I thought vampires were immortal, impervious to real harm. Even though I'd seen the scars that criss-crossed Jasper's neck and face, it never sunk in just how he'd gotten them. Even with his stories.
But seeing Edward thrashing in pain felt different. I felt helpless again and I hated it. I'd been bursting with power just moments ago but now, for all of that newfound power, I realized I could do nothing for him. I could only sit there with his head cradled in my hands as Yvonne frantically ran back and forth from the supply room. She was all but a blur. The world was all but a blur as I watched him fight against a pain I couldn't fathom.
Jasper knew and I sensed him trying to calm Edward but it wasn't working.
Shh, it's going to be okay, I whispered into his mind, trying my best to soothe him. Maybe that was how I could help. While Yvonne did what she could with her healing magic, I could do this at least. I could distract him.
I tried to calm my shaking hands, letting them run as gently as I could manage through his hair. The way Ma Ada had done for me when I'd been scared. Getting into his mind wasn't all that easy. It was guarded, his psyche trying to block out what was happening. I pushed through and heard the groan of agony in my ears.
As quick as I could, I constructed the most peaceful thing I could think of at the moment. The landscape of Edward's mind transformed itself into the little park near where I grew up, the park where my mother used to take Kaden and I.
To most people, it was just a plain park, with picnic tables situated next to a playground padded with wood chips. There were swings, a slide, an old merry-go-round that Kaden had slung me off of more times than I could count. It was one of the few crystal clear memories I had from before we lost our mother.
I turned to Edward, who lay in the grass, curled up in his torment. I shut my eyes tight, trying to maintain this peaceful vision and focus on guarding his psyche. As fast I could, I envisioned a bright room made of light around him. The walls of the new shield were thick, impenetrable, blocking out the outside world entirely.
Edward's thrashing slowly started to calm. Good, hopefully this would hold.
I turned my attention back to the mindscape I'd constructed and looked around, my mind frantic as I came back to find Edward missing. Panic set in. How could I lose someone in their own mind?
The quiet, repetitive squeak of metal drew my attention to the swings. There he was. Edward moved slowly in his swing, his eyes closed as the sun warmed him. He was okay. Tears welled up in my eyes. Thank gods he was okay.
I crossed the playground, wood-chips crunching underfoot, and he grinned as I approached. Want to make a bet? He asked innocently, almost childlike. Something about him felt different, human. Fragile. His face glowed in the sun and he squinted, amber eyes trying to see through the light. He nodded to the empty swing next to him and I laughed, enjoying this strange side of him.
Are you challenging me to a swing-off? I questioned, taking a seat. I kicked my legs in time with his.
He shrugged his shoulders, completely at ease. Only if you think you have a shot.
I scoffed. You bet your ass I do.
I kicked my legs as hard as I could. I climbed higher and higher, until my body bounced each time my swing flew backwards. I win! I called, sailing upward. I looked down at him, sticking my tongue out as I flew backward again.
Edward laughed and his eyebrows furrowed as he kicked his legs back and forth, pulling on the thick chains of his swing. In much less time than it had taken me, Edward began to soar. He swung so high that he was almost able to flip over the top.
Bet you can't swing over! I shouted. No one had ever accomplished that feat. Edward's chin jutted out defiantly and he gave one good hmph before sailing over the top of the swing. I watched it in slow motion, his amber eyes dancing with excitement as he peered down at me. And then with a whoosh, he was hurdling back to earth. He laughed, leaping from his swing. I ground to a halt, amazed. Not only had he swung higher than me but he actually flipped over the top.
What's my prize? He questioned, twisting in the air to land in front me. He leaned down to stare me in the eyes. His eyes danced, giddy. His breath came quick from excitement.
I crossed my arms over my chest and pretended to pout, giving into the playful mood. You cheated.
He scoffed, stepping back as he laughed out loud. It was the most free I'd ever seen him. His laughter rang out like music. Like church bells on Sunday. You're always surprising me, he said, his hand clutching his side as he fought back the amusement. I didn't peg you for the sore loser type.
My mouth gaped open. I wasn't no loser. Fine, what do you want?
He stood up straight and tapped his chin for a moment. He looked up at the blue sky dramatically, as if the answer was up there somewhere. Compelled, I looked too. Finally, he flashed a wicked grin and said, at last, A kiss.
My face flushed, my heartbeat somersaulted out of control. Was this real? I looked around at the empty playground. Right here? But, we're in public.
He looked around and laughed. A bet is a bet.
Unsure if he was serious or not, I stepped forward and braced my hands on his chest. I half expected him to laugh, a trick to toy with my emotions that were already confusing enough when it came to him.
But Edward didn't move.
Fine. I stretched, coming on my tiptoes to reach his face. He leaned down slowly, his arms hanging stiffly at his sides. Shyly, so quickly it almost didn't count, I pressed my lips against his.
He grinned. I believe you lost twice, he reminded me.
My eyes widened and I turned away, heat mottling my face. Surely this was some sick game of his, payback for getting him injured. I darted away, eager to create as much space between us as I could.
Oh no you don't! He chased after me. His speed an unfair advantage, I was yanked backward as quick as I'd run away. We fell into the grass next to the playground. Before I could roll away, Edward's arms snaked around my waist and pulled me tight to his chest. Thank you, he murmured. You have a talent for knowing how to comfort me.
I blushed, burying my face in the soft fabric of his sweater. W-What is this? I played dumb, turned on the false derision. Don't tell me you're about to confess your feelings?
He laughed and rolled onto his back. Not a confession. I simply...enjoy your company. Much more than I wanted to, more than I anticipated.
I didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted. I propped myself up on my elbows to look down at him. What's that supposed to mean?
He grinned. It means what I said. I enjoy your company "Daisy Bug."
I narrowed my eyes. I thought you didn't hear me when Ma Ada visited.
I couldn't, he said, sticking to his story. But you keep thinking about her. You love her still, even though she's no longer with you.
He had it wrong. Our loved ones never really leave us, you know. They're here, silently watching over us. Unless you're Ma Ada, then they like to pop in and shake things up from time to time.
He smiled sadly and I cleared my throat, wanting to reach out and see what memory clouded his expression. Instead, I pulled both of us into a seated position. Best two out of three? I asked, racing to the swing set.
We must have played like that for hours. No pasts to haunt us, no futures to drive us mad. The sun faded and, at some point, the mindscape had turned to nightfall. We were sprawled out in the grass, staring up at the stars with the hum of the cicadas in the background. Against my best efforts, I felt my eyelids start to droop. Edward, however, seemed wide awake.
Don't you ever fall asleep? I asked quietly, worried about how I was supposed to keep the mindscape going if I was unconscious. I scooted closer to him, rolling onto my side and cautiously draping an arm around him.
He grinned over at me. Nope. Never. He turned on his side, pulling me back into his chest. Go to sleep, "little bug." He teased.
I rolled my eyes but it was hard not to comply when he put it like that.
Waking up had not been as pleasant as going to sleep. My neck and upper back hurt like hell, and I wondered just how long I'd held Edward in my lap, hunched over him like a crazed gargoyle.
But, as I wiggled, I found myself wrapped like a burrito in a bed. I sat up straight, ignoring the throbbing pain in my back and tried to recall how I'd gotten here.
The bed behind me dipped slightly and a pair of hands began to knead the knots under my skin away. I moaned without thinking, leaning into the cool touch of whoever it was.
Wait...
My eyes fluttered open and I looked behind me to find Edward there, his eyes black as night. He looked worse for wear, but smiled nonetheless. I turned in his lap, my hands fluttering over his body to see if he was okay. "Your arm!" I exclaimed, cradling the left one in my hands. He flinched and I gave him an apologetic smile, releasing it immediately. "How…?"
Yvonne had always been a naturally gifted healer but this...It defied logic. It defied science.
He shrugged. "I've stopped questioning the 'how' of your family's abilities. But I am grateful to Yvonne...and you. You both stayed up for hours, her working every spell and sigil...and you, coddling me again. She even healed Jasper, though...he would have eventually healed on his own." Edward flexed his arm. "It is rather uncomfortable, regrowing a limb, but she assured us it should be fine and that she would come by later to check on her patients."
"How did we get back here? What about Halle?"
Edward turned me back around and resumed his careful massage. Everyone is fine. Give yourself time to wake up first before you start worrying about everyone else.
I glowered. Yes, sir, I said sarcastically. By the time Edward had worked out the kinks in my back, I was putty and found myself naturally leaning backward to rest against him. Unlike in the mindscape, he was not thrilled with this.
He expertly moved himself out from under my body. Healing took a lot out of me, Edward confessed. I should be out hunting right now but...I didn't want to leave.
I nodded. There still were psychotic vampires out there who wanted to either collect or destroy us all. We did need all the protection we could get. He shook his head at my thoughts and leaned back against the pillows.
I frowned. Was I wrong? "If you haven't killed a human since that man, what have you been eating?"
He smiled. "Here? Bobcats occasionally. Mostly deer."
"Is that why your eyes change color?"
He nodded. "Red for human blood and gold for animal...which is the way my father, Carlisle, raised me to be." He sighed. "I'm not a perfect son though."
"And black means your tank's on E?" I asked, mimicking his position.
He smiled, nodding, his fingers reaching to twirl around one of my curls. It was a safe action, his skin miles away from touching my own.
"Does animal blood do the same thing?"
He shook his head. It keeps us strong enough to survive but...we're never truly satisfied, never really sated.
That didn't sound fun. I imagined going through life never being pleased with the food I ate, only eating enough to keep myself alive but never really satisfied. I looked over at him. "When you feed, do you always kill your prey?"
He nodded. "If we don't, our venom will spread and create a newborn."
"Even animals?" I asked, shook. A vision of a fanged Bambi hopping through the forest filled my mind.
He laughed quietly. "I've never considered that."
"What if you didn't bite your prey? Would you still need to kill them? Would it still turn them?"
Edward eyed me cautiously. Why are you so curious?
I looked away from him. Well, as long as you didn't bite me, maybe I could...
"Out of the question."
I looked over at him, surprised by his tone. Here I was offering some Grade A sustenance despite only having known this man for less than a week—even less if you didn't count the time I thought he was going to hunt me down and kill me in my sleep—and he'd said no. I felt a little foolish though. They had explained as best they could about how the bloodlust felt and I recalled Maria's newborns, but since I'd never experienced it myself, I had no real concept of what it must be like.
His expression turned dark, his eyes clouded by memories I was starting to know all too well. I nodded and reached over to pull him closer to me. Though stiff as a board, he actually complied.
Bold, I cradled his head to my chest. This was becoming an all too easy mode to slip into. "Understood," I whispered, my fingers absently through his tousled hair.
My stomach flipped and I was sure he could hear how fast my heart was pounding. Until now, the angsty banter, survival, and physical distance had been enough for me to tamp down what I'd felt but, the truth was, last night terrified me more than I'd thought possible.
"I thought you were dying." I admitted, hoping that would be enough to explain the speed of my heartbeat. "I know you said it takes a lot to kill your kind but you didn't look all that invincible then."
Edward didn't say anything and I was having a hard time getting a read on his thoughts. I hoped I didn't just cross some invisible line in the sand. Or maybe we'd blown so far passed that line that anything else now was icing on the top.
I peered down at him, my fingers still doing their slow procession through his soft, bronze hair.
His eyes drifted closed and I felt him relax under my touch. Like this, it almost looked like he was sleeping. Thoughtlessly, I pressed my lips to his forehead. "For the record, you seem to know how to comfort me too."
There was more silence. Maybe I had crossed a line. Though we'd spent so much of our time in each other's heads, privy to each other's most vulnerable thoughts, we hadn't been this...close before. We'd never been alone this long.
Before I could apologize, Edward's eyes opened and he brought his gaze to meet mine. "Don't move," he warned, bringing his lips to softly brush against mine. Surely, he heard the way my heart ricocheted in my chest, felt the charge that magnetized the air between us, pulled us closer.
Memories of the way he held me in the shower drifted into my head. How desperately I'd wanted to do this very thing then. By now, I had to give up any pretense of disliking this man. Who knew how long either of us would be here or, if Maria got what she wanted, how long I would even be alive.
Refusing to dwell, I let my hand slide from where it played with the bronze locks of his hair, to brush against the edge of his jaw. I committed his face to memory before letting my hand drop between us.
My body pressed tight against his. If our days were numbered, why hold back?
It was Edward who froze, unsure of where my thoughts were headed next.
I kissed him back, aware of the tic that was working in his jaw. It happened whenever something got on his nerves or when he fought to restrain himself. I stopped and leaned back, cupping his face between my hands. Are you afraid? I asked, thinking of how he'd been so free in the mindscape we'd created. It was so at odds with who was in waking life, like he'd been an entirely different person.
Whenever I give in, I hurt people. He sounded quiet. More vulnerable than I'd seen him before. In your vision, I could do no real harm to you, he explained. This is different.
I shook my head. You have never harmed anyone innocent. You have saved countless people with your actions. I haven't known you long but I know that much. Edward Cullen, you are not the monster you make yourself out to be.
He propped himself up on his elbow and stared down at me, his black eyes challenging. I saw gold reflected in them. He wanted so desperately to be the bad guy but I could no longer bring myself to see him that way. Not after seeing inside his mind. Not after he'd risked himself to save my family—soul pact or not. Not after the way he'd comforted me, after he'd been trusting enough to be comforted.
He leaned down and captured my lips with his, the slow burn of desire enveloping his body as he molded his form to mine. The weight of his body on mine pulled a breathy sigh from my lips. His lips trailed along my jaw, careful, his breath on my neck sending goosebumps down my body.
I moaned quietly as his lips found their place just below my ear. As close as we were, it wasn't enough. I wrapped my legs around him, pressing the hardness of his body against the part of me that craved him most.
I expected him to stop, to pull away.
He didn't.
Edward groaned against my lips with my actions, his hand slipping under the thin fabric of my t-shirt to caress every inch of what was hidden. His lips left my mouth reluctantly, making their way down my throat where he paused to inhale deeply. His body shivered, a low growl in his throat. The sound drew my body forward, arching against his.
Some part of me was aware how close to danger I was and my breath hitched. I bit my lip to fight the moan that wanted so badly to escape and reached down to unfasten his pants. I licked my palm and trailed my hand down his body, beneath the fabric of his pants, to curl around the thickness of his cock.
His hissed in pleasure at the sensation, burying his face in the curve of my neck. He shuddered, exhaling as his body curved into the movement of my hand. The wall around his mind was coming down, his thoughts chaotic, his bloodlust and arousal competing. Which would win?
His teeth grazed my neck. Bloodlust. Desire. Blood. Another moan, a breathy sigh that distracted him. Daisy, you don't know what you're doing to me.
Desire seemed to win out as his body slid down mine, leaving kisses as he went. His hands lifted the shirt up and over my head to expose the softness of my breasts. He hungrily kissed his way down my body, pausing to tease each nipple with the deft movement of his tongue.
My eyes fluttered shut, toes curling in pleasure. Is this what you want? He asked, gazing up at me, the desire and frustration written all over his face.
What do you want, Edward? I shot back mentally, too afraid of the weakness in my voice if I spoke out loud. I didn't want to take this from him. Of course I wanted him,but I wasn't the one afraid here.
His fingers hooked around the band of my underwear before tugging. The fabric gave way easily to the strength of his hands. He pulled away the fabric and carefully nudged my legs apart.
I want...He dipped his head to nip dangerously at my hips. His thoughts were scattered, torn between his desire to protect me from the monster he was still convinced he was, and the desire to indulge in everything he found being brought out in him.
He was dangerous and yet, I didn't seem to care. It made no sense to him. There had only been one other person who wasn't family that had accepted him for who he was. As much as he'd loved Bella, he could have never been this out of control. She was too fragile, too prone to disaster.
But with me, he realized. He felt...almost compelled to relax the strangled hold he kept over his actions. Edward opened his mind wider, letting me feel everything he felt. He ached for my body and my blood, only one stronger than the other in this moment.
I wasn't afraid of either. It was his nature, as a vampire, to crave my blood. And as the other night had proven, desire was also part of who he was. I found myself caring for both in a way that was becoming more than just because of our circumstances.
His lips left kisses across my thighs before he slowly licked his tongue up the part of me that craved him most. I bit back a moan, only letting the pleasure ring out in my head. Edward took to the encouragement, pushing all other thoughts away. His tongue moved against my clit with an expertise that made no sense for all the restraint he claimed to have practiced.
My hands reached to knot themselves in his hair. I rocked against him, delighting in the pressure that was building inside my body. I felt pride swell inside him. Edward slowly slipped his fingers inside of me, moving in tandem with the rhythm of his tongue.
My thoughts stopped being coherent. Instead, I gave into the intense, blinding pleasure that was weaving its way through every cell of my body. My hands gripped the fabric around me, desperate to find some anchor to keep me rooted in my body. My own mind expanded; I wanted him to know what he did to me, how amazing I felt. That I wasn't being hurt. I wanted him to know how much I needed him inside of me—which, in this moment, was a desire more intense than anything I had ever craved in my life. I didn't know what it was about this vampire, this man, that made me feel this way.
Reluctantly, I pulled him up from between my legs, my body eager. I wanted to come with him inside of me. Anything else right now felt cruel.
I pushed him back against the mattress, ignoring the way my legs still quivered at his skill. I pulled his shirt over his head, taking a moment to admire the chiseled features that lay beneath it.
The two of us quickly discarded the rest of his clothes and, with another kiss, I straddled him. He stared up at me, watching as I positioned myself over him and slid down the length of his thick shaft. His eyes rolled back, his hands gripping my hips. I held them there, delighting in the way my body stretched around his.
His thoughts had become equal parts pleasure, thirst, and fear. His imagination had missed the mark entirely, falling short of how intense this feeling was.
He fought to remain still, gentle, and I appreciated his effort but that wasn't what I wanted. "I'm not afraid of you," I whispered, gently bringing my nails down his chest. I leaned back to give him a full view of my body as I rocked against him. His hands gripped at my chest, eager.
Edward's groans of pleasure filled my head, mixing with my own. I felt the restraint he still possessed, the fear that still held him back.
There was only one thing that would ease his mind. I summoned more of the power that always waited just beneath the surface. I grinned down at him, my gold eyes reflecting in his black ones. It's okay, I whispered to him, dipping to kiss him. He gave under my touch as my power sent sparks between us. His hands tightened their grip on my hips to thrust my body harder against his.
I took him in deeper and he hissed out loud, his face a mix of pleasure and awe. He pulled me down to him, wrapping his strong arms around my body, flattening my chest against his. Edward met each of my thrusts with unbridled passion. I smirked down at him, feeling the power building around us. Even the air felt thick with the electric charge passing between us.
"Edward…," I moaned in his ear. Gods, how could any of this be wrong?
My body clenched around him and, as the euphoric pressure built, I felt my orgasm inching closer. Edward was so close, his thirst building with his pleasure. Desire and thirst, locked in their constant dance. He was ravenous. His face returned to my neck as if on instinct. He fought to hold back the instinct to sink his teeth into the soft flesh just a breath away from his lips.
Using a fraction of the power I wielded, I delighted in the feeling of the thin line that cut itself into the soft skin of my neck. Daisy, what are you— He pulled back.
Drink only, I warned, bringing his lips to my neck. He inhaled, the scent alone enough to dispel any hesitation. He growled at the line of blood dripping from my neck and gave in. His pleasure and thirst were matched, our bodies pounding against each other in a race neither of us had been prepared for.
I held him to my chest, biting hard on my lip as the ecstasy hit a fever pitch. Edward's name rang out in my mind, the single, solitary thought. He tensed, groaning out loud as his own climax took hold of him. Our minds blurred together in the blinding light of ecstasy as we came, his tongue still licking at the blood that sustained him. I collapsed against him, my body quivering around his.
I fought to catch my breath, delighting in the shivers his tongue sent down my body as he licked and sucked at my neck. He drank from me slowly as we came down from the high of our shared climax, savoring the taste of my blood. Unbelievably, I found myself wanting more of him.
His thoughts were a blur of thirst and lust. Though he fought against fully indulging his thirst for my sake, an ironic testament to just how controlled Edward really could be, his lust was another matter entirely. Now that he'd had me, tasted me, he was insatiable. He found himself wanting more. Dare he take it?
Still cradling me to his body, he flipped us both so that he now had the upper hand. Control.
This time, he was gentler, his hands caressing and committing to memory each line of my body. It felt like Edward. He was powerful, capable of anything, but he was ultimately good. Kind.
Our bodies slowly found a new rhythm. My head swam, hazy from ecstasy and the comfort of knowing I could sate both his hunger and his thirst.
When I came again, I pulled his lips away from my neck long enough to kiss him. I tasted copper on my tongue. He returned my kiss with a groan, thrusting harder as his second climax peaked. I smirked, delighting in his rapture. As my fingertips trailed along his skin, he quivered. To him, my touch felt electric.
Every inch of my body felt alive, with power and with bliss...with pride, I acknowledged, as Edward rested against my body. His eyes were brighter now though, shockingly, they were not the red that came from drinking human blood. They were gold, almost like mine. It was like he had a piece of me and I liked that too much.
Edward's eyes were dancing, wild with excitement. He enjoyed having a piece of me, of being linked by more than just our minds, which had become inextricably linked. He still wanted more. He propped himself up with one hand, the other hooking around my leg. His eyes raked over my body and his face fell, all thoughts of thirst and sex fleeing from his mind. He pulled out, the tips of his fingers gingerly grazing my hips and side. I hurt you.
I looked down and saw deep purple bruises on my hips, thighs, around my waist. They matched everywhere he'd gripped my body. Strangely, I felt no real pain, only a mild soreness that I perversely enjoyed. I smiled, caressing the side of his face. I am okay, Edward. I'm stronger than I look.
Though slow, the power coursing through my body was healing me, fading the bruises from my skin. He leaned back, removing my hand from his face to interlock our fingers. My chest fluttered and I looked away from him, suddenly scared of how much I was starting to care for him.
Without warning, I erected the most rudimentary mental shield I could and escaped to the bathroom adjoining my room, knocking Edward's sideways on the bed as I went. I exhaled, feeling shaky. This wasn't just some carnal fixation.
My hand gripped my chest trying to calm my heart. I liked him. I liked Edward Cullen.
Clearly, I realized, as I looked back over the last few days. I had felt for him the second I had seen him in that bar, lured in by his face but trapped in his aura. I had wanted to comfort him the second we were alone.
I tried to calm down, breathing in and out slowly. I used the restroom and cut the shower on, trying to let the hot water drown out my own scattered thoughts. Nothing was working.
Daisy? Edward's voice was full of concern. The door opened and I saw his shadow hesitate. He couldn't tell if he should leave, if he'd made a mistake, if he should stay. He had no experience to judge this reaction off of but, whatever had caused it, Edward thought, couldn't be good.
Wait, I called, pulling back the shower curtain. Linking his fingers with mine, I pulled him into the shower.
"What happened?" His eyes flitted over my body, checking for more signs of injury.
I let go of his hand and soaped up my washcloth, turning my back to him so that I could think without distraction. How could I tell him I didn't want to hold up my end of our bargain? That I liked him too much, knew he deserved much more than he gave himself credit for?
My heart still thudded in my chest and Edward spun me around, taking the washcloth from my hands.
I can't understand what you're thinking, he said, waiting. Do you...regret…?
"What? No!" I exclaimed, not caring if anyone heard me. I…
What happened to letting go?, he accused. Or does that only apply to me?
Ouch. I recoiled at the accusation and hesitantly met his golden eyes. Fine. He was right. I couldn't expect him to let go if I held back.
So, I let down the shoddy shield around my mind, stepping back in fear. Fear that he would run or lash out because I was going to go back on my word. Or discomfort if this was just physical attraction and bloodlust for him.
I let him see just how frustrated I was, how I thought he'd deluded himself into thinking Bella's murder was his fault, that if he stopped loathing himself for one second to see himself for the powerful and kind creature he was—though, of course, deadly—then maybe he would see that there were things worth living for. That he deserved happiness. Selfishly, I thought that I could help give him some of that peace, if he let me.
I didn't have the same concept of time as a vampire but a decade seemed like a long time to harbor the same goal to not have found some way to make it come to pass. But whatever his reasoning—whether fate kept him from achieving his goal or, I hoped, somewhere deep down, perhaps he didn't really want it—I was glad he was here.
As equally idiotic as that, I was glad he pretended to attack me that day in the square—though...all things considered, there definitely could have been a better way to do it—because I got to meet him when I otherwise might not have. Without meeting him, I'd have been trudging along in the same boring, everyday existence, never having known how close and quick two people could get when there were quite literally no boundaries. All the secrets laid bare, every dark and twisted thought, every insecurity, every joy.
But, most importantly, as selfish as it was, I'd never have known the capacity I held to stand in my own power, the power of those who had struggled so that I could be where and who I was. Ma Ada had said that now I was on the right path, my family walking alongside Edward's. Auntie Jordan had seen us fighting alongside each other. While I initially wanted to rail against it, everything had brought and kept us together. At least, that's how I was choosing to see it.
My head swam and I stumbled back a bit, breathless, as every thought I'd tried to keep hidden came flooding out faster than I could temper them. There was no making this palatable. What if it was too much for him? What if he left?
I braced myself against the shower wall and closed my eyes. Breathe, D. I reminded myself, trying to avoid a panic attack. In...out...in... I repeated the mantra until my hands stopped shaking.
The silence that filled the space between us was only broken by the patter of water hitting the shower floor. I turned around, scared of what I might see in those eyes, on that handsome face of his.
After a long moment, he sighed. I felt him step closer, gently moving the cloth across my back and shoulders. I closed my eyes, letting the coarseness of the fabric sliding across my skin ground me. The slipping path of the soap suds as they slid down my body.
Are you mad? I asked quietly, still afraid to turn around. Edward said nothing, aloud or mentally.
He pulled me against his chest, carefully avoiding pressing too hard as he drug the washcloth across my torso, pausing only slightly at my breasts. His cock began to harden behind me.
Obviously, he started and my heart dropped. He leaned down, his lips resting at my ear. "Let me finish," he whispered, his voice husky. I shivered. I am physically attracted to you, more than is good for either of us. This is new for me. He said, recalling how he'd only ever experienced true desire and love once, and it had been a love built on restraint that had ended in tragedy. I do crave your blood, Daisy. But I was being honest when I told you that I enjoy your company.
That wasn't the same thing. He felt my anger and embarrassment bubbling up, and turned me around to face him. He stepped forward, pinning me against the shower wall. Now he was frustrated.
I have spent nearly 100 years, alternately loathing and perversely reveling in who I had become after I killed my first human. For a moment, however small, I'd found a shred of happiness and, in less time than I'd had it, it was ripped from me. For all of the speed and strength, the power, that this existence has afforded me, none of it mattered when it truly counted, when it came down to saving someone I loved. Edward's eyes searched mine. I spent another decade after reminding myself why I deserved what happened, all while fighting and often failing against the urge to go back to that violent existence. All because it was easier. But…
I swallowed hard and stared at his glistening chest. I was afraid to see what would come next.
"You're not entirely wrong."
I looked up at him, shocked.
Quietly, he spoke carefully and out loud so as to make sense of his scattered thoughts. "Clearly, my resolve was never completely iron. Still, I chased opportunity. Maybe on some level I chased only the options that would fail me, but I still latched onto them…" Edward struggled. "That resolve, it's- it's faltering. Even more than before. Because of you and your reckless tenacity. Because every time I sink into my loathing, you foolishly try to pull me out. No one has ever done that for me."
"You don't see yourself clearly," I responded. "Again, I know, in the grand scheme of your century and some change, the past few days may be a blink of the eye but for me...Because I can see you, because you can see me, in a way I've never experienced before—"
"I'm a novelty," Edward interrupted, trying to convince me. "This will wear off for you as you grow into your power." Even he didn't believe that.
I glared, lifting my chin defiantly. "You don't get to tell me how I feel, Edward Cullen."
He let out an exasperated sigh, raking his hands through his hair. He didn't understand why I was being so difficult. I could have laughed. I'd just bared my entire soul and he still didn't get it.
My eyes narrowed. No, he did understand, I realized. He was trying to give me an out. A chance to run for the hills when all this was said and done.
Yet, he'd just given himself to me, mind and body. It didn't take a genius to know how...traditional Edward was. Despite his physical appearance, he was much older, had grown up in a much different time with a different set of values.
My anger slowly dissolved as I looked up at him. He looked away, seemingly embarrassed at the sudden shift in my thoughts. A smile tugged at my lips. "You like me, too." I said, assured.
He took a step back and shyly covered himself with the washcloth, suddenly aware of how exposed he was. It was comical, really. At first, he said nothing and simply stared at the ceiling, at the shower curtain, anywhere that wasn't my face. Finally, he let out a hushed chuckle. "Yes, Daisy, I like you," Edward shook his head as if the question had even needed to be asked.
I grinned and threw my arms around him. "I knew it."
"Your fate theory is interesting," he murmured, his hands wringing the washcloth at his side. I turned and soaped up my loofah.
"You're a vampire and I'm, well, a witch, but you don't think fate's possible?" I asked him, making quick work of washing the rest of my body. I rinsed, smiling when my question was met with reluctant silence.
Edward didn't answer and I smiled again, pulling the curtain back enough to slip out. After drying off, I shuffled into my bedroom closet. Hanging on the door was the soft, ivory sweater he'd left a few days ago. I pulled it on over my head and slid into a pair of blue, silk pajama shorts.
The shower cut off and, after a few moments, Edward stepped into my room with a towel wrapped around his waist. Beads of water dripped from his hair, traveling in lazy paths down his chest. He beamed. "That looks familiar."
Returning his smile, I lowered my gaze to his lower half, trying hard not to think about what was under that towel. Satisfied with my analysis, I reached into my dresser and pulled out a pair of flannel pants I'd bought from the men's section. They were my favorite cool weather sleepwear. I wasn't entirely sure they would fit since he had me by a good eight or so inches, but he couldn't stay in that towel all day. That would be dangerous for both of us, in more ways than one.
His eyes narrowed, "An old memento?"
My fingers curled around the top of his towel. I gave him a coy smile. "Jealous?"
He didn't answer and I grinned, letting him back into my mind. He cleared his throat and grabbed the pants, pulling them on. They were admittedly a little short but he made them work.
I turned around, intending to dive back into bed when I saw the blood on the duvet. Absently, I touched my neck. There was no wound to be found, but I wondered just how much I'd actually bled. "Is the coast clear?" I asked, tilting my head toward my bedroom door.
He nodded, his expression pained and his body frozen. It looked as if he had stopped breathing. Quickly, I went to spot clean them and toss them in the washing machine. I grabbed fresh sheets from the hall closet and dashed back to my room.
"Sorry," I whispered as I shut and locked my door.
He exhaled and moved to help me make the bed. "That was a very dangerous thing to do, you know." He scolded. "You had no way of knowing if my venom would make its way into your system."
"But it didn't," I reminded him. I trusted him. "Besides, it won't happen again. You almost got killed protecting my family, and you were hurting yourself by not hunting to keep protecting us."
I stretched out on the bed, delighting in the fresh scent of new sheets. I shivered. Edward joined me, pulling the comforter up and tucking it around me. He must have thought I was cold.
"How do you feel?" I asked. His eyes were still the same gold as mine had been. "I thought human blood turned your eyes red."
He contemplated it for a moment. "I've never fed from a human without completely draining them before...and I've also never tasted the blood of a powerful conjurer. I don't have a frame of reference for this." For anything, he thought, anything that came to me.
I felt hot all of a sudden as the blood rushed to my face. Powerful conjurer, I grinned. I liked the sound of that.
"You really shouldn't do that around me," he teased, cupping my face. "Now that I know how delectable you are, I don't know if I have the restraint." His lighthearted expression turned serious again. I had the vague sensation of whiplash, trying to keep up with his emotions. "The silver lining in this is that they look almost the same as when I hunt animals. If they don't look too closely, no one will know it happened."
His voice was tinted by shame. My hands found his and rubbed tiny, gentle circles on them. He smiled sadly. Something dawned on me. "Where is everyone? Almost half the day is gone and no one has said anything." I froze in horror. "Do you...think they...heard?"
We hadn't been that loud, I thought. Minus the hissing. And the occasional moan of unbridled lust. My nipples tightened, growing harder at the thought. A stray bead of water dripped from his hair, gliding down his neck, disappearing on his chest.
I wondered what he would do if I kissed his neck. Would my kiss drive him as crazy as his made me?
He grinned, edging closer. Of course he was ready. I thought I could push through the soreness that was settling into my body for another chance to climb that again.
"Kaden has been in his room playing online with someone named Tyler. The volume was at an unhealthy level...though not intentional, so we should be clear there. JT is still with his family and, as for Alice and Jasper…"
My face blanched, scattering my lecherous thoughts. I hid my face in the pillow. Please tell me they weren't eavesdropping.
Edward laughed. Jasper is an empath, Daisy. He knew before we did.
I shuddered at the implication. Was there no privacy in a woman's own home?
If it's any consolation, Jasper doesn't just sense and manipulate the emotions of others. If he isn't careful, he can take them on. He noted.
I peaked out from under the pillow. "So, like, did he…? Did him and Alice…?" Just what was I trying to ask? My face felt hot again.
He tried hard not to laugh out loud. Kaden may have soundproofed the apartment but, the inside was a different story. Video games to distract him or not, we needed to keep a low profile.
"They left shortly after it became apparent that neither of us was going to stop. My guess is that the atmosphere was too...intoxicating, and they wanted to give us privacy. Besides, your apartment is too small for six people. I believe they'll book an extended stay at your hotel."
I should tell my boss that so he wouldn't fire me.
"Shouldn't we be strategizing or something? We don't know if or when Maria—"
Edward pressed a finger to my lips gently. "Considering how high intensity yesterday was, and how much power your family had to employ, I think taking half a day to recover is warranted. You aren't immortal, you know."
His finger was still pressed against my lips. Well, if we were resting...
My lips parted and I let them curve around his index finger. Edward's breath hitched, his thoughts imagining what it would be like to feel the warmth of my mouth around his—
My stomach growled in interruption and he laughed, moving his hand to pat my stomach. I frowned. Real smooth.
I was rather hungry, I realized.
He looked over his shoulder at the window, at the dark grey turn the skies had taken. "Human needs first. We'll deal with your vampires after."