Hanji suddenly got much worse a few hours after falling into a restless slumber. However hard he tried, Levi could no longer rouse her. Her breathing became irregular, her pulse erratic. Her fingernails turned black.

So it was what he had dreaded: She had been poisoned.

Death, so a saying in the Underground, had a seat at every table. But even though it was their constant companion from the moment they took that first gulp of putrid air, Levi had found it impossible to get used to the idea that people simply ceased to exist once Death took them. That however much someone might scream, kick, and fight, they always lost the battle in the end. One moment here, the next… a final rush of air out of their lungs and they were gone, leaving a terrifying emptiness behind.

As a small child, he had dared hope he could bargain with Death. He had found a small bird lying in the muck behind their house, stirring feebly when he poked it with a finger. Levi had carried the fluffy creature home, feeling its heartbeat flutter against the palm of his hand. His mommy had told him that prayers were a good thing because they sometimes gave you hope - and so Levi had prayed: to Death, the Great Taker, to spare the little innocent bird who had had the misfortune to fall down into the darkness from its world of light.

His mother sometimes told him about that world of brightness. She enthused about a blue thing called sky, which apparently could change color at will. He didn't quite believe that but decided not to spoil her wondrous stories with his doubts and was quietly content instead to see his mommy's eyes light up when she allowed herself to remember joyful things.

Because it proved that the outside she cherished so much truly existed, the bird was an invaluable treasure to him. He made a comfortable nest for it from colorful rags, which he put into the corner next to his mattress. He fed it flies, maggots and spiders several times a day. Very soon, the bird lifted its head every time Levi entered the room, chirping in anticipation. It made him very happy.

But one day it stopped chirping. There was something in its eyes on that dreary morning, something that haunted Levi in his nightmares for months afterwards. It was a desperation that knew no salvation, a knowledge of the end that was coming.

He couldn't, wouldn't accept such a thing. So he had tried to bargain. He had promised Death a finger. When the bird continued to fade away, a hand. A hand and an ear. He had even added his foot to the offer… if only Death let the bird live its full life, he could take Levi's limbs.

It was all in vain.

Death did not bargain. Death did not listen. Death only took and gave nothing back. The bird had become a lumpy cold thing from one moment to the other, with glassy, unseeing eyes.

"You cannot do anything against it," his mother had tried to console him, when she had removed the dead animal from his room. "Every living thing has to die."

And now, in this hideout from a life long ago, Death sat down at the table to wait for his next quarry.

"You won't get her too," Levi shouted, "go the fuck away!"

His limbs shaking from the cold fear that gripped his heart, he balled his hands into tight fists. But there was nothing he could hit, nothing he could kill, nothing he could do to make this better.

Yet, Levi searched the shelves like a maniac, even though he already knew there was nothing in the carefully boxed up provision that would help Hanji. In his panic, he had fled to a place he instinctively associated with shelter. Only… in the months of his absence, the underground city had become something he no longer quite knew, a place that no longer felt like he belonged. He should have gone to a doctor when there was still time. He had suspected poison right away, so why had he not done that? Or better, he should have let the military police whisk her away and bring her to a proper hospital. He should have claimed he had kidnapped her so that only he would have to go to prison.

Instead, he had panicked.

And now Hanji's breath rattled exactly like his mother had on that day before Death had taken her from him. All he could do was arrange the make-shift pillow for Hanji like he had done for his mom, hoping she wasn't too uncomfortable. She was too hot when he touched her face. He put wet, cold rags on her forehead, wiped the sweat off her brow. He removed the necklace she was still wearing because the heavy stones had left red marks on the skin of her neck. He loosened and removed the corset she wore, finding an ugly rash on her body that seemed to spread as he watched. When he touched her again, he found her skin clammy and not at all hot so he rushed to find another blanket which the rodents had not gnawed to tatters.

He felt pain - pain deep in his chest that radiated outwards and amplified the vicious pounding in his head, tightening his throat.

Levi believed firmly that regrets were entirely useless. He had to.

When Kenny had tried to turn him into a mirror image of himself, a monster with no scruples who found pleasure in the pain of others, he had been brutally punished at even the smallest sign of remorse or compassion. But even more importantly, standing like a rock amidst carnage, Erwin had told him not too long ago that memories of regret only dulled future decisions. That a man who let others make his choices for him was already lost. Every decision - every decision held meaning by affecting your next decision. And those decisions had to be taken freely, without the weight of regret.

Levi wasn't entirely sure what it meant. But the lessons had born fruit: as a result, he didn't allow himself to feel regret. He knew regrets were either about things one had failed to do in the past or about things that had not yet occurred in the future. The former were unchangeable, the latter achievable. Regrets were for those who either wanted to give the past too much power over their lives or for those who were too craven to take responsibility for their own future. He had learned from Erwin that this entire mess, every single thing that happened to the people in this city was because of the Titans. If he wanted to change something, it had to be that. Kill all Titans. Or die trying.

So he didn't let himself regret bringing Zoë with him. But he let himself hate: Hate everyone who had harmed her, had harmed other people he cared for, hate every single lowlife in this forsaken place who did not understand that their petty struggles for influence would come to naught, that their actions against each other was the biggest sin humans could commit.

While his rage built, the space they were in became increasingly small, suffocating. Levi opened the topmost buttons of his shirt with shaking hands, but breathing did not become easier. His heart was racing and he knew he had to calm himself, to breathe more slowly, to think…

Think... Don't. Don't crumble. Don't let it be for nothing. Don't let it wear you down. Breathe. Breathe. Think.

Forcing himself to calm down, he became aware of the inhabitants of this part of town resuming their normal nocturnal activities outside. There were whispers, footsteps, the clanking of a pot on the stairs. He had hardly been careful when coming here. He had been seen and people talked. His return was probably even a newsworthy occurrence. They did not have much time.

So calm he needed to be. And thinking was possible again.

Hanji had been poisoned, but most likely not by Renzo. It had been whoever had set the trap, killing nobles in the back chambers of an illegal gambling den, tipping off the military police. This was an attack against Renzo, not Hanji. Hanji was just collateral. Or…

Levi took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The back chambers.

Where rich nobs got whatever they wanted for their money, however perverted their wish. But there had not been a single lightskirt anywhere at the event… which was very strange. Gambling was lucrative, but pimping was even more so. Whoever vied for influence like Renzo would not pass the opportunity to sell human flesh, unless… unless someone else controlled that part of the underground market.

Of course. The underground is awash in blood these days, Erwin had said, his room reeking of someone from Levi's past. That someone stood up against Renzo, the Church family and their attempts to take it all. She had shown her hand: Xandra. Also called Mother by those who had no other choice.

Levi jumped up and boiled some water. Twice. Then a third time, just to make sure it was safe. There was some dried and ground vegetable stock in one of the well-sealed jars, which he used to make a soup. There was salt too, a very rare treat back when he had put the provisions in this hideout, which was why he had hidden it extra well in case someone dared steal from him. The soup was too hot, but Levi didn't want to water it down too much, so he just blew on it until it seemed cool enough.

"Here," he said and put a spoonful to Zoë's lips, "you'll need your strength. You're not going to die. Someone will come."

Not collateral. Leverage. A second time, Zoë was used as leverage. Her fucking bad luck to be associated with someone like him.

Zoë swallowed obediently. The broth stayed in her stomach and it felt like a victory. Levi sat down next to her and took her hand in his. Just how carelessly had he made his way here? Now he hoped he had been seen by many, and especially by the right ones.

"Hanji, do you hear me?" he said, his voice sounding rough to his own ears. "Please hang in there. Someone will come here to bargain with me, it can't be long. Remember how I promised to capture a Titan for you? Alive? That's batshit crazy, but I cannot wait to try. I cannot wait to get out of here, with you… Erwin might kill us but who cares. Who cares as long as you are fine. You hear me, Hanji? Hang on. Please."

He prattled on, he had probably never talked as much in his life. But maybe Death could be cheated after all?

With an antidote. And with a silent promise to pay a debt with lives.

###

A sound woke Levi up. His hand went to his knife in one smooth motion as he crouched low, ready to pounce.

"Let me come in without you trying to kill me," a confident female voice said right outside the door. "If you're awake that is."

He instantly recognized the sweet and innocent timbre: It was Maria, cursed little bitch. Thinking how nice he had been to her gave him acid reflux. His protective impulses were such a nuisance.

Levi jumped up and ripped the door open. Maria jerked back in alarm, a knife held out in front of her with an unsteady hand. She was alone. Foolish chit.

"I will not have to try and kill you," Levi growled, "if I want to kill, people always die."

"I brought something to save her," Maria's eyes showed her fear, but her tone of voice was defiant. "If you think you can take it from me and this will be the end of it, you're wrong. She needs more than one antidote and you won't get it when I'm dead."

"Trying to be clever, are you," Levi glared at her, forcing his rage down a notch.

"No, just careful," Maria answered, craning her neck to look inside the room. "It took me a long time to find you, is she still breathing?"

That was the wrong thing to say. His rage surging high again, Levi's knife was at Maria's throat in a flash, her own knife clattering to the floor when he twisted her hand. She yelped in pain and he twisted more, right to the point where the bone was about to snap.

"I will kill all of you," he hissed into her ear, "mark my words. You do not mess with my people."

"I'm… I'm sorry for the delay," Maria gulped. "I didn't think you would get this far in your condition."

"You were there?"

"Yes. Yes!" Maria tried to twist her body away from his grip. A mistake.

"Move again and I break your hand for good," Levi threatened her. He wanted to do much, much more, but that had to wait.

"We don't have a lot of time," Maria whimpered, "let me give her the first dose."

He shoved her forward hard so that she almost slammed head first into the door frame. "Get on with it then."

Maria went inside, sweeping her eyes over the small space. She shook her hand with an expression of pain, then put it into her pocket. Levi stepped forward, his knife between her shoulder blades. "If you try any rotten tricks, I will lose it."

"You're a fucking menace," Maria hissed, her face contorted with hatred. "For the life of me I've never understood why everyone thinks of you as some kind of savior."

Levi laughed, but without any humor. Right. They had that in common. Maria pulled out a vial with a brown liquid in it and sank to her knees next to Hanji.

"Did you molest her while she was unconscious, you creep?" she murmured, "why is she almost naked?"

Levi was pondering how to cut off one of Maria's ears instead of an answer when the blonde girl wedged an arm underneath Hanji's neck and lifted up her head, which drove the murderous thoughts out of his head temporarily.

"Drink this, woman," she said, nudging Hanji's lips open. She emptied the vial into her mouth, tilted Hanji's head back and watched her throat work. "There. Done."

"Tell me what you want," Levi commanded, masking the rush of relief he felt.

"You and her are to follow me."

"She's too weak. She cannot walk."

"Then you can carry her," Maria snapped. "You seem to like doing that."

Carefully, Levi wrapped Hanji in the old blankets. He cradled her body to his chest, with hope blossoming in his heart. Hanji was breathing normally again. Her fingernails were no longer black. Death had left the building. For now.

###

What a wonderful dream she was having! Zoë purred in blissful contentment. It was warm and she was flying, feeling light and cozy at the same time. A pleasant scent wafted around her and she breathed it in greedily until her lungs were filled with it. Her fingers twitched eagerly as she moved them, on a mission to grab onto this thing that smelled so alluring. She frowned when she found she had to sort through quite a bit of annoying fabric … but then… ah! So warm, so smooth. She moved her palms up and down the hard planes that were so pleasant to the touch.

"Stop that," a low voice warned her.

Hm, what? No. She redoubled her efforts.

"Hanji, I'll drop you if you don't stop this," the voice said, this time with more threat in it.

What now? Was she not allowed to touch this wonderful thing? What kind of stupid dream was this? It was so lovely!

"I warned you," the voice growled and slam! No more flying.

Zoë opened her eyes wide in shock and found herself… huh? Not dreaming, but in Levi's arms. He was holding her upright, her feet were on the dirty street. No shoes, only stockings that had perhaps been white once. And she was wearing some blankets. Blankets that were slipping precariously.

"What the fuck," she moaned, making a grab for them, trying to understand what kind of situation this was.

"Stop pawing me," Levi grumbled. "It's goddamn distracting, I'll trip and fall."

Pawing him? Oh! There was a missing button on his shirt, which gaped open at his throat, revealing part of his chest. Which apparently she had been pawing. Zoë licked her lips at the memory and was impressed by her ability to mix dream and reality in such a beneficial way.

"Focus," Levi shook her.

"Where… what…?"

She remembered what had happened at the gambling event with a bit of delay and for a moment, the memory made her extremely nauseous again. Then she recognized Maria further down the street and realized that she didn't have all the information.

"I don't get it," Zoë said and tried to stand on her own, which wasn't a good idea. Her legs felt like they did not belong to her.

"Easy now," Levi tightened his hold, "I'll carry you again, but only if you stop touching me."

"I have to touch you when you carry me, I think?" Zoë sniffed. Pffft, what a prudish prick.

"But not that way."

"What way might you be referring to?" she said stubbornly.

"Like… like… like we're in the bedroom together," he coughed embarrassed.

"Did you undress me last night?" she asked him.

"Wh… well…," he stammered, "I had to because…"

"Am I complaining about it?"

"No?"

"See? So stop your complaining. I didn't know I was pawing your chest but now that I know how it feels…", she narrowed her eyes at him and his red face. "Maybe I want to do it again."

"Maybe I'll let you," his voice dropped lower and she felt a pleasant shiver tickle her spine, "but not until we're out of danger."

Danger? Where? Zoë let her eyes roam over everything around them to get a better bearing on where they were. Was it morning? What had happened since last night?

"Was I drugged?" she asked Levi because she sure felt like that.

"Worse. Poisoned," he gritted his teeth. "I'm going to kill them for this."

How sweet. But she might want to take care of this herself.

"Maria is taking us to who's behind it. She's Renzo's arch enemy. Let's see what she wants from me. Once we find out what kind of antidote you need, we're…"

"They have leverage over you because of an antidote I need?"

Levi nodded grimly.

"You idiot!" she chided him. "You shouldn't let them have power over you."

"But Hanji…," he frowned.

"What? You should have refused them."

"You'd have died."

"I'll die sooner rather than later anyway," she shrugged, "you know we won't grow old, right? The life expectancy of Survey Corps members is around 34."

"Yes," he admitted, "but…"

Their eyes locked. His were full of emotion. Zoë swallowed, feeling a bit flustered. She had never encountered anyone who had looked at her like this. Why does he care? she asked herself, feeling a strange warmth in her chest. He doesn't even like me.

"Carry me then," she huffed, finding it too hard to keep looking into his eyes. "I don't seem to be able to walk."

He grabbed her legs and lifted her up wordlessly - and just as effortlessly as the first time. She hadn't just dreamed that he smelled nice. He actually smelled nice. Very nice. Her fingers itched with the memory of how his skin felt and with the urge to feel it again.

"Can I put my arms around your neck at least?" she asked sullenly, finding her position very awkward.

"Yes," he grumbled, stiffly looking ahead.

She put her hands around his neck. And she put her head against his chest and didn't care at all about him dropping her and all that, because nuzzling closer to him was exactly what she wanted and needed to do right at this moment. She'd feel embarrassed about being this dependable tomorrow.

"Thank you," she murmured sleepily.

"Don't do it again," he replied.

What did he mean? Paw him? Nuzzle his chest? Or… get poisoned?

"You cannot die, Hanji," he continued. "A world without you would be a desolate place."

That was probably the nicest thing he had ever said to her? Actually… the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. Zoë smiled against his chest, hanging on tight, but already, she was slipping back into sleep. It was nice in his arms like this. She felt strangely safe.

"You cannot die either, Levi," she murmured. "There's so much more I need to find out about you."