Best Laid Plans Heather Burkett
Chapter 24: What The Hell
I awoke in Edward's arms sometime after two in the morning, disoriented at first until I remembered where we were.
My mind raced over the evening's events, replaying the night in vivid detail.
I'd taken Edward's virginity, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.
I slipped Edward's dress shirt on buttoning the top up as the material swam loosely around my torso, smelling of Edward's cologne.
Lost in my thoughts and warring emotions, I made my way over to one of the rocking chairs, hugging my knees to my chest and looking out at the starry night as the moonlight highlighted the river beyond.
My old insecurities echoed in my head: this isn't right.
He's too young.
I'm too old.
My thoughts assaulted me, threatening to drag me under, but my emotions were another thing entirely.
I'd found a connection.
"Don't be afraid to be happy." I felt Leah's words in my heart and Alice's voice echoed in my head.
"Don't overthink this."
Was I happy? Is this what I wanted?
Despite the complications, I looked over at Edward sleeping and my heart gave out a resounding "yes".
And it wasn't just my sexual attraction to him. He made me feel like me again. Not just Jacob's discards. Not just Sarah's mom or Forks' lead event planner.
For the first time in years, I was starting to feel like Bella.
My eyes wandered over the landscape, picking up a flickering glow to the Northeast. Despite the late hour, a small group was huddled around a campfire, enjoying its warmth as well as the company they kept.
I shivered as I realized that the fire in our room had long ago burnt out. I stood up, picking up a couple of pieces of wood beside the fireplace and tossing them in, locating the matches on the mantelpiece and lighting one, setting the wood ablaze.
I stared into the embers as I contemplated.
So, where do we go from here?
I could easily imagine this thing between Edward and I growing into something more. I could imagine sunset strolls through the woods and breakfast in the mornings. I could picture watching late night movies snuggled up on my couch, or romantic candlelit dinners. I could picture laughing and playing with him being as natural as breathing.
But then I imagined Sarah and the images stopped.
I tried to imagine them interacting, but my head ached with the attempt. I tried to imagine family dinners with Edward and Jake, but my mind's eye was a blank. Nor could I imagine Edward on holidays with my parents.
Yes, I could picture Edward in my life, but I couldn't picture him in the grander scheme of things, and that troubled me.
"Hey." I jumped as his hands slipped around my waist, pulling me backwards against his bare chest.
"Hey." I answered, leaning back against him.
"Can't sleep?" He asked, nuzzling his lips against my neck.
"Just enjoying the fire." I fibbed.
We stood like that for a moment, just watching the flames dance.
"About last night-" Edward started, "I know you took that as seriously as I did and, I just wanted to thank you for not pulling away."
I spun around in his embrace, wrapping my arms around him as I played with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. "Thank you for telling me...for choosing me."
And I meant it.
He smiled, brushing a stray piece of hair back from my face before caressing my cheek lovingly. He smiled. "It was never a choice. I knew from the moment I first laid eyes on you in my Uncle's practice that you were special. I knew you were the one I was meant for."
His words should have scared me. This was all happening far too fast and he was too young, too vulnerable, too naïve. I had once believed in happily ever after, but I wasn't sure I believed in that anymore.
Yet, I had felt it, too.
"Is there anything else I should know, Edward?" I asked, wanting to get everything out in the open.
He licked his lips, his eyes deep in thought.
He slipped his grip from my waist, down my arms so that he was holding my hands, leading me towards the couch. I noticed, for the first time, that he'd pulled his slacks back on – the material hanging loosely from his hips.
He led me over to the loveseat, sitting down before pulling me into his lap.
"I may have a secret or two." He admitted, looking at me sheepily.
I ran my finger along his jaw, my thumb caressing his beautiful lips. He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch and kissing the pad of my thumb.
"No more secrets." I requested, tilting his head up so that he'd look up into my eyes.
"No more secrets." He breathed, his green eyes nervous. I waited patiently as he mulled over what he was going to say. "I don't really need the job." He spoke finally.
"What do you mean?" I prodded.
"I'm not exactly a struggling college student. My grandparents traded in stocks and bonds. They bought my sister and I bonds when we were born, allowing them to mature. When we each turned twenty-one, they gave us control of them. I'm not rich, by any means, but it's enough for me to get by for the time being without having to earn extra income."
"So, you just took the job to save up more money?" I asked.
"Sort of." He chuckled lightly. "Okay, not really." He smiled mischievously. "When Mike told me they were going to hire you to plan their wedding, I asked about you. They gave me your business card and, when I went to your website, I saw that you were hiring. I just wanted the chance to get to know you better." He gulped nervously.
"So, you're a stalker." I teased.
He made a tiny gesture with his fingertips; a gleam in his eyes. "Maybe just a little bit."
"So, did you lie about your experience?" I asked, thoughtful.
"No, everything I said in my interview was true." He bit his lip, "Except for maybe one tiny white lie."
"What was that?" I asked, my stomach churning anxiously.
He took a deep breath. "I'm twenty-three." He answered so quietly I could barely make out the words.
Fuck.
"I swear, it's the only thing I've been dishonest about. I just wanted you to give me a chance and, since you already seemed fixated on our age difference, I just fudged my age a little bit to make it easier." He explained in a rush.
I stiffened in his lap, my hands fidgeting nervously in my own.
This makes him only ten years older than Sarah.
My heart started racing, my breath coming rapidly as I began to feel panicky.
"Please, Bella. Say something. I can't tell what you're thinking." He pled, bringing his hand up to stroke my face.
I grabbed his hand, stopping him inches away from my cheek.
"You're sixteen years younger than me." I stated, my voice strained as I closed my eyes.
"And five minutes ago, I was twelve years younger than you. What difference does it make?"
I don't know, but it feels like a lot.
How had I missed this?
I had been so busy with wine and lasagna the night that he signed the contracts that I had totally neglected to check the year he was born on his paperwork.
I started to stand up - to disconnect - when Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, clinging to me like a life preserver that had been tossed to a drowning man lost as sea.
"Please, Bella. Don't."
"Don't what Edward?" I snapped.
"Just...don't." He wrapped his hand behind my neck, pulling me forward to crash his lips against mine desperately.
My head was swimming, pulling me in a million different directions, daring to rip me apart.
I fought against his grip, trying to pull away as he deepened the kiss.
Four more years.
His voice echoed in my head. What difference does it make?
"Bella, please." He spoke against my lips, pressing his forehead against mine as I fought against the kiss.
I'm breaking all the rules now anyway. Since I'm going to hell...
I threaded my fingers into his hair, drinking from his lips hungrily as he moaned.
Without breaking the kiss, I shifted so that I was straddling him, my hands fisting painfully in his hair as I kissed him passionately. He undid the buttons of the shirt I was wearing, exposing my breasts as he reached up to palm them.
I reached down between us, unbuttoning his slacks and pulling down his zipper, needing to feel him moving inside of me.
I pulled back, looking into his black eyes.
"No more secrets." I demanded.
He shook his head rapidly, his breathing labored. "No more secrets." He promised.
I rose up on my knees, fisting his length before sliding down on top of him.
He threw his head back with a groan as my naked heat engulfed him, his eyes rolling back in his head.
I placed my palms against his chest, raising and lowering myself as I took him in. His hands settled on my hips, steadying me, helping me to push down with more force than I could on my own. My breasts swayed as I picked up momentum, and Edward leaned forward, taking my stiff peak between his lips – the sucking sensation spiking straight to my groin.
I rolled my head back, closing my eyes as I focused all of my energy on the place where our bodies connected over and over again.
I shivered, my thighs straining as I quickly approached my orgasm.
"Bella, I'm going to-." Edward strained, his brows furrowed and his mouth gaping as he gasped for air.
"Hold on." I instructed, so close to my orgasm that my body tensed with anticipation.
"Bella..." He breathed, his voice strained.
The knot in my body tightened before releasing into a million showering sparks that rained down, searing my skin.
I slid off of him just as he found his release, feeling the wet warmth hit my stomach and thighs. He trembled beneath me, his breath ragged as he leaned his forehead against my chest, nuzzling my breasts with soft, sweet kisses.
He looked up at me beneath his long lashes and I knew, in that instant – despite his youth – I couldn't walk away.
It was too late for me.
He laid me on the couch, rising like the sun at the end of a rainy night, and made his way to the bathroom, returning a minute later with a warm wet wash cloth. He carefully cleaned up the mess we'd created from our lovemaking, wiping the cloth over my belly and thighs, before discarding the cloth and carrying me back to the bed, tucking me under his arm.
"Does this make you my girlfriend?" Edward asked quietly just as I was drifting off to sleep.
I smiled lazily, chuckling at the notion of being someone's girlfriend at my age.
"It is what it is, Edward." I replied, hoping that was enough.
Fortunately, Edward didn't force the issue as sleep consumed me.
"Soooo? How was your date?" Alice asked when my cell phone rang just after noon on Thursday.
"I. Um..." I fidgeted, embarrassed to tell her.
"What? Out with it, woman!" The little sprite demanded.
"Isortofjustgothome." I mumbled all in one word.
"What?!" She was so loud, I had to pull the phone away from my ear.
"We spent the night together."
"Bella! So, it was good, I'm assuming?" She giggled.
"Yes, you could say that." I laughed at her exuberance as I unzipped my dress, anxious to shower and slip into something more comfortable.
We spoke for a while about the events of the night as I peeled myself out of the gown, padding around the bedroom in my underwear, gathering a towel and fresh panties.
"So, listen. What are we doing for your birthday?" She changed the subject.
"I hadn't really thought about it, Ali. It's still two weeks away."
Ugh. The dreaded forty.
I was not looking forward to this.
"Why don't you come by my house for dinner with me and Jazz?"
"I'll have Sarah that weekend." I advised, kind of hoping to just skip over my birthday altogether.
"Even better!" Alice chirped excitedly. "I'll get cake and ice cream and we can celebrate both of your birthdays!"
"I don't know, Al. I might just make this year all about her." I hedged.
"Bella, forty is a milestone – it should be celebrated!" She pushed.
I'm not going to get out of this.
"Alright. Let me talk to Sarah this weekend and see if she's up for it, okay?" I conceded.
"Excellent!"
With Alice appeased, we disconnected as I made my way into the bathroom to shower.
I was just about to step under the warm spray when my phone rang with a call from Sarah's school.
My heart raced.
"Hello?"
"Good Afternoon. Is this Miss Swan?"
"Yes, speaking."
"This is Mrs. Cope, Sarah's teacher. Would it be possible for you to come to the school? The principal would like to speak to you."
"Um, yes, but is everything okay? Is Sarah alright?" I asked worriedly.
"Well, she's gotten into a scuffle and may need some medical attention for her right hand."
"Oh my God. Sarah? Sarah Black, correct?" I rushed.
"Yes ma'am. We're as surprised as you are."
"I'll be right there." I said, hanging up and dialing Jake.
He answered on the first ring. "I was just getting ready to call you." He answered, breathless.
"Did you get a call from the school?" I asked, shutting off the shower.
"Yes. I'm already on my way."
"I'll meet you there in ten." I advised, rushing into the bedroom to grab a change of clothes.
"See you there." He advised, hanging up.
What the hell happened?