~Chapter Thirteen~

True Form

The next morning Rose was awakened by a throbbing headache, and pain all over her body so intense she wasn't sure she could actually get up and move ever again. Every muscle in her body was tender to the touch, especially where her new set of large avian-styled wings sat on her back in between her shoulder blades. Groaning, she closed her weary eyes and didn't want to wake up.

Sometime during the night, she found herself giving in and crawling into the large king-sized bed, which had been offered to her for her use, and instantly collapsed on it in exhaustion. Dealing with all of her transformation and the horrors of Kevin, Hela, and Demetrius, as well as the Death Curse, last night, was almost too much for her to process. She was also plagued with the usual nightmares about Brooklyn and was wracked with the torment that he was dead. Then, to make matters worse, she didn't know how to properly sleep with wings. All night, she tossed and turned, and her body temperature was going haywire from ice-cold to blazing hot. She was in pain, and no position of sleep seemed to offer her any relief.

Lying on her side she found the most comfort, but her wings would catch underneath her clothing and get caught, or her feathers would brush against the silky smooth inner sheets and then would send a signal to her brain through the nerves. This happened all night long and kept her up. Sighing out heavily, she turned in the soft sheets, groaned, and tugged the soft pillow for her to hold as she laid half on her side and halfway on her stomach.

Automatically, she reached a hand down and cupped her small bump while keeping her eyes closed. She was exhausted and wanted to stay in bed all day long, but she had work to do. Tonight was supposedly a grand celebration for her return to Hel, hers and Kevin's engagement, and just another opportunity to break her spirit down and force her to endure torments from Kevin and Demetrius. But until then, she needed to try to find some time to be with Hela and start her plan.

Just then, a sudden twinge of pain jolted through her body.

"Ow." She gasped to herself, forcing her heavy eyes to open and look down at the other source of pain. It wasn't in her back or near the wings, but this time, it was her right wrist where Demetrius sliced a knife to offer her blood up for the Curse. Hela made sure that it was bandaged up tightly, but it wasn't doing a good enough job. The once white bandage was wet with bright red blood.

Not realizing that she was also covered in moisture, she gasped again, sat up on her side, and saw to her horror that blood was still oozing out, ever so slowly, making her cream sheets wet and stained with blood. Her face paled and stomach churned in nausea, and it was no wonder why she was feeling extra-lousy; she had been slowly bleeding out all night long.

"Shit."

Pushing the blankets away with her legs, she sat up straight and went to get out of the bed, only to keel over and cry out desperately. Tears formed in her eyes and spilled down her face. The pain in her back was horrible. Moving, or the thought of dragging those wings around might as well be a torture session for her, but still, she had to try.

Holding her wrist to her chest to give pressure to the wound, she slowly and stiffly lowered herself down to the hard, stone floor, onto her knees. She felt ridiculous, but gravity's pull on her wings was something she couldn't comprehend enduring at the moment. She feared that if she stood up then the weight of the wings would peel her skin right off her back. Crawling one-handed towards the bathroom, gasping and groaning way too loudly for her own pride, she made it halfway before she became so dizzy, the entire room spun around like a merry-go-round and she had to stop.

Groaning, she slowly slid back down onto the ground and laid on her side, feeling unsure which scenario was worse. The pain in her back, or the wound from her wrist, which was still bleeding through its bandage. The only good thing was that she wasn't around Kevin, the Draugr, or Demetrius at this moment. They seemed to make everything worse for her, no matter the situation.

Taking deep breaths to slow her dizziness, she grit her teeth, clenched her fists and forced herself to stand up. She had to find a first-aid kit, a belt, or anything to help stop the bleeding.

When she stood, a scream escaped her lips at the tugging sensation from her back and excruciating pain shot through every muscle. Amazingly, her skin didn't peel off to the floor, but there was no relief for the pain she was feeling. It was sharp, and every muscle in her back was screaming for relief, while her nerves shot down her wings- which, in itself, was a new sensation and a new body part she wasn't used to having.

She only got a few feet forward when she leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom, crying and gripping anything to keep her from falling down. Too much- the pain was too much…

"Milady Rose?" A familiar female voice asked in concern, with the sound of the door shutting to her room.

"Ilana! Oh, thank goodness you're here… " Rose choked out, allowing gravity to pull her back down to the floor. She turned and instantly her handmaiden and friend had crossed the room and was now kneeling in front of her. Ilana was still wearing the same green, see-through outfit as last night, her hair was done the same, but her light green face was full of anxiety.

She looked over Rose with wide-eyes, then… instead of fear… compassion and hurt filled her eyes.

"Milady Rose!" She whispered. "What have they done to you?"

"This… this is my birth Fae form," Rose replied through her tears. "Lord Demetrius shed my human body when he took my blood for the Death Curse." She gasped out in pain and grimaced suddenly; curling up against the pain.

"Milady?" Ilana asked, her eyes wide with worry.

"I'm in so much pain Ilana," Rose whispered as tears streamed down her face, and nausea twisted in her stomach. "I… I think I'm going to be sick."

Sitting with her back against the doorframe was agony, so she forced herself to lie back down on her side; and Ilana's hand reached out and helped her. She then quickly stood up, grabbed a pillow, a garbage can from nearby, as well as a blanket, then was back by her side. Ilana quickly placed the pillow under her head, a waste bin near her head then was jumping up again.

"We've got to get your pain under control," Ilana said quickly. "As well as that bleeding. Why has Lord Demetrius left you like this? I… I don't understand! Why would they leave you with a burning Fae Fever?"

"A what?" Rose asked blankly.

"Fae Fever. It is an illness that comes in the first year that a Fae youngling is born." Ilana then paused and shook her head. "I… I still don't understand. Why would the Lord risk your health now? Surely they knew you would become ill with it!"

"B-because he's a bastard and doesn't really care about me, now that I've given my blood share to the curse. Simple as that." Rose said weakly. "H-he thinks that I have the power to heal myself."

Ilana stared at her in disbelief, then scoffed, "No amount of power will be able to be yielded when you are this injured." She then reached her hand out and felt her forehead. "Gods above, you're burning up."

As if right on cue, Rose suddenly started to feel chilled, and when she touched her own hand to her own head, it made sense. Her skin was as hot as the fire now burning in her veins.

"Goody." She grumbled. "I've come this far only for a foreign illness to take me."

"No, it won't," Ilana said calmly. "The Fae Fever isn't normally fatal, milady, though it can be if not treated properly. But that's the same with any illness. Your body now has to adapt to the wings and magic, but you may not have the immunity for it, as younglings do. Because of that, the disease will be a lot harsher for you since you are an adult and used to be a human."

"W-what causes i-it?" Rose asked, shivering, which made her pain even worse.

"Your muscles and bones are creating more calcium and cartilage to support your heavy wings, and the magic pulsing through you will only aggravate that process. Your magic especially, since it's from Hela and Demetrius. Fire literally lives in your veins now."

Ilana grabbed a rag from the bathroom, wetted it with cold water, then came and placed it on her forehead. "There are remedies to help with the symptoms. I'll go and grab those, but unfortunately, dealing with the rest of the symptoms is something you're just going to have to ride out. I'm sorry."

"Joy…" Rose grumbled.

"Stay here," Ilana said. "Once I help you with the fever and the pain, then I'll re-dress and clean your wound so you don't keep bleeding, which isn't helping your illness at all. After that, a bath, food, water, and rest… I think you'll find yourself a new woman here in a few hours."

Ilana then quickly stood up and went to collect the items for her. Rose watched her go and smiled to herself. She was immensely thankful for her new friend.

"Ilana?"

Her handmaiden turned at her voice. "Yes, milady?"

"Thank you," Rose whispered, truly meaning it. Without her here to help, she wasn't sure how much longer she would have survived, especially with an illness foreign to her.

Ilana's eyes softened and bowed her head softly.

"You're welcome, milady," she whispered, then walked through the shields and left the room.

Ten minutes later, Ilana returned with a variety of different potions and strange remedies. Rose was shivering on the floor, even while snuggled under a blanket. She went from hot to cold then back to hot. Her body was chilled from the sweat glistening on her skin.

Ilana knelt down next to her and immediately got to work.

"I need you to stand, milady Rose. I'll help you, but let's get you back into bed."

Nodding, Rose allowed Ilana to help her stand, crying out at the pain of her wings. Ilana gently placed her arm underneath them, stopping gravity from pulling them down, and slowly guided her back into bed.

When she saw the blood all over her sheets, however, she gasped and groaned quietly.

"Oh…"

"Sorry. Here. I'll take care of it." Rose said wearily and raised her hand to magically clean it up, but then Ilana grabbed onto her wrist and stopped her.

"No, don't use your magic. Save your strength." Ilana said, then carefully set Rose on the ground again. "I'll quickly clean the sheets up. Are you okay to stay here for another minute?"

Becoming delirious, Rose only moaned in response, instantly curling up and shaking uncontrollably. Minutes passed while Ilana quickly changed the sheets on her bed, but then Rose found herself lying down on the soft mattress with blankets all around her for warmth, instead of on the ice-cold stone floor.

Ilana then instantly got to work. She began spreading a liquid that smelled of Eucalyptus mint and ginger onto her upper chest, which was soothing for Rose to smell, both in pain and with her nausea.

"Drink this." Her voice suddenly instructed.

Half-asleep, Rose obliged and allowed her to bring a cup to her lips, and obediently, she drank down the same strong liquid that was being placed on her chest. It was warm and tasted like mint and ginger tea, but as it went down into her body, she instantly felt every muscle relax. Moaning in relief, Rose laid back against the pillow and closed her eyes in exhaustion.

Minutes passed and Ilana kept working quickly to get her fever down, then she carefully worked on Rose's cut.

Half-awake for all of it, Rose deliriously let Ilana help heal her, trusting her handmaiden completely. Time passed by as she dozed off and when Rose opened her eyes again, her wrist was re-wrapped and no longer bleeding, but Ilana was still padding her head, neck, and chest with the soothing liquid.

"Alright milady." She said quietly. "I need you to lie on your stomach. I'm going to help relax your wings. It'll unfortunately hurt a great deal at first, but trust me, they need to be moved around and stretched. I've fixed your cut and given you herbs that should help your fever, but these other remedies will help with the pain."

Grimacing, Rose did as she was instructed and laid on her stomach. Clutching her pillow for something to hold and scream into, she waited for the excruciating pain and when Ilana moved her long hair away from her back and placed something cold upon her back, the first sensation of contact was brutal. Instantly screaming into her pillow and grasping it tightly, Rose endured the intense pain of touch, but Ilana kept working on her wings, and over time, the pain faded. She continued to apply the soothing oils onto her back and used her hands to massage the sore muscles around her shoulder blades.

Each stroke of Ilana's hands was followed by unbelievable pain and tenderness, but after a few seconds of her hands pushing the muscles and breaking them up- the pain began to ease up, leaving Rose more relaxed and in relief. It was strange having someone touch her wings… or the very fact that she even had wings now, but she was thankful for Ilana for knowing what to do; because she clearly wouldn't have thought to do any of this before.

Ilana wet more of the warm oil in her hands, then gently took care of the length of her wings. Rose gasped at the initial pain, but Ilana carefully worked the pain out from her back, from the inner cartilage of her wings, and then moved the entire wing around to break up the stiffness.

Rose gasped out a breath of relief, now completely relaxed and enjoying the sensations. They stayed in silence for a few minutes and Rose was sure she was asleep at this point, but then she heard her handmaiden speak to her.

"Are you feeling better, milady?"

"Yes, thank you so much," Rose whispered in her pillow, half-asleep now.

"You're very welcome," Ilana said softly, now taking in the other wing and working out its kinks. "When I'm done with this one, I'll leave you to get some rest for a little bit. When I come back, then I'll massage them again, and bring food. You need to eat some food and take your prenatal pills soon."

Rose moaned an incoherent answer into her pillow, making Ilana giggle quietly, and let the soothing oils take her into the sleep that she truly was needing.

"Get some rest."

Ilana didn't have to tell her twice. The world around Rose suddenly faded, and she finally fell into a dreamless and pain-free sleep.

Rose woke up what could have been days later, and for the first time in her time of being in Hel, she actually slept deeply and very well. It felt productive; she felt stronger, more connected to her body than ever before, and her mind wasn't fuzzy.

Not only that, but no nightmares about the night she was taken away from her Clan plagued her mind, nor did she think about her dead mate. It felt like an act of betrayal, but for her, it was relieving to not think about for once. However, a part of her now wondered how long that would last before guilt and shame snuck into her chest, making breathing near impossible. She would soon find out, she was sure.

Yawning and breathing deeply, Rose stretched her body, which was no longer as sore as it was before, and for once she was able to lie on her back. The wings pressed against her shoulder blades, and though it wasn't the most comfortable position, it was doable to do now. Before, if she laid on her back at any time, she may as well stabbed herself with a sword. The pain would have been the same.

Blinking and coming to, she felt a presence near her with her magic and heard soft rustling of various things, and knew exactly who it was before seeing her. Looking over, Ilana was standing near her bed, preparing what smelled like a pot roast, potato, and vegetable hot soup, with bread and a dessert. Sitting up, Rose's stomach growled loudly, so loudly, that Ilana turned around to look at her and smiled.

"Oh, good, you're awake! How did you sleep, milady?"

"Better than I've ever slept here, I'll tell you that," Rose answered, rolling her sore, but pain-free neck and shoulders around. "What time is it?"

"Midday."

"Damn…" Rose whispered, shaking her head slowly. "I slept most of the day."

"You needed it," Ilana said with a smile. "How are your back and wings feeling?"

Rose sighed and sat against the bed frame, smiling at her friend.

"Sore, but a lot better than before. I can sit back against them for once without wanting to vomit, or scream in agony. I think that stuff you gave me worked miracles."

Ilana giggled and nodded. "Yes, herbs from nature are a wondrous tool in helping relieve pain, inflammation, and other ailments." She grabbed the tray of food, walked over, and placed it down on Rose's lap. "Here's some food, I thought you would be hungry."

"You… are… an angel, Ilana. Thank you, yes, I'm starved." She said, immediately gathering the utensils up and plunging into the hot soup. At first bite, she swore she could have melted and died right there.

"Oh my goodness," she moaned, closing her eyes and savored every bite. "Ilana… this is so good." She then opened her eyes, reached out her hand, and grabbed onto hers. "Thank you for taking care of me. I don't know what would have happened had you not come."

"It's my duty to serve you," Ilana said, squeezing her hand back. "But you are also my friend. It has been an honor to help out. I'm glad you're no longer in pain." She then reached her other hand up to her forehead. "And your fever broke. Good. I think that perhaps the Fae Fever might have already run its course, believe it or not."

Rose took another bite of soup with a chunk of bread and spoke dryly through her bite.

"I believe it."

Ilana grinned, then handed her two prenatal pills.

"Here. Feed that baby extra goodness as well."

Rose swallowed her bite, took the pill from her and drank them down with a large drink of water, and then kept going back to eating her food. She felt bad eating in front of Ilana, but she was ravenous. She threw up a lot of her dinner the night before, and with all that she had endured, she needed to start keeping her food down because it was clear that her unborn child was taking all of the nutrients from her body; leaving her to run on empty.

When finished, Rose leaned against the bed frame with eyes closed and held onto her small round belly. She then looked over at Ilana, who took the food away from her silently.

"Ilana, thank you," She whispered again. "I cannot even begin to describe how much you've helped me out. What can I do for you to repay you back?"

Ilana smiled at this. "Oh, just having your friendship is payment enough, milady Rose. But…" She paused and began to set out a set of clothing for her from the side armoire dresser. This time, it looked to be another gauzy dress that looked to barely have enough fabric to cover her female assets. Rose groaned, and tried not to look disgusted as Ilana continued to speak to her with a smile, "freeing us all from this place sounds like a nice place to start."

Rose ignored the clothes for a moment, then smiled back at her, "I know. I'm working on it," she then stared back at the dress being placed out for her, and could no longer ignore it. "Um… Ilana…?"

"Yes, milady?"

"Is there any way that I could wear… oh, I don't know, something less… sleazy?"

Ilana looked surprised. "Whatever do you mean?" She asked, glancing down at the dress. "This is beautiful and will look stunning on you."

"Thank you." Rose chuckled nervously. "Since I'm supposed to be Kevin's entertainment tonight at the grand celebration, God only knows what that will mean for me, I would really like to wear something casual for now. Maybe something with... pants?"

"The celebration begins in just six more hours, milady. We best bathe and prepare you for that."

"I know," Rose said. "We can get ready, but it's not until nighttime. Until then, I just want to be comfortable, I suppose. If… if that's alright with you, of course."

Ilana stared at her for a few moments, then smiled and put the black dress back into the large armoire dresser against her wall.

"Of course, milady. I've just the thing for you. But first…" She paused, held out a hand for her to take. "A bath. It'll help loosen those wing muscles up even more."

Smiling back, Rose took her hand and got out of bed.

Minutes passed, and Ilana stayed in the bedroom as Rose bathed and used the facilities. When clean and fresh, she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and came out feeling brand new. On the counter, Ilana had placed out a loose black tunic shirt with a black leather vest and black leather pants with shin-high boots for her to wear.

Smiling to herself, Rose got dressed in the get-up, and then looked at herself in the mirror. She had to cut out two holes to allow her shirt to fit, but other than that, she looked like an elven, Fae warrior, or a character straight out of a true fantasy book, and it was amusing to her. All she needed was a bow and arrow, and a sword to make the look complete.

At this time, Ilana made her way in knowing that she was dressed, and smiled at her.

"How does this outfit feel on you?"

"Much better," Rose replied, looking at herself in the mirror and not bothering with any makeup. She still wasn't used to the glowing amber yellow eyes, which looked like live-fire, but she had to admit it to herself; despite her different appearance, she was still beautiful.

"I don't doubt that Lord Demetrius wants his wittle princess to look like a helpless damsel, but I would rather be able to be comfortable in my own skin, and move around comfortably without worrying that my breasts will fall out of some gossamer, piece of crap, see-through cloth."

Ilana laughed hysterically at this, and it sounded like wind chimes to Rose, making her suddenly recall another member of her clan who had a similar laugh.

Akira.

Brooklyn...

Just then, the hurt, shame, and guilt she was expecting to feel sometime since waking up, suddenly crept back up into her chest. Recalling Akira's name made her instantly think about all of the other Clan members… her family, and how much she desperately missed them. Thinking of them then made her automatically think about Brooklyn, which she might as well have stabbed herself in the chest. The instant pain she suddenly felt, would have been the same.

She shut her eyes tightly and focused on her breathing as her chest tightened up as she was faced with the harsh reality of her life. Then the damning thoughts came that she hated almost more than this world itself…

Two days have passed in Hel, which equated to two weeks in the real world… and already… so much has changed.

"Milady?" Ilana's soft voice brought her out of her woes suddenly. Rose kept her face hidden from her to hide the tears, but they weren't lost to her handmaiden. Ilana grabbed the brush, cleared her throat gently, and then asked, "May I?"

Knowing what she was asking, Rose silently nodded, and Ilana instantly began doing her hair in silence; brushing gently through her long, damp hair.

"You know…" She said quietly after they sat in a few minutes of silence. "I've always thought of grief as the ocean because it comes in waves. Sometimes those waves are small laps on the shore, quiet and serene almost… but always remind you that it's there, or they come crashing down upon the shore violently, reminding you of how powerful the vast ocean can really be… but either way… you have to learn to swim in the water." She paused, then whispered, "Rose… you don't need to hide your grief from me. You have to allow yourself to grieve or else you'll drown in it, and I'm here to tell you that when I'm here, you'll always have a friend, a support system, and a safe haven to be yourself. If not, you'll die in this place."

Unsure if this was supposed to make her feel better or not, Rose could only nod as tears filled her eyes. Ilana then began to start to braid her hair, all the way down her back in a single braided line.

"Grief is also an expression of love, milady Rose," Ilana continued softly. "It is a price you pay for loving someone so dearly… so intimately… and so deeply, that when death takes them away, the love and grief will forever stay with you. It'll forever be a part of and change you; as will your departed loved ones. In this case… your Gargoyle mate."

Tears streamed down Rose's face, in full grief now. She hadn't thought about Brooklyn for a few hours, and it scared her. Demetrius said that this place would eventually tear all memories away, and for a moment, she felt that it did, and she couldn't allow that. She would rather feel the pain of his loss, knowing that she had him in her life, than to forget about the love they had at all.

Ilana suddenly cupped her jaw from behind her and lifted her face up so she could see her from the mirror. Rose let out a loud sob, unable to keep it bottled in, and tears filled Ilana's soft, misty green eyes.

"No matter what form you take, no matter what horrors you see here or experience… you must remember that the great love that you had with your mate was real," Ilana said softly. "Demetrius can take away your body, your memories, and even your very life and soul… but he cannot take away your human heart, Rose, and the love that will forever live within it." Ilana then came over to face her and grabbed onto her hands. "Rose, you know this already, I can see it in your eyes… but I can also see that I need to remind you of this fact. Your mate, and the love you two shared, has left a mark upon you. A mark… so powerful and intimate, that is only found deep within your heart and soul; forever to be connected to you. Just remember that, Rose. No matter what."

Tears streamed down Rose's face as Ilana then gently touched her face and used her thumb to wipe them away. "The other thing to remember is that you are not alone in this awful place, there are many good souls who are counting on you to free us all from the chains that have kept us here. Third, from what you've spoken about your mate… I do not believe he has moved on without you. That very idea is absurd… and the furthest thing from the truth. Don't you agree?"

Still shaking from sobbing, Rose wiped her tears away and nodded her head.

"Thank you for your words, Ilana. And yes, I do believe you… I know Brooklyn still loves me and won't ever leave me, however, it's hard to see that right now."

"I know it is, milady. But just because you can't see it right now, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist anymore."

"I know," Rose said quietly, looking down, and decided to tell her about their bond. If anyone would understand it, a nature Nymph would. "But... the thing about myself and Brooklyn that most don't know was that he and I had a true soul-connection to each other. A bond… stronger than any magic I've yet encountered." Rose looked away from Ilana and closed her eyes; reminiscing the first time she met Brooklyn and all of the special times they had together, and let those memories take her far away for a small moment.

"We could hear each other's thoughts as Demetrius can, but it was by pure and unselfish motives. We could also physically feel each other when we were near to each other, by tingling in our limbs and fingers, and when we touched…" She broke off and shakily laughed, "... Oh my goodness, when we touched, Ilana, the stars aligned into cosmic perfection. When we touched, lightning would strike our souls, and at the same time a light… so bright and pure, would explode through our hearts, souls, and minds; and they were synchronized into one. From the very first moment I felt those feelings and laid my eyes upon his… I saw goodness and kindness in his beautiful dark brown eyes. And despite our differences, I knew he was mine, and I was his. Forever to be his mate and wife, and he would be my mate and husband. And… that was it. Just like that, we fell deeply in love, Ilana, and we have been inseparable since then…" she then broke off. Anger and intense grief filled her heart again, so hard, she could no longer breathe. She looked away from her, and forced in a ragged breath. "That is… until two nights ago."

Ilana gently touched her hand and offered comfort.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Rose," She whispered. "It sounds like your marriage to your mate was magically blissful and completely beautiful."

Rose sniffed. "It is... it was…"

"It also sounds like Allfather Aesir gifted you with a rare soul-bond out of true love," Ilana whispered, mesmerized by her words. "That type of bond is the rarest and strongest force upon this Earth, Rose. If what you say is true, death and its chains cannot even stop that kind of a bond. Your mate is out there somewhere, looking to forever be with you Rose… I know he is."

At this, Rose slowly looked down; mourning.

"I wish I was as sure as you are…" She murmured shakily. "Brooklyn was protecting me and our child from Hela when she stabbed him. He was dying when I came through the portal, and when I passed through, our bond instantly went dark and quiet. Which has never happened before.

I didn't know what that meant, but when Hela told me that he died… it made sense why I felt a part of me die as well." She paused, then took a shaky breath. "I blame myself for his death, Ilana. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have died… he would still be out there somewhere, possibly searching and coming for me, to bring me back home. I… I now have no choice but to accept that he's not going to come, and if I am to escape this place, then I have to do it myself."

Ilana looked thoughtful and stayed quiet for a moment, then said, "Have you ever considered that… perhaps… your mate hasn't died? Hel has enchantments that mask those types of bonds and magicks, which make them appear dark and empty. That's perhaps why you felt your soul darken the moment you entered Hel, and your bond to Brooklyn went silent. Those are the enchantments at work, milady, and I don't know about you, but lying to you about your mate seems like something Hela would do to ensure that your soul darkens to their will-"

"I really cannot think about it." Rose suddenly interrupted, looking up at her with intense eyes. "I'm sorry, but I cannot give myself false hope that he's alive, Ilana, because if I'm wrong, and I allowed myself to hope again, I would not survive going through that grieving process all over again. I have to just keep going."

"But without some form of hope, milady, you cannot do anything you wish to accomplish here," Ilana said softly. "Hope gives you strength, and strength keeps you focused-"

"I do have hope that I will get out of this place and see my Clan, as well as the night sky again," Rose whispered. "Once I see the heavens, I know that I will feel my mate's love all around me. I'll feel it in the simple moments that I let myself just… be… and he'll rain his love down upon me."

"And… if he's alive?"

Rose froze, closed her eyes briefly, and took a deep breath to try to consume the pressure on her chest, before looking back at her.

"If my husband is somehow still alive… then Hel will still shake with my vengeance for separating us, and perhaps he'll fight by my side to make it happen. I... will also be able to live and breathe properly once again." She then paused briefly. "And just so you know, I do hope for him to somehow still be alive, Ilana, but I know that is not my reality. With my soulbond in complete darkness, I cannot give myself false hope. It's much too painful to endure if I do allow that…"

"I understand," Ilana said, nodding and smiling sadly. "You're strong, milady Rose. Much stronger than I ever will be; and I admire you for all of that strength and courage. I just hope for your grief and pain to someday subside. It won't ever go away, but I hope you someday find peace."

Rose smiled sadly. "It won't for some time, Ilana, but thank you all the same. You are my only friend here, and that gives me the strength to keep fighting for your protection. As long as I am still needed, then I can keep going."

"Thank you," Ilana said. "You're my friend too, and you almost feel like a sister, to me. Family."

"That's because we are," Rose said, opening her arms to hug her. Ilana instantly grinned and squeezed her tightly. They hugged for a few seconds and didn't hear the door open, or hear the magic alert them until the very last second.

"What's going on here?"

They both gasped and quickly broke their embrace to stare, with wide-eyes, at Hela, who was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

Rose did a quick look over at her biological mother who was wearing a very similar get-up as her. She wasn't in a revealing dress but was dressed in black leather pants, tall black boots, and a corset top with a tunic, which accentuated her large and perky chest. Her waist-long jet-black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and was surrounded by a thorned headpiece- as if she were wearing a casual crown. Her bright hazel eyes, surrounded by her usual dark and perfected eye makeup, were observing Ilana and her with suspicion and slight anger or annoyance.

Ilana instantly jumped up from kneeling in front of Rose, stepped forward, and bowed deeply before Hela.

"My Queen! I apologize… we did not hear you approach us. I was helping Miss Rose get ready for the day. She also had come down with a moderate case of Fae Fever earlier, in which I gave her some herbs to combat those symptoms."

"Fae Fever?" Hela asked slowly as if she didn't hear Ilana speak, and looked over at Rose now. Her hazel eyes looked over her outfit, hair, eyes, and then her black wings.

"Yes, milady." Ilana said.

"Only younglings get Fae Fever…"

"'Tis true, milady, but since your daughter is new to this form she came down with tremendous pain and a high fever. Those are the symptoms of-"

"I know what the symptoms are for a Fae Fever." Hela suddenly snapped, shutting Ilana up instantly.

Angry, Rose wanted to tell Ilana to straighten up and not offer Hela respect, but she bit her tongue as that type of rebellion would get her friend killed. The game was back into play… if they were going to be free of this world, she had to be cunning and convincing that she was leaning towards their side.

Hela's hazel eyes were still boring into Rose's when she suddenly snapped at Ilana.

"Leave us."

Ilana looked up at her now with uncertain eyes, but Hela refused to look at her. Rose gazed back but kept the intense anger she was feeling inside of her from being seen. Hela wanted to be alone with Rose, which couldn't be good. Instantly obeying, Ilana slowly bowed again, and whispered, "Yes, milady," before she quickly left the room- not daring to look back at Rose, but she knew that her friend was silently wishing her well.

When they were alone, Hela remained standing where she was at and an awkward silence passed between them for a few minutes. Rose wasn't sure what to say and wondered if Hela was being faced with the same dilemma that she was. But then, Hela stepped forward and touched Rose's forehead with the back of her hand.

"Fae Fever, huh? How are you feeling now?"

"Um… fine, I guess," Rose mumbled, trying not to recoil away.

As if sensing her unease, Hela dropped her hand quickly and nodded stiffly. She looked around now, and observed all of the herbs that Ilana used on her, then lifted the small bottle of Eucalyptus oil up to better look at.

"I did not think that you were capable of getting the fever since that is more something Fae children get the first year of their life…" Hela said quietly, almost as if speaking to herself, "but I should have known that your body would have to adapt to your wings and that the onset of your full-blooded magic would cause that chain reaction, especially since you grew up only knowing your human form." She then put the oil down and looked up at her. "I'm sorry if you were in discomfort."

Discomfort? Rose thought angrily, wanting to tell her how agonizing it was… but then stopped and remembered that Hela's wings were cut off, whether by herself or someone else. She then realized that those wounds should have killed Hela from the pain that she would have endured, and her heart sunk. She couldn't tell if she should be impressed by Hela's apparent strength to endure and live through that event or be utterly disturbed at her possible insanity.

Rose kept her innermost thoughts silent and to herself, and simply nodded at her.

"It was very painful. I couldn't move, nor sleep last night or this morning. I am grateful for the handmaiden you have given me. She instantly knew what to do to relieve my pain and cool my fever."

"Yes, Ilana has proven herself a very good maid, and as a Dryad Nymph, she's very helpful and knows her herbs well," Hela said, nodding stiffly again as if it was an uncomfortable thing to talk to her. She then paused. "I… I'm glad you're feeling better."

Rose swallowed bile, still hating her. "Thanks."

"How is your wrist wound?"

Rose blinked at her sudden question and held up her right arm to show Hela the new bandage. "It has finally stopped bleeding."

"What do you mean?" Hela asked seriously.

"It was bleeding through the bandage all night long," Rose answered her, "which was not helping my fevers nor the wing infection. However, again thanks to Ilana, she helped take better care of it for me."

"You haven't been able to heal it yet?" Hela asked her in alarm.

"Not while being in as much pain as I was earlier this morning. No." Rose answered dryly. "I could barely move… I was in so much pain. My wings…"

"They need to be stretched out," Hela instructed. "With time, your body will create more cartilage in your wings, where they meet your back. Now as for your wrist… there's no use for you to be injured any longer." She then paused and looked hesitant. "Why haven't you healed yourself yet?"

"I… I have never been able to." Rose admitted. "Broo- uh, I mean…my mate had that skill. I could heal others of their ailments or injuries… but when it came to my own, I was never successful at it." Hurt ripped through her chest while speaking to her about Brooklyn, and she couldn't look Hela in the eyes while speaking about him. So she hung her head down low. "He was always the one that healed me."

"What? How is that possible?" Hela suddenly asked in a sharp tone. "He's a Gargoyle, Rose, not a Fae. He doesn't have powers."

Rose looked up at her and wasn't sure if her face was masking the rage boiling inside of her or not.

"I'm not entirely sure, though I strongly believed it to have been possible to do through our soul-bond." She explained carefully, trying not to lose her temper. "With one touch and when he would connect to me, as well as had my permission, he could wield my magic and use it to heal me."

"I knew that, I just have never heard of such a thing before…"

"Yes well…. it no longer matters because he is gone and that bond is now dark," Rose spat, unable to hide her anger. "Because of you, that treasure… or so you call magical unknowns like my unborn child, can never be again used."

Hela's face remained unchanged from her proper and pompous expression, but Rose could see the difference in her hazel eyes. Hurt crossed over them, but she looked away; not caring.

"I am sorry for your loss, Rose." Hela finally said in a breathy whisper. "I was telling you the truth when I said that I did not anticipate him actually throwing himself in front of you."

Rose looked up now, and couldn't hide her rage.

"I thought you said that you did anticipate that?" She snarled. "That's why you were pretending to stab me and my child in the first place… to bait him to sacrifice himself…"

"Yes, but I didn't realize he would actually do that for you."

"Of course he would have," She whispered, in disbelief that Hela didn't know the answer to that. "We are soul-mates… He is my husband, Hela… and my true love. There is nothing that both he and I wouldn't do for each other..." She paused, then scoffed, "shows you how little you really know about true love, Hela."

"Don't say that." Hela suddenly whispered.

"Oh please…" Rose snarled, standing up now, not caring to face her. "You cannot stand here and tell me that you and Demetrius actually have what Brooklyn and I do… sorry, but it's simply not there and never will be. If you think he actually loves you… then you're delusional."

"Maybe not with your father I don't, but I did have a love like yours once." Hela suddenly snapped, her hazel eyes now bright red with rage and grief. "So do not stand here and lecture me about what I do or do not know, Rose. You don't know me… nor have you ever tried to get to know me. You have no idea what I've truly endured that has made me be the way I am today. No idea."

Rose jumped back slightly in shock, but it wasn't because she was angry. No, it was because Hela was being vulnerable with her. Open. There wasn't a single part of that sentence that she didn't believe, and the hurt she saw in her eyes was sincere. Hela was right. Rose didn't know her… but perhaps it was time to give her a chance and get to know her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered smoothly. "You're right, Hela. I… I don't know you enough to make those judgments. Everyone has a past… and some… do deserve a chance to be heard." Rose nearly gagged on that last part, but it worked. Hela turned around to face her with shock clearly written on her face, so she kept going, laying on the half-lie. "Now that I'm here and my mate is gone, I should probably get to know my parents a bit better, as well as this land, and know the full potential of my magic…"

"What are you saying?" Hela asked softly. "Does… does this mean that you have forgiven me for taking away Brooklyn from you?"

The question shook Rose to the core and rage boiled through her veins, threatening to explode, but luckily Hela couldn't read her mind nor see the storm brewing deep within her empty soul. Her face remained darkly calm, but she raised her eyebrows at Hela's question.

"Not in the slightest… but," Rose paused, "I have decided to listen to what you have to say about your past. I can do that much."

"Well, that's a start I suppose," Hela said, still looked shocked and amazed, but her eyes softened. "It's… very… gracious of you my daughter. Thank you."

"Oh… don't thank me just yet," Rose replied quietly, turning away from her. Rage was still pulsing through her veins, and then something peculiar happened. With the movement of turning, her back muscles moved and her wings adjusted themselves in the center with gravity. The movement brought an achiness that made her quietly gasp out. She placed a hand upon her shoulder and rolled her neck around.

Suddenly, hands touched her shoulder so she turned back to see Hela standing close to her.

"Are you in pain?"

"Yes," Rose said angrily, throwing her hands down and clenching them into fists.

"Do you want me to teach you how to heal yourself?"

"I have tried to heal myself before," Rose said dryly. "I just have never been able to do it. On others… yes… with as simple as a thought, but on me…? It was always my mate that would heal me."

"Well, that has all changed now that you are in your true form, my dear." Hela smiled darkly at her now. "You can do much more now than you could before when you were human. Here… let me teach you." She suddenly grabbed her right arm gently and held it up. "Think about your wound like you would if you were going to heal someone else and imagine it healed… but this time… you must actually see that healing in your mind's eye. You must join your body and mind with your magic. Trust it… as it trusts you to use and practice with. Imagine health and all things whole- and your magic shall do the rest."

Rose stared at Hela, who was obviously trying to hide her excitement but was failing. Rose wondered if this was a mother and daughter experience she longed to have with her; if so, she decided to go along with it and give her advice a try. Anything to get Hela on her side. She took a deep breath to clear her mind, then did as she instructed. Placing her other hand above her injured one, she instantly felt her magic bubble up excitedly to be used.

Red, smoke, and wispy-like magic then came out of her hand and wasn't any different than the magic she's used before, but something was different… the magic felt warm in her hands, through her veins, and felt like she had drunk a warm beverage. It felt… good to release its energy from within herself. Her magic flowed all around her body suddenly, not just over her arm, and she suddenly felt her back pain ease until it was gone for good.

After a few seconds, the bright red light faded, and she gasped in amazement to see that her wound and the bandage was healed. But not only that, she felt energized, well, and her wings didn't hurt anymore.

"I… I did it!" Rose exclaimed, and Hela beamed proudly.

"Yes. I knew you could… you just needed that barrier that I placed on you at birth, gone. Then and only then would you be allowed the opportunity for more growth with your magic."

"Wow, I… I guess you were right. This is always who I was meant to be." Rose said, not believing she was saying it and meaning those words.

She turned around and pulsed her back muscles again, moving her large and majestic wings again. It didn't hurt but felt… normal to her as if this part of her was always meant to be, and before, she was too afraid to become it. To her relief, in this form and using her magic, she still felt like herself, still remembered Brooklyn and his love, as well as her purpose here, and her plan to escape with every good soul by her side.

When she turned back to face Hela, she was still smiling at her.

"I'm glad you now see things as I have always seen them. You make a beautifully fine and strong Fae, Rose. One you should be very proud of, as I am," Hela said smoothly, stepping forward and gently touching her wings. They reacted naturally to her touch, but her back didn't twinge in pain at the movement.

"Does your back hurt when I touch you?"

Rose shook her head, and Hela looked pleased.

"Good, that means that you stopped the Fae Fever with your healing magic. However, your wings will need to be used soon; to strengthen them…" She then stopped and looked thoughtful, "would... you like me to teach you how to fly?"

Rose's eyebrows raised up high. "You want to teach me how to fly?"

"I may not have my wings anymore, but it's still a part of me. As it has always been a part of you." Hela said quietly. "I can teach you if you wish…"

Rose considered this request and didn't say anything to her about her honeymoon with Brooklyn. Puck gave them a twelve-hour transformation potion that changed their forms into each other's forms. She spent one full night gliding with him as a Gargoyle, when they weren't making passionate love to each other, and he spent a day as a human with her. However, she remembered that Gargoyles couldn't fly necessarily, but they glided on wind currents. So, with that in mind, she would need to learn to fly and use her wings, one way or another.

She almost turned down Hela's request, but then saw this as a perfect opportunity to figure out Hela's weakness. Fresh air also didn't sound like a bad idea either.

"Where will we go?" Rose asked lightly.

"There are some cliffs near the volcano on the south half of the island," Hela explained. "Besides, I have to go out and do a patrol anyway. I do one, once a day, to make sure the Draugr are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and that all other creatures are obeying Demetrius's laws. I normally take Raven, a shape-shifting god of mischief with me as my wings… but… I could use you instead, and you would be much better company than he is."

"And Lord Demetrius won't mind if I leave my room?"

Hela smiled amusingly. "I think he'll appreciate seeing you making the effort to enjoy your form, and learning to use it and your magic well. Besides, I shall be with you the entire time, as well, so I think it'll be just fine."

Rose smiled at her.

Her plan was going into full motion now. Not only would she be alone with Hela to try to lighten her soul, but she would get to know Hel's land a lot better to plan her escape.

"Okay. I'll come with you... when do we leave?"

Hela's smile widened and something that looked like joy filled her being; a light. Seeing it in her demeanor, Rose could have laughed out loud at how well her plan was already going.

"Now… if you're feeling better." Hela replied, and Rose nodded.

"I am."

"Then let's go, my dear. We've got a few hours to kill before this celebration tonight," Hela said while guiding her towards her door. With a wave of her hand, the shields dropped, and together, side-by-side, they walked through the hallways of the castle and made their way towards the outside world of Hel.

Rose felt instant relief leaving her room, and as she glanced over at Hela, she noticed that her demeanor was different. It was lighter, more relaxed, and... happier. Which was unheard of with any God of Death. This was too good to be true. Rose smiled darkly to herself as they walked towards the outside together, and swore that with every step to go outside with Hela, she could already taste the deliciously sweet taste of her freedom... and revenge.