Chapter Ten

Was there anything better than the smell of your own baby's head? James Potter was sure there wasn't. The smell of Harry's warm, sleepy baby head made him smile, even before he opened his eyes. The bed did not feel quite right, but it wasn't unusual for Lily to tuck Harry in next to him in the mornings, so she could do some potion work while James slept in from a late shift.

His arm felt very heavy as he lifted his hand to cup Harry's little head, and his heart jolted in his chest. He struggled to force his eyes open, and gripped Harry tighter. The bigger, heavier Harry with the hand that was missing its index finger. Both of these were new developments as far as James was concerned. And then there were the voices at the edge of his hearing.

'– It is not as simple as that, Lily. I am certain you understa –'

'Oh, I understand Albus!' Lily sounded exhausted, and furious. A terrible combination. 'You though it would be too complicated and too difficult to do the right thing until either of us woke. So, you made your own plan and went to hell with our family!'

'It is not that simple Lily, as I have tried to explain – '

'Don't. Just… don't.'

James had enough. He pulled Harry against his chest and pushed himself up the pillows. His vision was pretty awful, and he had no idea what had become of his glasses, so he squinted down the ward at the green and red Lily-shape and the violet Dumbledore-shape.

Harry made a sleepy complaining noise and burrowed into James' chest. He stroked the toddler's back, 'Hush little mate. We're alright.'

'James.' The relief in Lily's voice was palpable, and she shot towards him. She took his other hand and squeezed it hard, 'You're awake.'

'Just about. Glasses?'

She let go of his hand to rummage in a pocket and produced his spare glasses case, normally kept in his desk in the office. He retrieved the glasses and slipped them on, 'Thank you.'

Her cheeks were flushed with emotion, and her green eyes flashed angrily, but she was his Lily. 'Hi Evans.' He smiled, even though he knew everything was wrong, even though he had no idea what was happening and over her shoulder he could see Dumbledore looking enigmatic and Gideon looking stressed. He smiled because the last time he had seen Lily he had been telling her to take Harry and run, that he was coming…

'What's the date?'

Lily looked utterly thrown for a moment, and it was Gideon who supplied the relative information, 'Eleventh of March 1982.'

Lily looked horrified, 'The eleventh! No, oh poor Remus.'

'We'll owe him so much chocolate for missing it.' James nodded, flippant as he tried to come to terms with being comatose for four months.

'Oh James. I was with him all day yesterday.' Lily shook her head and stood up straight. 'Albus, my family needs time to recover, and discuss what you have told me.'

'Perhaps it would be best if I explained to James – '

James had only seen the wand in Lily's hand a few times, but he recognised it and it shocked him. She did not turn, nor did she turn Orion's wand on Dumbledore, but her voice was so cold it could have rivalled Sirius' in his darkest moments.

'Get out. We will be in contact when you can be of use to us. Do not make me threaten you Albus, neither of us will like that.'

Albus nodded once, 'I am so very glad to see you all awake and well. I will take my leave, Gideon if you would be so kind as to walk down with me.'

The Potters were still until the door swung shut. Then James turned to his wife.

'Where are my clothes?'

She had locked the door behind her, not that he dared look at it. Any sign of weakness or hunting for an escape would only escalate Bellatrix's manic need for violence.

Not that he could see the door, lying flat on his back in the family library.

Bella's knife was circling lightly over his skin, just above his belt buckle, as she straddled his thighs.

'What have you been doing to yourself ickle Siri?'

He thought the most awful words and curses, the body bind had taken his voice too.

'Gifts from your loves? Maybe I should cut them out and make you clean again…'

The knife cut into his skin and Sirius screamed in silence.

Only it wasn't silence, and the weight over his legs wasn't Bellatrix.

Remus had very clearly been dozing, but the horror that was tearing at Sirius' throat and hammering in his chest had snapped him into full waking. His hands were firm on Sirius' bare back and shoulders, holding him close but not so tight.

'O fy nghariad, Sirius cariad. I'm here, you are in Rowan Cottage. You are safe.'

It was too much. Remus' soft Welsh accent, calling him love. They had broken up nearly a year before… before that night. He had never thought to hear those words again, and now, after everything and with Bella's manic cackling ringing in his ears from the nightmare memory and Azkaban. He barely had to think about it, before it was Padfoot's head tucked under Remus' chin and Padfoot's big paws getting tangled in the blanket.

Remus' hands tangled in his fur, 'Oh Pads.'

He wrapped his arms around Padfoot's neck. It felt nice, so he wagged his tail. It swished under the sheet, making a good sound. Remus' heartbeat was a good sound too, steady and a bit faster than everyone else's just like it always was. He smelt good too. That lovely Remus smell of jumpers and books and chocolate. He smelt like home.

His jumper smelt of other things though, Azkaban a little, but under that was something far more important. Family. Lily and Harry.

Padfoot's voice was nearly as hoarse as Sirius' and he barely managed the questioning whine. He pushed his nose into Remus' jumper and huffed inquisitively.

Remus chuckled, sounding tired and surprised, 'Yes Pads, I've seen them.' His fingers worked into the soft bit, just behind Padfoot's ear and the back of his neck.

He settled down against Remus, one side pressed to the length of him. This if anything made him aware of how much weight he had lost. Padfoot was huge, nearly the size of a bear, and the two of them currently fit easily onto the bed. He let out a doggy sigh and let the movement of Remus' fingers relax and lull him back to sleep.

It transpired Lily and Gideon had swung by Sirius' flat on their way back to St. Mungo's and had achieved a change of clothes for James from Sirius' rather eclectic wardrobe. The drainpipe jeans needed turning up at the bottom, but the t-shirt was one of James' anyway, an old Clash one.

The healers had done their best, but there was definitely muscle wastage he thought, looking down at his chest as Lily helped him dress.

He had to sit on the edge of the bed to get his breath back, 'Where are they?'

Lily didn't need to ask who, 'Remus' didn't tell me.' She scooped Harry up, and gave him a look that conveyed far more. It wasn't safe here, and she had an idea about where they were.

'What about the cottage?'

The look on her face broke James' heart, and he reached for her hand to squeeze.

Lily shook her head, 'I haven't been back yet. I only left here yesterday myself.'

'Well, that settles it.' He waved a hand to a wheelchair parked in the far corner, 'We'll go to Kent. It's still really fortified.'

Lily summoned the chair and helped him transfer into it, 'Come on Harry-love. You sit on Daddy's lap and I'll push you both down.'

James shook his head, 'No. We'll use a portkey. We can't apparate to the house anyway, and I'm not letting you push me all the way from the village.'

'They'll trace it.'

James sighed. He had been awake for less than an hour and he was exhausted. Remus and Sirius were out of reach for now and Peter… He shook his head, 'How then?'

'I… we could Floo.' Lily snapped her fingers, 'Dorcus is still on duty, she might let us use the Floo from the staff lounge. Is it still connected at the other end?'

'I think so.' James nodded, 'Yes. It should be fine. Godric, I wish I had my wand.'

Lily held out the cherry wand, 'Want this one?'

'I really don't.' His tone of disgust made her smile, and it was worth it. James caught her hand again, 'We are going to be alright.'

'Yes. Now let's sneak out of here and get home.'

The Potter manor was nestled into the steep side of a valley in the North Downs. Lily had always loved the chalk hills, with their beechwood forests and bluebell carpets. It was too early for the bluebells, but the woodland around the house would be full of wild garlic.

When Fleamont and Effie had died, James inherited the house. He hadn't felt right living there without them, and without Sirius who was already cheerfully installed in his SoHo flat. That, of course, hadn't stopped the boys from using the manor as their experimenting grounds.

This in mind, when Lily stepped out of the fireplace after James, she stopped perfectly still on the hearth stone, and offered James the wand once more.

James himself, out of the wheelchair and leaning heavily against the grandly carved mantle, took it. He looked pale and shaky and Lily's heart was raw as mince in her chest. All her boys were so hurt. James raised the wand and began to murmur quietly under his breath, moving it in complicated motions.

Lily caught bits of the charms and counter jinxes. The layers of protection James and Sirius had placed over the house should, in theory, not affect her, James or Harry. But some of the curses were too nasty to be trusted.

James wiped his brow with a trembling hand, 'Have you really been using this thing all day? It feels awful.'

'Mmm, I know.' Lily glared at the wand. She had only ever seen Orion on Platform 9 ¾, and though she would never say so to him, Sirius did look at lot like him. But Orion had exuded cold and malice even from a distance on the platform, and his wand still did the same.

James pushed away from the mantlepiece and took a tentative step towards the settee. When he wasn't struck down, or blind or whatever else they had done to the place he turned and grinned at her, letting himself topple backwards over the arm and into the plush cushions. 'I declare this room safe.'

Lily stepped nimbly around the little end table, with its big china lamp and settled next to James, gently lifting his head and laying it in his lap. She placed Harry carefully between James and the sofa back, but their little boy was too busy staring around at the strange room.

Lily stroked her husband's mess of black hair, smoothing it back from his temples. James looked pale. Even in winter he was normally outside as much as possible, keeping his ochre skin dark. Four months of coma and not natural light, the exhaustion he wasn't even trying to hide and the pain she thought was probably wracking his heart and body now had blanched him a sickly grey, and there were marks like bruises under his eyes.

Carefully she took Orion's awful wand from James. Reflexively he gripped it harder for a moment, and then relinquished it.

'Accio, James' first wand.'

James' brown eyes shot open, and he pushed himself up from her lap in time to grab the mahogany wand as it shot through the open parlour doorway at her head. He stared, surprised, down at the cobweb patterned carvings and smiled.

'Lily Potter, you are the most brilliant witch I have ever known.'

'Yes, I know.' She leant in then, pressing her lips against his and matched his smile. Even in the midst of this hell, they had each other. No one could reach them here, not unless they allowed it.

James' hand snaked around her neck, tangling in her hair and cupping the base of her skull. He kissed her back just as fiercely, until she threw her arms around him.

'James.'

'I know love. I know.'

'No. You don't.' She sighed and curled her feet under herself, 'They arrested Sirius, everyone thought he was our secret keeper, as planned.'

She could see the cold dread in James' eyes, even as he held his hand up to stop her, 'I'm summoning whisky and food, and then you can tell me everything that's happened.'