Chapter 23

"Henry!"
Henry Valois spun around. He had been so absorbed in his bleak thoughts that he had not even noticed Catherine entering his bedroom. With an uneasy feeling in his stomach, he raised his eyes and examined his wife, who had built herself up in the middle of the room like the ancient Greek goddess of vengeance. And although her face was free of makeup, her hair wet and unkempt and she wasn't wearing anything but her cream-colored silk bathrobe, Catherine looked more determined than ever before. His wife was obviously ready for combat.
The sight of her made the fine hair on the nape of his neck raise. Henry cringed, but he was neither able to swallow the big lump in his throat nor bringing forth any useful sound.
"We have to talk! Now! I don't know what's wrong with you. But I know that we can't go on like this."
The harshness and determination of her words prompted Henry to turn the TV off and sit up in his bed in alarm. He knew that dangerous fire in her eyes by heart, and it usually didn't bode well.

"Talk? Really, Kitten? You and I are good at many things. Running a business, writing checks, ignoring the elephant in the room... but talking to each other isn't really one of our core competences."
Henry didn't know if this was just a bad joke on his part or if he was quite simply pointing out the truth and the true core of their problems.
But by the way Catherine furrowed her brow he could tell that it would have been wiser to bite his tongue. Sparks of anger hurled his way.
"You think this is all just a joke? I, our marriage?"

Henry rose and approached his wife with an appeasing gesture.
"No, of course not. Catherine, you're the woman I love, but I'm feeling lost. I don't know what to do right now. Even less what to think."
"What to think? Is this still all about Richard?" His wife's voice had taken on a dangerous tone and Henry didn't know whether to feel offended or relieved that she hadn't taken note of his declaration of love.
"Yes - no! I don't know. If not, please explain to me how to react when, all of a sudden, you find your wife starting to go to beauty salons and waxing studios and buying sexy lingerie at Victoria Secrets? If you're not doing it for me or for Richard, who are you doing it for?"
"For me Henry, for ME!" Catherine literally tossed those words at him and her outburst involuntarily made him take a step back. "Did it never occur to you that I might do it for myself? That I eventually want to feel beautiful and desirable again, let alone comfortable in my own skin? And that it might hurt me hearing you accuse me of cheating on you. I would never cheat, Henry, NEVER. Not even if I could."

Catherine broke off and Henry thought he saw tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
Her words together with her emotional reaction and the way she was looking up at him from sad doe-like eyes caused his cheeks to redden in shame.
How could he have been so blind? Blind and stupid. Because now it all made sense. Catherine had been fighting her way back to a normal life, finally shedding the stigma that still clung to her. Only he hadn't noticed, hadn't interpreted the signals correctly that - in retrospect - had been more than obvious. He was such a fool.

Blinded by the way Richard was looking at his wife as of late, his mind - clouded by jealousy - had come up with only one logical conclusion. A terrible mistake, as it now turned out.
"I'm sorry." Henry couldn't even recognize his own voice.
He knew that a simple apology would never be enough to mend fences between them, but he had to start somewhere, after all.
"And you think that's enough? An uninspired apology..." Before Catherine could talk herself into another rage, Henry stopped her torrent of words by reaching for one of her hands.
"Kitten, trust me, I know that I screwed up on a grand scale and you have every right to be angry."
"Good, because I AM angry, Henry!"

The glint in Catherine's eyes did not bode well. But all Henry could perceive at that moment was how incredibly beautiful his wife was when she was angry. With that spirited - if angry - expression on her face, her flushed cheeks and the impetuous rise and fall of her chest that inevitably drew his gaze to her cleavage, it was impossible for Henry to concentrate on their conversation. A reaction that had not gone unnoticed by his wife.
"Henry! My eyes are up here. For crying out loud, sometimes I can't believe you!" Furious, she withdrew her hand from his and wrapped her robe even tighter around her body like a protective shield. Then she turned her back on him, as if needing a moment to collect herself.
Henry silently watched her while a mild tremor captured her body.
Was Catherine feeling just as helpless as he felt right now?

When Henry couldn't bear the situation any longer, he took a cautious step towards his wife. With nerve-wracking slowness, he raised his hand, but stopped dead in his tracks just a few millimeters away her shoulder, not daring to touch her.

"I may not know what to do or what's right or wrong anymore, but I know that you're breathtakingly beautiful when you're angry. I don't want to lose you, Catherine." When his hand finally sank to her shoulder, he felt the warmth that was radiating from her body through the thin fabric. "Please, Kitten, say something!"
"Do you have an idea how crazy you're driving me?" Catherine turned around and stared up at him angrily. There was this telltale and very familiar glint in her eyes, darkening her irises even more.
"You're such a selfish, self-absorbed..." Catherine didn't get to continue with her rant, for Henry pulled her into his arms offhandedly and smothered her outburst with a kiss.
A kiss Catherine returned without the slightest sign of hesitation. A kiss they both put the same intensity in they had previously put into their argument. A kiss full of passion that reflected a desire that usually only came to light when baser instincts gained control over his wife.

"Stronzo," Catherine murmured softly against his lips when lack of oxygen forced them to break their kiss.
"When you're right," he murmured in response, playfully nibbling at her lower lip. "…you're right." Before she could reply, Henry pulled Catherine even closer.
At that moment, he needed nothing more than holding his wife to surmount the distance that had arisen between them since his outburst at their corporate event. Because he needed her. Needed her like he needed air to breathe.
There were still things that stood between them. Things unspoken and he would probably have to make amends for the rest of his life, but as long as he was allowed to spend it by her side, he was gladly willing to accept any deprivation in return.

Henry kissed her again, putting all his love, all the desire he felt for Catherine into this second kiss.
And this time it was Catherine who intensified it with a hunger that was not unknown to him. Her every move was suddenly dominated by raw desire. He had to muster all his self-control not to give in to his own craving. Because usually this was the moment when things got out of control between them and they started jumping each other's bones, guided by their lust. A pattern that had repeated itself more and more often over the past year.
When Catherine's fingers started to glide along his chest, impatiently tampering with the buttons of his shirt, Henry released her lips and put some distance between them.
"What's wrong?" A hint of irritation mingled with Catherine's lust-veiled gaze. Henry put his hand over hers to stop her. Because no matter how much he desired his wife, he knew he had to break the vicious cycle of lust and regret, of attraction and repulsion - right here and now. And he had to do it in a way that neither hurt Catherine nor her still fragile feeling of self-worth in relation to their sex life.

"My dear, you are the most beautiful and most desirable woman I have ever met, but I don't think that this is a good idea right now."
"What?" Catherine, looking up at him with a mixture of desire and annoyance written all over her face, withdrew her hand from his body and took a step back herself, increasing the distance between them. "Are you serious? Whenever I think you can't possibly be a bigger asshole than you already are, you put a whole new meaning to the word." Henry stopped her tantrum by walking towards her, tentatively closing the distance between them.
"You think I'm an asshole because I don't want to sleep with you - at least not like this?" Henry made a helpless gesture with his hand, trying to make her understand his motives.
"Well, yes. Don't you think it's already bad enough that I have a problem with our sex life? Do you seriously think that it's helpful when you, of all people, reject me? How is that supposed to make me feel, Henry?"
"Didn't you pay any attention to the things I've said? I love you and I want you more than I ever wanted anything in my life." Henry clasped her slender shoulders with his hands and forced her to look up at him. He wanted her to see and to acknowledge the love he felt for her. He needed her to realize how much she meant to him and that it wasn't just the sex he was after. This was about so much more. It was about love, about trust, and about responsibility.
He had neglected taking responsibility for his family and for his marriage far too long and it was finally time for him to be man enough to do so.

"And yet you reject me?"
"No, kitten." Henry clasped Catherine's chin between his thumb and forefinger, tenderly stroking her alabaster skin. "I just want it to be a deliberate decision – once we decide to make love again. Not because we're furious or angry, but because we love each other."
Once his words had left his month, Catherine's lips opened in protest, but Henry beat her to it by caressing her lips with a placating gesture.
"But only when you're ready. And when you're not mad at me anymore. Do you think you can forgive me in a not-so-far future and give me another chance?"
Henry could literally hear the thoughts rattling behind Catherine's forehead, and every second she hesitated made his stomach tighten until he thought he was going to loose it due to this unbearable tension.

Just when Henry was on the verge of succumbing to his disappointment, he saw a familiar sparkle rise in his wife's eyes. A sparkle that gave him new hope.
"Only if you promise to stop being an asshole."
"I promise. As true as I am standing here, Kitten." Henry put all his love, all his power of persuasion into these words and at the same time he sent a silent prayer heavenwards, asking God to make her believe.
"I hope so, for your own sake, Henry. Because if something like this ever happens again, I will file for divorce."
"Only you could bring up a possible divorce seconds after agreeing to making a fresh start," Henry murmured mildly amused while pulling Catherine into his arms. He didn't even dare to imagine an outcome of this kind.

This hadn't been the first time his wife had thrown the threat of a divorce in his face.
But at the bottom of his heart, he felt that her words weren't an empty threat like many times in the past. Catherine would turn her back on him for good, should he disappoint or hurt her ever again.
For where once her business acumen and their children had held their marriage together, there was now much more at stake than their company. Her heart.

"Then I guess I'll have to exert myself for you, Kitten."
Henry embraced his wife and planted a kiss on the crown of her hair, sucking in Catherine's beguiling scent by doing so.
Right now, all he needed to live was the woman he was holding in his arms.
After a few seconds, he felt Catherine gradually relax in his embrace, then she slowly but surely snuggled up against his body. A reaction that put a relieved smile on his lips.
They would be okay.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I wish you a wonderful time. Stay safe and healthy.

Thank you soooo much for your previous reviews. I'm so glad that there are still some readers out there. I hope you like this new chapter.