CHAPTER 11 – Know Your Worth – Bella's POV
"And then she said, 'You may call me Rosalie.'"
"Let me guess, you died right there?" Leah joked as she tossed another dart. It landed with a smack right on the bullseye. They were in the Black's garage waiting on the boys to finish getting ready so they could all head down to First Beach.
"Absolutely. Deceased. Do not resuscitate." Bella said from her upside-down, prone position on the beanbag chair. "Like, I'm not even sure if she was serious. I think it's a trap."
"Trap? Why would it be a trap?" Leah asked turning away from the board to look at Bella's pathetic form. "Didn't she say that she wanted y'all to be friends?"
"I don't know man!" Bella's voice squawking up an octave. "Listen, have you seen her? Have you seen me? Like I have a healthy sense of self confidence and all, but she's so pretty it hurts to look at her cause its' like looking at the sun."
Leah turned around and just stared at Bella with her head tilted for a long moment. "Swan. I swear to all that is holy. If you talk shit about my best friend one more time, I'm going to chuck this dart at you."
"Yeah, yeah." Bella said making a dismissive gesture with her hand. "Promises, promises. Remember that time you said you would throw me off of the dock and then you chickened out because Charlie was there?"
"Sometimes, I'm convinced that if I didn't love you so much, I would murder you." Leah grumbled, throwing another dart.
"But now, you're stuck with me." Bella sing-songed, sitting upright. "Oh! I forgot to mention. Thank you for the book recommendation! I don't think I would've picked it up on my own, but it was honestly really enjoyable. Do you have any more?"
"Oh yeah! I'm so glad that you liked it." Leah smirked looking over her shoulder. "If you liked that one, then you're going to love this next one. It's called Carmilla and it's like Dracula but make it gayer."
"What is it with you and vampires? I didn't know that you were so into them?" Bella asked.
"What? You tryna tell me you don't think vampires are mysterious and sexy? I'm trying to make sure that you have a robust queer education. In Victorian England, that means gay vampires."
"What about gay vampires?" Seth said bouncing in. Jacob trailed in pulling on his sleeveless hoodie. He and Leah exchanged looks, before she answered.
"Nothing. I was just educating Bella about how the only gay characters in Victorian times seemed to be vampires." She said throwing her last dart.
"How interesting." Jacob drawled. "Can we go now? Bella promised that there would be hot girls at this bon fire."
"Before we go, Bella, we wanted to give you something." Jacob said grabbing something from behind his work bench. He walked over and handed her a box, ignoring the beginnings of her protests.
"Guys! You know I hate gift!" Bella crowed holding tightly to the box. It was beautifully wrapped and had her name written on the attached card. She took a glance at it and saw that it was signed by the rest of the pack and some of the Elders. "I'm scared to even open this box."
"Leah noticed that your riding jacket looked like it was hanging on by a thread, so we all thought that we would chip in and get you one that would have staying power." Seth excitedly assured. "We promise that it didn't cost much, and we all chipped in to help! My mom even sewed it together and you know how devastated she would be if you didn't accept it."
"Fuuuuuck." She turned on Leah. "You let them let Sue get involved with this? You know I can't say no to that woman."
Leah shrugged her shoulders but didn't look guilty at all. "We know that your birthday just passed, and we wanted you to have something that would always remind you of us. Think of it as a symbol of us and you being a part of our family."
"Now, please open it cause the annnnnnnnnnticipation is killing me." Jacob pestered.
"I let you watch Rocky Horror ONE time, and you use it against me?" Bella deflected. Jacob just raised an eyebrow at her and Leah crossed her arms. It was Seth's puppy dog eyes that were her downfall. 'I should've known better than to look right into them. The boys worse than Alice when it comes to weaponizing a pout.'
"Fine! I'll do it, but this is not what I meant when I said we need to unify against a common oppressor." Bella grumbled. "I was talking about Quil hoarding all the hotdogs."
She opened the lid of the box and gasped. Inside was the supplest leather jacket she had ever seen. Sue had outdone herself in the delicate stitching and had even taken the time to stitch Bella's name over the left side "Member's Only" style. She tearfully looked up to see that Jacob and Leah had matching smiles.
"Mom said I could get one when I turned sixteen!" Seth proudly proclaimed. "I'm fifteen and a half so watch out!" Leah ruffled his hair as she put on her jacket.
"Go ahead, Bells! Try it on so we can see the handiwork." Jacob smiled as he shrugged his on as well. "Can't let all of Sue's hard work go to waste. She specifically requested a picture of the three of us wearing it."
"I'm actually going to start crying guys." Bella whimpered as she slid on the jacket. "You guys are the best and this is the best and and…"
"Shh just put it on and let us love you." Leah said. "Think about how hot we're going to look coming out of those kickboxing classes you signed us up for. Rosalie won't know what hit her!" Bella could see tiny stitching of a wolf on Leah's right shoulder.
Bella just looked at each one of them. "I love you. Thank you for being the most amazing family that I could ever hope for." In a quieter voice, "I'm sorry that I ever left."
Jacob came up to her and picked her up in a surprise bear hug that somehow turned into a dogpile. "You're here now and that's all that matters." He said from the bottom of the pile.
"Now, everyone get off of me before I choose violence." Leah informed them. "Plus, don't forget that picture for mom! Alright everyone line up on the couch and I'll set the timer."
She placed the phone against a few half-filled soda cans and ran back to lay across their laps. "Everyone PLEASE look like you like each other because I only want to do this once."
Their smiles were wide and the flash blinded them, but Leah seemed satisfied with the picture. "great! Just sent that to mom. Now, let's go because I've been thinking about hot dogs ever since you brought it up."
"Your appetite's been gnarly lately, you goin through a second puberty this early?" Bella joked standing up from the couch.
"Bella don't you know it's not wise to question a lady about her food intake?" Leah questioned putting Bella in gentle headlock.
"But she didn't ask a lady, Leah. She asked you." Seth said. It took him a moment to realize what he said before taking off towards the car in fear for his life, Leah two steps behind him.
"We're never going to get there, are we?" Jacob asked shaking his head.
"Define 'never.'" Bella answered. "Like never in forever or like never, never?"
He picked her up fireman style and walked to the waiting cars with her shrieking along the way.
"Bella! You made it and you brought friends!" Jessica greeted as she got up from her place by the fire pit to greet them.
"Hi Jess! I sure did! These guys are my family, I can't leave them anywhere. This is Jacob, Leah, and Seth. Guys, meet Jess she's the coolest future valedictorian you'll ever meet." Bella finished with a smile as everyone nodded to Jessica in turn. "You guys started the fire early, I'm so glad because it looks like suns going to set early."
"Yeah, that's what we figured too." Jessica replied as they made their way toward the rest of the group. "It was a spontaneous plan, so I'm glad the sun decided to surprise us all and cooperate."
Bella nodded her head as she and Leah took a seat next to Ashley and Lauren. She noticed that Jacob drifted over to where Mike and Tyler were pulling out the food to be grilled from the coolers. Seth drifted over to where Eric was walking around taking candids of everyone and the scenery. Bella twisted her head looking for Angela when her phone vibrated in her pocket.
You promise that you're not mad at me? – Bestest Friend Ever
'When had the little tinker-demon gotten her hands on my phone to change her contact info?'
Yes, I promise I want you to go enjoy your time with your family. Port Angeles has been around for decades, so I'm sure that it can wait a week or two. – Bella
"Guys? Where's Ang? I thought she would've beaten me here." Bella asked putting her phone back in her pocket.
Lauren shook her curls out before tying them up. "She had to drop the twins off at their practice, but she just texted saying that she's on the way. Does anyone want to come in the water with me?" She said zipping up her bodysuit as she stood up.
"I'll go with you." Jacob chimed in coming out of nowhere. He took off his shirt and left his swim trunks on. He noticed Bella give him a look. "What?"
"Dude, the waters like 65 degrees. How're you going in there without a bodysuit?"
Jacob just smiled at her like he would a child. "Ah my young, white padawan. That is a problem that only afflicts your kind because you don't have the genes for this water." Then, he imitated his voice to sound like Bane. "You think darkness is your ally? You've merely adapted to the dark. I was born in it, molded by it."
"Come on nerd. Let's go before I change my mind." Lauren remarked as Jacob smirked and jogged off towards the shoreline. She mouthed "so hot" before she took off after him.
"We stan a bisexual queen." Ashley said leaning back on her hands. They all giggled at Lauren's antics and Bella's phone vibrated again.
Ok! I believe you but promise to let me make it up to you next weekend! I'll drive! – Bestest Friend Ever
I also promise that next time I'll check with my family to see if we have any plans BEFOREHAND – Bestest Friend Ever
Something tells me that's not actually a good thing. But, seriously shortie, we're totally fine and there's no hard feelings. If you want to make it up to me, then you can send me another one of those stunning photos you sent last time. – Bella
Not a moment later, Alice sent a breathtaking sunset photo. Bella's mind felt addled and she couldn't tell if it was the view or if it was Rosalie's exposed back, barely in frame, as she gazed outward toward the dying sun that did it. The subject clearly didn't know that she was being photographed. Her face had a serene look that made Bella ache to know what the blonde was thinking about.
"Please tell me she hasn't been drooling over that photo the entire time." A voice said from behind her ear. Bella turned to see Angela's grinning face leaning over her to get a better look at the picture.
Something shattered to her left and Bella looked to see that Leah's hands were covered in soda and shards of glass at her feet. Leah's eyes, however, were riveted on the planes of Angela's face and Angela's eyes seemed to twinkle when they met Leah's.
"Here, let me help you with that." She said to a dumbfounded Leah. "That cut doesn't look too bad, but I've learned from my brothers that sugary soda is not something anyone wants on a cut." Bella stared at her normally calm and collected friend, in such a startled state. She could indeed see tiny rivulets of blood starting to trickle down her hand. Bella had to look away as the rusty smell of blood started to invade her senses. 'Don't pass out. Don't pass out.'
It wasn't until Seth walked over after hearing the commotion that Leah was able to shake herself out of whatever brain-fog she was in and respond to Angela. Her voice took on a raspy roughness as if she was waking up from a long slumber. "Uhm, thank you. That's very kind of you…"
"Angela." The girl responded with a small smile and an offered hand to help the girl up.
"Angela." Leah breathed, taking the offered hand. "A beautiful name."
The pair walked over to Jessica's van to grab the first aid kit stashed there. As they walked away, Bella felt like she was missing something. She looked to Seth who was smiling like his sister hadn't just sliced her hand open, and her confusion deepened.
Bella addressed Seth. "Am I missing something here?"
Seth just smiled and walked off to join the others by the shoreline. Ashley laid her head on Bella's lap as Jessica told her the new developments between her and Mike. Bella watched Angela gentle clean off Leah's wound, and she could even see her friends blush from her place near the pit. Bella smiled seeing the care with which Angela wrapped Leah's hand.
After that, the pair sat off in their own little world by the water. 'If I would've known that they would hit it off so swimmingly, then I would've introduced them sooner.' Bella mused and turned her attention back to Jessica's retelling of an exchange of texts between her and the boy.
As the rest of the evening wore on, Bella found her mind drifting. Inevitably, when her mind tended to drift these days, it tended to drift to platinum blonde hair and ocher eyes. 'I wonder if she's having a good time with her family.' Or 'does she look to the moon or the stars for answers to life's questions?'
Seth dropped down next to her, "Just because you're not looking at the photo, doesn't mean we all don't know where your head is." She had been tempted to pull out her phone for another glance and that gorgeous face, but she wasn't going to tell him that.
"I have absolutely no idea who you're talking about." She said knocking shoulders with him.
"Funny…I never actually said it was a who, now did I?" He smirked, waggling his eyebrows.
"When did you get to be so sassy?" Bella replied. "You need to stop hanging out with your sister so much. Speaking of which, have you been able to check on her hand? Is she ok?"
Seth's teeth gleamed in the firelight as he smiled. "I can confidently say that she is the best that she has ever been and that we don't need to worry about her." 'I wish they could bottle this kind of optimize because I swear it could cure anything.'
"That's good to hear, bud." She said with a smile. "Where's my biggest lunk head?"
His grin broadened as he gestured with his head towards the seashore. Bella could see two shadows sitting on the driftwood, locked in a passionate embrace. She matched his grin "Well, looks like it's just you and me kid. Well, you, me, and all of my tipsy friends."
She looked around at the smaller groups lounging about. A mysterious, small bottle of whiskey had materialized and been quickly passed around. She had missed the playfulness that came with teenage years. When she was with her mother, she often felt like she had to skip being an immature kid. 'God, I miss her so much, but I know that it's better for both of our developments if I get to be a kid and she gets to be the newlywed.' She wouldn't have it any other way, but that didn't mean that she didn't miss the woman terribly. She made a mental note to put a video call session together so they could catch up.
Bella smiled when she looked towards the water and saw Mike with Jessica as they walked along the shoreline while playfully splashing each other. Laughter brought her eyes to, Eric and Tyler holding hands as they chatted with Ashley by the grill.
"You can talk about her ya'know. I may be young, but I've got wisdoms." Seth's words brought her back to him and the pleasant fire light.
"Oh, yeah?" Bella joked. "Something tells me you are wise beyond your young years."
"Thanks! It's the Cheerios." He grinned. "Seriously, though."
She let out a small sigh as she dropped her head to look at the fire reflected in the sand. "I just miss her. I don't know why, but I do. We've gotten to a really good place and I know that I saw her yesterday and I'll see her when she gets back from her trip…"
"…but you miss her nonetheless." Seth finished.
"Yeah." She sighed, again. "We had this moment the other day where I could tell that she was ready to give our friendship a real try. I don't want to scare her. It's silly, but she called me 'Bella' for the first time and apologized to me for vandalizing my car in the same sentence. I could tell that it wasn't something that she did very often, and I was flattered. Like the asshat that I am, I literally couldn't make words after that."
"I'm not an expert or anything, but it sounds like you're scared about something?" He said as more of a question than a statement.
Bella sighed. "I am. That's one of the things that's getting to me is that I don't understand why I'm so worried. I really want to be her friend, but there's this part of me that's telling me there's something wrong with that. Not like an internalized homophobia way, but more like a there's something important that she's not telling me way."
"I feel like this is the part of the friend speech where I'm supposed to say, 'did you want to talk to her about it?' but that doesn't feel right here for some reason." He softly spoke nudging her.
"I've tried! That's what's so frustrating to me. Sometimes, I can tell she wants to talk to me and then other times it feels like she's fighting herself. Sometimes, I think about just walking right up to her and asking her what her problem is, but that sounds like a one-way ticket to getting demolished."
"Yeah….0/10. Would not recommend."
"Ok, Mr. Miyagi. What do you suggest then?"
"I don't know who that is, but I need you to know I'm insulted regardless." Seth paused to gather his words. "What's wrong with what you have been doing? It sounds like y'all have found a flow that works for you both. It's not perfect, but nothing in the beginning ever is. Try taking it day by day to see how it plays out. There's nothing wrong with taking time to make sure the other person knows that you're a safe space for them to talk out the harder stuff they're internally struggling with. You both started out on slightly the wrong foot and now you're working to correct that. Unfortunately, that can take time and it can feel like you're not exactly moving forward as much as spinning your tires in the mud."
"Squirt, I take it back. You are wise beyond your years."