12 Weeks Pregnant

Jo was finally feeling more like herself as she came to the end of her first trimester. It really felt like she was getting somewhere, the tornado that had hit her life since she'd seen Alex at the conference was finally settling and she could see a light at the end of the tunnel.

They'd made a new deal, she would be as honest as she could be and he'd do the same, whatever they felt good or bad they'd agreed to tell each other. A weight had been lifted since her outburst a few weeks ago, she wasn't holding it all in anymore and now people knew she was surprised by how much support she had at Grey Sloan and she shouldn't have been really, these people had been her family for years now.

Jo and Alex had fallen into a steady rhythm, he always tried to meet her at around lunchtime they'd discuss the baby, how it would work with Alex being in Kansas, they'd come to no real decisions but it was a start. For the most part, their conversations had been around their current workload or something funny Mia or the twins had done recently. They rarely mentioned their past together or baby mamas and dead husbands.

However since Alex had headed back to Kansas for the weekend he'd been more attentive than usual, texting her pretty much every hour on the hour. Jo had refrained from telling him to fuck off knowing he was overcompensating to try and quell the fears she'd exposed a few weeks ago.

He'd even face-timed her from the airport, he made a huge show of letting her know he'd be boarding the plane and unable to talk for the next few hours. Jo had rolled her eyes ignoring the way Meredith raised her eyebrows as she'd laughed at Alex's dramatic nature when he'd got one of the air hostesses to explain to her the length of the flight.

It didn't feel like a dramatic change but she knew that was the way it looked to others but honestly, they had been slowly chipping away at the ice block between them for some time now.

Carly had helped, it had been a bad idea to avoid her appointments but it had felt like such a mammoth problem at the time and Jo couldn't see a way through it. She knew seeing Carly would make her face it head-on. However her episode in the on-call room had made her realise she couldn't risk her health, she had Mia to think about and so back to her regular appointments she went. She wasn't quite ready to talk about Alex again but sorting through her emotions about the pregnancy had helped a lot with relaxing around Alex, working hard on letting go of the past so that she could focus on building a new relationship with him that was focused on co-parenting this new baby while trying to keep a hold on all the progress she'd already made.

Another bonus of finishing the first trimester was that the all-day sickness that had been overtaking her life was finally starting to subside. As she finished scrubbing out of a very successful surgery which had not included her needing a vomit break Jo was about to go down to the cafeteria when she spotted him, leaning against the wall casually outside of the O.R.

"See this 10 minutes early," Alex smirked, holding up his watch to show her the time, making Jo roll her eyes as she began down the hallway Alex falling into step beside her.

"Did you have a nice time? How were the twins?"

Alex's face lights up at the mention of his twins pulling his phone up to show Jo the photos of his kids. "Got to see their soccer matches on Sunday and then we went for ice cream."

"Sounds good…oh I got this for you by the way." Jo smiles excitedly digging through her lab coat pocket, she was sure she'd popped it in there earlier ready to give to him on his arrival.

She pulls the black and white photo out from the pocket of her lab coat, her own copy already pinned to the fridge at home.

Jo watches as Alex's eyebrows furrow talking the photo from her hand slowly, his eyes scanning over the photo as they wait for the elevator.

"You went to the scan without me?" His mutters staring down at the photo she'd slipped into his hand.

Jo shrugs as the doors to the elevator slide open. "So what?" She hesitated, waiting to press the button as Alex stands dead still staring down at the scan in his hands. "Alex I'm busy. I'm a single mother working full time. I fit my scans in when I can and I do not have the time to liaise everything with you."

She tries to keep her voice light, keeping the smile on her face hoping they can avoid any fallout as his eyes slowly drift up to meet hers, she can see the hurt clouding them.

"It's my baby." He grumbles as he follows her into the lift.

"Don't keep reminding me." Jo jokes, the smile falling from her lips as his eyes darken. She notes the anger that's simmering below the surface slowly, she's not scared of him, she never cares for him but she's in no mood to fight right now.

"Don't be a bitch Jo."

He was annoyed, the anger evident in his face. He hadn't spoken to her like this since he'd been back, he'd never raised his voice once, not even when she yelled at him. He was exhausted, he was exhausted being the guy that just kept receiving the hits, he knew he deserved them he did but he couldn't keep doing this, he couldn't keep fighting with her, he just wanted to be seen for the guy he was, the guy he thought everyone knew he was. He'd made a bad choice, a bad call but he did it for the right reasons, he did it because it was the only way he could see but he is still the guy that would go to prison for her, the guy that would throw away his medical license without a second thought, he'll he'd throw himself in front of a bus for anyone in this hospital, he thought they knew that. He thought she knew that. Yet while he assumed they were all good or at least on the way to being good she had been having her 12-week scan without him...he'd missed it.

"I get it you hate me and I'm sorry you're unhappy being pregnant with my baby but you are pregnant with my baby okay so next time there's a scan I wanna know. I don't care if it's a check-up or you're just doing it yourself to see I wanna be there."

He snaps, and Jo resists the urge to roll her eyes as he blocks her path. "Alex!" She sighs watching the doors shut as she misses her floor. "I thought we were doing better, I mean I thought we're trying not to fight."

He grits his teeth leaning in closer to her, neither one backing down as his forehead rests against hers. "I wanted to be there Jo."

Jo scoffs pushing him back lightly before walking to the furthest corner away from him. "I'm sorry I had it scheduled for this week but then Bailey took some time off and the surgery schedule got muddled…"

"Then you should've called and told me that."

"Alex come on you've been here a lot and I didn't wanna take time away from your kids." Jo half laughs wrapping her arms around herself. "I don't wanna be that kind of woman. I don't wanna take you away from them."

Alex softens automatically, sighing he rubs his thumb across the little blob on the scan, his eyes flicking between Jo and the photo. "Jo this is one of my kids." He mutters making his way over to her, he hesitantly places his hand against the faint bump that had begun to show, he hadn't touched her properly without being shrugged off since that night almost three months ago. "I wanna be here okay so let me work out my schedule. Just tell me where to be and when to be there and I'll worry about the rest."

Jo smiles meekly, her hand covering his. "I thought you'd be excited about the scan."

Alex chuckled quietly, he couldn't wait to see this baby grow, she was already showing so much more than she had been when he'd left. He'd missed this all before, the twins were five when he met them he'd never been there from the start and he couldn't wait to be there for this once. "I am Jo. I am really excited."

"Looks just like you." He grins looking down at the scan still clutched tightly in his hand, the black and white blob would look like nothing to most but Alex had seen hundreds and thousands of these and he couldn't quite believe he was now starting at one that was actually his.

"Are you kidding me?" Jo shrieks taking the photo from his hand, analysing it herself as if she hadn't spent that last few days staring at it continuously. "That head is huge...that is all Karev baby." Jo grins 'baby' falling from her lips without even thinking as she fell into a fit of giggles. "What?" She laughs Alex's face grows serious.

"We made that, I mean that's our baby." He mutters completely dumbfounded. "I just never thought I'd say those words." He admits his eyes watering as he stares down at her.

They were having a baby, him and Jo, who had thought so hard for this life and had dreamed so many times of their children and he never thought he'd have this, he thought it would always be a dream he saved for rainy days when he missed her more than he'd care to admit.

"Me either," Jo whispers her hand clasping around his both staring down at the scan in his hand, her eyes watering just the same, one loan tear escaping as she wipes it away quickly. Maybe just maybe this will all be okay, maybe everything is working out just as it's meant to be.

"Hey you two coming to lunch…"

Jo and Alex startle not realising the elevator had stopped and there were now both stood huddled in the corner, Meredith staring them expectantly, her eyebrows furrowed as she nodded towards the cafeteria, completely unaware to the little spark that had just flicked back into burn as they exited the elevator following along behind Meredith, Jo laughing as Alex excitedly showed her the sonogram as if she had never seen one before.

Sparks - Coldplay

It's you that I hold on to. Yeah, that's what I do.