Hey, guys!

Here's the Christmas chapter! (I've been looking forward to this since I started a book that takes place in December, lol.)

Shout out to the real MVP Ozzy for beta reading 10k+ words in one evening. Love you to pieces!

Chapter Ten

For the first time in his life, Adrian woke up late on Christmas Day. The sun burned brightly through the curtains in his room and onto his bed. He figured that Ana had probably opened all of the presents and had completely forgotten to wake him up. Though normally his mother would make her wait until everyone was awake before they got started.

He was exhausted though. A part of him wanted to go back to sleep under his nice warm covers instead of getting up. He wasn't sure that he was ready to be around people yet. Not when he could continue to sleep.

As soon as he curled back under his covers, the door banged open. He wanted to yell at Ana for running into his room without knocking, but he wasn't sure that he would have the heart to do that to her. Especially on Christmas Day. He knew that she was excited, and his mother probably convinced her to wake him up.

"Adri, what are you still doing sleeping, Silly? It's Christmas!"

As soon as he heard Imogen's sickly sweet voice, he was brought back to reality and Adrian's heart shattered. Ana was dead, killed by his own choices. She wasn't here to celebrate Christmas. That's why he had slept in. It had nothing to do with her excitement, rather it had to do with the lack of it. She was gone.

He didn't want to cry in front of Imogen, but the tears started before he could stop them. He hadn't been awake long enough to firmly establish the walls that had to stay up in order for him to make it through the day.

"Adrian?" Imogen's voice was soft and gentle, it also sounded slightly startled. He doubted that she had walked in and expected him to start crying.

She sat down on the edge of his bed, then helped him sit up. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know that this is hard. It's hard to be so happy when you've lost people that you love. Especially on days like these ones."

Adrian wiped his eyes, but it was basically useless. The tears hadn't stopped yet. "How do you do it?" He asked as he pulled his legs up to his chest, his ribs throbbed in protest, but he didn't move them.

Imogen shrugged. "Would you believe me if I said that I don't know?" She said. She sounded apologetic, like she wished she knew how to help, but she didn't know. "I guess I just try to focus on the next breath."

Adrian nodded. He leaned his head on her shoulder. The faint scent of rose perfume seemed to calm him just slightly. He knew how to bring down his walls around his cousin in a way that he couldn't do with Leander, any of the selected, Jensing, or even his father. "I wish life was fair. I would still have my mom and sister, and you would still have Victoria," he said.

Imogen swallowed hard. "I miss her so, so much," she said, her voice wobbling like she would burst into tears at any second. "I would give anything to have her back."

Victoria had been Imogen's fiancée. Two weeks before they were supposed to get married, Victoria was hit by a car. She had survived the initial accident, but she died right before Imogen had been able to say goodbye. Adrian knew that Imogen had never forgiven herself for not being there when she died. It only became more apparent to him when Imogen was old enough to legally drink. Drunk Imogen had told him a lot of things that she never would have shared with him if she had been sober.

"I know," he said.

"It'll be two years next month," she sighed. "Time is a weird thing when you're grieving, Adrian. It goes by as quickly as lightning, or moves as slow as molasses. Every day feels like an eternity, but then you look back and it's been so, so long without them."

Adrian didn't reply. Instead he looked down at his hands, at his long fingers and smooth fingernails. He didn't know how Imogen had managed to survive two years without Victoria. Adrian felt like he would be crushed by the grief. Every day without Ana and Aurora was torture. It was like the world wanted him to hurt, and he did.

"Adrian," Imogen began. He looked up at her. Her eyes were misty with tears, but she had kept them at bay. Unlike him. "We should probably go downstairs and spend some time with the selected, but I want you to know that even though I can be a spoiled little asshole, I am here for you. If you ever need to talk, you can come to me. I don't know what happened between you and your father, but this isn't your fault and you don't have to hold it all in. Trust me, Adrian, you can't do that. It will destroy you."

Adrian threw his arms around her shoulders into a tight hug. A few shuddering sobs left him and she started to rub his back. "Thank you," he whispered. He wanted to say more, but he knew that his voice would crack and the floodgates would open back up again.

Imogen held him for another moment, then pulled away. "Now you're going to make my mascara run if I start to cry, so none of that," she told him, there were tears behind the playful tone of her voice. She sniffed, then fanned her eyes with her hands. "Now, let's go downstairs and open our gifts. I'm hoping for a live tiger."

Adrian nodded and followed her, but he hoped for the sake of the entire palace that Imogen didn't get her live tiger.

Adrian watched the selected from the armchair in the corner of the room. He had new dinosaur socks from Melody on his feet, a blanket from Davina wrapped around his shoulders, and a mug of hot chocolate in his hands.

He hadn't truly recovered from his memory lapse earlier in the morning. The throb of grief continued to weigh on his chest as his mind constantly wandered to the small wrapped box in the drawer of his desk. It was Ana's Christmas gift. He wasn't sure what he would do with it now that Ana was gone…

"Adrian?"

Adrian looked up, then smiled. "Merry Christmas, Jehan," he said. If he was honest, the kiss they had shared in Ana's room was still fresh in his mind, and it only added to the sting of everything else.

"Merry Christmas," she said. She sat down on the floor beside him. Like everyone else in the room, she was still in her pajamas. They were gray and had little polar bears in Christmas hats all over them. Adrian thought that it was adorable.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

"Jehan, it feels so weird," he said. "Upstairs in my desk is a necklace that I was going to give to her, but now it's just sitting there… And I keep expecting her to run in and pull me into her room to play with her new tea set. Did you know that my parents were going to get her a tea set for Christmas? I know that I would have avoided playing it with her because I'm her older brother and I am not a fan of tea parties, but I would give anything to play it with her one last time. I want her back. Jehan, I want her back so badly. I would give up everything I have to spend just one more day with her."

Jehan pursed her lips, then looked down at the ground. She traced figure eights in the carpet with her index finger. "I know that nothing I can say will ever fill this gap, so I'm going to ask you something and I want you to answer honestly," she said. She looked up at him, her brown eyes deeper than the largest hole in the world. They glittered in the light of the fireplace, casting a red and orange hue into them.

"I'll try," he told her. There would always be questions he wouldn't be able to answer, whether they involved secrets of the country or just questions about what had happened over the last few months.

"How can I help you?" She asked as she placed her hand on his.

Adrian closed his eyes. He felt so broken inside, like he was a glass vase had been shattered into a billion pieces and was forced to pick up all of the pieces by himself and now his hands were bleeding from all of the broken pieces.

"Help me remember," he said, his voice cracking as he spoke. "Help me remember her before the attack instead of what she is now. Help me remember my baby sister as the person she was. You girls remember what she was like in her last few months, I don't."

Jehan nodded. "I'll do my best, Adrian," she said. Their eyes were locked, and Adrian couldn't help but notice the look in her eyes. He wasn't sure how to explain it, but it reminded him of a time when people actually cared for him. When he wasn't responsible for the deaths of his mother and sister because of stupid decisions. Did she really care about him? No. That wasn't possible. No one could actually love him. Not after what he had done.

Before Jehan had the chance to move away, Adrian threw his arms around her. She had no idea what this meant to him. "Thank you," he whispered.

Jehan gave him a tight squeeze, then pulled away from the hug. "Of course, Adrian," she said, and Adrian thought she was going to say something else, but decided against it at the last moment.

They still sat close to each other even after the hug was over. Adrian could feel her warm breath when she exhaled. Her breath was minty from the candy cane Adrian had watched her eat before had she walked over. Normally he could consider her in his personal space, but he didn't mind it right now.

"Are you excited for the party?" She asked, she didn't look at him when she spoke though, her attention was on the tree.

Adrian nodded. "I think so," he said. "I'm excited to see what you all put together. I know it's going to be amazing."

"It's beautiful in there," Jehan told him. "Imogen and Melody put the final touches on it last night. I didn't even realize that Christmas decorations could look so festive and elegant at the same time."

Before Adrian could reply, the door opened and Imogen, Jensing, and Leander walked in. Beatrice was sleeping against Jensing's shoulder, and there was a glass of wine in Imogen's hand.

"Merry Christmas, everyone," Imogen said. "I hope you all had a good morning. It's time to take the festivities to the parlor."

The parlor was gorgeous. It looked like a winter wonderland. The girls had used the cream colored walls to their advantage and chosen blue and silver as their color theme. In the middle of the room was a small Fraser Fir, Adrian assumed Imogen or Jensing had picked it up the night before. They were the only ones that were allowed to leave the palace without permission, after all.

There was mistletoe hung in random spots throughout the room, and Adrian assumed that he would be giving out more than one kiss if he wasn't careful. He would have to be more careful than ever this year…

In the background, there was soft music playing. It seemed to be an assortment of Christmas music. Some of them had lyrics, others were just instrumental. It added a warmth to the party that only the fire rivaled.

"So, what do you think?" Jensing asked as she walked up beside him.

Adrian turned towards her and smiled. Her hair fell in curls over her left shoulder and was pinned away from her right side with a piece of holly on a barrette. She was elegant and beautiful, but it didn't stop him from remembering the truth. She wasn't his anymore. He had the Elite. Besides, she was his best friend. Those feelings were long gone.

"It's beautiful. Even the royal party planners couldn't have done this well. You girls really outdid yourselves," he said, then cleared his throat. "How is Bea?"

Jensing sighed. "Well, it would be a lot easier on all of us if she wasn't banned from the palace. Do you know how hard it is for my family to take care of a baby who isn't even allowed to be at the place we all work at. I shouldn't even have her here now."

Adrian ran his fingers through his hair. "I'll talk to my father about it," he said. "And I won't let you get in trouble for bringing her here today. I won't let him do anything to either of you."

"Thank you, but I don't want him to do anything to you either," she said as she adjusted her hold on Beatrice.

"Can I hold her?" Adrian asked. It had been so long since he had held a baby. "You can go interview some of the selected for The Report or something."

Jensing grinned, then pinched Adrian's cheek. "How could I ever say no to someone as cute as you?" She asked playfully. He was so glad that even though they had broken up, and that he had been forced to move on, that they were still so close. He couldn't imagine ever hating Jensing.

She passed Bea to him, and he instantly pulled her close. She was heavier than he had expected, but lighter at the same time. He wasn't exactly sure that he was supposed to be holding her with all of his injuries, but he didn't know if he would ever be able to hold her again. He found it so sick that his father had banned her from the palace. It was so unfair.

"Hey, there," he whispered as he began to rock her. She was so precious. Her light hair was just starting to grow, and her chubby cheeks were a soft pink against her pale skin.

"I'll be back in a bit," Jensing said. "Take good care of her, Adrian."

Adrian nodded, but he didn't look up at her. He was too focused on the baby in his arms. Little Beatrice Evarette Angelov. "Okay, have fun," he told Jensing.

Jesing smiled. "You too, Adrian."

Once Jensing walked away, Adrian sat down on one of the couches in the parlor. It didn't take long for him to start absentmindedly humming along with the Christmas music that was playing in the background. There was a lull of chatter between the girls that almost soothed Adrian. As much as he hated to admit it, he was nervous and fidgety. It was the first time that he had been at a party with all of the girls since the attack. He found himself glancing at the windows every time a tree branch was blown in the direction of the window, and sitting up straighter every time a maid walked by the doors.

He wasn't just nervous because of what had happened during the last party, but if there had been a hit ordered on him or any of the selected they were all in the same spot. If someone were to do anything it would be the perfect time to do it. Beatrice was here too, so were Imogen and Jensing. He couldn't let anything happen to them. He was already responsible for the deaths of his mother and sister, he couldn't add to that list.

"Adrian?"

Adrian nearly jumped out of his skin, which startled Beatrice. He began to rock her to stop her fussing. "Sorry, Everleigh," he said. He cleared his throat. It had gotten surprisingly tight. "I guess I was lost in thought."

Everleigh tilted her head, her blond curls falling over her shoulders. "No, I'm not sure that you were," she said. Her voice was firm, like she wanted him to talk to her, but gentle enough that he knew she wouldn't be upset if he didn't tell her.

Adrian shrugged, then winced as Beatrice whined in protest. He couldn't tell her. At least, not everything. "I guess I'm just a bit nervous," he said. It wasn't the whole truth, but it was enough. "This is the first party since the attack. It's making me a bit jumpy, I guess."

Everleigh frowned, then leaned forward. "Do you think that there's going to be another attack?" She asked, her voice soft, but not hesitant.

Adrian on the other hand, was very hesitant. These thoughts and worries that he had were just that. He didn't have any sort of evidence that it could happen again. It was just nerves. "Well…" He began, then bit his lip. His father would kill him for being so open with these kinds of thoughts. "Everleigh, if the attack was because someone had a hit ordered on them, then this party would be the perfect place for another attack. We're all together in the same room. The only person who isn't here is my father, but we're all in here. It would be so easy to take us out."

By the look on Everleigh's face, Adrian knew that he had overshared. He was so stupid. No wonder his father didn't let him speak during meetings. "Sorry," he said quickly.

Everleigh shook her head. "No, don't apologize," she said. "I can look into it if you want me to. I was wondering if it was something like that too, but I just thought it was just my brain coming up with theories."

"You would do that?" He asked. He shifted Beatrice in his arms, she was a heavy little thing for being so tiny…

Everleigh shrugged. "I mean, I would need access to the files, but I do want to look into it if I can," she told him.

Adrian nodded. "Merry Christmas, Everleigh," he said. "You now have access to any files involving the attack and any resources you might need while looking into it."

Everleigh grinned, then hugged him. "Thank you!" She exclaimed. "You're the best."

Adrian chuckled. "Now, I don't know about that," he said, then cleared his throat again. "Would you like to hold Bea for a bit? I have to go say hi to some of the other selected."

"Sure, why not?" She said as she picked up Beatrice. Adrian tried not to shiver as the warm baby was removed from him. It was like someone had replaced the baby that had been in his arms with an ice cube.

Adrian sat there for another minute, then stood up and walked over to a group of girls. Their conversation stopped as soon as they saw him.

"Miss Greensmith, may I have this dance?" He asked as he extended his hand to the girl standing in front of him. He hadn't spent much time with Kelly since the attack and he wanted to get to know her better.

Kelly twirled a strand of hair between her fingers for a moment as she bit her lip nervously. She seemed to be contemplating the offer, and Adrian stood there and waited patiently for her response.

"Uh, sure," she said, though her voice was barely above a whisper as her cheeks turned a dark pink.

Adrian smiled, then led her to the small area towards the speakers. He pulled her close, so close that he could feel her breath against his shoulder. "Do you know how to dance?" He asked.

"Sort of?" She responded. "We took lessons during the beginning of the selection, but I wasn't the best at ballroom dancing."

Adrian nodded. "Well then, we just won't do that kind of dancing," he said as he began to sway and move across the empty space. "Besides, this music isn't good for waltzing anyway."

They might have been in their pajamas, their hair might have been messy and it might have been an unorthodox mix of every dance Adrian had ever been taught, but the two of them got lost in the music and each other. They spun, stepped, and dipped more times than Adrian could count. They danced until the shapes of people and furniture around them became nothing more than blurs as they sped up.

Then Adrian crashed them into a table and brought them both down to the floor.

"Adrian!"

Adrian shook his head as he tried to pull himself into a sitting position. That had hurt. His hip felt like it had been hit by a truck. He must have been dancing pretty fast if he hit the table that hard.

"Are you okay, Kelly?" He asked as he stood. He held out his hand to her.

"Yeah, I think so," she said, her face red from blushing. She grabbed his hand and pulled herself up. "Are you okay?"

Adrian nodded, then grinned. "Let's do that again!"

King Abernathy watched the selected from the doorway. He watched as Adrian danced with some of them and flirted with others, not that he had ever been very good at flirting.

He watched as Lady Melody ran around the room with a sprig of mistletoe and planted a playful kiss on the cheek of anyone who got between her and the mistletoe. She also put it between unassuming girls. It seemed to be all in good fun though as many of the girls just brushed it off and playfully pushed her away.

Then she put it between Adrian and Jensing. King Abernathy felt his blood boil as Jensing and Adrian looked at each other. He could still see it in Jensing's eyes, he could tell that she still loved Adrian even if she wasn't allowed to admit it anymore. He watched as Adrian and Jensing stood there awkwardly, neither of them doing anything.

Then Adrian bent down and kissed the top of Beatrice's head. King Abernathy hadn't even seen her nestled peacefully in Jensing's arms. It was all he could do not to go in there and drag Adrian into his office for one of the worst lectures of his life, but he stopped himself.

If Adrian was enough of an idiot that his secret got leaked, that would be his problem. King Abernathy would make him deal with it. He wouldn't help him cover up the mistake like he did last time.

King Abernathy watched for another few minutes before walking back to his office. If Adrian's secret came out, it would be a disaster. It made King Abernathy want to protect his own secret even more. No one could ever know what he was hiding. It wouldn't just bring him down, but all of Illea too.

Adrian could hardly keep his eyes open as he tried to read the last page of a report his father had placed on his desk earlier in the day. He knew that royalty didn't get the day off, but he really wished that he could just put off the work until after Christmas Day was over.

He looked up when he heard the knock on his door, then glanced at his clock. It was late. Everyone in the palace would normally be asleep or at least in their beds.

He stood up and walked to the door, but his heart pounded faster with every step. He felt that at any second he would be attacked by a rebel who wanted him dead.

When he opened the door, he let out a sigh of relief. He cleared his throat. "Lady Christine, is everything alright?" He asked as he walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.

Adrian took in her expression and his heart began to beat faster again. She looked mad.

"When were you going to tell us?" She asked, her voice sharper and more dangerous than any knife or sword. "The wedding? The honeymoon? After the first baby? Or would you just keep it a secret forever?"

Adrian took a step away from her, his back hitting the door. His eyes watered. Why was she yelling at him? Did she blame him for the attack too? Of course she did. They all should. It was his fault.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he told her. "I don't know what I did."

"Yes you do know," she said. "I know that Beatrice is Jensing's daughter. And that she's yours too."

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! What about that plot twist? This one was really fun to write! Please follow, fave, and review! I would love to know what you thought!

Thanks for reading! Love y'all!