The distance from Osaka to Kōriyama was almost 700 kilometers, and it was the longest trip they'd done since they started traveling together. If they walked non stop, no sleeping, no nothing, they'd get there in about a week but with training, eating, and sleeping, Stain guessed it would take them anywhere between four and seven weeks.

They'd be arriving there weeks after spring began, Izuku realized.

Their time on the road was probably Izuku's favorite. They saw almost no people, the sounds of the city were but a distant memory and they were able to light little fires at night to keep warm.

By now Izuku was more than capable of handling both the excursion and the training, and so they advanced without issue on that part. But the road can be slightly unpredictable from time to time, in all kinds of ways.

There'd been some nice moments, like when Izuku got Stain to help him get a baby bird back in its nest or the night they'd spent next to a huge lake without a cloud in the sky, the stars reflecting on the body of water. At those times they would either speak comfortably or simply enjoy each other's company, the mood relaxed between them.

Izuku had avoided calling his mentor anything other than Stain and the subject of their pasts was left alone, which after a few days of curiosity had been a silent blessing. Izuku found that, while it didn't hurt that much anymore, thinking about his life from before saddled him with distractions and feelings that he didn't need. The teen could understand why his teacher preferred to not think about any of those things.

They walked around mountains and through forests, and the teen was amazed by everything around him. He realized now just how little of his own country he knew, and he took in the sights greedily.

After months of growing it out, Izuku made the decision to cut his hair about halfway through their journey. Stain always used one of his own knives to shave, so the teen knew that the blades were sharp enough to pull it off. He only doubted his ability, but he was tired of his hair getting in his eyes, and so it had to go.

He used a piece of a mirror he'd found on the ground earlier and slowly but surely he hacked his hair off one strand at a time. The end result was… interesting. The front was well cut, as well as the sides, but the top of his head was an uneven mess and the back was a mystery even for himself. He had to eventually ask Stain for help, his mentor's stern look only betrayed by the chuckle he let out at Izuku's embarrassment.

They'd also found a bag with two books inside at some point, and Izuku had spent a few nights reading peacefully right before bed.

Then, there had been the odd moments of the trek.

When you walk by the side of the road and down back alleys for so long, you come across a bunch of trash. It's normal, right? Plastic bags and containers filled to the brim with who knows what just all over the damn place. But sometimes, if you look closer, you can find some really strange stuff, even with the nearest city miles away.

Tools and firearms were scattered everywhere, especially near bridges and overpasses. Most of them were rusted beyond use, but they had come across handguns, knives, hammers, wrenches, and even an old shotgun at one point. Stain told Izuku to not take any of them since they had no idea where they came from or what they'd been used for. Other common findings included bikes, dolls, and pieces of cars.

They also came across old tattered clothes, shoes, and more than one wallet with a few old cards inside. All those things gave Izuku a weird feeling, some of the cards expired for decades, and every item made him wonder just how they had ended up out here in the middle of nowhere.

One night, after coming across some old, human-looking bones under a bush, Izuku had a nightmare. In the dream, he'd been walking in the dark when a crooked white figure came at him, shrieking, and Izuku had woken up in absolute panic. They'd been sleeping in an old abandoned car they'd found about 50 feet from the road, hidden behind some trees, and when Izuku awoke with a scream and reached for his teacher, Stain almost stabbed him by pure reflex. It took a good amount of reassuring and slow breathing exercises to calm the teen after that and no amount of apologizing could get rid of Stain's annoyance for the next two days.

Now, in addition to dreaming about rooftops, he was dreaming about ghostly figures on the side of the road getting illuminated by the headlights of passing cars and revealing their twisted faces. More than once he found himself waking up much closer to Stain than when he'd gone to sleep and he felt sheepish about it since it only happened when he had particularly bad dreams. Neither of them addressed the issue at all.

And then there had been the not so nice parts of the trip.

First, Izuku got bit by some sort of spider one night whilst sleeping. He guessed he'd moved in his sleep and crushed the insect, making it bite him in the hand. For the next two days, they had to stay where they were and Izuku had to deal with the whole list of symptoms that came with the poison, including spasms in his arm and a fever.

He'd never been bitten or stung by something poisonous before and the experience was grueling for him, but thankfully it didn't last that long. He could move again after two nights, and Stain had been merciful enough to not give him too hard of a time for the delay.

Then, they got stuck in a thunderstorm so harsh that some of the roads they walked past were completely flooded. They were knee-deep in mud and water by the time they found a resting place high enough to be dry, but the explosive sounds of thunder kept them awake for hours. Cold, dirty, and tired, they spent the night just staring out into the chaos in silence.

The lighting and the thunder came at the same time, the storm right on top of them, and they couldn't even talk with all the noise around them. Izuku half wished he knew sign language at that time. Eventually, two days later, they came across a tiny excuse of a river and spent the rest of the day washing their clothes to get rid of the ridiculous amounts of dirt that had clung to the fabric and the inside of their shoes.

And then, worse of all in Izuku's opinion, they'd come across a car accident.

HERE IS WHERE THE TRIGGER WARNING BEGINS

It'd been late at night, probably past midnight, and a curtain of rain was hitting their heads as they walked a few feet from the highway. Stain had been the one to notice that the railing on the other side of the road, the side that fell into a small ravine, was torn open and Izuku ran across the road as fast as he could, only taking the time to make sure he wouldn't get run over.

Beyond the torn metal, about forty feet below and with the front wrapped around a tree, was a blue car. The backlights were still on, as well as the dim light inside the car, but there was no sign of movement.

Izuku gave Stain a desperate look, but his teacher didn't need any persuasion to go down to investigate the wreck. They slid down the slope carefully, Izuku reaching the car first because of his rush of adrenaline. For the rest of his life, he would not forget the sight that met him.

Inside the car, there were three people. There were two bodies in the front seats, both adults, slumped forward and covered in glass and blood. The third body was much smaller than the other two and Izuku was just about to jump into the vehicle when Stain placed a hand on his shoulder. The teen looked away, tears in his eyes, as his mentor reached inside the vehicle to check the three people for a pulse. He found none, and Izuku just shook his head in denial.

"Come on," Stain had told him, "They're all dead."

"Are we just leaving them like this?" Izuku had choked out with a lost look.

"Someone will notice the damage to the railing in the morning and it'll get reported. They'll be found easily."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Accidents like this happen, kid. There's nothing we can do."

"But… I…" Izuku felt hollow. He knew there was nothing to be done, but he wanted so badly to somehow fix the scene before him, to maybe place the bodies in less broken positions. But Stain shook his head, turning the teen around with a steady hand and guiding him back up unto the road.

TRIGGER WARNING FINISHED

They stayed the night nearby and only kept moving forward when they saw a car stop next to the accident in the morning. It'd been risky, horribly so for them to do that, but Izuku simply refused to abandon those people without making sure that they were found. It was the only thing he could do, after all.

He cried the whole night through inconsolably, the hand that Stain placed on his back ever so often being his only contact with reality. The next night, after a whole day of silence, Stain had tried to talk with Izuku.

"Sometimes there's nothing to be done, kid." His tone had been almost understanding, but Izuku just frowned.

"Your heart is in the right place," he continued, leaning forward to look Izuku in the eye, "and that's not bad. But you can't get stuck on these feelings. Do you understand? You have to move past them."

Izuku nodded and let out a small breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"It just felt so… different. You know?"

"It was different. Those were unnecessary deaths."

Izuku bit his lip, tears threatening to cascade from his eyes once more. Stain sighed and moved closer to Izuku to be able to put his hand on the teen's head silently, as he tended to do when Izuku was particularly upset. They stayed like that until Izuku was done crying and, unbeknownst to the boy, Stain stayed up all night to keep a careful eye on him.

After six weeks of adventure and mishaps, they finally arrived at Kōriyama. Evidence of spring was all around them, trees a bright green and flowers blooming everywhere. Classes had just begun and so supply stores were going all out with discounts and advertisements.

Izuku felt no particular emotions towards the start of the school year, much to his own surprise, but he still got taken aback by the news. He heard the news that the U.A. had been attacked by a group of villains just days prior and that one of the first-year classes had been forced to defend themselves in the heat of the moment, but what had shocked him the most was the fact that All Might was now a teacher at said school and he'd been the one to save the students.

But he forced his mind away from those matters, and soon he found himself not caring that much about the U.A. and its students. Stain seemed rather satisfied with that turn of events, and so Izuku felt even better about it all. He felt calm those next three weeks that they stayed in the city and he even used the money he'd been saving to get himself a new notebook and a few new pens. He always went around with his face covered, but by now everyone seemed to have forgotten about what he looked like. Either that or they didn't care. Maybe his mother's description didn't match with what he looked like now, he thought.

Stain attacked two heroes and four random criminals on his own, but Izuku assisted on four more hits. He'd become a reliable support by now, keeping watch on his own and always having Stain's back in case that they ran into any type of trouble. It was rare, but now more and more heroes were going around in pairs rather than alone, and so Izuku's help was always welcome.

Would Stain be able to take out his targets on his own? Most likely. But they fell into a nice rhythm when they went out together and even if Izuku had yet to kill anyone himself, he landed more than one knife throw by the time they were done in Kōriyama. The accident on the road had really done a number on the teen and while he was more efficient in their job now, he also tended to have more nightmares than usual, which was saying something.

But Stain was understanding. He knew that the incident was not comparable with what they did, and so he let the teen cry when he needed and even talked to him when it got too bad. They had their deepest conversation up till that moment on their way to Tokyo weeks later, after Izuku woke up so anxious that he didn't even know where he was.

"Which one was it?" Stain had asked after Izuku got a hold of himself.

"The car, but I was in it when it crashed." The teen had answered softly. His dreams now had the tendency to mix with one another, but it was always either his school's rooftop, the ghostly monsters on the road, or the car accident.

"Why did that get to you so bad, kid?" His mentor asked, actual curiosity in his tone.

"...It's like you said, they weren't targets. They had no reason to die." Izuku started after a long pause, his eyes focused on the sky above them, "I'd never… seen an accident like that before. They were just a family going home, and they… for no reason… I'd never seen innocent people like that. I'd never even seen a dead body before I met you."

The teen sighed and Stain looked at him.

"You've never lost someone before, have you?"

"No. Not really." Izuku's voice was barely above a whisper. The fire next to them had been reduced to mere embers but neither of them tried to revive it since sunrise was less than an hour away. The sky went from a dirty grey to a soft pink and Izuku only snapped out of his daze when Stain spoke again.

"If you're anything like what I used to be, you'll get over it in a few months. So don't worry too much."

"Why do you say that?" Izuku placed all of his attention on the other man. They never spoke about the past.

"That's about how long it took me to get over my parents' deaths."

Oh boy. The door was wide open now and Izuku couldn't help but want to step through. Still, he was careful.

"...How old were you?"

"Fifteen. Like you."

"What… What happened to them?"

At first, there was only silence. Stain wasn't angry, but he also didn't look too sure about whether or not to continue. This talk went against most of the things they had spoken about prior, but it didn't feel completely out of place at this point in their relationship. Eventually, there was an answer.

"I was out most of the time. I was trying to get people to listen to reason with speeches back then. When I got back one morning, the front door was open and I instantly knew something had happened. My parents had money, so it wasn't a complete surprise that someone broke in."

Izuku felt a chill run down his back. Not only had Stain's parents been killed, he'd been the one to find the bodies? The teen couldn't even begin to imagine what that was like. For the briefest of moments, he pictured his mother in the wrecked blue car but quickly shook his head to get rid of the image. He couldn't even begin to deal with that mental image.

"I'm really sorry…" Izuku murmured, a small frown on his face. He didn't know what else to say.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Stain shrugged, and Izuku knew by his tone that the brief moment of honesty was over for now. The door was closed once again but the teen was still amazed that he'd gotten a chance to look at what was on the other side, even if it was just for a moment. After that morning, Izuku's nightmares became less frequent and he felt at home now more than ever. He looked at Stain differently after that.

Izuku slept better the thirteen following nights that it took them to get to Tokyo. The city was absurdly big, with skyscrapers and structures that looked too big to be true and with a number of people that Izuku couldn't believe were able to coexist all together.

And there were oh so many heroes.

Some of Japan's biggest heroes had their agencies in some part of Tokyo and Izuku, while not as starstruck as he might have been a year ago, was still amazed by everything around him.

A big city came with a lot of hiding places, which was great for them both. They could stay pretty close to highly populated areas without raising any suspicions since the city was packed with all types of people. Izuku was almost willing to admit that he could blend into most crowds here even without covering his face, but he wasn't dumb enough to test his theory.

The most childish part of his mind wanted to explore every little place in Tokyo, but the better part of him always stopped him from getting distracted. It was all so tempting though.

The only thing that had truly snapped him out of his curiosity had been an announcement he'd seen one night. They'd been jumping roofs when a screen on some crowded street not too far from where they were caught his eye. It was the date and time of when the U.A's sports festival would take place; apparently in just two days.

That gave him the final push to put all his focus where it had to be, which was here and now. He owed that much to Stain, he thought.

The day of the sports festival, when people were getting together in restaurants and public places to watch the spectacle, Izuku and Stain went out to patrol. With so many individuals outside, there were plenty of heroes assured to be out. It was a good chance, Stain had said.

They'd been walking down an alley, not far from a main street, when a hero practically landed on top of them. Izuku had absolutely no time to react but Stain had thankfully been quick enough to shove the teen out of the way before the other man struck him down. Izuku only recognized him as Ingenium after the hero was a bloody heap on the ground.

"He's fast." Izuku had said, amazed at the speed in which the other two had moved.

"Not fast enough," Stain remarked simply and they walked away before anyone could notice what had happened.

There was no way either of them knew what attacking Ingenium would entail, and so they moved on with their life as if nothing had happened.

When they got back to their hiding place, Izuku settled down next to his bag and pulled out the small battery radio that Stain had gotten when they arrived in Tokyo. Izuku thought it might be useful to know what the reports about them said if only to have the knowledge, and Stain had agreed.

The radio wasn't very powerful, but they still managed to listen to some news reports every once in a while, which was good to keep Izuku distracted whilst he waited for Stain to come back from his solo missions.

The teen turned on the radio, extending the tiny metal antenna and paying close attention to what he heard in case someone had already come across Ingenium. For about an hour there was nothing much on the news, but then Izuku changed the station and listened in absolute shock as the report about the U.A's sports festival finale broke through the static.

The winner for the first year bracket had been the one and only Bakugo Katsuki.

Kacchan. He won the nationally famous sports festival. The reporter was talking about the boy's bright future when Izuku turned off the radio and threw it across the room, not caring if the thing broke into a million pieces.

Kacchan. Of course, it'd been Kacchan. He was so amazing after all, right? Right? With his wonderful quirk and his incredible power, no one could possibly beat him.

Right, Deku?

Izuku paced the room like a caged animal, opening and closing his hands to keep calm whilst Stain looked at him closely. There were no questions, only a calculated look, and Izuku was so upset that he almost glared at his mentor on more than one occasion. He felt trapped in the tiny space where they were staying, and when Stain suggested going out for the night Izuku was eager to go.

They found no hero to attack but running and climbing buildings allowed Izuku to release some steam. They got back to their place almost at dawn, and just as he was about to doze off, Izuku decided to give Stain an explanation for his behavior.

"The guy that won the sport's festival was… my classmate. But, we were friends when we were little."

Stain didn't look particularly interested, but it was nice to finally put his emotions into words and so Izuku continued.

"I used to consider him my best friend, but then he got his quirk and I got none and he just… He was usually the one that riled up the rest of the class against me. He was always just, so cruel , even when he always won everything. Even when everyone praised him, he still found the time to just… mess with me. I think he hates me, actually."

"Sounds like a proper sham." Stain commented, and Izuku gave him a slightly amused look.

"I looked up to him for so long, you know. To me, he was the live image of victory. I followed him around like a little puppy, no matter how much he shoved me away. I just wanted to learn from him, I guess."

Stain gave him a long look before he laned back casually, his brow raised.

"And did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Did you learn anything from that boy?"

Izuku blinked a few times, his ming going through years of memories in search of something. His earliest memories were all nice, back before Kacchan got his quirk, but from then on there was nothing much other than insults, screams, and explosions. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen a nice look aimed his way from those red eyes.

Izuku gave Stain a funny look, a half-smile on his lips.

"I guess I learned what a target looks like."

Stain laughed quietly at the answer, a proper smile tugging at his lips which Izuku returned gratefully. His feelings towards Kacchan hadn't come up in so long, but just now he noticed how bottled up he'd kept the whole thing. He hadn't spoken about it with anyone up till that point, not even his mother. As far as he knew, she still believed they were friends.

For so long he'd chased after the other boy, but now he saw just how toxic that had been for him. He'd looked up to the one that had despised him the most, childishly clinging to someone that had taken it upon themselves to make his life impossible. Once again, he found that he only spoke about this type of thing with Stain and smiled.

The next morning they moved to a new place and stayed low for a bit. The radio, which had miraculously survived its impact with the wall, wouldn't stop talking about Ingenium and the hero patrols that had started showing up around the area. Apparently the hero had survived his encounter with the Hero Killer, and he'd given a brief statement mentioning both Stain and Izuku as 'partners'. Again, the media focused on the teen and his identity but Izuku didn't care much anymore. He was even able to listen to his mother on the radio as she tried to defend him and begged for the heroes in Tokyo to not hurt him.

He wondered if she knew about Ingenium targeting him first, rather than going for Stain.

A few days later Stain and Izuku had been atop a water tank, looking at the city at their feet, when Stain had brandished his katana and pointed it behind them in one swift motion. Izuku turned and, sure enough, there was a bizarre cloud of dark smoke behind them. A deep, tranquil voice emerged from the mist.

"Please, calm down. I assure you we have a very similar way of thinking." The voice started, and Stain raised a questioning brow. Izuku just started, a hand on his own knife just in case.

"I heard all about you and I wanted to meet you, Hero Killer Stain," The voice continued as the mist grew upwards, a bright pair of yellow eyes appearing, "You and your apprentice, of course, Midoriya Izuku. May I have a moment of your time?"

This was clearly someone that Stain didn't know, which made Izuku nervous. How had he located them? Was he working with the police? No, if he was they'd be surrounded by now. But then, what did he want?

"Stain…" Izuku whispered, looking for any kind of sign on how to proceed. After a while, Stain lowered his katana a few inches.

"What for?"

"Me and my employer merely wish to speak with you. We have an offer you might find beneficial for your current work." The yellow eyes responded, voice smooth and even. He sounded so formal that Izuku was confused, but he wouldn't do anything without Stain.

"And who's your boss, exactly?"

"I come in the name of the League of Villains."

Izuku thought the name sounded familiar, but he wasn't sure until Stain spoke.

"You're the ones that attacked U.A, right?"

"Precisely."

Izuku looked at the shadow figure in shock. He was part of the people that had attacked the most prestigious hero school in all of Japan, the very school were Kacchan was attending and were All Might was teaching. Stain narrowed his eyes, looked at Izuku for a second, and then put his katana back in its sheath. Izuku relaxed his shoulders ever so slightly.

"Please, just step through the portal." The smoke indicated, the cloud of smoke growing in size, and Izuku was about to walk forward when Stain stopped him.

"You stay here." The man ordered, much to Izuku's surprise.

"What? But-"

"We don't know if he's telling the truth. I can handle myself. If I'm not back by sunrise, then leave the city." Stain said in a low voice, eyeing the shadow behind him warily. But the figure waited patiently, not making any sort of move.

Izuku swallowed. He really wanted to go with his mentor. Stain left Izuku by himself from time to time, but never for something like this. Who knew where the dark gate would take him, and the mere thought of having to leave Tokyo without Stain by his side made his stomach hurt.

But Stain was wiser and more capable and so the teen bit his tongue and nodded briefly, forcing himself to stay where he was as his mentor disappeared in a cloud of smoke and left the teen alone. Izuku paced around on the tank for what felt like ages but moved down to the rooftop below when he felt like he needed more space to move.

He played around with his knife, trying really hard not to panic as the hours went by and the sun started to near the horizon. What if something happened to Stain? What if there had been an ambush? Izuku was half waiting for the police to burst through the door and apprehend him right then and there. He might be able to get away from that, but then what? Was he really supposed to leave Hosu on his own? How would he meet Stain again?

He just couldn't stay still and he was still pacing around like an idiot when the portal miraculously reopened back on top of the water tank, Stain emerging first and two other figures walking out behind him. Izuku recognized the shadow man by the smoke that formed his head, but the blue-haired man covered in amputated hands was a complete stranger.

Izuku stared up at them, his heart beating fast in anticipation. The men above him spoke in muddied voices and Izuku was just about to climb up to join them when Stain spoke louder. His words about heroes and fakes made the teen smile widely in relief. Apparently things had gone well, even if the newcomer appeared to have a prominent stab wound on his shoulder.

Stain jumped down from the tank and approached Izuku, only giving the teen a brief nod before they went their own way.

The teen was a chatterbox of questions.

"What happened? What did they tell you? Did you make a deal? Why was that other guy hurt, was that you?!"

"Will you stop?" Stain told him, looking slightly exasperated. Izuku had to bite his tongue, but he was still incredibly curious and Stain could tell.

"We're working with them, for now. But I don't see it lasting long. They're absolute scum." Stain told him and Izuku gaped.

"Then why…?"

"They get attention off our backs. That's enough for us."

"Are they contacting us again?"

"When we're done in Hosu," Stain told him, showing Izuku a small object made of metal, "They told me to contact them with this."

Izuku looked at the small communication device and nodded, deciding to place his trust in his elder. He had to stay focused on their work.

A mere half an hour after sunset, and just as Stain was about to finish off another hero, Hosu exploded into mayhem. From the alley where they were, they could see smoke and the light of the fire and they could also hear screaming.

"What is that?" Izuku had asked, preoccupied.

"It's that stupid league. You can just tell how inexperienced and stupid they are. But I'll get rid of them later," Stain scoffed, placing his attention on the hero in his grasp, "For now, we do our job."

Izuku nodded, listening as the hero cursed Stain and the villain offered him to pick his last words carefully. He sometimes did that, when their targets stayed conscious after the first attack. But there was no time for words as a second figure arrived on the scene. It was a kid no older than Izuku, the teen noticed as his helmet went flying because of Stain.

"This is no place for a kid," Stain warned him, much like he had with Izuku all those months ago, but this was different. This boy looked furious.

"I've been looking for you, Hero Killer. I'm lucky to find you so soon," He spoke gravely and Izuku noticed the same thing that his teacher did. This boy was looking for revenge, you could see it in the hatred in his eyes. His costume looked familiar enough that Izuku knew he was somehow related to Ingenium before he even said it. Stain's words hung thick in the air.

"Even if you're a kid, you can become a target." He was serious, Izuku knew that much. If this boy didn't watch his mouth then he'd end up dead for sure. Izuku had never seen Stain strike down anyone so young, but he was certain that it would happen as soon as the boy professed how he would not only capture Izuku but kill Stain in his brother's name.

It was too late by the time Izuku tried to speak up. The boy was on the ground, katana nestled deep in his shoulder, but even like that he was still talking about his desire for revenge.

He even ignored the hero in need, Izuku thought, unable to disagree with his mentor even if he wanted to. This boy had made things personal, he wanted to catch Stain only because he had gotten personally hurt, and that just wouldn't fly. Izuku looked at the raised katana, waiting for the blade to plunge into the targets body, but some movement behind Stain caught his eye.

"Stain!" Izuku tried to warn, his hand reaching for his knife, but he got sent flying to the side because of an explosion going off right next to his face. His body was sent flying against the wall, his left ear ringing horribly and his face feeling hot. He felt disoriented, and he could barely make Stain's voice over the static in his head. His teacher was calling out for him.

There was a hero dressed in blue fighting with Stain but that hadn't been the cause of the explosion since Izuku could see how the hero used water to fight off his teacher.

"Deku!" He managed to hear over his temporary deafness, and he froze. He knew that voice too well.

"I finally found you, you useless shit!" Bakugo barked, his eyes narrowed with murderous intent in a way that made Izuku tremble unconsciously. He was wearing a hero costume, a pair of big grenades decorating his wrists and a mask on his face, but it was Kacchan alright. Izuku would recognize the other boy anywhere.

"Bakugo!" The other boy called, sounding frustrated and surprised but clearly recognizing Izuku's old classmate. Did they know each other? Had they come looking for Stain and Izuku together? Maybe they were in U.A. together, Izuku though in his commotion.

"I told you, I'm not here for you, four eyes," The blonde barked, sparks coming out of his hand, "I don't give a damn about you or your petty vendetta. I'm here for him."

Izuku swallowed, his knife held firmly in his palm. He forced his eyes to focus and tensed his body, anticipation filling him with adrenaline and determination. Whether he wanted it or not, this was happening, right here and right now.

There was no time for past feelings or hesitation.

He was getting out of here with Stain even if it killed him.