I hastily pulled a bone out of my pocket. My phone fell out in the process but I tried to ignore it. Ok, let's get started. I rolled up my left sleeve. I took a deep breath. I'll cut the top of my arm. We'll be doing this for a while so I should save the good spots for later.
As I pressed the bone to my left arm I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched. I looked around and no one was there. I still had this feeling burning in the back of my head. Ok, now you're getting paranoid… Great, fuck it! I began to make the oh so familiar lines across my arm. Before the cuts began to bleed I was in euphoria. I exhaled as if I was smoking a cigarette. It stung a bit but I wanted more of this feeling. Like a greedy child.
I raised my right arm, bone in hand. The cuts I made before began to bleed. Just as the bone was going to hit my arm I stopped. My brain decided to make me think about the people I care about in the underground.
"Mom, P-Papy, Grillby." I whispered into the darkness as I imagined how they might react if they saw me like this. Papy wouldn't understand what I did. Mom would have her heartbroken. I'd try to play it off but they'd know. Grillby would try to help me but I'd just lie till he thought I was ok. They would be so sad to see me like this. Why does my brain have to be like this?! One minute I'm guilting myself into cutting now this! Why do I feel bad about cutting?
I can't be normal! Normal people don't do this! I clench my hands. Normal people don't have to bleed to be ok. I'm such a good for nothing I can't be myself in front of the people I love! My head was throbbing from my crying. I didn't realize I've been sobbing this whole time.
I rubbed my face trying to get back to reality. Maybe I should call Grillby? No, that's a crazy idea. But I could just pretend that this never happened? Yes, I could! If he saw my new cuts I could just lie and say there were the ones Sans walked in on! I'm a genius. I should wash off all the blood before though. I put away my phone and bone as I walked to the nearby river. Out of nowhere, I lost my balance and fell. I instinctively blocked with my arms. My left arm was on top of my right.
I looked at my bleeding arm. Now it was a bloody dirty mess. I resisted the urge to dust off all the dirt. It stung but a cocky idiot like me deserves to suffer. Thinking I'm a genius. Calling Papyrus a nickname even though I don't know him. After wallowing on the floor I eventually got up.
I went to the river to dip my arm into the icy cold water. Shivers went down my spine. I watched my blood and dirt mixed into the water. It was beautiful watching them swirling in the water together. Soon after that, I saw this yellow tentacle wrap around my arm! It was like I was in a horror movie. It was real though I felt the slimy suction cups on my arm.
Maybe there is actually a God and I'm finally being punished. I ignored the urge to try to run away. Despite every bone in my body saying otherwise. I need to stay. I deserve this.
I watched in fear as I saw the beast rise from the water. I bet it's going to be a five eyed, two rows of razor-sharp teeth, that's hungry! I shook my head. I want this, I need to die. I repeated this in my head until I could see the creature's face.
The giant octopus was cute? They had these big eyes that were fixated on my arm, their lip quivered as if they were going to burst out in tears, and their nose was running. What was happening? But before I could open my mouth they cut me off.
"Are you dying? You're turning into dust right before my eyes!" Why do I always get caught?! It started with Papyrus now this. Well, they don't know what I did. They just think I'm dying… Oh, wait they think I'm dying! I've always been bad at dealing with other people's emotions. Now I have to deal with this. Take a deep breath, put on a smile you could talk your way through this. No normal people don't smile in these situations, right? They let go of my hand and cried into their tentacles.
Think Frisk think. They think I'm turning into dust so we could tell them the truth. I pulled down my sleeve and put up my hood to hope they haven't realized I'm human yet.
"No, no I'm ok. I just tripped and got dirt on my arm. It's ok. Look at me." I said trying to imitate Mom's calming voice. I just realize that when they thought I was dying they thought I was turning to dust. They peeked out from their tentacles. "See I'm fine."
"But are you sure you're ok?"They said worriedly. Are they still concerned? They are too sweet for me. I'm guessing normal monsters don't know that humans bleed. I took a mental note of this.
"I'm ok!" I said cheerfully with a smile. "Thank you for worrying about me. By the way, my name is Frisk. I never caught yours."
"Oh, my name is Onionsan! Onionsan, y' hear!" They were overly friendly like Mom. She hadn't seen a human for years and she was lonely. I'm willing to bet that they're lonely too. This is good for me falling back into my old ways.
"So how do you like Waterfall?" I said walking to the other side of the hall.
"It's my big favorite." They said with stars in their eyes, no trace of their tears from before. How can normal people go from sad to happy so quickly? It's not them it's me for being so screwed up!
"That's great! I bet there are a bunch of places for you to swim." My smile began to strain. But I gotta keep it up. I'm halfway out of here. Onionsan deserves only the best of me.
"The water is getting shallower and I have to sit down all the time but ya! Undyne is going to fix everything y' hear! I'm gonna get out of here and live in the ocean. Y'hear!" Great… The water getting shallower and soon they won't be able to swim. It's all my fault if I could just die! They could go to the surface. Like Mom said Asgore has six souls and all they need is mine.
Undyne could fix everything if I COULD DIE! My hands were clenched shut. The pain from my nails helped me think clearly enough to continue talking.
"Yah Undyne is soo cool! Actually, I'm looking for her right now. She's supposed to be beating up some bad guys and I wanna see!" I said imitating the kid from earlier. I left the room but I poked my head towards Onionsan to say goodbye."Bye-bye Onionsan! I'm glad I met you."
"I'll see ya around have a good time! In Waterfalllll" They said Waterfall as they went underwater. I took a sigh of relief and let my face relax.
What's wrong with me!? I thought to myself as I walked down the cavern. They were so nice and I left! Why can't I die? If I could die the whole underground could thrive. I don't even know where I'm going anymore. I'm a piece of trash in the middle of an ocean. Ok, we are going to a bad place. Let's just concentrate on the scenery like before. As if that helped.
I looked around and I saw nothing familiar. But that's to be expected. I've never really known anything around here. I'm so dramatic that I was busy with my own insecurities that I wasn't paying attention. I could have missed a bar or some 'healthy' way to stop thinking.
I looked to the side of me. There was a lonely horned statue being rained on and I was so tempted to take off Papyrus' jacket to shelter it from the water. This shouldn't be in the water. It's already had a hard life. The statue was cracked and scuffed. Worst of all there are chunks of stone on the floor from the sweet statue. It had such a hard life being stuck in the rain and who knows what else it's been through.
I looked forward and I clearly saw umbrellas. For some reason, I have set myself on a quest to save this statue. I ran towards the umbrellas to save this little statue. I picked a red umbrella. I struggled to open the umbrella but eventually, I got it. I placed it on the statue and I was satisfied. I stood there in victory then I heard something.
The statue could play music? It was so beaten up but it could still play a catchy tune. I walked away before I ruined the moment with my idiotic thoughts. I ignored the umbrellas as I passed by. It's not like it's raining anyway. Then with my luck, it started to rain after I walked far away from them.
But this was ok. I like the rain. I looked around cautiously checking to see if anyone was around to tell if I was human. When I declared the coast was clear I took off my hoodie and looked up to let my face feel the tiny cold water droplets fall. I continued to wander down this raining hall with my face getting soaked in the process.
When I saw a puddle I couldn't help but jump in it. I don't know why I love the rain. Ever since I was little I loved getting drenched in the rain.
" You can't hold an umbrella either? If you're walking anyway, I guess I'll go with you, haha" I heard the kid from before say. I quickly pulled up my hoodie in fear that they would hate me or more inconveniently kill me. I thought about how odd it was that the people in the bar didn't kill me or Papyrus. Most people down here knew the fact I should die except for them.
"Ok let's go!" I said pointing forward. We began to walk. I noticed they were shivering. Should I offer them Papyrus' jacket? It has that beer stain though. "Hey wanna borrow this jacket? Your shivering over there."
"Yo, that would be so cool of you!"They said excitedly. I'm so stupid they could clearly see that I'm a human without my hood on. How could I forget that? But I already offered it! They'd hate me and think I'm selfish if I backed out now. I quickly took off my jacket and put it on them.
"Tada, you're warmer now right?" I said running ahead so they couldn't make out my features.
" Yeah, it's warm. Slow down I wanna catch up to you!" They shouted, running towards me.
"Nuhu you'll never catch me alive!" I excitedly giggled with a smile ear to ear for them. Looking over my shoulder I saw that they almost caught up to me. Speeding up I hugged the wall as I made a sharp turn. Then I heard a thump.
"I'm fine!" I heard them declare. Stopping in my tracks I turned around to see them with a smile. "Yo, I caught up to you!" They were so happy. They'd hate you if they knew that you're a human. Shut up.
"Pfff no you cheated." I said keeping my head down and crossing my arms. It's true they would hate me. I'm the one person in the way of giving monsters freedom.
"How?" They asked as we began to walk.
"Well… You tripped and I was worried!" I made an impression of Papyrus with my own flare. I waited for their response but after a point, they just stopped and stood there. I went to look at what they were staring at. My jaw dropped to the floor.
"I-it's beautiful." I whispered under my breath. It was an amazing breathtaking castle. The castle had this glowing blue roof and a warm gray base. I was enjoying the view until a thought hit me like a bullet. I don't deserve any of this. A wonderful person and a gorgeous view.
You should be suffering. Imagine you having your neck bleeding like a faucet. Alone and hurting. I felt my throat tighten up. No no! Keep it together.
"Should we get going or do you want to stay here a bit longer?" Why would they want to go anywhere with you? Shut up shut up shut up! Why do I always do that?! Normal people don't think in the second person! Normal people-
"We could get going! We'll miss Undyne if we stay here." They began to walk and I quickly followed. It was dead silent. They walk fast so they can get away from you. No, let's think about something else. Should I ask them what their favorite color is? No that's stupid and generic. Um, ask them about their favorite band? Yah that's good ok. I'll ask them… Any second now…
"Hey what's yo-" I tried to ask them the question but they stopped and talked
" Yo, this ledge is way too steep... Yo, you wanna see Undyne, right?" They asked. You don't deserve their kindness. I just have to say no nicely.
"No it's ok you should go see her. You're her number one fan!" I said with enthusiasm.
"Climb on my shoulders. Yo, you go on ahead. Don't worry about me. I always find a way to get through!" They reassured me.
"Will this make you happy?" They nodded their head so quickly that the hood fell off. "Ok but I need to have that jacket back." I'm taking way too much. Their chance to see their hero and that warm jacket Papyrus let me borrow.
"Sure you just need to take the jacket off for me!" I questioned this for a moment but then I remembered that they were armless. After that, I quickly took off the jacket and put it on.
"Are you sure you want me to go ahead?" I said double checking to give them a chance to pull out of this.
"Yup now climb on my shoulders." When they mentioned climbing I got a little nervous. What if I hurt them? Or I might be too heavy. I speedily climb their dinosaur body hoping if I move fast they wouldn't feel my weight. I looked down to tell them a cheerful goodbye.
"Bye! Promise you will catch up, ok?" I waved to them.
"Ok, I will! See ya later!" Just like that, I was only left with my thoughts.
AN: Thank you lovely people for reading my story! Sorry, I haven't really updated this story but ya know school... Anyway, I hope you have a great day!