Set between S7 'First Date' and "Get It Done'. Fun fact: the microwave is finally replaced.

...

The bathroom line never ended. Buffy cleaned around the house, checked the mail and bills, finished her laundry and ate some leftovers, all chores meaningless to the universe yet crucial for everyday life. She yearned for a hot shower and in the end washed quickly with lukewarm water, courtesy of several girls before her, chilled to the bone from a graveyard outing. As she came into the corridor with damp hair, she ran straight into Willow, smiling to her in her comfy pajamas.

She already postponed their quality time enough and felt guilty for brushing her friend off. She owed her for the last few days, the middle-of-the-night girl talk about emotions she could barely even feel at this point, drained from stress and lack of sleep. Did they even have strawberry schnapps?

"Are you tired, Buffy?", the redhead asked and she shook her head, following her downstairs. "We could do this some other time."

"I'm okay", she affirmed, running her fingers through her hair and letting it air-dry. "If you're up to it, that is. I'm staying up to go through some things anyway." Willow hummed at her to continue as she made them tea. "You know, training plans, battle schemes, patrol schedule. The better part of slaying."

"And how did it go today?" Will put two steaming mugs on the kitchen island and brought out a pack of cookies she secretly stashed earlier. Snacks were scarce nowadays, though veggies never seemed to run out.

"I don't know", Buffy admitted, sipping slowly. "What did the girls say?"

"Opinions vary." Will smiled mischievously, reached into a deep end of a cupboard and brought out a bottle of rum, then giggled and added a little to their cups. Buffy shook her head slowly.

"Vi's hand still hurts and Rona thinks it's pointless. Kennedy was excited, though."

"Kennedy did really good", Buffy nodded, thinking back to today's training. The girl managed to land two punches on Spike before he tackled her. "She has the right attitude, too. Hope she can influence the rest." She noticed Will was beaming a little.

"And you really closed the crypt with them inside? I bet they pissed themselves", she smirked, then sobered a little. "Did Kennedy..?"

"We had to hold her back so she wouldn't dust the vamp right away".

...

The middle of the night was the only time Spike had a chance to take a decent if cold shower. He planned to borrow the stuff lying around; it was fair game. It's not like he even owned a towel, so he went upstairs wearing only his pants, then stopped behind the closed doors when he heard voices coming from the kitchen.

He really hoped to catch Buffy alone and have a serious conversation on straddling him in public and the absurdity of that pretend date with Robin Wood, but as he listened, he realized she was laughing with Willow. Girl gossip was usually boring and he planned to just go past them when he caught on - they were talking about him.

...

"So... how are things between you guys?" Willow kept pouring them more rum as if Buffy couldn't be honest with her without it. And didn't Dawn tell her? Or Dawn told her and she didn't believe it?

"We're kinda back together." Here comes. "Well, not really back, 'cause I don't count the toxic abuse thing. So... let's just say we're together in the 'I told him I love him' kind of way."

"Wow." As expected. "...wow. Buffy, does it mean you forgave him, for, you know... earlier?"

"He wasn't in control, Will." She stirred her drink. "It was the First."

"That's not what I meant. T-the... the bathroom. Earlier."

Buffy knew what she meant, but she was stalling, wondering why was her friend so afraid to call things by their names. She stayed silent for a moment, and Willow took it personally.

"I know... I'm not Tara", she whispered, avoiding her eyes. "She had that understanding and compassion, and it made it easy for people to confide in. But maybe... I could pretend to be her for a moment... so you could talk to me?"

"It's not that", Buffy sighed. "I love talking to you, Will. You don't have to pretend. It's just... things were so different back then. A lot has happened."

"A lot that was more important than that?" she asked in disbelief and to Buffy, it sounded judgemental. Why couldn't she just say the word?

"Will, do you think attempted rape is worse than murder?"

It came out too aggressively and as Willow sat stunned, Buffy backtracked. "Sorry." So much for the r-word. "Yes, I forgave him. Also, this was all... pre-soully." In a different lifetime.

Willow took her answer at face value and didn't press the subject. "Well, now that he is past-soully", she wondered out loud. "To be honest, he doesn't seem so different. With Angel it was like he was a different person... a separate entity."

She was right. Spike's personality didn't change much. His weird taste for blood toppings and punk fashion, sarcasm, dirty looks and obsession with soaps were all there, resurfaced when the cloud of initial insanity subsided. He fought wildly, smoked and drank, and he still loved her.

It's about self-loathing.

"That's why I got his chip removed."

"What do you mean?" Willow was lost in the sudden thought leap.

"It's like..." Buffy tried to explain. "A vampire's primal need is hunger, compelling them to kill to satisfy it. But if you take away the ability to hunt, leaving the hunger with no way to satiate it, what is left?"

Willow gestured at her to continue. "Spike had to adapt in order to survive. It... changed who he is on a fundamental level. It would be cruel to refuse him freedom based on his past when he knew no other way of living." She really wished Giles understood that.

"We all have the potential for evil, we are technically able to kill and hurt others, but choose not to based on our principles, on morals. A soul gives him the same sense of guilt, and conscience, a-and penance." She finished, staring at her mug, and only raised her eyes when Willow didn't reply for a long while.

"That was... deep, Buffy", she finally uttered, pondering the words.

She shrugged. "Well, I did take those two semesters at Uni... Wait, does it mean I'm usually shallow?"

"No, no!" Willow was quick to deny. "I-I guess you just know your vampires."

...

Spike opened the door slowly and walked up to the girls. Buffy was sitting with her back to him and didn't even turn around, sensing his presence. Willow, on the other hand, took one look at him and started giggling.

"Do you just roam free all night?", she asked, calming down.

He pointed at the Slayer. "I roam as long as she's up." He then noticed a half-empty rum bottle on the counter.

"Private party? 'Cause Red, some booze would really make up for the lack of cigs on the shopping list."

"Cigarettes are expensive", Buffy sighed. She didn't seem drunk to him, just exhausted. "And a fifth of our budget goes to the pink tax already."

Spike didn't get it. "What's that?"

"A house full of girls?" The Slayer raised her eyebrows at him. "We should order in bulk?" Still nothing. "Gotta hole up the candy?"

"Oh God, what if they synchronize?" Willow gasped and they both laughed. Once it dawned on him, fags simply landed on his 'nick it' list.

...

Kennedy walked down the stairs, rubbing her eyes. "Will, are you going to bed?", she asked, taking in the scene before her. An empty bottle of rum, Willow giggling, Buffy with a shirtless vampire leering at her. All in all, fairly typical.

"I'm going right up. Sorry if I woke you", the redhead whimpered. Kennedy waited for her by the stairs.

"Good work today", Buffy praised her, standing up while holding the edge of the counter. "Keep it up."

"Thanks." Willow climbed the stairs and Kennedy went after her, then glanced back with a smirk. "Oh, and you two together? Way too obvious, but don't worry. He's a good guy, with a soul and all, right?" She carried on when they didn't answer. "It's not like you'd get it on with a regular vamp, even that hot looking." She winked at them and left the room.

"Right", Buffy said slowly, staring straight ahead. She could feel Spike's snicker. "Didn't you have to use the bathroom?"

...

Violet woke up suddenly, taking in her dark surroundings. A shred of a dream still lingered on her mind as she listened to the slow breaths of the girls sleeping beside her. She couldn't quite remember, but it was unsettling and she had to use the bathroom now, unable to go back to sleep right away.

She carefully stepped between sleeping bags, then stopped at the door, hearing a noise in the corridor. But they were save here, right? A Slayer nearby, it was probably nothing, maybe another girl...

She opened the doors slowly and stood eye to eye with Spike. His hum, the noise she heard before, died down and he cleared his throat before leaving. Was he... using the bathroom? Damp hair, droplets of water on pale skin, wearing only his black jeans. Bloodthirsty killer, she reminded herself.

Vi couldn't help but notice how weird it was. They were battling a vampire army, yet living with one of them under their roof. And yes, he was a strong fighter and they needed any help they could get. But why would he..?

Was having a soul motivation enough to join the fight against evil, evil being, by definition, his primal drive? Vi didn't know. She entered the bathroom after him, taking in the steamy air and a sharp smell of bleach.

Many people had souls and were still evil. Was it really safe, was he necessary for this fight? They had Buffy, Willow, and... oh. Well, not much else, come to think of it.

She flushed and washed her hands, eyes still half-closed so the bright light wouldn't wake her up fully. As she went back out to the corridor, she heard soft voices downstairs and they piqued her curiosity.

Eavesdropping was bad, sure. But what if it was a secret meaning, something to do with their imminent future? It's not like they had daily briefings; everyone was so secretive and Vi wanted to take solace in knowledge. They wouldn't be talking groceries at 3 am.

She sneaked down the stairs and spotted Buffy and Spike by the kitchen island, whispering between themselves. They were the most aggressive whispers she ever witnessed. Like a muted tv show, both of them throwing offensive gestures and pointing at papers on the counter.

There was something about the way Buffy addressed the vampire. Like they were equals... like he was another human. But wasn't evil just evil? Were there different shades of it, saturations, and being the Slayer meant smudging the border between who's who? The powers did come from demons, after all. Was it really about keeping the balance?

She suddenly smelled something different than the bleach, metallic and sour. As she went down the stairs, she realized it was blood. He has to kill to live.

Vi tripped and regained her balance by grabbing the railing, but the sound caught their attention. She was screwed.

"We woke you, didn't we?", Buffy came closer to her. "Sorry. Do you need anything?"

Was it a curse? She was bitchy in daylight and nice at night?

"Um, no, thanks", Vi mustered, her eyes darting between them. Now to escape. She could see Spike by the counter, eyeing her intently, curled hair still wet. Damn.

"I'll just go back to sleep. Goodnight." She went back up the stairs quickly and saw Molly, yawning by the bathroom door. This house never slept.

"Don't go downstairs", she warned her, planning to burn all of her Anne Rice books.