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—
By the middle of December, the first half of Hogwarts's academic year was finished.
Severus's work on his various assignments was coming along well…...
But the war was not.
At the end of the last day of class, Severus stood in Dumbledore's office, giving his weekly report.
"...So where is the locket now?" Dumbledore asked Severus.
"With the dark lord, sir." Severus nodded. "I am aware that he plans to place the locket in a sea cave with some sort of guardian….What or whom that guardian will be, I do not currently know."
Dumbledore shook his head. "This is grave news indeed….Tom is one of the first known wizards to create a horcrux since Herpo the Foul...Such an act is barely comprehensible….."
"...I'm afraid that's not all, sir." Severus continued.
Dumbledore looked at Severus and paused for a moment.
When Severus failed to speak, Dumbledore urged him, "...Well? Go on."
"There are at least two others…...possibly more." Severus stated very matter-of-factly.
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at Severus in shock. "Two other horcruxes? Possibly more?!"
"That is correct, sir." Severus replied.
Dumbledore looked away from Severus and gazed off into space.
"To create a horcrux is practically unheard of, but to create many…" Dumbledore's voice trailed off.
Severus remained silent.
"The locket is with Tom….alright…..Do you know any other information about the horcruxes? Anything at all?" Dumbledore asked Severus.
"About the others? No." Severus replied. "About the locket? Perhaps I shall in time."
Dumbledore smiled down at his spy. "Excellent work, Severus. Believe me….." Dumbledore said seriously as he leaned forward to speak, "As long as these objects exist…..any action, every action we take…..will all be in vain."
"Of course." Severus nodded very solemnly.
Severus had been thinking the same thing, but hearing Dumbledore himself affirm that opinion somehow made the matter at hand even more concerning.
—
Later that evening, while he sat in his chambers, Severus received a small, anonymous note which he immediately knew came from Lily as he recognized her handwriting.
Hello-
Is there any way you could come visit for Christmas? Would really like it, but I understand if not….
Severus put his quill to the paper and Lily's ink vanished, then he quickly penned his own reply.
I'd be delighted.
Severus quickly sent the cryptic note back with an owl and he thought for a moment while the candlelight flickered in front of him on the chilly, winter night.
Severus's black eyes wandered over to his invisibility cloak, which sat folded on a chair.
To spend the holiday with Lily and her family…..
What a gift that was!
Severus was the son of a mean, alcoholic father and a timid mother who was prone to long bouts of depression and melancholia.
Severus Snape had very few happy memories of his childhood.
A family holiday?
Well, Severus had certainly never experienced that before, but he was very much looking forward to doing so.
—
Over the next week, Severus spent much of his time pondering….
Lily.
How to help her?
No matter how Severus altered the formula for Lily's healing elixir, Severus always found that something was off….it just wasn't ready yet.
The muggle doctor's notes had been vague and Lily's true diagnosis was apparently not yet known, so Severus was having to experiment with the formula for his healing elixir.
With Christmas only days away, Severus knew he would have to find an alternate gift for Lily.
What was that going to be?
On the long nights when Severus laid alone in his bed, he often stared into space and contemplated his other debacle…...
Making love to Lily….
It was apparent from the kisses that they had shared, from the way their relationship had progressed, and by what Severus had witnessed and overheard while he was trapped in Lily's closet, that the day was coming soon.
Severus welcomed it, but it also terrified him.
Severus didn't know how to be loved, he didn't know how to love, not really, and he certainly didn't know how to make love…..
Everything that Severus knew about love, he had learned from Lily.
Lily was the only one who had ever shown Severus true kindness and acceptance, Lily was his first friend, his first kiss, his first…
Well, she would be his first…
Severus should have just gone to Lily and asked if they could find their way together but Severus felt that would make him look weak.
Severus reflected on everything that he had done, everything he had risked and everything he had given up so that Lily would see him as a worthy, potential mate…
There was no way that Severus Snape would emasculate himself by showing his precious Lily that he had no idea what to do when it came to sex.
Severus frowned as he wondered…..
What were the right things to do?
What were the wrong things to do?
Could he potentially hurt Lily in any way?
Did her condition make it dangerous?
Severus always felt his anxiety on the subject rise when he spent time researching the formula for Lily's elixir.
Staring down at the book page that detailed the ins and outs of female anatomy, Severus felt like he was looking into a void.
…..Where did he even start?
Unlike most young men his age, Severus had never viewed any form of pornography and he had always excused himself from any conversations that his friends had about sex.
Those conversations made Severus uncomfortable and any form of pornography, written, filmed, printed…...Severus found distasteful and demeaning.
Severus really had no curiosity about the subject whatsoever and he had no real desire outside of Lily.
Although, if there were a magazine printed about Lily, just for him, that she willingly presented Severus with, well…
Then Severus would be more than happy to take a look~.
Severus resigned himself to a grim fact…..
The best way to learn anything was by taking lessons and to take lessons in sex, Severus Snape needed to find a tutor.
—
Desperate for advice about presents for women and matters of sex, Severus turned to the person he felt was most qualified to offer help.
Lucius Malfoy.
Lucius declined to share any of his most intimate knowledge with Severus but he did direct him to a more suitable teacher on the subject.
As for a proper gift, Severus had lied to Lucius and stated he was looking for something to give to his mother. Lucius promptly recommended that Severus go to Juliet's and Tilly's, a new, premier jewelry shop that had just opened up in Diagon Alley.
When Severus, disguised by a heavy coat and a tall hat, went into the shop, he nearly fainted at the price tags.
How much did Lucius Malfoy think an untenured Hogwarts professor was paid?
Still, Severus respected his friends' opinion and managed to find a small but beautiful, gold filigree bracelet that he could afford, which he bought for Lily.
The shop was bustling and after Severus paid and walked out, he noticed there were throngs of women happily chattering away with each other as they admired the shop's display windows.
Severus silently noted that other women certainly seemed fond of the shop's goods….
Severus was hopeful that Lily would enjoy her new bracelet.
Severus was scheduled to meet his sex instructor in Knockturn Alley an hour later and as he made his way there, he smirked to himself.
Surely Severus would walk away from his lesson with the knowledge he was seeking.
Surely he would…..
Lucius Malfoy was a man of good tastes, after all.
—-
Well…
….About jewelry, anyway.
"Sure you're ready for this, love?" A female voice asked.
Severus nodded as he sat stiffly in a chair above the bar in Knockturn Alley, clutching his trailing robe nervously.
The woman in front of him, who worked as the evening barmaid in the establishment below, began to unbutton her dress.
But as more and more of her skin was revealed, Severus felt an uncomfortable turning in his stomach.
This was wrong.
This was the wrong way…..
Sitting there, staring at the woman who was disrobing to give him a hands-on lesson, Severus was not aroused.
All Severus felt was disgust.
Severus was disgusted with himself, he was disgusted that this woman was not Lily… and it was nearly making him sick.
"Stop!" Severus cried, just before the woman revealed her breasts to him. "Please…...stop."
The barmaid frowned at Severus and watched him put a hand over his face and sigh.
"Alright, love. Calm down, it's alright." The woman said gently while she fastened the buttons on her dress.
"I…...I didn't mean to waste your time." Severus said quietly. "I was hoping to learn….but I'm afraid I just can't….not like this….."
"That's alright." The woman said kindly, smiling as she sat down a few feet away from Severus on the bed, facing him.
The dark-haired woman was still eager to help.
Anything for one of Voldemort's followers…...
"We don't have to do anything for me to teach you, we'll just trade places." The woman grinned, raising an eyebrow at Severus. "Look, you be the student now and I'll be the professor….What would you like to know?"
Severus took his hand away from his face and cleared his throat.
Even just to research, Severus couldn't look at, couldn't touch, couldn't feel for another woman besides Lily.
Severus knew that as terrible as it was going to be to sit and have a very frank discussion about sex with a practical stranger, it would surely be less terrible than being alone with Lily and embarrassing himself.
—
On the twenty-fourth of December, Severus threw on his invisibility cloak and went to meet Lily along a road close to Hogwarts.
To Severus's surprise, Lily was waiting for him beside of a muggle car.
Severus's gaze was quickly taken away from the car and fastened to Lily.
Severus admired the dress that Lily was wearing…
The dress looked decades old, or at least, the style of it did, made from dark green velvet, tailored through the body, with a white lace collar, and a full skirt…
Severus could see the outline of several fluffy layers of chiffon jutting out elegantly from Lily's hemline.
When Severus glanced at Lily's legs he couldn't help but notice…
Was she wearing stockings?
Severus was just wearing one of his simple, white, button-up shirts and black trousers.
While he looked at Lily, Severus began to feel underdressed.
"I'm here." Severus called out.
Lily's face lit up in a smile and she looked around blindly.
Lily remained silent, but she opened the car door for Severus since she couldn't see him.
Severus climbed in and closed the door while Lily walked around, sat in the driver's seat, and started the car.
"The car's charmed, my house is too, don't worry, we're safe." Lily smiled.
Upon hearing that, Severus removed his invisibility cloak and sat his small bag in the backseat of the car.
Lily glanced over at Severus and smiled.
Severus noticed that she glanced again…..
"Your dress is lovely." Severus said.
Severus immediately wanted to slap himself.
Your dress is lovely?!
That was the best he could do?!
"Thanks, Sev." Lily smiled. "You look very handsome."
Severus struggled not to puff out his chest at Lily's compliment.
A little while later, as they turned down the street where Lily's childhood home stood, Severus felt an overwhelming surge of anxiety.
Sure, Severus had been a frequent visitor to Lily's home when they were children, so he already knew Lily's family.
But….
This was so very different…..
What if Severus accidentally offended them?
What if—-
"Come on, Sev." Lily smiled as she parked the car.
Severus blinked while Lily giggled at the horrified expression on Severus's face.
"They're muggles, not monsters. It's cold, let's go inside." Lily chided.
Severus slowly got out of the car and collected his and Lily's bags and followed her up to the house.
Right…..
They were muggles, not monsters.
And Severus was just…
Oh dear.
—
As soon as Lily opened the door, the smells of cinnamon, pine, and cranberry hit Severus in the face as a warm rush enveloped him and Lily while heat bled out of the house and into the cold, December air.
"Lily-flower!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed, her eyes widening and a happy smile curving her lips as she rushed to meet her daughter at the door.
Severus stood back awkwardly while Lily's mother gave her a loving hug.
To Severus's shock, Mrs. Evans let go of Lily after a moment and turned to him, "And you've brought your gentleman friend, Lily! It's so good to see you, Severus! You're all grown up now."
Severus's black eyes widened as Lily's mother embraced him just as warmly, as if he were returning home after a long journey.
Severus froze at the contact.
A mother's hug was not something that Severus was accustomed to…..
Mrs. Evans pulled back and smiled at Severus along with Lily as she ushered them inside, "We're very happy you could be with us! Lily's told us so much about you!"
"Mother!" Lily exclaimed, furrowing her brow at her mother's enthusiasm.
"She….has?" Severus asked.
Things were moving so fast and so well it was almost dizzying to Severus.
"Come in, dears! Come in! Lily, Petunia's out back with Vernon, and Lily, your father's asleep by the television, so try not to wake him." Mrs. Evans called as she walked through the den to the kitchen.
Severus saw Lily roll her eyes at the mention of Petunia and Vernon.
"Of course." Lily called quietly, leading Severus by his hand as they followed Lily's mother into the kitchen.
—-
A short time later, the meal was served and Severus sat beside Lily for his first family Christmas Eve dinner.
The atmosphere was warm and friendly, light-hearted and cozy….
Severus wasn't used to such an environment, but Lily kept giving him reassuring smiles and he gradually felt more at ease.
The Evans family preferred to open their gifts on Christmas morning.
After dinner, everyone sat watching a couple muggle Christmas programs on television before heading to bed.
Lily's parents went to their room, Petunia went to hers, Vernon went to the guest bedroom in the basement…..and Severus found that he was very grateful to have been given the guest room right across from Lily's bedroom.
"Goodnight, Sev." Lily grinned, looking at Severus before she disappeared into her room.
"Goodnight." Severus nodded, opening the door and walking in to his room as well.
Severus sighed to himself as he sat down on the bed.
Looking around, Severus marveled at how clean and comfortable Lily's home was.
The Evans residence wasn't anything like the house that Severus had grown up in and Severus appreciated that.
Severus readied himself to go to bed and get some sleep, but across the hallway, in her own room, Lily was very busy…
Lily opened her overnight bag and pulled out a new nightgown she had recently purchased.
The gown was long, with just a bit of lace around the neckline, which complimented the vivid, green satin.
Lily wanted something a little fancier than her usual, cotton nightdress for the evening…
Sitting down in front of her vanity mirror, Lily began to brush her hair and she checked her reflection to make certain that she looked presentable.
With an anxious sigh, Lily rose very quietly and opened her door.
Taking care to creep soundlessly across the hallway, Lily walked over to Severus's room, opened the door, and slipped inside without making a single noise.
Severus had just laid down in bed but his black eyes widened when Lily stepped into his room and closed the door behind herself.
"Hello…" Severus managed to croak, trying not to let his voice sound strangled as he contemplated the situation, his dark eyes roaming over Lily as she stood there in her beautiful new nightdress.
"Hey, Sev~." Lily replied with a smile.
Severus sat up as Lily walked towards him and suddenly, sleep was the last thing on his mind…..