Two days go by after the Titans' big win over Crawford County Day and Brittany is starting to wonder how soon is soon for Santana. She spends Thanksgiving with her family at her grandparents' house watching football and stuffing her face with all kinds of good food and for awhile it's enough to distract her from constantly checking her phone.
It's a quiet day filled with random moments of sadness because her dad isn't there to drag her and Pete outside for a quick game during halftime like he usually would. He's not there to carve the turkey or start up with the Christmas music despite their mom's protest, but they all set a place for him at the head of the table as if he were just running a little late.
It's the weirdest feeling ever to know that he's not coming.
Black Friday comes and goes in the same way. Whitney breaks out all the Christmas decorations in anticipation for the holidays which have snuck up on all of them. Pete's as excited as always and Brittany would be too if it weren't for the melancholy.
It'll be their first Christmas without him, just like it was their first Thanksgiving, and Brittany's not sure how she's going to cope with that just yet. She's strong and she usually speaks up when she's ready to talk about how she hurts, but she has a hard time when it comes to her dad. Everyone in the family hurts, it's only a matter of it getting easier to cope with as time goes on.
It's hard to pretend sometimes that she's over the denial of it all. Sometimes she thinks she doesn't have any more tears left to cry when it comes to her dad, but she always surprises herself in the end. It's true what they say about grief, it does come in waves and Brittany longs for the day they only feel like ripples.
\\
On top of the holiday blues starting to settle in, there's also everything going on between her and Santana. In the two days that have passed since the game on Wednesday, she hasn't heard from Santana at all.
At first, Brittany figured it was because she was busy. With Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping madness, things can get hectic so she was understanding like always. However, now that it's going on Day 3 and her texts and calls have still gone unanswered, her patience has started to run thin – now she's just annoyed.
Her head is coming up with all kinds of reasons for Santana's silence. Did she get scared off after their talk after the game? Was she really needing all this time to work out what she wants? Maybe she got kidnapped and is being held for ransom?
That last one is a little ridiculous, but what else is Brittany meant to think? Everything that they talked about that night wouldn't have led to a cold shoulder, not after Santana said all of those things about dates and flowers.
She likes Brittany, she said it herself, so why would she be giving her the silent treatment?
If Santana isn't going to answer her phone or return a text, Brittany will just have to take matters into her own hands and find out herself!
\\
When Brittany arrives on Santana's door step later that afternoon, all that bravado from earlier starts to dwindle. She's been here once before with Pete, but now that she's alone and doesn't have her cute little brother to lean on it's kind of scary.
Brittany has heard the rumors about Santana's family and it makes her nervous – like she's coming in from the wrong side of the tracks. Brittany definitely didn't grow up in a similar fashion as Santana so she isn't sure what to expect. Then again, it wouldn't be the first time rumors have been wrong about a Lopez.
Still, Brittany didn't want to take any chances in case she was wrong and Santana's parents actually are the worst. Who knows if Santana's parents would be around, but if they were Brittany wanted to make sure she made a good first impression. Her dad always said the first one was the most important so she spent extra time trying to look presentable.
And all this because Santana wouldn't return a call or text?
She's going to owe her big time if this ends up being something silly.
\\
After a big deep breath, Brittany gives a firm knock on the front door before taking a step back. With her head held high, she braces herself for whoever is bound to answer.
A broad-shouldered man with his shiny black hair neatly coifed opens the door a moment later and Brittany's heart nearly jumps to her throat. His brow quirks in a similar fashion as Santana's when she's being critical of someone and it makes Brittany gulp.
So much for steering clear of any judgement…
"Can I help you?" He asks, his voice deep and unwavering.
Brittany doesn't know why she scared shitless right now because he hasn't really done anything to scare her but she is. She hopes it doesn't show though as she gives him her best smile.
"Hi, I was wondering if Santana was home?" Brittany answers politely, "I'm Br – "
"Brittany?"
Santana's voice can be heard before she's seen wedging herself between the man and the front door. She's dressed so casually in dark jeans and a sweater, a stark comparison to the Cheerios uniform Britany's so used to seeing her in but the blonde is so relieved that she's there.
Santana looks a little shocked to see Brittany standing there on her doorstep though.
Brittany continues to smile at Santana although the man frowns and looks to the side.
"Did you invite her here? You're grounded, Santana, that means no – "
"Who is it?" Another voice calls out, "Why are you all standing by the door?"
Santana gives an apologetic look to Brittany before she's turning away to answer, "It's Brittany, Mami."
"Oh! Really?" The woman sounds equally surprised before the man steps to the side too. Out comes this woman who looks just like Santana only a little older. She smiles brightly, "Brittany, hi. I'm Maribel, Santana's mom. This is Hector, her dad."
Brittany looks between the three of them and smiles nervously. She wasn't expecting to meet the entire family all at once, "Nice to meet you both."
They all stand there for a moment and Brittany isn't sure what's happening right now or what all the tension she feels means. Hector continues to eye Brittany while Maribel looks delighted to see her.
Santana's just looking back and forth between her parents like a lost little girl.
It has Brittany backpedaling, "I – I'm sorry, was I interrupting something? I could come back – "
"No, come in. Please," Maribel gestures, "We're just about to sit down for a late lunch."
"Oh no, I couldn't –" Brittany says at the same time Hector speaks.
"Santana is grounded remember?" He says, "She's not meant to have any visitors."
Maribel only waves him off, "It's Thanksgiving, Hector, it's fine. Brittany, will you join us?"
Brittany shifts awkwardly. She can't really find it in her to say no to Santana's mom; she seems really nice, but super intimidating at the same time.
Hector is just intimidating in general, but a chance to spend time with Santana has Brittany leaning towards a yes.
"Uhm, okay. Sure!" Brittany answers.
Maribel beams, "Great!"
Brittany watches her shoo Hector to the side so that she can invite Brittany in. Santana lingers near her mom also watching this unfold with this curious look on her face.
"It's only Thanksgiving leftovers," Maribel explains, "But I make a great panini with them."
Brittany smiles at her, "Sounds awesome. I've never had one before."
"Really? Well good! Come Hector," Maribel instructs, "Help me in the kitchen."
Hector looks back and forth between Maribel and the girls with this confused look on his face, "But Santana is – "
"Let her have this," Maribel insists in a hushed voice that even has Brittany's neck hairs standing on end.
Hector nods obediently before following his wife to the kitchen which leaves Santana and Brittany alone in the living room.
Brittany turns back to Santana with raised brows, "So…you're grounded?"
Santana rolls her eyes, "Yeah. Word got back to them about my little disagreement with Karofsky and Azimio…and whoever else was on the field that night. Dad's pissed because I keep causing scenes, but Mom's proud that I care about someone else other than Quinn and myself."
"Wow," Brittany chuckles awkwardly, "Well…I guess that would explain a lot. I though you were ignoring me."
Santana's shoulders drop, "I'm sorry. It happened so quickly, I couldn't warn you that I didn't have my phone anymore."
Brittany nods, relieved that this wasn't something bigger. It was purely a misunderstanding.
"I've missed you," Santana whispers through a small smile that makes Brittany blush. Her hands are wringing themselves out and she kicks at the floor so bashfully that Brittany would laugh if she wasn't so smitten, "Uh…how was your Thanksgiving?"
"It was okay," Brittany answers shortly, not wanting to touch on how many times she secretly cried about missing her dad, "Just hung out with my family at my grandparents' house and started Christmas decorating. I missed talking to you though."
"You did?" Santana looks amazed which has Brittany giggling.
"Don't sound so surprised," Brittany smirks, "Talking to you is my favorite."
It's Santana's turn to blush at that but just before she replies, Maribel's voice interrupts them.
"Girls!" Maribel calls out, "It's ready."
The grin Santana wears instantly falls as she goes to inhale deeply, almost as if she's preparing herself for something big to happen. It worries Brittany.
"What's that for?" Brittany jokes lightly, "Did I just get myself into something I shouldn't have?"
"We'll see," Santana chuckles nervously before leading the way to the dining room.
\\
Brittany and Santana sit next to each other on one side of the table while Maribel sits opposite them and Hector sits at the head. The tension is still there from before and Brittany's not sure why that is, but she focuses on her manners and continues to be polite.
Despite only eating sandwiches, the antique China cabinets and ornate dining set make the meal feel way more formal than it actually is. They drink fresh lemonade out of crystal glasses and eat off of the thinnest plates Brittany's ever seen.
She feels like she might break something with just one touch and it puts her on edge a little, but then Santana's hand find its way on her knee. She gives it a gentle squeeze and it's almost enough to relieve some of Brittany's anxiousness. It's the hardest thing ever for Brittany to keep her eyes forward instead of watching Santana's hand move.
"This looks really good, Mrs. Lopez," Brittany compliments.
"Thank you, Brittany," The woman replies with a smile, "And please, call me Maribel."
"Of course," Brittany nods and everyone digs in.
It's kind of funny how they're in such a fancy looking dining room yet they're all eating with their hands. Maybe this isn't as formal as Brittany thought?
"So Brittany," Hector starts after wiping his mouth with the napkin laid in his lap, "Santana says you play football?"
Brittany gulps the last of her bite and nods, "Yes sir, I do."
He hums and Brittany's not sure what that means. He's just as hard to read as Santana can be sometimes, but thankfully Maribel steps in.
"Quarterback, is that right?"
Brittany smiles, "Yes. That's right."
"And your parents are okay with that?" Hector asks with just a hint of disbelief in his tone.
Santana stiffens at the question, but Brittany's no stranger to it.
"Yes sir," Brittany answers proudly, "My dad always said if you can play the game well then you should. Judging by my stats, I think I do pretty well."
Hector hums again but Brittany's not sure if that's in approval or not. She's thinking it's the latter just by the tone of his question and she knows it shouldn't make her feel small but it kind of does.
"I'd never let my daughter play such a rough sport," He says dismissively.
Brittany looks to Santana but it seems like she's just focused on constantly keeping her mouth full. It's a good tactic, Brittany should've thought of that first.
"Cheerleading is pretty rough," Brittany shrugs casually, "I don't think it gets enough credit really, you have to be pretty athletic. I think I was injured more times cheering than I have while playing football."
Her answer seems to take everyone by surprise and Brittany fights the urge to smirk. A girl being able to do both – cheer and play football? – that's unheard of, right? Brittany chuckles on the inside, secretly loving how she can shut down stereotypes.
"Well…" Hector sighs, seemingly stumped for the moment, "I suppose all sports have their risks."
"True! I think the Cheerios' drills might even be a little more intense that what I have to do with the Titans," Brittany replies with a glance towards Santana, "I couldn't imagine doing what Santana does every practice. I can see why she's been Co-Captain for so long."
"Santana's such a hard worker," Maribel agrees, "We're very proud of her accomplishments."
"I bet there's a ton of them too," Brittany jokes. When she sees Santana's dimples all on display it makes her entire day.
"Stop it," Santana whispers through flushed cheeks.
God, Brittany just wants to kiss her.
"So Brittany," Hector says as he aims the focus back onto Brittany, "What do your parents do?"
"Well, my mom works at a diner at the moment while she tries to get her Real Estate license in order," Brittany answers, "There's been some mix up with the paperwork so it's taking a little longer than usual, but she doesn't mind the change in work since it's temporary."
Hector hums while Maribel smiles, "Which diner does she work at?"
"I think it's called Frank's?"
"Ah yes, I know the one," Maribel nods, "Great coffee."
"And what about your father?" Hector asks stiffly, "What does he do for work?"
Santana glances to Brittany as the blonde answers, "Well, my dad died earlier this year so…"
"Oh," Maribel frowns, "I'm so sorry, Brittany."
Hector nods too, seemingly a little guilty for prying, "My condolences."
Santana just reaches over and squeezes at Brittany's knee again and it makes this all feel just a little less awkward. Brittany's always hated this part of the conversation, she never knows what to say.
"Thanks," Brittany replies, trying to force a smile.
The awkward silence lingers a little longer before Santana reaches over to top up everyone's glass with lemonade. It doesn't take long before Hector asks another question.
"What are your plans after graduation? Will you continue playing football?"
"I hope so," Brittany answers honestly, "I know it's a crazy dream, but I want to play at the college level. A couple of scouts had their eye on me at my old school, but I don't know if they'll follow me here. It'll look really good if I can bring home a Championship win for McKinley though – especially for the Titans considering their long dry spell."
Hector nods, "Yes, I don't believe the Titans have won in many, many years. It's part of the reason why they brought Coach Beiste in, but it doesn't look like she's been able to end the drought either."
"It's probably because she didn't have the right person leading the team," Santana replies, "Like Brittany."
Brittany quirks her brow at the sassy tone before looking to Hector to see what he'll do.
"You know Brittany made Team Captain after her third week?" Santana adds as she sends Brittany a proud smile, "It took Finn Hudson an entire semester before he was made."
"Wow! That's amazing, Brittany," Maribel compliments, "You must be a born leader."
"She is," Santana answers instead, "Brittany's the perfect person to end the Titans' drought."
Brittany tries to keep the smirk from growing when she realizes what Santana's doing and instead watches out for Hector's reaction. He only narrows his eyes at Santana before looking back down at his plate.
The tension is palpable again so Brittany quickly fills the awkward silence.
"It'll be an important game for a lot of people so I hope we can make something happen," Brittany says, "Coach Beiste is really great and most of the team is really hard working. There are rumors that a recruiter from Ohio State might be there too."
"We should watch, Hector!" Maribel suggests, "It'll be history in the making."
"Maybe, if I'm not working," Hector responds with a shrug, "So if this scout doesn't pick you up, then what? I'm sure you have back up plans. It would be silly not to."
"Hector," Maribel chastises.
"What's the harm in asking?" He defends.
Brittany gives Maribel and Santana an assuring smile before responding, "It would be kind of silly, wouldn't it? I have other interests too that I can fall back on if football doesn't work out for me."
"Like?"
"Papi," Santana begs.
But again, Brittany isn't too bothered. This time she's the one to give Santana an inconspicuous squeeze to her knee.
"I do pretty well in math and science," Brittany answers, "I got a near perfect score on my SAT too. I only struggle with English but Santana helps me with that. She's a really great tutor."
"Thanks," Santana grins.
"College isn't just about playing football," Brittany adds, "I doubt I'll be getting into the NFL so I do have other plans. I've always loved animals; one of my other dreams is to be a vet or marine biologist. Someone who helps those that can't help themselves, you know?"
Hector looks surprisingly impressed by Brittany's answer.
"Are we done with the 21 questions now?" Santana quips which earns her a glare from her mom this time.
"I'm just curious," Hector replies as he cracks a smile for the first time, "Small town, Brittany, everyone knows everyone. It's rare that I come across someone new."
"You work in Cincinnati," Santana retorts, "You meet new people all the time."
Brittany can tell Santana's getting more and more wound up for some reason, so she moves to diffuse the situation before Santana can get herself into anymore trouble with her parents.
"It's okay," Brittany shrugs, "I don't mind."
"See?" Hector waves his hand, "We're just talking. It's important to have conversations about options when it comes to college."
"Is it now?" Santana asks sarcastically, "I wouldn't know. Seems like your mind was pretty made up when it came to my options."
Brittany's brows rise at that tone and her gaze averts right to her plate.
"Who needs options when you're Harvard-bound?" Hector questions, "There's no better university."
"Maybe to you."
Hector looks taken aback, "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying – "
"Let's not do this here," Maribel interrupts.
There's that familiar motherly tone that makes Brittany's neck hairs stand on end, but she peeks up to see Santana and Hector standing off through glares while Maribel is giving them one of her own.
Out of the three, Maribel's is the scariest.
Santana backs down first with a mumbled, "Sorry."
Hector only takes in a deep breath while Maribel smiles again at Brittany.
"Forgive us, Brittany," She says.
"It's cool," Brittany smiles before chancing a glance in Santana's direction. The girl is still fuming in silence and Brittany wants nothing more than to comfort her.
"We'll talk about this later," Hector says lowly.
"Fine," Santana huffs.
\\
Thankfully, Hector and Maribel dismiss themselves shortly after and Santana's left to clean up. Brittany tags along to offer her a hand, but they don't make any small talk. She can see that Santana's stuck in her head, but Brittany can understand why. After such a short lunch, she's starting to see why Santana struggles so much with being herself and owning her feelings.
"I'm sorry about him," Santana mentions awhile later after the dishes are done.
Brittany tries to make light of it, "I haven't been grilled like that in awhile."
"Yeah," Santana shakes her head, "He isn't usually like that, but if it's any consolation you did a lot better than when Puck came over for the first time. You should've seen my dad's face when Puck told him about his plans for college."
"Why?"
"Puck doesn't have any," Santana chuckles, "Afterwards my dad told me I wasn't allowed to see him anymore."
Brittany's eyes widen, "You two dated?"
"I wouldn't really call it that."
"Oh."
"It's whatever. That was before everything happened," Santana shrugs before she starts to smirk, "So you never told me you used to cheer."
"You never asked," Brittany replies jokingly, "The coach at my old school let me join after the football season finished up. I did that for a year before I decided to stick to training in the off season and work."
"And you had a job?"
"Yeah," Brittany laughs, "I made smoothies at this one place. I got free drinks whenever I wanted so that was pretty cool."
"I've never had a job," Santana admits, "My dad won't let me."
Brittany chuckles, "Why am I not surprised by that?"
Santana sends her a playful glare before asking, "So why'd you quit cheering?"
"It's boring."
"Boring?" Santana laughs out of disbelief.
"Yeah, it didn't really challenge me," Brittany shrugs.
"But the stunts?"
"I've already done gymnastics so nothing new to me."
Santana gives her a look for that, "You must've not had the right kind of Captain. "
"You think so?" Brittany raises her brow challengingly.
"I know so," Santana smirks and slides a little closer, "I can promise you'd never get bored on my squad."
Brittany bites her lip at the sound of Santana's flirty tone but she puts some distance between them. After all, they're still in Santana's kitchen and who knows where Maribel and Hector are.
"Don't do that."
"Do what?" Santana asks innocently.
Brittany narrows her eyes although she can't help but smile, "Flirt with me."
"I didn't realize I was."
"Well, you were and you can't do that right now," Brittany says before drying her hands, "I came here because I'm mad at you, but… I guess that was before I knew you were grounded so I can't really be mad anymore."
Santana looks confused, "Wait…you're mad at me? Why?"
Brittany turns away, "It sounds silly now."
Santana softens at Brittany's sudden shyness, "Tell me."
"Well, I thought you were ignoring me on purpose," Brittany admits guiltily, "You said we would talk soon and then I went two days without hearing from you and…at first I was worried and then I got kind of angry. I thought you might have had…second thoughts."
"Oh," Santana breathes out and combs her fingers through her long dark hair, "I'm sorry. Like I said, it happened really quickly – I couldn't send out a warning or anything."
"I get that now," Brittany nods, "Especially after that lunch."
"Yeah," Santana says sadly, "I should get my phone back soon, maybe later today if my mom has anything to do with it."
"Okay," Brittany replies, "Then maybe we can talk about what we're doing?"
Santana sighs, "Britt…this is still really new for me. My family isn't like yours and I'm not like you."
Brittany starts to frown, "I know that."
"So you have to stop pressuring me," Santana replies.
"Santana," Brittany sighs as she takes one of her hands, "I wasn't trying to pressure you, I just don't want you to get comfortable in hiding who you are."
Judging by the surprised look on Santana's face, Brittany's not sure if she's just crossed a line she shouldn't have. She wasn't trying to be rude, if anything she cares way too much and she just wants Santana to know that.
"I'm sorry," Brittany says in a softer tone as she runs her thumb over the back of Santana's hand, "I just…I know how hard it is to venture out of your comfort zone – especially when it comes to this stuff – and I feel like that's exactly what you were doing. You were getting comfortable with hiding us and with the way I feel about you and knowing how you feel about me…I don't want to do that."
Santana looks a little guilty as she nods, "I don't want to either."
"I like you," Brittany admits around a timid grin as she lets go of Santana's hand, "I really like you and I like kissing you and being around you, but I can only be patient and wait for so long. I'm not asking you to have everything figured out, because who does at our age?"
"Like, no one."
"Exactly."
Santana gives her small smile, "There's that infamous Pierce wisdom again."
Brittany lifts her shoulder casually at the compliment while Santana just stares at the blonde with this serene look on her face. It kind of makes Brittany feel see-through but in a good way. The kind of way that has her going out on a limb here and voicing exactly what she wants for them.
Brittany nervously bites her lip, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think you and I are awesome together and I wouldn't mind figuring out stuff with you."
Santana looks like she's about to melt into a puddle as she says, "Brittany."
The blonde has never heard her name sound so pretty, but she guesses it helps when there's a gorgeous girl saying it. It makes her feel tingly all over and she can't help but grin.
"We won't have to label it yet if you don't want to," Brittany rambles, "I mean, I'd love to call you my girlfriend because I think it kinda has a nice ring to it but I don't want to pressure you. I just need to know whether or not we're an us or still Santana and Brittany."
Santana flutters her thick lashes as she looks up at Brittany with this look of pure adoration.
"Did you just ask me to be your girlfriend?" Santana asks around a small smile.
Brittany lets out a nervous chuckle as she squeezes the back of her neck, "I think I did – which I didn't plan on doing but I'm not taking it back now."
"Good," Santana replies and that makes Brittany's smile widen, "I don't want you to."
Brittany bites her bottom lip to keep from beaming, "So does that mean…"
Santana giggles as she tugs a little on the bottom of Brittany's shirt and pulls her in even closer. Her expression turns solemn and Brittany's smile falters, unsure if that's a good or bad sign.
"I can't promise you that I won't say the wrong thing again or I won't disappoint you," Santana says, "You know I'm still a work in progress and I wish that meant that you didn't have to worry about me back stepping or getting scared, but I really don't know."
Brittany looks worried but she tries to mask it with an, "Okay."
"But…I can try to be better," Santana adds sounding a lot more hopeful, "I want to be better. Like I've said before, I want to be someone you deserve to be with and if we're going to do this thing for real then it's time that I put in the work to show you that. I've never really been a great girlfriend in the past, but with you – there's nothing I want more."
The overwhelming relief that washes over Brittany is unmatched and all she wants to do is wrap Santana up in the tightest hug ever and kiss her silly, but she's so surprised by the turn of events that all she can do is stand there and stare dopily.
"Okay," Brittany says again behind her grin.
Santana laughs before looking around hesitantly. After a glance around the kitchen, she's rolling up on her tippy toes to place a chaste kiss to Brittany's cheek. The move surprises the quarterback but she smiles anyway.
"I'm taking that as a yes?" Brittany jokes.
"It's definitely a yes," Santana giggles and Brittany can't stop staring at how cute her dimples are when she's smiling so brightly. She wants to do everything in her power to make Santana smile like that more often – hopefully she can – but then she sees the time displayed on the microwave and suddenly frowns.
"Crap! I should get going," Brittany says in a hurry, "I'm supposed to pick up Pete from my grandparents' house in like five minutes. They're hosting poker at their place tonight."
Santana quirks a brow, "Poker?"
"Yeah," Brittany answers casually, "Pretend you didn't hear that though. I'm not really supposed to say. My mom doesn't like when they gamble."
Santana chuckles at that, "Okay then, let me walk you out."
As she leads the way, they pass Maribel reading in the living room alone. The woman glances up at them and smiles.
"You heading home now, Brittany?" Maribel asks.
"Almost. I have to pick up my little brother first," Brittany replies, "Thank you for lunch."
"Of course, any time!"
"I'm just going to walk Brittany to the car," Santana says to which Maribel only nods with this knowing smile. It makes Brittany wonder what that is but soon Santana's nudging her out the door and closing it behind them.
"Geez, can't get rid of me soon en – "
The closes just in time for Santana to steal a kiss. It catches Brittany off guard but she smiles into anyway, hoping it lasts a little longer than the peck on her cheek in the kitchen.
"I couldn't do that in there," Santana explains when she pulls away, "Not yet."
"Not yet," Brittany grins, "We can wait awhile to do that in front of your parents. Your dad kind of scares me a little. Actually, your mom does too."
Santana chuckles, "So could I call you later? You know, if I get my phone back tonight?"
"Sure!"
"Okay cool," Santana nods happily, "Well…have a safe drive."
"I will," Brittany winks before walking to her car. She buckles in and waves one last time to Santana before heading off.
\\\\\
Santana's heart is a little heavy when she heads back inside despite what just happened in her kitchen. The pure joy and happiness she feels for finally clearing things up with Brittany is great, but it's not enough to overshadow the impending doom since she opened her big mouth during lunch. Santana has felt this particular storm brewing for some time now and all she has is her attitude to thank for it to finally happen.
Maribel glances from her book when the front door closes and Santana instantly feels her shoulders sink beneath the weight of what's to come.
Why couldn't she have bit her tongue like always? Why'd she have to do this now of all times?
There's this sympathetic look on Maribel's face as she sets the book aside.
"Brittany's a sweet girl," Maribel mentions like any talk of Brittany is some sort of ice breaker for Santana.
It kind of is now; it's hard not to smile when the blonde crosses Santana's mind.
"The sweetest," Santana agrees bashfully before joining her mom on the couch.
They sit there in silence for a moment and Santana's not sure what Maribel's going to say next. Talk of Brittany wasn't her first choice, but she rather that than the latter – at least while it's just them sitting there.
"So are you two…a couple?" Maribel asks hesitantly.
Santana's first instinct is to lie and she really considers going through with it, but she doesn't. She has to do things differently this time – for her and for Brittany. With Maribel, Santana finds a little comfort and pushes her boundaries.
"Kind of."
Santana's answer makes Maribel look back at her quizzically.
"Kind of?" Maribel asks, "That was a yes or no question."
Santana blushes as she stammers out, "Yes. Yes, we are."
Maribel smiles proudly, "When did that happen?"
"Just a little while ago," Santana can't help but smile, "While we were doing the dishes."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Santana's grin turns bashful, "I…I really like her, Mami. I've liked her for awhile now."
"I can see why. She seems like a great girl," Maribel winks, "What took you two so long?"
Santana knows Maribel was only joking but it makes her start to frown. She knows she isn't the easiest person to be with and it takes a special kind of patience to stick it out for as long as Brittany has, but that doesn't make her feel any less guilty about it.
"It's complicated," Santana ends up saying.
Maribel nods like she understands, but Santana doubts she really does.
That's not on her though, that's on Santana because she makes every conversation about her feelings so difficult. She's not sure when the wires got crossed and everything started to feel like pulling teeth to her, but it's been like this for years and she hates it. It's like being honest with herself and her feelings meant going against this image she has created over the years.
Santana hates how she has played this role for so long – has tried to live up to everyone's expectations – that she doesn't know who she is anymore. Did she ever even know in the first place? The crazy thing is though, with Brittany she can see theses glimpses of her true self – the person she wishes she could be all the time if no one cared about reputations or sexuality.
Her feelings for Brittany came so easily, it was like the moment she laid eyes on the blonde at Puck's End of Summer party that was it. Santana was hooked then and there. She didn't expect Brittany to have that kind of effect on her, but here she is a few months later wanting to be the best version of herself…just so she can be someone Brittany deserves.
And really, it sounds like the biggest task in the world. To sort through everything that makes up Santana and pick out what's real and what isn't so that she can finally be herself…it's a lot. But, she's making some progress when it comes to her love life and that's half of the battle. The other half is about her future and she has only begun to voice her true feelings.
Santana picks at a thread that has come loose on her sweater and wonders aloud.
"Is Papi angry with me about what I said?"
There's a quiet sigh from the opposite end of the couch before Maribel answers, "He's surprised."
Santana bites her lip, unsure if that really answers her question. Judging by Hector's reaction and how abruptly her parents left after lunch, it doesn't look good for her.
"You should talk to him though," Maribel adds, "He won't begin to understand you if you don't."
Santana lets out a dry laugh and Maribel quirks her brow at that.
"What's so funny?"
Santana only shrugs, "I'm just not in the mood for another lecture."
Maribel straightens up as Santana continues.
"I don't know how many times I can apologize for things that I'm not actually sorry about," Santana says, "I wasn't really sorry for breaking JBI's camera or starting that fight with those jerks on the football team and I'm not sorry for wanting to go somewhere other than Harvard. I'm not, Mami, and I can't go up there if an apology is what he wants from me."
"That is exactly why you need to talk to him. Tell him what you just told me," Maribel replies before scooting closer to Santana, "Mija, you should never apologize for standing up for yourself. Granted, there's a certain way to go about it that doesn't involve your fists or football players three times your size…"
Santana ducks her head, "I'm really working on it."
"I know you are," Maribel replies, "But he doesn't and that's only because you talk to me more often than you talk to your father."
Santana crosses her arms protectively over her chest, "He's so hard to talk to."
"Doesn't mean you stop trying."
"Tell that to him."
"Go tell him yourself."
Santana looks wide-eyed at her mom, "Seriously?"
Maribel only reaches for her book, "Yes, seriously."
"But," Santana stammers, "He never wants to hear what I have to say and I'm not trying to be grounded for the rest of my life."
Maribel only chuckles, "You won't be."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because," Maribel replies, "One conversation between you two where you actually say what you mean and he actually listens will work wonders and I think now's the perfect time for that to happen. I think you're both ready to have that talk."
Santana bites her lip nervously, "What if it doesn't work out?"
Maribel looks to Santana and gives her this sympathetic smile, "Then he isn't the man I married and this might be an even bigger problem than I thought."
Santana's brows rise at that but she doesn't say anything more, just sits there in silence mulling over whether or not she's brave enough to actually face her dad. With everything currently on her plate, she doesn't think she's ready. If anything, she's drained and thinking about having to go up to Hector's office and have this talk just makes her feel even more exhausted.
Maribel watches Santana hesitate in leaving and reaches over to pat her ankle, "You don't have to talk to him today, but don't leave things unsaid for too much longer. The sooner, the better."
Santana nods, wondering where she's heard that before.
\\\\\
Later that night, Brittany's sprawled out on her bed watching footage of Carmel High's Championship game from last year. She wants to be more than prepared for their upcoming game in two weeks' time so putting in this extra work will hopefully help.
Brittany's about halfway through when her phone starts to ring on her nightstand. She glances to it, not expecting to see the name that pops up and quickly scrambles to answer the call.
"Well, look who got their phone back!"
Santana chuckles down the line, "Yup! I'm officially a free woman…again."
"Awesome," Brittany beams as she rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling.
She has been thinking about Santana since the moment she left the Lopez residence. This is her girlfriend and even though she has yet to say the title out loud, just thinking it makes the butterflies in her stomach go crazy.
"How'd the rest of your day go?"
Brittany tries to recall the past few hours, "Well, Pete kicked my butt in Monopoly. The kid is pretty ruthless, I wonder if he'll be some big shot business tycoon when he's older."
"That's cute."
Brittany feels like blushing, "How about yours?"
"It went okay," Santana hesitates for a moment, "I told my mom about us."
"You did?" Brittany's eyes widen and she can't hide the surprise in her voice.
"Yeah, is that okay? She asked if we were a couple after you left…I didn't want to lie."
A smile stretches across Brittany's face, "Yeah, that's totally okay! I wasn't sure if you wanted to tell people yet or…you know."
"Well, I'm trying out being honest for a change," Santana replies, "I figure if I have such an amazing girlfriend, why hide it?"
Brittany's jaw drops and she's so glad that Santana can't actually see her right now because she must be a sight to see. She tries to play off being so blindsided by Santana's glimmer of confidence by moving along the conversation.
"Sorry about leaving so suddenly earlier," Brittany apologizes.
"It's okay. Don't worry about it."
"So…Harvard, huh?" Brittany mentions, "I didn't know you wanted to go there."
"I don't," Santana answers with a chuckle.
"Oh," Brittany moves to sit up against her headboard wondering if this was the right topic to switch to, "Is that why lunch got weird when we started talking about college?"
"Kind of," Santana sighs, "I haven't told my dad yet and I probably should've instead of the way I brought it up today. I'm supposed to be a doctor like most in my family and Harvard is where they've all gone. It's kind of tradition."
Brittany frowns, "So traditions aren't just a Lima thing?"
"Not really, at least when it comes to my family," Santana explains, "It's a legacy thing."
"Is that what you want to do?" Brittany wonders, "Be a doctor too?"
"I'm not sure anymore. I feel like I have to redeem myself for all the crap I've put them through and going to Harvard is the guaranteed way to do that."
"But that's not fair to you," Brittany replies, "Especially if it's not something you really want, or is it?"
Santana lets out a tired sigh, "I've spent so much of my life being told what I wanted that I can't tell if it's what I really want or what I'm just conditioned to want. I mean, I like helping people but I don't see myself being a dermatologist like my Dad. Number one, it kind of grosses me out and two…I think it's boring."
Brittany giggles at that, "So is there anything else that does interest you? What about one of those kid doctors?"
"Me? Dealing with kids?" Santana lets out a bellyaching laugh, "Not a chance in hell, even if I'm making bank while doing it."
Brittany finds herself grinning at the sound of Santana loosening up, "Why not?"
"I'm not really the best with kids."
"Liar," Brittany teases, "You're great with Pete!"
"That's because Pete isn't like other kids, he's actually cool. Sick kids can be brats and I'm not down to listen to all that whining."
Brittany shakes her head and laughs, "Well, from personal experience I think you'd make a great doctor if that's what you want to be. You've taken great care of me a bunch of times."
"Thanks Britt," Santana says and the blonde can practically hear the smile she probably wears, "What about you? Any schools your mom is forcing onto you in order to uphold the family legacy?"
"No family legacy here," Brittany chuckles, "But Ohio State would be cool if I could get a scholarship for football, especially if those scouts looking at me back in Florida don't pull through."
"So that's where you're from," Santana jokes, "You've never said."
"Really? I swore I have."
"No, but it does explain a lot."
Brittany quirks her brow, "Does it?"
"Definitely. I was thought there was this different air about you," Santana explains, "It's probably because you're one of the few people here who have actually seen the ocean."
"Wait," Brittany chuckles, "You've never seen the ocean?"
"Nope. I've lived in Lima all of my life, never really left either."
"That's so crazy!" Brittany gasps, "I don't think I've ever met someone that hasn't seen the ocean. I didn't realize how much I'd miss it now that I can't go to the beach anymore. It used to be my favorite place, everyone has to experience it at some point in their life."
"Then I guess I'll have to check it."
Brittany softens as she imagines Santana and how she might react. She thinks about the cheek-bunching smile she'd wear and the sound of her laughter mixing in with the sea breeze. She imagines her being so carefree for once in her life and it makes Brittany smile.
"Maybe I'll take you one day?" Brittany finds herself saying.
Santana doesn't say anything for a moment and Brittany wonders if maybe she crossed a line or something? One day hints at a future together, maybe even one that lasts longer than the school year since taking trips to the beach isn't something they could do during the weekend.
Waiting for a response makes Brittany's heart thud, but soon Santana speaks up.
"I could be down with that."
"Yeah?" Brittany grins.
"As long as you're my tour guide, it sounds like fun."
Brittany bites her lip at that, once again super thankful that Santana can't see how her words can turn Brittany into mush.
"Sweet. So," Brittany hums as she sinks down into her pillows, "What else did you get up to after I left?"
"Not much," Santana answers, "Just finishing up some work before school starts up again. My parents went to my Abuela's house, they're still there so they must be having a good time."
Brittany can swear she hears sadness in Santana's tone, "How come you didn't go too?"
Santana doesn't answer right away and Brittany wonders if maybe she has breached a touchy subject. Before she can try and change the subject though, Santana answers.
"I'm not exactly welcome there anymore."
Brittany isn't sure what to say.
"She's not very…accepting. We haven't spoken since I came out to her. It didn't really end well for me and clearly she isn't interested in making amends so…"
Brittany can tell Santana's trying to be nonchalant about this but the sadness is so evident. It just breaks Brittany's heart and all she wants to do right now is wrap her arms around Santana, to make her feel safe and wanted.
"I'm so sorry," Brittany replies softly, "I didn't mean to pry."
"Don't be sorry. We're talking, you're allowed to ask questions."
"I know, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"You aren't. I promise, if you cross a line then I'll just hang up on you."
Brittany gasps but softens when she hears Santana's cute little giggle.
"Not funny," Brittany smirks as she turns off her bedside light. Now the light of her alarm clock is the only glow in the room.
"Kind of is."
Brittany shakes her head, her eyelids feeling a little heavier than before, "You should've texted me earlier or something. I could've invited you over for Monopoly, really test Petey's skills."
Santana chuckles, "Maybe next time."
"Maybe," Brittany accidentally says through a yawn.
"You sound tired," Santana mentions, "Losing is hard work, isn't it?"
Brittany giggles sleepily, "In most cases I'd say I wouldn't know, but since we're talking about Monopoly…yeah, it really is."
Santana laughs at that, "Do you want me to let you go so you can get some sleep then?"
Brittany rolls onto her side and snuggles into her pillows, "Not really."
"But you're tired, you should sleep."
"I know, but I like talking to you more."
"More than sleep? Aren't I special?"
"Duh," Brittany giggles, "I will gladly lose sleep over you."
"Okay," Santana laughs too, "How can I argue with such a smooth talker?"
"You can't," Brittany teases; she isn't even trying to keep her eyes open anymore, "Can you stay here until I fall asleep?"
"Sure Britt," Santana replies softly, "It doesn't sound like you're too far off."
"It's been a long day," Brittany mentions tiredly.
"Yeah?"
"Mhmm, but it's ending way better than it started."
Santana hums happily, "So… what do I talk about if I know you're falling asleep?"
"We don't have to talk," Brittany chuckles weakly, "Do whatever you were doing before you called and I'll just listen?"
"Oh, okay then."
There's a long pause and Brittany nearly falls asleep, but then she hears the melodic sounds of piano keys followed by a familiar voice singing so beautifully.
At first, Brittany perks up a little wanting to make sure that she isn't hearing things – that Santana really is singing to her. She's only ever heard Santana a couple times before and she usually stops when she realizes someone is listening, but it's not like that now.
Santana doesn't care about someone listening because she is singing just for her.
And wow, what a voice!
It's like rolling thunder with a warmth that reminds her of a crackling bonfire; Brittany hasn't heard anything like it. She can only smile as she lays her phone down on the pillow next to her, trying her hardest to will herself to stay awake even longer just so she can continue to listen to Santana's beautiful voice.
A/N - Sorry this took forever but better late than never, right? Thank you all for being patient. Not sure how I feel about this chapter but I'm sure you'll let me know if I've lost my touch LOL.