Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Chapter 10: Occlumency

"Legilimens!"

He tries to empty his mind, will it not to let Snape see…

"Focus, Potter! Again. . . . one — two — three — Legilimens!"

Harry hasn't made much progress with Occlumency over the last few weeks. He'd been surprised the day that Snape came to talk to him. His father had been in the room during the discussion. They both brought him into the living room and before Snape even started to explain what was happening, James gave Harry a look as if to tell him, "Careful what you say, boy." This was a signal to Harry. He needed to pretend not to know what he did as Snape gave the reasoning behind the Occlumency lessons. His father left reluctantly, with insistence from Dumbledore, before the first lesson began.

"Dim as you may be, Potter, I would think that by now you would've gained a modicum of skill at Occlumency. The Dark Lord will not be nearly as lenient as I. You must learn to discipline your mind!" It's very like Snape to make Harry take the lessons the evening before his birthday. Even though, with all that's going on, Harry's birthday is the last thing on his mind.

"I'm trying!"

"What did you say?"

"I'm trying, sir." Harry can't help but think that, just like in Potions, he would do better with a different teacher. Not to mention the casual invasion of his most private memories irks him to no end. Most of what Snape sees of Harry's memories is the Department of Mysteries. This particular memory gives Harry quite a hard time, because his and Voldemort's shared longing battles Harry's logicality.

"You must try harder! Every night that passes provides the Dark Lord another chance to learn of his access into your mind. It's only a matter of time before he starts to use it against you." Snape raises his wand, "On the count of three. . . . one — two — three — Legilimens!"

Again, Harry struggles to thwart Snape's attack. Severus makes his way into the Dementor battle at the Hogwarts lake. Harry is there as well, with an unconscious, wounded Sirius. Harry sees Snape across the lake, looking back at him and muttering under his breath. A faded Snape becomes clearer and clearer as he pushes through Harry's mental defenses. Finally, Harry has had enough. He raises his own wand.

"Protego!"

Snape stumbles back, his wand ripped from his hand. Harry sees memories unfamiliar to him. They are not his own.

A scrawny little boy with greasy hair shaking in a corner as a hook-nosed man shouts at a cowering woman…

A teenager shooting down flies alone in a dark bedroom…

being teased as he tries to mount a broom that won't stay put…

"ENOUGH!"

They're back to reality and Harry sizes up what he'd done. Snape, slightly fatigued, says, "Well, that was certainly an improvement. I don't remember telling you to use the shield charm, but clearly, it was effective."

Harry is sure that he just saw Snape's memories. His mind swirls with realization and perhaps a small amount of regret. Harry's hatred of the Potions Professor has always been unquestionable, but for a second, he does something that he's never done before. That's considering Snape's past. He's never wondered or cared about Snape's background. All he has ever known about the man is that he hates him. And it unnerves him that the shaking, crying little boy from the memory could be the man that stands before him now.

But these thoughts are killed by dread as Snape says, "Shall we try again?"

Oh, he's going to make me pay for that, Harry thinks. Before he has the chance to gather himself, he hears Snape's cry of, "Legilimens!"

Many different memories flash before Harry's mind. The one that stands out the most to him is the Department of Mysteries. Per usual, as he approaches the door, he finds himself skewing his efforts to push Snape out. Now, Harry battles two minds; Snape's and Voldemort's.

But suddenly, he's released back to reality by an outside force. Harry is lying on the floor with no memory of how he got there. As he stands, he sees his mother standing in front of the living room entrance, her wand in hand, eyes shooting daggers at Snape.

"You didn't give him enough of a warning, Severus."

Snape's eyes meet Lily's for only a split second before he turns away, his eyes locking on the floor. His voice comes out far less spiteful than usual. Harry notices this.

"He's not even trying. It would take the Dark Lord little effort to—"

Harry interrupts. Whether it's his shared frustration from Voldemort, his hatred of Snape, or his general stress from the situation, he doesn't know. But in a fit of pure anger, Harry says, "Why don't you tell me something, sir? Why do you call Voldemort the Dark Lord? I've only ever heard Death Eaters call him that—"

"You'd better learn your place, Potter."

"Stop it, both of you!" Lily brings the quarrel to a halt. She swiftly walks over to Harry and takes him by the shoulders, ushering him out of the room. "Lessons are through for today."

Harry lets Lily dictate his movement to his bedroom, out of exhaustion more than anything. Lily still has him by the shoulders, muttering things under her breath. Harry can only make out, "…no reason to treat him like this." Harry assumes she's referring to Snape. And he agrees with her. he doesn't recall ever doing anything to Snape to warrant this constant mistreatment. But the view of Snape's memories invades the simplicity of mutual hatred in Harry's mind. A tiny voice seems appear, telling him that there may be something deeper behind his Potions Professor's abrasive exterior. Harry turns to his mother.

"Do you know anything about him?"

Lily is caught off guard. Harry pulls away from her grip and springs this question on her with no warning as they reach the door to Harry and Ron's room.

"What?"

"Snape. Why is he the way he is?"

Lily can't bring herself to answer him. She knows James won't be happy that Harry is curious about Severus' past. Harry deserves to know the truth, but also to be able to think well of his father.

"Sweetheart, you're exhausted. I think it's best if you get to bed."

"I know I'm exhausted, mum. If you don't want to tell me, you can just say so." Harry says this with more heat than intended. But he doesn't back down from making his point. Lily sighs.

"I really shouldn't…" Lily pauses. Harry can see the wheels turning in her head. "Do you mean the way he is in general, or the way he is towards you?"

"Both, and the way he is towards you," Harry answers immediately, even though he knows it's a long shot.

"I can tell you first one," Lily offers. Harry eagerly listens to her. "Well, for starters, Severus didn't have many friends. He was picked on a lot in school. And I don't think his home life was much better. . . . I doubt most of the friends he did have were even real." Harry sees Lily's eyes leave the conversation and go somewhere far away.

"What does that mean?" Harry asks. Lily's eyes don't leave their distant place, but she seems to hear him fine.

"Around the start of our fifth year, he started to hang out with these people… They were…"

"Death Eaters," Harry doesn't ask. He has all the information he needs to be sure of it now.

"Yes," Lily says with a sober tone. "I wish I had done more."

"You?"

"Yes, Harry. He and I used to be close."

"What happened?"

"…I can't tell you that either."

Harry is up with the sun the next morning. Odd. Harry figured he would sleep late today. He was weary to the point of passing out last night. Wait, he thinks, What time did I go to bed last night? Harry doesn't remember looking at the time. Although, he doesn't remember much after the conversation with his mother.

The fact that Snape had been a Death Eater isn't exactly surprising to Harry. What really stunned him was the fact that his sweet mother had been friends with him. Although, if Harry is being honest, he can picture it. He can picture his mother being nice to pretty much anyone, even Snape. But there are a lot of things stumping Harry right now, including why Dumbledore trusts Snape so deeply. Dumbledore hasn't exactly been in Harry's good graces lately. Harry knows the headmaster must be busy, but he can't help feeling a little abandoned by him. This new information isn't helping. Harry figures that Snape is in the Order solely because he can be a spy. But if Snape truly was a Death Eater, how does Dumbledore know that he isn't being a triple agent, instead of just a double one?

Harry could also tell that his mother was worried about something last night. Worried about revealing too much. Harry assumes it's for the sake of his safety. This is nothing new for her. Harry has never been too keen on rules. But now, he finds them especially restricting. He finds himself wanting to push the limits over and over again. It's been like this all summer, and he can tell it's causing tension between him and his mother, who wants so desperately to keep him out of harm's way. Harry wishes they could come to some sort of middle ground. But he's quickly learning that when it comes to his wellbeing, his mother isn't going to be the slightest bit flexible.

Harry's confusion escalates when he sees the other bed in the room empty. Harry never wakes up after Ron even when he gets up at a normal hour. He rises from his bed just as slowly as he gets dressed. Once he's finally decent, he makes to leave the room. But the door won't budge.

Harry shakes the doorknob as hard as he can, but the door stands its ground and doesn't move an inch. He goes for his wand on the nightstand but doesn't find it. Harry pinches himself to make sure he's not in another nightmare. And his heartbeat starts to quicken when he feels pain. He's torn between yelling for help and trying to find another way out. He has no idea who could be out there.

"Hoo, hooo."

Harry turns to his snowy owl in her cage. She appears to be trying to calm him.

"What is it, Hedwig? Do you know who locked it?" Hedwig lightly nips at the lock on her cage and Harry is surprised when it comes undone so easily. He's sure he locked her cage well the last time he put her in it. Immediately following this, Hedwig flies out the open window in the bedroom, leaving Harry in complete bewilderment.

She flies down the front of Grimmauld place to a window where she knows the living room is located.

The occupants of the kitchen include all the kids, Molly and Arthur, Lily and James, Sirius, Remus, and Tonks. They all help Molly prepare a big birthday breakfast for Harry. And a three-layer cake is in the oven.

Suddenly, both Sirius and Remus stop stiff. Everyone notices. Padfoot and Moony share a look, as if to ask, "You too?". James knows this as the tale tell sign that they both hear something due to their canine senses. They both take out their wands and follow their ears into the living room. Everyone else copies and eventually they start to hear it too. They're both relieved and confused when they see Hedwig pecking the window. Remus lets her in, and she starts to hoot and flap her wings slowly.

"Oh, Harry must be awake!" Ron says, surprising everyone. "I asked Hedwig to warn us this morning. And opened our bedroom window for her."

"That was smart of you, Ron," Hermione comments, impressed.

"Always the tone of surprise."

"He's awake? But the cake isn't done yet!" Molly says, hurrying back to the kitchen.

"I thought you said he was exhausted last night?" Sirius asks Lily.

"He was… and he may have gone to bed a little early," she responds. "It'll be fine. We should have breakfast before cake anyway."

James takes that as his cue to go and get Harry. He arrives at the door and quickly unlocks it with his wand. He walks in to see Harry franticly looking out the window. Harry turns and sees him.

"Dad! What's going on?! Hedwig just —"

"I know, Prongslet. She came down to tell us you were awake," James says, putting up a hand and smiling at him.

"But who locked the door?"

James simply leans against the doorframe, waiting for him to figure it out.

"Wait, you did? Why would you lock me in here?"

"Son, did you really forget what today is?" James asks, handing Harry his wand. Harry takes it and stares back at his father in confusion. He hasn't been keeping up with the dates lately. All he knows is that it's sometime in late July… and just like that, it dawns on him.

"Oh! It's my birthday, isn't it?"

"Ding, ding, ding!" James sings, laughing as Harry rushes past him.

When Harry and James arrive downstairs, the rest of Harry's family and friends shout out simultaneously.

"Surprise!"

A/N: Hey, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed Chapter 10. Chapter 11 will most likely be up by this time next week. Let me know what you think of this one. And do you guys think I should pick up next chapter with the birthday party, or just give a little recap of it and move on? Let me know in your reviews. Until next time! :)