A/N- To anybody who caught chapter 9 right after it was posted, I need to apologize for a huge (and rather stupid) error I made when introducing Bella's new cellmate, who should have been Lauren Mallory. I mistakenly named her Tanya Denali, despite her appearing earlier in the story. I've decided I must really hate that bitch to try to stick her in unsavory roles twice in one story. Anyway, dumb error on my part, so apologizes for any confusion. (Thank you to twichris for bringing this to my attention).

I appreciate everyone who is reading, recommending and reviewing. This fandom is amazing! On with the story...

Chapter 10

Edward was wallowing in guilt. Then he felt more guilty for wallowing.

He really had no intention of ruining his family's Christmas spirit, but his mood was projecting onto others, creating a thick atmosphere of tension.

"Edward, this one is for you," said Esme, handing him a gift bag. He pulled out the gift inside and examined it.

"Thank you, I will definitely get a lot of use out of this," he said politely. It was an insulated travel mug, inscribed with the words Social Workers Solve Problems.

More like create them, he thought bitterly, setting the mug down gently at his feet next to the small pile of gifts he received. The exchange continued, and he tried his best to stay interested, but his mind was elsewhere.

Alice sat on the floor between Jasper's legs. She was usually bouncing with excitement on Christmas morning, but today she seemed tense, no doubt absorbing the negative energy her twin was emitting. Jasper was fidgeting uncomfortably, the smile on his face forced. This was the first Christmas morning he shared with the Cullens, and it was hardly cheerful.

Esme sat next to Carlisle on the couch. Their smiles also appeared forced as they both did their best to keep the atmosphere light and festive.

Sitting alone in an armchair in the corner, Edward kept reviewing the events that led to Bella's unwarranted punishment. He knew he never should have approached Bella in the library when he found her crying. He shouldn't have put his arms around her. And he definitely shouldn't have challenged James so publicly. He could have just called over to the infirmary and had them cover over to check on her. Instead, he had acted on pure instinct, putting them both at risk. Moving forward, he couldn't ever afford to lose control as far as she was concerned. There was too much at stake- his job, her safety, and possibly even her freedom.

But how could he have left the woman he loved alone, miserably sobbing on the floor?

She was in segregation for almost eighty hours, completely alone. She must have been terrified the entire time. Of course he didn't know firsthand what it was like, he knew that they were left alone for 23 hours a day, and given an hour to walk up and down the corridor of the unit, supervised and silent. The lights always stayed on, and prisoners who have experienced it, even for short periods of time, reported delirium, insomnia... even thoughts of suicide. He couldn't understand why this was happening to her, of all people. She didn't deserve any of it.

When she delivered his mail the day before, Edward felt like he was talking to a completely different person. Had she realized she didn't share his feelings after all? Was she traumatized from being in isolation? Or was she just being especially careful? He hoped that she was just being safe, which he had to admit was probably the best thing for her to do.

Yet he couldn't resist passing her that note and his little green worry stone on his way out the door Christmas Eve. He hoped it would bring her some comfort, but selfishly he also wanted to leave a piece of himself with her.

He knew now that there couldn't be any more notes or secret meetings. They both had to walk a precarious line with James. Going to the warden about Bella's unfair and unfounded punishment without proof wouldn't help. Telling Mike about his suspicion got him nowhere. If he stepped out of line and lost his job, he would never see her at all. But even on the inside, he had no real way to protect her.

When Charlie expressed his worries about the things that could happen to women in prisons, Edward knew that he was right. He went to bed every night thinking of all the ways she could be hurt, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He hated feeling helpless, but that's exactly what he was. The best thing he could do for Bella right now was to leave her alone.

But it hurt so much.

"Well, I think that's the last of the gifts," Esme announced. "Would anyone like some coffee?"

"Oh, let me help, please," Jasper said, jumping to his feet. Edward wasn't sure if Jasper wanted to make a good impression on his parents, or if he was just anxious to get out the room. He reasoned it was probably both.

"I'll clean up all this paper," Alice volunteered, flitting out of the room in search of a trash bag.

"I'll help Alice," Edward offered.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to catch up with you for a few minutes. Can we go to my study?" Carlisle asked him.

Edward tensed, but nodded and followed him up the stairs. In his younger years, being asked to join Carlisle in his study meant he had done something wrong and a lecture was coming. Carlisle never raised a hand or even raised his voice to either of them. Instead, he would discuss what they had done wrong, explain the consequences, and let them know that he was disappointed with their behavior. Even at 25, he didn't ever want Carlisle to be disappointed with him. He respected him to much for that.

Carlisle took his usual seat behind his large oak desk, and Edward sat in the armchair facing him. Carlisle was silent as he tented his fingers over his mouth. He often did this when he carefully choosing his words.

"I'm sorry," Edward offered, before his father could say a word. "I know I'm not acting like myself. I didn't mean to bring down the mood this morning. I'll apologize to Mom as well."

Carlisle frowned and furrowed his brow. "Son, are you under the impression that I'm upset with you?"

"Well, you called me into your study, so I assumed…" Edward trailed off.

Carlisle chuckled. "I didn't realize I had made my study a place to be feared. It was always my intention to make this a safe place for talking about our problems- a place where you and your sister would feel comfortable coming in and opening up to me. I can see now where I went wrong. We should have had more good conversations."

"We've had plenty of good conversations," Edward was quick to point out. "Just not in here."

"Well, moving forward, please don't see my study as a place for criticism and lectures."

"Aren't you going to lecture me about worrying about things outside of my control, or caution me to stay away from Bella? I know Mom filled you in."

"On the contrary, I wanted to ask about her well-being. She is a very sweet girl, actually, woman now, and I think very highly of her and her father."

"Mom said you didn't know Bella."

"Your mother has never met her, but I knew her and her family well. If you recall, Bella was not so graceful in her youth. Her clumsiness led to more than a handful of minor ER visits. Plus, she volunteered there. You probably didn't know that, since she started when she turned sixteen, after you left for college."

"You're right; I didn't know that. I do remember seeing her at the hospital once, though. She was giving out gifts on the pediatric unit."

"Ah, yes. She wasn't an official volunteer then. Her father's friend Waylon loved kids, but never had any of his own. He loved to play Santa Claus. Bella apparently helped him every year- it was her idea, and she loved to do it."

Edward thought back to that day Christmas Eve of his senior year when they crossed paths in the hospital.

He stood uncomfortably at the nurse's station, repeatedly checking his watch. It was Christmas Eve, and he had plans to meet up with a few friends from school at First Beach for a bonfire. He'd never attended one before and was looking forward to seeing what all the fuss was.

Carlisle volunteered to work that night for another Attending Physician who had young children at home. With Edward and Alice being older, Christmas morning wasn't as big of a deal- it could wait until later in the afternoon after Carlisle got a few hours of sleep.

Esme packed a dinner for him and baked cookies for the nursing staff, and Edward was waiting for his father to emerge from a patient room so he could deliver it. As he waited for his father, something bright green appeared in his periphery. He glanced over an started to laugh.

Bella had just entered the Emergency Room lobby, dressed as a Christmas elf, complete with striped green socks and pointy shoes with bells on the tips. Upon closer inspection, he saw that she was even donning pointy plastic ears. She had a messenger bag draped across her body, and was dragging a large cloth sack behind her, which was almost as big as she was.

"What in the world are you doing?" he asked her, still laughing.

Not reacting to his amusement at all, she answered earnestly, "Delivering toys to good little girls and boys, of course. And yourself?"

"Delivering food to good doctors and nurses," he answered. "So where is Santa, little elf?"

"I lost him around Admitting, but we're supposed to rendezvous at Pediatrics."

"Rendezvous?" Edward asked, bemused.

"It's a wonderful word, and very underutilized in the English language."

"Maybe because it's a French word," he said, flicking one of her plastic ears gently. He couldn't help but be bewitched by this little elf. "Do you need some help with those? I can come with you."

"I'm sorry, but that's impossible. Santa doesn't work with humans."

"Isn't Santa a human?" Edward argued.

"No, he's Santa- duh," she responded, rolling her eyes.

"Of course."

"But if you really want to come…"

"I do," he insisted.

"I might be able to sneak you in." She dug around in her messenger bag for a few seconds. "Ah-ha!" she said triumphantly, holding up a headband with outrageously large felt reindeer horns attached. She reached up and placed it on his head.

"Do you think I'll get by Santa like this?" he asked, amused.

She studied him very seriously for a moment then shook her head. "No, definitely not. Hang on." She reached back into her bag and pulled out something that looked suspiciously like makeup. He recognized it from the array of products that Alice routinely left on their shared bathroom counter.

He took a step back from her and held his hands up in protest. "No way- you are not putting makeup on me."

"Trust me," she said, imploring him with her big doe eyes. He knew it was pointless to resist. He would do anything for her.

"Alright…" he said reluctantly.

She smiled and reached up to start coloring in the tip of his nose. When finished, she took out a compact mirror and showed him. He had to admit, the black nose added to the effect. Before he could compliment her creativity, he heard a throat clear behind him and turned around to see an obviously amused Carlisle staring at him.

"Hey, Dad! I was just going to help drop off some gifts in Pediatrics."

"You look good, son," Carlisle commented.

"Thanks- um, Mom made dinner, and the tin is for the nurses." Quieter he plead, "Please don't tell anyone about this."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Carlisle answered with a smile.

Bella, clearly having overheard his request, said, "You're not embarrassed, are you, Prancer?"

"Prancer?" he asked, in mock offense. "No way, I'm Blitzen."

"Nah, you're too pretty to be Blitzen."

"You think I'm pretty?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well, you are sort of beautiful," she said, flushing pink.

"I think the word you're looking for is 'ruggedly handsome.''

"That's two words. How about Comet?"

"I can settle on Comet," he agreed.

But he would have been Prancer if she'd asked again. He knew he would never say no to her.

"So, how is Bella coping?" Carlisle asked, pulling Edward out of his memory.

"It's hard to say. I hardly ever see her. She was in solitary for a few days. One of the guards is targeting her on purpose, I'm sure of it." Edward told Carlisle the whole story, starting with the library and leaving nothing out.

"Edward, if this man is treating Bella unfairly, you need to tell someone," Carlisle said, aghast.

"I told my supervisor, but he didn't believe me. I'm worried about pushing the issue. If I lose my job, I can't protect her at all."

"Do you think Bella is in danger?"

"I don't know," Edward groaned, tugging at the ends of his hair anxiously. "I don't know how far James is willing to take this. I don't trust him, but I'm also afraid that if I go to the warden, especially without any concrete proof, things could get a lot worse for her. I don't care if I get fired, but I want to be where she is, just in case something happens to her. I want to be there for her. But even if I am there, I can't do anything for her. I'm so conflicted. I feel helpless."

"This is quite a predicament," Carlisle agreed.

"What would you do, if you were me?" Edward asked.

"Well, there is nothing normal about this situation, so I'm not quite sure. As your father, I would tell you to keep to yourself and stay out of it. Don't involve yourself at all, and hope the problem resolves itself. You've done a good thing by finding her a lawyer, and that's all you can safely do."

"That's what I figured you'd say," Edward grumbled.

"However," Carlisle continued. "If it was your mother in there, I would break just about every rule I needed to to keep a close eye on her, collect what evidence I need, and nail that bastard's ass to the wall."

"That's how I'm leaning," Edward admitted. "But honestly, the way she acted so detached yesterday, I'm worried that she wants nothing to do with me. She wouldn't agree to meet me when I asked."

"She's protecting herself. If you were in her situation, you wouldn't dare step a toe out of line. There are no easy answers here, but you need to focus on what you can control. One thing is absolutely certain is that there is nothing we can do to fix the situation at this moment. So what do you say we join the family and see if we can salvage what's left of this Christmas?"

"You're right. Thanks for the talk."

"Please don't ever be afraid to come into my study. You are an adult now, and I'm damn proud of the man that you've become. I can hardly see a reason I would ever need to lecture you. But if I find one, I'll give you fair warning before you come inside."

"That sounds like a good plan," Edward agreed.

Later that evening, Edward laid in his childhood bed, flipping through his senior yearbook that he'd discovered on his bookshelf. He was searching for pictures of Bella, of course. He found her headshot easily in the Freshmen section. She looked adorably uncomfortable sitting for a posed photo. He continued flipping through the book and smiled when he came across another one that was taken on Halloween. Bella was hardly recognizable in a long blonde wig and full robes from the Harry Potter series. In the photo, she stood pointing her wand angrily at her brother, who was holding his hands up in surrender. He would later come to find that she was dressed as Luna Lovegood, her favorite character. He also later found out that she made her radish earrings by hand. She told him that Luna Lovegood was her favorite character because she speaks her mind and never apologizes for who she is.

"That's how I'd like to be," she had told him.

He remembered that after that conversation he immediately purchased the entire series and digested it, just to feel connected with her. Hecontinued to search for more pictures of Bella when he heard a quiet knock at the door. "Come in, Alice," he said, already expecting her.

She breezed into the room and sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, starting at him intently, but saying nothing.

"Something on your mind, Ally?"

She stayed quiet for a moment, then blurted, "You have a compulsive need to save everyone."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No… it's a good thing to want to try to help people. But it's the compulsion that's the issue- the obsession. I saw this when Elizabeth was dying. You were making yourself sick trying to find answers that weren't there. She made her choices and accepted the consequences, but you were convinced there was some miracle treatment that could help her. You tried to donate part of your liver, for Christ's sake."

Alice wasn't wrong. After reconnecting with his mother and finding that she had end-stage liver disease, he had been frantic trying to connect with her physicians and explore treatment options. Due to her history of drug abuse, she didn't qualify for the national organ recipient list, but he was ready and willing to risk undergoing surgery to give her part of his liver. She wouldn't even allow him to get tested though. As Alice said, she had made her decision. He didn't want her to sign the Do-Not-Resuscitate order. He begged and pled with her, but as Alice said, she had made her decision. But this wasn't the same situation.

"This is different, Alice. Bella didn't make bad decisions, except for maybe trying to have a relationship with her mother."

"But your emotional response is the same. You can't control everything. You just need to let this play out. Do what you can, but you have to stop obsessing."

"I can't. I love her."

"I know hun," she said with a sigh.

"Have you… seen anything? Any indication of how this is going to turn out? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?"

"No… it's still dark," she said thoughtfully. "But that doesn't mean that the light isn't there. It just means the tunnel might be longer than we thought."