Chapter 10

4 weeks later

It was a vague sort of tension that hovered in the air between them.

Its not like things hadn't been going well with her and Nathan. In the past 4 weeks they had moved from a rather unsettling relationship to one that was much more amicable, in some ways supportive of each other. Most of the moments shared between them were in work and they were either work or baby related.

It was better that way, Haley figured - she supposed it helped keep a rather complicated situation uncomplicated.

Maybe that's why he seemed so off today. This was way beyond the line of work or baby.

This was very personal and Nathan didn't like personal and she knew he didn't want it.

She'd tried to talk herself out of it so many times but god Karen was the most persistentt and loveliest women and those two traits together were deadly. She wished Lucas hadn't opened his big mouth and said anything about her mom gone half way across the world to London no less, where her sister Vivian had only moved to this year.

A visit was on the cards for Haley but not at Thanksgiving.

Even Brooke offered to stay in New York with her to get her our of this Scottfest, as amused Brooke was by the whole thing but no Karen had insisted- considering Haley was now 20 weeks pregnant with her grandchild she really wanted her there.

Nathan didn't. It's not like they fought over it, maybe that would have been easier. He reassured her he could see his mother's viewpoint, even he didn't like the thought of her spending thanksgiving in her apartment with Brooke but he also told her he just wasn't sure he was completely comfortable having her around his family.

Haley wasn't taking it personal, it was Nathan through and through besides if the shoe was on the other foot she wouldn't be too comfortable either - the last thing either of them needed just when they were beginning to find solid ground between each other were family members butting their heads in.

Karen was very quick to tell Haley that Dan's parents and his brother Keith wouldn't be like that at all.

Still Nathan remained reluctant and right now that reluctance was manifesting as rigidty as he drove along the highway - about an hour to go she realised from where the satnav sat perched between the two brothers, oh joy.

'Maybe an hour and ten' Haley mused to herself as she asked Nathan to pull in once again. Yep 20 weeks pregnant was a different ball game entirely when it came to bladder strength.

'Try and ease up on her Nate, I know this is hard and Haley doesn't show it but she's more nervous about how you're taking this than the thing itself.'

'I don't want that you know I don't' Nathan insisted.

'I know but if you clench your jaw any tighter while driving its gonna lock.' Lucas said.

'I'm trying Luke I really am I just think….'

'That this is a really bad idea.' Luke repeated for Nathan for like the fifteenth time. 'I know but think of it this way Nate, they were going to meet her sometime she's having your child…really this situation was unavoidable…and besides our family are real open about things like this its not like all hell is going to break loose because you brought a pregnant girl home.'

'Besides I don't think grandma or grandad are expecting Haley to show up…'

'What do you mean? '

'Let's say when you inevitably got a girl pregnant we didn't think it was going to be a girl like Haley..'

'Jee thanks for the support Luke you in on this little joke as well.'

'I made it.' Lucas egged him on and Nathan just whacked him on the arm.

'Oh come on Nate. Kylie, Erica….Jade…do I need to go on?'

'Shut up.'

Lucas just chuckled.

'Lily is all excited.'

Nathan smiled at that. 'I bet.'

'She thinks she is your girlfriend too.'

'Look me and Haley are having a hard time uncomplicating this situation, try and explain it to an 8 year old girl.'

'True.' Lucas mused. 'Smart kid though.'

'Yea.' Nathan smirked. 'She definitely gets that for mom.'

Lucas chuckled as he agreed. 'Always feels heavier this time of year?'

'Sure does.'Nathan said sadly.

'OH my god you know what I think I need a sign on my back that say's yes I'm pregnant..the amount of people that just stare at your belly, am I that big….I don't feel like I'm waddling but am I? Please don't say I am because I've got like another 20 weeks to go…'

Nathan and Luke just glanced at each other again trying to bite back the smirks at her heedless rambling. Yes maybe thing weren't so heavy anymore thanks to the free spirited blonde in the back of their car.

'Nathan do I waddle?' She asked him the noticing neither of the Scott boys were giving her the time of day.

'What? No of course you don't.' Nathan insisted.

Haley wasn't convinced.

'You definitely don't waddle Haley.' Lucas jumped in and Nathan sent him a look saying he totally owed him for that.

XXXXX

And if Haley thought it was going to be a gradual easing in she was completely wrong, she hadn't really being sure what to expect but she hadn't expected to meet so many faces so soon.

Her thanksgivings had been so different, so quiet and despite the busyness of the Scott household right now the homey feel to it truly filled her with a sense of calm. Karen also helped to ease her initial nerves stealing her away to the kitchen.

'I hope you're not too overwhelmed Haley our family…well they can be a lot sometimes..' Karen mused as she put the final touches to the turkey.

Haley was grateful it would soon be time for dinner to be served. She was at that stage of the pregancy where she was making up for all the nausea in her first and second trimester and eating everything around her.

'It's ok…it's actually kind of nice you know. Thanksgiving was a rather small occasion in my house still lovely though…just different.' Haley noted as Karen smiled. 'Well I imagine the food was just as good with those culinary skills.'

Haley smiled. 'Mum had us in the kitchen since we were 7 between that and running her own café I guess its second nature.'

'It's nice to have another female that can cook around here….'

'I am just happy one of my brothers finally brought a girl home..' Lily said as she came out from behind the kitchen counter, the little doll Nathan had brought her hanging from her hand.

'Were you listening to our conversation missy?' Karen said with a hand on her hip.

'No.' Lily said with a smile Haley knew must melt her brother's hearts.

'Hmm…' Karen said unconvinced. 'You ok sweetie?'

'I was wondering if I could sit beside Haley?'

'Well you have to ask her sweetie she might be sitting beside Nathan.' Karen said smiling at Haley.

'Can I sit beside you Haley?' Lily asked sweetly.

'Of course you can.' Haley said.

'I already asked Nathan he told me I can if I talk to you everytime grandma Mae tries to ask you a question.' Lily said honestly.

'Did he now?' Karen said not at all surprised by her son's request.

'Yea mommy. He said Haley is shy and won't like grandma asking her lots of questions.'

Haley glanced at Karen who couldn't help but smile. 'You know what kiddo you go tell your brother Haley will be just fine.'

'Ok.' Lily said as she bounced out of the room.

'Little mischief maker.' Karen said as herself and Haley began to set out all the dishes ready to bring them into the dining room.

'Would you say she's more like Nathan or Luke…'

'Oh Nathan and I swear the pair of them know it, they've always had a different kind of bond you know?' Karen said as Haley smiled. 'I see so much of Dan in Lily like I did with Nathan.'

'Me and luke we're alike, the soft calmness, we let our emotions simmer a bit before we react , we reach out to people. Nathan is like Dan , he's a little harder on the outside but probably even softer than Luke on the inside but he won't let that show..' Karen said. 'If I'm being honest with you Haley it's like since Dan's death he decided that nothing else would hurt him again and he's controlled that every moment since. He doesn't do well with letting people in so I'm glad to see you two have become…I don't know if closer is the right word but it seems that way..'

'We have I guess…' Haley said softly. 'We just had to put our own grievances aside for the baby you know?'

Karen nodded knowingly. 'I know it hasn't being easy on your Haley but you'll always have this families support you know that?'

Haley just gave Karen a knowing smile.

'I'm glad it's you.' Karen said as she gave her hand a squeeze. 'Now come on we better get this food out there before you meet the crankier version of my family and decide it's not to early to do a runner.'

XXXXX

Everyone awed over the spread of food across the table tucking in and relishing in its deliciousness, thanking Haley too for her help in the kitchen.

The initial chit chat was easy asking Haley where she was from and how she was setting into New York. Haley even asked some questions herself and the small talk soon turned into laughter and jokes and jibes being thrown.

Haley heard some of the little details of people's lives such as Keith and Deb whom she did not know, she soon learned Keith had taken over his brother's dealership where he met Deb who had been his first car sale. That story made Haley smile, it was the kind of romance herself and Brooke had sourly given up on at the age of 24.

'So I guess the real question here is how does a knucklehead like you end up with this lovely lady?' Keith jibbed as everyone at the table let out a soft laugh.

'Thanls Uncle Keith.' Nathan said sarcastically.

'Get used to it your father heard it for years.'

Nathan just shrugged as he smiled.

His father had wondered it himself, god he had worshiped the ground Karen walked on, their love well it was like something you'd find in old hard bound, dust-settled literature books, the kind of books Lucas had read all his life.

Nathan had never read those books but his mother had told him tales, watching his parents love had shaped his view on the world for some time and then that view was altered, he wasn't even sure a love as such was healthy for a person now. Only for Lily he'd convinced himself his mother wouldn't have survived Dan's passing.

It was quite literally heartbreak.

'Nathan…' Haley prodded him softly then, the slight touch of her hand across his knuckles felt so very visceral, its simplicity profound. Nathan looked into her beseeching eyes watching as she nodded across at his grandfather.

Shit he was talking to him, Nathan had been pulled so deep into his thoughts he hadn't a clue what he had just said to him either.

'You know Jagelski is taken on the Ravens this season Whitey is off on leave.'

Silence fell around them all. Haley noticed some brief stolen tense looks, someone waiting on anyone to speak - it was oddly like those stuffy boardroom meetings when Nathan would be about to loose his cool.

Nathan felt the blistering cold freeze his body, it was just a nickname but still the casual way it slipped from his granddad's mouth unnerved him. Of course Jake had taken on that name from his old man.

'Is Whitey ok?' Lucas piped in when no one said anything on the matter.

'He has to have an eye operation, sounds worse than it is. The surgery isn't complicated but his recovery will take some time.'

'Think Jagelski wouldn't mind another pair of eyes on that team. I know you boys are home for a few days so I told him one of you might take a look.'

The silence and heavy tension between the brothers now was definitely way worse than any meeting Haley had ever sat through. She was completely confused with why all of a suden the atmosphere in the dining room felt stifiling.

Haley glanced Karen's way growing even more confused when she noticed the look Karen was giving to Nathan's grandfather, as if to not press the matter any further.

'Might be a way to expose yourself to the game again Nathan.' The man continued regardless.

Karen closed her eyes as if accepting this was going to happen but wishing it didn't. She knew that with Nathan it was was a ticking time bomb if this man kept pushing.

'I'm fine just as I am grandad. Besides coaching is definitely more Lucas' thing…'

'I wouldn't mind taking a look at them.' Lucas agreed.

This didn't please Royal one bit though. 'You both can.' His gaze fell onto Nathan then who was clenching his jaw. 'I don't know why you're so adamant not to even to help out son…'

'I'm just done with it ok just like I was last thanksgiving and the year before that. It's just a damn game that you seem to have some really annoying fascination with…'

Haley began to twirl her fork in her leftovers rather uncomfortably.

'So did you if I remember right just like your father.'

'Stop it.' Nathan warned him.

'Boys enough. I told you not to bring up basketball at this table.' Mae said then giving Royal a stern look.

Basketball? Haley really iddnt have a clue what was going on, she'd never heard of Nathan and basketball in the same sentence. Then again Nathan didn't do personal.

'I'm just trying to help the boy Mae…'

'I'm right here.' Nathan gritted out.

'Are you?' Royal said. 'Because my grandson loved that game since he could hold a damn ball and you remember what Whitey said to you after Danny died? He said that game could heal you if you let it but you just ran…'

The painfully piercing screeching of the back legs of the chair effectively cut Royal off as Nathan pushed back and stood up giving his grandad one last hateful glare as he left the room.

Haley popped down her fork making a move to go before Karen stopped her.

'He'll be ok.' She said. 'I'd give him a few minutes.'

'Im sorry Karen..' Royal said then with a regretful look on his face. 'I am, I wasn't trying to hurt him I just….'

'I know.' Karen said softly.

'I just think the more space we give him with this the less he is ever going to deal with it, just upping and quitting from everything to do with basketball isn't good for him either.'

'There's just too many memories tied up in it.' Lucas said softly.

'I know that son but he needs to process that..'

'I think you're still caught up in the NBA dream Royal it wasn't to be..' Nathan's grandmother intercepted.

NBA? Haley's eyes widened at that, her surprised gaze catching onto Luke's wistful smile. NBA? What the…Nathan was going to go professional? What happened?

'Its not that, I just want him to love it again…I want that for him.' Royal insisted.

Haley found the voices tuning out around her as she pushed out of her chair without a word to anyone sneaking away from the opinions and inputs of them all. She walked to the stairwell and let go of a breath she hadn't even realised she had been holding in as she sat on the bottom step resting her head in her hands.

'You alright?' She felt Luke's presence lingering over her.

Haley glanced up to see him leaning against the wall, a semi aggrieved expression over his face.

'Yea..' Haley lied. 'That was just….'

'Yea thanksgiving at the Scotts is just like any other family, once the wine gets flowing it all comes out.' Lucas tried to tease. 'Well done for getting through your first one without alcohol.'

Haley was biting her lip not really registering Lucas' words, her mind completely elsewhere. 'The NBA..' She pondered softly 'Luke…what…..I mean how…' She mumbled trying to sieve through her jumbled thoughts.

'You want to hear it from me or Nathan?' He asked softly.

'Was it something bad?' It's like the thought scared her, Nathan's reaction in the room earlier had her mind going to the worst of places.

'Well physically he could still play put it that way.' Lucas assured her smiling as she visibly seemed to relax a little, her concern for his younger brother very apparent.

Haley nodded in understanding, she really didn't know why this was upsetting her - obviously they had become closer, friends even but it wasn't anything deeper. Yet she had so badly wanted to reach out to him at the dinner table but she didn't know why and she didn't know what for.

XXXXX

Haley's fingers curled around the handle despite knowing it wouldn't budge. 'Nathan..' She called softly. Nothing.

'He told me to go play in my room.'

Haley's heart jumped a little at the sound and she glanced down the hall to see Lily swinging her legs off the end of her bed.

Haley smiled at her as she left Nathan's door and walked over to the girl's room. 'You know my room was purple too when I was smaller.'

Lily smiled wildly at that. 'Are you Nathans girlfriend?' She asked somewhat shlyly then sucking on her pinkie finger.

Haley wandered into her room more and sat down on her unicorn quilted bedsheet beside her. 'I'm not Lily, we're friends.'

'I think you would look cute together.'

Haley just smiled at the girl.

Lily smiled brightly back at Haley as she picked up the foam basketball resting beside her hip and made a shot through the kingfisher hoop in the corner of her bedroom.

'Wow where did you learn that?'

'Nathan taught me.' Lily said proudly. 'Did you know that he was going to play basketball Haley?'

'In college huh?' Haley said as Lily went to pick up the ball and not so graciously threw it back towards Haley.

Lily laughed as Haley failed to catch it. 'Yea and in real life.' She smiled. 'I think he would have been a big star. Then he stopped. I think if Mr. Waffles went to heaven I'd be too sad to do some of the things we did together too.'

Haley felt her heart lurch. Something so honest about children - so many things were revealing themselves to her all at once. 'Mr. Waffles..?'

'That's him. He is sleeping now.' Lily said pointing towards her purple elephant teddy lying mushed between her two pillows.

Haley made a shot then that didn't even make the rim and Lily giggled.

'Nathan will have to teach you too.'

'I think I'll get it this time.' Haley joked as she tried again and the shot was even worse than before as the foam ball knocked into Lily's little dress up table and hit her poly pockets. 'Oh sorry Lily..' Haley grimaced at the mess she made in a matter of seconds. Luckily for her the girl just giggled. Haley laughed alongside her.

'Lils what are you doing?' Nathan's groggy voice interrupted the pair of giggling girls who immediately stopped as though they were in trouble.

'Haley tried to make a shot..' Lily said beginning to giggle again.

'It was really bad I just...it knocked everything over I'm sorry…' Haley rambled. 'Were you sleeping?'

Their giggling and silliness had him smiling sheepishly despite the heaviness in his heart. 'I was trying to.' He said giving Lily a look.

'Haley wanted to see if you were ok.' Lily told her brother as if to warn him not to go all ratty on either of them

Haley could have giggled even more at the look Lily was currently giving him.

Nathan relented with a sigh as Lily went back to fixing her poly pockets.

'Are you ok?' Haley said softly involuntarily moving closer to him.

'Yea…I'm sorry that was…'

'You have nothing to apologise for Nathan.' Haley said subconsciously running the tips of her fingers down his arm.

Her subtle touch was like a very electric livewire on his forearm he could feel his body wanting to lurch from the sheer intensity of it all, it startled him how hyper aware he was of her touch.

Haley swallowed hard as his eyes found hers, acutely aware of something so potent swirling there its like she could finally see something within their depths and not just the cloak of darkness his orbs usually gave the world.

'Are you going to teach Haley how to play?' Lily's sweet voice interrupted the pair and this time Nathan dd lurch his arm back like he had been burned as his eyes found his sister.

'Not today Lils.'

The girls face fell a little.

'Maybe you can.' Haley said. 'I mean if Nathan showed you, you can show me right?' Haley said. 'You made three shots already.'

'Ok I can try.' Lily said giggling again. 'But Haley….' She seemed kind of shy all of a sudden.

'It's ok Lily you can say I'm really bad.' Haley said.

'You can't be that bad. It's a kingfisher basketball net Hales.' Nathan said then. The way her nickname fell so casually from his lips had a certain lightness in her heart.

'I knocked over everything.'

'Show him.' Lily said as she pushed the plush basketball towards Haley. 'It will make you smile.' She said to her big brother.

Haley just gave him a look before she tried to conentrate this time and aim it for the basket which it completely missed.

'You can laugh now.' She said towards Nathan.

His smile was wide and ever so gorgeous. 'Maybe if you tried with a real net..'

'OH no….no no no…' Haley rambled. 'That's even worse. You know I had nightmares about passing gym.'

'I can see why.' Nathan said effectively dodging the plush basketball she threw his way.

'I hope that doesn't happen to me.' Lily said.

'You will be ok. Your big brother here has your back.' Haley mused.

'Ok Haley stand over here.' Lily said bossily.

Nathan just shook his head at his sister, she sounded just like his mother with her bossiness then.

'And you're going to hold it like this.' Lily showed her. 'And then give it a light throw..'

'Remember to raise your hand a little Lils.' Nathan commented softly.

She huffed with an eye roll and stomped her right foot. 'You said I could show her.'

Haley almost giggled, yep Lily was definitely like her brother.

'You can I'm just helping.'

'Be quiet Nathan.'

Haley was trying not to laugh as she glanced at Nathan, there was no one that could put him in his place like his mother and his sister that's for sure.

Haley tried the shot now just like Lily showed her and it almost made it in.

'Nearly Haley.' The girl encouraged with an excited squeal.

'Think you've almost past gym.' Nathan teased her.

She stuck out her tongue and he chuckled before she made the shot again.

'IT went in!' Lily screamed excitedly.

'Oh dear what's going on in here?' Karen said as she came upon the three of them in her daugher's bedroom.

'I thought Haley how to shoot a basket mummy.'

'Is that so?' Karen said.

'Yea didn't I Haley?'

'You sure did.'

Karen smiled. 'Its time to decorate the icing.' She said to her daughter then who bounced up happily the basketball soon forgotten. Oh to be a kid Haley wondered.

'If you want to come back downstairs Mae and Royal have taken a walk before pudding.' Karen said knowingly as she gave her son a rub on the shoulder before giving Haley a knowing smile.

Going back downstairs was almost a more welcoming option this moment rather than being here with Haley alone, he wasn't even sure how her touch could unnerve him so much. He could feel the twinge of nevres building now in her company which was almost a foreign feeling for him.

'You feeling okay?' Nathan distracted himself then as he nodded down towards the bump. Haley was showing nicely now at 20 weeks, her light marron sweater curved over the bump perfectly. Her petite figure carried it so daintly, pregnancy looked beautiful on her, of course it did.

'Yea actually I'm just glad I can keep food down because Karen's cooking is amazing' Haley said as she met his eyes again.

He wasn't even sure if it was nerves now as his eyes met her remarkable brown ones, it wasn't really an anxiousness - more of a rush, he actually found he liked it although it was equally confusing and unsettling. Nathan shook his head of his thoughts noticing Haley giving him an odd look. Great make things even weirder between you two.

'I'm gonna go for a run so if you want to take a nap or something you should probably rest your feet.'

Haley sent him a soft smile trying to hide her disappointment, truthfully she wanted to spend more time with him but she could tell he was eager to leave.

She felt a yearning for him to open up to her and she didn't know where it was coming from, it seemed to get stronger the more time she spent in his company like that night on the pier walk 4 weeks ago she'd enjoyed the honest conversation between them.

'Ok I guess i'll see you later then.' She said quietly.

XXXXX

Nathan paused in his driveway breathing heavily just as his grandparents were coming down the porch with a basket of leftovers in their hands.

'Son…' Yoyal said capturing Nathan'a attention as he stood there trying to regulate his breathing.

'Look I wasn't trying to upset you ok or rise you or do anything of the sort.'

'I know grandad I just don't think bringing that up at the dinner table is ever a good idea.' Nathan said quietly.

'If not then when? Whenever I try to talk to you about it you either walk away from me or run away. I'm not trying to hurt you Nathan I just want…'

'I'm never gonna be playing professional basketball grandad I don't want to.'

'And I don't want you to if I'm being honest all that never bothered me it's what it used to give you, I know you lost it when your father died but then you got it back and I remember you telling me you felt closer than ever to him when you played again why cant it be the same with Jake?'

'It can just maybe not right now.' Nathan said as his grandfather nodded knowingly. 'I'm sorry I stormed out.'

'That's ok son you know I'm here for you right?' He said as he patted Nathan on the shoulder.

'And we both love you very much, we just want to see you happy and maybe that girl could make you happy..'

'Grandma…' Nathan winced then.

'I know honey.' Mae said already pre-empting Nathan's counter argument. 'But life has a funny way of turning things around for us, just be open to that.'

Nathan stepped inside the quiet foyer having said goodnight to his grandparents promising he would see them before he went back to New York, hoping their next meeting would be a little less heavy. It wasn't always like this between them but thanksgiving did usually bring up some painful emotions there was no denying that.

He hated to wish it away but there was no denying the relief in his heart that the day was almost over. Some days were just harder than orders. Plain and simple.

Nathan stepped into the sitting room his eyebrows raised in surprise at the sheeted tent in the centre of the room, fairy lights draped all across the opening to the space. Nathan knelt down onto his knees ducking his head watching as Haley put her finger to her lips pointing to a sleeping Lily further down the blanket beside her.

'Hey…' Haley whispered softly then.

'Hi.' Nathan replied quietly.

Haley patted the space next to Lily smiling as Nathan awkwardly crawled all of his 6ft frame into it. 'I didn't think I could fit in here.'

'We made it big enough for 3.' Haley whispered back.

'This is really cool.' Nathan said as he lied down folding his hands behind his head as he glanced around him. He smiled to himself. This was all Haley, the warmth, cosiness and creativity of the space.

'She was so excited making it she lasted about 5 minutes before falling asleep.'

Nathan chuckled at that.

The pair lay there in silence for several minutes.

'I shouldn't be here Nathan.' Haley whispered quietly then breaking the odd comfort they'd somehow found with each other.

He frowned at her words, complete paradox to the sheer complacency of the moment, the space between them. 'Why would you say that?'

'Because this holiday is already hard and I'm just making it harder.'

'You're not.' Nathan promised her. 'You couldn't.'

'Nathan you went on an hour long run, in fact only for dinner I wouldn't have seen you today you should be around your family…..'

'Haley it's not cause you're here. Even if you weren't here I would have left. I just I'm used to managing things alone…' Nathan admitted as he stared at the tented ceiling above them.

'I get it. I mean we wouldn't even be here talking if it wasn't for this baby.' Haley relented.

'I like having you here.' Nathan admitted softly then as he glanced across at her.

Haley's head fell to the side , she wasn't sure she ever seen his eyes so wide and innocent, boyish almost as opposed to the strong maculine façade he put out to the world. Funny how she found herself caught between so many facets of Nathan, the self-assertive pushy guy she first met, the surly worker who led her to believe he didn't have a care in the world which she was quickly demising from the boy lying beside her now was in fact the exact opposite, still she found herself smiling at the thought of every single one of those Nathan's; she found herself smiling purely at the thought of him.

'I bet Lily had a blast building this.' Nathan said then.

'She loved it.' Haley smiled as she glanced back at the ceiling before she spoke. 'After my dad left, Vivian and I… we built this big forth in our living room like this and we brought mum down to it because we knew she didn't want to sleep in that big bed alone.' Haley recounted softly. 'We held mum's hand and we read her favourite story…'The Three Muskateers'.' Haley said softly swallowing the sadness in her throat.

Several seconds of silence passed between them again as Nathan let her words settle inside of him. 'It was the night of the NCAA championship…' Nathan began softly. 'Our second year as Duke Blue Devils.' He shared. 'I was usually the more heedless one of us two but I couldn't drink that night, I was flying out to Lucas in UNC the next day and god I think I was so high on the euphority of it all I didn't even need a touch of alcohol.'

Haley felt her heart hammering away in her chest as she listened to every word dropping from his lips. 'Jake drank a lot, he usually wouldn't but he was planning on asking Peyton to marry him that weekend and he was nervous as hell.' Nathan smiled at the memory before an anguished expression took hold of him. 'He told me it all, how he was going to ask her, what their lives were going to look like…all of it…'

Haley felt her fingers instinctively move across the cotton throw to find Nathan's, barely grazing them as he spoke.

'We decided to take our celebrations off campus that night, we'd usually go to Duke's blue bar on campus. Anyway Jake left the party early that night, this river runs right through the town and he was pretty drunk so I convinced him to just get a cab.' Nathan's breath caught a little on that last word and Haley not so subtly linked her hand with his this time.

Nathan glanced down at their slightly joined hands feeling her touch calming him despite every single nerve in his body struggling to get this out. 'He fought me on it…' Nathan admitted quietly then. 'He said he wanted to go over his engagement speech in his head on his walk home…I mean he was pretty wasted at that stage Hales so I just told him wouldn't getting home to Peyton quicker be better than going over that speech….and well he never made it home to Peyton.' Nathan admitted almost inaudibly then.

Tears were leaking from her eyes now as her fingers subconsciously drew comforting circles in the palm of his hand. 'It wasn't your fault, you were looking out for him.'

'I kept asking myself would he have made it had I just let him walk?' Nathan said. 'I asked myself that for months, sometimes I still do.'

'Maybe you protected him from something far worse, maybe he could have drowned and the last moments of his life would have been screaming for help. I mean I don't know what happened with the car but at least you can hold onto the fact that his last thought was that he was going home to Peyton…'

'I guess..' Nathan choked out.

Haley swallowed hard, her throat was aching with sadness. 'Is that why you stopped playing?'

'I quit basketball when dad died. I just….it was too raw, every single memory of basketball was me and dad. But Jake boy was he relentless, he wouldn't stop until I picked up the ball again…he told me that I was only paralysing my grief he said if I played it would be a way I could still feel connected to my dad, in spirit somehow…I know it sounds crazy.'

'It sounds magical.' Haley countered softly as she turned onto her side noticing Nathan was still staring up at the fairy lights.

'After Jake I just lost it Haley….' He admitted softly. He heard her snuffle then as she let go of his hand to wipe the leaking tears. On instinct he shuffled onto his side too noticing the tears leaking from her eyes now. 'Don't cry…'

She could have smiled at his automatic bossy tone then as she wiped her eyes. 'I'm allowed cry you just told me a really sad story and I'm pregnant..' She countered.

Only Haley could actually make him smile despite the words that had just left him and while he felt painfully absorbed from the memories of it all in ways he also felt soothed and he knew it was all because of the girl lying beside him, she always managed to make him smile despite himself, despite it all.

Their eyes met, holding each other's hers now. Nathan instinctively moved his body towards her, smiling softy as Haley did the same, as though they were pulled by something much larger than themselves. They survived on a shared breath now as their heads inched forward, mouths drew closer, as the heat from their bodies became one…

'Oww…' Haley flinched as she held her tummy and Nathan drew back from her.

'What…are you ok? Is it the baby?' He fumbled in a complete fluster then as he actually felt his cheeks heat at the thought of what almost happened between them.

'It's ok…he's just he's really kicking…' She said in complete surprise at the feel of it, her mouth was wide now, her wide eyes dancing in excitement.

'He's kicking…' Nathan said as he glanced at her tummy then back towards her excited eyes. His hand that had been on her waist automatically moved before he paused almost seeking her permission.

Haley nodded excitedly wanting him to feel it as she moved her own hand so he could feel it. Nathan's surprised eyes met hers then as he felt it and the most loveliest laugh fell from his lips.

Haleys heart just sky rocketed even further.

'Wow he's really going for it isn't he?' Nathan chuckled.

Haley nodded as she felt him moving inside of her again. 'It feels so weird.'

'What's going on?' Lily said sleepily her head dipping over the edge of her sleeping bag.

'Hey sleepy-head.' Nathan smiled at the face his little sister was pulling.

'You and Haley were making lots of noise. You should be sleeping.' Lily yawned her eyes already fluttering closed again.

Nathan chuckled at her. 'Ok you little bossy boots we're going to bed now. Go back to sleep.'

'I love you.' She mumbled tiredly

'Love you too Lils.' Nathan said before he glanced back at Haley who was giggling away to herself.

'What are you laughing at now?'

'Karen was right she is so like you.' Haley teased.

'What do you mean?' Nathan whispered as he lay back down on his side.

'Grumpy and bossy.' Haley said pinching her face playfully at him.

'Funny Hales.' Nathan shot back at her. 'Well you seemed to like hanging out with my sister for the evening.'

'Ah she has her moments…' Haley teased.

'And what about me?'

'You have your moments too.'

'Nathan. Haley…' Lily whisper shouted at them.

Nathan and Haley just shook their heads smiling at each other. 'I can't believe we are being told off by an 8 year old.' Nathan said.

'I know, I guess we should get some sleep.' Haley said as she reached across switching off the main fairy lights inside their little abode just leaving a string of lights on at the entrance.

'Night Hales.' He whispered softly then, his eyes still seeking her own.

'Night Nathan.' Haley expelled softly wondering when her heart would stop racing.

XXXXX

'You can stop looking at me like that now.' Haley said rather bemused as she continued to unpack and fold her clothes away.

'Like what?' Brooke said completely innocently.

'Like I'm trying to hide something from you.' Haley said with a pointed look.

'Finee….I just I expected a minor Haley James freak attack you know…'

'You got a tub of that peanut caramel ice cream and you just really want it don't you?' Haley teased.

Brooke just pouted at her. 'You don't know me Haley James.'

'Oh I think I do Brooke Davis.' Haley cheered.

'Fine.' Brooke relented just like Haley knew she would as she left her bedroom and not even 10 seconds later came back in with said tub and hopped onto Haley's bed sitting cross legged. 'I did expect some kind of freak out though…this is even weirder, you seem….I don't know content or just you seem more like you…' Brooke said softly.

Haley smiled. 'I feel more like me.' She admitted. 'Its like I just dropped the illusions Brooke, so I'm not having a baby with a guy I'm in the perfect relationship with and it's not how I would have desired it to be but mum had all that and in the end she still raised us alone and she's always being incredible and inspiring in my eyes for doing so.' Haley said heartily. 'But I not only have my mother, I have you and I have Nathan's family and god Brooke they're amazing….i'm telling you hold onto Lucas you're in with something good there.' She teased softly but Brooke could literally feel the realness behind her words.

'You know it scares me when you say that Haley…' Brooke said light heartily too but the realness also so prominent behind her words.

Haley smiled. 'I know but can I just say seen as I have been hogging all the attention around here with this baby…'

'Which is very unlike you.' Brooke mused.

'True.' Haley said as both girls laughed. 'But this is the happiest I've seen you in a long time and while I felt so far away from myself there for ages I looked at you and I also felt inspired to feel that way again..'

'You're gonna make me cry…'

'I haven't stopped crying.' Haley said actually feeling her eyes water again.

'Anyone ever tell you you're kinda inspiring Haley James..' Brooke said knowingly then and Haley just smiled at her. 'Cause you are, hell we both know how I would have handled this situation but you've taken soemthing difficult and challenging and just turned it into something that has the potential to be really great.'

'Thanks Brooke.' Haley said softly as her eyes watered.

'God look now I am crying and my eyeliner is going to water and I'm meant to be meeting Luke.'

'Meeting Luke tonight?' Haley said amused by this new development. 'Its 9pm we just got back and you're meeting him tonight.'

'I've got it bad Haley, I've got it really bad.'

'You know just the once…' She teased. 'I think you've got it really good.'

Brooke smiled just as her phone started ringing through Haley's bedroom. 'That's him now. I gotta go,seen as I'm leaving you and you just got back let's make tomorrow a classic Brooke and Haley day.' Brooke frowned then. 'Or maybe from noon you know cause I may stay over..'

'From noon onwards you tell Luke you're all mine.' Haley teased. 'Now go see lover boy.'

Haley was still smiling to herself as her bubbly friend bounced out of the room talking about the new cream black lace set Lucas was going to love, so she didn't need to know that but oversharing was a talent of Brooke's. Haley folded the last of her clothes away before slipping into her knicks tshirt that no longer felt so baggy over her protruding stomach anymore as she searched for her hair tie. She just tossed her hair into its signature bun when her phone started vibrating on her bedside locker.

Frowning Haley went over to it not recognising the number she answered unsurely. 'Hello?'

'Hey.' Nathan's smooth voice came through the phone.

Haley found herself smiling on instinct. 'Oh hey.' She said easily. 'I didn't recognise the number.'

'I'm ringing off mum's landline so if she catches us we're in trouble…' Nathan mused.

'Us?' Haley frowned.

'Lily wanted…..'

'Goodnight Haley…' Lily said into the phone.

Haley couldn't help but giggle as she heard Nathan's ratty voice telling his sister off for taking the phone out of his hands.

'Night Lily. Tell your brother I told him to stop being mean to you.'

'She said stop being such a jerk.' Lily said to her brother.

'Lily..' Haley admonished her on the phone.

'Sorry Lucas said it to him this morning.' Lily replied. 'We miss you Haley, my big brother really misses you.' She giggled.

'Give me that…' Nathan said to his sister. More scuffling and his voice came back through the phone.'I told you you should have taken her back with you.'

Haley just giggled at that. God how he missed that laugh. Had it really just being 9 hours?

'What you kick her out of the room?' Haley said then noticing how quiet it went on the other line.

'Just went upstairs, I told her the line dropped.'

'You're terrible.' Haley said with a soft laugh as she peeled back the covers to her bed knocking off the lamp and cosying herself under the duvet. 'So you miss me huh?' She couldn't help but tease him.

'You know I actually kind of do, it's oddily quiet without your snoring.'

Haley scoffed. 'I do not and have never snored in my life….except once on like a long haul flight and I was ill might I add…'

Nathan just chuckled at her rambling. 'You were snoring and spitting.'

'Yea well at least I'm not sleeping huddled into a tent tonight' Haley teased him the hairs raising on her arm as his husky laugh came through the phone again.

'Well whos going to keep you warm?'

'Trust me our son seems to have the remote turned all the way up on temperature control.'

Nathan smiled at her words. Our son. 'How is the little fella he still kicking?'

'He was a little earlier he seems to be asleep now.'

'That's good. He's definitely tired you out lately.'

'Hmm…' She sighed contentednly. 'I enjoyed this weekend Nathan thanks for letting me spend time with your family.'

'I enjoyed it too.' He said honestly. 'I guess I should let you go…' She could of sworn she heard reluctance in his tone or else she wanted to so badly her brain was conjuring it up.

'Or you could keep me…' Haley said somewhat shyly. 'I feel kind of lonely now, that's silly I know but I'm just lying here in bed with the blinds thrown up looking out at the city.'

Nathan smiled at her words. 'That actually sounds nice.'

'Do you ever get the feeling that everythings better at night Nathan?'

He wanted to tell her he wasn't sure what she meant, to downplay the aura that they were so in tune with each other for his own sake knowing it was the safest way to play things. It was how he was supposed to do things but as her soft voice drifted through the phone again he once again was powerless.

'Nathan…' Haley prodded softly then wondering if he'd been drifting to sleep on the line.

'Yea I think everything is.' His soft admittance came through the phone.

She smiled at his words. 'Can you talk to me until I fall asleep…you'll know when I start snoring.' She kidded as Nathan smiled.

'Sure what do you want to talk about?'

'Tell me about Jake.' Haley said softly knowing with the clarity of the dark hours also came healing.