Yes?"
"Grab Ms. Hale, please? We're ready to eat."
"Dad, it's fine. I'll go get her."
Carmen glances between us, but I don't wait for his confirmation before I leave the table, ignoring Renee and Charlie's hushed whispers. My mother is no doubt telling him he shouldn't let me get away with being disrespectful. He's always been on my side though, so I know he's brushing her off.
When I reach the first landing of the stairs, I hurry down the hallway toward my old room.
"Rose?" I call out when I reach the doorway, but she's not there.
I try the attached bathroom, but that's empty, too.
And then I realize that the dress Rose was wearing is lying on the bed, along with a note from her.
Borrowed your car. Don't be mad - see you later.
I rush over to the window and see my car is gone. I stare at her note again and try reading between the lines, but I'm unsure what to make of it. She didn't say where she was going or why, and the uncertainty of her abrupt departure makes panic rise in my chest.
But there's nothing to panic over. Rose wasn't feeling well. She borrowed my car. She's probably home.
I think I know why they risk everything. They had no other choice.
Her words from last night sound in my head.
No.
I'm overreacting.
Everything is fine.
She's going home.
She didn't feel well.
Everything is fine.
The narrative plays in my head like a mantra as I head back downstairs.
Charlie looks at me with impatience when I turn up alone.
"Rose went home," I tell him. "She wasn't feeling well."
"Oh, dear. I hope she's okay?" Renee offers.
"She'll be fine," I add for reassurance. Mostly for myself.
"Ah, well. More food for us," Mr. Witherdale jokes, earning a laugh from everyone but Emmett and me.
"What's wrong with Rose?" Em asks me, concerned.
"I think she drank a little too much last night," I say, but when I actually think about it, I never saw a glass of champagne in her hand. Not once. Emmett must know this, too, because he doesn't look convinced.
"That's unfortunate," Charlie says, but I can tell he's unconcerned. "Let's eat."
Just like that, the topic is dropped, and we all begin filling our plates. Worry and confusion settle so deep in my stomach, I can hardly eat.
It isn't until we're nearing the end of the meal that Charlie looks expectantly at Kate and Emmett.
"Well?"
The big announcement.
Kate beams. "I have someone I want you all to meet," she says, voice bubbling with enthusiasm.
It's clear I'm the only one confused when Carmen walks in with a baby.
I look at Emmett who seems to be avoiding my gaze. My parents and the Witherdales' smiles are blinding, making up for Em's lack of excitement.
Kate stands to take the baby in her arms. The child is so small, so fragile, seemingly only a couple of months old. For one stunned moment, my brain doesn't register what's happening.
"We've adopted," Kate announces, staring down at the baby in adoration. "We heard about a child in need and leaped at the opportunity to help."
"I thought you were pregnant." Maybe it's the wrong thing to say, but my mind is still buzzing over this.
"No. Not yet." Her voice is shallow and a bit deflated. "I dream of that day, but for now, we'll do what we can for this child."
Emmett moves from his chair to stand by her side in solidarity. He kisses the baby on the head and kisses Kate's cheek.
Then he introduces us to his new son, Liam.