DECEMBER 12 THURSDAY
Way past one and feeling alright. Although it was cold out. And as dark as it could get. Remus waited for Fletcher by the snow man. Then at last, Fletcher arrived. He was still wearing that top hat.
"Morning!" he said. "How's Bluebell?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen Bluebell in ages."
"I thought as much!"
Fletcher removed the hat and placed it on the ground, brim down. He kept holding on to the hat.
"You might want to hold on to me now."
Remus put his arm under Fletcher's, and Fletcher raised the hat. Next thing they knew they were shooting upwards while a massive bean stalk flooded out. Fletcher hadn't just worn a hat, he had balanced a bowl underneath it, a bowl in which he had planted his jelly bean.
That explained his improved posture.
The stalk reached its full height and the two were dangling over a winter garden. Jelly pods hanged from branches. There was quite a distance to the ground. Remus tied a string of bubblegum to a branch above him and wired the rest around his waist and now he could hoist himself down.
The winter garden became a winter jungle. The frost had reached it before the autumn had run its full course.
Watch out!
Remus looked up.
Splat!
That wasn't Fletcher's untimely death. A huge pile of dung fell from the sky, and Fletcher fell right into it very soon after.
Ew.
"What do you think of my Coprophilus?" asked a very brown Fletcher. "It's bound to catch on because it's soooo useful!"
People were sooo jealous!
"Hey do you want to loot this place or what?" Fletcher asked. "It's ok because the giant who lives here is a crooked stock broker."
"Sure. Hey, do you know what that is?"
"What?"
"The the plant over there that looks like weed."
Fletcher looked at the plant over there that looked like weed. He gasped.
"Space weed!"
He began to stuff his robes with the leaves.
A deep voiced boomed from the nearby castle: Who's out there?
"Oh flip!" said Fletcher. "It's the giant! I didn't bring my triangle. Did you bring your transverse flute?"
"No!"
They stuffed their robes with all the space weed they could and ran back to the stalk.
"How do you get back up?" Remus asked, out of curiosity.
"Pogo-stick!"
Fletcher's wand became a pogo-stick and took him all the way to the top.
That Coprophilus, not so useful after all.