a/n Please note the change of rating for this chapter. I'm sure you can all guess what that means. Huge thanks to Stormkpr for betaing it as always. Happy reading!
Clarke finds it oddly quiet, as she drives to Shallow Valley. She's grown so used to being surrounded by people in recent weeks that it feels strange to be alone now. Most of all it is weird to be out and about without Madi – the girl has been occupying her attention almost every waking moment since they met. Clarke is worried about her, instinctively, but on a rational level she knows that Madi is safer at Arkadia right now than driving around through the desert.
She calls Bellamy several times while she drives. It helps the isolation feel less intimidating, somehow. Even though he cannot hear her, she enjoys describing every feature of the landscape to him. She likes to think he'd appreciate that, locked beneath the ground in Polis, if only the radios were still working.
The wasteland looks much as it did last month on the drive to Arkadia. Mostly flat, dry, and sandy. She really hopes this Shallow Valley projection is true, because they stand no chance of survival out here. She has a great deal of faith in Monty and the rest of the agriculture team, but it would take a minor miracle to make this land habitable.
Despite the bleakness and the loneliness, she rather enjoys the drive. She can see what Bellamy meant about the calmness of the empty road ahead, when they discussed it once before. There's something lovely about emptying her mind of all thoughts other than driving safely through the desert. It's oddly soothing, after so long trying desperately to multitask.
She's been going for several hours by the time she crests a hill and sees gold turn to green. It's surreal how quickly the landscape changes – almost as if the death wave skipped right over this valley.
It looks like Raven was right.
Clarke presses on, even though she supposes she's seen enough to confirm the projections. She decides there's no harm in scouting further, checking on the area that survived, or the quality of the soil, or whether any game has survived or homes are still standing. And besides which, she wouldn't get back to Arkadia today now, so she might as well make the most of staying. She set out planning to spend the night here, and that is what she will do.
She knows there was a decent sized settlement in the middle of Shallow Valley land, so she heads for where she believes that to have been. She only has a vague memory from Raven's map to go on, but it's better than nothing. And she's still enjoying the drive, still happy to be out exploring rather than sitting in Arkadia and feeling the pressure.
It's when she sees the tyre tracks that she first gets her suspicions.
They're recent, fresh, and they're leading down this rutted road that heads in the general direction of where she expects to find the town. That can't be a coincidence, she's pretty sure. Someone has clearly come here recently, in a rover, scouting out the land.
And there are no tyre tracks heading back again.
It has to be someone from the Polis bunker – they're the only other people with rovers. And unless they found a different route home, they must still be here.
There are only three people in the Polis bunker who know how to drive. And only one of them truly likes driving, and tends to need a bit of time out to escape from his emotions, and tends to sign up for substantial missions for the good of his people.
No. She mustn't get her hopes up. This isn't necessarily Bellamy. It could well be Miller or Raven – and naturally she'd be happy to see either of them, too.
But in her heart of hearts, she's already convinced that it is Bellamy.
She laughs a little at her own foolishness. She could swear she used to let her head lead the way more often, back before she got into the habit of sharing her every thought and feeling with Bellamy. But maybe it's doing her good to allow herself to be a little more human. She definitely feels better, today, than she did during that month she spent in the Polis bunker trying to shove her emotions to one side.
All the same, she hasn't completely lost her mind. She convinces herself to keep driving steadily and safely as she heads towards the village. No matter who is ahead of her, she knows there is no point in rushing and having an accident.
In an effort to keep herself busy, she reaches for her radio as she drives.
"Hey, Bellamy. Not sure if that's you."
She pauses, leaves a beat of silence in which he would reply, if he could. She likes their one-sided chats to follow the rhythm of a real conversation.
"Anyway – if it is you, can you sit tight in the village and wait for me? Have a look around, maybe check out the houses. I'll be there any minute."
Another pause.
"I hope it's you." She allows herself to whisper. "I really, really hope it's you, Bellamy."
She sets down the radio. She thinks she can see the trees thinning, can see glimpses of colour through the branches. She drives a little further and, sure enough, this is the village. Small houses, of sound structure. Lots of colour – it's much brighter than the Trikru settlements she has seen.
And there, on the other side of the clearing, a rover is parked.
Eager to explore – and eager to find out who drove that rover here – she pulls up, hops straight out the door. She takes in the scene quickly. The rover door is open, with a trail of bootprints leading towards one of the houses. Not Raven, then – the prints are far too large and even for her. So that means it must be either Miller or -
It's Bellamy. He's here, now, dashing forwards to meet her.
She doesn't allow herself to overthink it. She runs towards him, flings her arms about his neck.
And then she presses her lips to his in a fierce and long-overdue kiss.
…...
Bellamy isn't particularly surprised to find Clarke kissing him. He heard the rover noise and concluded easily enough that he had company from either Arkadia or Polis, and once he saw it was Clarke a kiss seemed like a natural next step. He's been waiting for a private moment to steer things in this direction for quite some time now, so this makes perfect sense to him.
So he's not surprised at all, but he is remarkably happy. Kissing her is every bit as good as he always knew it would be – all fire and urgency and determination, but with a generous dose of tender care, too. Her lips are eager even as her hand is gentle on the back of his neck, and he tries to return the kiss in kind, knitting one hand into her hair and using the other to pull her snug up against his front.
They pull apart eventually. It seems best. They do still need to find a new home for the human race today.
"That was a nice surprise." He says lightly, with one hand still resting at her hip.
She grins. "Sorry. Too much? It's just so good to see you."
He pecks her briefly on the lips once more, just because it seems like he can, now. "Not too much at all. It was perfect."
She smiles up at him. He smiles down at her. The two of them stand there, smiling rather foolishly at each other, for several long seconds.
It is Clarke who moves things along at last.
"I guess we should check this place out. That's why we're here, right?"
He nods. "Yeah. Thought I'd come scout it out. I didn't expect you to be here too but it's a nice coincidence."
"Great minds think alike." She supplies brightly. "Are you staying the night too? I know it's not such a long drive for you."
"Yeah, that's the plan. I could probably have done it all in one day but this seemed safer."
She's giving him a considering sort of a look, he notes. He frowns lightly, still holding her against him.
"What?" He asks, brow quirked.
"I'm just proud of you." She admits, eyes sliding away. "Making the decision to come out here and do this without me or your sister, and thinking it all through. You've come a long way from whatever the hell we want."
"And you've come a long way from love is weakness." He reminds her softly.
She flushes slightly. He wonders whether that mention of love was too much, too soon. Are they supposed to pretend for a little longer that they're only very close friends? Very close friends who happen to kiss passionately after a month apart?
No. She's not bothered about it at all – only slightly self-conscious. He figures that out when she kisses him once more for good measure, before pulling away from his arms but keeping hold of one of his hands as she goes.
"Come on." She starts tugging him in the direction of the house he just left. "You have to show me around. Found us a new home yet?"
He grins down at her, squeezes her hand as they keep walking. He may be doing better at making his own choices, but this is one decision he thinks is best left at least half to Clarke.
He shows her that house – by which he means that he leads the way to the door, but then she drags him around the place, peering in every corner. And then they move to the next house, and the next and the next. They pass a productive hour or so in assessing every house in the village and concluding that they are all of sound construction, all suitable for families to move straight into.
"We won't have enough for everyone right away. Some people will have to camp while we build more." He points out, when they have investigated them all.
"Yeah. I guess we move the families with young kids in first."
He nods, because that makes sense. "See anything you like for you and Madi?"
She slants him an odd look. "I plan to let her choose when we move here. I don't want to upset her seeing as she used to live here. She might want to pick her parents' old home or she might prefer to live as far away as possible."
He nods again. That makes sense, and he feels a little insensitive for having asked the question at all.
It seems Clarke is not done talking. "If that's OK with you, Bellamy? I mean – I know we haven't really talked about it properly – but I thought we were – you know. Moving in."
He grins down at her, reaches in for a quick kiss. That's a bad habit he seems to have developed this morning – kissing her whenever the fancy takes him.
That's pretty much all the time.
"I was hoping that too." He says easily. He can hear the excitement brimming in his tone, even though there's a little nervousness there, too. It's an odd business, starting a more romantic chapter with his closest friend. And based on the expression on Clarke's face, she's feeling much the same way.
"That's good." She pauses a moment. "I get it if you want to change your mind, though. I know we first started talking about the chickens before I met Madi and – yeah. I get it if you didn't plan on having a six year old in your life."
"I'm not about to give up on you that easily." He tells her fiercely. "And anyway, I like children and Madi seems great. Sure, I didn't see us having a kid together the moment we moved in. But this is how it is, and that's fine. We'll figure it out. I just don't want Madi to feel weird about me showing up in her life out of the blue." He admits cautiously.
Clarke laughs. "She doesn't. As far as she's concerned, you've been part of the deal since the moment she met me – you just weren't around at the time. I know it might take us all a while to adjust but it's not going to be a problem."
That's it. That's the moment he truly allows himself to believe that this is happening, that what's going on here is more than a few coincidental kisses. He sags slightly in relief, a broad smile spreading across his cheeks.
And then he kisses Clarke once more for good measure.
She catches the back of his head with a hand as he goes to pull away, pulls him in for a kiss that's rather deeper and more lingering than he had planned. It's still chaste, more or less, but it's going places. It has whispers of good things yet to come.
It's Clarke who pulls away and speaks up first.
"You know, the first time I got a girlfriend on the Ark was much simpler than this. I just invited her to a movie and told her we were dating now."
He laughs. He can just imagine Clarke doing that, actually.
"I don't care how complicated it is as long as I'm building a life with you at the end of it." He tells her honestly.
He's got a lot better at total honesty, these last couple of months. He likes to think that's all thanks to Clarke.
…...
Clarke's having the best day of her life.
She feels horrible for saying that. They found dozens of dead bodies in the church and had to build a funeral pyre. They spent the early part of the afternoon raking through the homes of those lost in Praimfaya. And over and above everything else there's a tiny voice in her mind whispering that she's being selfish. That she's neglecting Madi and her mother and her duty to her people by being here at all.
But today she has the strength and joy to ignore that voice, and to combine finding a new home for the human race with having a seriously great time.
It's not just kissing Bellamy. It's nothing so shallow as that. It's more the security and warmth that comes with knowing they're totally on the same page about their relationship, the sense of belonging she feels at the idea of them setting up a family home with Madi. Sure, she's been suspecting for a while now that things were heading this way. But it's so comfortable, to have everything out in the open and truly resolved.
And there has been precious little that's comfortable about Earth so far, so this hits all the harder.
That's the main reason she's so happy today, and she knows it. The joy of spending time with Bellamy and planning for their personal future, as well as the wider future of the human race, feels so much brighter now that they've survived some truly horrific ordeals. This green valley, the gentle sun, and the company of someone she loves are exactly the sort of things she used to dream of, when she dreamed of Earth. She used to draw trees like the great oaks she sees on the edge of the village, used to dream of starting a family in a cozy wood cabin, able to smell spring on the breeze.
In short, this is everything she has ever wanted. And she cannot believe it is in touching distance, not after the uphill struggle they have faced to get here.
They move away from the village in the afternoon. They take Bellamy's rover out to explore further afield, scouting for game and to investigate the quality of the land. And when Bellamy volunteers to drive, she doesn't try to stop him. She knows he's not just offering out of a sense of duty, these days, or because he feels he's supposed to drive his womenfolk around. He's offering because he genuinely quite likes driving, and that's that.
Clarke decides that her contribution to making this a pleasant road trip will be to make conversation. They've got another missed month to catch up on, after all, and they have spent more of this afternoon talking about buildings than about themselves so far.
"How are things with your sister?" She decides to start there.
"Really good." Bellamy offers easily. "It's like I've stopped seeing her so much as a little sister, you know? She's more family in some other sense, like one of the hundred only more special. I don't make a fuss of her and she doesn't lash out at me. But we still have each other's backs when it matters."
She reaches over and squeezes his thigh for that. She figures a comforting gesture won't go amiss, and anyway, he has nice thighs. She's always giving his hands plenty of attention or even patting him on the arm, but now they're really together and all she figures it's time to make up the difference.
He continues to speak, which she thinks is a good and healthy thing. Maybe all that practice talking into a radio has done them both some good.
"We make a pretty great team in the bunker. The grounders respect her, and she and Indra seem to read each other's minds. And then I guess I try to think what you would do or Kane would do."
She'll take that. One of these days he's going to forgive himself for his Pike phase far enough that he'll do what Bellamy Blake would do – only an older and wiser Bellamy Blake than the one she first met. But she understands that he's not there yet, and that's fine. They're both still learning and growing.
"What about your mum?" He asks now.
She sighs. Where to begin? "It's funny." She says, a million miles from laughter. "It's like what you said about your sister. It's like she's not my mother any more. Like I'm taking care of her and having to reassure her all the time. And she feels really guilty about it, which I guess I can understand but she shouldn't. Earth has been horrific so far. It's broken all of us in different ways."
He nods a solemn nod. He knows all about regretting decisions Earth has driven him to, every bit as much as she does. That's one of the reasons they understand each other so compassionately.
"We're starting over now though. Here in this valley." He points out. From anyone else, the words might have sounded dismissive, like an empty platitude. But Bellamy has his heart in his voice as he speaks and in his eyes as he peers across at her while he drives.
"Yeah. You're right. I'm so happy about this, Bellamy."
He grins, reaches out to squeeze her hand. She sincerely hopes they will stay this tactile forever, even once the initial novelty of their acknowledged relationship wears off. She thinks the odds are pretty good, considering their habit of close hugging even long before they got together.
They move onto lighter topics after that. She asks him about Roman history again – not because she particularly cares to learn more about Roman history, but because she's been nursing something of a nostalgic soft spot for the topic ever since that trip home from the lab. He asks her what she managed to draw with her pencils, and she tells him the honest truth – that she drew everything from Finn's dying breath to the vibrant trees that used to cluster on the riverbanks near the dropship. And they talk, too, about the sights they see on their journey – plenty of healthy green forest, a number of birds, and enough fresh tracks to suggest a small but tenacious population of deer.
At last, the afternoon lengthens and the light starts to fail them. Clarke suggests heading back to spend the night in the village, and Bellamy agrees readily enough, turning the rover for home.
No. It's not home yet. But it will be, soon.
Clarke wonders if things might start to get awkward between them at some point – or at least a little uncomfortable, as she and Bellamy start stepping into the unknown together. What will happen when they reach the village? Will they share food? Will they share more kisses? Will they share a bed?
Will she finally get to show him that she finds him physically attractive, as well as comfortably compatible with her?
It's an odd business. She's been buzzing at his nearness all afternoon, and all these frequent kisses are not making things any easier. But there just hasn't been an obvious convenient moment to drop everything and screw. They've been keeping busy, exploring their new home while they had the light.
She doesn't know how to tell him that she wants to keep busy with his cock when it gets dark.
She needn't have worried, in the end. Bellamy handles it all with his usual paradoxical cocktail of brute force and tender care.
"You want to pick a house to spend the night in or are we bunking up in the back of a rover?" He asks lightly, as he pulls to a halt.
"What would you prefer?" She asks carefully. His words have brought on a sudden vision of consummating their relationship with a rough-and-ready hot hookup in the back of a rover, and it's getting her more excited than it probably should.
He shrugs. "Up to you, Clarke. I've got the blankets you gave me the other month so we could be comfortable enough in here."
That decides it. He wouldn't have mentioned that if he wasn't keen on the idea, she's pretty certain. And there's something about the light in his eyes that suggests to her that he might be entertaining the odd Earth-sex fantasy, here.
She tests her hypothesis.
"I think the real question here is whether you want our first time to be in a rover?"
He grins sharply. "Is it bad that I kind of do?"
She laughs. That's definitely that settled. "You want supper first or you want rover sex first?"
That has him laughing in turn, and she's glad of it. This is exactly what their first time making love should be like – matter of fact and fun, with plenty of laughter. That's how it should be between two best friends who happen to be together, she's pretty sure. And the lightness isn't taking away from the sexiness at all – if anything, it is only reminding her with force that this is Bellamy, and she wants him like she has never wanted anyone in her life before.
"Supper can wait." She informs him briskly, unlacing her boots. She kicks them off eagerly, then climbs through to the back of the rover.
"I'll second that." He agrees, toeing off his own boots and following her.
"Where are these blankets?"
He tugs them from his pack, lays them out on the bottom of the rover. And then he turns to look at her, brows raised, eyes filled with humour and heat and everything that defines them.
"Any requests, Princess?"
The shock of the old nickname shoots right through her, toes curling in sudden arousal. He's trouble, this man, but he's her trouble. She sort of wants to fight back, banter with him like the bickering that defined their early relationship. She could say something about having fun, or make an innuendo about shooting straight.
But she's never been a patient woman, and right now she just wants to make up for lost time. She steps forward, kisses him hungrily on the lips, tangles her fingers in his hair and then uses them to tug him slightly back from the kiss.
He groans when she does that, and it's utterly thrilling.
"Whatever the hell you want." She tells him, laughing against his mouth.
He snorts, chases her lips for another kiss. She tugs at his hair a little more, gets him groaning slightly louder. He loses patience with her, grabs at her arms and tugs her playfully against him – hard enough to show her he's taking charge for a moment, but not hard enough to make her uncomfortable.
"It's a serious question." He murmurs against her ear, before ducking to kiss his way down her neck. "I want this to be good for you, Clarke."
"Bellamy. It'll be good. You're you."
He sighs, buries his face in her hair for a moment. "Are we seriously bickering over who gets to take the lead here?"
She nods, laughing, because that does seem to be true. "I always found your cocky strong guy routine at the dropship hotter than I liked to admit. So go for it." She recommends, without self-consciousness.
"You see I always found you trying to boss me around and taking charge pretty hot." He admits, still inexplicably kissing along her neck.
Ah. So that's what's really going on here. She giggles a little more, but it comes out breathy, because Bellamy seems to have moved on to sucking lightly at the soft skin of her neck, and it's playing dangerous games with her insides.
"We're going to take it in turns." Bellamy decides, pulling back to look her in the eye. "We can mix it up, right? We have the rest of our lives to try loads of things. But today I'm going to lie in the back of a rover and you're going to ride me until I'm crying your name."
She shivers. There's something about the way he says it that makes her absolutely certain he's thought about this before. That he's fantasised about it for months – maybe even that dreams like this were what saw him through all those long rover drives without her, in the approach to Praimfaya.
And the hottest thing of all? She still feels like he's flexing his strength for her, here, by ordering her to play her part.
She nods, uncharacteristically meek. She'll do this for him. She'll do whatever he wants her to do in the bedroom or in the rover, within reason. She'll be good for him.
She looks him firmly in the eye and gives him what he wants.
"Take your clothes off and lie down for me."
He whines slightly, tries to reach in for another kiss. She pulls away, brow quirked. "You heard me."
He pouts, but she can see the excitement in his eyes. He strips quickly, and she does likewise. She can see his gaze on her breasts as she removes her bra without ceremony, can see the hunger as he looks at her.
They've waited a long time. And she thinks that making him wait just a few more seconds before allowing him to touch her breasts might stretch out even more beautiful tension for both of them.
"Lie down." She repeats.
He does. He lies on the blankets and looks up at her, pleading silently. She relents, straddles him so she's sitting on his stomach and presses a quick kiss to his lips.
"This OK?" She mutters briefly in his ear. She's wary of breaking the mood, but she wants to check she's got the right idea.
"Perfect." He assures her, reaching in for another kiss.
They kiss a bit longer. She thinks she's made her point, set the tone he wants. And she's got a long hard cock jutting into her butt cheek to reassure her of that. She's looking forward to spending more time with that cock, in the months and years ahead.
But more than anything, she's looking forward to spending more time with Bellamy.
Their kisses grow more heated, their hands grow more curious. She reaches for his hand and moves it to her breast, telling him wordlessly that he's allowed to touch her there, now.
That's not quite right. She needs him to touch her there. She's getting wound up pretty quickly, here.
"Clarke -" Bellamy groans her name, bucking his hips towards her uselessly.
She grins. She likes this. She can feel his toned stomach flexing against her sensitive clit, and the raw strength that has him shifting her weight so easily is something of a turn-on too.
"I've got you." She promises, kneeling a little higher and positioning herself over his cock. "You good?"
He nods. She eases down onto him, lets out a gasp of shocked pleasure at the fullness. Bellamy smiles up at her, heart in his eyes.
This was worth waiting for, she decides in that moment. Sure, she still wishes they hadn't had to. She wishes their lives had played out differently – more safely, for one thing. But she'd willingly live a thousand lifetimes if that's what it takes to earn a moment like this with Bellamy.
She gets moving, starts rocking her hips above him. He's moaning in pleasure within seconds, so she decides to stretch his self control even further. She cups a hand about his head, tangles her fingers in his hair and tugs his head towards her breast. He gets the picture, latches onto her nipple and suckles gently while she holds his head cradled against her.
It feels so good she almost falls apart on the spot.
She holds it together, concentrates carefully on keeping her strokes up and down his cock as long as possible. She wants to tease herself a bit further, wants to get him wound as tight as possible too. She knows it'll be worth the effort of drawing this out for a few moments more.
She lets his head go, allows him to relax back onto the floor of the rover so he's looking up at her, grimacing hard, eyes losing focus. She shifts her hands, clasps at his shoulder, nails biting down hard on firm muscle.
"Clarke!" He was right, it turns out. He really is crying her name. "Yes, Clarke. Clarke -"
She cuts him off with her lips, kisses him messily for a few seconds. But she's going to come soon, and she wants to sit up for that, wants to feel the full length of him hitting deep inside her and the delicious pressure of his hips as she grinds down on them for good measure. So she rocks back, hands still clenched on his shoulders, gasping for breath.
"You feel so good." She tells him, because it's the truth. "Gonna come soon. Gonna come on your -"
She does. She doesn't even manage to finish the sentence. She comes hard, clenching around him, sagging weakly forwards onto his chest. And she doesn't have so much as a moment to be mildly embarrassed about coming so quickly, being so transparently gone for him, because he's there seconds later, spilling inside of her, bucking his hips hard even while she lies breathless on top of him.
They lie where they are and catch their breath in great stuttering sighs.
"I knew we'd be great in bed." Bellamy says idly, when he can talk in whole sentences. His voice doesn't sound arrogant, as such, not like the man she met at the dropship. But he does sound comfortably confident in this truth.
"You can say that again." She laughs, still breathless, still wondering whether the world has shifted on its axis or whether it's only that her world now revolves around him once and for all.
She peels herself away from him and forces herself to recall that it's not strictly true. Her world still revolves around leading her people and caring for Madi – one duty which she loves far more than the other. But Bellamy plays a major and now rather more defined role in her life, and that's awesome.
They curl up together in the blankets. Clarke knows they ought to put some clothes on before they get cold, just as she knows that they ought to eat some supper or note down their findings from the day. But that can wait a moment, she's pretty sure.
"Thanks, Clarke. That – uh – it was even better than I imagined." He laughs, a little awkward and self-conscious for the first time since the kiss that afternoon, she thinks.
"It was a good idea of yours. Any other fantasies you want to share?" She comes right out and asks it.
"Maybe later. You?"
She thinks about it. She doesn't really know where to start, if she's being honest. It's a good job they have their whole lives ahead of them, because it's going to take a good few months at least to get through everything she wants them to try in bed.
"Yeah. Like you said – later. We should really eat something and then talk about plans for this village."
He laughs a little, presses a kiss to her sweaty forehead. "Sure. Whatever the hell you want."
She sits up slowly, starts reaching for her clothes. But there's still one last thing she wants to say, before the mood of this moment flees forever. She wants to make it clear that she seriously enjoyed that, and that she wants this to be a passionate sexual relationship rather than only two close friends who happen to live together.
"How many more times do you think we can manage before I have to leave in the morning?" She asks pertly.
He laughs, sits up into a kiss. She tries not to stare too hard at the way his stomach muscles move with the motion, and mostly fails.
"Give me ten minutes and I'll probably be good to go again." He says, and she's not convinced he's joking.
"Ten minutes?" It's half disbelieving, half excited squeal.
"What can I say? You're beautiful and I've been in love with you for months." He says, as if that's something he can just come out and say like that. As if it's the most obvious and matter of fact confession in the world.
Maybe it is, she wonders. Maybe that's how it was always going to be, for them. Maybe the radio calls and the lengthy separations and the way fate seems to have conspired against them were always going to lead them here.
"I love you too." She tells him easily. She seems to remember she found it harder to talk about her feelings, before she spent so many hours on the radio with this man.
He smiles softly at her, reaches up to cup her chin and brush a gentle thumb over her cheek. But all the while, there's a teasing light in his eyes.
"What? No compliment for me?" He jokes, words barely louder than a whisper.
She rolls her eyes, reaches forward to kiss him. "You know how you look. You're gorgeous. Happy now?"
"Never been happier." He admits, voice hoarse.
Yes. She supposes that's probably true.
a/n Thanks for reading!