Even though Dean couldn't deny the fact that it would do him some good to busy his mind with something other than worrying about Caleb, and when he would see him again, it was still slightly disconcerting to be going on a hunt with someone that wasn't him. For as long as he could remember, he and Caleb had an established routine when they went out on jobs together. It hardly ever varied except for when Dean was ready to advance to the next, precarious stage of training, and take on harder responsibility's.
It would be different working with Bobby, even though he trusted him and his judgment implicitly, it would still be a challenge to adjust to his different style of tracking and hunting than what he was used to when working with Caleb. And he was also concerned about Sam. There was no one there to watch him while he and Bobby would be gone, and there was no way Dean would let this stranger watch him, or even entertain the idea of leaving him alone. If they were going to take on the case, they would have to let Sam tag along, even though the idea made Dean a nervous wreck.
"Hey," Bobby said, as he came into the kitchen where Dean had placed himself. "What are you doing?"
"Practice run," Dean replied, as he effortlessly assembled and dissembled their rock salt gun. "Figured I better get my Terminator on."
"Smart thinking, kid," Bobby said, as he sat down next to the thirteen-year-old. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah," Dean said with a shrug. "When is your friend going to be here?"
"Any minute now."
It had been awhile since Bobby had seen his oldest and dearest hunting friend. Even though a nasty incident years ago had severed some of that bond, they had always, somehow found their way back to each other.
"And what's the case?" Dean asked, as he finally put the guns down to focus on Bobby and what their job would be. It was important to remember those kinds of details.
"I'm not sure exactly sure. Some spirit."
"Like Casper? Or pee your pants kind?"
"Knowing Rufus," Bobby said with a chuckle, shaking his head. "That could mean just about anything."
"Oh?" Dean asked. "Is that good or bad?"
"Knowing him, bad."
That didn't ease any of Dean's uncertainty about possibly taking Sam on the job. If this was going to be an unpredictable case, he wasn't sure he wanted Sam in the line of fire, both literally and figuratively.
"So what about Sam? Are we going to take him?"
Before all this, Sam had accompanied his guardians on simple salt and burn cases, while he worked with Caleb on more physical combat moves to be able to safely go with them on more complex hunts. It was scary for Dean to allow Sam to go when Caleb wouldn't be there to back them up.
"I don't see where we really have a choice," Bobby replied. "It's not like either of us feel comfortable letting the kid stay here alone." Even though the safe house would, undoubtedly, prove to be the safest place for Sam to be, instead of going on a potentially dangerous hunt.
"He hasn't really had the training for something like this," Dean replied nervously, as he watched Bobby for his reaction. "I just don't know if-"
"He's ready?" Bobby said, trying to suss out the situation. "Or if you're ready?"
It had only been a few days since Caleb's arrest, and while most of the initial shock had worn off from Dean's traumatized brain, the devastation and longing was only just beginning to set in, as he chewed down on his thumb to distract himself from answering Bobby's loaded question.
When Dean realized that he was expecting an actual reply, he shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want Sam to get hurt." It would be different, he figured, if Sam knew what he knew, had the training that he had, but he didn't yet.
"I don't want that either, but it's time he gets his hands dirty a bit."
"I just want-" Dean trailed off abruptly, not willing to go any further, knowing that what he had been about to say had the potential of hurting Bobby, and he didn't want that.
"You just want Caleb to be there?" Bobby guessed gently.
Dean nodded, turning his head to the side to avoid Bobby's pressing gaze. "It's just..."
"You're more used to Caleb going with you."
"Yeah. He's been the one to work with Sam," Dean said, gritting his teeth against the pain that bringing Caleb up inevitably brought to his heart as he used his arm to discreetly wipe the moisture from his eyes.
"Yeah, I can see that, Dean. When Rufus found me and helped me deal with the crapload of crap I was dealin' with after Karen passed, I was partial to him. I didn't trust anyone, didn't want their 'advice' and I just went with him."
"I trust you-"
"I know that, but I also know what it means havin' a person like Caleb."
Dean nodded. "Yeah."
"I know this is hard on you, Dean-"
"I don't want to talk about this," Dean said, rejecting Bobby's attempts at getting him to open up, as he started to get up, but was almost immediately stopped by the restraining hand that Bobby placed on his arm.
"Dean, you have to open up to someone a little bit."
"There's nothing to say!" Dean argued. "He's stuck in that hellhole because I was the one who convinced him to run!"
It had been a feeling Dean had struggled with ever since the police officer had told him that heartbreaking news that Caleb had been arrested for attempting to flee with them. In Dean's grief-clouded mind, if he hadn't campaigned so strongly for them to run, Caleb wouldn't have done it since he was always so opposed to it, and now Dean knew the reason for that.
"I have heard some screwed up things in my time," Bobby began, "but this is by far the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
"It's true," Dean said with a scoff. "He never wanted to run, and then I hounded him until he did, and now look where he is!"
"Caleb is an adult, Dean. He made the choice to leave with you boys because he thought that he was doing what he could to protect you. That's all it's ever been about for him, making sure you boys are loved, protected and cared for."
Dean shook his head, putting his hand up to his mouth to quiet the violent sobs that were trying to come. "And now," he said, closing his eyes as more tears squeezed out of his eyes. "Now he's in jail again! Because of me."
Bobby shook his head incredulously, and also in sadness. The poor kid was only that, and he had placed so much blame and guilt on shoulders that didn't deserve that kind of pressure. "You know that's wrong, right?"
"It's not."
"Yes, it is," Bobby contradicted. "It's not always on you when something happens to one of us."
"It is this time."
"You think Caleb would want you to put this kind of crap on your shoulders?"
Dean shook his head, bowing his head as he tried in vain to reclaim control over his emotions, but it was impossible, not with what they were talking about, not when his mind had firmly given itself over to the emotions that it had been denying itself for days.
"I can't really ask him that, can I?" Dean said. "Not when some son of a bitch judge is keeping him locked in a cell all day long."
"You think what you know to be true about Caleb, Dean, and you go off that. And you know," Bobby said, "that he would never want you to place the blame on yourself when he made the choice to leave."
"Yeah," Dean said, nodding his head. "Have you seen him yet?"
"Not yet. I'm supposed to go in the next few days."
When Caleb had been in jail for murder, Bobby hadn't been able to go with Jim to see their friend, but he knew that he couldn't just leave him there alone to deal with this by himself. It would be hard to see him like that, but he knew that what his friend was going through, would be worse than the trauma of seeing him in jail.
"Can I go?"
"Not this time," Bobby said. "I'll talk to Caleb about it, and if he thinks that it would be okay, then the next time I go, you can go for sure."
Dean sighed, nodding. "Okay," he said, knowing he would have to be happy with the knowledge that Bobby would discuss the possibility of him going the next time he made the trip to Minnesota. "When you go, can you stop at the house and get some of our stuff?"
"Yeah, Just write down what you and Sam need."
"Alright."
Rufus arrived a few minutes after Bobby and Dean's conversation. Dean was grateful for the distraction his appearance presented, as he tried to dry the irksome tears that seemed intent on staying for the long haul.
"Are these the kids that you been babysitting?" Rufus aske, turning his attention to Sam and Dean, who had scooted closer on instinct toward his brother to protect him from this stranger.
"Shut up, Rufus," Bobby grumbled, clearing off a space on the counter for Rufus to dump his research. "What's the rub?"
"I don't know what this is actually," Rufus said, shaking his head. "It could be any number of things."
"I thought you said it was a spirit?" Dean prompted, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, well, sometimes the facts of the case seem to match up, and then it all explodes in your face. But this is either a twisted son of a bitch spirit, or it's something else-"
"Like what?" Bobby asked, his eyebrows fusing together in confusion.
"Well," Rufus said, "this spirit or whatever it is, only goes after children who have been bad, or have disobeyed."
"What?" Bobby said incredulously. "What the hell kind of spirit would make that kind of distinction?"
"That's you, Sam," Dean said, cracking a rare grin.
""Uh-uh," Sam shook his head. "That's you!"
"Nope," Dean said, shaking his head, as he picked up one of the pieces of research and looked closer at it. "So this may not even be a spirit at all?"
"That's the big question mark," Rufus said. "It has some of the makings of a typical spirit haunting, but there are some things that makes me question it, and I can't take this on full time."
"Why the hell not?" Bobby shot back.
"Because I want to get the hell away from your face as soon as possible," Rufus said, giving him a mock glare.
"How long ago did you meet?" Dean asked, following their argument with amused eyes.
"Way back," Bobby replied, rolling his eyes.
"I'm surprised your senile old brain remembers that far back," Rufus said.
Even though his comment only served to irritate Bobby, it brought an actual laugh out of Dean, who could never pass up the chance to give Bobby a hard time on the best of occasions, and especially loved it when other people took the matter out of his hands.
"He's got you there, old man," Dean pointed out, still smiling.
"You better watch it," Bobby warned. "This old brain might just remember to smack you within an inch of your life." Even though his tone held bite, there was none of the threat in it, as he was just glad that Dean was finding something to smile about again, even if it was at his expense.
"You'd smack this hot piece of ass?" Dean demanded, opening his mouth in mock shock. "Wow, Bobby, cruel."
Beside him, Sam was giggling, clearly enjoying watching Dean and Bobby go back and forth. It was a nice breather from the tenseness and the drama that had permeated the house the last several days.
"Yeah, you better watch it, kid."
"We'll see."
"So," Rufus said. "You think you can take this on?"
"Don't see why not," Bobby said, shrugging.
"Alright, because if your heart can't take it," Rufus said mock seriously.
"You're the one with the damn pacemaker," Bobby shot back, shaking his head in irritation. "Get the hell out of my house before I shoot your ass."
"Alright, alright. Don't let this old Grinch bring you down too much," Rufus added, turning back to the boys.
"Oh, don't worry," Dean said. "I got him covered."
"Good to hear. Nice to meet you boys."
"You too," Dean replied.