Insane

This is a Yu-Gi-Oh FanFiction. It will be a drama, hurt, angst and there will be YAOI and SMUT! So please if you don't like it, do not read it!

The story takes place after the end of Season 5.

Author's note:

New chapter yay!

I am really sorry for updating so rarely, I am thinking of this story the whole time, but I need some time, till I sit and write the things that formed in my mind :) Life comes up in between :D I also had a vacation during the time I didn't update.

Nevertheless, there is a lot I want to write about in this story…

The whole Pharaoh story is giving me some difficult time, not in terms of writing, but in terms of, if I should continue it here.

Anyways I know how the Bakura x Marik story will end :) but till then a lot will happen!

Guys, you can check out my web site, I am uploading Yu-Gi-Oh images there, they are for free ;) so feel free to enjoy :)

Arev

…

Seto Kaiba

These brainless morons haven't found out anything so far. Fucking useless idiots! Why, why was there no explanation?! Seto slammed his fists on the desk, gritting his teeth. There had to be some kind of a reason, just something, of why the arrogant bastard was back. A week has already passed and nothing.

Atem was recovering very quickly though. Already on the third day after he woke up, he wanted to get out of his bed and walk around. Of course, he couldn't. He was just to week for that, but he tried it anyways. On the fight day, he actually stood up, being very unsteady on his feet, and took few steps. His friends, who were there the whole time, cheered him up.

That was one more reason of why Seto was not there too frequently. He hated that annoying cheerleader crowd and they had arrived one day after Atem was hospitalized. Joey, the mut, Tea that brainless beauty, always blabbering about friendship, as if that was the most important thing in life; Tristan, he was actually the only one he could bare up with; Duke, the self-absorbed Casanova and finally, Yugi… Yugi, who resembled Atem so much now. But there was always something off with him and Kaiba knew it. Yugi could never be Atem, no matter how much he resembled him.

Since the cheerleader crowd was around the Pharaoh the whole time, he couldn't really talk to him. So, he decided he would visit the arrogant bastard late in the evening, being sure the idiots were gone to their hotels, motels, or whatever. It was already 11p.m. as he knocked on the door, being very sure, the Egyptian wouldn't be asleep at this time. A steady "yes" came from inside the room, so he pushed the handle and entered it.

Atem was still dressed in the hospital's gown, he was standing with his back turned to him, looking outside of the window. "Egypt has changed so much …" he said in a quiet voice, without looking at him, as if he could feel, who was standing behind him. "It's been 5000 years, what did you expect!".

Atem nodded and turned to face him. It was dark in the room and the only light was coming from the street lights outside. Seto pressed his lips together as he noticed, how well he could see the contours of the Egyptian's body illuminated through his gown. "Why are you here, Kaiba?" that demanding voice pulled him back to reality, his eyes narrowed "I still have no explanation to why you are here." he stated coldly. Atem shook his head "I don't understand you, Kaiba.". Seto crossed his arms in front of his chest "you don't need to understand me, I just want my answers. Have you remembered something, that can help with the investigations?".

Atem turned back to face the street lights from the window once more "I am sorry, but I can't help you. I don't remember anything … again". His voice was very quiet, as if it was about to crack, it seemed, as if he was hurt …? "Tch, you are no help to me." Seto turned on his heel and was about to leave the room, as he heard Atem's angry voice behind him "I am sorry, I can't help you, Kaiba! Do you understand, that I can't remember my past again?!". Now this is how he remembered that arrogant bastard, so his body straitened up as he faced his one and only worthy opponent "the past has no meaning! Only now matters, Atem!". The Pharaoh's eyes narrowed in anger, his fists curled up "this is simply not true Kaiba! Tell me then, why do you constantly try everything in your might to erase all your father did in the past?!"

Atem

This seemed to have stroke a nerve in the taller man, since he jerked back in shock, only to flash his teeth in hatred "this has nothing to do with my father!". Atem sneered "don't be radicicols, the past makes us who we are and you can't deny, that you are as you are, because of your father." Now the Japanese reached him quickly, grabbing him by his gown and pulled him up close, so close that their noses almost touched "don't you dare tell me, that I was mold by somebody!" the words were spat in his face. "Let me go… Kaiba …ugh.." he had hard time breathing, since Kaiba was squeezing the fabric around his neck quite tightly. He put one hand around Seto's wrist and the other reached for the strong chest. Once he touched it, a jolt drove through his body, his fingers curled on the fine fabric of the cotton shirt and he gasped. His cheeks blushed, his eyes flattered, as his head got dizzy, what was that? Suddenly he was released and he slammed painfully on the flour, trying to catch his breath. He looked up irritated and saw the same irritation on the Brunette's face – did he feel it too? The Japanese was breathing as heavily, as he was, his eyes were widened in shock "what … did you do?" he demanded with a thundering voice, his hand clutching his chest. "I …, I don't know …" Atem slowly stood up, his body normalizing, he blinked several times "Kaiba, it seems like we have a connection, once more.".

The taller man sneered and straitened up "nonsense! What connection? Get real Atem …" but he interrupted the Brunette "I am real, Kaiba! Except that! Everything happening now, between us, is also real, so start to believe in what you see, before you go completely blind for this world.". The Japanese snarled "you are delusional! Call me, when you get a clear head." He turned and wanted to leave, but Atem grabbed him by his arm. This time Kaiba didn't jerked back, but froze in his tracks, without turning to face him.

"Kaiba, I believe there was something … something in the past between us, something of a great meaning. I believe, that …" he got interrupted by a cold voice "I told you, Atem. It doesn't matter what happened in the past!". Atem's anger rose once more and he yanked the Japanese around to face him "why do you keep on denying your past, Kaiba?! Why can't you accept, that we lived in one time together, that …" now Seto flashed his teeth "aren't you the one living a double standard?". Atem furrowed his eyebrows and looked in these cold-blue eyes searching for an answer "what …?". Kaiba straitened up once more, towering over him "you keep on talking that I can't accept my past and you are the one, who still lives in it. You are the one, who couldn't accept to live in the present, who always had looked back …". His breathing quickened, did the taller man had thought about all of this, did he get the wrong image of him. Kaiba's eyes narrowed to slits, "you are the one, who always closed his eyes before everything that stood in front of you, you are the one who hurried up to return to his past and leave everything and everyone behind.".

Atem gasped, there was so much pain in his last words, it took his breath away. The Japanese had never shown such emotions and now, here, in the present, in this room, away from all the curious gazes, from all the publicity, they used to live in, he actually let loose. "Kaiba, … " he wasn't sure, of what to say, exactly. He was right, he had felt guilty of living in the present, as he did, he had a mission and he wanted to complete it no matter what. He had wanted to know his past, to remember it and once he did, he wanted nothing more but to return to it, … "I,… I did what I had to, I have chosen to come here and prevent the evil from devouring the world and once I did so, there was no coming back, I had to return to my …" now Kaiba leaned towards him "yes! You always did everything out of obligation, out of guilt, but never did you think of yourself! You had always thrown yourself blindly in what you thought was the right thing to do!". Atem's chest rose quickly, as it was hard to breathe right now, he looked up to the taller man, who was observing him carefully, his blizzard eyes searching his.

"And what have you wanted me to do instead, hm?! Should I have just forgotten my obligation, should I have just left everything in Egypt behind, all my past, all my memories, should I have just left my people down… should I have just …" now his voice actually cracked, pain tightened his chest, he swallowed drily before he continuing "should I have just … let my feelings guide me and… stay here with all I have learned to like, all the people I closed in my heart, all the new memories I collected …". Atem closed his eyes, trying to supress his feelings, his voice low, a whisper "you don't know, what I have given up … you don't understand …".

Silence. He hated all this. He had never thought it would be so hard to live in two worlds, once he had decided to take that mission upon himself. But Atem thought he would never come back here, after the last duel with Yugi, he thought the present was a sealed realm for him… and so he had entered the doors of the afterlife. And now, he was here again. He couldn't remember once more what his afterlife was like, and his feelings surfaced … uncontrolled. The man standing before him made him question everything he had sworn to forget. Atem had always felt different towards Kaiba, there was something more than just a connection, more than a bond, and he was sure it had nothing to do with them being relatives in the past.

He opened his eyes and looked at Seto again. He was standing before him, his handsome, stern face merely illuminated from the street lights, his eyes glowing like gem stones, piercing him "tell me Kaiba, what do you want from me? Why do you keep coming back to me?". The Japanese's eyes widened in disbelief for a mere second, before going back being cold and impassive, his lips parted, "I told you, I want to know, of why you are here". Atem sighed, he didn't know, what he had hoped for to hear, but this was not it "I don't believe it.". The Japanese frowned "I don't care of what you believe or not.". The Egyptian's eyes hardened "stop lying to yourself, you are here, because you feel our connection, because you cannot rest, before you find out, what exactly this is, between us.". Kaiba gasped, he blinked several times, while processing what was said, but before he could protest, Atem continued "don't you try to deny this as well! You accuse me of being blind for the now, for closing my eyes, not seeing what is in front of me, but tell me Kaiba, haven't you been blind all this time?! Haven't you been the one, who stubbornly rejected every friendly help, every human contact, every feeling that bubbled inside you?".

He had been looking at the taller man all the time, his expression got colder, darker, angrier and just after he finished his brutal questions, Kaiba reacted to them by smashing his fist on his left cheek. It happened so quickly, he didn't have the time to dodge it. So Atem's head swung painfully to the side, as he lost balance and landed on the flour. His eyes teared, he felt blood in his mouth, his lip was probably open and he was dizzy. He needed several seconds to gather his thoughts, his cheek hurt now and as he got to his senses, he heard how heavily Kaiba was breathing, so he looked up.

The Japanese's fist was curled up, so that his knuckles got white, he was clenching his jaw, his eyes murderously staring at him. "What do you know about me, Atem?!" his voice was dangerously low, shaking with anger "for the short time you have been here, you had never looked around you. You always had hidden between your friends, … " Kaiba stopped for a second pressing his lips, before he continued "and one day, after you finished your oh so dear and important mission, you just left!".

The Japanese turned around and walked towards the door, but before he exited, he averted to face him again "so, don't tell me, that you know anything about me, Atem. Because you are the one, who left!". Atem bit his hurt lip, there was it again, the pain in his voice, what exactly was going on inside this man?

Kaiba slammed the door behind him, leaving him in the room, still spread on the flour, his blood ran down his mouth corner, his heart aching. He didn't know, what had just happened, of why Kaiba was so angry, so hurt. He didn't understand him. Atem knew, he wanted to be friends with him, he always did, but the Japanese had rejected him irrevocably. He shook his head, just why was he here? Why did he had to face him again? Deep down he knew there was a reason, of why he was brought back to this time again, but he couldn't shake up the feeling that something horrible had happened in his past.

Atem stayed on the flour for a long time, sucking on his wounded lip. He reviewed his talk with Kaiba – he couldn't remember one time, they didn't argue. It seemed like, the CEO took everything as a challenge, giving his nature, this was not something to wonder about. But the Brunette had built a wall around himself, a self-defence, as if he specifically didn't want him to look inside, to find out, what was exactly going on with him. He shook his head, his eyes narrowing with sadness "Kaiba, just what do you desire?".