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Chapter 10 – Restless

Day 6

Robin stood, her chair screeching across the floor. "You knew all of this, yet you still let us waste days searching with no information. Why?"

The librarian sighed. "You may have gathered that this is hardly the first time an outsider has run afoul of our local god. In every previous case, the rest of the crew was either successfully removed from the island, killed, or Renewed. Until today, I had no reason to believe your group would be any different, so you'll forgive me for prioritizing the safety of my people over doing the right thing for a stranger."

"Would it really be such a bad thing if this 'god' was taken out?" Sanji asked. "There may be some nice perks, but you've given up a hell of a lot of freedom in exchange."

"Whether we'd be willing to make the trade or not is largely irrelevant, because that's not the choice we have." The librarian began shuffling the papers and magazines back into a neat stack. "Our lives are bonded to the god's. If it fell, the majority of us would die with it."

"What?" Robin's shout overlapped with Sanji's, the sound uncomfortably loud in the small room.

"You couldn't have mentioned that a little sooner?" Sanji was standing now, too.

"I assume that majority includes Zoro," Robin said, once she'd calmed down enough to stop shouting.

"I should lie to you here, you know," the librarian said. "As insurance. I should tell you that killing the god would definitely kill your friend—and it's true that if he were standing right next to the god at the time, it very well might. At a distance, however, while he'd surely be in great pain, and ill for some time afterward, he'd survive. A single Renewal isn't enough to forge that kind of bond. Most of us wouldn't be so lucky. So you'd best keep your promise, unless you're willing to have a genocide on your hands." She cocked her head at them. "Many pirates would be, but you don't seem the type."

"We're not," Robin said. "But we won't abandon our friend, either. I hope, for all our sakes, that we can resolve this peacefully."

"Perhaps it's selfish to want more time, when most of us have had centuries here, remembered or not, but I'll gladly accept that label, if necessary," the librarian said. "I want this island to change for the better someday. It can't do that if it's destroyed."

"Thank you for the information," Robin said. "If there's nothing else, we have a god to find, and a friend."

"We have to do this logically." Nami's hands were shaking as she spread a map of the island, which Robin had gotten from the librarian, on the table, but her voice was steady. "We have two things to find, so it makes sense to split into two teams. One to search the off-limits areas of the forest for this god, and the other to keep looking through town for Zoro."

Usopp eyed the map uneasily. "What if Zoro's gone to a different town by now?" There were a dozen dots marking settlements of various sizes, scattered around the island in a rough circle.

"It's possible," Nami said grimly, "but we have to narrow it down somehow, and this town's big enough that Zoro might still be able to hide from us with only four people looking. Still, we should at least make a quick check in the towns to either side of this one, if we can find the time."

"I think he's still here." Chopper looked up at Robin. "That lady told you, right? Now that Zoro's seen us, he'll want to see us again, even if it makes him feel bad. And every time we've seen him, it was here, right? So I think he'll be here."

"That makes sense," Nami agreed quickly.

"The forest team should be careful not to spread out too far," Robin said. "Stay within shouting distance, if not within sight. A group should be harder for the god to catch off guard."

"I'll go to the town," Sanji said. "I can search faster by air, but the trees are so thick in that forest, I wouldn't see much."

"I'll join you," Robin said. "I think my powers will also be more effective in the city."

"M-me too." Usopp's hand shot into the air. "I can—"

"You can go to the forest," Nami told him. "You're our resident plant expert, aren't you? Isn't this practically your territory?"

Usopp whimpered. "But—"

"I'll search the forest as well," Brook said. "I'm light enough that I should be able to move without much difficulty, and…" He frowned, a finger tapping against his chin. "It's possible that this god's power won't even work on me, or at least not as easily."

"I'm…going to the forest," Chopper said. He wanted to look for Zoro, but the best way to help Zoro was to put himself where he could be the most useful, and that wasn't trying to push his way through crowds in the town. "I'm a reindeer, so I can move around easier, too." True, he'd grown up in ice and snow, not the kind of thick, jungle-like foliage this island had, but four hooves could still make their way better than human feet.

"Then I'll go to the town, and Luffy will help you search the forest," Nami said.

"What?" Luffy hadn't managed to sit down once during Robin and Sanji's explanation, but now he lunged forward, slamming his fists on the table. "But Zoro—"

"We're all helping Zoro, Luffy," Nami reminded him. "And we're all scared, and angry. But when you get angry, you tend to start punching things, which will be more useful in the forest, if you run into any of those creatures."

"But—"

"And"—Nami sighed—"no one on this crew is closer to Zoro than you, Luffy. That also means you're the one who'll be the hardest for him to be around. We're trying not to scare him off, so for—for now, it might be best if someone else found him first. Just for now." She bit her lip, her eyes bright. "We're going to fix this."

Luffy's fists clenched, his shoulders shaking. Chopper held his breath, waiting for Luffy to protest more, to rage or cry or break the table, to run out the door and look for Zoro anyway, logic be damned. But after a long moment, Luffy's shoulders dropped and he looked up.

"Yeah." Luffy's face was full of determination. "We're going to fix this. We're going to bring Zoro home."

It wasn't working. Why wasn't it working?

Zoro hadn't seen any of the Str—the outsiders for hours now, but the visions refused to leave him alone. They hadn't faded at all. It was like his brain was reaching out to everything around him and using it to make him think of the one thing he wanted to forget more than anything.

He'd walked in on Melwyn chopping vegetables for dinner, and for a moment, all he could see was Sanji, knife flashing as he worked in Sunny's wide kitchen. It's not real, he tried to tell himself. You're just thinking of when he made that pasta before.

But he knew that wasn't it. He hadn't even seen Sanji use a knife that night, and more than that, the angle was wrong. He was looking up at Melwyn now, but vision-Sanji was the same height as him. Or was Zoro looking down, just a little? He thought he might have been, though he knew Sanji would protest the idea fiercely. He hated that he knew that.

Shaking off the vision (and a snapped comment from Melwyn), Zoro ran outside, thinking vaguely of visiting the chickens. There were no chickens on the ship, so that had to be safe, right?

But then he reached the yard, and his eyes were drawn like a magnet to the tall mikan tree he'd barely noticed before, its branches heavy with orange fruit, and—

—His hand stung with a sharp slap, Nami's shouts and threats of what she would do to him if he ever touched her trees without permission again ringing in his ears—

—he stumbled back, wide-eyed, clutching a hand that still tingled, though there was no mark on it. Zoro turned and fled back into the house. Staying well clear of the kitchen, he instead turned down a long hallway, dim after even his brief time in the sun. A door was open at the end of the hall. Zoro crept closer and peeked inside, trying to calm his breathing.

Boran was sitting at a desk covered with papers. A book was open in front of him, his pen making soft scratching noises as he wrote in it, and—

—Robin's soft voice lifted in amused admonishment as Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp narrowly avoided colliding with her desk in their game of tag.

"Go play outside," she told them, setting down her pen. "Perhaps you can even convince Zoro to come with you."

"We tried!" Luffy whined. "He said we were making too much noise and came in here, but it's more fun with Zoro there, even when all he does is sleep, and—

—Zoro scrambled away from the door, not knowing or caring if he'd been heard. He raced upstairs, where the children's rooms were, chose one at random, and slammed the door behind him. For long seconds, he stood there, trying to calm his frantic breathing as the vision clung to his thoughts.

He was alone, he realized, when he finally managed to pry his eyes open and look around him. Good. He didn't want the other kids thinking he was more of a freak than they already did, nor did he want to try to explain why he'd suddenly run into their room like a pack of wolves was chasing him.

He stood there for what felt like hours, trying to relax, as light slowly faded from the room. Maybe he would have stood there all night as long as no one came in. But just as the last glow of twilight was slipping from the sky, a bird cried outside, and Zoro turned toward the window on reflex. Something flashed on the other side of the room; Zoro tensed, but it was just the flickering light from an old radio, sitting on a table beside one of the beds. Someone had left it on, but with the sound turned all the way down.

More for the distraction than because he actually wanted to hear, Zoro approached the radio and turned the knob. The room filled with music, a soft, haunting melody floating from the tinny speakers and winding through his ears as—

—Brook's violin echoed across the water. This song could take on any emotion the musician wanted it to, and tonight he'd chosen a slower rendition, sad, but still with a touch of comfort. It brought back memories of the good times they'd had in the past, and whispered about all the good times still to look forward to. Things weren't always easy, but as long as they had each other, they would endure. They would thrive.

Zoro leaned back against the hard wood of the mast. They were due to reach a new island tomorrow, and without the calming music, Luffy would never get to sleep, or at least quiet down enough for the others to sleep. Zoro, though, could sleep anywhere. His captain's laughter was like a lullaby. As long as Luffy was happy, everything was right with the world. He lifted his mug, taking a long drink before—

—Zoro's fist came down on the radio. It fell to the floor with a squawk, but that wasn't good enough, because the music was still coming, still piercing his brain with its unwanted visions. If he closed his eyes, he could see Brook, bow dancing over the strings, a smile on his face even without any lips to make it. Zoro lifted a foot and slammed it down on the radio again and again, until the violin faded into a tortured hissing, then kicked the thing at the wall for good measure. Finally, finally, the room was quiet, his own gasping breaths the only sound left to hear.

That last vision had hurt. Because it hadn't been just images this time, hadn't been just sounds and smells and pictures replayed for him like a super-realistic movie. He'd felt it this time, the sense of safety, of family, of love that the Straw Hats shared. For just an instant, his fear had fallen away, and he'd belonged.

And then the vision had shattered, and the peace was ripped away, and everything was so much worse now.

Because he couldn't deny it anymore. The visions—no. He should call them what they were. The memories. His memories.

It shouldn't have been so shocking. He'd been doing his best to deny it all day, hadn't he? He'd suspected it, dreaded it, since the Straw Hats had first told him their impossible theory. No, even before that. From the moment he'd first met Nami's eyes and felt that choking mix of dread and longing fill him, he'd known there was something there. He just hadn't had the pieces to figure out what it was. And once he did, he hadn't wanted to believe. He still didn't. Everything would be so much easier if it wasn't true. But Zoro wasn't so much of a coward that he'd keep running from a truth that had slapped him in the face, just because he didn't like it.

The Straw Hats were right.

But they were wrong, too, because maybe he had been their Zoro, but he wasn't anymore. Maybe he'd remembered a few things, but he was just as far from being that terrifying man in the wanted poster as he'd been the night he first ran from Nami. He was nothing but a child, now.

How had this even happened to him? He hadn't dared to wonder before, but now—

His hand touched cool metal, and Zoro jumped, looking up to find himself at the front door. When had he gotten downstairs again? The knob was half-twisted under his hand. He'd been about to leave? Why? To find them, his mind supplied, and Zoro leapt away from the door like it was made of lightning.

No. No, he couldn't do that. He had to stay away from them, now more than ever. It would be better for everyone if he just stayed away. The memories would stop, eventually. That much was still true. The memories would fade, he would stop hurting, and the Straw Hats would leave the island and…have new adventures without him. It would be better, easier, than trying to force a puzzle piece into a place it no longer fit.

"Restless?"

Zoro jumped again, whirling to see Boran eyeing him with a small smile. "I—" What could he say?

"I'd think you'd want to rest some more, after the day you've had, but kids've always had more energy than they know what to do with. Most of the others're still outside, even in the dark."

"No, I'm not—" Not what? Not a kid? But he was. That was the whole problem, really. Not restless? He was that, too; he just didn't know how to stop being restless, so he was trying to ignore it, instead. Not full of energy? Not exactly a lie, especially now that the terror and adrenaline were wearing off, but he was hardly going to say that.

"Tell you what. I'm heading into the forest tomorrow; there's a tree I've been eyeing for firewood. You come with me. It'll do you good to get out of town and stretch your legs a bit."

He'd stretched his legs plenty today already, but not being in town meant less chance of running into the Straw Hats, and maybe less chance of having another flash of memories. And it could be training. Even now, he wasn't ready to give up on his dream, and the future World's Greatest Swordsman needed to train.

"Okay."

But how will you achieve that dream if you stay on this island?

He didn't have an answer.

He couldn't sleep. He'd never had trouble sleeping before—he couldn't remember but he was sure it was true—but that night, Zoro lay awake, staring at the ceiling and waiting for morning to come, alone with his thoughts and the ghosts of another person's past.

Day 7

"Take care!" Melwyn's sour voice followed Zoro out the door. "I suggest you get lost in the woods and not come back."

Zoro turned, smothering a yawn and reaching for the best insult he could muster as—

—He was running through a huge stone building, swords drawn. They weren't going to stop him. He'd find her, and then—

"Ahh!" Chopper's voice echoed from above him."We take our eyes off Zoro for a second, and now he's—!"

"What?" Nami's shout was dripping with exasperation.

"Wait, Zoro!" Chopper yelled at him. "That's the wrong way!"

Zoro skidded to a stop and looked back at him. "What?" He'd been so sure this was the right direction.

"I said the stairs!" Nami snapped. "Just what made you think you should go that way? What are you, a fantasista?"

"Shut up!" Zoro roared back. "It's because you didn't explain it well!" They didn't have time to waste on this nonsense. Robin needed them! Why hadn't Nami just said to go north in the first place?

"There's no way it was my fault!"

"Zoro," Chopper said seriously as he ran for the stairs, "I'll try making some medicine that works on hopelessness."

"Hopelessness…? Hey!" This wasn't the time for stupid jokes like that. First the lovesick cook, then Nami telling him the wrong way to go, now Chopper—were any of them taking this seriously besides him? If they didn't hurry, Robin would—

—he reeled, barely catching himself against the side of Boran's house. The memory left slowly, flickering out like a dying candle.

"Are you okay, Zoro? This way, okay?"

"I know!"

That had been…was his sense of direction really that bad? Zoro couldn't remember getting lost like that at any point in the past week, but…that had felt like an old, familiar argument. And he had been so sure he was right even though he clearly hadn't been.

It seemed like he couldn't trust his own perceptions, even before he was reduced to this.

"Be nice," Boran chided Melwyn, "or I'll change my mind about leaving you in charge. Thea's almost old enough to start taking on some of that responsibility."

Melwyn flushed. "That's not necessary." He stepped closer to Boran and lowered his voice, though not enough to keep Zoro from hearing most of his words. "…not trying to be…know as well as I do…been tearing up the town looking for…" His arm jerked in Zoro's direction. "…hasn't done anything for some reason. If it…find him with us, especially if…" Melwyn darted a dark look at Zoro, and there was fear mixed with the anger. "…better for everyone if you just hand him over to—"

Boran pulled back, patting Melwyn on the shoulder. "I know you're worried, and not without reason. But it'll all work out for the best. Trust me for just a little longer. And don't be so hard on the kid. He didn't choose this." He hefted his pack and beckoned to Zoro. "C'mon, kid, let's get going."

With Melwyn's stare prickling the back of his neck, Zoro stumbled after Boran. His eyes could barely stay open enough to see his feet, but he knew that even if he could lay down, he'd just fall back into the same restless dozing that never quite managed to tip into true sleep. The memories he'd regained had circled his head all night. Everything he did seemed to set off another one, but they were only snatches, fragments, too small and jumbled to bring him anything but frustration, and Zoro was ready to snap at everyone in sight to just leave him alone.

"Now, you stick close to me, all right?" Boran said, as they entered the trees. "The forest can be dangerous. If you don't watch out, you might get attacked by something, or fall off a cliff."

Zoro rolled his eyes and—

—A scream echoed through the air, making the place seem even spookier than it already was. Worse, it was a familiar scream.

"Nami-saaan!" Sanji flung himself past Zoro and grabbed the rail of the ship. "What is it? Did something happen?"

Zoro glared out across the murky water. "What're they up to? I can't see anything in this fog."

"But her scream came from the island," Robin said.

Luffy rushed to the railing, too, but where Sanji looked a heartbeat away from jumping off to swim to the island, Luffy was hopping up and down impatiently. "You guys! Hurry up and let me ride the Mini-Merry, too!"

Sanji rounded on him. "Bastard! You should be more worried about Nami-san!"

"And you should be more worried about the other two with her," Franky muttered behind them. Sanji didn't appear to have heard.

"That scream just now…" Robin lifted a hand to her face in thought. "I wonder if a ghost killed them with a curse?"

"Stop it!" Zoro told her. "That's bad luck!" A clanking noise drew his attention, and he—

—gasped, stumbling into a tree. His head throbbed, and Zoro dug his fingers into the tree's bark as hard as he could, trying to ground himself.

"You okay, kid?"

Zoro shook his head, as though the memory would come loose with it, and dragged himself back onto the path. "Fine," he mumbled. "Just tired." He curled his hands inward before Boran could see the red dotting his fingertips.

Boran smiled sympathetically. "Well, a brisk walk in the woods should wake you right up, but let me know if you need me to carry you, all right?"

Zoro flushed. "I can walk!" He stomped past Boran to prove his point.

Boran smiled at him. "All right, then; let's walk."

At least in the forest, he'd only have to deal with Boran. The Straw Hats were searching the town. They'd never find him here.

"—haven't seen anything on our end, either."

Blearily, Chopper blinked his eyes open. His body was swaying gently back and forth. Was he in a hammock? No…the movements were too irregular for that, and he was so warm…

"I don't understand!" That was Nami's voice, strained and crackling over a den den mushi connection. "How can one kid disappear so completely? We were practically tripping over him before!"

Kid? A weight had settled in Chopper's stomach, filling him with a sense of impending dread that meant there was something very bad waiting for him as soon as he was awake enough to remember. He tried to shove it away, to return to the peaceful bliss of sleep, but it ate at his insides, and the worried voices of his friends gave it strength.

"Everyone calm down. We won't be any good if we work ourselves into a panic." Sanji's voice was as tense as the rest of them, but it wasn't shaking the way Nami's had.

"That's right," came Brook's voice from somewhere to Chopper's left. "We've made it out of difficult situations before. We can do it again."

"But the time!" Usopp sounded like he was holding back tears.

"Perhaps that librarian was mistaken," Brook suggested. "Perhaps, since Zoro-san's life is such a delicacy, the god is saving it for a special occasion, and hasn't yet consumed any of it."

Zoro?

"I…guess that's possible…" Nami sounded doubtful, but steadier.

"At any rate, all we can do is keep looking," said Robin. "I'm going to return to the library. Maybe I can get more information. We'll check in again in another two hours."

"Right," said Luffy's voice, vibrating against Chopper's back, and there was a click as the snail shut down.

Chopper's eyes snapped open.

Zoro!

How could he have forgotten? Zoro was—they had to—and he had fallen asleep?

Chopper leapt from Luffy's arms, cursing himself and wiping away tears. They had to find Zoro, every second counted, and there he'd been, napping like he hadn't had a care in the world! Idiot!

"Oh, Chopper, you're up!" Luffy's voice, though tense and exhausted, still held warmth. Chopper wished Luffy would yell instead, like he clearly deserved.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—why didn't you wake me up?" he demanded.

"You passed out just before dawn," Usopp told him. "We decided you'd be more useful after a couple hours of sleep, so there'd be less chance of you tripping over your own hooves."

He was probably right, but—Chopper eyed the sun overhead. Stupid, stupid, stupid! So much time lost! He had to make up for it. He'd search twice as hard. He wouldn't let Zoro down. Shifting to Walk Point, Chopper bounded off into the trees.

"Oi! We have to stay together!" Usopp hollered behind him.

Chopper barely heard.

Zoro rubbed at his eyes, then jerked to the side, narrowly avoiding a collision with a tree. So far, the walk hadn't helped clear his head at all. He hadn't had any more flashes since entering the forest, but what did that matter when the memories he already had were so bright and vivid he could have sworn he was walking along Sunny's deck rather than a forest path half the time?

He glanced up at the trees. Most were too big for him to fit his arms around, and so tall he couldn't see the tops as anything other than a sea of green. It had been like that for a while now. He was sure they'd already passed enough trees to provide the whole island with firewood for a year.

"Why can't we just cut one of these?" Zoro complained.

Boran chuckled. "There's a method to these things. You can't just cut down any old tree you like."

Zoro frowned. "Why not?"

"Well, it takes longer for the wood to be ready to use if you pick one that's all green and full of life, for one thing. It's best to find one that's about ready to come down on its own anyway."

All the trees Zoro could see in every direction looked strong and healthy. "How long is that gonna take?"

"Don't worry. I've been keeping my eye out, and I know the perfect spot. It's not too far now."

"Really?" Zoro knew that "not far" could mean something very different to an adult than it did to him.

"Really. Why? Need a break?"

Zoro scowled. "No!"

Another soft chuckle. "Don't worry," Boran said again. "You can rest when we get there. I promise."

Ugh, this took too long. Hopefully I can get the next one out faster. We're getting close to one of my favorite parts of the story, so… c: