Chapter 24 Shadowtime
"Still inside, yet doubt survives
It all begins, beneath the skin
No-one is near, no-one will hear
Your changeling song take shape
In Shadowtime
Turn your wish to a vapor, the silhouette fades
Eclipse your blue eyes, and the outline remains
From the house of the moon to the stars up above
Amidst the comets, first sight of love
So begins the countdown" – Shadowtime, Siouxsie and the Banshees
She tries her best to pretend. Take it slow. But it's so difficult. Every time he is close to her, she can smell it. He is sitting next to her, reading, taking notes. She's looking over his shoulder, making sure he understands. Her offer to tutor him. She regrets it now. While these moments can be enjoyable they are also frustrating. The want won't go away. Every time she is close to him that desire ignites. She hasn't been with anyone else, doesn't want anyone else.
The way he says something or does something that reminds her of Albert. She doesn't know much more she can take it. This friendship is just a poor pretense. She knows he wants it too. Notices him blush when she leans in too close, breath on his neck, breasts against his back. The way he shies away when she tries to hug him. Friends do that, after all. He avoids touching her. Only her hand to help her out of the car. She can tell he is tense, feels it in his back. Runs her finger along his spine.
"Alex!" he nearly gasps.
She doesn't stop, moves to rub his shoulders.
"You're too tense, relax." She whispers, voice low, seductive.
She feels him tense even more.
"Friends help each other relax." She says, convinces.
He seems to hesitate. Swallows.
"Alright."
She moves her hands, innocently at first. Rubbing the muscles along his shoulders. Determined to undo him, break him. He starts to relax, give in. She moves a hand up his neck, into his hair. The other down along his spine.
"Why don't you lean back a little." She suggests.
He does. Head touching her chest. He moves back, suddenly aware. Looking up at her, her chest right at eye level, the neckline giving a small glimpse. Face turning red. She almost laughs.
"Oh stop it." She says.
Takes a step closer. He looks away, tries to get up. But she drops herself unto his lap.
"Don't pretend you don't want this."
He looks surprised. She moves her hand between his legs, feels it.
"Not here."
She is aware again, the library at the school. Evening. Empty for now. But the school is not. She nods. Gets up. He shoves his book in the bag. Doesn't say anything. She follows. Gets into the car.
In the end she didn't even last a year. It's not something she is proud of. But she tried. And she did try to be kind to him. Eliot had quite a charming side to him. And maybe it was because it she didn't pay attention to it before or maybe because he was trying to change. He was smart too, picking up on things really quickly. Not what you'd expect from somebody who has barely attended class and dragged in the bottom for years. She wonders if he was trying to impress her. The idea sounds foolish. No amount of effort would make her forget Him. Except lately she isn't sure anymore. Eliot does remind her of Him, but that's what she likes about him. It's what draws her back, but she knows its Eliot. Maybe this isn't so bad, taking the next best thing if you can't have the one you want. There are differences that she came to know. But then she reminds herself that it's only temporary. She is going away to Seattle and Eliot is staying here. She won't see him for a long time. She might meet someone else. He might too. It's all just temporary. So why not have some fun?
He doesn't go to the usual place. It's not the factories. He goes to an apartment building at the edge of town. The elevator ride seems to take a long time. Then into a small hallway. Opens the door with a key. Turns on the light.
The place is small. And looks like it's been decorated in the 70's. No shoes in the hall. The small hallway leads to a small living room. Most space is taken up by the sofa and the table, large shelves with books, porcelain plates, teapots and cups. Old, fat television. A coffee table that had the glass top cracked. An old dusty carpet on the floor. A half dead potted plan on the counter next to the sofa. One way leads to the small kitchen, all white ceramic tiles from a time long past. The other is covered by curtain of wooden beads.
He stops, turns around to look at her.
"Well it's much nicer then the place in the factory." She says.
Wonders why he didn't hesitate to take her there with nothing more than a mattress on the ground. Yet he seemed uncertain about bringing her here.
He looks like he is about to say something but he changes his mind. Parts the curtain.
"Straight ahead." He says.
It's an old looking door, heavy. The bedroom is large and dark. Curtains closed. He turns on a lamp. Its light is very dim. The bed is large. Four poster. Taking up most of the room. Walls are a darkish dirty green. In the dark they look black. The carpet is dark but soft under her feet. He stays by the door. As if hesitating.
"What's wrong?" she wonders.
Suddenly afraid that he doesn't want her. And it would her own fault, she knows. He shakes his head.
"Nothing."
Steps into the room. She notices the picture by the bed. A man with curly auburn hair and a woman with long straight black hair. Eliot looks a lot like the man in the picture but the eyes are like those of the woman- his parents. She's never met them or heard him talk about them. But she was certain this was their bedroom. She recalls the only line he has ever mentioned them in, it was in that strange dream " My parents don't give a crap about me."
He hasn't undressed yet. He looks at her inspecting the picture. She grins, teases.
"Afraid you parents will come back and catch us? "
"What, no. They're not coming back." He says.
There is a change in him. More determined now. He turns the light off. But the door is open and the light from the living room is coming in. he pulls her into his arms, holding her against him. It surprises her a little. In the dark she can only his outline. She wonders what he is doing. Feels him breathe into her hair.
"Eliot?"
He doesn't respond, but she feels his hand move to her face, lift it up, hold it. He kisses her, rough. She is surprised, it's not like him. He is pushing her toward the bed. But she quickly recovers. Bites his lip, pushes back. Hers him groan and smiles against his lips. If that is how he wants to play then she is more than capable. After all he is Eliot. She had never allowed herself to be this with Albert. But now she could do what she wanted. And it has been a long time.
She fights him, dominates, a side she hasn't showed in years. He is surprised tries to fight her at first. Who knew Eliot could be like this? Not so gently and shy anymore. She loves it, having him fight back. Breaking him until he gives in. She takes him, rides him to completion. Feels him tense, try to defy her at the very end. She know he is close. She doesn't stop determined to force an orgasm out him. Hands moving down to his abdomen, caressing, feeling the tense muscles, squeezing and rubbing until they relax. He shudders- comes.
She tries to pull herself closer to him only to have him pull away. That's when she knows something is wrong.
"Eliot?"
He doesn't look at her. Sits on the opposite side of the bed, back to her.
"What's wrong?" she tries, reaches out for him again.
He is silent for a while.
"This whole thing is wrong." He says, spits it out like something unpleasant.
"Well, I can't deny that." She says, pull her arm back, and wraps it around herself.
He turns, looks at her, a profile in the dark.
"Who is it?"
She looks surprised, unsure.
"What do you mean?"
"There is somebody else, isn't there."
She is shocked, he picked up on it.
"Was. " She says." He's dead."
She pulls her knees to her chest. The room suddenly feels cold.
"I do like you" She says" But not the way you probably want me to. "
Eliot bows his head, says nothing.
"I think friends is all we'll ever be." She says "but that doesn't mean we can't..."
She tries to reach for him again. He gets up, leaves the room. Alex leans her head on her knees and feels tears sting in her eyes. She knew it was wrong, she did this to herself, did this to him. Staying away would have been better.
Leaving seems like the only option. Slowly she begins to dress, finding her clothes in the dark. Buttoning up her shirt, looking for her jeans. Something blocks the light. She looks up to see him in the door way.
"I'm sorry." She says, afraid her voice will break, betray her.
She half expects him to turn around and leave again. But he doesn't. He sits next to her on the bed. Smell of water and mint.
"It's alright." He says, uncertain." This thing was probably not going to last anyways."
She looks at him. Still naked, apart from the tower around his hips.
"You're leaving next year."
"I just … I don't know if I can feel that way about anyone else.. But that doesn't mean I don't care… it's just I "
She is trying to explain without bursting into tears. He holds her in his arms, against his chest. He feels warm.
"You don't love me." He finishes it for her.
She can't speak only nod.
"I'm..." He begins, stops, uncertain." Being friends is fine."
She looks up at him, can't see his eyes, a shadow over his face.
"This being in a relationship thing is way too stressful." He scratches the back of his awkwardly.
He sounds a lot more cheerful than he was moments ago. She tries to smile, reassure.
"Yeah. Sometimes I wonder why people do it to begin with. "She says.
"I know, right..." it's like he is about to say something else but he stops himself. " You can stay for the night. "
He doesn't seem to be angry with her anymore. But she still wonders. Nobody would care if she stayed out now. They had no reason to go after her. She goes into the bathroom. Small, just barely fits a shower and a toilet. There is another room, a paper hangs on the door, written in pencil "Eliot". The tiles in the shower wall are cracked like something heavy had hit them. Alex dries herself of, dresses.
There is tea on the living room table. Eliot sits there with a t shirt and underwear, a shoe box on his lap. She looks at it curiously. He seems to notice. Opens it. it's full of things. He takes out a post card. It's the large stone Jesus statue.
"Dad's a sailor." He says.
"Did he sent you all of these?"
Eliot nods. Postcards and a few photos. Spain, Italy, China, Brazil, Australia and many places all over the world.
"He sent me these. From Africa" Eliot says taking something black.
Alex looks at it. It's like a rock, black, hardened, a seashell inside it.
"Caught in the fishing net." He places another one in front of her. it's like a large white snail shell but inside it's full of blackness. She looks at the post card he is holding. It's a picture of a volcano. She recognizes the place. Kijuju. He takes another piece of rock, imprints of what look like fish bones inside the black rock.
"It's not like any rock I've seen before. " He says.
"It's probably volcanic." Alex says.
She examines what look like bits of glass and bolt stuck on the rock as well.
"There was an eruption few years ago."
"Carefull with that one" He says" that glass is still sharp. I've cut myself with it once before."
She puts it down examines it from a distance. There are different shells, bits of coral, stamps, a shark tooth, and many things from all over the world.
"You should make it into a necklace" Alex says examining the shark tooth, Great White.
"I don't want to look like a surfer."
"You seem close. You and your father. "She says.
"Not really. As close you can be with somebody who is thousands of miles away for most of the time."
"And what about..."
"Their separated." He says.
"I see. Sorry." She says. "You're all alone."
She doesn't know what it's like to have parents. To have a family that is broken and distant. But she does know the feeling of loneliness.
"I'm used to it. " He says.
"I never knew my parents. And Natalia's died when she was three, right in front of her. So I'm an orphan in both of my lives."
He give her a sympathetic look.
She knows it's not going to change. Deep down, feelings don't change. But at least she isn't lying anymore. If he is really okay with it of if he is pretending, she can't tell. Being friend who sometimes sleep together, no strings attached. It's all they could ever be. She doubts she could be more, with anyone. Still unsure of how to live this new life. What she wants to achieve. But forward is always the only way to go. No going back.
He is gentle this time. More like the Eliot she I familiar with. Curling up next to him, head on his chest. It's a comfortable feeling, warm inside her chest. The scent, the warmth. But she doesn't let the illusion in. Not anymore. She focuses on Eliot, the one who is here. Thinking about the past only hurts. Past cannot be changed, only regretted. The present is better. While she doubts she could feel for anyone what she felt for Albert, still longs to be with someone. Not in love. Perhaps never again. It hurts too much. Letting someone get close, letting them in only for them to hurt her again. No. She couldn't do that.
It continues for a time. Studying together, him giving her rides home. Sometimes they sleep together. October rolls around and it rains. Cold dark sky. She hasn't card much for it but maybe it' because of Lucy. A fond memory. Pumpkin spice lattes and horror movies and cheap plastic Halloween decorations. She looks at her black painted nails and wonders.
The nearby town college students were holding a party. Somehow the word got out to even the high school student. She gives Eliot a devious grin.
"We should go."
"What?"
"The party."
"But that's for college students and.."
"So? We can look like college students. "
"You relay want to go." He seems surprised.
"How come you don't? it's a party."
He scratches his head, looks down.
"You've never been to one?" She catches on.
"I had to work most times and I don't really have any friends so.."
"That' it we're going."
He seem uncertain.
"Didn't take you for a party person. " He says.
"Oh, you didn't know me back in college."
He look at her surprised.
She looks at herself in the mirror. Long hair, the red has washed out. Holds all of it in a tight grip. One by one the lock fall to the floor. The scissors close around it. The can of black hair spray rests on the sink. She holds her breath, the chemical smell as the black slowly seeps into her hair, now just barely reaching the bottom of her jaw. It looks strange. But perhaps not bad.
It was said that Queen Victoria mourned her husband her entire life and wore only black. Alex looks at her black nails and wonders, if she should look the part. Black leather skirt, stripped stockings- black and white, large leather boots: platforms and chains and belts. Black sweater with some rips over her chest- deliberate. Long sleeves that consume her hands, black ribbons laced thought. A choker on her pale neck. Black lipstick, dark eyeshadow, ebony powder.
Barry is watching TV. He turns, sees her on the stairs. Expression of shock on his face.
"Moira?! When did you get back?!"
"Sorry, just me" Alex says, trying to suppress a laugh.
The man look even more hocked now. But he says nothing more and walks out the door. Coffin bag at her side.
Eliot stares at her in disbelief.
"Uh..Alex?" Almost like he isn't sure it's really her.
"Where's your costume?" She questions.
"Costume?"
"This is a Halloween party."
"Oh right."
"We can get you something in town later."
She gives her the awkward glances the entire ride.
"Not a fan of goth girls?" she asks.
"It's different..."
" A bad different?"
"No." He looks at her, blushes.
The short skirt showing her thigs a little. The way the sweater, despite being loose, clings to her breasts. The tears showing bits of her cleavage and breasts. Black bra pushing them up. She had to start wearing one, Natalia was a lot more developed than she had been. Becoming difficult to hide. Sometimes they still hurt, maturing, growing. Like something from inside pushing out. Most girls that age were mature. Alex had matured very quickly, it felt like it all happened in mere months. Natalia was taking her time. The trauma, the virus and perhaps even the presence of the other two.
It' still early when they arrive. She drags Eliot to a shop. Not one of those cheap costume ones. Regular clothes. A leather jacket, one with some spikes on the shoulders, a t shirt with skulls, chains. She messes up his hair. He tries to dodge her hand when she reaches for it.
"It looks good on you. "he smiles" the only thing missing is the motorcycle."
He looks himself over in the mirror.
"Not bad, I guess"
There is a whole bunch of people on the front lawn of the campus. This is one of those night when there is no rain and it's not too cold. Lanterns and carved pumpkins everywhere. She stops at the entrance, looks at the notice board. It's full of posters of missing people.
"That's strange." She begins to read.
"They were all students here at Autumn Creek collage." Eliot says.
"It seems they all disappeared here. Last seen on campus."
"Maybe this party isn't a good idea." He says.
"Let's go." She grabs him by the arm." Maybe there's a serial killer on the loose. That would be a perfect scenario for Halloween. It's exciting."
"Being hunted by a serial killer?"
"I recently put a couple of those in jail." She says. "And knowing my luck. If there is one we will find him."
Eliot looks around uncomfortably.
"How can you even joke about it?"
"What else should I do? Cover in the corner and cry?"
"No but… just be carefull."
"You forget we're at a party. Let's try to have a good time."
Tables outside with some baked goods, sweets. The old gothic architecture of the campus looks amazing with the starry sky above and candle light on the ground. People are walking all-round the campus, some in costumes some without. Some band is playing a cover of Misfits "Saturday Night." She grabs a drink from a nearby table. The person in charge of drinks had gone off somewhere. Cheap beer. She takes another one, hands it to Eliot.
"Drinks at these parties are always bad. " She says taking a sip.
Eliot takes a sip and frowns.
"This is pretty bad." He agrees.
"Well when you a college student this the only thing you can afford."
They stand there in the crowd listening to the band play for a bit.
"Let's go try to find the haunted house they made." She says looking over at the map of the campus.
It must have been a wrong turn because what is before them looks more haunted than any house. Tall brick fence with iron bars and a gate. A cemetery.
"Why is there a graveyard on campus?" Eliot looks around.
"Let's have a look. " She says.
The large gate opens with a creak. Dark, there are a few graves.. A plaque explaining that per tradition started by the founder every chancellor of the collage would be buried here on the campus grounds.
"That's kind of creepy." Eliot says.
"Yeah, a little." She agrees.
Suddenly they are startled by a moan. There somebody else here with them. Alex looks around.
"Hello?"
"We should go." Eliot says." We might be interrupting something."
Alex lingers looks at the dark path. Something stumbles forward.
"Hello?" she take a step forward.
The figure she saw on the path is gone now. She moves closer to that spot. Something moves to her left. She turns. Something jump at her. he takes a step back.
"Ha-ha, sacred you didn't I" it' some guy with a rubber mask imitating a zombie.
Alex look at him. Eliot stands beside her.
"You shouldn't just jump out at people like that! " He points his finger, threatens.
"Easy big guy, no harm intended. "He adjusts his glasses nervously.
"It' alright. It was kind of funny." Alex smiles
"So you two her to make out?" He winks at them.
Eliot looks away a little uncomfortably.
"Plan on spying?" Alex says, voice turning seductive.
The young man seems to get flustered.
"N na. no. " he looks nervous " I would never."
He seems to rummage ins his pockets for something. Takes out a black flower.
"Have you hear of it?"
Alex looks at it. The shape is strange. It's all black, looks tropical, exotic. It's big, almost bigger than the hand of the young man.
"Can't say I have. It's all the rage these days. They it will get you so high you'll forget how to be anything else. F fi finally got my hands on one. You wanna try? It's more than enough."
Alex gives Eliot a look. He had quit smoking, or so he said. But she hasn't seen him with a cigarette in all this time.
"Nah, we're good." Eliot says.
"You won't mind if we watch?" Alex asks.
"N no."
They hide behind a large statue of a stone angel. The zombie guy takes out a wooden bowls and pours water into it. Places the flower into the water. Takes a burner and a stand, place a cube and lights it. the bowl above the burner begins to boil.
"So it' like a tea?" Alex wonders.
"Nah, you have to breath it, but it's not ready yet." He says looking down at it.
The flower seems to get bigger, expand in the water, and open up more. Something rises out of the centre, pale silvery smoke. He leans down inhales deeply. Eyes rolling into the back of his head, mouth open, drooling. He remains there, head bowed above the bowl. Alex waives in front of his face- no reaction.
"He's really out of it. " She says surprised. "Have you hear of this thing?"
Eliot shakes his head.
"Can't say I have. To be honest it kind of gives me the creeps." He says looking at the flower. " Let's get back to the party."
They try to leave but the gate won't open.
"Great. Somebody had locked us in." Eliot tries to force it open.
Alex looks at the map.
"In the back there is path that leads through the forest and comes back out on the other side of campus."
The small gate in the back is locked but it is low enough to climb over. The absence of the sharp spikes makes the climb easier. She holds on to Eliot. The tight skirt not making it easy to climb. He gets a good glimpse of her underwear, black lace. She grabs on to the fence, drops down on the other side. Eliot follows. Pulls himself up on the gate and swings over with his legs, lands on the other side. It's dark, pitch black. Tall trees.
"Kind of spooky" Alex says looking around.
"My phone has a light." He says.
"Mine does too but we don't need that much light." She says.
The ray is enough to see the road. Alex walks slight ahead. Listens. She had that feeling she can't explain. It's like a pulsing sensation but it's on the outside. Something is out there, something is coming closer. All hair on her body stand on ends. A cold shiver down her spine. The pulsing is so strong it's almost throbbing.
A branch breaks. A crack in the dark. Eliot stops. Shines the light around.
"I saw something "He says
She wants to tell him she knows but feels like she will be sick if she opens her mouth, something pale flashes in the dark. She is certain the feeling is coming from it. Alex reaches, points at the thing walking up the road towards them. It looks naked and pale but not quite human. Eliot takes a few slow steps back.
"What is that?" He whispers.
She doesn't answer. Bends. A thick branch on the ground. It's almost like she can see in the dark. She can feel the creature somehow. Fingers grip the thick wood. It is coming closer.
"We should head back." Eliot says"
They are backed against the gate. But Alex isn't afraid. She feels certain. Breathes calmly. The thing can't see her. She is hidden from it buy the virus inside her or perhaps by something else. But it doesn't seem to notice Eliot either. It walks towards the light, blindly. She can see it now. Half of it looks like pale flesh, long arm, bent and misshapen legs, sharp thin and long fingers. But the other hand looks human, a bracelet. Some hair visible on the side. Face completely covered by flesh, no eyes, no nose or mouth. And yet there is evidence that it was once human.
Eliot is trying to climb up the gate, reaches his hand to her.
"Alex"
But she ignores him. Dashes forward. Unseen in the dark, a flash. Hit's the creature, breaks it's skull it falls to the ground blood gushing out. Body convulses. Eliot drops down, approaches. She looks at it. The flesh turns from white to grey, crumbles like withered leaves. There is a face- a girl, one she had seen before.
"She was on open of the missing person posters." Alex says.
Parts of her remain changed.
"What happened to her?" Eliot is still shaken up.
"She was infected with something." Alex says plainly.
"You mean a B.O.W."
"Or an attempt at making one."
"We need to get out of here." He says.
She knows she should.
"Wait, it looks like she is holding something."
She kneels down, the human hand is clutching something tight. She pries the fingers open. In the palm of the girl is a black flower.
"That flower again." Eliot notices.
Alex inspects it again. it looks familiar.
"The shape looks like that of the Sonnentreppe. The flower the can grow a powerful virus under the right conditions. It was found in Africa, in Kijuju. But the flowers were red and orange. This one is black,."
"You're saying the flower did this to her?" Eliot seems to catch on.
"I' m not sure. I've never seen a flower like this before. And the way they use it as a drug reminds me of some ancient ritual."
"So the drug- flower is related to the disappearing students. And possibly what ever happened to that girl. This sounds more like a job for the B.S.A.A. or the army."
"Good point." Alex says.
She takes out her phone, takes a picture of the girl and the flower. Sends them to Claire. Adds a message: "Redfield you need to get here ASAP. Autumn Creek." The message sends.
They hurry down the road. It reaches a cross road the leads into a broader path. There are light on it. Music in the distance- the party still going on. People are walking down the road. But suddenly they start running the opposite way. Somebody starts screaming.
They rush down the road out into the main path. People are running. Something big is running after them, it's large, fat, and flashy. All covered in the pale flesh no face, no fingers. Hands like giant meat lumps. It swings them around with great force.
"What the hell is going on here?" Eliot says, coughing behind the lamp.
"Looks to me like and outbreak of something."
A police officer rushes into the scene tries to shoot the creature but he misses. It hits him, knocks him to the side, body crushed and mangled. Alex still clutches the branch. The creature is not a pulse but a steady beat like a drum. Eliot runs to the mangled body of the policeman, grabs his gun and ammo. He looks strangely calm. Takes aim, stance like that of a professional shooter. Shoots the creature in the back of the head. Not enough to kill it. it turs around. Runs towards him. He anticipate the attack, drops to ground rolls out of the way. Shots one of the legs, short and thin for a creature of such mass. If stumbles falls. Alex smashes its head in.
It's a man under the flesh. A black skinned, middle aged man. Remnants of a suit.
"It came from direction of the party" Eliot says.
We should get out of here" he says.
Tries to pull her the opposite way.
"No." She says.
"He looks at he confused.
"I can stop this." She says, unsure." If I can analyze the flower and a blood sample from the creatures I might be able to stop this. I just need a lab and the collage for sure has one."
He looks shocked, almost hurt by her words.
"I am not the person I used to be. "She states, affirms.