So sorry for the delay with this story! I fully intend to finish it... I've simply been in an Avatar mood lately... XD

Rex was at a loss. After so many days of being pushed so hard, of draining his energy trying to protect his brothers, it felt wrong to be doing nothing.

But Anakin had ordered him to rest, and rest he would. After he was sure all his brothers had settled in well.

Some of them had served their first mission on Umbara. What a way to start. They needed reassurance that the war wasn't always as bad as what happened on that hellish planet. And for some, Umbara was only their second or third campaign.

Tup. He needed to find Tup…

He needed to make sure the kid was okay. After all, the rookie had just lost his batchmate and closest friend. I can't leave him to flounder all alone.

Locating the kid proved to be more difficult than Rex had hoped. He passed by dozens upon dozens of battle weary brothers, each and every one of which broke off a piece of his heart with their slumped shoulders and dragging feet.

He found himself cursing both Krell and himself equally. How could I not see what he was? How could I let things go that far?

It's not like you could've done very much anyway.

Rex clenched his fist, working his legs harder, willing them to go faster, faster.

Tup… He needed to find—

And there he was, making his way into the mess hall, squashed between two brothers holding him tight.

Rex's chest was filled with a constricted warmth. Tup was all right for now. He had his brothers.

He didn't need Rex.

Right. Well. Now he could follow the general's orders.

Right.

Turning sharply on his heel, Rex began his retreat to his quarters. He briefly considered seeking out Fives, but that would also mean giving the ARC his apology. For everything. And Rex didn't have the strength yet for another emotional conversation.

Not after Anakin.

Oh, there had been so many things he'd wanted to confess to his general. To get down on his knees and beg his forgiveness for losing so many men, for getting caught in Krell's net of lies and treachery.

But no. Not down on his knees. Never begging. Not again. Never again.

An involuntary shiver wracked the captain's frame and he hurried along. The sooner he reached the safety of his quarters, the better.

Almost… He was almost there…

"There you are." Rex froze when he rounded the corner on Jesse and Fives. "Did you get something to eat already?"

Without the helmet, Rex could see the touch of concern on Jesse's face.

An evasive reply was right on the tip of Rex's tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. Every word seemed so insignificant in the grand scheme of it all. He needed to apologize, to explain to these heroic troopers that he hadn't meant for things to go so horribly.

He hadn't meant for Hardcase to be sacrificed so needlessly.

If Krell had only listened…

If I had only listened.

If the Chancellor hadn't taken the general away from us in the first place.

"I don't think anyone's had time to have a proper meal yet," Fives reasoned, saving Rex from having to answer. "We were actually just headed to the mess…"

The unspoken invitation came with the beckoning tilt of Fives' head.

Rex, however, felt it best to ignore the gesture in favor of making a hasty getaway. He needed to be alone. After all, how was he supposed to properly apologize to his brothers if he could barely piece together a cohesive thought?

"I'll be there in a few minutes," Rex said, hoping to pacify them for the time being. "I have a few more things that need to be taken care of first."

"The general ordered everyone to get some rest," Jesse pointed out.

"I know," Rex replied, feet already dragging him further down the hall—further away from his friends. "And I will. There's something I need to do first."

Jesse and Fives exchanged a glance before Fives offered, "Could you use some help? I'm sure whatever it is you're gonna do will get done faster with three—"

"Thank you," Rex brushed him off as he continued to draw further away, "but I'm seconding General Skywalker's order. Go get some rest. I'll join you soon."

"Promise?"

At Fives' voice, Rex paused. It was one thing to beat around the bush, to dance about his problems and pacify others with vague plans for the future. But to promise…? To actually swear that he would back his words with action?

Rex realized he couldn't do that to Fives. Not after everything they'd gone through.

They don't deserve to be deceived by anyone else. Least of all me…

"You two go on ahead," Rex said after a moment, voice soft because he couldn't seem to raise it any higher. "I'll be along later."

And the way Fives nodded revealed his understanding. The ARC knew the captain's words were empty, yet he was powerless to do anything against them.

After all, Rex reminded himself as he hurried down the hall, Fives' words held no sway over you on Umbara. So, why would they matter now?

Rex squeezed his eyes shut.

No. No! No… They matter. Fives matters.

So do his opinions, his words.

As Rex palmed open the door, he found himself fighting a battle he never signed up for between his mind and his inner critic.

Well then, the cruel voice whispered, stabbing at Rex's core, why didn't you listen to him? Why are you still not listening to him?

Stop it!

If his opinion matters so kriffing much…

I said stop!

Why are you standing here in the dark, alone, while Fives is making his way to the mess? Where he'll be surrounded by brothers on all sides. Now, doesn't that sound nice?

In one swift motion, Rex yanked his helmet off and sucked in a breath.

I said… Then, he snatched up his comlink … stop.

When the comm crackled to life, Rex wasted no time on opening exchanges.

"Cody, did you land yet?"

"Cody?" The voice on the other end startled Rex. Though technically of the same timbre, Wolffe's voice was distinctly different from that of the 212th commander.

Stang!

The private comm numbers were far too similar to each other, differing only by a single digit.

"Rex?" Well, it was too late to abort now. "Did you mix up the numbers again?"

"In my defense, your numbers are almost exactly the same."

Wolffe chuckled. "Still, you really should have them sorted out by now. How long have we known each other again?"

"How long have you had a private comlink again?"

"All right, I'll give you that one. Not everyone gets a private comm channel, but honestly, vod'ika."

"Well, sorry about the mix up," Rex rushed, trying not to go into panic mode. All he needed was to hang up before his older brother started asking questions. As he wrapped up the call, he cursed the weakness in his voice.

In my defense… Rex shook his head, taking a deep breath. In my defense, I thought it was Cody.

And Wolffe's different because…?

Rex gripped the comlink tighter.

Because he doesn't know.

The word Umbara means nothing to him.

"Rex?" Wolffe's voice was concerned now. "What's going on? Is Cody all right?"

"What? No, Cody's fine."

"Then why did you sound so stressed about him landing? Did you guys make it back yet?"

"Yeah." Rex's mouth dried out faster than he could moisten it again. "Yeah, we're back. Cody's fine. The 212th is just taking their time getting back to headquarters. That's all."

"Uh huh… Where were you deployed again?"

Swallowing did nothing to ease the tightness in his throat. If anything, the instinctive action made it worse. "Umbara. Look, I don't want to keep you from your own campaign, so—"

"The 104th hasn't seen any real action for the better part of the last week."

Lucky.

"We're actually enroute back to Coruscant." A laugh crackled over the tiny speaker. "If Cody keeps dragging his feet, we might even beat him back to headquarters—and he's already planetside!"

Wolffe's laughter had never been very contagious, so it was no wonder Rex's lips remained pursed.

"You can try, but I expect his gunships to land within the next ten minutes."

"And we're more than an hour from HQ. Well, it was a thought, at least."

"Yeah. Well, I'll just be goin—"

"Rex,"—And Wolffe's tone had a gravity Rex hadn't wanted to hear—"are you all right?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know." A beat; Rex held his breath. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"Look, Wolffe, I've gotta go. Sorry for the mixup."

"Eh, don't worry about it. Just take care of yourself until I get back, okay?"

"Sure."

"All right. I'll see you soon."

"Sure…" Rex muttered as the call fizzled out. "Soon."

With a sigh, he collapsed on his bed, his mind going a mile a minute.

Had Anakin read the report yet? If so, what did he think? Would he still make Rex talk about what happened on Umbara? Make him give an oral report?

And what about Wolffe? Had he succeeded in turning his older brother off his scent? Or had he just made Wolffe more suspicious than he was before?

It was all too much to consider, to even comprehend.

I have to do this.

"You don't have it in you, Captain."

And there it was again, even after the fallen Jedi was already cold in the ground.

The mocking, the cruelty.

That haunting voice that still made Rex feel so grossly insignificant.

"You never have."

Stay out of my head!

But the words were already taking their effect and he felt his chest constrict.

Cody.

He needed Cody…

As Rex struggled to breathe, he dialed another number on his comm—the right one, this time.

Only… the number was busy. Blast it!

The one time he actually wanted to ask for help, his lifeline was unavailable.

Great. That's just kriffing great.

The longer he waited for Cody to pick up, the harder it became to breathe.

"It's a wonder Skywalker even allowed you to be put in charge of so many men, seeing how you were so easy to fool."

Sucking in another strangled breath, Rex abandoned the call and dialed another as fast as his trembling fingers would allow.

"Commander?" he began before she could even speak or confirm her identity.

"Rex? What's wrong?"

Of course she would sense his distress instantly, even over a comm call.

"Are you busy?"

"Not at the moment, no. Why?"

Rex swallowed and gripped the comm. "I… I need you. Just you… Please?"

Her reply was immediate. "I'm on my way. Just hold on, okay?"

He nodded, fully aware that she couldn't actually see him.

Sure.

Sure.