Are you ready for this?

Recap: Buffy went missing after her fallout with Angel. Angel was looking for her all over the place and Willow told him to check his old apartment and he found Buffy there. She blew her cap and let out a lot of feelings about what happened to her and Angel knew she had a lot of pent up aggression and got her to take some of that out on him which seemed to work.

Thank you so much for the love from the last chapter. It was one of my favourite chapters so far for this story. I appreciate all of the love so far so please keep it coming, I love reading the reviews and seeing all of the follow and favourite notifications.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its original characters do not belong to me

Built Up Walls: Chapter 10: Home

Buffy
"Feel better?" Angel asked.

"No," I stated as I wiped the last of my tears away.

"You were right about what you said," He said.

"No I wasn't," I replied quickly "I know it wasn't you that did all of those things," I added.

"But it was me. Even before I become a vampire, I wasn't a good man... I wasn't even a nice man or much of a gentleman. I did nothing more than spend money I didn't have and whore about with women. I was a bad human and an even worse vampire," He explained.

"You're not a monster though," I told him.

"Not anymore but I used to be,"

"I used to be a normal girl."

The two of us shared a small laugh before I took a look at my watch, it was late and I'm sure my mom was worrying about me. That's all she seems to do these days and I don't want to be the cause of anymore stress on her life. She must hate being my mother sometimes and I don't blame her because it just seems to be drama and violence all the time, so much for moving here to have a quiet life.

I turned to look at Angel and I took notice of his face, he was banged up pretty bad. He had a swollen black eye, cuts above his eye, a split lip and dried blood around his nose.

"Angel I'm so sorry," I said and held on to his face but he just gave me a small smile and a soft look with his eyes "I shouldn't have done that to you. You didn't deserve it and I will do everything I can to make it up to you," Angel lifted his hand and took my hand away from my face and held onto my hand "I'm sorry," I whispered and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Stop saying sorry," He ordered "I told you that I am here to help you however I can and if you taking a swing at me was the best way for me to help you, than I don't mind you taking a few swings at me. I just want to do what I can for you," He said.

"I know the real reason you let me hit you," I stated.

"Is that right?"

"You let me hit you and hurt you because of what I said... about your past... you feel guilty. It was wrong of me to say that to you, you didn't deserve it and I know that you are not that person. I was horrible and I'm so sorry," I wrapped my arms around Angel and hugged him, he hugged my back.

"We should get going," He said as he pulled away from the embrace "Your mom will be worrying," He added.

"Of course." I agreed.

I stood up from the wall and put my hand out to Angel to help him up and he accepted my hand. Angel didn't let go of my hand as we made our way out of the apartment, it felt nice to be holding his hand again and spend some time with him again, just the two of us. I really have missed him.

As soon as we get back to my place, I am going to help him get cleaned up and I'm going to get him something to drink, he deserves it. I can't believe I hurt him like this. I was in the wrong, I know that and I was wrong for throwing his past back in his face. He didn't deserve that, that was his past life and he's not that person anymore. I know how guilty he feels about his past because we've talked about it before in length. When Angel got his soul back from the gypsy curse he did everything he could to make things right or make a difference to people's lives for the better.

I admit that when Angel and I spoke about his past I did become afraid of him and the things he was capable of. Some of the things he told were cruel and evil, not the kind of Angel I grew to know and love. I avoided him for a couple of days because I wasn't sure how to look at him anymore or how to speak to him but then I realised that Angel would never do those kind of things to people ever again and he definitely wouldn't do them to me. I also realised that he didn't have to open up to me like he did, he didn't have to tell me anything about his past and he had the chance to keep a lot of things hidden from me but he didn't.

We walked up the steps to my front door but before I could put my keys in the lock the door flew open and my mom stood there looking relieved. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly, I hugged her back and she walked me into the house, Angel followed and closed the front door. I pulled away from my mom's embrace and noticed Giles, Xander and Willow standing in the living room, they also looked relieved.

"Oh my God Angel, are you ok?" My mom asked as she turned to look at him.

"I'm absolutely fine," He replied.

"Did you run into a bear or something?" Xander questioned with a scrunched up face as he took in Angel's injuries

"Something like that," He answered.

"Are you ok Buffy?" Giles asked me.

"I'm ok. I didn't mean to worry you all, I just needed a little headspace to think about a few things. I should have called or left a note but... I'm sorry," I didn't know what else to say to them.

"The main thing is that you're alright," Giles said.

"If you excuse us, I'm going to help Angel clean up," I stated.

"I got it," Angel told me "Stay here and talk to them," He whispered to me "I'll clean up and come back, I won't be gone long," He added.

I nodded in agreement and he walked off towards the kitchen, I walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Willow came and sat next to me on one side, Xander sat the other and Giles sat in front of me on the coffee table. I noticed my mom was missing... where did she go?

Angel
Reaching up on top of the cupboard I grabbed the first aid kit and put it down on the counter, I heard someone come into the kitchen and thought it was Buffy but it was Joyce, she grabbed hold of the antiseptic and the cotton wool balls for me.

"Buffy do that?" She asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"She can throw a good punch," She commented as she put the antiseptic on the cut above my eye, making me wince "Sorry," She said softly "I know I haven't always been your biggest fan," She stated.

"It's understandable," I replied.

"I want to thank you for being here for Buffy right now. I know she bottles things up and pretends she is fine when she's not but with you she can be completely honest. She really does need you here to help her get through this whole ordeal. I know it's far from over but I feel better knowing that there is one person who she feel like she can open up to be and get comfort from," She finished.

"I don't know if you believe me but I do love Buffy. I love her very much and I doubt I will ever love someone again but when I left, it was to make sure that she got the life that she deserved. A husband and children if she ever wanted them... I also didn't want to be the reason she was ever put in danger. I need to protect her and if me going away does that then that is what I'll do," I explained.

"I know you love her," She told me "I saw it the first time I met you. I saw the way you looked at her and listened to her every word, how you moved when she moved and how protective you were over her. I know she loves you to and I want her to be happy but I can never forget what she went through after you left," She told me.

"There were so many times I just wanted to turn around and come back but I knew that would be selfish of me," I replied.

"When you're done here, Buffy said you would be leaving again-"

"I have to," I stated.

"I'm saying this as Buffy's mother, if you go then do not ever come back," She stated "I cannot keep picking up the pieces every time you leave. I hate seeing her that broken and seeing her like that twice is enough for me," She said "Do you understand?" She asked.

"Loud and clear." I answered.

Joyce dropped the antiseptic soaked cotton ball on the work top and left the kitchen. I heard her talking in the living room with the others, I'm not surprised she feels that why, I would too if I were her. I know how Buffy felt when I left because I was feeling it too but Buffy was lucky because she had her friends and her mom to see her through it but I didn't, I was by myself and I had no one to talk to. I know I have to go when I've helped Buffy and I know I have said that I won't come back but what if I find the cure I've been looking for? I would have to come back for her but I know it would be for good if I was human.

"Angel," Buffy called out as she came into the kitchen "Do you want some help?" She asked.

"No, I'm ok," I replied.

"What did my mom say to you?" She questioned.

"Nothing," I answered.

"I know she did. I'm not stupid, what did she say to you?" Buffy put her hand on her hip.

"We'll talk about it later or tomorrow. Right now, you need to go and spend time with your friends and your mom. They have been worried sick about you all day, let them see that you're ok and then me and you can talk." I told her.

Buffy walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room. I picked up the antiseptic covered cotton wool ball and started pressing it to my face where I was hurt; damn this hurts more then when she was punching me. Maybe it's what I deserve after everything I have put her through.

We all know the time is getting closer; Angel is going to be leaving soon... or is he? Can Buffy convince him to stay? Will he leave in search of a cure? Is there even a cure?

Just a heads up for you loyal readers, there is only going to be another 5 chapters left of this story which is 5 more then I originally intended. Originally chapter 10 was going to be the last one but I got carried away when I was writing so I've extended this story.

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