Apologies for the mean cliffhanger! I didn't schedule that chapter very well, and it wasn't supposed to post on Thanksgiving *eep*
That said...buckle up.
Caught In A Riptide
Chapter Twenty-four
Lakely
"Lakely, honey?"
Snapping awake, I jerk upright, confused when I'm not looking at the loft railing back at the apartment, but Edward crouching in front of me.
Oh.
Tears instantly fill my eyes, but they don't fall. Edward's smile is sympathetic as he holds out a tissue.
"Thanks," I mumble, sniffling and looking up at the clock. Twelve thirty.
"I'm gonna head home and get some things for myself and Bella. Do you want to come and get some proper rest in your own bed? I can pick you back up in the morning."
Honestly, I'm...torn.
Lifting off the uncomfortable plastic chair, my back popping and a wince twisting my features, I decide going home for a few hours of real sleep would probably be the better option.
The door opposite me opens, a nurse offering us a small smile and a nod when Edward quickly asks if Arlo is okay.
As she heads away down the dimly lit hall, I step closer to the window and try to swallow the lump that appears in my throat every time I look at Arlo.
He's perfectly still apart from the measured rise and fall of his chest. He's intubated, so the ventilator is doing it all for him.
It's so unlike him to be so still, so quiet.
In the movies, people always just look like they're sleeping. Arlo doesn't. Even when he sleeps, he fidgets and makes noises. His sleep-mumbling and humming have kept me awake so many times.
I never thought I'd be wishing to hear it.
Bella has dozed off in the chair beside him, his left hand wrapped in both of hers. Ever since the doctors got Arlo stabilized and said she could be with him, she's been right there, right by his side. A pillar of support even though the doctors and nurses can't say if he's aware of us or not.
"I'll stay here."
Edward has moved to stand beside me, so I see him nodding slowly in the corner of my eye, like that's exactly what he thought I'd say. "All right. I'll grab some of Bella's things so you have a change of clothes."
"Oh, that's...it's okay." I flush, picturing myself trying to squeeze myself into Bella's clothes like sausage meat into a skin that's too small. "I don't think…we're not the same size."
He snorts softly, draping his arm around my shoulders for a gentle squeeze. "You remember that she had six babies, right? Her bump was a whole lot bigger than yours."
My cheeks burn. "Oh, yeah. Did she keep all her clothes?"
"Only a couple of things," he admits, breaking off into a long yawn. "All right, I'm gonna head out."
My lips twitch toward the tiniest of smiles when he makes no move to leave for another few minutes, the comforting warmth and weight of his arm around me softening the edges of my fear. I'm so glad they're here, him and Bella. I've always been able to lean on them if I needed to. They've been around for as long as I can remember and I love them like a second set of parents.
My throat closes a little as Mom and Dad pop into, and out of, my head.
Or, my only set now.
It isn't until Bella startles awake out of a nightmare that Edward drops his arm and leaves me in the hall. Striding into Arlo's room, he wraps Bella in strong arms that hold her together as she starts to cry, burying her face in his neck, dwarfed by his broad shoulders and chest. Wrapping my arms around myself, I sniffle and stare at Arlo's motionless face, wishing he were able to hug me, hold me together.
He's always been the best at that. He's always had that way about him, the silly smile, the warmth in his eyes, the most comforting hugs. I'd do anything for all those things right now.
One of the twins kicks, the other fidgeting, and tears start to pour over my cheeks as I shut my mind down before it can go there.
One thought slips through, though. My chest heaves and my heart thumps unevenly.
What if the twins never get to feel those squishy hugs or see his goofy grin through the brown eyes I hope they inherit from him?
"Hey, honey, it's okay," Bella coos, using her sleeves to wipe my cheeks dry. Glancing into Arlo's room, I see Edward kneeling beside his bed, his forehead resting on Arlo's hand, lips moving quickly. "Breathe, Lakely."
Releasing a huge, shuddering sigh, I force myself to take slow, even breaths until they're not as choppy and my heart isn't racing quite so fast.
Bella offers me a shaky smile, her face still red, her eyes still damp. "There we go."
"Sorry, I just…"
"Don't apologize. I get it."
Smiling weakly, I nod. "Of course you do. This is...it's so hard."
"You're doing great, honey, really. Edward says you want to stay here, so try and get a nap on the pull-out. I explained the situation to the nurse and she's okayed it, just while we're...waiting."
"Oh, no, I couldn't—"
"You can and you will." She arches her brows. "Those babies need you rested." My shoulders droop, and her stern expression softens. "I know it feels impossible to sleep, but even just lying down for a few hours will do you the world of good, trust me. Get some practice naps in now before these girls come and sleep becomes a myth."
Snorting, I promise to try, and once Edward has kissed both of our heads and told us to call him if we need him, I do just that. Bella excuses herself to use the restroom and grab us some snacks from the vending machines, so I give up trying to sleep for a few minutes and move from the lumpy cot to the chair beside Arlo.
When I slip my fingers between his for the first time in hours, since everything was okay and we were just two teenagers goofing around on the beach, I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.
He's warm.
I didn't know until I touched him, but I guess I was expecting him to be...cold.
Swallowing hard, I trace the faint scar on his hand with my thumb. He got it when we were eight. Our parents took all us kids to the beach to play in the rockpools, and Arlo slipped on some seaweed. I smile, remembering the immediate waxy white tint that wiped out his sunny tan, but it falls when I look up at his bandaged head and there's a faint spot of red peeking through from underneath. He was a big baby about the little blood he lost that day in the rockpools; he'd lose it if he could see his head and arm now.
The rhythmic beeps and whooshes of his ventilator and monitors continue, oddly soothing when I remind myself that their steady rhythms mean he's okay. He's not great, but he's okay.
"You're such an idiot."
My voice is loud in the otherwise quiet room. I startle myself, my breath catching in my throat. When Arlo doesn't move or respond in any way, I sigh and continue.
"You've always been a giant attention seeker, Arlo, but this is just way overkill. I mean, come on. Knocking up the best friend you're not even dating, with twins, isn't enough attention for you? Really?"
I half expect him to offer me a cheeky wink and yell "Psych!"
Like this is all a joke. Like I'm not sitting here watching a machine breathe for him while every beat of his dumb-boy heart ripples across the screen on the other side of the bed like the waves that tried to steal him from me.
"You need to wake up," I tell him, trying to sound firm, failing miserably when my voice wobbles and cracks because, underneath my bravado, I'm just a terrified girl desperately hoping to see my favorite brown eyes again. "You can't do this to me, Arlo. It's not fair. I just...I just got you."
I'm numb to the sting of fresh tears. To the heat they trail over my skin. To the ache in my jaw and the lump in my throat. Paralyzing fear washes through me as I see a flash of my future without goofy smiles and chocolate penny eyes and warm hugs.
Without him.
Squeezing his hand as hard as I dare, I stare at his face, at his unmoving lips, criminally long lashes fanned over the apples of his cheeks. "I've wasted too many years in love with you to lose you now, damn it. So please, please…" Dropping my forehead to the back of his hand, I let my tears soak into his skin and mine. "Please don't leave me."
~ oOo ~
When I wake up the next morning, there's a backpack on the floor beside me with a note pinned to the handle. Yawning into my shoulder, I reach for the note as I glance over at Arlo, my stomach twisting when I see that he's exactly the same as when my eyes finally slipped shut just after three a.m.
"Good morning," I whisper before dropping my eyes.
We're in the family room if you need us. Toiletries are in the purple wash bag, and there are some clothes for you to change into. Bella and Easy x
A quick look in the backpack makes my eyes fill with new tears even as a smile spreads across my face. The blinds are closed to the corridor, so I quickly slip my tee over my head and replace it with the one from the bag. Lifting the collar to my face, I close my eyes and inhale, sucking Arlo's scent into my lungs like someone starved of oxygen.
My chest seizes at the analogy, my smile slipping from my face. Shouldering the backpack after slipping the little purple wash bag out, I press a kiss to Arlo's cheek and head for the restrooms.
When I step out a few minutes later, in a too-big pair of Arlo's sweatshorts to match last year's soccer shirt, I immediately bump into a familiar face.
Brody Weller's sympathetic smile adds another wound to my heart as he engulfs me in a hug.
Arlo's hero.
"I'm so sorry, Lakely. How're you holding up?"
I shrug, chewing the inside of my cheek because I don't want to cry again, not right now, not all over Brody freaking Weller.
He's been another staple of my childhood ever since he befriended the Cullens, but still, he's a famous soccer player. My cheeks flame just a little when I picture his poster on my wall at my parents' house. It's over my desk along with a bunch of keepsakes like movie tickets, photo strips from the machine at the arcade, and the bottle cap from my first ever beer.
I was fifteen and Arlo took me to a bonfire where his brothers were hanging out with friends. He'd overheard them talking about it on the phone and decided we should 'crash' it.
The only crashing we did that night was through the front door of his house when Finley caught us sneaking beers and put us in a cab home. It was too late and we were way tipsy, but Bella just laughed at us and sent us to bed. She wasn't as forgiving the next morning, though. I'd never cleaned a pool by hand while hungover before, but man, it sucked.
And it put us off drinking—for a while, at least—so I guess it did its job.
I ache, realizing that almost all of my memories are wrapped up in Arlo. Almost my whole life has been him, us. I can't bear the thought that it might come to such an abrupt end. That we might come to an end.
"Where are—oh, there you are."
Brody releases me, grinning at his wife as she ducks under his arm and flashes me the sympathetic smile I'm starting to get used to. "Hi, sweetheart. It's…" she cuts herself off, shaking her head. "I was going to say it's lovely to see you, because it is, but the circumstances…"
"Suck?" I offer, managing to smile just a little at her soft laughter. Reese Talley, or Reese Weller now, is one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and she's perfect for Brody. They remind me a lot of Bella and Edward, actually. Where she's soft and petite, he's tall and broad. She softens all his tough edges. And they have the most adorable kids.
"It does suck," she agrees as Bella and Edward trail down the hall, hand in hand, quietly discussing something. When Brody and Reese spot them, I guess they feel us staring. Their heads pop up, and Bella's worried frown shifts into a soft smile.
"How did you sleep, honey?"
"Like crap."
She snorts, running her hand through my hair. She'd tucked a hairbrush into the backpack, so the snarls and knots from being on the beach yesterday are gone, my hair down around my shoulders in loose waves.
How Arlo likes it.
.
.
Humming, I close my eyes and smile at the sky.
Arlo trails his fingers over my bump, my tee tucked up under my boobs. He snorts softly, drawing a circle around my belly button. "You still have an inny."
"A what?" I ask, one eye sliding open.
"Your belly button." He points to it, smirking as he dips his pinky in there for a second before resuming his random drawing all over my belly. "Mom's popped right out when she was pregnant with the sixers. Me, Jax, and Finn used to laugh at it and she used to get really mad."
"You're such shits to your poor mom."
Laughing, Arlo nods and scoops up a handful of sand, letting it run through the gaps in his fingers, some of it settling over my bump and, much to his amusement, in my belly button.
I'm twenty-two weeks now. Over halfway. Dr. Dale says it's possible to carry twins to term, which would still only give us just eighteen more weeks before the twins come.
My lips curve into a wider smile when Arlo just grins as he draws a heart on my belly in the grains, and this moment right here is bliss. With my face tipped back to what little sunshine we have left, clouds moving closer and closer along with the offshore storm, I'm as happy as a clam.
We've had a perfect few hours on the boat and in the water, but it's here on the sand where Arlo kissed me breathless all over again and gave me flashbacks of our night on the beach in Miami that I'm more content than I have been in months.
The click of a camera startles me from my blissed-out moment. "What are you doing?"
"Taking a picture, duh," Arlo says with a wink—which he somehow manages to make not look creepy—as he shows me the picture he just took. It's...not bad, actually. "I like your hair like this," he adds, reaching out to twist a lock of my hair around his finger.
My eyebrows arch. "Since when do you notice my hair?"
He shrugs, dropping down to lean on one bended arm, sunny smile chasing away the chill of the air rushing in off the sea. "Since always. I've always noticed you, Lakers. It's just taken me a bit to connect the dots and realize why." The hint of a dimple flashes. "I'm just a dumb boy, remember? We're not that smart. We need know-it-alls like you to—oh, shit!"
Arlo scrabbles backward, laughing as I grab the first thing I can to throw at him, which just happens to be a fistful of sand. His laughter attracts the attention of our friends, and soon we're all tossing sand at each other as the waves crash against the shore and the storm continues to build.
.
.
I missed something while I was lost in my memories.
It becomes abundantly clear when I snap back to the present and find everybody staring at me warily. "What? What is it? Sorry, I...zoned out, for a second."
Bella gently squeezes my shoulders, and for the first time this morning, I notice the redness around her eyes and the downward twist of her mouth. "The doctor has decided to keep Arlo in the induced coma for another twenty-four hours, at least. He wants to get a brain scan and make sure there's no swelling before he starts trying to wake him up."
There are so many things wrong with what she just said that I...well, I freeze.
Induced coma.
Twenty-four hours, at least.
Brain scan.
Swelling.
"I know, honey." Bella's arms wrap around me and Edward's are quick to follow, but all I can feel is emptiness, all I can think is that they're the wrong arms.
~ oOo ~
Brody and Reeese hang out for a couple of hours before they have to head home and pick up their kids from their grandparents.
Not long after they leave, I lose my spot at Arlo's bedside to two identical, crestfallen faces.
Jaxson and Finley sit on either side of him, each holding one of his hands. I can't bear to watch them break down, so I step away from the window looking into the room and join Bella, Edward, and Carlisle in the family room down the hall. It kills me to do it, to leave him even though he might have no idea I'm even here, but he's not just mine.
He's Bella and Edward's son, Jaxson and Finley's little brother. The sixers are too young to see Arlo like this, Bella and Edward have decided that, but their grandparents, aunts, and uncles will probably all want to visit at some point, and when they arrive, I'll share him because I have to, not because I want to.
"Come, sit," Bella says gently, patting the seat beside her. Instead of pacing until I can return to Arlo, I sigh and do as I'm told, letting Edward's and Carlisle's voices lull me into an almost dreamlike state leaning against Bella. With my head on her shoulder, my eyes closed, and my hands resting on my bump as the twins wriggle and roll, I can almost persuade myself this isn't happening and we're not in the hospital. Instead, we're at her house or in the apartment, stacks of baby clothes all around us as we brainstorm ideas for the nursery.
My stomach twists as I realize we never even got to tell Arlo that we picked out a theme yesterday. I was going to run it by him when he got back, only...he never did.
"Have you named those babies yet?"
My eyes pop open, finding Carlisle cocking his head at me curiously. "Umm, no. We have a couple of ideas, but nothing concrete."
He hums, shaking his head with a soft chuckle laced with nostalgia and wistfulness. "My Esme...she was a force when it came to choosing names for our boys. She hated anything modern or even remotely unique. I wasn't allowed to use any of my suggestions for this one or Jas. Of course, I didn't get to use any of the girl names I liked."
Mustering a smile, I adjust a little in my seat. I remember Esme, Carlisle's late wife. I met her a bunch of times and she was always super sweet to me. "Do you still remember them?"
Bella and Edward grin, eyes flicking between me and Carlisle as he tents his hands in his lap and nods. "Of course! There were two. I liked 'Elizabeth' first, but my real favorite, the name I would have found a way to talk Esme into using if we had been blessed with a daughter, was—"
The door flies open before he can say the name, Jaxson's deer-in-headlights expression ripping me up from my chair along with everyone else.
"What is it? What's wrong, Jax?" Edward asks, voice just loud enough to be too loud for a hospital.
"It's Arlo," Jaxson croaks. "He just...he was just lying there and then he...he…"
"He what, Jaxson?"
My blood runs cold when Jaxson, one of two boys I've always seen as a pseudo older brother, flicks his eyes between his parents and grandfather before they finally land on me. "He crashed. His heart stopped."
The last thought that crosses my mind before everything goes black is that it feels like mine has stopped, too.
~ oOo ~
"This isn't happening."
Heidi rubs my back in what I think are supposed to be soothing motions. "He's gonna pull through, Lakely. He is."
Demetri nods, though his expression screams of everything but confidence as his foot frantically taps the floor. Charlotte reaches over to squeeze his leg, and I'm vaguely aware that this seems to have pushed them closer together. Tyler is on the phone to his brother, apologizing for not being there to pick up one of his nieces from dance class. Liam is pacing up and down, and when the door at the end of the hall opens, he almost trips over his own feet in his rush to turn around.
We're all staring at Edward as he steps through, but it's me his eyes land on first. When he rakes his hand through his hair before rubbing the back of his neck, lips curving up just a tiny, tiny bit, I feel all the air rushing out of my lungs.
"He made it through surgery. They're taking Bella to see him in recovery now."
My friends release a collective sigh but I can't join them in their relief, not yet.
"What happened? Why did…" his heart stop beating?
Edward swallows hard, dropping into a crouch in front of me. His green eyes seem especially piercing ringed with red and bruised by lack of sleep. "They found a hairline fracture in one of his upper ribs and they think it might have nicked something, causing some bleeding around his heart, which was why it stopped. It couldn't pump right." I can see the effort it's taking him to get these words out, and I almost feel bad for asking the question, but what he's saying...it can't be real. It's something that happens in those dumb medical dramas my mom likes to watch. It isn't something that happens to real people.
To people like me and Arlo and the Cullens…
Except, as I glance around at my friends barely hanging onto their emotions, I realize it is. It is happening to us, to Arlo, and I can barely stand it.
"What—" Licking my dry lips, I start again. "What's happening now? Is it fixed?"
"Yeah, he's all patched up. They're still gonna keep him asleep for today, and depending on how he goes, they'll look at lowering his sedation tomorrow evening to see how he handles it."
"Okay," I whisper, blinking against the tears that want to fall.
"I'm gonna go update the rest of the crew." Looking at Heidi beside me, Edward offers us both a wan smile that goes nowhere near his eyes. "Will y'all be okay out here?"
"Uh-huh. We'll be fine, Mr. C." Liam hesitates before clapping Edward on the shoulder, and I can see that it means a lot to him when Edward straightens up and pulls him into a hug.
Liam may act like he's tough as balls, but he's as soft as the rest of us underneath the act.
He's as scared as we are, too.
He hangs onto Edward a beat longer than Edward holds him, then falls into a chair beside Demetri the second Edward is gone. "Fuck, man."
"Yeah," I breathe tiredly, looking at the clock.
Twelve twenty-four.
~ oOo ~
The rest of the day passes without any further complications.
Arlo finally gets brought back to the ICU after an hour and a half in recovery, and between all of us, he's never alone. Our friends linger long enough to find out that he's back in his room, then they say their goodbyes and remind me to keep them updated. Jaxson and Finley can't stay all day since they have classes tomorrow, too, so they leave before nightfall after extracting promises to be kept in the loop and informed the second Arlo is awake.
Their confidence in him bolsters mine. Their easy assumption that he will be awake soon replenishes some of the confidence I lost when Arlo's heart quit beating.
While Bella and Edward walk them out, I scoop Arlo's hand off the stark white sheet and hold it to my cheek, breathing him in, soaking up the warmth of his palm against my skin. I'm exhausted, my eyes desperate to close, but I can't let them.
I can't stop staring at him.
At his bandaged head, his closed eyes, and his unmoving lips.
The tube supplying his oxygen is taped to his face. I want to rip it off so I can see him properly, so I can see his smile even though it's not there right now.
My fingers tremble as I reach up, touching his full lower lip, the apples of his cheeks, and the straight lines of his jaw. He's losing any remnants of puppy fat he used to hold, his features getting more angular by the day.
My mind wanders to the one and only photo I've ever seen of his biological father and I can see the similarities, though Arlo still resembles his maternal family much more. I almost smile at the thought that if Arlo continues to look so much like Bella's dad as he gets older, I'll be a happy lady with him around to look at.
When I stroke the soft, tanned skin stretched over his strong shoulders, shoulders he carried me on throughout the fourth of July parade last year and the year before that, I see our daughters riding there, giggling and pulling his hair and kneeing him in the face like I used to do to my dad.
As my fingers wander down his arm and my fingers thread themselves around Arlo's, I picture him cradling our girls in those hands. I imagine him holding me with them, tucking my hair behind my ear, tickling the curve of my waist because he knows that's where I'm the most ticklish.
My stomach knots as I lean into the hand I'm holding against my face, eyes slipping shut.
I can see it all, Arlo. I just need you here with me to make it real.