JJ woke slowly, too warm and sleepy to jolt awake like she usually did. Instead, she pointed her toes, stretching her legs out, groaning as her muscles protested. Her arms reached above her head, fingers hitting the headboard and making her pull her arms back under the blankets.
Even in her half-awake haze, JJ could tell that she wasn't in her own bed. The pillows her face was buried in smelled familiar and pleasant, but they were too soft to be hers. JJ rolled onto her stomach, hugging a pillow to her chest and pressing her face into the cool cloth. It smelled like cologne and roses and something else that made her heart race.
It smelled like Emily, JJ realized suddenly. Her eyes opened and she sat up, looking around the bedroom she was in. She recognized it from the pictures she'd received from Emily over the past few months. The memory of Hankel, her hallucinations, and Emily's rescue returned to her, ruining the pleasant mood she'd woken up in.
JJ took a deep breath, trying not to panic. She remembered the physical torture she'd gone through and gingerly touched the stitches on her cheek. Throwing back Emily's dark red comforter, JJ climbed out of bed. Her feet hit the cold wood floor and pain shot up her calves.
Looking down, she lifted a foot, holding it carefully and tilting her head to check why it hurt. Red welts criss crossed her sole, making it tender and painful. The memory of Hankel hitting her because she wouldn't confess flooded back. With a gasp, she dropped her foot, wincing as it hit the floor again.
She spotted a pair of beige Uggs peeking out from under the bed and stretched to pick them up. Sliding them on, she took in the room, eager to take advantage of the rare chance to learn more about Emily. It was a good distraction from thinking about herself Standing, she found that the fluffy Uggs helped ease the pain.
JJ looked around at the bed. Emily had black sheets with dark red pillow cases and a dark red comforter. It seemed right somehow. The thought of Emily purposefully choosing to sleep in darkness made her smile. Her manners taking over, JJ made the bed quickly, tucking the comforter in tightly. When she went to the foot of the bed, she saw a pile of decorative pillows in the corner. They seemed like they'd been there a while, haphazardly thrown off the bed one night and never thought of again.
Picking up the pillows, JJ tossed them onto the bed. When she picked up the last one, she uncovered a small safe. It was probably a gun safe, but JJ still found it curious. It made sense because Milly shouldn't have access to any guns in the house. JJ decided not to worry about it and finished organizing the ten decorative pillows onto Emily's bed.
When she was done, she went to the dresser to see what Emily thought was important enough to display. There was a bottle of expensive cologne and JJ picked it up, smelling it and smiling. It was definitely Emily's scent. It made JJ light-headed and warm, so she put it down and tried to push the thoughts away. She remembered her time at bible camp now, but she just wasn't in a place to process it.
Moving along the dresser, she found a worn stuffed rabbit and an old polaroid between its arms. The picture showed Emily and an older woman with one hand on her shoulder. The woman was blonde, so JJ could guess that she wasn't her mother. Maybe she was an older teacher or housekeeper. Emily looked exactly like Milly in the picture.
Turning away, JJ saw a desk against another wall, empty except for a calendar and a lamp. There were also three thin bookcases that were entirely full. She walked to it and looked over the books, tangling her hands in the bottom of her shirt. She wasn't surprised to see books in several languages, but it was still intimidating. Emily was so smart. Maybe JJ should practice her French more.
She pushed the thought from her head. There was no reason to try and impress Emily. The backs of her thighs stung with phantom pain. She pushed that away, too.
Releasing the grip on her shirt, she wondered if she should find pants to put on, but decided against it. She'd take the embarrassment of bare thighs over the potential mortification of finding something private in one of Emily's drawers. With a sigh and a final look around the room, she walked out into the hallway, closing the door behind herself.
She headed down the hallway toward the stairs, glancing into Milly's room as she passed. It was really clean for a pre-teen's bedroom. The bed was made, the desk was organized, and there wasn't anything on the floor. JJ was impressed.
Turning away and starting down the stairs, JJ wondered what day it was. They'd left for Atlanta on Sunday, but she'd totally lost track of time since then. Her body protested as she walked down the staircase. She was still incredibly sore.
When she reached the first floor, she saw Emily sitting on a cushioned bench in front of an open window. The sunlight made the lighter brown highlights in her black hair visible, and the gentle breeze made her ponytail swing slightly. She was wearing a black tank top that showed off her slim arms and gentle curves. Thick black sweatpants hid her legs away. JJ barely noticed any of that, though.
Her eyes were fixed on Emily's long, delicate fingers. She held a glass ashtray in one hand and a slim cigarette between two fingers in the other. Her legs were drawn up to her chest and she rested her hands on her knees, perfectly painted red nails standing out against pale skin and dark cloth. JJ watched as Emily brought her cigarette up to her lips. Dimly, JJ registered that Emily's lips were a dusty dark pink without lipstick.
She honestly didn't know what it was about seeing Emily like this that affected her so much. Was it because seeing Emily without make-up, dressed in casual, comfortable clothing, almost felt like seeing her naked? Maybe it was the way Emily watched the people outside with wistful envy. JJ could imagine Emily as a princess, locked away in an ivory tower, longing for love and connection.
The dramatic thought made JJ roll her eyes at herself. Emily was just a person and seeing her like this reinforced that idea. Maybe seeing how normal and approachable Emily seemed was what made JJ feel weird.
Clearing her throat, JJ smiled as Emily's head snapped around. Emily quickly put out her cigarette, put the ashtray down on the bench, and jumped to her feet. She crossed the living room, hurrying to JJ and putting her hands on her shoulders.
"Hi!" Emily said, looking her over. Her eyes lingered on JJ's cheek, checking to see how the stitches handled restless sleep. "How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"
"I'm fine," JJ chuckled, meeting Emily's worried eyes. She remembered the shower last night, Emily's tattoos, flushed skin, and the secret she'd shared. "Where's Milly?"
"School," Emily answered. She smiled affectionately. "She begged to stay home with you, even though I reminded her that it was Friday and she'd have the whole weekend. She wanted to stay so she could cook you food."
At the mention of food, JJ's stomach growled and she blushed. "I'm actually very hungry…"
Emily winced. "That's my fault. Milly made you soup last night and I forgot to make you eat it."
"None of this is your fault." JJ bit her lip, trying to decide how vulnerable she wanted to be. "Thank you for rescuing me yesterday. I'm sorry for calling you…"
"Don't worry about it," Emily interrupted. She squeezed JJ's shoulders before dropping her hands. "I mean it. You needed to send a message and that was the best way. It worked, so no harm no foul."
JJ smiled weakly. Following her impulse, she hugged Emily tightly, leaning heavily on her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Emily tensed, but she hugged JJ back. Her arms wrapped around JJ's waist and they just stood there for a moment, enjoying the closeness and the comfort of knowing they were safe.
"Thank you," JJ mumbled against Emily's cheek. "I know you were just doing your job, but knowing that you were coming for me really helped. You didn't have to take me home and take such good care of me." She kissed Emily's cheek again. "Thank you for trusting me."
Emily pulled away, smiling at JJ. There was a distance in her eyes that JJ recognized from when she joined the BAU. It didn't feel good to see it aimed at her again, but she thought that it might just be how Emily dealt with things. As if she read her thoughts, Emily's body relaxed, shoulders dropping.
"I was worried about you," Emily admitted quietly. She ran a hand over her hair, dragging it down her ponytail. "Anyway, um-" She cleared her throat. "Do you have a food preference? Milly's soup was out all night, but I think we have… salad? I'll be honest, she does all the cooking and I just buy what's on the grocery list. She made me eggs for breakfast."
JJ laughed at that, fully believing that Emily completely trusted Milly with food. She shrugged a shoulder and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I kind of want Chinese? I'll probably feel terrible afterwards, but orange chicken is kind of my comfort food."
"Then, orange chicken you shall have."
Emily went back to the bench and sat, JJ trailing after her and sitting, too. She crossed her legs on the bench and watched as Emily picked her cellphone up and started dialing. JJ was glad to see she wasn't the only one with the closest Chinese restaurant's phone number memorized.
As Emily waited for someone to answer the call, JJ picked up the mostly empty pack of Parliaments. She chuckled to herself. Of course, Emily smoked Parliaments. It was so pretentious. Grinning at Emily, JJ opened the pack and pulled one out.
Emily was holding the phone to her ear, but she stared at JJ as she put the cigarette between her lips and reached for the slim silver lighter. "You smoke?"
"Only when I'm having an existential crisis," JJ replied, flicking the lighter open. She lit the cigarette, breathing in lightly as she held the small flame against the tip, her free hand cupping it to protect it from the cool breezes flowing in. "Although, I usually go for something cheaper, like Newports."
Emily's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Newports? Might as well smoke- Yes! Hello!"
JJ leaned against the window, the cold glass helping her focus a little better. She closed her eyes, lazily smoking as she listened to Emily order orange chicken and about thirty other things. It felt calm and domestic and way too easy. JJ told herself that it was because their friendship had always been easy.
"Ok," Emily said, ending the call. "I ordered some extra food, in case you want more."
JJ blinked her eyes open, smiling sleepily across the bench. "Thanks." She offered her cigarette and Emily took it. Their fingers brushed together and JJ watched as Emily blushed, putting the cigarette into her mouth and looking away. "Tell me more about Milly," she requested. "How old is she? What grade is she in?"
Emily took the cigarette from her mouth and passed it back to JJ. "She's 12," Emily answered. "In 7th grade. It's hard to believe it's been that long. I'm so old."
"You're not old," JJ laughed. She gave Emily a cheeky grin. "I mean, you're older than me."
"Oh, shut up," Emily snorted, rolling her eyes affectionately. She nodded her head at the couch. "You want to watch a movie or something? We've got a few hours before Milly gets out of school."
"Sure!"
They quickly finished the cigarette, dropping the fancy Parliament filter into the ashtray. It made JJ laugh to think about Emily as a kid smoking Parliaments and thinking she looked so cool. She let the cheerful energy carry her to the couch, plopping down.
Her shirt rode up on her thighs, but she didn't care. She just lifted her legs to pull Emily's Uggs off before grabbing a large blanket that was folded neatly in the corner of the large couch. She covered herself and waited for Emily to sit beside her so she could cover her, too. JJ draped her legs over Emily's and snuggled into her side.
She didn't even realize she'd fallen asleep until she woke up sometime later with her head on Emily's shoulder and her arms wrapped around a slim waist. Awareness came to her slowly, but the first thing she noticed was Emily's fingers running over her back gently. It was so soothing that JJ kept her eyes closed a little longer to hold on to the feeling. Emily's other hand rested on JJ's arm, her thumb brushing over soft skin.
JJ was so warm under the blanket and tucked into Emily. The other woman's body heat felt amazing against her. It felt foreign to her, a new experience that she'd never had before. JJ had dated men before, but she was never much of a cuddler and those relationships never lasted too long anyway. She felt like she could stay in Emily's arms forever.
Sighing, JJ opened her eyes. On the coffee table in front of them was a half-eaten box of noodles, a few empty plastic trays, and a glass of wine. At some point, Emily had gotten up to get their food, eaten some, and settled in to cuddle JJ again. It shouldn't make JJ as emotional as it did, but JJ felt touched that Emily would be there for her like that.
Across the coffee table was a short TV stand. The shelves were packed full of DVDs and from her place against Emily, JJ could see that they were mostly children's movies with a few unfamiliar titles mixed in. Idly, JJ wondered if Emily had had this before Milly or if it was a recent purchase. Emily didn't strike her as the couch potato type.
"Hey," Emily said quietly, her hands stopping their lazy trails. "Did I wake you up?"
"No," JJ mumbled, sitting up. She rubbed her eyes, wincing when it hurt more than she was expecting. "Ow."
Emily pulled her hands away from her face. "You have two black eyes," she told JJ. "I guess you didn't look too closely in the mirror last night."
"I did not," JJ confirmed. She met Emily's eyes, smiling. "Thanks for letting me sleep. I'm sorry I'm not a more entertaining house guest."
"I don't know," Emily said, clicking her tongue. Her eyes twinkled with mirth. "Your snores were pretty funny. Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"
Heat flooded JJ's face and her eyes widened with panic. "Emily, I am so sorry."
"Relax," the older woman laughed, running her hands over JJ's shoulders. "I'm just kidding. You're fine."
JJ's stomach grumbled loudly, interrupting anything she might have said. "Oh god, I'm starving."
"Let me get your food." Emily carefully extracted herself from JJ and stood. She pointed a finger down at JJ, eyes narrowing. "Stay awake."
"No promises," JJ joked.
Settling back against the couch, she watched Emily walk to the kitchen. It would probably be creepy to just watch her, so JJ turned her attention to the television. She smiled as she immediately recognized the show that was playing silently. Fraser was one of the shows she'd been obsessed with growing up. It had been fascinating to watch rich people. JJ would imagine that she was Marty, drinking Dr. Pepper and pretending it was Ballantine's.
"Oh," Emily said from the kitchen, pulling JJ's attention to her. "I called Penelope and she's going to pick Milly up from school for me. I told her the code word."
"Code word?" JJ repeated, confused. The idea was so random that she forgot to be surprised that Emily had told Pen about Milly. "There's a code word?"
"Crème glacée," Emily clarified. "It's ice cream in French. It's…" Her eyes unfocused for a moment, but she blinked and smiled at JJ. "It's for safety, so Milly knows who's supposed to be picking her up. You know how many creeps are out there. I hope PG can pronounce it well enough to appease Milly."
JJ shook her head, grinning at the idea of Penelope trying to speak French to Emily's precocious daughter. She suddenly remembered that no one was supposed to know about Milly. "Wait. Why is Penelope getting Milly? Does she know?"
Emily rolled her eyes before turning around to place a plate into the microwave. "She knew before I even started working with you," she said over her shoulder as she closed the microwave door and set the time. When it started, she turned around again to smirk at JJ. "Remember how she pulled me aside during orientation?" JJ nodded. "She was telling me she 'accidentally' found Milly's adoption papers. She doesn't know that Milly is my… Is related to me by blood."
"Oh, ok." JJ pulled the blanket over her shoulders. "Does Hotch know?"
"Nope. It's only you and me."
JJ's eyelashes fluttered at the revelation and she felt her body grow warm. She liked the idea that there was something only she and Emily knew. It was like they shared something special.
"Oh, yeah," Emily said suddenly, snapping her fingers. "Pen said something about bringing Henry? Who's Henry? She didn't say."
JJ laughed loudly sending pain shooting across her ribs, but she barely felt it. Of course, Penelope wouldn't tell Emily about Henry. She grinned across the living room at Emily.
"Henry is my tortoise," JJ told her as the microwave beeped. "Penelope has an enclosure at her apartment, so she can watch him while I'm gone. She'll bring his travel tub here." JJ hesitated. "I guess, I should ask if that's ok. He's really low maintenance."
"It's fine," Emily assured her. She pulled the plate out of the microwave and a clatter told JJ that she was getting utensils from a drawer. "I don't mind. I'm sure Milly is over the moon right now. I told her no pets."
"Every kid should have a pet," JJ gasped. She raised her eyebrows at Emily as the other woman walked her food to her. "You have to get her a pet, Emily."
Emily smiled sadly as she placed the plate on the coffee table and set the utensils beside it. "Unfortunately, I'm gone too much and I don't think Hotch, or Haley, would appreciate suddenly having a pet."
"Oh. Yeah."
JJ moved to the edge of the couch and started eating. Emily sat beside her, crossing her legs and resting an arm on the back of the couch. Doing her best not to just scarf down her food, JJ ate enthusiastically. If it was Friday, then she probably hadn't eaten in four days. No wonder she was starving.
The lock on the front door opened and JJ swallowed, glancing at Emily. Emily stood, moving toward the sound, but the door burst open before she was even halfway there. Milly barrelled into the apartment, tearing her backpack off and tossing it onto the chair under the staircase. She ran right to JJ and launched herself onto the couch.
"How are you?" she asked eagerly, eyes wide and bright. "Are you feeling better? Did you sleep all day? Did Emily cook for you? Where did you get Henry? Are turtles good pets?"
"Jesus, kid," Emily muttered, scratching her head. "Give her a chance to answer."
JJ looked at Penelope helplessly, overwhelmed by the sudden barrage of questions. Penelope winked at her and carried the large plastic tub containing Henry into the apartment. Emily moved to close the door and JJ did her best to answer Milly's questions.
"Um, I'm ok," she started, putting her fork down and turning to face the young interrogator. "I'm feeling much better. I slept almost all day. Emily ordered food, thank goodness. I stole Henry, who is a tortoise, and, yes, they make great pets."
Milly's eyes widened at JJ's answers. "You stole him? From where?"
"You don't have to answer," Emily told her, smirking. She wandered back into the living room and raised an eyebrow at Milly. "Why don't you go change out of your uniform and take a deep breath. Remember what we talked about this morning?"
"Yes," Milly answered petulantly, sliding off the couch and dramatically stalking to get her bag. "JJ needs calm and quiet." She pouted at JJ. "Sorry."
"It's fine. I'll still be here once you've changed." JJ smiled at her. "When you come back, you can hold Henry, if you want."
"I'll be right back!" Milly gasped before bolting to her room.
The adults laughed as she thundered up the stairs. Penelope went to JJ, looking her over with sharp, examining eyes, taking in each bruise and scrape. She set Henry's plastic tub on the coffee table and sat beside JJ.
"Baby, I'm so sorry this happened to you," she said, eyes filling with tears. "I'm so sorry it took so long to find you and I couldn't help and I wasn't there when you got taken and I had to watch you die! You died! Jayje, I'm so sorry-"
"Peeg," JJ interrupted, putting her hands on the other blonde's shoulders. She rubbed her arms. "I'm okay. Really. None of this was your fault and I need you to understand that. You helped me get my message to Emily. She wouldn't have found me without you."
She smiled affectionately at Penelope, waiting for the other woman to nod. When she did, JJ tugged her close, wrapping her arms around Penelope's shoulders. Penelope clutched JJ's oversized shirt, burying her face into the crook of her neck. JJ looked over her head at Emily.
The dark-haired woman was staring at them, her cheeks pink. JJ would give anything to know what she was thinking in that moment. Was she jealous that Penelope was holding her like this? Was she seeing what she and JJ's embraces looked like from the outside? JJ rested her cheek on Penelope's head and just watched Emily watch them.
After a long moment, Penelope began to pull away and Emily snapped out of her trance. She took a deep breath and moved to sit beside the coffee table. Peering through Henry's clear plastic container, she dragged a slow finger down the side, seemingly determined to pretend she hadn't just been staring at JJ.
Pen sat back and smiled at JJ, wiping her face. "I'm so glad that you're ok, Jayje. Em and I almost broke down when we saw you die."
JJ turned to Emily, biting back a grin when she saw that the tips of her ears were pink with embarrassment. "You can hold him," JJ said, chuckling. "He's a really calm pet."
"No, thank you," Emily replied quickly, wincing. She took her hand away from the box. "I'll let Milly have him first."
The slight quiver in her voice suggested Emily's consideration for Milly wasn't entirely out of the goodness of her heart. Out of respect, and the desire to see Emily try and downplay her nervousness, JJ didn't call her out on it. Instead, she waited for Penelope to take her shoes off before cuddling into the other blonde.
After working together for a couple years, the two women were best friends. JJ trusted Penelope more than she trusted anyone else in the world. Except for Emily Prentiss. Instead of trying to figure out why Emily had gotten under her skin so quickly, JJ just dropped her head onto Penelope's shoulder.
Milly ran down the stairs again. Her crisp school uniform had been replaced by comfortable house clothes and fuzzy slippers. She'd tied her long hair up into a ponytail and JJ's heart clenched at the sight. It just kept hitting her how much the girl looked like Emily. It made her easier to like.
"Can I pick up Henry?" Milly asked as soon as she stepped off the stairs. "I'll be careful. I hold the chinchillas at school all the time."
"Your school has chinchillas?" Pen asked, surprised. "Wow. My school had rats."
JJ snorted. "In a cage or in the walls?"
"Both."
They laughed together and JJ felt a little more like herself. Her emotions were still raw after her torture, but Pen was a calming, familiar presence. It made it easier to stand the way Emily's presence affected her.
"You can hold him," JJ finally answered Milly. "I'll get him out."
Pulling away from Penelope, she started to move the blanket aside before remembering that she wasn't wearing pants. She decided to avoid the questions that would inevitably come from Penelope. So, she left the blanket over her lap and just scooted to the edge of the couch.
Reaching out for the plastic tub, she peeled the top off. The enclosure in her apartment took up half of her living room. She didn't use the space for anything, so it worked as a good space for Henry to run around. That enclosure had sand and sticks covering the ground, half of it lit by a heat lamp with a few rocks for him to lay on and the other half was covered and cool with his nest.
Penelope had turned her second bedroom into an enclosure for Henry. It had a bed for when JJ crashed there after an intense girls' night, but everyone called it "Henry's Room." His travel enclosure was a clear plastic tub with slits cut into the top and holes poked into the top. Usually, he was only in it for the drive between their apartments, but they still made sure he had a battery-powered heated rock, plenty of sticks, and his food. It would be fine to keep him in the tub for a couple of days. JJ could ask Emily to go grocery shopping for Henry.
"Alright," JJ said, picking Henry up carefully with both hands. She held him out for Milly to take, grinning when the pre-teen practically vibrated with excitement. "He's not heavy."
Milly took him from her with steady hands, a look of intense concentration on her face. She cradled the small tortoise to her chest and grinned when he tried to nip at her shirt. Wide, dark eyes turned to JJ.
"He's amazing!"
"He's pretty cool," JJ agreed, chuckling. She looked at Emily. "You might have to get a tortoise…"
Emily rolled her eyes, scooting away from the tub and leaning against the couch in front of Penelope. "I can just have an enclosure made here, so you can bring him when you come over."
JJ's heart skipped a beat and she almost missed the look Milly and Penelope exchanged. Licking her lips, she shrugged casually. "I wouldn't ask you to do that. I don't know if it's worth it."
"You don't want to come over again?" Emily asked, looking up at her with worry. "It's not a problem."
"Well…" JJ felt herself blushing, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from Emily's. Of course she wanted to spend more time at Emily's apartment. She loved spending time with her. "I guess if it isn't a big deal. I think I still have the specifications for mine. We could shrink it."
Emily tore her eyes away from JJ to look at the space under the stairs. "Would that work?" She gestured to the small alcove. "There's an outlet. Turtles need heat lamps and stuff, right?"
Milly spoke up, startling both women. "He's a tortoise, Emily. You should get that right if you're going to build him a home. JJ isn't going to bring him if you buy turtle stuff for him. Right, JJ?"
JJ found herself on the receiving end of a sharp stare. Somehow, she felt like she was being judged and worried that she wouldn't answer correctly. She swallowed. "Well, I'd still come over. I wouldn't turn Emily down just because she bought the wrong stuff. If she's still buying the wrong stuff in a year?" JJ winked at Emily. "Maybe."
It seemed like she'd said the right thing because Milly nodded again. JJ wasn't sure exactly what the test had been, but she'd passed it. Milly sat on the floor beside Emily and held Henry out to her.
"You want to hold him?"
Emily winced and shook her head. "No, thank you. I prefer animals with fur."
"I'll take him!" Penelope said cheerfully. "I love this little guy!"
Milly reached above Emily's head, making her duck, and handed Henry over. JJ watched the exchange happily. When Henry was settled in Penelope's lap, she picked up her Chinese food and resumed eating. It might be impolite to be the only one eating, but she was still hungry and no one could blame her.
"Oh!" Milly said, the sight of JJ's food reminding her. "What does Henry eat?"
"Greens," Penelope answered before JJ could. "They're vegetarians, like me!"
Milly gasped. "Me too!"
The two vegetarians launched into a conversation that JJ couldn't follow. She focused on eating instead, working her way through her fried rice and the two egg rolls Emily had given her. The couch dipped beside her and she looked to see Emily sitting down.
"Don't eat too fast," Emily said quietly. "We don't need you throwing up."
JJ pouted, but she slowed down. "Hey, I don't want to overstay my welcome, but can I stay here for a couple days? I… I'm not sure I can take care of myself at home."
"Of course." Emily put her hand on JJ's blanket-covered leg. "Hotch gave me a few days off. You could stay through the weekend, and then we'll re-evaluate?"
"That sounds great." JJ smiled. "Thank you."
Emily returned her smile. "Any time."
"Emily!" Milly called, getting their attention. "I love your friends!"
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A few hours later, the apartment was cleaned up, Milly was in bed, Penelope had gone home, and Emily was sitting in bed. She'd showered as quickly as possible, so she could help JJ if she needed it, but the blonde woman was determined to bathe herself this time. Emily knew it was probably a matter of pride and didn't fight it. She'd just put a clean pajama shirt on and climbed into bed to wait.
Even though JJ had been asleep for most of the day, Emily was worn out. She'd spent hours trying to decide if it was too soon to have feelings for the blonde woman, or if this was the speed that normal people fell in love. Not that Emily thought she was in love. It was probably just a mix of friendship and lust. JJ was really kind and Emily hadn't had sex in a while. Not that she was only thinking about sex with JJ. She liked her as a person and always enjoyed her company. Was that love?
With a heavy sigh, Emily rubbed her forehead and cut off that train of thought. This was what she'd spent the entire day doing. The thoughts taunted her all morning, then again when JJ was napping in her arms, and even now when they were going to bed. Emily wasn't used to someone occupying so much space in her head.
She looked at the plastic tub sitting on her desk. Henry was staring at her, or at least that's what it felt like. Emily didn't hate tortoises, but their shells always looked slimy and she just wasn't into that. She narrowed her eyes at him.
The bedroom door opened and JJ walked in, her wet hair hanging down her back and her body wrapped in a towel. Smiling politely, Emily gestured to the clothing she'd set at the end of the bed. Unlike yesterday, she'd given JJ a pair of shorts.
"I put that out for you," Emily told her. "I can ask Pen to bring something from your apartment tomorrow, so you don't have to live out of your go-bag."
"Okay," JJ replied, moving toward the clothes. A soft blush covered her cheeks as she picked up Emily's old Velvet Underground t-shirt. "Thanks."
Emily looked toward the wall as JJ dressed, ignoring the pounding of her heart in her chest. She'd already seen the other woman naked, but it felt different tonight. JJ could have chosen to go home, but she decided to stay. Not only that, but she was much more aware of the world around her tonight; everything felt more real.
"I'm dressed," JJ said softly, kneeling onto the bed. "Can I sleep against the wall?"
"Of course!"
Emily winced at how loud her answer was, but she just scooted back and made space. JJ crawled up the bed, brow furrowing as she maneuvered herself under the covers, settling heavily onto the bed. She gave Emily a pained smile.
"I managed to shower, but my body still hurts a lot."
"I'm sorry," Emily replied sympathetically. "You can take a long, hot bath tomorrow. That'll make you feel better."
JJ nodded. She rolled onto her side to face Emily. "What do you and Milly usually do together? When you have a day off, I mean."
"Well," Emily started, laying down too and facing JJ, "Milly makes me a full English breakfast. Vegetarian, of course." The two women chuckled together. "Then, we'll watch a movie at home, or go to the theater. Sometimes we go to the park, or a museum. She's done more in DC than I have, honestly. So, I let her make the choices."
"That sounds great," JJ mumbled as she began to drift off. "I'm excited."
Emily opened her mouth to say that they'd probably stay home because of her injuries, but she closed it again. She knew that she'd carry JJ through a museum if the blonde wanted to go out. It should be an embarrassing fact, but Emily was a little bit glad to find that she was still capable of caring for someone outside of an emergency.
She had the intense urge to run a gentle finger down JJ's nose. It was almost overwhelming and Emily tried to divert the impulse to something else. Unfortunately, her sleepy brain made her tuck a wet strand of hair behind JJ's ear instead and blue eyes blinked at her.
"I can't believe you smoke Parliaments," JJ mumbled. "That's so dumb."
"I can't believe you smoke at all," Emily replied with a small smile. "And I don't smoke. Not really. I've had the pack for years now. It's just been a stressful week."
JJ nodded, the soft sound of her cheek against the dark pillowcase filling the air between them. "Me neither. It's probably been a year."
Emily bit her lip as JJ smiled sleepily, her eyes hazy with exhaustion. "Newports?" she asked, surprising herself. "Why Newports?"
"There was a girl," JJ replied, her eyes drifting shut again. "I was in 10th grade and she was a senior. She was so scary. She wore fishnets and goth make-up and these big boots, but she was always nice to me. I was jealous of her confidence."
Emily's breath caught in her throat. Would JJ have noticed her in high school? Even now, 20 years after she'd graduated, a small part of Emily felt the familiar thrill of a grade school crush. She wondered what JJ looked like in high school, and knew that she would have been head over heels then, too.
"Yeah?" Emily prompted when JJ took a moment to continue.
Blinking rapidly to keep herself awake, JJ drew in a long breath. "Um, she asked me to meet her under the bleachers after soccer practice. Mine, not hers." A smile tugged at the corners of JJ's mouth. "She offered me a cigarette and I was so desperate to impress her that I took it. I almost threw up from coughing so hard." They chuckled together. "Anyway, she graduated, but Newports are my go-to now. That probably seems silly to someone who smokes Parliaments."
"It makes a lot of sense," Emily assured her. She reached to trace a finger along JJ's jaw, her restraint diminished by the fog of sleep threatening to overwhelm her. "I've done a lot of stupid things for pretty girls."
JJ blushed, but she curled against Emily's chest and tucked her head under Emily's chin. "Thanks for being perfect," she whispered into Emily's collarbone. "You've really saved me."
"Anytime."