Chapter 23

The moment Rhordan had left the guild build she was immediately assaulted by a flurry of yellow feathers and angry chirping, Gideon had reeled around to protect her when he saw what was attacking her. Falling to the ground in laughter, he provided no help to Rhordan who had to find a way to assuage the angry yellow fluff ball.

"Aurelia, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you outside for so long." Rhordan pleaded with the ill tempered Sundew Lyrien that assaulted her, truly apologetic for leaving her new friend along for so long. Aurelia settled onto Gideon's shoulder after he picked himself up, angrily glaring at her with a seething force of hatred and contempt. That hatred disappeared as quickly as it arrived as Gideon pick her off his shoulder and set about stroking her feathers and scratching her crest as he whispered words of apology.

Aurelia happily chirruped before launching herself into the air, glaring once more at Rhordan she flew around Gideon and scrutinised the sword for a second. She merely chirruped once more before flying over and landing onto her shoulder, settling herself in as Rhordan rubbed her crest.

"Glad she is alright, though I don't think she likes the sword much." Gideon cheerfully remarked, earning a chirrup from the bird in question, drawing a short laugh from them. They stood near the entrance to the guild building, drawing the eyes of a few individuals who happened to be passing by.

"We should get going, we need to get this done before nightfall." Rhordan reluctantly stated, neither of them had put much thought into the question they had to ask of themselves. Setting off down the road that Chrysanthis had told them to follow, they stayed silent as they walked past many people going about their day.

The twin suns glaring down upon them as they passed by rows of large stone buildings, the construct of the town opened out as they left the central area, breaking off into multiple roads leading around the town centre. Eventually the broke into fractured roads expanding from the main path, extending out to various little cluster of buildings and smaller hovels clumped haphazardly together.

Travelling on the dirt proved difficult at times as several carriages pulled by various types of horses took up most of the road, neither stopping nor even attempting to avoid those on the road. As they walked along the side of the road, they kept an eye out for whatever could be considered a farm as they had passed by the odd building or construct. A notable structure that had then pausing for a second to admire was a large beautifully constructed mansion with surrounding stone walls, only an open arch with two guards stood close to the road with the only view into the estate.

"Move along!" One of the two heavily armoured guards yelled at them when they stood for longer they should, their yellow clothing under their armour matched that of the adventurer group they had seen in the exam. Moving quickly onwards, they travelled far down the road before they even attempted to cast a glance over their shoulder, finding the guards still standing resolutely in front of the gates.

"I doubt I could stand there all day under this heat." Gideon tried to spark a conversation between them, they had remained silent after they had left Bardia, neither attempting to say anything. Rhordan snorted slightly as she tried to imagine Gideon of all people being not only a guard, but standing all day in the same spot, not a good combination.

"You would be gone before the first hour." Rhordan joked, hiding a small smile as Gideon passed a glare at her, somewhat irked though not arguing with her words. Aurelia chipped in and chirruped a single note of agreement with Rhordan, shuffling slightly upon her perch.

"Yeah yeah, whatever…" Gideon mockingly dismissed her words, smiling slightly at managing to open a dialogue with his usually silent teammate. The expansive grasslands around them were scattered with distant clusters of buildings, smoke rising from their chimneys, animals loitering around the edges of the small villages. The road before them curved around alongside a large dense forest that expanding far into the distance, only a glimmer of a soft dark red could be seen to their far right, an indication of the edge of the dead lands Gideon had seen from the forest. "So… have you thought about what we are going to do?"

"About what?" Rhordan dismissed his question, hoping to not discuss the task before them. She had been silently hoping that they wouldn't have to do anything beyond just turning up and scaring away the goblins, yet with their luck, the goblins may be the least of their worries.

"I know that in our time as Titans, we have never killed another living being, and if we are going to survive here then we may have to." Gideon sourly explained, hating himself for uttering those word while knowing that they had to be said. He hoped that they could come to a clear consensus before they arrived at the farm, if they went in there without reaffirming it in their minds they could potentially walk right into their deaths.

"In our time as Titan… What do you mean by that Gideon?" Rhordan coldly asked, her nightmare and endless questions from the night before reared their ugly heads as his words registered in her mind. She had been about to talk of doing what they must and only killing if other options proved impossible, though his words had rattled around for long enough for her to gather that Gideon was hiding something, something important.

"I… I mean in the time that we have known each other…" Gideon tried to correct himself, only to fall short of the mark as she levelled a glare at him, daring him to try and lie to her again. He knew he had been got, and no matter what, this was going to ruin their relationship regardless of whether he told the truth or not. "Look, it isn't something I like to talk about, so drop it and lets return to the original question."

"Oh. No! We are not dropping this." Rhordan harshly snapped at him, her glare intensifying far beyond the level that Aurelia managed earlier. She had had enough of the secrets, after knowing that everything about him had been false it had forced her to learn anew what kind of person he was, who he truly was. The more she found out, the less she actually knew him. With her upbringing of isolation, and being forced to retrain her emotions, making friends was beyond difficult for her. So when she finally had four friends that she could rely on and trust, she found herself willing to do anything to protect them.

Now, with the realisation that everything she knew of the goof ball, the team's comedic jokester, was all a lie. It hurt her that someone acted around her to this extent, regardless if it was for their sake or his own. Rhordan had thought that since they were a team of friends who relied on one another that he could have come to her and told her the truth, that he would seek out at least one of the other titans to confide in rather than pretend to be a complete stranger among them.

Rhordan had thought she could move past it, that she could accept that he had lied to them all to protect them from knowing the truth about his powers, but there was more hidden beneath the surface. So much more that she was sure that no matter how much she managed to get out of him, it would never reach the bottom of the well that was Gideon.

"You lie to us daily! Your character, your personality, your history, its all fake isn't it?!" Rhordan roared at him, the frustration of not knowing burning a hidden hole in her, one that she thought she could have contained when she came to the realisation last night that she trusted him. She still did, she trusted him to work by her side and help her as much as she would do for him, but she no longer considered him her friend. Not anymore. "Is anything you ever tell me the truth?! Back there with Baltharn, you lied so well that if I wasn't in on it, I would have believed it!"

Gideon remained silent, unsure how to answer her, deciding whether the truth would help them get past this or if it will destroy what little friendship was left between them. He sighed deeply as she breathed heavily from her rant, afraid to look at her encase he caught a glimpse of her eyes. He knew that there would be hurt and betrayal hidden within those magnificent amethyst orbs, it would break him to just look into her eyes and see the pain he has caused.

"It was never about you, or the other Titans. Hell, not even the Doom Patrol know, and Mento still prides himself on thinking he knows everything about me." Gideon coldly laughed, a dark look crossing his otherwise angular features, darkness dulling his bright green eyes. He stared off into the distance, still pondering the choice before him, knowing that no matter what they would never be the same again. "Look… there are somethings about me that no one should ever know… not even close friends."

His words struck a cord in her, she knew that whatever he had hidden could be ground breaking but to go to the extent as to not tell the people who would literally risk their lives for him put it to a whole other level. Though, she was sure that her heart plucked at him calling her his close friend, why, she wasn't sure or cared as she wanted the truth from him.

"Friends look out for each other, they help each other and work together to become better TOGETHER!" Rhordan roared once again, thankful that was a lull in traffic on the road lest they would be attracting everyone's attention. Gideon shut his eyes for moment before sighing deeply, calmly thinking through his options. His reluctance to speak spoke volume to her, pain filled her heart as she shook her head, a tear shedding from her eye as she stormed off down the road. "You are not my friend!"

"I was a villain…" Gideon reluctantly admitted, his words carrying just enough volume to reach her, startling her out of her flurry of emotions. Rhordan stood stunned, unable to process what he had said, doubtful she could as those four words rattled around in her mind. She stood there with her back to him, incapable of moving or even turning to face him, afraid that if she did then she would break. "Long before I met the Doom Patrol… I was a villain… that robbed, stole, destroyed… and hurt innocents."

Rhordan struggled to keep her heart from beating out of control, each one of his words harshly struck a chord within her, threatening to tear her apart. The fact that he was a former villain didn't seem to bother as much as it should have, it was the fact that he hid from them when she knew that they would have understand as he was young and possible ostracised from society because of his green skin. A part of her knew that there was a lot more to this story, fear mounting inside her as she realised the crumbling image of Gideon was already crumbling into dust, this might just destroy it completely.

"I wish I could say that I was forced to be a villain but… but I did it for my self-preservation." Gideon harshly spoke, his words carrying a deadly poison that he was directing towards himself. Self-loathing and disgust at himself painfully evident as he spoke, his words crashing into Rhordan and broke through whatever opinion she had of him, confusion overriding the fear as she listened intently to him. "So long as I lived, I didn't care who I hurt… or who I killed…"

A lightning bolt struck through Rhordan, her heart stopping at the sudden burst of emotion that crashed through her. Pieces of a jigsaw that filled her mind suddenly started piecing together, bits of information that were irrelevant and others that didn't seem connect suddenly were. A new image formed in her mind as the pieces clicked together, an image that she thought couldn't possibly resemble the Titan's most hated enemy almost to a T, yet it did. In her mind, all she could see was Gideon and Slade, standing side by side as almost equals. Though something was wrong with that comparison, an edge of darkness that had coated Gideon in her nightmares coated this version of him as well.

"Why?" Rhordan's voice broke with that one word, she could barely contain her raging thoughts to utter it as she knew there was more, pieces were still missing from the puzzle. A sigh echoed from behind her, one of a hidden pain and suffering, one that gave pause to her comparison of him and Slade.

"After my parents were killed in an accident that I could have saved them from… my uncle took me in." Gideon grumbled, he had broke when she had stormed off and now she wouldn't even look at him. He desired to never tell another living soul about his past, yet before him stood the person he wanted nothing more than to protect with everything he had within him. No matter what, if she hated him after this, he would stay by her side and protect her regardless. "He saw potential in my shifting abilities, torturing me to perform criminal acts for him…"

Gideon bitterly laughed, a sound that sent another wave of confusion running through Rhordan. She was reeling from knowing that he not only lost his parents, but also suffered greatly at the hands of a member of his own family, and with his clear tone of self-hatred startled her out of her confusion. Turning to face him, she found him glaring off into the distance, self-loathing burning brightly in his emerald orbs.

"Why do you hate yourself?" Rhordan could barely stop herself from asking the burning question in her mind, hoping that she would get the answer she longed for. She didn't exactly know what she wanted to hear, wishing that he wasn't as evil as he stated himself to be.

"Because I had the power to stop it all from happening, I could have escaped or fought back or anything!" Gideon roared in frustration, clutching his head as he scrunched his face up in rage. He hated himself for his weakness, the people he could have saved or avoided hurting had he the strength to fight back. "My parents told me to fly away because I couldn't become a big enough monster to lift them from the boat, I had the power to save them and I could barely be larger than a sodding sparrow."

Tears flowed freely from his eyes, each one breaking off a piece in Rhordan's heart as she watched the once strong and stoic person fall apart before her eyes. Mindlessly, she wrapped her arms around him, holding him as tightly as she could to stop the pieces from falling apart.

"You're not a failure… you're not a monster… you were young and scared… no one could fault you for that…" Rhordan's voice broke, she knew what it was like to hate yourself, to loath your very existence. She was born to be a portal for an evil monster who wanted to kill all life on earth, and if it wasn't for the Titans then that's all she would have been. If they could be there for her, she had to be there for them, and knowing he had been living with this all the time she shut herself away had her feeling somewhat ashamed that she bullied him. He was only trying to help her and she shut him down, and despite the amount of times he got rejected, he always rebounded and came back to help her.

"That's exactly why I hate myself." Gideon chuckled coldly, shaking his head though not resisting her embrace. "I was young, weak and scared. I didn't know where to go so I stayed, taking beating after beating whenever I happened to just exist."

"So what!" Rhordan roared, shaking Gideon out of his self-loathing episode, locking eyes with her. Her eyes held anger and compassion, two emotions he never thought could work so well in her beautiful amethyst orbs. "So what! When we are young, we make dumb mistakes, you can't berate yourself when there was nothing you could have done."

"I could have…" Gideon started, only to be shut down by her glare daring him to continue. Silenced, he closed his mouth and just gazed into her eyes, losing himself in the swirling emotions passing through them.

"Could have what? What could you have done? Lose your life alongside your parents? Die trying to fight back against a monster?" Rhordan asked rhetorically, daring him to refute her words. She knew that he wasn't to blame, that she doubted Robin would have managed differently in the same situation. She watched his dull eyes brighten up as he listened to her words, a slight smile gracing his face as he stared at her. "I know what its like to think about everything you could have done differently, I know what its like to hate yourself because of what you have done. How many times do you think I have thought about ending myself? End the prophecy before it had a chance to begin."

Gideon stayed quiet, unable to answer her or even process her words. He knew she hated herself for being the portal, its was among the reasons he wanted to break her out of her shell, but he didn't know how badly her hatred for herself was. Doing the one thing he could think of, he embraced her completely, pulling her into him and just holding her there. Both staying there under the scorching dual suns, uncaring to anything other than each other.

"I can't promise that I can change… that I can forgive myself… or even tell you everything from my past… but I will try…"

"That's all I can ask for."

Author's Note: Short chapter, I think I am alternating though why I don't know. I do have a new story I am working on, the post-apocalyptic story I mentioned earlier is on hold until further notice, the new one I hope will come out well as I am using a new style of writing for the introduction.

As for this chapter, I hope it hasn't come across as too romantic there at the end, I want it to be the start of a blooming romance (I.e. the spark). The road was a way for me to gather things together and open up a dialogue about the doubts and feelings that Raven had tried to bury, and I hope I played it off well.

About Garfield's past, I originally want to play him off as having a horrific past that he tries to get over by bottling it up and ignoring it, damaging him to the point that Raven had to force him to open up. Then I started writing and found the self-hatred role worked better to explain his roguish stoic true self, someone who hated himself for his weakness and striving to become strong so that he would never be in those situations again. With the previous chapter on his not taking a martial art was because he did believe martial arts would help him when he was in his animal forms, so abstaining from them made sense as he doubted he would lose his abilities any time soon.

Aurelia is back! I was worried that I kept the feathery fiend away for too long until I wrote about her, she isn't the kind of character that I could keep writing consistently so from now on I will mention her and make some witty scene with her but generally she will always be by Raven's side unless specifically mentioned to be elsewhere.

Comments

Frog31791 – Thank you for the comment, its appreciated. I wanted this story to be serious but a true adventure, and any adventure has its ups and downs, as well as comedic moments. As for Raven helping Garfield, I am not sure if she did it to help him or to stop him from pulling his usual antics of barging through obstacles with brute force. In the end, I have to think of them as a team, and they have to look out for each other as no one else will.

Eris – Thank you for the comment, its appreciated. I am glad I pulled off those parts, I was worried about the waiting part as I thought I made an error in writing but I thought with the introduction of Ice Master Jorgan then I would have to introduce a random element. Mages have to be patient and persistent, something I think Raven had to endure learning magic.

Despite Garfield's new demeanour, he is still the jokester and team comedian of the Titans. As for Jorgan, he is a random element that I may use in the future, I have an idea for him, but it definitely won't come into play for a long time now. Chrysanthis is a good person by nature, she wouldn't willingly go along with Baltharn's plan without resistance, she would do what she could to help them short of actually telling them about Baltharn's plan.

The monk is someone I might add back in, he is fun to write and I have a backstory created for him… and the blue wearing girl spinning daggers… not saying anything more…

As for the first quest I hope this chapter gave some pointers about what will happen, that and the scene back in the room the night before. They are in a situation where they have to make compromises in order to survive, if they don't then it will end them before they got passed their first week. Not saying that is the case but it is pointing towards that… maybe…