Chapter 10

Luke sat there for a really long time, mulling things over in his head. Lorelai's words echoed through his mind as he thought about the last few months. The two of them had gone through so much since Luke first received that phone call. They were just now starting to hold conversations, and Luke did not want to lose that if he took this risk. But what if Lorelai was right? What if this was even worse when Shelby found out when she was older if he didn't do this now? Luke never wanted his kid upset with him. But he didn't want to see her hurt either.

He rubbed his hands along his face. This was a tough call and Luke had no clue on what to do.

Movement out in the hall caught his eye.

Luke looked up to see Shelby peeking in as she held onto the wall.

He stood up off the crate he had been sitting on and made his way over, kneeling in front of her. "I took longer than I expected, huh?"

She nodded slowly while still holding onto the wall. "Wha' you doing?"

"Uh... Well, I was doing some thinking."

"Abou' wha'?"

Luke stared at the floor, deciding what to say. He still did not know. So he asked Shelby. "Shell?"

"Yes?"

"I..." He took a deep breath in hesitation. "I know we haven't really talked about your mom, much. Do y...would you like to?"

Shelby had turned fully around and was leaning against the wall with her palms flat against it behind her back. She just shrugged. "You say I have her smile."

Luke moved over to Shelby's other side, placing his back up against the wall. "That's right," he smiled for her.

Shelby followed with her eyes, turning her head. "Where is my mom?"

It felt like his throat suddenly closed up, keeping him from speaking. Then the next question caught him off guard.

"Is Lor-lai my mom?" Why not? Lorelai had been here almost every day, helping with Shelby. Any kid would think she was their mother if she hung around that often.

"No, sweetheart," he managed to say.

"Oh." Shelby didn't sound disappointed. It was a simple monotone response that any kid would give. After a few moments, she asked, "Did my mom die?" Luke hadn't even been sure if Shelby knew that concept yet. Though she lived with several families. Surely, it would have bound to come up among any of those, especially with older kids. A pet or grandparent, or even on TV.

Luke took in another breath. "No, sweetheart. Your mom's still living," he replied, gently, trying to remain calm enough to speak.

"How come she no here?"

There it was. The moment of truth. Luke couldn't lie to Shelby. But what would she say? Do?

Luke held his hands up, inviting Shelby in.

Shelby stepped around his knee and dropped onto him. She was wearing her hat backwards, which Luke knew that was the equivalent to not wearing it.

"What would you say if..." he paused for a brief period. "If I told ya, your mom was here?"

She shrugged. "Where is she?"

Luke didn't respond. He looked at his daughter as they sat there in silence. It must have been uncomfortable for her because Shelby pulled her gaze away towards the floor. Before he said anything Luke needed to make sure Shelby knew what really mattered.

"Shelby, you know I love you. Right?"

"Yes," she looked back up. "I love you, too."

He smiled at that and kissed her forehead where the bruise was still visible. "I'll always love you, Shell. Nothing will ever change that, and I will always be here for you. Nothing you ever do can make me love you any less. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," Luke told her. "That said, I just want you to know the reason I haven't said this sooner was because I was trying to protect you from getting hurt."

"Like when I fell?"

Luke shook his head. "Not that kind of hurt. I'm talking about in here," he held a hand over where her heart was.

"My hear'?"

This time he nodded. "Madison told me how it was while you were in foster care. She told me about the boy who locked you in a closet and you wouldn't scream for help."

Shelby dropped her gaze at that. He knew because of her anxiety she felt she couldn't yell.

"That had to be really scary, huh?"

She nodded.

"And meeting all those people who wanted to make you a part of their family," he continued, rubbing her side, comfortingly.

Shelby remained silent.

Luke hesitated before he added, "And she told me about Bailey."

Tears suddenly appeared at the mention of her mentor.

Luke pulled Shelby in and squeezed her to him, kissing her head. "That's why I worried about letting you get to know Rachel. I didn't want you to have to lose someone else. But unfortunately, that's the way life is, kiddo. People come and go in our lives. There's hellos and then there's good-byes. We can't guarantee how long it'll be in between. I'll be here for good but there'll be others who won't and," he choked a little but cleared it away to continue, "I was afraid Rachel would be the one who leaves you."

"I no ge' i'." she looked up at him with a puzzled look on her face.

Luke took another breath in. "Rachel is...Rachel is your mom, kiddo." He paused to wait for a reaction. Things were quiet as the words sunk in. Shelby just stared up at him. Luke wasn't sure if he should say something or treat it how he gets her to speak. In the end, he waited, at least for a few moments. When enough time had passed, he finally asked, "how do you feel about Rachel being your mom?"

Shelby was staring at the floor, quiet. Finally, she asked, "Will she really leave, Dad?"

"I don't know, kiddo. She likes to move around a lot. But she says she wants to stay this time for you."

Shelby looked up to ask, "For me?"

"She wants to make up for the lost time being your mom." Luke didn't have the heart to tell his daughter how her mother had left him several times without so much as a good-bye, hoping this was it. That Rachel was going to stay true to her word this time. "It's okay if you don't want to give her a chance. I won't make you call her, mom if you don't want to."

"But if Ray-koal is my mom, I have to."

"No, you don't, kiddo. That's your decision. If you want to, great. If not, that's okay too."

Shelby looked away at the floor again. It seemed like she was mulling things over now.

"It's a risk, I know. But I'll always leave that door open for the two of you."

"Wha' door?" she looked back at her dad.

Luke chuckled. "It's not an actual door, kiddo. I mean, if you or your mom wanted to see each other, it'll be okay with me."

"Okay," she finally said.

His head jerked at the sudden response. "You want to try it?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Even if... She might leave?"

Again, Shelby nodded.

Luke couldn't help smile a little. He pulled her in on his shoulder and hugged her. A part of him inside was still fighting it, but another part wanted to give things one more try. "So, I guess we should head upstairs and empty a drawer for her, huh?" Luke said afterwards.

"Mom needs to pur her 'tuff in some-ting," she shrugged.

He kissed her cheek, holding it for a moment.

They stood to their feet before making their way upstairs. First thing Luke did was head over to the dresser. Shelby remained at his side, but stole glances over at Rachel. Luke pulled out the top drawer where he kept his socks and set it on the floor, combining the sock contents with one of his other drawers. Once the drawer was empty, Luke lifted it up and slid the drawer back into place.

Rachel had been sitting over on the couch, reading.

He turned to look over at her and let out one more breath of air.

Shelby pinned herself to his leg, also looking over at the woman.

"Go on," Luke encouraged, softly.

She looked up at him, stealing another glance over at Rachel. After a minute or two, Shelby let go of his leg and shyly made her way over, grabbing Pikachu on the way. When she reached the end of the couch, Shelby stopped and did not go any further.

"Hey, Shelby. You okay? You ran out of here so fast, Lorelai and I wasn't sure. You fell pretty hard, there."

Shelby nodded, squeezing Pikachu in a tight hold. It smashed its paws against her chest as it made Pikachu speak and move.

Rachel leaned forward. "Is something wrong?" she asked, sounding concerned.

Luke moved over there as he spoke up. "It's okay, Shell," he assured her, stopping behind her and looked directly at Rachel. "She knows."

Rachel stared up at him, her mouth open in surprised relief. "You mean you...?"

Luke gave her a nod.

She looked over at Shelby and sniffed back some tears. "Shelby."

Shelby was chewing on her lip, watching Rachel, carefully.

"Shelby, I just want you to know how sorry I am. I never should have walked away. I just got scared of being a mom, that's all. It had nothing to do with you, I promise."

The two adults waited to see what Shelby would do. A few minutes had passed with Luke assuring her it was okay before Shelby moved. To their surprise, the little girl made her way over to Rachel and sat next to her. Rachel waited for Shelby, not making any kind of move so Shelby could make the first move. Another few minutes passed before she put an arm around her mother, shyly.

Slowly and carefully, Rachel wrapped her own arm around the little girl and semi hugged her in return. Shelby said nothing, and the semi hug never turned into a full hug. It didn't even last as long as the other hugs Shelby usually gave. It was something, at least.

Luke moved over to join the girls. "The top drawer is yours," he admitted to her, sitting on his daughter's other side.

"Thank you," she mouthed, barely audible, and looked back down at Shelby, who had taken her arm back.

"And I guess you can move off the couch now. I mean, if you want to."

Rachel smiled up at him, switching back to Shelby. "Is there anything you would like to do, Shelby?"

Shelby turned around and stood up to place her knee on the couch, reaching up for her dad's ear. Luke hunched over to listen as she said, "TV," in a tiny whisper for only him to hear, which he said aloud to Rachel.

"Can I watch with you?"

Shelby nodded.

She picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned the TV on.

"Just thirty minutes, Shell, then I want you working on your homework," Luke told her.

Shelby switched the channel. Her favorite show was already on and started watching it. Her parents sat on either side, watching with her.

The following day, Luke finally allowed Rachel to pick Shelby up from school. They didn't come straight home, though, but she let him know they wouldn't. Rachel took Shelby on a walk, just the two of them.

Word had already gotten around that Shelby knew who her mother was. He did not understand how much the town loved his kid until that day. Luke had several people asking for confirmation on his decision and noticed Rachel getting some looks as she left the diner to go pick up Shelby. Guess he wasn't the only one who didn't want to see Shelby get hurt.

Lorelai stopped by while the girls were on their walk. "How'd it go?"

"Good," he replied. "Shelby took it better than I thought."

She smiled. "Where is Shelby?" Lorelai looked around the diner.

"Rachel wanted to take her on a walk."

"You seem relatively calm," she pointed out.

"Oh, sure. No big deal. She is her mother, after all," he shrugged, but on the inside he was freaking out. Freaking out more than he had ever freaked out before. What if something were to happen? What if Shelby fell again, or what if she got scared and Luke wasn't there to make it all better? The huge thing Luke had recently just thought of that he hadn't thought of before was, what if Rachel left again but tried to take Shelby with her? He knew Rachel wouldn't do something like that, but whose mind didn't come up with the worse case scenario? "This'll be good for Shelby."

Lorelai agreed. "It will, and you too."

Luke stared at her, confused. "Me?"

She nodded. "Yeah, having someone around to help you with her so you don't have to do it alone."

"Shelby's not that huge of a handful."

"Get her out of her shell and she might become a handful," Lorelai teased.

Luke snickered at the thought of his little girl slowly coming out of her shell and becoming a handful. Not in a bad way. Unfortunately, unlike regular childhood shyness, no one really grows out of Selective Mutism. With effort, a kid can overcome it, but it won't completely go away. It was something Shelby would have to deal with for the rest of her life.

"So, hey," he changed the subject, "did Shelby ever get the chance to ask you her question, yesterday?"

"No. What question is that?" she asked.

"Her class is doing Peter Rabbit for the parents and anyone else who wants to come. Shelby had asked me if you could come. I told her she would have to ask you."

"What time is it? I have dinner with my parents on Fridays, remember?"

"It's the last hour and a half of the school day, in their classroom."

"Oh, well then, I should be able to make it," she perked up.

"I'm sure Shelby would be excited to hear that." Right after Luke said that, Shelby and Rachel had returned, coming in the diner's entrance. Shelby made a beeline for her dad, which Luke scooped her up. "Hey, kiddo. How was it?"

Shelby held a thumb's up, smiling.

Rachel came over, standing next to where Lorelai was sitting. "We had a wonderful time. Didn't we, Shelby?"

She nodded.

Luke forced a smile for his daughter. "How about a snack?"

Shelby pointed over at the donuts. So he took her over to pick one out before setting Shelby down on her feet and told her to go grab a stool. While Luke set the donut on a plate, Shelby dashed over to climb on the stool next to Lorelai. She pulled herself up, sitting flat on her own.

"So," Lorelai leaned over. "I heard you have something you want to ask me."

Luke brought the donut over and set it in front of her.

Shelby nodded at her.

Leaning in even closer, Lorelai let Shelby ask, who barely whispered inside her ear, making sure only she heard.

"I would love to come see your play, sweetheart."

Shelby smiled at that and held her arms out. Lorelai wrapped an arm around the little girl who hugged her in return, this time with both arms. Up till this point, only Luke got a full hug.

Luke couldn't help sneak a look over at Rachel, who was watching. He hadn't mentioned the play to her yet.

When Shelby pulled away, Rachel asked, "Is it alright if I came to see your play, Shelby?"

She looked around Lorelai and nodded before turning back to Lorelai, leaning in again, wanting to say something more.

"Rory will still be in school," Lorelai replied.

Shelby frowned, picking up her donut.

"I'll talk to her tonight though and see if she can get out of class early."

Shelby perked up a little.

Before Friday, Rachel talked Luke into seeing a movie, so Luke asked Lorelai if she could babysit Shelby for a couple hours. Lorelai was happy to have Shelby over and the three of them, including Rory, had a girls' night of movies and pizza until he returned to pick her up.

In fact Shelby ate so much she ended up dealing with a stomachache. Shelby felt it on the drive home. The only reason Luke found out about it was because he looked over and saw Shelby hugging her stomach and making soft whimpering noises.

"What's wrong, kiddo?" Shelby didn't answer. She was squeezing her abdomen area with her head back against the seat. "You ate a lot of food and now your stomach hurts, huh?"

She gave a pitiful nod. Another whimper escaped from her mouth.

He pulled up in front of the diner and parked. Heading around to Shelby's side, Luke opened her door and lifted her into his arms, carrying Shelby upstairs and took her over to her bed where he laid her down. Luke helped remove her shoes and jacket and covered her up.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and grab some ginger ale. It'll help settle your stomach." He leaned in to kiss the side of her forehead before heading downstairs to the diner's kitchen. Luke grabbed a bottle of ginger ale from the kitchen's fridge and took it back upstairs, where he found Rachel sitting at her side. "She ate a lot of food over at Lorelai's and upset her stomach." he explained to her.

Luke grabbed a cup from one of the upper cupboards and brought it over to Shelby, sitting beside her. He encouraged her to sit up and handed the drink to her. Shelby took it, taking a sip.

When Shelby had her fill, she passed the drink back to her dad and pointed over at Pikachu, who was over on Luke's bed. Rachel offered to grab the toy and brought it back with her, passing the toy to Shelby, who hugged it to her.

Luke rubbed a hand along her upper arm as he held an arm around Shelby.

She patted his leg, wanting to tell him something.

He leaned over, putting his ear even where her mouth could reach.

"Rub my tummy, please?"

Luke smiled. It was a gesture he would do whenever they would cuddle together. This was the first she requested it though. Having her lay down, Luke laid with her and began rubbing circles on her stomach.

Rachel had remained there at the foot of the bed, not saying a word. No one did. The apartment was in complete silence.

Eventually, Shelby fell asleep, giving Luke the opportunity to rise.

Rachel had moved towards the couch, leaning forward on her hands.

He joined her.

She took her hands away and held her arms on her legs to look over at him. "You are amazing with her."

Luke just shrugged it off humbly. "It took a lot of time and patience to get to this point."

"I can tell how much she adores you." Rachel smiled over at him.

He chuckled to himself at the floor.

"I really do appreciate you giving me another chance. Whenever I look at her... See how much she struggles..."

Luke was staring at the floor. "Beating yourself up about it again and again isn't going to make things better. What's done is done. All we can do now is help Shelby move on from it and show how much we love her."

She nodded. "I'm not gonna abandon Shelby again."

"I hope not." Luke watched her.

"I promise. And I want to make things work between us for Shelby," she told him.

He smiled at that and wrapped an arm around her.

Friday came. Shelby may have been excited for the play, she never let herself be seen. They set the classroom up for the play, moving the tables and chairs off to the side to make room for regular sized chairs for the parents. Lorelai and Rory had beat Luke and Rachel there, already talking with Shelby. Shelby was showing off her artwork Darla had on display with the rest of the class. They walked over to them.

"Hey," Luke greeted.

They turned around, which Shelby flung herself at Luke's legs, hugging them to her.

"Hey," Lorelai returned the greeting. "Shelby was just showing us her artwork."

"Really? Which ones?" he asked.

She pointed out the snail Shelby had made. The body was made from green construction paper with googly eyes while the shell was made from a paper plate with small, colorful squares of tissue paper glued on in a pattern. Shelby had chosen orange, red, and yellow since those were her favorite colors. Luke wondered if he should be worried his daughter's favorite colors made up the colors of fire, to be honest.

Luke, Rachel, Lorelai, and Rory took their seats in the second row, towards the center. Rachel had her camera out as Darla stood at the front of the class, welcoming the parents and others who came to see the play.

"Welcome, parents and family members, to our end of the year class play. On behalf of the children, I'd like to thank you all for coming to see our performance of Peter Rabbit. We hope you will enjoy the show." Darla moved off to the side as the first batch of students walked into the area they had made to look like Mr. McGregor's garden, carrying vegetables made of large construction paper. Towards the back of the line, one student held their vegetable up where it covered their face.

Luke recognized the pair of legs anywhere and smiled as he watched the students line up in rows as a garden would be. He could hear a shutter in his ear as Rachel grabbed a shot.

Once the vegetables were situated, five more of the students, including Alan, joined but stopped out in front, facing the audience.

Liddy was also among them, who spoke first. "Once upon a time, there were four rabbits."

Three other girls and Alan stood beside her and introduced their rabbit names.

"Flopsy."

"Mopsy."

"Cottontail."

"And I'm Peter," Alan pointed to himself with his thumb.

All five had paper rabbit's ears stapled around their heads. Alan wore a blue coat like the one from the book.

"They lived with their mother under a fir tree," Liddy continued. "One morning, Mother Rabbit had the rabbits go pick blackberries for supper." She turned to the others. "But be very careful and stay away from Mr. McGregor's garden. Your father had an accident there and..."

Alan waved his hand in her direction, "I know, I know. He was baked into a pie."

"That's right, Peter. You must not go near there or the same thing will happen to you." Liddy then turned and walked "off stage."

There were three small pails on the floor at their feet. The girls picked them up and pretended to be picking blackberries.

The one who was Flopsy looked up to see Peter not helping. "Aren't you going to help us, Peter?" she asked of him.

"I don't want to pick blackberries. I'm going to go pick some yummy carrots from Mr. McGregor's garden instead."

"But you heard what Mother said. We are not supposed to go near Mr. McGregor's garden. Don't you remember what happened to Father?" said Cottontail.

"I'm not afraid of Mr. McGregor," he waved them off and hopped off towards the garden. Though it was more of a skip. Alan 'hopped' throughout the garden, taking pretend bites out of the vegetables.

Luke stole glances at Shelby, who now and then stole peeks from behind her cabbage before quickly pulling back. Especially when Alan started skipping around.

Soon, Ethan walked into the garden, wearing a straw hat and carrying a toy rake.

Liddy continued narrating. "While Peter was eating his fill of carrots, radishes, and cabbage, Mr. McGregor came out to do some work, catching the little rabbit in the act."

Alan stopped and turned on his heel to face his brother, acting surprised. Ethan chased him throughout the garden.

"Mr. McGregor chased Peter all over the garden, trying to catch the rabbit who had forgotten the way back to the gate."

"Stop, thief!" Ethan called out.

"As he ran, Peter's shoes came off." Alan stopped long enough to pull off his tennis shoes and dashed behind the last row of the other kids where two others had appeared, grabbing a hold of him. "Soon, Peter got caught in a gooseberry net. No matter how much he tried, Peter could not pull free. He then started to cry, afraid he would surely be caught. If only he had listened to his mother," Liddy shrugged her hands up.

Alan pretended to be sad.

Two other students walked over from the side, a boy and a girl, and stopped in front of Alan. "Two sparrows heard Peter's cries and flew down to cheer Peter on, saying he could do it." He pulled harder. The two holding onto his arms let go so Alan could remove the coat, dropping it on the floor, and ran along the left side of the garden, just as Ethan ran over.

"Finally, Peter found the gate and squeezed underneath, finally free of Mr. Gregor. Mr. McGregor took his coat and shoes and made a scarecrow out of them to scare away the blackbirds." Another boy had put on the coat, but not the shoes, and stood in the center of the garden, holding his arms out like a scarecrow. "Peter ran all the way home to his mother. His mother was disappointed to hear Peter had not listened and lost his coat and shoes."

Liddy turned around to face Alan. "I warned you not to go near Mr. McGregor's garden, Peter."

"I know. I'm sorry, Mother." Alan held his stomach, pretending as if he had a stomachache.

She turned back to the audience to conclude the play. "Peter did not feel well to enjoy the blackberry dinner their mother had planned for that night. So, his mother sent him to bed with some camomile tea while Flopsy," the girls from the start, returned as their names were mentioned, "Mopsy, and Cottontail ate their dinner of blackberries, milk, and bread. The end."

The audience clapped as the entire class lined up to take a bow. Shelby remained hidden in the back, refusing to take down her paper cabbage.

When the clapping died down, the class recited in union. "That was our play of Peter Rabbit. We thank you for coming and we hope you will come back for our kindergarten graduation show at the end of the month. We will share with you all we have learned in kindergarten. Good-bye and have a wonderful day." The students then divided off, going two separate ways. Darla returned to inform everyone there was fruit punch and treats for all to enjoy.

Shelby rejoined Luke, Rachel, Lorelai, and Rory, who gave her praises.

"You played that cabbage well," Lorelai said in a playful, teasing way. "You looked good enough to eat."

Shelby smiled up at her.

"Can I have a high five for a brilliant play?" Rory asked her, bending over.

She nodded and smacked her hand, gently.

Luke couldn't be anymore relieved when he heard Shelby would graduate kindergarten and would move onto first grade next year. While she was showing Rachel her artwork, Luke talked with Darla.

"I still can't believe this is the same kid who wouldn't come out of the cupboard a month ago," she was saying.

He shrugged in agreement.

Darla then went on and on about how much improvement Shelby has been making. She still wasn't speaking in class or anything, but Shelby was sitting in her seat, doing her work, and sitting with them during story time and eating in the cafeteria at their table. A hint of proudness was spreading across his face even as Luke tried to contain himself. However, they were still a little nervous. Unlike the play where Shelby could hide herself, there would be no way for her to hide during the kindergarten graduation show the class was going to put on for the parents. Luke had a little less than a month to prepare Shelby for it.

Well, the kid came this far. No telling what Shelby would surprise him with in a few short weeks.