Author's Note:
The second part of the two-parter. This one slightly less dark than the other though still contains TRIGGER WARNINGS: for language, child abuse, child death, mentions of rape, and spousal abuse. We only have one more chapter after this before we hit the movie plot. As always please review and let me know what you think and if there is anywhere I can improve. I've also gone back through the earlier chapters to fix some grammatical mistakes and a couple of plot holes I accidentally made regarding the timeline. No major plot changes. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
Astrid dropped her keys three times before managing to open the door. Her nerves were absolutely fried. Having worked through the night and into the day. Her hands not moving like she wanted them to. Finally managing to put the keys in the lock. Turning it with a click. Opening the door forcefully with her shoulder. Slamming the door behind her. Startling Steve, Shamira, and Bucky. Who were in all their usual places. She didn't even greet them. Didn't even really see them. Heading straight to the kitchen. Opening up all the cupboards. Scanning the shelves for what she was looking for.
"Where is it?!" she growled not finding what she was looking for. Until Shamira showed up by her side. Bottle of whiskey in hand. Probably the strongest drink they had. Astrid grabbed it. Drinking it straight from the bottle. She whirled around to look at Bucky and Steve. Breathing hard. Looking like she had just run a marathon. Both of them were standing up. Looking at her with worried eyes.
"Hard day," she stated harshly taking another swig. Slowly lowering herself to the floor Not having the energy to stand. Besides if she tried to walk she would probably just fall over. Shamira sitting next to her.
"How old?" Shamira asked softly. Placing a hand on her opposite shoulder. Astrid leaned into her. Resting her head on Shamira's shoulder.
"Ten." Astrid shook her head. "She was ten." Pressing the bottle to her lips. The last swig finishing the bottle. She tossed it at the wall smashing it to pieces. The three of them flinching at the moment. At the sound of shattering glass. Scattered on the floor.
Astrid started laughing. Laughing hard. Unable to do anything else. Sitting up. Shaking her head. "You know. I'm a great doctor. No a phenomenal one. I've done surgeries that most surgeons would never dream of doing. Saved people who were considered lost causes. I've done miracles. And yet she still died. That little girl died." She shook her head. "I did everything right. I made that monster give up their location in less than five minutes. We got there in a perfect amount of time. I helped pull them out of that…that cage with no further injuries. Treated her on our way to the hospital. And the surgery went off without a hitch. Every suture perfect. Every cut in the exact place. And the girl still died. Lasted only three hours after her surgery. Her heart giving out." Astrid buried her face in her hands. "And we have no idea why."
"It's a lot for a person to handle," Shamira replied rubbing her back. "Much less a little girl. You know that better than most." Oh, she knew. She knew alright but that didn't make it any better. "But you gave her a fighting chance. And at least she died free." Astrid didn't say anything. Just needing time to decompress. Let the anger and sadness course through her veins. Normally she would store it in the deep dark place. But something kept this case from going there. And she didn't know why. All she could see was that little girl with raven hair. Eyes the color of amber curled up in a hospital bed way too big for her.
She felt someone pressed into her other side. Looking up and opening one eye. Seeing Steve sitting down next to her. Rubbing her back. It brought her back. To their apartment. To him and Shamira and Bucky. Making her heart swell. Giving him a small smile. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bucky taking out a broom and cleaning up the mess she made. Hearing the scrape of the broom on the hardwood floor.
"I'm usually not this bad," Astrid continued. Bucky stopping his sweeping. Leaving the room quiet except for her voice. "But sometimes. Very rarely a case just hits me. I guess this is one of those times." She brought her hand up. Gripping her hair tightly in a ball. "I was the one who told the parents that we rescued the kids. The joy on their faces. It was…. indescribable." It truly was. The sheer amount of happiness on their faces. Finding out that the children they thought dead were actually alive. It made Astrid want to talk with Steve about having kids sooner. Just so they could experience that joy that came with creating life. "Only for their child to die a few hours later." It hurt. It hurt so much. To give such hope only to have it taken away. Astrid had no problem doing it when she needed. When it was to obtain information. But to do it to an innocent family. To people who just lost their child. That's what cut Astrid deep. Because it went against her code. To never harm those who didn't deserve it. And God did that family not deserve it. Instead of being able to bring their child home, they had to pick out a coffin. Astrid hoped that she would never have to feel such pain.
"And it's not just her. The ones left are barely clinging on." Families refusing to leave their bedsides. Not that Astrid could blame them. She wouldn't be able to either. "My team doing everything we can to keep them alive. But there's nothing we can do except wait the night. They are going to live or die and there's not a damn thing we can do about it." She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself." All I can do is go back to work in the morning and hope that they are all alive."
"They will be," Steve stated. She looked up at him. He gave her a determined look. Despite his small frame, his presence took up the whole room. Immediately lifting up her spirits. Steve had that gift. He could inspire hope in the darkest of times. "They will survive. Because you are their doctor. You make sure that people survive. No matter what happens to them. No matter how sick, or hurt or broken they are." He took her hand and placed it on his chest. Interlacing their fingers. "That's what you do for me."
"Me as well," Shamira added on. Astrid turned to look at her. Her rock. Her person. Her soulmate. The woman who made sure that she was alive today. She gave Astrid a smile. Strengthening her resolve even further. "I wouldn't be here today without you Astrid. Nor would countless others. Those girls will survive."
Bucky had resumed sweeping. Cleaning up the last of the glass. "You make an impact on people Astrid." He was leaning on the broomstick. Completely relaxed. Which only calmed Astrid further. "They will survive."
She lifted her head back up. Leaning against the kitchen cupboard. "At least you all seem to have more faith than I do." She sighed as Bucky threw away the glass. "Sorry for the mess."
"At least you had the decency to finish it first." Astrid had a feeling that Bucky would have some choice words for her if she didn't. "Though you're going to regret it later."
Astrid bobbed her head back and forth. "I have something to help with that actually." She started chuckling again. Wiping the tears from her eyes. She stood up. Helped by the others. Until she fully got back on her feet. "I think I'm going to head back. Stay there until this is done. I just needed to get out of there for a moment. Away from it all."
She fished out a bottle and a syringe out of her bag. Rolling up her sleeve and injecting her in the arm. Astrid felt herself sober up immediately. Stuff worked like a dream. She took a deep breath. Shaking out her limps.
Shamira pulled her into a hug. "Tell us how everything goes."
Astrid embraced her. "I will." Once she let her go Steve kissed her. Giving her all his support and love. Finally, she was pulled into an embrace by Bucky.
"If anyone can pull it off you can," he stated. "You're the doc who performs miracles."
Astrid gave him one last squeeze before turning. Leaving the apartment. As soon as she closed the door the three of them looked at each other. Steve and Bucky turned towards Shamira.
"How often does that happen?" Steve asked softly. Shamira let out a sigh. Pouring herself a glass of wine.
"Five times," Shamira replied. "Five times have I seen Astrid like that. Always it involves kids." She took a sip before placing a glass on her forehead. "I think it's because the cases remind her of herself. Of her childhood. Of the powerlessness, she felt then." She took a deep breath. "It's easy to forget you know. She makes it easy to forget. But then there are some moments. Moments where you remember that she was beaten and raped for years. Those girls… those girls must bring back so much pain. Normally she channels it into her work but even the best of them break once in a while."
"Does she normally get better that quickly?" Bucky asked. Steve looked like he was going to be sick. Closing his eyes and holding a hand to his stomach. Bucky resting a hand on his shoulder. Rubbing it softly with his thumb.
"Her recovery time improves each time happens. Given enough time I think it's eventually going to stop happening." She drained her glass of wine. Placing it down on the counter. Looking up at the two guys who had become such an important part of her life. In their lives. "In the meantime, all we can do is support her. Just as she does for us."
Steve nodded. Looking slightly less pale. "What do you normally do?" Steve asked turning to Shamira.
She shrugged her shoulders. "Honestly, there isn't much you can do. You know Astrid."
He had a half-smile on his face. Closed his eyes. "I know." He glanced between Bucky and Shamira. "She'll tell us what she needs. When the time is right."
The three of them went back to their normal activities. Though none of them could focus on it. Each of them distracted by what was going on. Their minds caught up in the whirlwind of it all. Even when it grew later in the night. All three of them trying to go to bed. Shamira laying on top of Bucky's chest. Listening to his breathing. She knew he was just as awake as he was.
When she heard the door creak open Shamira immediately jumped to her feet. Bucky hoping to his feet just as quickly. Steve was already in the living room when they got there. Shamira wasn't sure he even went to bed. Staying up all night. Waiting for her to come home. The three of them watched as Astrid opened the door. Looking haggard. Exhaustion clear through her body. But there was a spark in her eyes. The joy emanating from her body evident.
"They'll live," Astrid sighed coming in. Dropping her stuff on the floor. Too tired to place it on the hook. "I had to put all of them under the knife again. But they'll live." Using what energy she had left she collapsed on the couch. "The son of the bitch poisoned them. Not deliberately mind you but where he kept them. Poison leeched into their system. I only noticed after I opened up the second girl. More time had passed. It became more obvious. Luckily, I was able to come up with an antidote. Just in time." She let out a sigh. "The first one got the largest dose. At least twice the amount as the others. With her nothing, we did mattered. By the time we got to her, the poor girl was already dead." Her entire body was trembling. Exhaustion seeped into her very bones. "The poison had destroyed her body. Even with the antidote, we wouldn't have been able to save her. We just bought her a little more time."
"Enough time for her to see her parents one more time," Shamira added in. Curling up on the couch next to her. Astrid lifted her arm up so Shamira could snuggle into her chest. "There's very little I wouldn't do for a chance to see my parents again."
"It's a powerful thing to give," Steve replied sitting down in front of the couch. Astrid's hand reaching out to play with his hair. She didn't need to read his mind to know what he was thinking. His parents at the forefront of his mind. Astrid felt a pain in her chest. He was the only one of them who hadn't met both of his parents. Having never really known his father outside of the stories his mom used to tell.
Bucky sat down next to Steve. Wrapping an arm around him. Steve leaning into him. Nestling his head into his shoulder. Shamira reaching over to play with Bucky's hair. At that moment the four of them became one. Like it was one heart beating. And despite how tired they all were it wasn't time for sleep. Wanting to spend as much time with each other as possible.
Bucky chuckled. "We make quite the group don't we." They all hummed in agreement. What they had was special and each of them knew it.
"I'm surprised your all still awake," Astrid mumbled. All three of them shot her a look. "Okay, maybe not surprised per se." She let out a yawn which started a chain reaction. "We all need to sleep. I got the day off tomorrow as well."
"You can do that?" Steve asked standing up. The others slowly getting to their feet as well.
"I'm the Chief. Of course, I can." Steve took her hand and gently lead her to the bedroom. Saying good night to the others. Astrid let out a sigh as soon as her body hit the mattress. Steve slowly undressing her. Lifting up her limbs to help him out. Before pulling up the covers around her and snuggling in himself. She didn't even notice that he shed his own clothes as well. Pressing himself deeply against her chest.
"You're so good to me," Astrid mumbled.
Steve smirked. "I'm married to a hero. A woman who saved four girls today. Despite the odds. You only deserve the best."
Even though she was exhausted she kissed him gently. Softly. Snaking her hand onto his chest so she could feel his heartbeat underneath her fingers. It wasn't steady but it was there. And that is what she needed right now.
"I love you, Steve Rogers," she said softly pressing her forehead against his.
"I love you, Astrid Rogers," he replied. Moving his hands to her back. Pulling her even closer. He wanted her to be as close as possible. Something that she wanted desperately as well. Wrapping her arms around him. Taking in his scent. The feel of his skin against her. Intertwining her legs around him as well. Becoming a jumble of limbs. Taking a moment to just soak each other in. Before letting her eyes fall shut and drifting off to sleep. In the arms of the man she so dearly loved.