Next day- Raven

Last night feels like a blur. Sure I heard what happened and I sort of remember it but I don't remember much. Like why I reacted the way I did or how it even got to that point. I don't think Dick did anything to try to hurt me. It just all seems so confusing. Jason was with me in the medical bay most of the night. I didn't sleep much even when Vic said I could go to my own room. It seemed like I was up all night thinking about everything except relaxing. I can't just pretend that Dick isn't right. I have been a little weird since the whole thing with Jason happened. It's not easy managing PTSD. I just can't focus on it at all times. It's not even like I blame Jason. I can't ignore the effects it's had on me though.

However Jason seems to be putting too much pressure on himself. He is careful about the way he approaches me. He has been trying his best to make sure I don't feel worried about him and I don't. Not about him hurting me. I blame the Joker.

"Morning" Jason says besides, his morning voice deep and raspy. I look at him realizing it must be at least seven in the morning by now.

"Morning Jay" I reply, he stretched and turns onto his back blinking away the rest of his sleep.

"You feeling better this morning?" He asks sleepily I exhale deeply turning on my side to face him, the sun barely hitting his chest makes him look like some sort of God. Why can't he be unattractive. It would make everything so much easier. I don't understand why he has to look like he was made from stone.

"I don't plan on breaking any doors down if that's what you mean" I reply he smiles lightly

"Dick was so close to getting his ass beat" He says opening his eyes enough again to see me looking at him. "Do you remember what Cy said last night?"

"Not really, it's kind of a blur if I am being honest." I reply he nods clearing his throat slightly. Damn...his sleepy voice is my favorite. He rolls back over to me propping himself up on his elbow and forearm. His other hand brushing some stray hair out of my face. The palms of his hands are warm and inviting. I can feel the heat radiating off of him from being under the covers. I want to be closer to him.

"You told him you just didn't want to be in there. That he locked you in to talk and you felt trapped in some way. You started having an episode. Dick wears he didn't mean to do it and that he isn't the reason why but, I think he just feels like an asshole" Jason replies, I sort of remember what he is talking about now that he says it out loud. Like bits and pieces of it come together in one blurry picture but I can't see it clearly still. My fingers linger tracing the outline of each of the contours of Jason's body. It's soothing in a way.

"I don't think he meant to. He wanted to talk about his outburst and I just...I needed out of there. He seems to really hate the idea of you and I still." I answer, we haven't said if we are getting back together or not, it's been an off topic. Something we want to talk about but just don't know how after everything. It feels like getting back together is what we both want but we don't know how to even begin after what we went through.

"What about you...do you like the idea of it?" He asks I roll my eyes letting myself fall back till my head hits the pillow.

"You know I do. God he just makes me so angry." I reply he chuckles lightly

"He's good at that"

"How can he just say he is in love with me? He is in a relationship...He has never acted like he loved me. Didn't he put cameras in my fucking apartment?" I ask Jason nods

"Yeah, and the infrasound. It was to track your episodes. See if they escalated how you reacted. Like if you saw...you know who would you freak out and start blowing fuses again or were you stable enough not to. I didn't like the idea either trust me" Jason explains. That in itself makes me angry. You don't sneakily watch someone you are in love with unless you are fucking creepy. None of it makes any sense to me. He would on purpose make me see the man who put me through hell. He made me fight against myself time after time and he didn't care at all. He is using Jason as an excuse to tell me why I shouldn't be with him when he has no plans on being with me. Does he just want me alone?

"Do you love him?" Jason asks, I scoff

"I did once. When I was a teenager. I stopped loving him a long time ago though. Which is why I don't understand why he never stopped. It's not like we have had much interaction since then. I avoided him for three years. We only barely started to be okay with being civil because...we were grieving" I say angrily my words come out dripped in distaste and anger.

"I know we don't really know how to talk about it, fuck I don't even know where to start, The touchy feely shit isn't really my thing but I try to make it my thing...for you" Jason starts I look at him seeing his green eyes trying to read my expression. "I do want to give us another shot but I don't want to be the cause of any...episodes"

"I can't pretend it didn't make things worse. I just know it's not you I blame for it" I reply honestly "When I have episodes I don't picture you...or what happened. I picture...him. It's like I'm back in that fucking bunker or back in the infirmary at the tower taking those pills to..."

I trail off

"You don't need to talk about it...I know what he did. I know what he wanted. I don't need a reason to want to pull him out of the pocket dimension just to kill him and shove him back" Jason says even though he just woke up the danger in his voice told me he was serious. Not that I really doubted him. Jason has always been protective since we met it seems like. Even last night, before he even knew what was going on he leaped into action against Dick. However I slightly feel bad but the other half of me feels like he deserved it.

"What's been going on with Damian?" I ask, Jason clears his throat once again shrugging his shoulders.

"I think he has been dealing with some stuff with school. Bruce says he hasn't been wanting to go and has been leaving early. Then he comes home and doesn't talk to any of us. I think it's normal puberty stuff" Jason explains, It could be. I never really witnessed someone go into puberty. Never had anyone in my life long enough for that. By the time I met the Titans most of them were already in the middle of it.

"Maybe I should talk to him" I offer

"He does seem to like you. He doesn't call you by your last name." Jason replies I offer a small smile.

Standing outside Damian's door seems awkward for me. I mean just starting puberty what could he be doing in there? I wouldn't want to interrupt him. He could be sleeping, knowing these boys sleep is something they rarely allow themselves to get. I push aside those thoughts knocking on the door loudly. The door opens quickly a disgruntled Damian with bedhead stands in front of me. He is growing he used to be half my height and now he goes to my shoulders.

"It's you...good morning" He says

"Hi, look I don't know how to play the small talk card so can we talk?" I ask he nods stepping aside to allow me inside. His room is neat like Jason's. Organized with labels and colored coded. It is more neat than Jason's room actually and that I didn't think could happen.

"I appreciate you being straight forward" Damian says sitting onto the bed. I smile trying to figure out exactly to begin this conversation. He is like me, he doesn't like dancing around the point he wants to get straight to the conversation of everything. Which I can appreciate.

"You haven't been wanting to go to school...you leave early. You stay in your room. What is going on?" I ask he sighs deeply

"Did my father put you up to this?" He asks I shake my head

"No, I have noticed you have been off. I need to know why" I answer, it's true I haven't spoken to Bruce in days. He doesn't do much talking. He spends most of his time working. I have thought about going back to work with him, just to get out of the house sometimes. Though I can't even remember what all I did.

"The kids at school are assholes" He says his language surprises me for a moment. I have to remind myself he is older than when I met him. He is around the age I started swearing I can't really scold him for something I did and still do.

"What kids? Why?" I ask he scoffs folding his arms across his chest thinking about whatever has been going on with him. That's when I get the sadness he is feeling. It hits me hard like something shot at me. Whatever happened broke his heart.

"I made friends, or I thought I did. They hung out with me everyday and they talked to me about things. Then one of them had a birthday party. I brought him a small gift something I noticed he liked a lot. He got mad at me and told me to leave and all of them basically kicked me out. Now they all talk about me in the halls and online. Saying I am some sort of social reject because I didn't buy him something super expensive" he explains, his voice cracks slightly but he clears his throat wiping any trace of it away.

"So you didn't buy him something worth thousands of dollars and they don't want to be your friend anymore?" I ask he nods

"I don't understand! I got him something he really likes" He says it's then I hear how hurt he is. Even Damian can't pretend he has no feelings at all. He is so obviously hurt about this and I wish I could fix it. My heart almost breaks for him in a way.

"Those kids only wanted to be your friend for the money. They assume that just because you are a Wayne that you are going to spend money like crazy for them. I don't think they realized money isn't the only thing there in friendship though." I say his head is looking down and I hear a small sniffle from him. I suck at comforting people. Not that I don't want to I just don't know how, I always say the wrong thing and I never know what they need to hear. I put my hand on his back which is what Jason does for me. I like it.

"I have no one at school" He says

"Because no one wants to take the time to know you. You are a really sweet kid and they just don't know what they are missing" I say he looks up at me his green eyes pop with his bloodshot eyes. He wipes his eyes and sits up straight.

"If you tell anyone I cried I will kill you" He says I laugh

"It's our little secret that you cried okay?" I ask he nods

Present day-Tim

When Jason and Raven told me I needed to hack into some kids facebooks accounts and get them taken down I didn't think they were serious. However here I am clicking away trying to get them taken down. I didn't even notice Damian was having a rough time in general. However it seems like he is getting the treatment that Dick and Jason had to live with. Girls throwing themselves at their feet to get some of the Wayne treatment for money.

However Damian is at that age where instead of it being women it's little boys who want Xboxes and Ipads, none of them want to be friends with him because of anything other than that. I almost felt bad for him when Raven told me he got someone a gift he knew he would like but was rejected instead because it wasn't expensive. I guess even a Demon brat like that can have feelings. I have taken down three profiles so far.

"You can't do that. I think that's considered assault" Raven says I turn around looking at the two of them.

"No, I won't shoot them. Just scare them" Jason replies

"No! Red Hood already has a hard time getting his name in the right place. We don't need you soiling it by pointing your gun at a 13 year old" Raven replies, I hold in a laugh

"Do you have a better idea?" He asks she nods

"I use their nightmares against them and scare them shitless" She says I choke on my water

"I thought you were the voice of reason!" I yell she shakes her head

"I am! We can't point a gun at a child but I can send them to therapy" She replies, Jason snorts shoving his hands into his pockets. Here I thought Raven was the person with a leveled head but it turns out she is kind of just as bad as Jason. She is Jason is Jason was half demon. I resume back to taking down profiles while Raven and Jason argue behind me about which way to send a child to therapy. I have to admit it isn't the worse thing they can do.

"Okay done, all the accounts are taken down. Now which one of you is going to be scar a child?" I ask Raven raises her hand.

"I'm going to teleport into their rooms and scare them shitless, and I am going to take the thing Damian gave the kid back" She says I laugh shaking my head.

"You two are ridiculous" I say handing them the list of names and addresses they also had me collect. It seems so strange to me that Jason would go to such lengths for Damian. They have never seemed to get along much. Though it's hard for Damian to get along with anyone. As they leave I turn back to my computer logging out of the all the VPNS and backdoors I used to take down the profiles. It feels weird taking that information from kids.

It's even weirder to me that neither Jason or Raven brought up last night. That isn't something you just sweep under the rug and pretend didn't happen. I personally can't pretend I didn't see it. Raven doesn't ever look terrified so seeing her that way is forever burned into my brain. Seeing Dick behind the reason made me feel...I don't know how it made me feel to be honest. I didn't like seeing my brother being responsible for something so worrisome. However he doesn't seem to think he had anything to do with it. It's like he can't possibly be the problem when all he has done is make a mess of things because he doesn't have his emotions figured out. However that is Bruce's problem now, this morning Bruce called Dick into his office and they have been in there ever since. I wonder what they could be talking about for two hours.

Present day- Dick

When Bruce called me into his office I thought for sure I was going to be in trouble. I thought he was going to chew me a new one but he seems however to be approaching this more gently that I would have thought. I don't mind it. I have already beat myself up about it enough over the course of the eight hours I didn't sleep last night. I kept wondering if it was my fault after all. How could I have known she would panic though? I don't know much about her PTSD besides what I witnessed years ago and last year.

She used to have mild episodes even when were using the infrasound to track her reaction to episodes. I have figured that her PTSD wasn't that bad anymore but maybe that was because her powers were still blocked. Her powers could make it worse. I wouldn't know, I make it a point not to talk to her about her issues with that. I don't want to make it worse and she doesn't really want to talk to me it seems.

Bruce leans against his office chair looking at me over his desk. His eyes on me feels like he is analyzing every microexpression I do.

"Dick You can't keep doing this to yourself or the Team" He says I nod

"I didn't mean to, I still don't understand what happened last night" I admit he nods putting his hands together on his desk. He sits up straight leaning against the edge of his desk.

"When we did our recon on Raven's mental state we figured that she could fight the urge to lose her cool if she could snap herself out of it. She could tell it wasn't real because she used the common sense. He couldn't possibly be actually there right there all the time so she didn't panic too much. However she didn't know she was panicking here. She didn't know so she couldn't calm herself down like normal" Bruce explains, I guess it makes a little of sense. If you know someone can't be right in front of you but somehow they are you probably can calm yourself.

"So how did being in my room cause an episode?" I ask

"PTSD isn't as simple as reliving things. It could be related to feelings, she felt unsafe and trapped in that bunker with Slade Wilson and she felt trapped when you locked the door in demand she talk about something with you she didn't want to talk about. Similar feelings can cause attacks just the same." He says, I look down in my lap for a moment.

"I didn't mean to, I just...Kori found out I told her I was in love with her. I needed to get that talk out of the way so that I could fix it with both of them. She just panicked before I got the chance" I reply Bruce nods We have been talking back and fourth about this and our next move for Duke.

"I know you didn't mean to but you did it. I think you need to own up to it Dick. Even the best intentions can have the worst results. If you want to fix this you don't need to start with Raven, you need to start with Starfire. Then and only then should you talk to Raven about this. And don't lock her in your bedroom. Replacing that lock is harder than we though. Alfred needs more parts for it" Bruce replies, I nod looking down at the floor once again. I have a knot in my stomach I don't think I'll be able to shake until I speak to Kori. Bruce waves me off, his way of telling me I am okay to leave. I get up walking out of the room. The outside air feels less stuffy than inside the office. Cyborg is probably downstairs. I make my way there finding him and Gar having another arm wrestle, Gar in his gorilla form grunting with the pressure of Cyborg's arm. I watch entertained as Cyborg shoves Gar's hand to the table. He stands up hooting and hollering in victory.

"No fair you cheated!" Gar whines for a moment it takes me back to four years ago.

"I did not! You are just weak you little grass stain!" Cyborg shoots back, I chuckle making both of them turn their attention and their expressions change almost instantly.

"Hey...umm...I need a favor" I say nervously

"Which would be?" Cy asks his eyebrow pointed and staring me down. It's kind of intimidating if I am being honest.

"I need you to Boom me to the Tower." I reply Cyborg thinks it over to himself looking between him and Gar. "Come on, Gar can come with me and see Rae"

"I do kind of want to hold my daughter" Gar says looking meek behind Cyborg. Even though he is almost as tall as I am he still looks so small behind Cy. Cy looks to be trying to think it over, should he or should he not. I don't think he is really one to dictate when and how I fix my relationships. Finally he sighs looking back to Gar.

"Go see your kid" He says typing in something on his arm and pressing a bigger button on a halloghraphic screen. I hear the roaring noise of a Boom Tube opening up behind me. It's bright blue lights make it hard for to open my eyes but I have done this a thousand times before. Gar walks in first and follow. Somehow it doesn't seem so much brighter when you are inside. We walk through to the living room of the Tower, it hasn't changed a bit. Except the child toys all over the place.

"Ahhh! Beastboy Welcome back Amigo!" Jamie says opening his arms wide and wrapping them around Garfield.

" I just missed Rae, where is she?" He asks

"I think Starfire just put her down for a nap" Another voice says as Conner walks into view.

"Where is Kori?" I ask, Jamie looks over at me and I can tell he is holding back some of his own words. "Don't forget I am still in charge of this team even when I am away. Where is she?"

"She brought Rae's crib into her room so if she is putting her down for a nap she's probably in there" Jamie says finally looking away from me.

I nod heading in the way of where I know her room is. It feels nice being back here. I kind of forgot I had all of this waiting for me while I spend time at the Manor. It's been amazing though, I love being able to grow up with my brothers a little bit. Even with all the drama that has been happening lately. The door to her room is open and I can hear her whispering to Rae. I lean against the door frame as she gives Rae the plush bear she cannot sleep without from what Gar tells me. Rae grabs it from her. She is almost too big for that crib, it has an opening on the front which can make it a normal bed when let down. I knock on the side of the door frame. Kori looks up at me and her smile falls. She swallows hard.

"What are you doing here Dick" She says

"Come out here, I don't want you to keep Rae from her nap" I say she scoffs

"You are keeping her from her nap" She replies, I close my eyes lightly sighing. Why is she making this so hard.

"Kori can you let me explain, you heard one thing. You don't know the full story and you are treating me like this" I say she sighs walking near me, the fire in her hair seems to grow with anger and it makes me nervous for what she'll do when the child isn't watching. She closes the door behind her as she grabs my arm hard dragging me further into the hallway.

"Ow Kori" I say

"I don't need the full story. You told someone else you were in love with them? We have been the together for three years. You can't love someone the same way as you love me when you have been with me for three year" She says I sigh

"I know! I was just confused! Look, I have known about these feelings for a while but I have been trying to work through them because I don't want to be with Raven! I only want you" I explain, Kori scoffs again looking down to her feet.

"Does Raven feel the same way?" She asks now I scoff shaking my head.

"No, she is in love with Jason...I tried to clear this up with her last night to tell her I didn't mean for this to get so out of hand but she had a panic attack" I reply

"Is she okay?" Kori asks I nod

"She's fine. Look my point was that I don't want to be with her. Yes I have feelings for her I can't figure out but I am trying to. You are the girl I want to marry not Raven." I try to explain, I hope I am doing a good job I know when she is angry she can be more stubborn than Bruce. Which is not easy to do at all.

"Dick where did these feelings even come from? You two haven't been the friends in a while" She says

"I loved her before...you know everything happened with Slade. I thought when she stopped talking to me that I had moved on. Because I didn't feel anything for her then. When we finally were able to reconnect even when she hated me I still felt something. I have been trying to figure it out because it's confusing to me too. Maybe I just never worked through it? I don't know but I am trying. I never meant for this is affect us." I explain, she seems to be thinking hard her arms folded across her chest. I want to hold her already. I want to kiss her and move on from this mess.

"Why did you tell her?" She asks

"I didn't mean to. I was pissed off that she went and got herself hurt because she made a stupid choice. It slipped out and I regretted it the moment I said it because she wasn't supposed to know. No one was. I was supposed to figure it out on my own" I reply she looks like she is thinking more but her hard expression has faded into a still angry but not as angry expression. I just need to fix everything, I don't like the energy or the way all of this feels. I need to finally make things back to normal before I fucked it all up.