Do the Ends Justify the Means?

Nora grunted as she kicked and punched, venting all her frustration and just everything as she worked out. She had gone straight to the gym from the library, knowing it was the best way to clear her head before she spoke with anyone. Especially Hester.

Where had they gone wrong? To the point that the synth thought it was completely acceptable to kill someone in order to get information. What's more, what did they do with her now? They needed to show her that what she did wasn't okay, but Nora remembered that the synth had likely faced a fair amount of abuse at the hands of humans. She did what she thought was just.

With a shout, Nora kicked the punching bag and then backed up a bit, breathing heavily as she watched it swing back and forth wildly. She then ran her fingers through her hair as she fought off the memories attempting to assault her mind.

It's for Mummy. Now be a good girl and stay still.

You brought this on yourself!

Plans to terminate will be carried out as soon as I locate No. 15…

Nora was breathing heavily as the tears threatened to pour down her cheeks, but still she fought them. It was then that she sensed she wasn't alone. Nora spun around, seeing Leo standing a few feet away.

"What do you want?" she asked. He took a tentative step towards her.

"Hester did what she thought she needed to do," he started.

"Do not feed me that load of shite. You shouldn't have left her alone," Nora spat back. "So help me, Leo, if you knew or had some sort of idea about what she'd do..."

Leo sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Honestly? The thought may have crossed my mind. But a larger part of me thought there was no way she'd do something like that," he said. He met Nora's eyes, something in his own pleading with her to believe him.

She huffed and looked away, shaking her head. Not long ago, she was starting to think she had truly found an ally in him. But now she wasn't so sure.

"She never said anything about that," he continued. "I thought she was just going to follow her."

"Yea, well, what exactly did she say, Leo?" Nora asked harshly, turning back to him. His eyes fell to the ground again.

"She just said to let her handle it…" he replied softly. "To go back and watch the others."

"And no part of you wondered about that?" Nora asked. "That perhaps she was trying to send you away intentionally?" Leo looked up at her, anger flashing in his eyes.

"She hasn't been violent," he said. "I didn't think that she would resort to killing the woman. How was I supposed to know?"

Nora snorted. It was fairly obvious to her, but then again, she hadn't been there. She might have given Hester the benefit of the doubt as well. In fact, she was fairly sure she would have. But hindsight was always 20/20.

"Would you have done it? Killed her? Tortured her for information?" Nora asked. She found herself holding her breath as she waited for his answer.

"What would you have done!?" Leo shot back defensively, though he grimaced slightly just afterwards. Nora laughed harshly.

"I may not back down from a fight, and I may use underhanded tactics to get information, but I will never - ever - torture someone. Or kill them. Just to get what I wanted," she stated firmly. She managed to stop herself before she added more to that statement.

The two of them stared at each other a few moments before Leo sighed and looked away.

"I couldn't have done it either," he admitted. "And looking back, it was a bit suspect. I should have stayed with her, or… done something. She said it was the guard that killed Ten."

Nora frowned in confusion as he looked back at her, trying to remember what he was talking about. He had mentioned something about Ten before.

"The conscious synth that had been with us before Hester. When he and Max went to find her, they managed to track her and they killed Ten trying to take her," he said.

Nora's eyes widened slightly.

"And you thought it would be okay to leave Hester with her? You've heard the way she talks. Why the hell would you do that, Leo?" she nearly shouted, stepping up to him. "You knew what she would do. Tell me the truth, did you want her to?"

"Maybe!" he shouted, his eyes blazing a moment. Nora stepped back, completely shocked by the admission. "I mean… no. I… Christ. I knew that we might not get a chance like that, but at the same time, we couldn't leave the other guards as well… I thought she would be okay following her… that she would only follow and watch her…"

Nora stared at him a few moments without speaking. She then took a deep breath.

"So, you agree. That the ends justify the means," she said hollowly. "That it's okay to, to murder someone so long as you get to where you want or think you need to go."

Leo's mouth fell open as he stared at her, the full meaning of what she was saying likely hitting him. But it didn't matter. The damage was already done. Even though at the back of Nora's mind, she knew that she was being slightly unfair. Allowing her emotions to get the better of her.

"God, no… of course not, Nor-"

"Obviously, you do. But of course, it's all well and fine if it's someone that works for Qualia," Nora continued ranting. "They're the bad guys, yea? What if she had a family? Children? Regardless of that, she did have a life. What if she was just following orders and didn't actually agree with them? Did you stop to think about that? Course not. Because everyone on the other side obviously deserves to die, no questions asked. And it would help us get information. The ends justify the means."

"For all we know, she could enjoy shooting synths! She could have deserved it!" Leo shouted, starting towards her. "It goes both ways, you know."

"Yea, but we'll never know because she's dead. And fuck… there is a body out there somewhere, Leo. What if it leads them straight back here?!" Nora shouted back.

"Do not even pretend to care about all that. I've seen you. I know how you are, Nora!" Leo retorted. "Always going off on your own! Never telling us where or when you'll be back or what you're doing! One of these days it's likely to be you getting caught and then where would we be?!"

"Yea, I'm a bit reckless… But I would never, ever, say or do anything if it risked everything here! Ian or the other conscious synths! They could take me in, but I wouldn't breathe a word about this place or the others," Nora shouted, feeling as though she had been slapped in the face. "And for fuck's sake, I could NEVER kill someone!"

They fell into silence as they stared at each other a few moments, both breathing heavily. Nora then shook her head and started towards the exit.

"I can't deal with this right now," she muttered.

"Nora, wait. I'm sorry-"

"No, you're not, Leo," she spat, continuing on.

She had been wrong. She and Leo Elster were nothing alike. And he would never understand her.

Leo found his way back to the balcony that Ian had shown him his first night at the estate and fell into a chair, rubbing his face. He hadn't intended for that to turn into a shouting match. He just wanted to explain.

Now, he was torn.

It wasn't completely true that Leo had no idea what Hester would do. He hadn't thought that she might kill the guard, but there had been something about her when she told him to go back to the other guards that did have him thinking she was trying to get rid of him.

And he had chosen not to think about it.

But he had seen how Nora reacted when Hester said that the ends justify the means. Though it wasn't until he was down in the gym that the full realization had hit him. It was what Beauchamp had done to her. How he justified his treatment of her. And in that moment, he felt that he had understood Nora far more. But that was all for nothing. She probably would kick them out after that.

But wasn't that what he had wanted? To leave?

Leo's stomach churned as he thought it over. True, he had thought of this place as a temporary stay. A brief stop before they moved on. But in that moment, he realized that he wasn't ready to leave yet. And now he had fucked it all up.

He leaned over on his knees, rubbing his face. He wasn't even sure if he could even attempt to apologize to Nora now.

But another part of his mind shouted that the guard deserved it. She had killed Ten, likely others. She hadn't seen synths the way he and the others did. She thought they were property. And Qualia was likely doing all sorts of experiments on the conscious synths they got a hold of. They needed to be rescued and what Hester had done got them closer to that goal.

Just as quickly, he saw Nora's grey eyes full of disgust. Fuck, this was giving him a headache. Just what the hell was he supposed to do now?

Nora distracts you…

Leo looked out across the gardens and land sprawling behind the manor.

She's always been alone…

God, he wished Mia was here.

"Found you."

Leo looked over, seeing Ian standing in the doorway, though the flat tone of his voice and strained look on his face told Leo that he wasn't particularly happy with him. Which he expected.

Ian walked over and sat in the chair next to him.

"So, Hester filled me in on everything," Ian said, a false airiness to his voice. "I hate to say it, but it is mostly helpful. We know more about their security."

Leo didn't reply, only nodded.

"I don't… fuck…" Ian said. "She… just…" Ian sighed, unable to vocalize his thoughts. Leo could understand that.

"I know," Leo replied.

"But you knew…"

"I wasn't sure. I hoped-"

"A woman is dead, Leo," Ian said, cutting him off. "You honestly are going to tell me that you had no idea Hester would do something like that?"

Leo couldn't look at him. Signs had been there, he realized. Unfortunately, this realization came too late.

"I know."

The two sat in silence a few moments, staring out over the garden. Leo then took a deep breath.

"I didn't want her to do it, if that's what you all think. I would have never… I should have said something. Done something," he then said. "Stayed. Stopped her."

"Well, hindsight is 20/20," Ian said dryly. Leo looked over at him, seeing the pained look on his face. "As much as I hate how she did it, she did get us more information on Qualia."

"I swear… I honestly didn't think she would hurt or kill that woman," Leo insisted.

The ginger man glanced over at Leo.

"Suppose it's a good thing we can't go back in time. I'm not so sure what I would have done to change things if I knew it meant getting that information," he then admitted.

"You would have done the same? Walk away? Knowing what she might do?" Leo asked, frowning slightly. Ian shrugged.

"I'm saying I don't know what I would have done with the information you had at the time," he replied. Leo looked back out at the grounds.

"I think we both know what Nora would have done," Leo said glumly.

"To be honest, I don't think we know that either. Given what you knew at the time. What she would have known," Ian said with a sigh. "She still worked up over it?" Leo nodded. "Likely will be for a time. Though she'll get over it eventually."

"I don't think she'll speak to me," Leo said. "I tried to apologize, but just made it worse. God, I just… it's what Beauchamp did to her."

Leo saw Ian sit up in his chair out of the corner of his eye.

"The ends justify the means… that's what Beauchamp thought. What he told himself to justify treating her the way that he did. All the tests, the isolation. He allowed himself to do horrible things to a child because in his mind, it was okay if it meant he got his wife back," Leo continued. "And I just… I allowed Hester to do the same thing to that woman."

Leo was greeted by silence. It went on a rather long time before he ventured a look at Ian. He had been studying him closely the whole time.

"Knew I was right about you," Ian finally said. Leo stared at him in confusion. "Don't give up… not on Nora…"

Leo's eyes widened slightly as he looked away, unsure of how to respond to that. He wasn't about to give up on Nora, but it was clear she wanted nothing to do with him.

"You are welcome to stay. To work with us. If that's what you're worried about," Ian continued. "But just… try talking to her again. Tell her what you told me. She'll come around. Not before a decent amount of time of sulking and punishing you for it, but she will. She always does."

"I'm not so sure she should forgive me," Leo confessed. "Don't blame her for not talking to me. And I'm not sure that she needs me…"

"She does," Ian said before Leo could say anything else. "She opens up to you. She hasn't done that with, well, anyone, really. I mean she tells me things and we're close… but still, there are things she holds back that I know she can't or won't tell me. But she needs to talk about it - to move on. And I think she can do that with you. With someone who understands."

Leo glanced at Ian and then sighed, shaking his head.

"All I can promise is that I'll try…"

Nora stood down in the lab, unsure of just what brought her here. She avoided it when she could. Her eyes scanned over her surroundings, going to the hallway. A shudder ran through her as old memories threatened to well up. She avoided going down that hallway. Entering that exam room or the surgery suite. If ever she were injured, Ian would treat her upstairs, never forcing her down there.

Taking a deep breath, she continued to look around, once again wondering why her feet had brought her here.

"Oh… sorry…"

Nora spun around, seeing Leo. He was already halfway turned to leave, but then stopped. It was as though he were trying to convince himself of something. He finally nodded and turned, meeting her eyes.

"I know you don't want to speak with me right now, and I don't blame you, but I'm just… I'm sorry. About before. About thinking what Hester did might be okay if it helped in the long run… that wasn't… I don't think that," he said. Nora just stared at him. Leo took a few steps towards her. "I know that… that's what he… that…"

Leo stopped speaking as he looked to the ground, his brow furrowed. He then looked up at her.

"I'm not Beauchamp. I don't want to be," he said.

Nora sucked in a quick breath, not expecting Leo to bring up the man who had created her. But she couldn't bring herself to look away from him, even though the urge was starting to come over her. Leo took another step towards her.

"I know that's why… the things he did to you in the name of science, of reaching his goal, I don't want to be that person. Someone who loses who they are for the sake of a goal," he continued. "I know you probably don't believe me right now, but it's the truth."

Nora swallowed, conflicted. She wanted to believe him. For some unknown reason, part of her was shouting that she could trust him. That Ian was right, and she could open up to him. But years of remaining closed up - of dealing with things on her own - was still there. Another part of herself shouted that he had walked away, allowing Hester to kill that woman. That even if a large part of him had wanted to believe Hester wouldn't, a small part of him had known she would and he still walked away.

But standing here in front of her, she could clearly see the vulnerability in his eyes. That he was being truthful. And that he really didn't want to be that sort of person. She blinked rapidly, feeling the tears pricking at her eyes, and then looked away from him. Of course, then, her eyes fell on the darkened hallway. The one that led to the exam room. She shuddered again.

"What is it?" Leo asked, clearly seeing her response. Nora shook her head, tearing her eyes from the hallway.

"I don't like being down here…. Not sure why I'm here, to be honest," she said softly, staring at the ground. She closed her eyes a moment. "It's where he…"

"Oh."

Nora looked up at him, seeing Leo had stepped closer, but was still keeping a bit of distance between them.

"I really am sor-"

"You don't have to apologize. Not for what he did," she said, cutting him off as she wrapped her arms around herself. "That wasn't you."

The silence stretched on as Nora couldn't bring herself to look at him. She screwed her eyes shut, trying to keep the words inside, but just like every other time she was alone with Leo Elster, they were threatening to come out all the same.

"You know that he ran all sorts of tests on me down here… but when I got older, I felt as though he started using it to punish me more than for the sake of his research," she said, her voice shaking. "When I was 16… he found out that I had been friends with Ian… he pulled me out of school and brought me here… and… at the time, I was just like any other teenager. I was curious… and I heard the other girls talking about boys and… being with them… I wanted to know what that was like…"

She didn't say anything for a few moments and thankfully neither did Leo, allowing her to continue at her own pace.

"He… thought… It wasn't Ian. There was another boy in school. He had flirted with me a few times and so… one night I snuck out and we… Ian knew of course, but he swore he wouldn't tell anyone. But Beauchamp… he somehow found out about it and he… did an exam to determine if it were true…"

Nora's voice was barely above a whisper and she still couldn't bring herself to look at Leo, though she had opened her eyes.

"Ian took the blame… I'm not sure why, but Beauchamp obviously thought it had been him and Ian didn't try to tell him differently. He said I'd never leave this manor again, he was so… angry. That someone else had… had touched me," Nora continued. "He left me locked up in the exam room for hours… strapped down to the table… it was then that I knew I needed to get away from here. I started forming a plan to run away that day-"

Nora stopped speaking as she felt strong arms around her, pulling her close. She couldn't breathe for a few moments as Leo held her. But then she slowly reached up and wrapped her arms around his torso, leaning her head on his shoulder. The tears burst forth then, streaming down her cheeks as neither spoke.

It was different than when Ian held her. For so long, he had been the only person Nora allowed to touch her like this. She had been with other men since then, but she never let them hold her. But for whatever reason, she found that she didn't want Leo to let go of her.

"He's gone. You never have to live like that again," Leo murmured. Nora only nodded, her words caught in her throat. "And… I'm here… for… anything… I won't go anywhere…"

Nora's heart clenched as she desperately wanted to latch onto those words. Leo Elster had not been with their little operation for long, but already Nora found that she didn't want him to go anywhere. All of her anger from earlier started to fade away. But just as she found herself getting comfortable, she couldn't help as the fear snuck back in.

No one ever stayed. Only Ian and even then, Nora felt horrible for holding him here with her when he could be out living a life of his own. Her heart sank. She would do the same to Leo. He deserved more than anyone to have a normal life. Even if the life he had outside of Beauchamp Estate was far from normal, at least it was his own. She didn't want to be the reason he gave up a chance at something that was his own.

Suddenly she pushed out of his arms, wiping her cheeks and feeling incredibly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I should…"

She stopped speaking as she walked quickly to the door, leaving Leo behind in the lab. She needed to get away. To breath. For some reason, Leo always made her feel confused, conflicted and unsure of herself. She needed to get away from him and think.

Nora couldn't let him in. She didn't let anyone in.