CHAPTER TEN: SUPERDUPER DEAD MART

Chapter Warning: Graphic Violence/Gore

Sam elongated her stride just a touch to keep up with the men, they were both over 6ft and despite being tall, she wasn't 'that' tall. They'd been on the road now for two days, they should reach Diamond City tomorrow morning, according to Preston it would probably take them another two days to reach the Castle after that, it was really only 40miles or so from Sanctuary to the Castle but all the damn attacks and roadblocks and territory disputes had meant that had to keep taking a less direct route and backtracking. Although thankfully they'd all unanimously agreed they wouldn't be short-cutting through the subway system again. But still it was exhausting. Jack had equated it to taking a stroll through a town in Iraq during the Gulf. Although he said he'd been shot at less then. And only a couple of people had actually tried to bite him.

Jack thought he had an inkling of the geography having been to Boston, he was pretty sure that Sanctuary was back where the Minute Man National Park had been and that the Castle was going to be Fort Independence. Sam thought she vaguely recalled this but having lived all over the country, but largely in Washington or the mid-west well, the East Coast was more of a mystery to her. Still it was strange to have such obvious landmarks that had fallen into ruin. Some days it was the familiarity of it all that broke her, she'd have rather a dead world, than 'their-almost' dead world.

The Dog... because she refused to call it Dogmeat, stopped and paused, waiting for her to catchup those few strides she'd fallen behind again. Jack would have noticed too, but he trusted her to call out if she needed a slower pace, or a break. It was her attention that was the issue not her damn legs. As if to hammer that point home the sight in front of her she should have spotted sooner took her almost by surprised and she dropped into a crouch beside Jack and Preston as the hid. In front of them was a large building that had a sign stating clearly 'Superduper Mart', complete with trolleys turned into something that looked like it ought to be at a butchers and chained up sacks holding what she hoped to god wasn't the remains of a human being... or several. There were the raiders pinned or spiked or pulverised in some way strung up or skewered to the outside on spikes as a deterrent, or macabre decoration, the whole place looked like some kind of butchers shop gone bad.

By the slightly green look on Preston's face she'd suspected her first guess was right.

"Supermutants." he'd shook his head, she knew Jack had tangled with these things but she'd yet to have the pleasure. "We go that way, we're going to have to wipe them all out, it's like stepping on an ant hive. And they're tough bastards. Heavy artillery, missiles, machete's the size of your arm."

Sam didn't like the expression on Jack's face.

"Oh come on your not serious!" She all but hissed at him. He gave her a look that said 'hear me out, I listen to enough of your crazy ideas'. She crossed her arms.

"Have you seen what is hanging there. Meat-bags. Literally." she added feeling queasy just at the thought. "And that's what's left of the people spiked and mangled out there. They clearly carve people up or bash you to little bite size bits for god knows what reason!" She snapped terror and nausea warring for dominance with disgust and horror as she posed her rhetorical question.

"To eat." Preston replied grimly. "Or because it's fun." He added more darkly and Sam looked away, she hadn't wanted an answer to that question.

Jack grimaced. "Well that's a step up from Ghouls, at least with Supermutants your dead when they eat you." He shared a knowing look with Preston before her horrified expression caught his attention and he quelled the manic grin, sensing that she really was worried about the gallows humour he had going on right now.

Perhaps all that talk of Iraq hadn't been good for him, he'd been in a dark mood since, no more dancing in the road anyway, not that she blamed him, it was probably a little bit of his inevitable PTSD which he claimed he didn't have. "I'm handling it." He'd groused at her as she'd tried to get him to talk to her about it when they'd stopped for a comfort break. Yesterday it seemed had been her moment to have a small breakdown, today was his, only in typical Jack style he wasn't breaking, so much as imploding.

She glanced at Preston looking for support, given as he generally seemed risk averse. But he was eyeing the SuperDuper Mart with a certain resolve.

"Oh for God sake no. We don't need a grocery run!" she reasoned that was where they were going with this. "I thought we'd learnt our lesson about unnecessary detours in the damn subway." She reminded.

"Carter." Jack started he generally called her Sam now, but he defaulted back to Carter whenever it was any sort of combat situation. Or his was furious with her. She'd yet to hear him snap 'Colonel' again in a while… so there was that.

"Look," he swiped his thumb over his lips, looking faintly guilty as he considered the inevitable it seemed. "Preston and I have been thinking of hitting one of these for a while, we've come across a couple of places like this." He admitted, "Didn't quite have the manpower, but with the four of us…" He shrugged helplessly like it was out of his hands and she felt irritation bloom, he could play the hapless fool well enough when it suited him, he could see she wasn't buying it and held up his hand to stop her comment as she opened her mouth. "And yes, we need the supplies. Unless you've got another few MRE packs your hiding in your jacket?"

"I'm out of Sugarbombs too." Preston muttered, seeing her look he quickly added. "Plus we'll stand more chance of getting into Diamond City touting supply lines back West if we have something to show for it." He added and Sam dropped her head, sighing, she was being outvoted. She ground her teeth in irritation, that they were probably right irked her more than anything. Because she'd never wanted to go in somewhere less.

"There's three of us." She retorted snottily. "The Dog doesn't count." Because she had no other reasonable argument other than the idea of what was down there scared her more than the ghouls at this point and these last few days had been no cake walk.

Jack of course knew where her head was at. "Look, Carter, these things are tough and repulsive, but they're dumb as rocks, Preston and I have taken them on before, it'll be fine." He told her with an air of irreverence she'd learnt to trust, but out here, it made her a little nervous, out here carless got you dead… pretty much the way a lot of things did.

"Those were camps and they were outside." Sam glowered, knowing full well what he'd been off doing, Preston was a bit of a light weight when it came to rum apparently. "That is an entirely different ball game, there is literally nowhere to run." She pointed out.

"Oh come on, where's your sense of adventure Carter?" Jack walked beside her and swatted her ass in a move that might have got him Court Marshalled not so long ago, or soundly punched. Now she just glowered at him, darting away in case he tried again. But she hadn't missed the order he'd tried 'not' to give. Apparently, the General had decided they were doing this. Just like the damn subway. And here she'd thought they were voting, partners, wasn't that what he'd promised? It seems that went out the window if he didn't like her answer. Sam threw a look at his back, deciding that they'd need to talk about this at some point, and her instinct to follow, even now. But Preston was of no help, other than his voiced protest of the Subway, it seemed like he'd been waiting for someone to give him an order worth a damn for a long time and he was more than happy to follow the General's.

"And Dogmeat definitely counts." Jack called back thoroughly ending any discussion as he slid past and went to stake out the entryway, patting the dog on his head as he went, who looked dignified under the fuss.

"Well at least they'll know what to put on the label of the can they'll stuff him into." She retorted and Jack paused, glancing back over his shoulder to give her a darkly knowing look. Okay so maybe her humour had gone a bit dark of late as well. Possibly Jack had been right about the need to see a shrink to get a handle on her own share of PTSD that needed to work its way out, from any one of the many terrible things she'd been through since joining the SGC. And after landing here.

Inside was every bit as bad as she'd thought it would be. The Supermutant's up close and personal were she supposed like the big dumb trolls Jack had described, albeit very real and terrifyingly capable of tearing you limb from limb. The evidence of that was clear from the sorry band of raiders that had clearly had the same dumb idea as they had a few days ago, at least she was guessing based on their state of decomp... and the smell. She'd been giving some serious thought to damaging her own sense of smell, for exactly this reason. It was overpowering and made her eyes sting and her throat gag involuntarily as they'd hit the inside of what had once been a supermarket. But... the other downside was smell was a powerful tool for spoiled food and catching anyone sneaking up on you out here. The oil she'd stuck under her nose to drown out the smell would have to do for now, as she prayed the contents of her own stomach stayed down, she needed the damn calories.

It was as she ducked and a Supermutant roared spittle in her face its booming voice declaring her a 'stupid human!' as it tried to grab a hold of her and she dove through its legs, that she realised she might actually miss Anubis' Supersoldiers. They were the nearest equivalent to the hulking mass she could think of and she'd once been hounded by one day and night through rough terrain bleeding out which made her shudder just to think and her thigh twinge in remembered pain. But at least those bastards had just wanted to kill you dead. Clean, efficient, brutal and unrelenting, there was a certain purity in dying so quickly, almost painlessly. It was strange to think of any death, particularly a violent one, in being preferred over another. But there were definitely better ways to go than torn limb from limb or pounded with oversized fists, until her bones broke and her flesh split apart which would be her fate here.

Her escape was short lived as she scrambled away, and felt its huge hand around her throat as she was hurled back into a wall, air exploded out of her lungs and she gasped trying to choke more back in and being blocked by the tightening fist around her throat. It took hold of her arm and she let out a sound with the last of her air, her eyes bulging and her body screaming in agony as it forced the limb to its limit and for one breathless moment, she was about to know what having your arm ripped off felt like. Then it leant in close his grip on her throat loosening slightly as it let out what she was certain was a chuckle, its foul breath flowing over her face and had she not been lost in pure adrenalin fuelled haze of terror she'd have thrown up.

"Pretty pretty little meat-sack." It growled at her. "Scream."

She still didn't know if she was more shocked that these things could talk, that they apparently spoke pigeon English, or that this particular one had enough vocabulary to taunt her with as it hounded her. She'd thought that the Supermutants wanted them as a food source, but Jack and Preston had either been horribly naïve or just lucky enough not to get up close. Because this ugly fucker wanted her to suffer, it was grinning like a damn clown as it gave her breath only to scream as it strained her arm to breaking, slowly, slowly she felt it when her shoulder popped and dislocated with a sickening pop of dull agony.

She screamed despite her resolve, turning it into a roar of fury as she headbutted it in the face in desperation, almost knocking herself out on its dense skull. Dogmeat was at its feet snarling and snapping chunks out of anything he could get his teeth into on the hulking green monster. It batted the poor Dog away like a ragdoll with a meaty hand like he was an annoying fly, but it freed Sam's arm good arm and she reached for the automatic 10mm with the armour piercing rounds on her thigh. It turned back leering at her through its big blunt teeth and she held her breath and she emptied the clip into its head and slumped down to the floor against the wall it had originally tossed her against only a few moments ago. Right before it had kicked out the floor with a violent swipe that had sent Preston and Jack tumbling to the lower levels, unable to assist her, but possibly safe and together at least.

Jack was right about the Dog of course. The moment the Supermutant had gone for her he'd tried to deflect it, charging at the monstera and making the damn thing lunge uselessly which had given her a moment to catch it off balance, spotting her exit through its legs. Even if that had been a short-lived escape as it had grabbed her by the throat and hurled her against the wall.

Dogmeat stood beside her now blood and spittle on its jaw, and a growl that she could feel all the way along her spine as it pressed closed to her as she scrambled back on her knees, clutching her injured arm to her chest as she pressed herself into the nearest solid wall and tried to catch her breath. Not caring that her one good hand was now covered in blood and gore and it had the gun in a death grip. She was frozen in that spot, anything could have taken her out as she sat there staring at the very dead nearly headless creature that had wanted to end her painfully. The Dog all but stepped over her protectively as they heard the sound of footsteps a low dangerous growl in its throat as she tried to lift the gun and didn't make it past the mass of fur in front of her that she clutched in desperation.

As if her thoughts had summoned him Jack appeared crashing through the door and from the look on his face, fully expecting to have found her torso, separated from her head. She levelled him with a look, her gun arm wrapped around the fur of Dogmeat's neck like the lifeline he was. She took one slow breath in through her mouth, avoiding her nose all together was safer she found as she tried to slow the beating of her heart and the shake in her limbs, as she sat there surrounded in 'bone', 'brain' and 'blood' as she was. The 3Bs Jack called them, a sure way of making anything dead in the Wasteland.

"Sam?" He asked, the shake in his voice as he all but skidded down next to her.

"I'm fine." She told him as he cautiously tried to reach for her, only to find her not letting go of either the dog or the gun.

"Your arm?"

"Dislocated." She admitted. Preston appeared looking whiter than she'd ever seen the dark-skinned man look, his relief evident had finding her in one piece, relatively. Clearly, he'd expected to find her dead too. She was almost offended, except that she very nearly had been.

Preston edged to the other side of her. Eyeing the dead Supermutant. "Good job." He told her firmly. "But we're not out of it yet. You need that arm working, let the General set it." He told her and Sam almost bristled at the command. But then she realised they both thought she was in shock and were trying to snap her out of it. Maybe she was, she probably looked shaken half choked mess though. It took Dogmeat slipping out of her grasp and giving her a nuzzle and lick that eventually realise she'd spaced out so much that they'd gotten her to her feet without so much as jostling her. Or maybe they had and she was so damn full of adrenalin she hadn't felt a thing.

"Just do it." She said firmly, looking pointedly at Jack and then away whilst Preston and he manoeuvred her into a position. She didn't protest when Preston held out an inhaler and she let him expel a puff into her mouth as it hit the back of her throat. It rushed down her airways dissolving into her tissues and in moments everything felt very far away and disconnected. If this was what Mama Murphy wanted to feel, she could understand it for a moment, it was certainly a relief from where she'd been. It might have been minutes, or seconds, she had no idea. She watched with detachment in apparent slow motion as Jack grasped her arm and Preston's hand pressed firmly against her back and together they moved sharply and suddenly. There was a pop that sounded more like a crack and a muted roar of pain that made her want to vomit. Then the world came back into focus and she was gasping and panting as agony raced across her entire arm and her blessedly numb hand remembered how much everything above it hurt.

"Ow." She groaned. Preston whipped out the needle she recognised as a stimpack and she hissed as he stuck her shoulder with it. Apparently it had short term tissue regenerative properties if used immediately, gave the healing a jump start if she was lucky she'd not loose any sensation or movement in the arm and the ligaments which she was certain that bastard thing had torn would knit back together. She hadn't quite believed it was capable of so much until she'd seen the medic use it to repair one of the farm hands when he'd accidentally almost taken off his own damn food with a machete back in Sanctuary. A day later the same guy had been up and hobbling around with just a small scar for his troubles.

"Better?" Jack asked and she grimaced.

"Wonderful." She growled. "Can we go now. Before something else tries to murder me horribly." She wasn't joking.

His hand went out to her trembling ones, as if to comfort her and she pulled her trembling hand away. "Not right now." She told him, she didn't want to be touched gently, she didn't want to feel anything at all. They were barely through the home depot section, they'd yet to reach the food and her rucksack was already full of the reasons Jack had also been right about coming in here in the first goddamn place. She didn't want to need to be in here and yet she knew they weren't leaving yet. God... they were highly trained soldiers with years of frontline combat experience. That the average settler might attempt to knock over a place like this was terrifying.

"Sam baby." He tried and she gave him a look and he nodded dropping her eyes, they had been enough battles together to know that sometimes a soldier just needed a certain headspace to survive. "All right Colonel. Let's get it together, one more floor to search and we're golden." He told her firmly and it was what she needed right now, to just be a solider, following her commanding officer, not a frightened woman who'd seen enough gore and horror to last several lifetimes. If they got out of this, she worried she might never want to pick up a gun and go charging through the gate into the unknown again. And then there were the nights when she worried she'd get back and still want to do just that, the idea of not having a weapon, of not killing something making her shudder. She wasn't sure what either said about her state of mind but she worried neither was good.

If they did get back, they'd both probably need to spend far too much time talking to a shrink. But then getting out of this place, this World, was looking like a fools hope at best. How the hell was she supposed to magic them out of this god forsaken place when even a basic supply run could turn into this!

They walked away from that place and Sam couldn't help but feel like she'd left a part of herself behind. The part that had never seen those things, never even imagined them. Now they'd live in her nightmares, whenever she closed her eyes she'd see it. Smell it. Feel it under her feet and beneath her nails. She'd know inescapably what human meat smelled like when cooked. What the rancid breath of the creature that ate it felt like as it bore down on her, desperate to make her scream. The sound her arm made as it was almost pulled from her body…. she shuddered going cold all over.

"I hate this place." she rasped, refusing to cry in case she let the dam break and all the misery of this world and her pity for it come flowing out. Jack slid his fingers into hers and she accepted them for a moment with a squeeze back. Now they were outside she felt she could accept a moments comfort.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it could be that bad." He admitted quietly and she heard the same horror in his voice as she felt in hers, and in some weird fucked up way, it was easier to know that the big bad black ops General had lost his lunch too. But then no one had trained them for this… how could they?

Preston was ahead of them Dogmeat walking along beside him and Sam nodded. "The Dog stays." She sighed and squeezed his fingers tightly. Not so long ago she'd have dropped his hand, for fear of someone seeing, or for being so obvious in her feelings. Hell, for needing to hold someone's hand had once been reason enough to force her to let go. Now she clung to it like the lifeline it was.

"He saved my life too." She added needlessly, Jack had seen what the Dog had done as he'd gone crashing down a level. She'd wondered if that would be the last moment she saw him alive, after all she'd had no idea what was down there either, if they'd even survive the fall. In that moment, she'd felt utterly numb at the idea of it. Like it wouldn't compute.

Jack's grip became almost too tight. "That thing, it blindsided me..." Sam nodded, he thought he'd let her down. Of course, because if it went wrong in battle it was automatically his fault according to Jack O'Neill. Which was ridiculous, there was no right way for battles to go out here, either you lived or you didn't. At least that's how it felt to her, tactics rarely came into it when you were fighting insanity.

"Don't be an idiot." she admonished more gently than her words suggested. "It wasn't your fault. It's not like we're fighting enemy soldiers. They don't have predictable movement patterns or hell... brains half the time out here. Literally." She admitted, thinking of the ghouls. "There was no logical reason for it to lunge like that." She offered trying to console him, Jack wasn't normally one to question decisions, he made it and stuck to it. Clearly, he was right and when it came to her, he lost that objectivity.

"Yeah well its brainless manoeuvre worked." Jack pointed out. "He got us out the way and had you dead to rights."

"And now it's dead. So on the whole it was a shit tactic." She snapped. "This whole damn world feels like that, one shit decision after another. Populated by monsters that prey on anyone less monstrous than them!" She admitted.

Jack tugged her to a stop for a moment and she winced, her arm still a little tender at the jostling but not far off back to normal, god bless stimpacks she thought. Jack paused for a moment, eyeing her shoulder his lips twisting into a grimace, but he didn't apologise, his fingers loosened slightly though in their painful grasp.

"Sam. That's every world, every time that ever existed and with humans in it. You've just described the human condition and the food chain. We used to be on top... now we're not. Circle of life."

He was so cold, so matter of fact and she realised he was quite possibly angrier than she'd ever seen him. Way worse than the time she'd locked herself in the basement with Cassie as she threatened to go nuclear. Or when he'd caught her jerry rigging that water sanitiser with Sturgess, he was practically vibrating with rage. He turned as if to walk away and she wasn't having that, they needed to talk about this.

"Hey..." She grabbed his arm, forcing him back to look at her as he tried to stalk away his movements stiff and controlled. "It was your stupid idea to go in there, so don't you dare get mad at me for it!" She threatened, knowing when he was gearing up for a fight, they'd had them enough after a bad decision on both sides.

"I haven't said a word!" He snarled. Sam spun on him and jabbed him hard in the chest with her good right arm.

"And that Jack O'Neill is how I know how pissed you are. Say it." she tilted her chin up, daring him. "Say what you've wanted to since it happened." She bullied and he got very still. His eyes narrowed at her. She damn well knew what he wanted to say, she'd known it the minute it went South because he liked to pick apart her actions after a battle, it was almost second nature.

"I told you to stay behind me and watch the right flank." He said, quietly, but it was blistering for the power behind it and Sam almost shivered, turning away from him and those damn eyes that bore down into her soul. Damning her for making him worry it seemed.

"And I told you I didn't want to go in there." She admitted finally. "But we're alive, my arms knitting itself back onto my body nicely, our packs our full, and we both have some wonderful memories to take home with us. So lets call it FUBAR and move on!" She jabbed at his chest with her finger one last time and was too slow when he lunged and caught it using it to drag her bodily into him. She hissed in pain at the sudden thump of her chest against his, her tender arm jostling.

"You don't get to fucking die on me Carter. You hear me!" He hissed against her ear and pulled back to press a kiss that was more teeth than tongue to her mouth that startled her for a moment before she gave back as good as she got, until she tasted blood and he retreated suddenly. Staring wildly back at her from dark fathomless eyes, his breath coming out in short angry bursts. Her eyes were on his lips, she wanted to kiss him again she realised, startled that she could be so furious and attracted to him at the same time, but she didn't because he was an ass and her arm hurt again.

"Fine." she snapped.

"Fine." he growled. Then he spun on his heel and whistled for Dogmeat to walk ahead with him, whilst she was left to catch up to Preston, who staunchly didn't mention the shouting, or the bloodied lip she knew would scab over with the impression of Jack's teeth.

She hated this place. Hated what it was turning them into. There was a moment, a dark spiralling moment then that she let herself wonder again, if this was 'real'. The thought of Fifth rising to the surface when she was at her weakest. It seemed like no matter how many times she convinced herself, and thought she'd moved past it, that it would rear its ugly head again when her world view was shaken. The damn notion wouldn't die and left her feeling sick with the thought and strangely relieved at the same time, because in some ways, maybe the idea of a false reality was better than this. Which as she chased the idea around her head, was what convinced her to let the thought go this time at least. After all his goal had been to keep her, somehow placing her in a nightmare scenario where all she wanted to do was flee from it, was hardly going to work in his favour. And it would be a demonstration of skill and complexity in world building far beyond anything he'd shown her before, his puerile fantasy paled in comparison. It was almost a ludicrous suggestion. But still she knew it would be back, an irrational fear sent out to stalk her relentlessly and she touched her fingers to her forehead once more.

But it ultimately came down to how far down the rabbit hole she wanted to go. Because if this wasn't real and she was still stuck inside her own damn head on that fucking ship, encased in replicators, her body used to his own sick ends without her knowledge... held there like some damn prize on display. Then Jack wasn't jack. And she'd willingly fallen in love with the enemy.

Maybe she should have taken the padded cell option she considered grimly and just confessed her crazy to the shrinks and done her duty to declare her mental state compromised. But it was too late for that. Crazy or not beforehand, she was starting to suspect that she wasn't going to get anymore sane out here

That night as they set up camp at yet another Red Rocket truck stop – because the whole world seemed littered with them – and she disappeared around back to relieve herself, distracted, she was surprised by a hand on her hip and another on her lower back as a body pressed into her firmly. Her natural instinct to panic and fight back was halted by the sudden overwhelming smell of him as he pressed her front crushingly into the wall. She used the momentum and his loose grip to spin around, not wanting to be pinned. She had a moment where they were face on and she stared back at him, her breathing sharp and heavy with her shock. He practically radiated intensity and heat, his fingers digging into her back and her hip as he pressed in close until every part of her was crushed against his chest it seemed and she was staring up into his face. His stubbled jaw scratching along her cheek. He hadn't touched her with real intent since that night on the roof… mostly from lack of opportunity, but she could feel the intent against her hip now.

He ran his hand up to her shoulder and pressed on it lightly, but hard enough that had it still hurt she would have cried out. As it was, she felt nothing but a mild twinge and she stared back balefully at him feeling irritation and desire flashing through her almost indistinguishably. She wasn't sure if she wanted to punch him or kiss him. His lips quirked as if he could read her inner debate and enjoyed either idea and she surged forward, crashing her mouth against his not much caring for style, just that she could taste him. His tongue fought back and she nipped and gasped as he started to kiss a line down her neck, the bites just that touch too hard, his grip too tight... and it was exactly what she wanted. In that moment, she honestly wasn't sure she cared if this wasn't real. Because it felt real... and it was exactly what she wanted, who she wanted.

She all but clawed at the front of his pants, shoving and unzipping without a care for the contents until she had her palm wrapped firmly around the already long hard length of him and his surprise was clear as he bucked into her firm touch, groaning against the skin of her throat. Clearly, he'd thought he'd be the aggressor in this. But as usual he'd read her perfectly, read them. They needed this, needed an end to the sexual tension that had built all day and was pulled taut like a rubber band between them, worse now that they knew what it was like to be together than the gentle burn she'd lived with for far too long. Now it was like they'd lit a match and her every desire was set on fire for him at the barest brush of his skin. There was no right time out here, they might die at any minute and she for one wasn't going to lie there bleeding out, knowing that she hadn't grasped every opportunity to be with him now that she could.

"It shouldn't be like this." He grunted kissing her hard and pushing her back into the wall as he shoved her pants down around her ankles in one furious movement with as little delicacy as she'd shown him. She wasn't sure if he meant 'it shouldn't be like this' in general between them, or just this time, but she lost her train of thought as he slid his palm along her bare thigh possessively for a moment, before yanking her leg up and holding it firmly over his hip. Whatever his concerns she didn't share them as she pushed herself up onto her tiptoes to help and hooked her leg further around him to draw him against her nakedness.

"You were thinking what... wine, rose petals, a cosy bed?" She smirked and then gasped suddenly as she felt him pressed up between her legs. He tugged her hand away from his length exerting an expert pressure on her wrist to break her grip, as she felt him bump her clit with the head.

"Angry," He rasped, "We shouldn't be doing this so damn angry." He growled and he slammed into her hard and sharp as she bucked violently crying out at the sudden assault, but she was wet, and had been since she'd been forced to stare at his retreating back and feel the sting of her lip every time she moved her mouth. Again, she was surprised by just how big he was and the thought came unbidden that he was bigger than Pete, and she was right back there at angry too; regretting all the time wasted, time they might not have out here.

She clamped her thighs around his hips and lifted herself enough to slam back down onto him flexing her inner muscles and making him gasp at the sensation as he slammed his fist into the crumbling wall beside her head. She smirked, pleased and full of adrenalin and pulsing need as she rocked again and again over him grinding down and squeezing hard.

"Fuck Sam." he hissed closing his eyes for a minute as he tried to still against her onslaught and she leant forwards to take his ear in her teeth and torment the lobe as he arched beneath her, bucking his hips again until he was taking her hard and fast up against a damn wall with their pants around their ankles, where anything could sneak up on them.

"Fuck me." She breathed and he complied. "Fuck me like we almost died today Jack." she added, the 'like we might die tomorrow' remained unsaid but she knew he heard it when he bit her sharply on the neck as he pistoned his hips into her like he was twenty years younger than she knew he was. And fuck it was good... and she hated that it had taken so long, all that waiting and wanting and it didn't matter one jot now that he was her CO, or ex-CO, as he slid his rock-hard dick in and out of her grasping channel. She dropped her hand between her legs and played with her own clit the little nub hard as she savoured the feeling of his teeth and tongue tracing a path down her chest as he searched for more skin.

"You're not dying on me, you understand Colonel." He rasped his tongue tracing the shell of her ear as he drove deep and hard pressing his pelvis against her furiously rubbing fingers until she was trembling, her knees going to jelly as she pulsed around him. She thought it was telling that the one time they'd come together to fuck each other after the near disaster of a battle, that they'd both slip back into the comfort of the military. But then he'd always known what buttons to push, and her rank, the same rank that used to be his... he seemed to know the secret thrill she'd gotten whenever she heard him call her that. Like it was their secret, like the way his fingers had brushed her skin the barest fraction as he'd pinned his own silver oak's on her. All her life working to achieve something, her career and in the end it hadn't meant anything, she'd never reach full bird Colonel, or General, here and now her rank was pointless... except not to him, and not to her. And that meant everything.

"Yes Sir." That was all it took that one word, that one word she'd always used to convey the depth of her feelings and her admiration for him, and she was coming hard and wet between them both with a gasping moan as it took her by surprise.

"That's it Sam baby." He hummed, then he spun her around, his dick sliding out as he bent her at the waist and gripped her hips tightly to hold her up as she raised her good arm and pressed her hand to the wall to keep her balance. Wordlessly following his non-verbal instructions as always, as he sunk into her again from behind; barely losing momentum as their skin slapped together the sound almost filthy in the still night.

"This is real Sam. Me and you here and now, alive, after all this shit. Just you and me." He told her calmly, his voice straining with the effort as he slid in and out of her with assurance. Seeming to want to brand the words inside her as he pushed hard and deep, burying himself to the hilt. He knew… knew what she needed, knew where her fucking head was still at and the doubts that would have resurfaced and she'd never been more grateful for that. Or turned on, to have a partner know her so intimately. She straightened enough to reach back and wrap her hand around the back of his head, drawing his mouth down to kiss her ignoring the strain of the angle as he increased his rhythm. This was what it was to be alive, to care, even as she hated the life she was being forced to live, because at least with him it meant something.

It didn't take her long to come apart around him again, her whole body felt like a livewire and he'd literally stuck something in her socket, because she was one huge over sensitised mess at his touch, a touch she'd denied herself like this when she'd so desperately needed it. How many battles how much comfort or catharsis could she have gained from this act with him over the years had she not been so afraid to claim what she wanted? She consoled herself with that thought as she gasped and clenched around him, not able to hide her choked sob at the emotion another orgasm evoked, tore free. But at least now he'd know, utterly and completely after this, just how bad she had it for him. Even broken and furious she'd come for him at his barest touch.

She stood bent over and panting hard, silent tears streaming down her cheeks half in relief and half in spiteful fury as her body moved to Jack's rhythm, "Sam." Jack's plaintive plea broke her, she could hear everything in it, all his hopes, his love, his promises that she wasn't alone in this, they could be in this glorious mess of muddled emotions of love and desire and regret together. He grunted loud and harsh as he buried his head in her shoulder and bucked his hips wildly for a moment until she could feel him seeping out down her legs.

He pressed a kiss to the shoulder she'd injured earlier today which now seemed to bear no evidence except a little stiffness and remained there breathing sharply for a moment, his weight against her becoming painful as he slowly released her hips from the death grip he'd had on them. She wondered if she'd have an imprint of his fingers around her hips. She heard his pause, as he dropped to retrieve his pants and the snick of his zip, as she pulled hers up too, not looking back, but she knew what he was thinking. He had that same twisted look of guilt and relief on his face, this was catharsis she reasoned, however unhealthy to take their feelings out on each other this way. It was almost like they were punishing each other for being stupid enough to fall in love, especially out here after all this time, where every day might be their last.

She closed her eyes and covered her mouth in silent shock. Fuck. They were going to get each other killed, this was why frat regs existed between soldiers in a battlefield, because once emotion got in the way you couldn't think straight and make rational decisions. He'd made a bad decision today, one he probably wouldn't have made if he'd had a cooler head because he didn't care so damn much about her.

Her feelings were playing out all over her damn face she was sure as Jack stalked forward and took her face in his hands and kissed her soundly for a few moments, and she closed her eyes almost melting into the sensation as her anger bled away with his touch, when only moments ago it had ignited it. His tongue swept into her mouth conveying everything and she sobbed against it, holding the back of his head and not letting him retreat until she was done with him. He pulled back gently as her claiming of him slowed, dropping a gentle kiss to each wet eyelid at odds with the sharp memory of how he'd just roughly taken her up against a damn wall; until they stood with their foreheads pressed together, just breathing in one another.

"I love you." He declared fiercely unapologetic for it and for the cost it might exact on them both. He pressed one more searing kiss to her neck, biting down just enough to let her know the feeling might linger for a while. Then he was gone, stalking away back to the campfire she could smell burning and the sounds of life she'd been ignoring for the last few minutes. But that didn't matter, because she'd been momentarily startled her hand against her lips in shock.

He'd said it. Actually said the words.

Oh he'd been saying it to her in various ways since they'd first gotten here and a long time before that she suspected, but that was the first time those three little words had actually made it out of his lips.

She felt a sudden flush of colour, she wasn't much of an exhibitionist, except she'd just fucked Jack out in the open with Preston and the damn dog in earshot. It seemed to be becoming a habit. She sighed and ran her hands through her lengthening hair. Preston wouldn't say anything, too polite, but that didn't make their behaviour any less crude. It might be the end of the world but there were still some social taboos if you wanted to call yourself part of civilisation. Then again what other options were there out here and she refused to have another damn thing to regret when it came to him. Besides Jack wouldn't care, just like he hadn't on that rooftop or the two times since he'd slipped his hands inside her pants, stolen moments with his mouth fused to hers. It would have almost been romantic except that it was all set to the backdrop of the end of civilisation. Or God knows, maybe that was romantic.

She let her back press against the wall as she collected herself for a moment cleaning up the best she could. It was something she hadn't considered until that first night they'd spent together, that sex without proper facilities to wash up in was a new fresh hell. It also meant she'd be sticky and stinking of sex when they rocked up at Diamond City tomorrow. She just had to hope that with the general stink of this world and everyone in it, her unwashed state wouldn't even register. She reached for her pack and pulled out the purified water, it was a waste but screw it.

Sam washed up quickly being sparing with the water and emerged from the back of the Red Rocket, not keen to be alone down there too long. She lifted her head and looked up through the gloom as the faintest outline of the highway literally about 30feet high, half in ruin like an ancient spine across the landscape, it was barely visible now, the night had fallen so quickly. But it was there, Diamond City was apparently somewhere under that towering freeway; they'd made it more or less physically intact, but she wasn't certain yet how much of herself she'd left along the way.

Sam climbed up to the roof, where Jack and Preston had set up camp, they'd even managed to get the dog up there and he was curled up in a spot by the campfire, his head in Jack's lap. It wasn't a bad spot, Preston had been right, the top of the Red Rocket was a pretty secure location, even if it was disturbing to hear all manner of shit crawling around beneath them or to see the giant metal rocket sat on the roof inches from them. She'd checked, it was just a statue, but you couldn't be too careful out here.

Sam realised that she was actually feeling kind of homesick for Sanctuary again and the relative security offered by her Sentry Bot, the turrets and the minefield. Nothing said secure like high explosives after all. She was considering that maybe having a robot with them wouldn't have been the worst idea, even if it was just to take the nightshifts. But Codsworth was really the only 'travelling' option and given as he barely shut up and Jack didn't especially tolerate him it had been a non-starter of an idea and the Sentry Bot was too temperamental, and slow.

From the roof sat in the shadow of giant metal rocket painted cherry red she had a good vantage point. But there wasn't much to see through the dark. Out in the distance there were a few campfires and the faint spots of a few electric lights. Sturgess had told her it was the one thing he'd struggled with out here, how dark the nights were, but then he'd come from Vegas and he said that it was still the City that never slept. Its skyline bright and busy as ever. Diamond City she could make out faintly, its muted glow from within the stadium more subtle. She glanced over at Jack who was a study in avoidance, his entire frame tense as he glared into the fire, absently petting Dogmeat. If she didn't have the evidence clinging to her body or imprinted in teeth and finger marks she'd have had a hard time believing that anything had happened down there at all between them. Now or ever. He'd always been good at that, shutting her out, compartmentalising his feelings for her. It seemed this last shock might have forced that behaviour again.

Preston was as she suspected studiously avoiding looking at them both, his feet up on what looked like a wooden deck chair, apparently a few people camped up here enough to have started to leave things behind. He had his rifle in his lap, his clear intention to take first watch. There was a chess board and a little patio table that he and Jack looked to have half heartedly set out.

Sam sighed and decided to bite the bullet. Jack seemed to be expecting her to say something, maybe even still be mad if his wary expression as she approached him meant anything, but at least he wasn't totally able to ignore her as she sat down. And because she didn't want him to be able to ignore her, hated the way it made her feel, she sat down behind him, wrapping her legs around his and crushing her body flat against his back as she wrapped her arms around his chest, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. His hands instantly covered hers and she felt him almost sag back against her in clear relief that she wasn't going to tear chunks out of him. She smiled and pressed a kiss to his neck then his temple as he let out a sigh. His little impromptu rendezvous had done its job, the tension seemed to have bled out of her along with the heart stopping fear she'd been feeling from their close encounter with the Supermutants and yet another brush with death.

"So, I say I love you and I get to be the little spoon?" He rasped and she squeezed where her hand rested on his chest, snuggling closer in answer.

"You love being the little spoon." She muttered, having noted that she'd ended up spooning him as often as he had her these last few weeks.

He shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a simple guy, when a woman offers to wrap herself around you, it would be ungentlemanly to decline."

"Gallant as always."

"I like to think so."

"I love you too." She pressed the words into the skin of his neck, closing her eyes and just holding him close for a moment as she let herself feel the weight of her almost death washing over her. Again, the thought from earlier hit her, all these years together, all they'd been through and survived, despite how vulnerable it had the potential to make them; she couldn't help but think how much easier it would have been if they'd been able to take comfort in each other like this back then.