For Fortune and Love

Chapter Twelve

After Tank dropped me off and cleared my apartment, I was a bundle of nerves. I went to the fridge, got a beer and took a long pull. I thought about Ranger and I thought about Harris. Harris raped little girls and sold them to other men just like him. He was careful not to get caught and his victims didn't have any power to stop him. Any that had tried ended up dead. Ranger was right. Men like Harris had to be neutralized. I no longer thought Ranger was working in the gray area. For me, like Ranger, the answers were black and white.

I wondered why I had never seen that before. Maybe it was Morelli clouding my judgement telling me Ranger was a nutcase. I realized most of the work Ranger did that Morelli seemed to think was illegal was actually sanctioned by one of the alphabet agencies. Ranger operated a lot farther in the lines than I use to think.

I unbuttoned my shirt a couple of buttons and looked down at my breast. Harris had left teeth marks, but hadn't broken the skin. Small miracles I guess and I snorted inelegantly.

I missed Ranger. Usually, it was Ranger that took me home after I'd played bait or been a distraction. His calm energy always soothed me. Ranger knew just how to touch me and just what to say to keep me from feeling icky.

No Rex and no Ranger tonight. I was alone in my crappy apartment. I took off my shoes, sat on the couch and turned on the TV to banish the loneliness. I gently twisted the ring on my finger. I had become use to the weight. It felt comforting. I wondered when I'd see Ranger. It felt like there were things we needed to say. My eyes were heavy and I drifted off to sleep trying to think of what needed to be said.

It was about 1:30 AM when I woke up. I knew instinctively that Ranger was in my apartment. I opened my eyes. He had covered me with a quilt and was sitting in the chair watching me. Elbows on his knees.

I smiled at him "hey there" I said and sat up stretching.

Ranger stood and so did I. He came close and looked at my face. "Tank said you were fine. He didn't say that bastard hit you".

"I am fine" I said.

His eyes dipped to my open blouse and I heard him suck in his breath. Shit I'd forgotten about the bite mark.

"Fuck" he ground out. Ranger rarely cursed. This was Ranger's equivalent of punching a wall.

I waved my hand dismissively. Ranger was here. The horrors of the night were forgotten.

His head dipped and he gently kissed my breast. For the second time in the last 12 hours, I felt my resolve slip. I could feel the barely contained rage rolling off of Ranger. I knew tonight had cost him far more than it had cost me.

I tugged his shirt loose and pulled it up over his head. "Let me help you" I said as I ran my hands across his bare chest and down his perfect washboard stomach. I could feel his heart beating in his chest. I told myself I was doing this for Ranger, but I knew I needed this too. I needed Ranger to touch me.

He grabbed both my hands and pulled them away from his body. He shook his head. "I don't have much self-control tonight. I'm not in the mood to play".

Our eyes locked "That's good" I said "because I'm not playing".

I saw the moment his control snapped. He grabbed the front of my blouse and yanked it open. Buttons flying everywhere. Within seconds he had my bra open and my breasts sprang free. He bent and took one taught nipple in his mouth and tugged on it with his teeth. I thought I might come on the spot.

He had the hem of my skirt and pulled it up towards my waist. With one vicious yank he ripped my panties off. In an instant I was lifted onto the counter. Thighs splayed wide. His head dipped between my thighs and I gasp my appreciation. A few moments later, I heard him fumble for his zipper and suddenly with one brutal thrust he was inside me. His hands gripping my hips. I bit his shoulder to keep from crying out.

It was equal parts pleasure and pain. I felt like I was being ripped in two. I recognized it for what it was. Self-loathing, exorcising the demons, and adrenaline burn-off. The reasons didn't bother me. I knew Ranger would never physically hurt me. What terrified me was that he could emotionally gut me.

I couldn't imagine what he had to do tonight. I'd seen Ranger in action before. Once I'd been thrown off a bridge and he'd jumped in to save me. When he pushed us to shore, I had been shaking uncontrollably. He told me it was normal. It was just the adrenaline wearing off. Ranger's heart rate wasn't even elevated. If he could jump off a bridge and not be affected, what had he done tonight that resulted in this reaction? That is what terrified me.

I realized I wasn't so different from Ranger. I would do a hundred jobs like Harris no matter what it cost me if it meant getting predators off the street and protecting innocent victims. I accepted Ranger for who he was. All his parts, good, bad and gray.

I did the only thing I knew how to do to show him. I wrapped my legs around him and held on for the ride.

When Ranger was finished, I sensed the moment he realized what he'd done. I felt his body go tense and he started to pull away from me both physically and emotionally. "Sorry" he said.

I tighten my legs around him and pulled him firmly back inside me. I took both hands and cradled his face. "No" I said and pulled his head down to my chest and wrapped my arms around his back and began gently stroking his spine. At first, he was tense, but then I felt his body start to relax. He wrapped his arms around me and melted into me. We stayed that way for a long time.

Finally, Ranger raised his head and looked at me. "I never wanted you to see that side of me" he whispered hoarsely.

I shrugged. "I accept all of you" I said simply.

"My darkness doesn't scare you?"

The reality was I was terrified. Not of him but for him.

"No" I said "Not even a little". I brushed my lips gently across his lips. At that moment there was a fundamental shift in our relationship. I could see it in his eyes. I didn't know what it meant. I just knew things were never going to be the same between us.

He bent his head and gave me a proper kiss. Gentle with just the right amount of tongue. He lifted me off the counter and I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me to the bedroom and he used his mouth, hands, and his most perfect part to bring me over the edge multiple times. After we were done, he gently stroked his hand down my body until I fell asleep.

I woke up in the pre-dawn hours. Ranger was standing beside the bed dressed.

"What time is it" I asked squinting at the clock.

"Five" he said and I felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat down on the edge. "We didn't use condoms last night" he stated matter-of-factly.

I'd done some quick calculations last night and while it was possible, it wasn't probable that I'd gotten pregnant. "I'm on the pill" I blurted out. Well at least I would be after I drove to the clinic this morning and got Plan B and a prescription. I don't know why I lied to Ranger. He probably had my cycle tracked better than I did. It was just one more burden I didn't want him to have.

He looked at me for a couple of beats. "Good" he said "I like it that way with you". I felt his warm hand settle low on my belly. I thought it was possible he was trying to divine if I was with child, but I thought it better to just be casual. "You know if something happens, we will figure it out together" he said in the same matter-of-fact voice.

This felt too real and too weird. Ranger was in my bedroom talking about getting me pregnant. I did the only thing I could think of. I let the quilt slip and my breast pop out. Ranger's eyes cut to my breast and turned dark. He dropped his head and kissed my nipple. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"No" I said "but I am trying to make you late".