I promise after this chapter that we will be settling back into a normal posting schedule, but since this chapter is so much shorter than the others, I wanted to go ahead and post it.

Getting inside Lilith's head is always interesting, and it will continue to be now that she's old enough to not only say what she's feeling but also to show it when what's about to happen actually happens.

She'll give me a lot more chances in the future to get in her head and see how she really works.

More notes at the bottom! Enjoy!

Is it Love?

The moon illuminated every tree they walked passed and every path they turned down as Lilith led Athelstan away from Floki's hut. She did not think about anything Floki had said, because most of what he said these days wasn't worth repeating or even remembering. She did not think about what Athelstan had told her about other men in town wanting to marry her. It honestly did not concern her, because men had been looking at her all her life. Many of them in rage and disgust. Many of them in lust and desire. Only one them with love and joy and compassion. Only one of them was gentle and giving, and it wasn't any of the men in town. Lilith had to forgive Ragnar for his temperament, but he wasn't who she was concerned with now. Right now, she only worried over one of them. Even when he infuriated and confused her.

"I know you better than you think, Athelstan," she said as they walked. "I have known you since the first time I opened my eyes, and it wasn't until recently that I knew I would only ever have eyes for you."

Behind her, he held her hand tighter, sighing softly. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She glanced back at him, sighing herself. "Probably for the same reasons you didn't. Because I didn't know how to form the words to match what I was feeling. And because we weren't speaking to each other. But then I spoke to Helga after we argued, and she helped. She told me it was natural what I was feeling, and she told me to be patient. That you would see it the way I did."

He stopped, holding her hand so she would as well. She faced him silently, watching his face carefully even though it was almost too dark for her to see his eyes change as he stepped closer to her. "I wanted you to have choices, Lili," he reminded her. "And I never wanted you to feel like you belonged to me. That's not what I wanted in the slightest. I swear. You have to believe me."

"Of course I believe you," she whispered, lifting her hands to his face. "I always have. No matter what we argue about. I have been with you all my life, and I never want to be with anyone else. No one will ever be to me what you are."

Athelstan held her wrists in both his hands, moving only a little as he spoke. "And what is that, Lili?" he pleaded.

Lilith closed the small distance between them, laying her forehead over his until their noses and then their lips touched. "Home," she said simply.

Gently, he kissed her much softer than he had before, longer and more easily than she expected. Lilith had kissed him to stop him from talking, to keep him from doubting himself, to show him what she was feeling without having to say anything. This kiss was different. She felt it from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, almost losing her footing on the path until she wrapped her arms around him more securely.

She didn't care that he still smelled like the hot sun or the mossy trees or even the fish they'd just eaten. She didn't care that he still had sand in his hair or dirt on his face. She didn't care that he wasn't clean. She wanted him closer, and it felt like he wanted that with her. Especially when his hand drifted down toward her tailbone to pull her closer.

The instant he let go, she felt the cool breeze brush against her lips, as the smallest space allowed him to whisper back.

"I feel the same way," he said. "I think I always have. You're my home, Lili. And I don't ever want that to change. If you'll have me, I'm yours."

Between her hammering heart and his, Lilith knew what he was saying, and she felt the laugh bubble up before she could stop it. He smiled and laughed too, claiming her waist and leaning his lips closer to hers.

"That's funny?" he questioned softly.

"No," she said quickly. "No, it's perfect. You're perfect. I didn't think I could be this happy. You make me so happy, Athelstan. I couldn't imagine anyone else in my life. Not like you. It's always been you."

His lips came over hers again, but just to seal their words, and Lilith leaned away from him, exhaling the breath she'd been holding in since he spoke to her before supper. With his hands in hers, she began down the path again, toward the only place where she was certain they would be alone.

The moonlight kept their path lit until they arrived at their destination. Athelstan saw the pool before Lilith looked at him, smiling like she always did.

"Gyda and I found it not long after we moved to Kattegat," she revealed. "It's just like the springs near the farm. Which is good because if it weren't, we probably would have frozen the first time we swam in it."

Even on the Spring eve, steam rose from the water as Lilith stopped beside it and began to remove her shoes. Athelstan didn't move, even when she turned to him still in her dress and reached for his tunic to unfasten the leather strings holding it together. In fact, he stood there and let her remove the fabric so he was naked from the waist up, his eyes never leaving hers even when she reached for his pants.

"Are you not going to stop me?" she whispered, expecting him to but surprised when he shook his head.

"I'm sure many years ago I would have," he admitted. "And a part of me probably still wants to stop you. But if this is what you want, then I want it too. It's not like it was before. I'm clear-headed, Lili. Nothing is going to change that."

While they stood close together, Lilith leaned her face into his, almost kissing him before she turned him so his back was to the water. Without waiting, she pushed him back so he would fall into the water. Just before he fell back, he grabbed her hand, and they both went in together. The water was warm, but Lilith still gasped when she came up, feeling Athelstan's hand as he pulled her to him.

"What was that for?" he exclaimed, treading so close to her that their legs became entangled.

"You're filthy!" she yelled and then giggled. "If you're going to kiss me properly, you will bathe like a gentleman."

She leaned away from him, moving back toward the rocks where his tunic still lay, but he stopped her, wrapping his arm around her waist to keep her close.

"You torture me," he whispered close to her lips. "And you don't play fair. And I think that's what I love most about you."

Curiously, Lilith leaned back, their noses still touching. "Not my eyes or my hair or some other random part of my body like any of the others would say they love about me most?"

Athelstan shook his head, rubbing their noses together. "Those things only make up the outside of you, Lili. That's all they know about you. I know you on the inside. And those other men don't know you. They never will, no matter how long they stare at you or ask for your hand."

With both her arms around him now as he kept them both afloat with his other arm, she sighed. "And what are you going to do about that, Athelstan?" she whispered softly. "Are you going to do what those men did? Are you going to go to Ragnar and ask for my hand?"

"Only if you offer it to me first," he swore. "That's how it's really supposed to be. And Ragnar understands that. I'm sure now that's why he told me and sent me to you. I suppose I never was good at hiding things from him."

Lilith breathed as deep as she had in a long time, laying her forehead against his. "Ask me," she murmured.

"Lili," he said and rubbed the tip of her nose with his.

"Yes?"

"Will you marry me?"

Gently, she thread her fingers through his longer hair, feeling him shiver and knowing this was the moment she'd been waiting for. She'd asked Helga how she would know what she felt was right, and of course, the woman who was her surrogate mother had spoken in riddles. But now Lilith understood. This was how she knew. So she had only one word for him. "Yes," she answered.

He bit his lip gently, leaning in to kiss her again, but she stopped him, putting her finger to his lips.

"First, you will wash. And then I will kiss you again."

Athelstan pursed his lips, laughing softly and nodding as she moved away to the edge of the pool and climbed out. "There isn't anything out here for me to wash with," he said. "How will I meet that requirement?"

From behind the biggest rock, she pulled out a wooden box and opened it to find the soap and wash towels she always kept here, holding them out for him as he still laughed.

"I've been coming to this spring for several years," she reminded him. "You don't think I would ever come here unprepared, do you?"

He shook his head, marveled, and she knelt down for him to take what she held. When he was close enough, he reached up for her face, kissing her again just once and then moving back to reach into the water for his pants. He took them off with a smirk on his face, tossing them at her and laughing again when she caught them. Once he took the towel and the soap, Lilith took his pants and hung them along with his tunic.

It took him no time to wash away his day, and Lilith waited by the pool, watching the sky and the stars and wringing the water out of her dress. She realized she had never really seen him do it before, not when they'd been in the monastery, not when they had been brought to Kattegat, not even when it had just been him and Lagertha looking after her and Gyda. Lilith had only just recently become curious about him that way, even after seeing all the men in town parading in front of her without any modesty to speak of. Even when she had been little, he had wanted to protect her, and he had trusted himself with her without pushing her to grow up too fast. She appreciated that about Athelstan. She knew he respected her and loved her, and it only made her love and respect him more.

"So," he said, drifting to the edge of the pool and handing her the soap and towel, "how am I to exit the water while keeping my modesty?"

Lilith blushed, standing up and turning away so she would not see him. As soon as she did, he pulled up out of the water, standing still himself for just a few seconds before he stepped closer to her until his chest was against her back.

"I've never wanted to know anyone the way I know you," he whispered, almost kissing her neck but lifting his lips to her ear instead. "And I know now that I never will. I want you to know me in a way no one else ever has."

There were no words that came to her to say how happy it made her to hear him say that to her now. She felt like she had been waiting for him to say it longer than she'd wanted to hear it. Now he was saying it, and it was all she wanted to hear. But there was so much more she needed to say, and he was the only one who would listen to her.

She turned to face him, knowing he was naked and fighting every bit of curiosity in her to look down. There were more important things for her to do now, and then the time for looking would come later. She cupped his face in her hands, almost kissing him again before she whispered. "I have to tell you something," she said. "Something only you need to know. And for me to tell you, I need you to put your pants back on."

He laughed so joyously that she felt it in her toes. With his hands over her waist, he nudged the inside of her nose with his, holding her closer so there was very little of anything between them save her dress. Slowly, he walked her back until she met the nearest tree that his clothes happened to be hanging on. He somehow knew she was more in need of his ear than anything else, and after pushing out a light breath, he grabbed his pants and then his tunic to do as she requested.

Lilith pulled him to another smaller grove, sitting inside an alcove and laying back to look up at the clear skies above them. He followed her, laying beside her as she took his hand in hers and rested her head over his shoulder. For a long moment, she didn't say anything, wanting to revel in this feeling. She knew it wouldn't last. As soon as they went back to town in the morning, their small world would grow back to the size it had been before. Athelstan would go to Ragnar, and that would put a stop to all those men thinking they could marry her.

When she didn't say anything after that moment, he kissed her in her hair, squeezing her hand gently.

"So what did you want to tell me that was so important?" he whispered.

Slowly, she sat up, crossing her legs in front of her and waiting for him to sit up as well before she spoke. "I had a dream about us doing this," she revealed. "A long time ago."

"A dream," he repeated, and she nodded. "How long ago?"

She turned to him, taking his hands in hers. "The night after we arrived."

First, he was surprised. Then he was curious. "Doing this?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Well, not this specifically. I saw myself, but I was older, like I am now. I knew it was different because I saw you, the way you look now, and we were together in this place. And then that day you broke your wrist happened, and I saw something I did not believe I would ever see. I saw the man I had seen in my dreams. And I didn't realize that it was now until two months ago. We were celebrating, and it was when Ragnar decided to go back to England. I looked at you, and you looked at me, and I knew. Like I always have. I think that is why I was angry at you. I did not know if you felt the same as me. And it frightened me."

Athelstan only waited for her to finish before he lifted his hands to her face, making her look at him. "So you dreamt of us," he whispered, and she nodded. "And your dream. It was like when you dreamt of the wave? And the shadow?"

She nodded. She wrapped her hands around his arms, pausing only a second. "I was scared at first," she admitted. "I never understood why I had dreams like that. Ones that always came true. And I never wanted them to come true as much as this one. I didn't know that until I started feeling things I didn't understand. And I didn't know how to say it because I had never felt it before. I had never seen other people before I came here, but I knew I loved you. I know I love you, Athelstan. It's the only thing I'm certain of now."

He didn't react the way she expected him to, with disbelief because of the terrible outcomes of her other dreams she had told him about. Instead, he pulled her closer, kissing her properly this time and almost pulling her onto his lap. "Lili," he whispered gently. "I had a dream too."

Lilith smiled so easily that it felt like all she'd been doing the last few hours, maybe days or weeks. As he sat in front her, she rose to her knees, closing the last bit of distance like he'd tried to and sitting over his lap. Once his arms were around her securely, she wrapped her arms around him to be as close to him as she could in that moment.

"So, tomorrow," she said.

He sighed softly against her lips, cradling her head and rubbing her nose with his. "Tomorrow, I will go to Ragnar. I will tell him what we've decided. And he will do what needs to be done. He's probably already got it all planned in his mind, given how he revealed it to me. Like I said, I've apparently become more transparent than I believed possible. There are so many things we have to do before King Horik arrives. But I'm sure Ragnar will give us plenty of time for all of it."

"And what about us?" she whispered, easing the tip of her nose along the inside of his so their lips were even closer than before.

Athelstan shivered against her, holding her tighter as his hands clenched the sides of her dress. "What about . . . us?" he pleaded.

Lilith grinned. "Well, we have just become betrothed. Promised," she said and scooted even closer until her torso aligned with his top to bottom. "Everyone will expect us to . . . "

He kissed her before she could finish, his hands finding her bottom and his tongue slipping between her lips. Chills thundered through her entire body just as they did every time he touched her now, and she wanted nothing more than to be with him the way Gyda had already been with Gunnar. It felt like he wanted it as well, and she was ready.

But then he stopped and laid his forehead against hers. "Wait," he whispered. "It doesn't matter what anyone else will expect. I just started seeing you this way. I don't want to rush into this because of anyone else. Do you?"

Lilith was surprised, but then she smiled. "No," she agreed. "I don't. So we will wait."

Without warning, Lilith felt the yawn force itself out of her mouth. Athelstan laughed softly, kissing her again before he leaned back.

"We will wait," he nodded. "But you're tired. As am I. We should go back to Floki's and get some rest. Tomorrow will take care of itself."

Once they retrieved their shoes, Athelstan took the lead from her, pulling her back to Floki's hut where the fire inside was still burning. Instead of going to their smaller hut, he pulled her inside the main lodge, finding that Floki and Helga had already turned in to sleep. The smaller bed beside the fire was still big enough for the two of them, and Athelstan pulled off his tunic to lay it by the fire where it would dry. Lilith had to do the same thing with her dress that was still wet, but thankfully, she was wearing a lighter gown under it that would be easier to sleep in.

For the last four years, since Lilith had become close to Helga, they had been sleeping in the same bed every few nights when she wanted to go fishing. It had always been innocent, because she'd only been fifteen. And even recently, when Aslaug had bid them to share a bed with it being winter and not wanting them to suffer the cold, it had all been innocent enough. Now it was different.

Lilith climbed into the bed first, safe against the wall as he laid in front of her, pulling her into his arm until she was almost molded to his side. It was warmer in here than it usually was in the smaller hut, and Lilith found that she couldn't stop touching his skin now that she already had. First, she pressed her cheek to his shoulder, and he pressed his to her forehead. She reached for his hand and thread her fingers between his, smiling when he did and sighing softly when he held her hand over his heart.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lili," he whispered. "I'm right here. And you're right here." He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his.

Her eyes began to close before she wanted them to, and she tried to hold them open for longer than it seemed possible. He held her closer, taking a deep breath himself.

"Just sleep for now," he pleaded.

It was the last thing she heard before she did just that.

I didn't know that the word 'betrothed' wasn't a word people used often until the fifteenth century, so when I wrote it down, it sounded right. And I looked up as many synonyms as I could, but they didn't feel right. So it stays.

I also have another side chapter with Lilith, Helga and Floki that I felt I needed to write to get her perspective on the day after they had their argument, but I won't be adding it to this story. I'll post it by itself, which I probably should have done with Ragnar's side, but oh well.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Next chapter will post a week from now. Catch you on the flip side!