Chapter Twenty-Four
Puddles
Early Season Four (continuation of Chapter Eighteen, Rainboots)

Alexis is out of the car to meet up with friends almost as soon as they park, but Castle takes his time to pull on his gloves before shutting off the engine and opening his door. Kate takes the last sip from her coffee cup before leaving the car, and she stretches as she looks around at the full parking lot.

"Wow, it's bigger than I remember." The moment the words leave her mouth she feels her cheeks get hot, and she sneaks a glance towards her partner, who has a huge smirk on his face. "That is not what I meant."

Castle snorts. "Whatever you say," he teases. "Come on, tickets are this way."

Kate is glad that she'd worn her rainboots, because the dirt parking lot is full of puddles from the recent rain, both big and small. "I'm surprised this isn't in better condition," she says, after jumping to avoid one large waterlogged pothole and having to grab onto Castle's sleeve to stay upright. "Thanks."

"Do you need me to hold your hand?" Castle asks with a wink.

Kate narrows her eyes at him. "No, I know how to walk, thanks," she fires back. But there's no bite in her words, just teasing. It's easy to be around him like this, she notes when she joins him at the back of the ticket line. They're not at a crime scene, not interrogating someone, or theorizing. They're just...well, they're just spending time together.

As friends.

A memory appears in her thoughts and she has to close her eyes at the flood of emotion that it brings. A bright day, a somber graveyard, a glint of light in the distance. His warm body on top of her rapidly cooling one. His hand on her cheek.

His words in her ears.

I love you, Kate.

She shoves her hands in her pockets to keep from wrapping her arms around herself, and she breathes in slowly, then exhales several times. She's hyper aware of the crowd around her, the likely hundreds of people on the farm: going through the maze, picking out pumpkins, drinking cider.

It's intimidating. It's terrifying.

She finds a spot on the ground to focus on while she concentrates on her breathing, trying to push down the panic, the feeling that anyone here could be after her and she wouldn't know until it was too late.

"Hey."

Castle's soft voice and hand on her back brings her out of her thoughts and she looks up to see his concerned blue eyes locked on her.

"Are you okay?"

A glance around tells Kate that the line is moving ahead of them, and she nods before stepping forward. "Yeah, I'm fine," she lies, hoping that he can't see her panic. She sees him shake his head out the corner of her eye.

"No, you're not," he counters, looking directly in her eyes. "Is it the crowd? We can go. I'll text Alexis, and-"

Kate shakes her head and takes a step back. "No, we don't have to leave. I'm okay." When he just looks at her, she levels her gaze. "I just let my thoughts wander for a moment," she insists. "But I'm back. I promise I'll be okay." She hesitates at the slip of her tongue, hoping that he doesn't catch the insinuation that she's not okay right now, but Castle just looks at her for several long moments before leading her back in line.

"We have to go left."

Kate frowns as she studies the map, turns it in her hands to try and figure out where exactly they are. She finally gets the scrap of paper oriented, and she shakes her head. "No, right."

Castle takes a few steps to the left. "Right, it's left. Left is right."

"No, Castle," Kate insists, emphasizing his name. "We go to the right. Going left will take us to a dead end."

"Well, let's find out." Castle jerks his head in that direction. "I look forward to accepting your apology when you're wrong."

Kate shakes her head again, but smiles to herself as she follows him anyway. They are going the wrong way, but her partner is so excited that she goes along with it. The maze doesn't seem too large or complicated, having been created for kids as well as adults, but it seems to have brought out as much of Castle's inner child as she's ever seen.

Castle pauses at another intersection and glances at his map. "This way," he calls back to her, pointing to the right. "Come on, Beckett, we need to hurry if we're going to beat Alexis's time!"

Kate looks at her own map and chuckles. Well, now they're way off, which Castle will eventually figure out.

He walks ahead of her, following the path as it curves to the left, and when they're met with a large "dead end" road sign he groans. "Aw man, we must have made a wrong turn," he whines, throwing his hands in the air.

Kate bites the inside of her cheek to stop from smiling at his obvious distress over hitting the dead end. "Sorry, but I was right back there," she can't help but tease, sidling up to his side. She'd marked the spot of their disagreement on the map and she traces the path to the exit. "See? If we'd gone to the right, we would've gone there, passed the scarecrow, and then found the exit." She shrugs. "And we may have beaten Alexis."

Castle pushes out his bottom lip in a pout, and Kate can't stop her eyes from dropping to his mouth. When she pulls them away she sees the twinkle in his eyes, and feels her face flush. "I guess we can take our time now," she offers in a quiet voice.

Castle lifts his brows but doesn't acknowledge how her gaze had wandered. "Yeah, I guess we can."

"Hey, Beckett, pop on over here and look at this," Castle calls out from the other side of the gift shop.

Kate lifts the candle she's holding to her nose and breathes in, closing her eyes with a smile as the subtle scents of pumpkin spice fill her senses. She glances at the price tag at the bottom and winces. Yikes. She'll think about it.

She sets the candle down and approaches her partner, who's parked himself in front of a food sample platter. "'Pop' on over? Was that a corn pun?" she teases with a light nudge to his shoulder.

He grins. "Yeah, wasn't it a-maize-ing?" he says with a wink.

"Wow." Kate puts extra dramatic flair in the roll of her eyes. "I'm actually surprised that you waited this long for the dad jokes."

"I know, I'm a little disappointed in myself." Castle points at the tray of apple slices. "You have to try their apples, and that caramel. It's delicious."

Kate dips an apple slice into the container of salted caramel dip and can't help but close her eyes when she tastes it. The caramel is the smoothest she's ever had, with the salt scattered throughout adding a sharp contrast to the sugar and the sweetness of the crispy apple. "Omigod," she moans through the snack. "This is heavenly and I need it."

Castle is smiling at her when she opens her eyes. "Isn't it good? Here, I'll get you some."

"No, that's not what I meant," Kate insists, rushing after him when he moves towards the display. "I'll buy it for myself. I might get a couple other things, too."

She notices that Castle leaves the store empty-handed, so she grabs a few containers of the caramel, one for her and two for him, and pays while he's tracking down Alexis. They've been at the farm for most of the day, and if they don't leave soon they'll get stuck in bad traffic, but after she pays and heads outside, her eyes find her partner and his daughter on a nearby bench.

Castle spots her and nudges Alexis as he stands, shoves his hands in his coat pocket. "Ready to go? What'd you get?" he asks, nodding at the bag.

Kate tightens her grip. "Just a few things I couldn't resist."

"Like the caramel?"

"Maybe."

By some small miracle there's a parking spot right across the street from Kate's building, so instead of just dropping her off as planned, Castle actually parks and offers to walk her up. Alexis gets out for a moment to hug Kate goodbye, and Kate is so surprised she almost doesn't return the hug. Although she hasn't seen much of the teen since returning to the city, the affection is new.

She and Castle are silent in the elevator to her floor, until she pulls her keys from her purse and unlocks the door. She sets the bag on the entry table and turns back to her partner, leans against the door frame.

"I had a great time today. Thank you for inviting me." Her eyes flick down and she notices Castle's fingers twitch, like he wants to reach for her.

She wishes he would. She would suggest he take Alexis home and then come back and spend the rest of the night with her.

Instead, Castle takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair. "I'm glad you could make it. It was fun." He lifts his lips in a tight-lipped smile. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Kate."

"Good night, Castle." When the elevator doors open she waves, then goes inside and closes her door, leans against the door with a loud sigh.

God, she wants more than today. More than a last minute day trip, more than the occasional drinks after a case, more than the flirty banter they do every day. She can't, not yet, because she can't give him all of her. And he deserves all of her. But one day.