Jacob's voice haunts me as I speed into Miami International Airport. The sky is still dark, but I know that it must be close to morning, so I enter the airport quickly and book a flight to Volterra. I only have an hour to wait, but I already feel jittery and impatient.
People follow me with their eyes wherever I go, so I enter a random merchandise store and buy dark jeans and a black sweatshirt to change into.
"Where ya headed?" The perky employee asks me. She's tall and blonde, but her brown eyes remind me of Bella.
"Italy." I say with a fake smile.
"Oh, isn't that exciting? I wish I could go to Italy. I always wanted to go to Germany, but the flights are so expensive now, and…" She drones on about her travel interests as she scans my items and she's still talking when I exit. "...and I don't know why. Oh, bye then! Safe travels!"
I don't respond. She expects that I'm going to Europe for the scenery or the food or the culture. But little does she know, I'm simply going to beg for my own death.
Two benches sit near one of the gate entrances, where only a handful of people stand around, so I sit down and bow my head. I go by unnoticed and the bystanders walk away after a few moments, thankfully.
"Gate F will be boarding in approximately five minutes." A robotic female voice broadcasts over an intercom speaker.
"Pass, sir?" The flight attendant calls to me from the entrance.
I stand up and walk towards her, holding up my boarding pass.
"You're good to go. Go right through there and take a seat in isle 23 please."
I walk through the long, silver hallway, towards the plane that will take me to my death. The plane isn't very full, with almost half of the isles empty, so I find my seat and close the two windows near me.
I'm usually much more careful about exposure, but now that I'm about to do it on purpose, what's the point?
More people come through the entrance and a different flight attendant comes out. She talks about protocols and safety precautions for a while, but she returns to the front of the plane after announcing that we'll arrive around 10 am tomorrow.
The plane ride lasts seconds or years, I can't tell. I spend the ride staring numbly at the seat ahead of me, only breaking my painful transe to say a polite "No, thank you." to a passing refreshment cart every so often. The seats next to me are empty, so no one takes notice of my strange behavior. I don't blink, I don't breathe. I just sit and wait for my death.
I see light from a window four isles ahead of me, but it starts to dim and it eventually diminishes completely. It's replaced by fluorescent lights above each seat. The only reason I pay attention to it is because I know that it's getting closer and closer to my arrival. The attendant said sometime around 10, so there should only be an hour or two until we land.
I try to hide it from myself, but part of me is excited. Not for abandoning my family or allowing the Volturi to kill or torture me however they see fit, but for having some sort of...relief. Even though it's only been a couple of days, I feel like I can't bear one more moment of this immense sadness that has encaptured me since Rosalie's phone call. Is it wrong that I'm excited? Or is it noble? No, no. Definitely not noble. Nothing about abandoning someone you love and letting them die, then killing yourself because the grief is too painful, is noble.
This was a pretty short "filler" chapter of sorts, but I'm currently writing the next action sequence and I promise that it's more exciting than this update. I've been receiving reviews about my age, and I'm flattered that you guys thought I was older. Your feedback makes my day. Also, we passed 800 views? That's pretty crazy. Thank you all so much!