Author's Note:
Hi, guys! So, Elizabeth is finally in Derbyshire BUT I think her knowing that Darcy is home would have changed things a little, don't you? Be patient, the reunion is coming!
P.S.: this is the longest chapter so far to make up for the fact that this is not the reunion. Sorry!
Stay safe!
Jen
"A Darcy has been the Master of Pemberley ever since it was built. We have been thinking about this the wrong way! Pemberley and Darcys, they are one and the same! Fitzwilliam is the only male Darcy left and he shall be the last one!"
As Fitzwilliam's words resonated in their minds, a look of comprehension finally crossed Mr. Darcy's face.
I did not wish to offend my family name and lineage, and now I have destroyed both. It shall all end with me.
"This is not about Pemberley's downfall, but the Darcy's."
13.
Once they were back at Pemberley, the consequences of Fitzwilliam's decision were obvious to both parents now and the reason they were here had finally been revealed, but they found their reactions were different to what they had expected.
"It is such a long legacy," Mr. Darcy said, "but I confess that the reason I wish Fitzwilliam to marry Miss Bennet has nothing to do with Pemberley."
"Your ancestors would be appalled, my dear," Lady Anne said. "But I agree with you. Our son's happiness is more important than lineage."
"I would not wish for him to marry someone else."
"No, of course not. There must be something we can do or we would not be here."
"He shall see her again, for Bingley will marry Miss Bennet."
"But how can we intervene? They are in Hertfordshire and we cannot leave Pemberley," Lady Anne argued.
"Perhaps he could invite them?"
"Or we could convince him to try to court Miss Elizabeth. He has fixed his mistakes and he is working on improving his character. She might change her mind about him."
"She might, but how do we bring her here?"
"Oh, I do not know, but we must think of something!"
As they argued, unbeknownst to them, Elizabeth Bennet was riding on a carriage with her aunt and uncle towards Derbyshire.
Elizabeth was having lunch with Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner at the inn in Lambton and could not help but think that Derbyshire was the most beautiful place in the world for a lover of nature.
"I think I should be quite happy to stay my whole life in Derbyshire," she declared.
"I knew you would love it here, my dear," her aunt smiled at her. "The contrast is quite astonishing, is it not? Nature and culture in harmony. Wildness and artifice, and all in one perfect county."
"Although your aunt is a bit biased," Mr. Gardiner chuckled as he threw an affectionate look at his wife.
"The southern counties have nothing to compare to the wild and untamed beauty of the Peaks," Mrs. Gardiner argued, teasingly.
"But Lizzy," her uncle turned to her. "What do you think, my dear, of these fine and richly furnished houses? Is Chatsworth not the equal of Blenheim?"
"I think they are all astonishing and imposing in their grandeur, dear Uncle, but I confess I prefer the gardens."
"Of course you do," Mrs. Gardiner smiled knowingly. "Then we must visit Pemberley tomorrow. The grounds are delightful and they have some of the finest woods in the country."
"Oh," Elizabeth blushed. "We have no business there. I should feel awkward visiting the place without a proper invitation."
"No more than Blenheim or Chatsworth. There was no awkwardness there," Mr. Gardiner argued.
"You forget, Uncle, that I know Pemberley's master. I could not impose on the family in such a way."
"I suppose the associations are not pleasant either," Mrs. Gardiner commented. "After all, Mr. Wickham passed all his youth there and you have just discovered he was a dishonourable man. And you never liked Mr. Darcy."
"It is not that," Elizabeth said, ashamed of her old perceptions of the man. "I simply would not wish to intrude. Please, do not ask it of me."
Before her aunt and uncle could reply, Hannah, the maid, entered and served their food.
"How far are we from Pemberley, my dear?" Mr. Gardiner asked.
"Not more than five miles, sir."
"The grounds are very fine, are they not?"
"As fine as you'll see anywhere, Ma'am. My oldest brother is an under-gardener there."
"Is the family here for the summer?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes, Ma'am. Both Mr. and Miss Darcy are at home," Hannah replied before she retired.
"Very well, Lizzy," Mrs. Gardiner said. "If you do not wish to go, we cannot force you. We shall go somewhere else."
"Oh, no! If you wish to see it, you can certainly go. Mr. Darcy does not know you, but I would not be comfortable going myself."
"We cannot leave you here alone," Mr. Gardiner argued.
"I enjoyed making Miss Scott's acquaintance yesterday and she offered to show me Lambton. I shall take her offer and walk with her. Afterwards, I can come back to the inn and write to Jane or take a nap. Do not worry about me."
"Well, I am not very well acquainted with Miss Scott, but her mother is a dear old friend of mine, so I suppose she can escort you safely," Mrs. Gardiner said. "But are you sure, my dear? We shall not mind going somewhere else."
"I am absolutely sure, Aunt, as long as you promise to take particular note of the gardens and the woods to tell me about it later," Elizabeth smiled reassuringly at her aunt and then with a mischievous glint, added: "Besides, I am sure you and my uncle shall enjoy a day without your impertinent niece running about and climbing hills."
Mrs. Gardiner laughed. "Only if you promise to be careful and not run about or climb hills in our absence."
"I do not know if I can make such a promise, Aunt," Elizabeth chuckled.
She was relieved that her relatives would not force her to face Mr. Darcy, for he could not possibly want to see her.
There are some moments in life when one is at the perfect time at the perfect moment. It is extraordinary how one can be so close to someone or something and not know it, and it is even more remarkable how one decision, whether conscious or capricious, can stop one from missing something so absolutely crucial as to alter forever the life of the person you love the most.
That was the case when Mr. Darcy and Lady Anne decided to accompany Mrs. Reynolds as she showed the house to a very fashionable and amiable couple. They knew that the only reason their housekeeper was allowing people to tour the house while the family was at home was that their son was quite busy in his study and their daughter was equally engaged with her music master. Fitzwilliam would probably be there for a couple more hours and this couple seemed excited to see the house. Mrs. Reynolds liked them immediately and she was even more willing when she found out that Mrs. Gardiner was born and raised in Lambton.
Mrs. Reynolds walked them around the public rooms that were usually shown and Lady Anne and Mr. Darcy enjoyed hearing the stories their dear housekeeper told. Her affection for their children was evident and it touched them deeply.
"Oh, this is a beautiful piano," Mrs. Gardiner said.
"That is the old piano. My master has just bought a new one for Miss Darcy and it is the most exquisite thing I have ever seen."
"Your master is at home, I understand. I hope we are not a bother," Mr. Gardiner said, trying to see if their niece was right.
"Oh, of course not. He is working right now and we shall probably not see him at all," Mrs. Reynolds said and guided them to a beautiful portrait. "Here, this portrait was painted earlier this year for Miss Darcy's sixteenth birthday."
"Ah! She is a very handsome young lady," Mr. Gardiner said.
"Oh, yes! The handsomest young lady that ever was seen. And so accomplished. She plays and sings all day long!" Mrs. Reynolds said proudly and walked them to a glass case in the next room. "And that is my master. And very like him, too. He is a handsome gentleman, is he not, Ma'am?
"It is a handsome face," Mrs. Gardiner replied.
"I am sure I know none so handsome. Nor so kind."
"Indeed?" Mr. Gardiner asked, surprised.
"Aye, sir, he is the best master one could ask. Fair and just," she said, as she remembered how he apologised for the way he had barked orders so coldly when he came back from Kent and how he had compensated them for it. She knew no one from the ton would ever lower themselves to a servant. "I have known him since he was four years old. But then, I have always observed that those who are good-natured when they are children are good-natured when they grow up. His mother was kindness and beauty itself and his father was an excellent man. His son is just like him; the best landlord, and the best master. Ask any of his tenants or his servants. Some people call him proud, but I fancy that is only because he does not rattle away like other young men do."
Mr. Darcy and Lady Anne have always been proud of their son, but never so much as now when they heard such complimentary words from one of his servants. Of course, they knew he was not perfect, for they had witnessed his many mistakes and flaws, and they also knew that Mrs. Reynolds' maternal affection for Fitzwilliam rendered her biased, but they still knew her words to be true and they were also very much affected by her words about them.
"It is a wonderful portrait, but I have never seen the original," Mrs. Gardiner said and, making a decision more significant that she could know at that time, commented: "I wish Lizzy were here. She would be able to tell us if it looks like Mr. Darcy."
"Oh, does one of your friends know my master?" Mrs. Reynolds asked, intrigued.
"A little, I think. Our niece, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, made his acquaintance last year in Hertfordshire," Mrs. Gardiner replied and was oblivious to the gasps that came from Mr. Darcy and Lady Anne.
"Elizabeth!" Lady Anne exclaimed and was so overwhelmed that she did not know what to do. "Fitzwilliam!"
"We must find him," Mr. Darcy said.
"She would love the gardens," Mrs. Gardiner added. "Can we walk them for a few minutes before we leave, Mrs. Reynolds?"
"Of course," Mrs. Reynolds replied and walked them out.
Whatever they said after that was not heard by the two very affected parents as they thought how to inform Fitzwilliam.
"He needs to know that Elizabeth's aunt and uncle are here! This must be fate!" Lady Anne said as they walked to the study in raptures.
Fitzwilliam was working on his ledgers as he did most days and, as it had been for many months now, the task was taking more time than it should. He was getting used to the constant distraction caused by dreaming while awake, but he feared he would never get accustomed to the grief and sorrow in his heart.
He closed the ledger for a moment and looked among his papers for the letter that Mr. Bennet had sent him a few weeks ago. He thought it was pathetic that he clung to the letter of an old man because it was a link to the woman of his dreams. Mr. Bennet's letter did not offer a lot of information. He thanked Darcy for his warning, promised to keep his confidence and do as much as he could to protect his daughters and the ladies from Meryton. He wrote that he was forgiven for his previous behaviour and that he, too, was not a social man. There was also a lot of teasing about the "diplomatic" way in which he had referred to his youngest daughters and Fitzwilliam was surprised by the way his teasing and banter were similar to Elizabeth's. How had he not seen it? He had spent very little time with Mr. Bennet and had barely exchanged words with the man, but he had already decided that he was not worth his time. It was clear, and quite ironic, that there was a lot of Mr. Bennet in Elizabeth. The man ended his letter by thanking him for removing Wickham from Hertfordshire and expressing his good wishes for his family.
Fitzwilliam ran his finger over the name "Bennet" on the signature as he thought, filled with remorse and anguish, that it should have been his son's name. He smiled as he imagined a green-eyed little boy with bouncing chestnut curls and a mischievous spirit calling him Papa and he could feel tears pricking his eyes. That was another thing he had renounced—he would never have children. It was not something he had thought about in the past. He always assumed he would have children, for he needed an heir, but the reality of a small child running around Pemberley had not truly crossed his mind until he started wishing to have one with Elizabeth. Now this little boy would never exist, nor would his own little Lizzy ever come to be and he grieved for them as much as for himself.
He folded the letter and tucked it away, as he tried to convince himself that he needed to concentrate on his work. No sooner had he started again than the door of his study swung open with much force. He was startled and angry, for who would dare to open the door in such a way, especially when he was working here?! Since he did not see anyone at the door, he walked to the hall and looked around but there was no one there. He gasped as he saw a vase down the hall move back and forth once and he suddenly realised who would dare to open the door in such a way.
"Mother? Father?" he whispered, half hopeful, half terrified.
The vase moved again and he walked towards it. From there he could see another hall and one of the doors opened quite decidedly. He walked towards the door and crossed it. Time and time again, he followed the movements and the doors that opened as he let his parents guide him. He did not know why they were doing this or where they were taking him, but he trusted them implicitly and would follow them blindly. The main door opened slightly—he guessed it was so as not to spook the poor footmen—and without hesitation, he walked outside to the gardens.
"What am I looking for?" he asked out loud, feeling he was acting like a mad man.
There were no vases, portraits or candelabras here to move and guide him so he looked around and tried to find anything out of the ordinary. He spotted a couple walking near the late but the rest looked exactly as it always did.
"Do you wish for me to speak to them?" he asked but received no answer.
Was this a way to get him to be more sociable and amiable to strangers? He knew it had been one of the things he had to improve. He needed to stop making assumptions about strangers and be less aloof and judgemental. Since he did not know what else they could possibly want, he decided to try and talk to the couple. He walked towards them, dreading the fact that he would have to make small talk.
At least they look as if they are fashionable people.
"Good day," he said, startling the couple.
"Oh!" the woman exclaimed.
Fitzwilliam noticed she was handsome and probably only ten years his elder.
"We are terribly sorry for disturbing you, Mr. Darcy," the gentleman said.
He was older than the lady and had a look of politeness and intelligence in his eyes.
"Not at all. I believe I am the one disturbing you," he said, politely. "I saw you and thought I might introduce myself and welcome you to Pemberley, but I see you know my name already."
"Well, we saw your portrait and your housekeeper was most complimentary about you," the lady said.
"Yes, Mrs. Reynolds is a great promoter of any Darcy. I hope you do not take offence if I introduce myself since there is no one to perform the introductions," he smiled as best he could and bowed. "Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy."
"Mr. Darcy, I am Mr. Edward Gardiner and this is my wife, Mrs. Madeline Gardiner."
Fitzwilliam realised that he did not recognise the couple either by looks or name and so he wondered why his parents had led him to them.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, sir," Mrs. Gardiner greeted him with a curtsy.
"Likewise, Madam. Have you enjoyed the tour?" he asked, trying to find a subject to converse with the couple.
"Oh, yes. It has been many years since I have been in Derbyshire and I am enjoying my stay immensely," Mrs. Gardiner replied with a smile.
"You see, Mr. Darcy, my wife was born and raised in Lambton," Mr. Gardiner explained.
"Oh, so we were neighbours once," Fitzwilliam said, relieved to have found common ground—quite literally.
"Indeed, sir. I am convinced there is no beauty like the Peaks."
"I cannot argue with you, Mrs. Gardiner. Would you allow me to show you my favourite parts of the garden?"
Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner were astonished by such civility and good disposition.
"We would not wish to disturb you, sir," Mr. Gardiner argued. "I am sure you are quite busy."
"It shall be no trouble at all," Fitzwilliam replied, knowing it was what his parents wished. He remembered not to assume that people wished for his company and added: "Unless you would prefer solitude, of course."
"Not at all, we could not ask for a better guide than the master of the estate."
"Well, then, let me show you my favourite attractions."
Lady Anne and Mr. Darcy followed, praying that Miss Bennet's name would be mentioned at some point or nothing would be accomplished after guiding Fitzwilliam through the house to the gardens.
Fitzwilliam did his best to converse with the couple and soon found them to be amiable, intelligent, and well-bred. He was fortunate that the first people he approached to "practise", as Elizabeth had said, were people of fashion with good manners. He found they had many interests in common, for Mrs. Gardiner loved Derbyshire and nature and Mr. Gardiner talked about fishing with a lot of passion. He inquired about Mrs. Gardiner's maiden name and her family in Derbyshire and was surprised to discover that she had been Miss Baker whom he remembered vaguely from his childhood. He showed Mr. Gardiner his favourite places to fish in the stream and the lake, and he realised he was enjoying their company very much. Did his parents know he would? Had they known Mrs. Gardiner when she lived in Lambton, perhaps?
Mr. Darcy and Lady Anne had not remembered Mrs. Gardiner upon seeing her, but they now remembered a young girl named Miss Baker. They were too worried, however, by the fact that Elizabeth's name had not come up yet.
"This is my mother's rose garden," Fitzwilliam said when they reached their destination. "And my favourite part of the garden."
"It is lovely," Mr. Gardiner said.
"Lovely! Oh, my dear," Mrs. Gardiner sighed. "It is the perfect combination—well-groomed and wild, man-made, yet natural. I so wished Lizzy had come with us!"
Fitzwilliam's parents sighed in relief that her name was finally mentioned and watched their son pale at hearing the nickname.
"She would love such a garden, I am sure," Mr. Gardiner added.
"L-Lizzy?" Fitzwilliam stammered. He felt as if his heart wanted to escape his chest as his throat constricted, barely allowing him to breathe.
Lizzy. It cannot be my Lizzy. Although she was never mine, she shall always be my Elizabeth in my heart. There are many Elizabeths. It is quite a common name! I must learn not to lose my composure each time I hear it.
As he was trying to convince himself that the possibility of Lizzy being his Elizabeth was null, he suddenly heard Mr. Gardiner voice breaking through the haze in his mind.
"Yes, our niece has accompanied us on our travels but she chose to remain at the inn today."
Following her instincts, Mrs. Gardiner added, as nonchalantly as she could:
"I believe you have made her acquaintance, Mr. Darcy. Do you remember Miss Elizabeth Bennet?"
Did he remember Elizabeth? Fitzwilliam wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Remembering Elizabeth was the only thing he did!
"Yes," he replied, trying to sound calmer than his racing heart allowed him to feel. "I remember Miss Bennet. I hope she and her family are in good health."
"They are, sir. The rest of the girls, my brother, and my sister remain at Longbourn," Mr. Gardiner replied.
Suddenly, Fitzwilliam realised that Elizabeth was five miles from him and she had decided not to tour Pemberley. The significance of her decision was not lost to him and he grieved again as he realised she did not wish to see him at all. Still, he had to try to convey his wish to see her even if she did not care at all.
Lady Anne and Mr. Darcy knew their son too well and noticed how he was trying to compose himself.
"I am sorry that Miss Bennet could not join you. I would have been glad to see her," he confessed. "I remember that she enjoys long walks and nature."
"Yes, she does," Mrs. Gardiner said, surprised that he knew this about Elizabeth. "But I am afraid that Miss Scott, the daughter of a friend of mine, offered to show her Lambton."
Fitzwilliam was not fooled by this excuse. He knew Elizabeth was avoiding him, but he wanted her to know that he wished to see her and that she would always be welcome at Pemberley.
"Please, extend my invitation to her to visit Pemberley," he said and then realised that she might feel pressured to come. "I understand if you have other plans," he said, giving her the opportunity to reject his proposal if she wished, "but if you do not, I would like to introduce my sister to Miss Bennet's acquaintance." The couple's look of surprise made him realise he might have said too much and he hastened to add: "My sister does not have many friends her age and I am sure she would enjoy Miss Bennet's company. And Mr. Gardiner, I would be delighted if you came to fish with me in my trout stream while Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet visit with my sister. Or there are carp, tench, and pike in the lake here if your bent runs to coarse fishing. I could provide you with rods and tackle."
He knew he was rambling, trying to tempt them to come and bring Elizabeth with them, and he prayed that his anxiety was not so evident to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.
"Well, I would be delighted, Mr. Darcy," Mr. Gardiner replied. "But we have many visits planned and I would have to see if we have enough time."
"Yes, I have so many friends here whom I promised to visit," Mrs. Gardiner added.
They did not wish to offend the man who had treated them with so much kindness, but Elizabeth's insistent refusal to come had to be taken into account and they could not promise to come until they had spoken to her.
"Of course," Fitzwilliam said, as calmly and politely as he could. He knew this would be the answer, but he still could not help but be disappointed. "I can have my sister send you an invitation and you can reply according to your schedule. I shall understand completely if you cannot make it, but allow me to tell you that I would enjoy your company very much and so would my sister."
"Thank you, sir," Mrs. Gardiner said. "You are too kind. We hope we shall be able to reply in the affirmative."
Upon expressing their desire to return to the inn, Fitzwilliam walked them to their carriage. His efforts to be amiable had now increased and he was even pained by the separation of the only link he had to Elizabeth. He could not seek her out in Lambton after her refusal, could he? He had done as much as he could to express his willingness to see her, and he had let her make that decision. He had to show her he respected her and whatever boundaries she chose to set. He prayed that she would agree to come to Pemberley. He knew he was not worthy of her and she would never marry him, but he could not bear to think that she was alive in the world and thinking ill of him.
I do not own any Pride and Prejudice properties, nor do I make any money from the writing of this story.
Characters and situations, created by Jane Austen, are taken from Pride and Prejudice and from the Pride and Prejudice (1995) adaptation created by Simon Langton and distributed by BBC.
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