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Chapter 22: No choice

Gray looks at me while he screams. There are no words, just sounds from his throat.

I don't know what to do. I'm holding Erza in my arms and I'm afraid to put her down, because the mud creature might get her too, but Gray is being drained of his magic right in front of me.

I turn to the mud creature. 'Stop! Stop it!'

Gray's screams are getting weaker and I'm just standing there, pressing Erza against me. The tentacle stays wrapped around Gray's leg. His eyes roll back into his head.

'Hey!' I yell at the mud creature. 'I said stop! I'm here, let him go!'

There's now only gurgling coming from Gray and I feel his magical presence dimming. His hair turns a dirty shade of dark grey and his skin is as pale as the moon.

My breathing fastens. 'Stop! You have to stop!'

For some reason the mud creature is not talking now. Gray's face falls into the dirt. And I can just hear my heart skipping a beat.

The tentacle is pulled back, but it's far too late. Gray is gone, just like Natsu, but this one stings way more, because, well...it's Gray. My first friend within Fairy Tail, the theatre kid who annoyed the hell out of me.

When he lies face down in front of me, completely drained, I forget about what I decided before. I'm not in battle mode anymore. I just snap.

Each time I blink I see something different. First there are flames, next two dark arms erupt out of nowhere and shoot towards the mud creature. Claws with sharp nails try grabbing it, but the thing is barely solid, there's nothing to hold on to. I hear growling and I'm not sure if that's coming from me or the creature.

'Prince Riku,' says a voice then, and it sounds again in my head. 'I see I have your attention.'

The mud creature moves around the black claws, it's kind of all over the place, and then comes together to form the pile it was before. I then realize the black arms are made of flames, and they've sprouted out of my back, like my wings. My own arms, my human arms, are still holding Erza.

I want to reach for the mud creature again, but the flames resist. They're not listening to me, not because they take a liking to the mud creature. They've noticed how weak I am. Now would be a good time as ever to attempt a takeover. When I force them towards the mud creature, the flames just turn around and rush at me.

Before they can push me out of my own body I make them disappear, which I succeed at easily. It's like my mother said: they're getting weaker, and with that impatient.

I fall to my knees, still pressing the unconscious Erza against me. The mud creature is talking to me, but I don't hear what it says. My eyes find the drained Gray and I just feel defeated.

And without thinking, I start whispering. 'Mom. Mom, please. You have to do something.'

The mud creature falls silent.

I'm too exhausted. I can't even sense a spark of the golden magic. Not only that: if I want to transfer some of it over to Gray just like I did with Natsu, I have to use my hands, meaning I have to let go of Erza. I can't do that, the creature will get her too.

'Mom,' I whisper again, 'please do the thing. I don't know why, but you understand, right?'

There's no answer. Instead, the mud creature speaks again. 'Prince Riku, all is not lost. Listen to what I have to say, and your friend-'

When I interrupt him, my voice does not sound like my own. It sounds like a million agonizing voices all screaming at once. A demonic voice that suits dark magic. 'Give him back!'

Though I can't read off any expression, the mud creature seems taken aback. Then it says: 'That I cannot do. Your friends' magic has travelled over to the Emperor.'

If I had listened to what it said before I might've understood what that meant, but in that moment it sounded like crap.

I turn my attention back to my mother. At first the sentences that leave my mouth are sort of understandable, but the longer I try the more disrupted my begging becomes: 'Mom mom mom you have to help him give him some of our magic I did it with Natsu and he's somehow alive until we get back his magic this is Gray he is my friend and I-I-I need him because he is my friend but I can't do it because Erza this is Erza she and I have to talk to each other about Mystogan and Simon you don't know them but the flowers and the trees and Shô said he knew me but what about the thing with the gross feathers and you know the mask that scares me at night….' And so on. It's panic without the flames and now that I've experienced it I don't think either is worse. Though there is one person who's succeeded in calming me in both cases.

I'm in the middle of telling my mother how I stubbed my toe that one time when I was ten when a fist is jammed into my jaw. My face is thrown back and I nearly fall over. I feel a piece of tooth floating in my mouth and taste the iron of blood, but I'm thankful she did it.

Erza frees herself from my arms and rubs the back of her head with the same hand she just punched me with. 'Are you back?'

I blink a few times and lie. 'Yes.' I already feel myself slipping back into it. 'Erza, I'm so sorry. I thought I could save both of you.'

She just then notices the drained Gray. Anger crosses her face and she glares at the mud creature. Even though she just woke up after getting knocked unconscious, she's still in battle mode. 'That thing did it?'

Before she can stand up I grab her arm. 'Don't attack it. It will take you too and I can't-'

She pulls herself free from my grip and looks at me with what I can only describe as disgust. 'Riku, get yourself together.'

I don't know what's wrong with me. I went from not understanding a single thing about family to having a mental breakdown. I'm not used to this. Erza, however, knows that panicking won't help anyone. Our friends are out cold and we're the only ones who can help them.

Instead of doing some breathing exercises and getting my focus back like I usually do, I crawl towards the body of Gray. I turn him on his back and his skin feels awfully cold. His face is so blank it seemed it never smiled, or chuckled.

I can't get caught up in such a detail. I place my hands on Gray's chest. Erza stands beside me, with a sword drawn, keeping a close eye on the mud creature, so I feel secure enough to search for the golden magic within me.

By the time I've succeeded in transferring some magic over to Gray I'm sweating as much as I did this morning, but I refuse to pass out. I wobble to my feet, unsheath my sword and join Erza in glaring at the mud creature.

As if it waited for me to be finished, it says: 'Prince Riku, that is a very remarkable technique.'

I don't feel flattered in the slightest. I turn to Erza. 'Can you hear it too?'

'No. What is it saying?'

'It keeps calling me "Prince".'

'What? Why?'

I haven't had the chance to tell Erza that Jellal called me "prince" as well. I don't think I even mentioned that you made yourself "king". There's no time to explain it all, so I say: 'I'm not sure, but its boss is looking for me.'

As if it's part of the conversation, the mud creature says: 'Correct. The Emperor has invited you to the palace and I am to take you there at any cost.'

"At any cost" meaning Natsu and Gray are just collateral damage. Even though I'm exhausted I feel anger rising in my stomach. 'This Emperor has their magic, right?'

Erza gives me a quick glance. She still can't hear the voice of the mud creature, she has to figure out the conversation from my side only. 'Emperor? Gajeel said there was no government in Bosco.'

'Indeed he does,' answers the mud creature, ignoring Erza, 'and if I may offer some advice, my lord, I think it best in the favor of your friends to accept this invitation.'

In my head that translates to "the only way to save Natsu and Gray is to go to this stupid palace to meet this stupid Emperor". And it seems I'm the only one who's invited.

'What is it?' Erza asks.

I answer without looking at her, because I know she won't like what I'll say. 'If I meet with this Emperor I can get the magic back.'

As expected, I feel her magical presence growing. She's preparing for an attack, despite my warning earlier.

With my tired brain I quickly calculate the odds of us winning against this monster. I couldn't grab it with the flames, it just liquified the moment I got too close. We could perhaps capture it, stuff it in some bottles, but what's next? If what it said about Gray and Natsu's magic is true, we'll have nothing, except, maybe, a little bit of revenge.

Erza isn't the type of person to take revenge, but she still intends to fight and I don't know why. Looking back, I'd say that underneath the facade of battle mode she was freaking out a little.

As if the creature is listening in on what both me and Erza are thinking, it says: 'I cannot tell you what the intentions of the Emperor are. I can, however, assure you there is a way to heal your friends, since you have put a protection spell over their hearts. If the lady-'

'Hold on,' I interrupt, because something doesn't add up. 'You said that if I met up with your Emperor I could save them. Now you're telling me that is only the case because I used my own magic?'

The mud creature doesn't answer.

'You had no idea what I could do,' I continue, 'and I only used my magic after you attacked Natsu. Would you still have told me I could save him and Gray if I hadn't used it, meaning you'd be telling a lie to lure me to your Emperor? Is what you're telling me now the truth?'

Before, I thought the mud creature just made a mistake when it took Natsu instead of me, now I'm not so sure anymore. It seems it would tell me I could save him and Gray if I came to the palace regardless if that was true or not, and I would only find out about the lie once I was already inside the palace.

Yet the creature is now saying I created a possibility to save them myself by using the golden magic. He's telling me I screwed up his plan, but that could be a lie as well. If his orders were to take me to the palace at any cost, he'll just promise me the entire world if it means I'll agree to go to the palace.

This is all very confusing and makes my head hurt, but there's just one more thing I don't understand. I'm exhausted; the creature could take me on easily. It could drain me of magic and drag me to the palace himself. He had this opportunity earlier when Erza was still out. Why didn't it attack me then? Was there another order saying it couldn't hurt me? If that's the case, then I am somehow of value to this Emperor.

All of this makes way more sense now that I'm sitting in front of you, but I'd like to give you a taste of the confusion I was in. And I almost want to congratulate you on this scheme you started more than a hundred years ago, but since it involves my own life I'd rather not.

When the mud creature finally responds he speaks calmly, as if he anticipated I would see through this plot. 'I understand your confusion, prince Riku. I was indeed surprised by your ability. It has certainly complicated the situation. Thanks to you, the draining of your friends could not be completed, since they are still alive. Their magic is still connected to them, it cannot be consumed fully. As of now, there are two options: either the Emperor returns the magic, or you release the spells you put on your friends and let the draining be completed. Personally I cannot picture you picking the second option, though that does not matter in the end. In either case, you have to meet with the Emperor.'

Even if I found a hole in the plot of the mud creature, the result is the same. I lower my sword.

There aren't any people around we can go to for help, not for miles. None of us who are left know anything about properly transferring magical power, or at least enough to save a person like Natsu or Gray. I sensed earlier there must be some kind of time limit to how long both of them can remain in the state they're in. They need their magic quick, or they will die.

'Damnit,' I mumble.

I have to meet with this Emperor and there is no guarantee I'll be able to leave afterwards. This person wants something from me.

I force myself to look at Erza, who has watched my face closely for several minutes now. Her battle mode is slightly cracking. I can't imagine what she's feeling right now. She organized this journey and under her leadership two of our friends have been injured. The crucial information she had about Bosco turned out to be false and the person this whole adventure revolves around is about to leave for what is very likely to be a trap.

'No,' she simply says, 'you can't. I'm not letting you.'

If it was the other way around, I wouldn't let her go either.

I glance shortly at the unconscious Gray. I feel the golden magic working on his insides, keeping him alive, ready to receive his own magic. I think about Happy and Lucy, who are still sitting beside Natsu on the cliff.

Sure, this adventure was about me, but the shitshow it turned into is because of me. A few years before that idea would've shrivelled any confidence I had. I'd tell myself that once again I ruin everything around me. I would've blatantly sacrificed myself.

Now I know that isn't enough. Even if I succeed in saving Gray and Natsu, they would never forgive me for how I did it. Erza wouldn't.

So I tell her: 'Wait for me. Take Gray to the cliff and wait.'

I feel her magic fading. 'You can't go alone-'

'I have to,' I say, 'that person needs me for something. I'm just going over there to negotiate.'

Erza scoffs and lets her sword disappear. 'That monster is treacherous, you just called it out yourself. What if this Emperor-'

'Fine,' I interrupt once again, 'if you haven't heard from me by midnight, come look for me. Just clog your nose, otherwise you'll get cursed again.'

She turns her eyes to the ground.

During all this the mud creature is just patiently waiting at the other end of the clearing. Though it doesn't have eyes, I know it's looking at us.

'Riku,' says Erza then, almost whispering, 'are you sure you'll be there before midnight?'

No.

'Yes,' I say, 'I will come back. And when I do, I won't leave again. Ever.'

She still doesn't lift her eyes. Her gloved hands are folded in fists, they're shaking. I start to suspect she'll hit me again, but she changes her mind at the very last second. She relaxes her hands and all tension leaves her body through a sigh.

There are no tears, no hugs or kisses. She kneels down beside Gray and throws his drained body with scaringly ease over her shoulder.

'Prince Riku,' says the mud creature then, 'you might want to tell your friend she will find the cliff by going East.'

I look at the pile of mud and don't say anything. Then it adds: 'My lord, you have decided to meet with the Emperor, have you not?'

I don't answer.

'Then I have no reason to trick you or your friend,' the creature says then, 'tell her to go East.'

I stare at the creature some more. Erza hasn't left just yet, she noticed there's a silent conversation going on again.

I tell her the mud creature said to go East.

'I see,' she simply says. 'I will take it into consideration.'

And without saying anything else, she disappears between the trees. I watch until I can't see her red hair anymore and I think about all the problems I just created. I have no idea if I'll make it to the cliff tonight, I just had to say something to make her leave. I didn't want her to get drained too. She'll be pissed at me for this afterwards, but I guess we'll just stack that on top of our other problems.

I sigh, put my sword back in the holster on my back and fall to my knees. Adrenaline has kept me on my feet till now and it's wearing off. I have no contact with the golden magic, the muscles in my arms and legs are sore and I haven't eaten since this morning.

'Prince,' says the mud creature, sounding a bit worried, 'allow me.'

I look over my shoulder. The pile of mud has shapeshifted, on the exact same spot now stands a horse carriage (without a horse) made out of clay, the fancy kind rich people drive around in, except with a horse and not made out of clay. The door on the side swings open.

I don't have the energy to be surprised, amazed or disgusted. Already half unconscious I get back on my feet and walk over. I hesitate to enter, because it is still the mud creature. I don't know where its eyes or mouth or anything are, but when I touch the clay it feels solid.

I eventually step inside, sit down and nearly have a heart attack when I notice someone sitting on the opposite bench. It's a man made out of the same kind of clay, wearing a top hat and a clay suit.

'Apologies, prince,' the man says, although his mouth does not move. 'I did not mean to alarm you.'

This is the human form of the mud creature.

The door closes and the carriage starts to move on its own, the clay wheels roll through the grass and forest paths easily. The clay man gives me a very unsettling smile. 'Rest easy, prince Riku. We will arrive shortly.'

I have no idea what that means. I just lean back and close my eyes for a little while. If the clay man wasn't there I probably would've cried.

Somewhere during my nap I noticed my sword was poking in my back and I leaned off to the side, pressing my face against the clay door, just beneath the window. The clay man wakes me up by saying "prince Riku" in my mind over and over again.

I sit up straight, blink a few times, rub my eyes, and just then hear the cheers. I look out the window and see a crowd of people. When the ones standing closest to the carriage notice me they scream even louder.

'What...the hell?' I say. I turn to the clay man, who's still sitting opposite of me. He lifts one clay arm and points with his hand at the door, urging me to step out.

I look out the window again. There's a red carpet on the ground, the crowd of people stands on either side of it, creating a pathway I'm supposed to walk. I can't see what's on the other side yet.

'Prince Riku,' says the clay man, 'welcome to Underlind.'

I'm not fully awake yet, so I just say: 'What?'

The door of the carriage now swings open itself and I can hear the cheers of the crowd even louder, but I still manage to hear the clay man say: 'The capital of Bosco.'

And the shithead doesn't give me time to be confused. The bench I'm sitting on launches me onto the red carpet. I thankfully land on my feet, though I don't doubt the people in the crowd would be happy enough to help me up if I'd fallen.

The carriage behind me drives away and I'm left there, by myself, facing thousands of people. All of them seem ecstatic to see me and I have no idea why. Some are crying, a few faint. My name is being chanted. 'Prince Riku! Prince Riku!'

I take a step and the crowd cheers even louder, as if I performed a miracle. Each time I turn to look at one side of the crowd the other begs me to look their way again.

Being the centre of attention was never my thing and this had to be my worst nightmare. I just shut down my ears for a while and instead enhanced my eyes.

There's a stone wall behind me, I don't see an entrance. I have no idea how the carriage got in here.

The wall is about fifty metres high, I can't see anything that's behind it, not even through the cracks. The wall goes on for I don't know how long, I can't see the end of it on either side. When I look beyond the crowd I see a mountain. The whole reason Erza organised this adventure was because of a mountain where you supposedly used to live, but the one I'm looking at doesn't look like the kind of mountain I pictured you living inside of. This mountain has a city built into it. All the roads are sloping and meet at the top, where the palace is located. From where I'm standing I see the palace has six towers and all of them disappear halfway into the clouds.

I'm not even at the foot of the mountain. Going all the way up, crossing the city and the screaming people will take me all day. I'm not even sure I can do it, the nap I took in the carriage made me even more tired.

But I have no choice. Everything depends on what I do here, so I keep on walking.

By now you probably know I hate you, but I'll spare you the agony I felt while I climbed up to the palace anyway.

When I finally see the gates I'm wheezing. I have no idea how much time has passed, all I know is that the sun is out, so there's still time to meet back with Erza. The last few steps I see her face in my mind.

Then I'm through the gate. I'm standing in what I think is a courtyard, the palace surrounds it like a circle. The yard itself is so neatly kept it feels I'm walking into a painting: every single stone seems placed perfectly where it needs to be, the stripes of grass interrupting the stone square is evenly trimmed, the flowers are all turned upright to face the sun.

It's absolutely disgusting.

The gate closes behind me and I feel secure enough to open my ears again. The cheers of the crowd now sound muffled and that gives me room to breathe.

There's no turning back now.

Opposite of the gate I see steps leading into the palace. I take a breath, pretend it's not a sigh and walk up to it. The doors are wide open, the palace itself seems just as excited about my arrival as the crowd outside.

The inside is, as you know, boring. The walls are perfectly solved puzzles of gray bricks and the floors are so clean they're almost see-through. It has that same neatness the courtyard has, nothing of the mountain itself has remained.

Every few metres I encounter a painting on the wall of some stoic looking person. I don't bother learning their names from the tiny cards next to the frames.

After a few minutes of walking around and turning corners I realize I haven't seen a single person yet. No maids or lackeys, or knights, or whatever other kinds of people walk around a palace.

Then, out of nowhere, I hear this voice in my head. Its presence feels exactly the same as the flames', but I somehow know it's not them. This voice triggers something inside of me, something so horrible it's almost on par with how I respond to the sound of train brakes.

Because it's your voice.

I stop walking. I stop breathing. I stand there in what I now believe to be your palace.

And I just start laughing. It starts out a chuckle but grows into a kind of bellowing that doesn't fit a skinny dude like me. My entire body shudders because of it, I fall to the side and lean with my shoulder against the perfect wall.

No matter how hard I try to be better than you and these flames, I won't ever get rid of you. Everything shit that's ever happened to me is all caused by you, even the outcome of this shitty adventure. I came to Bosco thinking the "rumors" about you were fake. I had no intention of meeting you face to face, ever.

But you don't care about what I want, do you? You're the Dragon King, and now apparently also the Emperor of Bosco, a country that's not supposed to have a government.

You stomped in there, fed the people, made yourself the leader and waited till the time was right to come get me. You would send your magician mud monster after me and finally continue what you started a hundred years ago, when you murdered my parents and made me your "prince".

But you hadn't anticipated that I'd show up myself, and that's the most infuriating of this whole thing. I actually made things easier for you, even walked into the palace myself. I practically gave myself up and I didn't even know it.

Why did I ever think the Emperor was someone else? No one but you, Jellal and the old man from Snow Town know me as "prince".

I let myself slide down along the wall till I'm half lying on the ground, but I haven't stopped laughing at my own stupidity. I knew it was a trap. I called out the mud monster myself for screwing up.

Yet here I am.

The voice, your voice, that sounds inside my head tells me to look for two red doors at the end of a corridor. I don't get up right away.

My laughter eventually dies out. I just think: everything is screwed. There's no way I'm getting out of here. Gray and Natsu will die and I'll never get to see Erza again.

I sit there a few minutes longer. My mind gets less clouded and I can think a little better. Not much, but a decent amount considering the situation. I have a million questions, but this one seems the most urgent: what do you want from me?

Of course I know that now. I'm just saying it to explain why I got back on my feet.

Remember what I said earlier? Even before I knew I would meet you on this adventure I made a promise to myself to get rid of everything that bothers me. I would fix strained relationships, build new ones, enjoy life. I didn't believe I would be free of you and your flames; I wanted to create a different kind of freedom.

I didn't want to meet you face to face, but I had no choice. So I might as well make the most of it.

I get up, wipe the sweat, snot and spit off my face, and start looking for the red doors. I prepare myself for the worst.

All this happened on this exact day, one year ago. A meeting neither of us saw coming, a meeting that didn't fit in with your plans. So you told me to come back a year later.

And here I am, telling you about my life.

But to end my story here would feel a bit rushed, right? And besides: that first meeting doesn't really count, because only part of you was present in the palace.

For the sake of narrative, I'll just tell you how I experienced that conversation. And what I've been doing this past year, of course.

Just a quick message for the people who are reading along with the updates: I try to upload every other week, but at the moment my (writing) schedule is a bit flooded. As I've planned it out now, this story will end around chapter 30-35 and in order to answer all questions properly and to give Riku the ending he deserves, writing the new chapters takes a bit more time than usual. I will, of course, try my best to update frequently, but please understand if it takes me longer. That's all :)