"How come we don't hang out anymore?" Quil asked, face neutral, tone bitter. In truth, we hadn't made plans to hang out in a while.
"Sorry cuz," I said. I didn't look up from the soapy dish in my hands. Quil and I now routinely washed dishes together after family dinners. Uncle Quil's booming laugh echoed in from the other room. Quil and I grinned, but didn't drop the subject.
"Seriously though," he said, "don't you ever get bored of Spooky Jared?"
"Quil!" I laughed, "I told you not to call him that!" Then I sighed. "And no, honestly I don't see him that often either."
"What?" Quil asked, but I just shrugged. Unfortunately, it was true. Between my schedule and his mysterious Protector duties, which had ramped up in the last few weeks for undisclosed reasons, we saw each other maybe once or twice a week. Admittedly, that was a lot considering how busy we both were.
"We should make a plan," I said. "Hang out soon."
"Yeah, what should we do?"
"Bonfire maybe?" I suggested. "We could make it a party." Quil made a face, surprising me. "Or we could do something else… some one on one cuz-catch-up-time? Either way, just let me know."
"Ok," he said.
"Are you still into my friend Jess by any chance?" I asked, casually.
He pouted. "I thought she was dating that thumb?"
I cackled. "Mike?! Yeah, I guess he does kind of look like a thumb! Oh my god, I never noticed! But they aren't dating anymore. They broke up over the summer. I thought they might get back together when school started again but I think they're actually officially done."
"Wow," Quil said. After a moment of thought he said, "yeah a bonfire would be fun." I smiled.
That Saturday, Quil and I put our plan into motion. Quil brought Jacob and Embry and I invited our entire lunch table and-with Quil's reluctant blessing-Jared, Paul, and Sam. I was determined to keep mixing Quil and his friends with the pack until they got along. Sam brought Emily. Mike and Jess sat at opposite sides of the circle. Mike started a deep conversation with Tyler. Quil chatted with Jess, cautiously at first, but in no time they both smiled and giggled. Jared and I, each the perfect model of maturity, began sword fighting with flaming sticks from the fire. Then, to my complete surprise, Angela and Ben showed up with Bella.
Bella looked as she always did these days: dark, deep set circles under her eyes, uncombed hair, and eerily blank expression. I noticed Sam staring at her, shocked. She probably looked more or less similar to the day he found her lying on the ground in the woods. Other people started to stare and conversations grew hushed all around the fire. I hopped up to attempt some damage control.
"Yay, you guys made it!" I called, walking over to greet them. I rubbed Bella's shoulder, as I was often tempted to do, just to confirm that she was still real, and not the ghost she resembled. "Help yourselves to some of our finest Keystone Light!" Ben smirked and took a can.
"Don't peer pressure the minors," Sam called from across the fire. I rolled my eyes out of his line of sight. Having recently turned 21, he was now the official provider of beer and unwanted wisdom, as opposed to before, when he was the unofficial provider of those same things.
"She's a minor too," Emily said laughing.
"Which makes it all ok," I said, turning to wink at her.
I made room for Bella, Angela, and Ben between me and Jess. Angela and Jess chatted. Bella sat next to me, firelight reflecting in her dark, empty eyes. I gave her Jared's sword fighting stick and we poked at the fire together. I felt Jared, Sam, and Emily's eyes on us, but we didn't say anything. I noticed Jacob making his way over and then slid closer to Jared, making room for him between me and Bella.
"Hey Jake. Got smoked out, huh?" I asked.
He sat down. "Yeah, it's rough over there."
I offered him my sword-turned-poking stick and he took over my fire poking duties. He made small talk with Bella and to my complete surprise she engaged. He made fun of her fire tending technique, and her face lit up in a smile that only seemed a little forced. I waited for her to fade, to lose focus and go blank as she did whenever Angela or I tried to talk to her for more than a few seconds, but she didn't. For reasons unknown to me, Jacob had an immediate effect on her, focusing her attention and shaping her mood. For the first time in months, she was completely present.
I was transfixed the whole night. I kept meeting Angela's glances. She looked as shocked as I felt.
Over the next few weeks, Bella looked different in school too. When I got lunch with Quil at Gracie's Diner, he said Jacob and Bella were hanging out a lot. They were repairing some old motorcycles she'd bought in a yard sale. That was surprising too, as Bella didn't strike me as the biker type, but I was happy for her. The only fact that marred my celebration was the awareness that nothing Jess, Angela, or I had tried worked in any remote sense. Overall, I was too relieved to be mad. Clearly she found what she needed.
Quil also admitted that he had been spending time with Jess, to which I high-fived him across the table. He joked about our mixing friend groups and I smiled, realizing I was far less stressed than I was a few weeks ago. Bella was going to be ok.
I dropped Quil at his house then drove to Jared's. I rang the bell twice, but no one answered. I peeked in the window, then at my phone. I frowned. Jared had cancelled for the third time this week.
Him: I'm really sorry.
Him: It's a work thing.
I was pissed that he still, after like eight months, felt the need to keep most things supernatural secret from me, as if they would have no effect on my life if I ignored them. Without any details, I didn't know whether to be angry or scared for him.
Me: Working hard or hardly working?
With the message I sent a screenshot I'd been saving of a local news report with the headline: Hiker Missing: Third Disappearance this Month Stumps Police and Causes Mass Panic. It was obnoxious, but I didn't appreciate being treated like I was stupid. I drove home.
I pulled out my phone to text Jess to see if she was free instead. I planned to ignore Jared's text but I couldn't resist opening it.
Jared: We're trying.
I sighed. Me: I know. But you don't have to pretend like it isn't happening. I'm not scared.
Him: Don't go in the woods though! Don't go out alone. Srsly.
I scowled, chucking my phone on the bed. What did he want from me?
All I knew was the pack was in some hot water. There had been a few disappearances in our usually sleepy towns. Two hikers had disappeared and no bodies had been recovered. There was speculation in town that this was because of a string of freak bear attacks, but I knew better. One hiker reported seeing giant bears from a distance. Had he been closer, he might have realized that they were freakishly overgrown wolves. My understanding was that the pack was chasing the real threat, turning up too late to help but just long enough to churn the whole town into a bear-related frenzy. But sure, let's just say things were hectic at "work."
I didn't want Jared to know how nervous I was. It was getting harder and harder to find time to see him, and when we did hang out, he looked so beat that I felt guilty keeping him from sleep. What if he messed up because he was too tired? Tired from staying up to see me? So when he said he wanted to see me, I would ask if he'd slept, and when he would say he could stay up, I would tell him to sleep first. I did my best to play it cool and not to let on how scared I was for him, but in truth, some nights I would lay awake for hours, staring at my phone, waiting for him to text me that he made it home ok.
To make matters worse, a week later, Quil stopped speaking to me. Embry had joined the pack. Jared told me how it happened. Apparently, Quil had bailed on him to hang out with Jess, Jacob had bailed on him to hang out with Bella, and Embry, feeling very single and alone, had gone for an angry run on the beach which ended with him exploding into an enormous wolf. Luckily, the rest of the pack were in their wolf forms at the time, trying to follow a trail in spite of the rain, and were able to calm him down through their shared mental link.
It took a new werewolf a few weeks to gain control over their powers. Anger was what caused the transformations, and for some reason the werewolf condition and anger seemed to exacerbate each other. In the first week, sometimes for several weeks, werewolves phased in and out of their wolf forms with very little intentionality or warning. So Embry was skipping school, trying to sweat out the aches that came with the early transformations, and get his anger in check well enough to control his dangerous transformations.
When he returned to school, he was ordered by Sam not to tell anyone what had happened, and to stay close to the other pack members so they could keep him in check. This silent avoidance had understandably upset Quil and Jacob. It also undoubtedly creeped them out because the exact same thing had happened when Paul and Jared joined. But he hadn't been friends with Jared or Paul. Embry joining the pack was a betrayal to him. Quil also blamed me. He was pissed at Sam and the pack, and pissed at me for dating Jared. He'd sent some angry texts at first, and now he wasn't responding to mine. I knew I needed to get back on speaking terms with Quil somehow. Not just for my sake, but also for his. Vampires proximity might be the biggest factor in making a normal teen boy a werewolf, but anger, isolation, and bitterness were all upped the risk substantially. I needed to do some damage control.
Later that week, Bella started to make a plan to get us all together for a movie. She wanted to invite the lunch table and Jacob and his friends. Since Quil was, as far as I was aware, currently Jacob's only friend, I was sure he would attend. Perfect. I told her I would go.
I texted Quil the day before: Are you going to this movie thing?
Quil: Is your boyfriend coming?
Me: He's not invited.
Me: How are you getting there?
Quil: Jake.
Me: Do you think I could get a ride?
Me: My house is right on the way. Mom needs the car.
Quil: Fine.
On Friday after school, Jacob pulled up in a little red car and I climbed into the backseat.
"Is this the car you were working on?" I asked, shocked.
Jacob smirked a bit. "Yep."
"Amazing!" I gushed. "You've got talent!" Jacob didn't respond. I could tell he was mad. I paused, trying to decide if now was the best time to enact my plan. This would be a terrible place to make them angry, as we were in very close quarters, and one of them phasing would be car-shattering, but I probably only had them alone for a minute. I sighed, deliberating, when Quil broke the silence.
"Where's your boyfriend tonight?" Quil asked, his tone bitter. It was as good an opening as any.
I put on my best scowl. "Probably with that stupid gang of his. I bet they're punching each other in the stomachs to firm up their cores or something like that." I played up the resentment and glared out the window, silent for a few moments. "Guys I-" I swallowed. "I'm really sorry about Embry. It's all my fault." I saw Jacob and Quil exchange glances in the front seat.
"How is it your fault?" Quil asked. He sounded a little incredulous, but his voice was soft.
"It-ugh it's really stupid." I paused for a minute, biting my lip. Then I sighed dramatically and rolled my eyes. "Jared told me that Sam was going to try to get Embry to join, and I straight up bet him a thousand dollars that Embry would not be that stupid. And now, what do you know, I'm a thousand dollars in the hole!"
"What?!" Jacob asked. I couldn't tell if he was mad or just genuinely shocked, but I plowed on. I was committed now.
"I know. It's insane. My guess is, Sam went to Embry, Embry said no way, and Jared probably went and offered Embry 950 dollars or something, because honestly I just think he wanted to win at something, and for some reason he actually believes I'm loaded. But jokes on him. He's never going to see that money, because, shocker, I don't have a thousand dollars lying around!"
"Oh my god," Jacob said..
"What a dumbass," Quil breathed, shaking his head.
"So heads up," I said. "I couldn't pay up, so I had to go double or nothing on both of you, so if Jared offers either of you like nineteen-hundred dollars to join his stupid little club, say no, because there is no way you would ever see that money anyways because there is no way I will ever come up with it. But," I said, grinning, "if you guys don't join, and in the off chance that Jared is somehow sitting on a mountain of cash somewhere, I'll split it with both of you." To my relief, Jacob and Quil were both laughing, almost hysterically now, as we all pinky promised on my deal. I took a deep breath, relieved. Of course they were happy to laugh at Jared's expense.
"What if Jake and I join?" Quil asked.
"Well then I guess I'm fucked, cuz," I said. Quil guffawed. "You wouldn't do that to your favorite cousin would you?"
"Quil you gotta admit it's tempting," Jacob laughed. "What's Jared going to do anyways if you can't pay him?"
"Well if he does start pushing me on it, I'll just tell him I've found a wealthy bachelor who's agreed to assume my debts after our marriage," I said. "I'm sure he'll be thrilled."
"Oh my god," Quil laughed.
"I actually really hope Embry is like, on his case." I snickered. "Like a loan shark. And that Jared is all like, 'I'll have it by Saturday I swear!'" I deepened my voice into an unflattering impression of Jared, which I might have felt bad for if his impressions of me were more accurate. Quil and Jacob both cackled. I almost smirked at the thought of one of them joining the pack, forcing Jared and Embry to watch this exchange.
"Right," Quil said, chuckling. "But if Jared fesses up, I guess Embry will be coming for you."
"No offense but the dude weighs like ninety pounds," I said. "I'll take my chances."
They laughed again and then were quiet. Embry had been kind of a beanpole, at least he was until he'd phased. He was bulking up fast now. I hoped Jacob and Quil weren't thinking about that now.
When we pulled up at Bella's she was already outside with Jess and Mike the thumb, who were standing awkwardly far from each other.
"What happened to Ben and Angela?" I asked.
"You didn't hear?" Jess asked. I shook my head. "Ang has a stomach bug. Poor thing." I nodded sympathetically.
Mike drove. His car was big enough for all of us. The group dynamic was instantly odd. I was worried it would feel awkward, as I was in a rare kind of fifth wheel position, but I was actually thrilled to be a fly on the wall. Jacob and Bella instantly fell into a rhythm, chatting comfortably in the backseat. Jess, who was riding shotgun, twisted her torso around almost entirely to talk to me and Quil, but mostly Quil, while completely ignoring Mike who was in the driver's seat. Before we had reached the theater, their flirting had progressed from subtle to brutally obvious. Mike glared out the windshield, knuckles white as he clenched the wheel. When we got to the theater he glared resentfully at both Jess and Bella. The thought that Mike was somehow bitter about both Jess, who he had broken up with more than six months ago, and Bella, who he had never even dated, at the same time, was endlessly entertaining to me. He sulked through the first half of the movie before racing out of the theater without warning.
Quil went to check on him. Turns out Mike had the stomach bug too. We drove home.
That night I was exhausted but in good spirits. Quil and I were on speaking terms again. Bella was looking better, more alive than she had since Edward left. The guilt that had been gnawing away inside me for months was finally subsiding. I checked my phone again. As usual, Jared had promised to text when he was done for the night. Then I felt a cold trickle of sweat and a sudden wave of nausea. I barely made it to the bathroom before violently vomiting. I guess I caught the bug too.
After nearly an hour of toilet-side agony my phone buzzed. I almost ignored it, but I'd been starting to crave Jared's home safe texts and the thought of ignoring was almost painful. My heart raced as I unlocked the screen, and sank as I read Jared's message. Jacob had just joined the pack.