AN: waaah so busy. I'm sorry. I have definitely wanted to write – so don't worry, I'm not slipping off this story. Life has just kept getting in the way :( I'm shortly releasing the next chapter as it is another shorter one. Hopefully, it makes up for my lack of updates :)

* I do not own Twilight or the characters within this story, nor the songs.

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" Just know you're not alone, we'll always be your home.
So never give up hope and know you're not alone;
And you don't have to face this on your own
We said that we would live forever-
Well you laughed instead, you said we're dead.
So get this through your head,
I've got one more left.
You better be ready to bring us your worst,
This army is our family, oh, this is our family, and family comes first."

Family First – Woe, is me

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Carlisle ✦ Family First ✦ Amnesia

When we'd returned to the hospital, I was on for another shift overnight. The next day had been as gruelling as the last, though it had me at peace to know Alice had watchful eyes over Bella whenever I was on duty.

Having finished my paperwork and gotten changed into more comfortable clothes, I approached Ward Three once more, a slight hope in my still heart that I'd meet the brunette with open eyes.

Slight disappointment washed over me as I turned the corner, though I held a fond smile for the sweet pixie-haired girl by her bedside.

'Hey, Alice.'

'Carlisle! It's about time! I've seen so much happen. And yes, I know you've wanted an update since yesterday.'

'Well, any changes? Is she going to wake? I'm assuming you saw her not so great imaging results.' I asked with urgency, lips pursed.

'The vision of her waking hasn't really changed…' she paused, staring thoughtfully into my own gaze. 'Though I thought I'd let you know, looks like you'll be on Bella watch duty then. The day after tomorrow.'

I couldn't help but let a small smile creep through my tightened lips. After all we'd been through in the last four to five days, I couldn't imagine not being there for her when she woke too.

'Oh? What a shame for poor Bella, to wake up to a ghastly old man like me.' I chuckled, folding my arms. 'Will you be there, too?'

'However much I love Bella, I think you're right, unfortunately.' The despondent expression on her face spoke louder than her words. 'The less of us she knows, the safer she'll be. I'll keep watch from a distance once she wakes.'

It hurt to do so – with a lump readily rising in my throat - but I nodded.

'Yes, I think for now it's for the best. Have you any other news?'

'Oh, lots!' she winked, trying to induce a cheerier mood. She glanced up at me expectantly. 'Where shall I start?'

'You tell me, fortune teller,' I breathed out in a laugh.

'Ha ha, funny,' she stuck her tongue out at me. 'Okay, well. Because I know it's the top on your list, I haven't had much of a development with Victoria-'

'But, you've had a development?' I quickly cut her off, my gaze morphing into a serious glare.

'I wouldn't really call it that,' she laughed joylessly. 'But I've seen that she is somewhere north of here, over the Canadian border.'

I breathed a sigh of relief. So, she wasn't immediately hanging around for an opportunity to strike – yet.

'It's a good thing the others are searching north then. Should we call the others home, for now, and reconvene?'

She shook her head.

'No, I think Emmett and Rosalie need to stay on the hunt. It seems to go badly if they don't.'

'And Jasper and Esme?'

Alice tore her eyes away at the mention of the two names, seemingly tormented at the thought of them.

'They… should come home. Jasper's been missing me… He's worried about leaving me behind unguarded,' she breathed out slowly. 'Esme needs to go to Ithica, she's not coping very well…'

Esme. I had barely spoken to her in the last week alone. Of course, she would have been out of her mind about all this.

'I will call her soon.'

'It won't be pleasant.'

'Alice, it'll be fine.'

'Well, you need to come up with an excuse why you haven't been in touch that doesn't include her.' She nodded to the sleeping brunette. 'For everyone's safety, Esme cannot find out. She will tell Edward. I see that clearly no matter when or how.'

I paled, if that were possible.

'Oh.'

'I do however, want to tell Jasper.'

'Alice, we spoke about this, it's not safe for the others to kn-'

She shook her head, commanding me to shut my mouth with a pointed glance of those glowing golden eyes.

'He's suspicious. Don't forget he can feel what we feel, and he will question our feelings as soon as we meet again. It's safer to tell him.'

'But Alice, that's one more person we have to shield from Aro. And Aro would have a vested interest in Jasper.'

She shrugged.

'It's worth the risk. He wouldn't push to know the truth, but you and I both know he's smart enough to work it out for himself, which would be just as bad for Aro to see.'

Ugh. I glanced over at Bella once more. What an entangled mess all of this had caused.

'Okay, but I want you to rehearse your sights and pick the best time and way to tell him. I guess a third person to watch over Bella would be a good thing.'

'Of course. You should also talk to Rosalie. She's contemplating telling Edward about Victoria. But, she'll listen to you.'

I could have facepalmed. She had expressed she wasn't happy about the idea of keeping Victoria and Laurent from Edward, but I thought we'd already doused her flames.

'Okay. Thanks, Alice. Let me know how things go with Jasper. We can start rostering him in for Bella watch – it will give you more time to track Victoria.'

'I need to call him now,' she murmured, standing up. 'Good luck with Esme and Rosalie.'

After a quick squeeze of my shoulder, she left me to sit by Bella's side alone.

The sound of her breathing had become such a comfort to me. It exemplified that she was secure, safe. It brought my own mind from calamity to calm.

I stared down at my phone, contemplating my words to my wife. I didn't really even know how to lie to her, if I was honest. The only person I wasn't regularly honest with was myself, but Esme – well I had never lied to her before this last week. I had never held anything from her before. It felt wrong. Foreign.

But, this would be for her safety. For the family's. For Edward's. For Bella's.

My thumb lingered over the call button. I gulped and pressed.

'Carlisle! Where have you been? I thought you were going to meet up with us?! Did Alice not tell you that Victoria had fled North?' came her panicked voice in a flurry of words. I cringed at each facet I would have to cover up.

'Oh honey, I had to tie up loose ends at the hospital – Victoria and Laurent had killed an innocent and potentially attacked another. They're expecting me to speak to investigators and I'd rather not draw the Volturi here. I'm sorry I hadn't been in touch. They laid a fake track heading South and I fell for it.' Although I hadn't really told a lie, every word withholding the truth from her burnt my tongue.

'Carlisle, I'm scared. She's been stalking us this whole time… what if she means for revenge?'

'She won't hurt our family any more,' I growled, eyes flaring in the direction of the brunette before me. 'Alice has indeed been in contact with me. She's also mentioned that right now she seems to be acting alone. Alice agreed that we should hunt in pairs.'

'Will you hunt her with me, then?' her voice pleaded.

I sighed. She couldn't come close to the hospital.

'No, dear. I need to stay here until the local stories blow over and help co-ordinate with Alice. I think you should go back to Ithica and stay safe.'

Guilt swelled in my chest, restricting my airways and entangling my heart. It ached so much to keep Bella from her, even if it were for both their benefit. Esme had been fond of Bella – she would want to know. It wasn't fair that I keep her in the dark. It tore me up inside.

'Do you not think me capable of facing her? I need to protect my family!' Her voice rose.

'Of course I do, Esme,' my voice pained. 'But I want you to stay safe, too. Victoria is cunning. I don't want to risk her hurting you when I can't be there to protect you.' I don't want you to get hurt like Bella. I clenched my jaw.

'I understand that, but I can't just do anything either, Carlisle.' Her voice was firm.

'I'm not asking you to not do anything… I'm only asking you to stay safe. The other four will look for her from here.'

'Edward should know about this…'

I laid my eyes on Bella; her chest gently rising and falling with each soft breath. The frostbitten feeling of guilt was overtaken with the fiery burning desire to protect her.

'Esme, no. He might make a brash decision to try and deal with her on his own, and that's not something he'd positively win, nor do we know about how the Volturi would deal with that. We will wait until we have gotten Victoria.'

'But he-'

Venom stung my eyes, pleading to tear out and run down my face.

'No. We can't lose him more than we already have.' We can't lose her. I was sure she could hear the ache in my voice now.

She sighed in response.

'I guess it's been a while since I was at Ithica now…'

I nodded to myself.

'Yes dear, and I know you come back so happy whenever you go. She knows of our house here I'm sure. You'll be safe there.'

'Okay. But please, Carlisle, keep me in the loop. I'll head down in the morning.'

'Of course. I need to get back to my rounds. Stay safe. I'll call soon.'

The line clicked.

I felt like vomiting from the vile lies that had left my lips. I let out a stuttered breath. I wished to purge the sins I had committed. The feign calm I expressed to my wife, withholding Bella from her… Things I had not known myself capable of. But it'd be worth it, to save her. To save them all.

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Hours had passed as I sat slumped with my eyes closed next to Bella's bed. A nurse had popped in once or twice that I could detect, but otherwise, I was alone with the unconscious young woman.

My mind was in overdrive. I hadn't expected it to hurt so much to lie to Esme, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I had never once kept anything from her let alone lied to her.

A minuscule part of me found it thrilling, but mostly I was flooded with guilt and self-contempt.

I would have to pick myself up though; I had one more phone call to make before my next shift. Another unpleasant conversation. Another web of lies. My stomach turned at the thought.

I called Rosalie's number.

'Hello, Carlisle?'

'Yes, it's me.'

'Why are you calling? Is everything okay?'

'Yes. Listen, Alice has been talking to me…'

'Oh, what now?!' she griped.

'How is that spunky girl?' Emmett's voice interjected.

'Emmett!' Rosalie screeched. After a moment, her voice returned to its regular musical tone. 'Well, what's wrong?'

I paused.

'She has disclosed that you are thinking about telling Edward about Victoria…'

She harrumphed on the other line.

'What would be such a big deal if I did? He deserves to know. Esme agrees.'

I sighed.

'Yes, Rosalie. It would be a very big deal. Alice says it goes very badly if he finds out at this stage. He may leave the Volturi to look for her.'

'I mean, would that be such a bad thing? It's been so many years already. He deserves better.'

'Rosalie. He has indebted his life to the Volturi. He cannot simply leave. It is safest for everyone that he doesn't know.' My voice was rising, now.

'Carlisle,' she mimicked my serious tone. 'Edward would want to know about this. She's one of the reasons he's there to begin with. And the Volturi were meant to have dealt with her already!'

I growled deep in my throat, my eyes narrowing and glaring into space. I stood up out of my seat, feeling restless.

'There are no exceptions. He is not to know. We are not losing, not one other person in this family-'

'If you're referring to Bella,' she cut me off, her tone callous. 'She is not a part of this family. Edward is. And he's stuck there because of her.'

'Rose!' Emmett's voice sounded, apparently with a similar amount of repulsion to my own thoughts.

'Don't you go there, Rose,' my voice spat, thick with ire. 'He is also alive because of Bella, don't you ever forget that.'

It generally took a lot for me to get angry, but Rosalie had me on the edge of fury. I knew she harboured ill feelings towards Bella, but this was hardly a time or place for such resentment. And how she could continue to resent such a pure human such as her, I could not fathom.

'Whatever.' I could hear the eye-roll in her voice, which only made my face tense more. 'Look, if you and Alice say that he shouldn't know yet, fine. But he needs to know at some point.'

'Thank you, Rosalie.' I managed to grit out.

'Take care of Esme. She's not doing the best. She let Emmett and I know she's heading back. We think we have a lead up here.'

'Good luck with it. I'll get Alice to help you, she's almost finished tying up loose ends here with me.'

'Yup. Talk later, Carlisle.'

'Later Dad!' Chimed Emmett.

My marbled skin prickled as the line hung up.

I should be used to Rosalie's cruelty, but today all I had felt was wrath. Usually, I would blow it off, or give her a sideways unapproving glance, but this time, I had wanted to scream at her. To shake her. To think Bella not one of us? Unacceptable.

Even back when we had dealt with James, Bella had been family then, too.

'Could you put these on so the tracker will pick up Bella's scent?' Edward held out a collection of Bella's clothes to Rosalie, including her coat.

'Why? What is she to me?' Rosalie spat, folding her arms.

'Rosalie. Bella is with Edward.' I said, darting Edward a glance before returning my stern gaze to the blonde. 'She is part of this family.' I picked up the coat, holding it out to her 'And we protect our family.'

Unlike with Esme, I had not cared that I had lied to her today. I just felt angry. How would we get through to her? Would she come around?

I couldn't see a world without Bella in it. I knew Alice had felt the same. Esme would too, if she had known the recent events that had passed. We would not lose her. Never again. Rosalie would have to see that, too.

I slowly sat back down into my seat.

I timed my breaths with the Brunette's, attempting to calm myself.

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Hours passed; another shift, another number of breaks by her side, another cheerful bump into the Pixie haired girl with the sweet smile, another day.

Tomorrow, Alice had said. Tomorrow, those earthy orbits would open to the world. I let a gentle smile play upon my lips as I made my way down to the familiar ward.

Something wasn't quite right when I had finally reached my humble abode.

My eyes widened at the sight; Bella was tossing and turning slightly in her unconscious state, biting her lip and gently moaning. A bad dream, perhaps. I reached down and gently stroked her hair away from her eyes, attempting to calm her. I continued to stroke her forehead, my fingertips tingling at the heat emanating from her skin.

I succeeded; her body settled, her breaths normalised, and her features fell peaceful.

Although whatever she had been envisioning may not have been pleasant, it did make me feel warm to think that she had shown evidence of a more conscious state. And, I'd be lying to myself if I said that it didn't make me feel that little bit warmer, that she had been soothed by my touch.

I gazed at her, a smile clinging to my lips.

'Not long now, sweet Bella. All will be okay.' I whispered, pressing those smiling lips to her forehead.

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Extended AN: These quotes are from the movie Twilight:

'Could you put these on so the tracker will pick up Bella's scent?'

'Why? What is she to me?'

'Rosalie. Bella is with Edward. She is part of this family. And we protect our family.'