Hermione walked to the apparition point, wondering if wearing heels, however comfortable they were, had been the smartest choice to get through Hogwart's grounds. Thankfully, the summer weather was nice so there was no mud that put her at risk of slipping.
It had been ages since she had dressed up for something, last time being Fleur and Billy's wedding more than a year ago. She wasn't sure if she her green dress was too elegant for a celebration at the Burrow, since Molly used to set a big table on the garden if the weather allowed it, which was the case.
But she had felt the need to dress up today, for a number of reasons that she couldn't really order in priority. After months of living in a tent in the woods, wearing the same clothes day after day, she felt that wearing a fancy dress and nice shoes would make her feel like a normal human woman again, and not a war fugitive. Also, some part of her felt the need to impress her friends, so maybe they would have a harder time ignoring her existence as they seemed to be doing lately most of the time. To that purpose, she had even spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to straighten her long hair, which, for once, made her miss her muggle electric straightener, which she preferred over magical methods that struggled to tame her thick curls.
But there had been another reason, one she wasn't even willing to admit to herself. After the other night with the time turner potion, she had been feeling awfully rejected and humiliated. She had opened her heart to Professor Snape, revealing her true thoughts about him, allowing herself to believe for a moment that said thoughts were reciprocal when she caught a glimpse of jealousy in the man's eyes at the mention of Ronald… But once again, her attempts of getting closer to him and earn his trust had resulted in cruel remarks meant to push her away. She had felt incredibly embarrassed upon realizing that he didn't see her the same way, and that his despise towards her remained intact.
The Potions master hadn't even acknowledged her intelligence coming up with the idea for the potion, though to be fair, Hermione didn't know if it had actually worked. For the past two days, she had ruthlessly fought the urge to go ask him if there had been any results, and had even avoided showing up at the infirmary altogether, in case she accidentally ran into him there. He had made pretty clear that he would do perfectly fine without her, so her wounded pride wasn't willing to show any interest, even if she was dying to know. Madame Pomfrey hadn't shown up to meals either, which could be a good sign or a terrible one.
So Hermione had focused her full attention in catching up with her library work, barely speaking a word to another human being for two days, before preparing herself to go spend the weekend at the Burrow. Now, even if it was shallow and stupid, feeling pretty while crossing the castle grounds infused her with confidence to leave it all behind and enjoy herself at Harry's party.
After the familiar uncomfortable whirl, she stretched her arms to maintain her balance. The view of the old crooked house hit her unexpectedly with a wave of nostalgia. So many things had changed since the last time they had all been there. She walked slowly towards the main door, which was open, so she let herself into the kitchen. "Hello?" she called, hearing distant voices but not sure of where they were coming from.
"We're out here!" Molly's voice greeted her from the garden.
Hermione walked across the room towards the back door, but something caught her attention on the dark hallway. She stopped and narrowed her eyes, trying to see better. Indeed, there was a piece of white cloth covering the rounded mirror in the wall. She frowned, puzzled. Was it some sort of sign to show they were grieving? She vaguely remembered reading something about muggles covering the mirrors on their houses after a loss… but she found it strange that wizards had also adopted that tradition. Maybe it was something Mr Weasley had heard about too?
"Grim, isn't it?" a sweet, feminine voice said behind her back.
"Fleur!" Hermione turned around to hug the french witch. Even though she hadn't gotten the best start with her back in fourth year, everything had changed when they took them in at Shell Cottage after their escape from the Malfoy Manor. Fleur had been extremely understanding and kind to her, gifting her that glamour bracelet with her grandmother's moonstone. "What is that about?" she asked her, pointing towards the mirror again.
"George asked them to do it." Fleur explained with a sad look. "He couldn't stand the sight..."
"Oh, God." Hermione covered her mouth, horrified by the thought of having to see the face of the person you had lost every time you saw your own reflection for the rest of your life.
"I know. We were hoping he would get out of his room for the party but..." Fleur shrugged, pointing her head upstairs. "Come. Everyone will be so happy to see you. You look so pretty!"
Hermione gave her a warm grateful smile, and followed her elegant steps towards the garden.
"Hermione!" Ron greeted her, as they straightened the linen tablecloth. "Glad you're here! Could you please tell Mom that there is no point in going back to Hogwarts next year?" he asked, throwing her an exasperated look.
"Hello to you too." Hermione replied, her heart sinking a little inside her chest.
"Welcome, dear!" Molly said, though her eyes were still fixed on her son's face. "Are you really asking Hermione Granger to dismiss the importance of a proper education?" she asked with amused disbelief.
"Precisely! She can tell you better than anyone that we learnt all we needed to learn this past year! What's the point in spending a whole other year of stupid assignments and homework when we've already reached N.E.W.T level magic on our own?" Ron insisted vehemently.
Molly snorted, shaking her head. "The fact that Hermione has taken her N.E. doesn't prove that you would pass them, Ronald!"
Ron turned towards her hoping for reinforcements. Hermione bit her tongue, though she secretly agreed with Mrs Weasley. However, she decided to provide a more neutral answer, in hopes not to upset any of them. "Well, I guess it really depends on what you plan to do next, right?" she suggested with a nervous smile.
"Exactly! Thank you!" Ron nodded in her direction with a wink.
"And what's that, Ronald?" Molly placed her hands on her hips, throwing him a skeptical look.
Ron's posture suddenly changed, his puffed chest deflating and his smug grin fading. Hermione frowned, sensing they wouldn't like the answer.
"Well… I've been thinking… now that…" Ron lowered his voice, throwing a quick glance towards the windows on the second floor. "George will need help with the shop, Mom. He can't run it all by himself."
Molly looked as if she had been slapped back into her heartbreaking reality. She lowered her hands and looked away, grabbing some napkins and placing them absently on the table. "Well, today's not the day to discuss these things. Let's bring out the food." she said, and promptly disappeared into the kitchen, though they were able to hear a soft sniffing sound coming through the open door.
"Well, it's the truth! She asked…" Ron defended himself, shrugging. "Anyway, how are you?" he walked towards her with a smile. "Did you bring Harry's present?"
"Ahm… I didn't. I'm sorry." Hermione apologized, biting her lip.
"Oh… I was counting on that." Ron said, disappointed.
"Well, I've been very busy. Maybe you could have bought something, given that you're..."
"That I'm what?" Ron inquired, his face darkening.
"Hermione!" Harry's voice interrupted what was about to become a tense conversation.
"Harry! Happy birthday!" she greeted him, turning around to hug him.
"How are you? Did you get your results back?"
"Not yet." Hermione answered, at least glad someone had remembered.
"What about your mysterious patronus? Did you read my letter?" Harry asked, intrigued.
"What mysterious patronus?" Ron came closer, baffled.
In that moment, Molly came back with a large trail of sandwiches, and as if she had rang a bell, a group of red-haired people came out of the house almost immediately. Hermione hugged Ginny, Percy and Bill. "Charlie couldn't make it but he sends you his love, Harry" the latter explained.
"No one touches the food until your father's here!" Molly warned them with a movement of her wand, that emitted some red sparks. "Ron, Ginny, help me bring the rest out!" she ordered the two younger siblings, and they obeyed rolling their eyes.
Harry took Hermione's arm, gently moving her away from the table to a more private part of the garden. "So?" he asked eagerly.
Hermione sighed, figuring that sooner or later she would have to tell him. Throwing a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure no one could hear them, she proceeded to briefly tell him about the Shrieking Shack patronus. Harry's eyes widened, though he didn't interrupt her until she was finished.
"Well, that explains why Snape survived. I was so sure he was dead when we left, I couldn't believe he had made it."
"Yes..." Hermione nodded. "Though it doesn't truly explain anything, does it? I've been doing a lot of research and still haven't found a single clue about what happened that day."
"Did you tell him? Snape? Maybe he was the one to conjure the patronus..."
"Of course I asked him! He denies it. I don't think he even believes me, to be honest." Hermione said, with a hurt tone.
"It's so weird…What are the chances that we know two people with the same corporeal patronus?"
"Who says we know the savior?" Hermione replied, shaking her head. "There are too many questions, I don't even know where to begin." then, she suddenly remembered the insight she had had three days ago by the lake. "Wait!" she grabbed his arm. "I completely forgot about this! There might be something..."
"Look who I found at the door!" Arthur Weasley's voice startled them as he walked into the garden with long strides, his hand on the back of an older man that Hermione didn't recognize.
However, Harry walked past her towards the newly arrived. "Mr and Mrs Tonks, thank you so much for coming!"
Hermione followed him, and was introduced to Tonk's parents and her baby, Teddy Lupin. She watched Harry taking the toddler in his arms, and how his hair changed colors when he tickled him.
"Weird image, huh?" Ron said amused, leaving the last plate on the table and walking towards her. Hermione nodded with a smile. It was indeed very weird to witness Harry in such a fatherly manner.
"I like it." Ginny confessed, slightly blushing.
Now they were all present, they sat around the table and began eating and talking. Hermione had expected a sadder mood, but they all seemed eager to take their minds off their sorrow for a while, and she realized Harry's birthday had given them the perfect occasion to do so without feeling guilty about it.
The sun came slowly down, the blue sky turning pink, then orange, and finally dark purple. Molly lit some floating candles over the table, as they continued to enjoy the remaining dishes and beverages. Finally, she got up and announced it was time for the cake.
They all stood up and sang loudly to a very embarrassed Harry, that leaned forward to blow the candles as quickly as he could to end the awkward moment. When he straightened his position again, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Happy birthday, mate." George said with a poor attempt of a smile. It was the first time he had gotten out of his room for more than a quick visit to the bathroom or kitchen. His voice sounded hoarse as if he hadn't used it in a long time. Suddenly everyone was deadly quiet.
"Thank you." Harry said, also hoarsely. "Er...do you want some cake?" he dared to ask, fearing that he would scare the twin back to his room again.
"Well, I didn't come all the way down just to pat your back, did I?" George replied, grabbing an empty plate.
Molly's eyes were full of tears but she didn't say anything, trying to keep acting normal. The others resumed their conversations as well, and soon they were lively chatting, though the laughing from before didn't return.
Once cake was finished, they finally got up from their seats, and Ginny suggested they played a game of magic cards. Tonks parents excused themselves explaining that they had to bring Teddy back home and put him to sleep since it was already past his bedtime. Harry thanked them again for coming, and promised little Teddy that he would visit him soon.
Molly and Arthur decided to go inside and make some coffee, George disappeared into the house, while Ron, Fleur and Bill joined Ginny for the game.
Harry and Hermione decided to take a little walk around, enjoying the cool nocturnal summer breeze.
"I'm sorry I didn't bring you any present, Harry. Maybe we can all go shopping at Diagon's Alley tomorrow, see if we find something you like... Though, that reminds me, I have something of yours." she searched into her little purple purse, and took out the invisibility cloak.
"So you had it! I have gone mad looking for it!" Harry exclaimed, relieved.
"I'm so sorry! I put it away it the day of the Battle… and then I forgot to give it back to you." she apologized.
"It's okay, I'm just glad I haven't lost it. It's not like I'm gonna be needing it much these days, right? No impending danger from which to hide ourselves anymore." Harry smiled, relaxed.
"Right..." Hermione nodded, deciding it was best not to mention her brief but terrifying encounter with those two Death Eaters at Snape's house. But then, she had an idea. "Actually Harry… would it be too much if I ask to borrow it again? I promise this time I will send it over to you the minute I'm done."
"Sure, take it. Is everything okay?" Harry asked, concerned.
"Yes, everything's fine." she reassured him with a confident smile, and then she tried to change the subject. "How are things going with Ginny?"
Harry's eyes unconsciously drifted towards the red-haired girl who was apparently crushing the others on their game, by the looks of her triumphant smug smile.
"Couldn't be better." Harry said with a sweet smile. "We finally decided to go back to Hogwarts together for our last year."
"Really? That's great!" Hermione clapped, feeling suddenly more hopeful about the future knowing that they would be returning to the castle.
"Yes. It wouldn't really be necessary, you know? Kingsley wrote the other day… He said that if I wanted a position in the auror department, they'd be glad to have me."
"Without your N.E. ?" Hermione asked with disbelief.
"Apparently they consider me to have other qualifications." Harry remarked with a humble smile.
"Of course you do. I'm so proud of you, Harry!" Hermione gave him a quick hug. "But then… why are you coming back to Hogwarts?"
"I don't know… I guess I just want to have another normal year, you know? To be able to relax before taking in any new responsibilities… And I think that I should properly finish my education. After all, now I have someone to be an example to." he said, thinking of the blue-haired baby.
"And I guess it doesn't hurt that Ginny will be there..." Hermione softly hit his ribs with her elbow.
"You're so perceptive." Harry joked, and they both laughed. "That's one of the main reasons, yes. If I were working in the Ministry and she was still going to school… I just think it would be very complicated to see each other or to be together, having such different lives. And honestly, I'm done waiting to be with her."
Hermione smiled warmly, though his words had brought a realization. She wasn't sure of what she wanted to do yet, but whether it was an Apprenticeship or maybe exploring a career in healing arts, she was pretty sure that she wanted to stay in Hogwarts and learn from the splendid wizards and witches there. Meanwhile, Ron had made it clear upon her arrival that he had no intention of returning to school, and his plans were pointed towards helping George with the business. Even if she had barely thought about Ron in a romantic way ever since their conversation in Hogsmeade, Harry's words made her realize even more that she wasn't able to picture a future with him any longer.
As if he had heard her thoughts, Ron got up from the table, and walked towards them.
"What are you two up to?" he asked, and by the annoyed look on his face, both his friends were able to tell he had lost the game and he was in a bad mood. "Any more mysterious patronus that I don't know of?" he added, slightly offended.
Harry threw Hermione an inquiring look, as if asking for permission to share her story. She hesitated for a moment, but figured it wasn't fair to keep Ron in the dark if both of them knew.
"Hermione was just telling me about what happened when Snape survived." he revealed.
"Oh, really? I thought you said you had just found him unconscious." Ron said, surprised.
"It wasn't actually like that… but I wanted to be sure before I told you anything else." Hermione explained.
"Thanks for the trust, 'Mione." Ron frowned.
"It was not about trust, Ronald." she said, irritated. "Besides, it is not like I've had many chances to talk to you about it since the battle, have I?"
Ron's frown increased, and he crossed his arms with a childish expression. "You had an entire evening at the Three Broomsticks last month."
"Well, it didn't feel right to discuss Professor Snape's privacy in front of a whole pub of people staring at us." Hermione defended herself, also crossing her arms.
"His privacy? So now you have more loyalty towards Snape than towards your own friends?"
"She's not saying that." Harry intervened, trying to calm the spirits. "What matters is that she told us now and..."
"She hasn't told me anything yet." Ron remarked.
"Maybe if you would stop complaining for a second…" Hermione replied sarcastically.
"Stop it, both of you." Harry sighed, exasperated. "This is the first time we're all together in a long time and it's my birthday, so will you please stop fighting?"
They both lowered their eyes, embarrassed, and relaxed their defensive postures.
"That's better." Harry said with an approving nod. "Hermione, I am just glad that you're telling us this tonight. Maybe we can help you figure it out."
"Thank you, Harry." Hermione nodded, though Ron blew with annoyance. "What?"
"Nothing. I'm just not really in the mood for another treasure hunt after the horcrux search. Do you really need to figure whatever it is out? Why don't you just leave it? He's alive, isn't he?" Ron said irritated.
"Well, yes..." Hermione conceded, slightly embarrassed. "But we don't know how it happened. Maybe it's a new discovery in magic and..."
"What's the point?" Ron interrupted her impatiently.
"The point? Well, I don't know Ron, knowledge? Our evolution as wizards? A potential way of bringing back people from the dead, I wonder who could possibly be interested in that!" Hermione replied with acid sarcasm.
"Yes, that's all great, but why does it have to be us? Why is it always us? It happened to Snape... so why doesn't he go figure it out? I'd love if we could just get to live a little, you know? Don't you get tired of being constantly in research mode, Hermione? Can't you just bloody relax for once?"
Hermione didn't respond, instead, she lowered her gaze again. There was clearly no point trying to explain her motivations to him. Once again, Harry decided to intervene. "I am also curious about it. Now I truly am sorry that Snape didn't come."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, confused.
"Well… I invited him to come." Harry confessed, bracing himself for their reaction.
"What!?" both their voices said at once. "That old git?" Ron added with utter disbelief.
"Ronald!" Hermione scolded him, unexpectedly hurt by his insult. She was also surprised about Harry's invitation, though that confirmed why Snape had known that she was going away for his birthday.
But Ron ignored her and moved closer to Harry, looking him straight in the eye hoping to find any signs that it was a joke. "You invited Snape to our house?"
"I invited him to my birthday party, yes." Harry confirmed calmly. "He is the reason I even have a birthday to attend, remember?"
"He is the reason we all do." Hermione added firmly.
"Have you two gone mad?" Ron looked at them alternatively with perplexity. "Harry, you know as well as I do that he didn't do any of it for you! He never cared about you, you said it yourself!" he yelled, hoping to get some sense into his obviously deranged friend.
"That doesn't mean I can't be grateful for his help." Harry stated with a shrug.
"Alright, be grateful mate, send him a box of chocolate frogs or something! But don't invite him to a dinner party with all of us!" Ron opened his arms in a vehement gesture. "He's a git and an arsehole and he has tortured us for years. He's insufferable! I don't think anyone here would choose to spend even a minute of their time with him unless they were forced to do so! He doesn't have the least social skill and…!"
"That's so easy for you to say, Ronald!" Hermione snapped suddenly. Both boys looked at her surprised. "It's so easy to judge someone for their complicated personality when you've had an easy life! When you have been born into a loving family that took care of you from the beginning, that made sure you were safe, and when you've had no problem making friends! Has it occurred to you that maybe Harry is able to show some compassion because he knows what it's like to grow up unloved?"
She realized she had crossed a line only seconds before Ron's explosion.
"An easy life, you say? You think I don't know how unfair life can be? MY BROTHER JUST DIED!" his face was purple with rage.
"And here I thought that would grant you some empathy!!" she retorted.
Ron was gaping like a fish, so mad that he was speechless. Harry placed himself in between them, trying to contain the violence, looking at Hermione.
"I think you should apologize. Ron is right, Snape's hard life doesn't justify..."
"Of course you would take his side!" Hermione spat, rolling her eyes that were rapidly filling with tears.
"I'm not taking anyone's side!" Harry protested. "I know you mean well, but I think maybe you've been away for too long to be really aware of how things are here and how Ron is feeli..."
"And that's my fault!?" Hermione yelled with a bitter laugh. "I'm the one who is away?" the tears were flowing freely down her cheeks by then. "You know what? I think you're right. I think I don't belong here anymore." she said, and she turned around and began walking furiously towards the other side of the garden.
"Hermione! That's not what I said!" Harry yelled, uselessly trying to stop her, though neither of them followed her steps.
"Let her go!" Ron said, loud enough that she could hear him. "She's clearly dying to go give Snape the love he never had!"
Hermione turned around with a loud gasp, so shocked that she even stopped crying. Something broke inside of her in that moment. What she had considered unbreakable, shattering into a million pieces. There was no possible answer and she didn't have the strength to fight anymore. She took a deep breath, and with a loud crack, she disappeared into the black night air.