*BPOV*
The harsh light of day filtered through my eyelids. I groaned and rolled away from the window abruptly crashing into the cool stone statue sharing my bed.
"Good morning, love." I heard him before I saw him; my eyes hadn't yet conceded the return of day.
I snuggled into Edward's open arms and tucked my head under his chin. He hummed contentedly at my sudden closeness and softly stroked my hair from the crown of my head to the nape of my neck in long, languorous strokes.
"It is now," I agreed, my voice still thick with sleep.
"How do you feel?" He held me away from him slightly so he could see my face.
"Fine," I said automatically. Then, remembering the events of the previous night, I felt myself blush and my heartbeat stutter. "Better than fine, actually," I admitted. A cool hand brushed my cheek.
"I am really going to miss that. And watching you sleep. How else will I ever get glimpses into your mind?" Edward sighed in lament.
"I guess it's a good thing I don't keep a journal. I'd have to keep it under lock and key," I ribbed.
Edward snorted, "As if your feeble human devices could keep me out," he smirked. "But in all seriousness, you might want to start journaling. Human memories fade," he added in a gentle tone.
"Then again, I'll always have you to remind me of the most important stuff. You were there for all of those memories. Like how Noah would read to Allie to remind her of their life together,"
Edward's expression turned amused. "I didn't figure you for a Nicholas Sparks fan."
"I'm not. His books are complete drivel," I said with a grin. "I am, however, a Ryan Gosling fan."
"I wish I could take you on a canoe ride in a lagoon full of swans, but I don't think the birds would cooperate," Edward's mouth twisted in regret.
"Shark repellant in the ocean is far more practical than swan lake boat rides," I replied evenly.
Edward was always so hard on himself about the things he couldn't give me. I figured out the only way to combat his self-loathing instincts was to remind him of the wondrous things that only he could give me. And then change the subject.
"Speaking of romantic gestures-are you going to tell me what we're doing tonight? I have no idea what to wear," I asked. Edward's eyes brightened, and I smiled to myself.
"I think Alice was hoping you'd let her help you get ready at our house. And as for what we're doing, that depends on your answer to a question I should have asked you sooner," Edward tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
"What's the question," I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously.
"What food will you miss the most when you won't want it anymore? I made six different reservations because I wasn't sure what you'd want to eat," Edward admitted sheepishly with a laugh.
"Oooh, let me think," I chewed on my lip, biting off the easy joke about being on death row and choosing my last meal. That would not help his anxiety at all.
"There are so many different foods I'd like to try, but I always come back to Italian. It just doesn't get much better than pasta stuffed with cheese and covered in delicious sauce," my mouth watered just talking about it.
"I'll take you to a new restaurant every single night if you'd like to try new foods, Bella," Edward offered with pleading eyes. He could never resist the chance to offer me new experiences.
"Right," I scoffed, "So I can get fat just in time to be eternally unchanging," I rolled my eyes. His eyes darkened, and I immediately backpedaled. "Besides, going out every night hardly goes along with your 'more human time,' request," I pointed out.
"Bella, the only one imposing a timeline on your humanity is you. Take all the time you need. If you aren't enthusiastic about going to college, we could travel the world and you could experience every different food and culture this world has to offer. I want those things for you. If you would just give me a few more years…" he sighed longingly, but I wouldn't let him continue that train of thought.
Remaining human only led to catastrophe. Remaining human meant staying weak and vulnerable, a liability, and also the biggest source of his mental anguish and mine. Once I was one of them, I'd be strong, fast, durable-and most importantly he'd never feel morally obligated to leave me ever again.
I wouldn't survive years of having that guillotine dangling over my head, no matter what tempting human extravagance he dangled in front of me. I shook my head vehemently, though I wasn't willing to make my most debilitating vulnerability so plain to him.
"I am not the only one imposing a timeline on my humanity, Edward," I reminded him pointedly.
Edward untangled himself from me and was now pacing the small space of my bedroom while pinching the bridge of his nose. I ached at the loss of him.
"How did we go from talking about ravioli to the Volturi? Somehow we always end up right back here." Edward tugged at his hair, a sure sign of his frustration.
I said nothing for a moment, waiting for him to calm down.
"Do you really want to talk about this more? Because I can talk about ravioli all day," I cracked half a smile, desperately trying to resuscitate his mood.
He was not in the mood to be deflected. "Just answer me this, Bella. If the Volturi wasn't a factor, would you still be in such a hurry? I can't...I won't subject you to this existence if it's because you feel threatened. That's not a good enough reason. It has to be because it's what you want. That is the only reason that matters to me."
I stood up and met him in the center of the room, halting his pacing. I put my hands on either side of his face and "forced" him to meet my gaze, knowing if he hadn't wanted to look at me, I never would have been strong enough to move him.
"Edward, of course it's what I want! I'm in a hurry because I can't wait for my life with you as your equal to begin!"
"Bella, you could never be my equal because you already surpass me in every way that matters and plenty of ways that don't," Edward contradicted me. I glared at him in response.
"I see what you mean. On one hand," my hand flung out to my left side, palm up, "vampires are immortal, never aging, have no human frailties, unmatched speed, strength, & cognition, superpowers, and supermodel good looks."
"On the other hand," I flung out the other palm, "there's humanity: weak, mortal, child-bearing, aging, farting, dying human beings. And ravioli. Shoot, when you put it like that…." I mimed weighing the two lifeforms in my hands, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Edward regarded me for a long moment, like a parent indulging a toddler's tantrum, before bursting into laughter.
"Oh Bella. Life with you will never be boring," he chuckled adoringly. "Now, would you like to know what we're doing after dinner?" He fluttered a small envelope that appeared in his hands.
He was obviously trying to steer me away from the subject, but I let my curiosity get the better of me.
I took the envelope from his proffered hand and pulled out the tickets. My eyes grew to the size of salad plates and my jaw fell open when I saw the words Phantom of the Opera printed on the tickets. And then I saw a staggering amount of money in the box denoting the ticket price.
"You did NOT spend this much money on these. Please tell me you won them from a radio station or something" I implored him.
"Fine. I won them from a radio station. Or something," he repeated flatly and shrugged.
I gritted my teeth at his obvious attempt to placate me, but said nothing. It was hard for me to receive gifts, especially from him, and he knew that. But I didn't want to spoil his excitement, I thought, remembering the way his face fell when I didn't immediately want to accept my engagement ring.
If I was going to be a Cullen, I needed to get used to extravagant gifts, so I let the feelings of discomfort wash over me. I couldn't help but be reminded of the times in our early days when Edward would breathe me in to desensitize himself to the allure of my scent, and the pain that must have caused him.
My hand unconsciously drifted up to my throat, as if I was the one burning. The juxtaposition of him being in real pain to be with me, and my grudging acceptance of expensive gifts to be with him seemed pretty asinine by comparison. Was there any end to my selfishness?
"Please tell me what you're thinking?" Edward asked anxiously, gently pulling the hand from my throat with one hand, and tipping my chin up to look at him with the other.
"I was just thinking of my mom," I said wistfully, absently tapping the edge of the envelope against the palm of my hand. He didn't look satisfied with my vague answer, so I explained further.
"I've heard the Phantom of the Opera music before, when we used to go on roadtrips and badly sing along to the soundtrack," I laughed, recalling the cacophony. "But I've never been to the theater before-it wasn't my mom's cup of tea. I can't wait to see if what I imagined bears any resemblance to the real thing." That much, at least, was true.
Edward smiled widely in response.
"I can't wait to watch you watching it! I wish I could explain to you the intense joy I get out of watching you experience things. It almost feels paternal, like the excitement of a parent taking their child to Disneyland. But then again..." His feather-light fingers traced a cool path down the back of my arm, and his jubilant voice dropped to a husky growl in my ear.
"Nothing about the way I feel about you could ever be described as paternal." The fervor in his voice made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
"Well that's a relief," I said in an unnaturally high-pitched voice, thoroughly dazzled. He chuckled into my hair.
Hours later, I found myself sitting in a salon chair in front of a wall-sized mirror in Alice and Jasper's room. She'd spent the last hour teasing, curling, and spraying my hair into submission. It was styled half up, half down, with curls pinned artfully to the crown of my head, while the rest cascaded down my back in long, loose waves.
With a flurry of makeup brushes, she transformed my plain jane face into that of a movie star's. My eyes were smoky, and my lips were a glossy shade of nude.
"You never want your eyes and lips to be too dramatic at the same time...unless you want to look like a circus clown," Alice imparted with a smirk, applying the last stroke of jet black mascara to my lashes with a final flourish.
In her excitement, she spun my chair around to face the mirror just a bit too fast. My stomach lurched at the sudden movement.
"Oops. Sorry, Bella!" Alice's expression was apologetic. "So what do you think?"
I looked over my reflection and mouthed the word "wow." I almost could have passed for a Cullen.
"You're an artist, Alice. Do you think Edward will like it?"
"Oh, I don't think. I know," Alice tapped her temple with a perfectly manicured finger. "When he sees you in that dress, he's going to consider joining a monastery," she laughed wickedly.
It was a high-low style cocktail dress with a scarlet satin skirt that flared out from the hip. It skimmed mid-thigh in the front and reached the backs of my knees in the rear. The bodice had an intricate layer of lace that hugged my modest curves, and the off-the-shoulder neckline accentuated the defined outline of my collarbone. The finishing touch was a satin sash tied in a bow just above my left hip. The frock was perfectly paired with an expensive-looking pair of nude pumps with red soles that made them look extra provocative.
"Those Louboutins make your legs look about 5,000 miles long," Alice nodded approvingly.
I gave her a blank stare. "I don't speak Kardashian."
Alice rolled her eyes in response, "The shoes, you brat. They are limited edition, so try not to break a heel stepping in a sewer grate like I see you doing. But I put some super glue in your clutch just in case. Do NOT mix it up with your lipstick!" She warned severely and pushed a small matte gold clutch into my hand.
A giggle escaped my mouth as I imagined making out with Edward after mistakenly applying super glue to my lips. That would be one way to keep him from always pulling away from me when things got heated.
"Edward's waiting for you downstairs. I know you'll have an amazing time," her eyes twinkled knowingly.
"Thank you, Alice! You're the best sister I never knew I wanted!" I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. She patted my back gently, and then shooed me toward the door.
"Have fun you crazy kids!" she called behind me in a barely raised voice that I knew Edward would be able to hear.
***EPOV***
To kill time while Alice got Bella ready for our date I'd been playing the latest version of Call of Duty with Emmett in the game room. It didn't get much use, yet another prop in the human facade. Though the billiards table and video games were useful practice in calibrating our strength while engaging in common human pastimes.
"Where is the shooting coming from? Goddamn it!" Emmett bellowed in frustration and frantically mashed the buttons of the controller that looked miniature grasped in his gargantuan hands.
"Ease up, Em, or you'll-" but I spoke up too late. With another expletive, Emmett chucked the badly misshapen controller into a bin of other mangled controllers. As part of our practiced routine of destroying evidence, they would need to be destroyed more fully before they went out into the trash. It was sort of like the vampire version of crushing cans, I tittered at my bad joke.
"Here's a new "Shark Tank" idea for you- tungsten-plated Xbox controllers!" Emmett proposed.
"For the vampire gamer in your life," I said with put-on enthusiasm, impersonating an infomercial host.
"Maybe Rose could weld you some kind of controller armor, because this is getting out of hand," I muttered, and tossed him a new one from the crate of Xbox controllers we had procured from a very perplexed Best Buy associate. After all, even vampires could appreciate a good Black Friday sale.
Interesting, I thought to myself. Before Bella came into my world, my lips rarely if ever uttered the word "vampire." And here I had just in the last few minutes spoken it aloud (almost jovially!), and thought of it two other times in the same lighthearted manner. It was another fundamental change in me that my beautiful Bella had brought about. Perhaps I was starting to hate myself less because she loved and accepted me as completely as she did.
She's ready, thought Alice from upstairs, who was being careful not to think of Bella.
"That's my cue, Em." I bid him farewell and took my place at the foot of the stairs.
I never appreciated my sister's flare for fashion more than I did the moment Bella appeared at the top of the stairs in the crimson cocktail dress that made her shapely legs appear almost disproportionately long.
My eyes shot open and my mouth hung agape. I was rendered completely speechless as I drank in the sight of her, my goddess.
I could hear Alice snickering from a few paces behind Bella, where she came to revel in my reaction. Making me come undone was nearly as enjoyable to Alice as was making over Bella in haute couture.
My astonished silence was starting to get awkward, so I rushed to compliment her.
"Bella, you are a vision. There are no words for your loveliness, tonight." It was an understatement. She took a wobbly step down the staircase in her towering high heels, and I flew to her side.
"Allow me," I murmured and carried her down the stairs so she wouldn't have to risk breaking an ankle on the stilts Alice insisted she wear.
Alice didn't need to be a mind reader to know the direction of my thoughts.
"She won't have to walk far," Alice shrugged unapologetically.
"Bye, Alice! Thanks again!" Bella called out to her with a small wave.
I set her down and escorted her to my waiting Vanquish that was running in the driveway.
"Woah, what is that?" Bella gawked at the sight of my Aston Martin.
"It's my special occasion car," I winked at her and held the door open for her to step inside. Bella turned to face me and curled her fingers around the lapel of my slate gray suit jacket.
"I didn't think it was possible, but you are even more perfect in a suit. And in front of this car, you look like a younger, hotter James Bond."
From inside the house, but probably too quiet for Bella to hear, Emmett guffawed, "he doesn't need an even bigger ego, Bella!"
Holding both of my lapels now, she pulled me down for a kiss. I took her face gently in my hands and kissed her properly. The warmth of her mouth, the softness of her lips and the heat of her breath made the flames rage ever hotter down my throat. I welcomed this pain, and would welcome it ten times over for the overwhelming pleasure of kissing Bella.
Reluctantly, I pulled away from her with a regretful groan, and gestured to the open car door.
"Your carriage awaits.".
She carefully lowered herself down onto the leather seat while smoothing her skirt down behind her so it laid flat on the seat.
I carefully shut the door behind her, and flew around to the driver's side.
It was a pleasant drive to Seattle. Bella chatted animatedly about the dinner she was planning for Sue Clearwater. Her wolf pups, Seth and Leah, not fully accepting of their mother's budding relationship with Charlie so soon after Harry's passing, had thankfully sent their regrets.
She also expressed her nervousness over meeting the Denali clan at the upcoming wedding. Despite myself, I found her thinly veiled jealousy over Tanya's presence at our nuptials quite endearing.
"Bella, are you worried she's going to attempt to seduce me at my own wedding?" I chuckled. The idea of any other woman even daring to hold a candle to my Bella was laughable.
Bella huffed, irritated. "No!" She blushed a furious red. "But isn't it considered a faux pas to outshine the bride? Who's even going to be looking at me with half a dozen goddesses in attendance?"
Her angry kitten face turned pensive. "You know what? Never mind. In fact, invite all the female vampires you know. That will take the pressure off me," Bella said with a satisfied smile.
"The blood pressure, maybe," I snarked. I shook my head free of the grim imaginings of Bella in a blood stained wedding gown. I was just full of jokes today. I rolled my eyes at myself.
Before long, I pulled the car up to the valet stand , and waited for the attendant to take my key.
'Kids these days!' thought the attendant, an older gentleman dressed in a cheap tuxedo. He gaped first at the car, and then at the youth of its occupants. His hopes were dashed that he'd get a good tip. His thoughts then drifted toward the exploits he had in the 1974 AMC Gremlin of his youth.
I took the ticket he handed me and discreetly pressed a $50 dollar bill into his palm. Bella started to let herself out of the car, but before she could, I turned toward her and placed a hand on her thigh, halting her movements.
"Let me get the door for you," I insisted, inwardly cursing the presence of the valet that forced me to move at human speed. She smiled and nodded, and waited for me to dash, in human speed, around to her door.
I held my hand out to her which she accepted. Then one long pale leg stepped outside the car, then the other, and she stepped out into the cool Seattle night looking like an Old Hollywood movie star.
In true Bella fashion, she rolled her ankle, and stumbled into my waiting arms destroying any illusion of gracefulness.
"Are you alright?" I knelt down at her feet and cupped my hands around her smarting ankle. She sighed in relief at the coolness of my touch.
"Yes," Bella grumbled in annoyance. "You'd think at some point I'd stop being so surprised by my own clumsiness, but I never see it coming!" I had to stop myself from laughing at the embarrassed look of chagrin on her face. Not liking the attention we were getting from passersby, she wiggled her ankle free from my hands. I stood up so that I could meet her eyes.
"If you weren't so clumsy, you would be so intimidatingly perfect that no mortal man would ever be brave enough to look upon your beauty. Your clumsiness wasn't for your benefit, it was for ours." I gazed down at her as I trailed the back of my finger along the soft curve of her cheekbone. Her heart stuttered in response.
"Then what's Rosalie's flaw?" Bella moaned.
"Her personality," I said without missing a beat, and we both dissolved into laughter. I put my hand on the small of her back and guided her toward the restaurant.
"Altura is supposed to be the finest Italian dining in the state," I said as she took in the romantic ambiance and modern upscale decor. I gave the hostess my name, and she nodded in recognition and guided us to a staircase at the back of the dining room that led up to a small candle lit loft that I had reserved for us alone.
I laughed as Bella paused at the foot of the steps to kick off her heels before climbing the narrow wrought iron spiral staircase. I followed close behind her, keeping my hand on her back to prevent any catastrophes.
Once shown to our table, I pulled out her chair for her, and scooted it in behind her as she sat.
'His mother taught him well,' thought the 30-something hostess named Janet who was impressed by my impeccable manners.
Bella's face, rosy and warmed by flickering candlelight was like gazing at the model of a Da Vinci painting. I was spellbound by her.
Bella smiled shyly and blushed an even deeper hue of scarlet under the intensity of my gaze and lowered her eyes to the elaborately set table.
In an action I rarely took thanks to a photographic memory, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and snapped a photo of her. The sight of her was one that I wanted to have immortalized on canvas adorning my wall.
"This must be painfully boring for you, just sitting there watching me eat," Bella said in between bites of bread. "God, that's good," she moaned, spreading butter on another slice.
"Why would you think that? Would it be boring for you to watch me hunt?" I watched her tongue slide across her lower lip, licking off a small smear of butter. I pushed the bread basket toward her encouragingly.
Her eyes widened at my question. "I can't imagine anything less boring," she admitted. "But this," she gestured broadly to us sitting at the table, "is not that."
"I beg to differ! Stalking lions is just..every other Friday to me. Right now, however, I'm completely fascinated and bewildered as to why you ordered lemon water and not coke. I don't think you've ever not ordered coke. Explain yourself," I used my most persuasive tone, the one used for dazzling humans, as Bella so often accused.
She looked a little...embarrassed? What could possibly be embarrassing about her drink selection?
"Bella?" I entreated her with my eyes.
"It's just this place," she gestured to the restaurant and I was suddenly worried that it wasn't to her liking.
"I wish I was older, because then I'd order a glass of wine. This is just such a classy, grown-up place, definitely not a place you'd find in Forks...and drinking coke makes me feel like a kid. A Shirley Temple was out of the question," she laughed wryly. "Lemon water just seemed like something a grown woman on a hot date would order. I know, it's dumb," she shrugged self-consciously. I reached across the table and laid my hand across hers.
"You already try so hard to blend into your surroundings so that you don't attract attention. It's going to make your transition a lot easier. But Bella, a person would have to be blind not to notice you! And if you don't believe me, there isn't a red-blooded male down there," I nodded toward the dining room below, "whose head didn't turn when you walked in that door."
It was a very distracting trip up the stairs as I was mentally assaulted by upskirt images of Bella's bare legs climbing the stairs from every angle. I suppressed a growl at the heathens, not that I could blame them.
I could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't believe me. I knew better than to try to convince her. I was already beating off her would-be suitors with a stick. It was a good thing that we wouldn't be dining in many restaurants once she was turned, because I didn't think I could stand many more outings where I was forced to see and hear dozens of lusty fantasies featuring my soon-to-be wife. I tried to tune out the intrusive thoughts.
"Besides hunting, what's the first thing you think you'll want to do after you've been changed," I asked, deeply curious.
She said nothing, but her eyes smoldered and she raised an eyebrow in my direction as if I were missing something painfully obvious.
My eyes widened in surprise at her boldness. "You little minx!" I smiled widely at her innuendo. "Alright, second thing then?"
"I don't know," she shook her head, "Run. Jump. Break something?" she laughed.
"Besides yourself, you mean?" I teased. She glared at me, and I laughed harder.
Her food arrived then, a steaming hot plate of lobster agnolotti with a truffle cream sauce. She cut one in half with the side of her fork, dragged it around in the sauce, and then popped it into her mouth. Her eyes closed, and she chewed slowly. After a long moment, she opened her eyes.
"That is far and away the best thing I've ever eaten!" Her eyes were bright with excitement.
"I wish you could try a bite," she added regretfully.
Pain rippled through me. "I wish that, too, love. You have no idea how much I wish I could be human for you, Bella. No matter the cost, I would pay it" I said in a low, agonized voice.
"That's not at all what I meant. I don't wish you could eat this," she said matching my lowered voice. "Just that...you could somehow appreciate it. And for what it's worth," Bella paused to stab another bite of pasta. "Even If I could bite youand make you human, I'm not sure that's the future I'd choose." She put the fork to her lips and chewed thoughtfully.
I was entirely and utterly gobsmacked by her admission. Even if I could be human for her, she'd still want to be a vampire? The words did not compute. Why? She sat there sipping her water and eating her meal as casually as if we were discussing our weekend plans. If she didn't explain herself, I thought I'd go stark raving mad.
"How could you say that?" I demanded in a loud whisper, horrified.
"You don't see yourself very clearly, do you?" Her eyes narrowed intently. "What makes you think that one lifetime with you is enough for me? Humanity has its perks, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather have eternity with you than spending the next 50 or 60 years, if we're lucky enough to get that long, wondering which one of us is going to die first," she said severely. I flinched at the word.
Shaking her head resolutely, "No, I'd rather have the certainty of forever with you rather than one fleeting lifetime that ends in inevitable heartbreak. I'm certain of that."
I slumped back against my chair. It was inconceivable. The unencumbered joy and pain I felt simultaneously at her declaration was almost more than I could bear.
None of us got to choose this life, but she would, even if she had another choice. For me.
"I'm not worth it, Bella," my voice was pleading, begging her to believe me.
Bella's mouth turned down into a frown.
"Shut your mouth. That's my fiance you're talking about!" Her eyes turned fierce. "Besides, if the roles were reversed, and you were human and I wasn't, would you want to leave me, or be left against your wishes, so that you could go have babies with somebody else?"
"I think you're oversimplifying things a bit," I said in a clipped tone. "I left, first and foremost, so that you would be safe. Children were secondary. You wouldn't be having children either way if you got yourself killed hanging out with my kind," I said acidly.
"You didn't answer my question," Bella pressed, stubborn as ever.
I sighed, defeated "If I were the human, I'd do whatever it took to be with you, too."
Bella exasperatedly threw her hands up in the air as if to say "Thank you! Finally!"
"I choose you, Edward. I choose your life and your family. It's the only way for me. Besides, I kinda suck at being human."
A/N Thank you so much for your patience while I fought with this chapter. I really wanted to get to the theater in this one, but it was just getting sooo long. Hopefully the double chapter was worth the wait. I'd love to know what you think! Will get the new update out ASAP.