Yo! This is my second time uploading this chapter bc FFN was being weird so if you got two update emails that is why. Sorry about that.
Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent
April 3rd: Tris
Tobias and I lay in my bed together, wrapped up in each other's arms. His head is buried in the crook of my neck as I run my fingers through the roots of his hair.
"How was physical therapy?" I murmur.
He cuddles himself closer to me, groaning, "Same old shit. I just want to be out of my fucking cast."
"I know baby. Soon, right?"
"Yeah, they're saying sometimes within these next couple of weeks, I guess."
I massage his head, splaying my fingers across his scalp, and he lets out a soft moan as he presses sweet kisses on my neck. Heat runs up my legs at this feeling, and no, we still haven't gotten to… since his injury.
"Tobias," I warn, "The door's open."
"Well then… close it."
"You heard what my mom said. You really wanna face the wrath of Natalie?"
"I know… I just miss being with you, baby."
"I miss it too… but think about how good it's gonna feel the next time we-"
"Hey kids!" My mom pops her head in the door, "Keeping it PG in here?"
Tobias pulls back from me slightly, "Yes," we both say in the same tired sounding tone.
"Okay, great, because-" A loud crash sounds from downstairs, followed subsequently by a stern 'Chase!' from my father, and then Chase's voice whining, 'It was Carson!' and Carson saying 'It wasn't me!'
My mom sighs, mumbling something about pushing a bunch of ingrates out of her and walks away to investigate the chaos downstairs. "I miss playing with them," Tobias mumbles.
"You're seventeen years old and you miss playing with two nine year olds?"
"Hey," Tobias pokes me in the side, which makes me giggle, "At least they're nice to me."
"Oh? And I'm not nice."
"Not really."
"I could be nice if I tried."
"Mmm… say something nice then."
"You're very good looking."
I feel him smile against my neck, "I like this 'nice' thing."
"You act like I haven't been driving you around these past few weeks."
"Mmm… no you're right. I'm really grateful for everything you've been doing."
"Yeah, just because I don't fall at your feet like the rest of my family doesn't mean I'm not nice."
"Speaking of which… Ezra and I have plans to catch a movie later this week."
I roll my eyes, "The fact that you spend more time with my brothers and father than I do-"
"Not my fault that they prefer my company."
"Sometimes I wish you weren't so good looking. You have good looking privilege and it just draws everyone to your charisma."
"That's a thing?"
"Only hot people think that good looking privilege isn't a thing!"
"Well… you're pretty hot… so-" He's starting placing gentle kisses on my neck again, and I make no moves to push him away since I know my parents are preoccupied with the twins downstairs.
Maneuvering himself on top of me with his injured leg proves a bit difficult for him, but once he's there he brushes my hair from my face and looks straight into my eyes, a loving gaze present. I never know what to do when he looks at me like that. I feel so… undeserving even after all these months. Christ, our 6 month anniversary is approaching and I'm still having these self deprecating thoughts?
"No… that's not the right adjective," he murmurs, still looking at me as if nothing else in the world matters, "You're beautiful."
His pupils have dilated considerably so that his eyes are nearly black as brings his head slightly down and kisses me with such fervor that I think I may float away. He still takes my breath away with his kisses, 6 months later.
"Tobias," I sigh, pulling apart for just one second and then rushing back in. He braces his forearms on either side of my head for balance and I'm so caught up in the moment. His kiss tastes like mint and passion and softness.
"Oh, gross," I hear, followed by subsequent gagging noises. Tobias and I break apart instantly to see Owen and Nathan standing in the doorway, looking rather disgusted.
"No one asked you," I seethe, grabbing one of my throw pillows and tossing it at them with intensity.
Nathan just barely dodges it, laughing, "Mom! Tris and Tobias are making out!" He calls down the stairs.
"Hey! What did I say about kissing in the bedroom?!" My mother shouts.
"Where else do you suppose we do it?" I call back with some sass.
Tobias laughs quietly, rolling off of me and grabbing his crutches from the wall. As he balances himself up, I flatten my hair and pull my shirt back down, trying to ignore my neediness for Tobias. God, I miss him. All in good time, Tris. All in good time.
"I have half a mind to not let you two in your room at all, young lady," my mother snaps, and I sigh, knowing these are all empty threats.
"I'm sorry, Natalie. It won't happen again," Tobias calls back apologetically.
My mother's tone softens significantly, "Well, thank you, Tobias."
Oh… if only she knew some of the things we did… in my room, in his room, on his couch… But she can't. Especially because after she found out one of my own friends was pregnant she was horrified, and instantly asked if I was having sex. I said no to assuage her worries, but honestly, we use protection and we're really safe about everything.
Even if Shauna wasn't with child, I probably wouldn't tell my mother about Tobias and I. It'd just lead her to worry about a possible pregnancy and not being ready to be a grandmother yet since she still has a 2 year old child and then she'd go down the rabbit hole. We can't have that. But really, how naive can this lady be? We've been dating for 6 months, for God's sake, and she even lets him spend the night here sometimes. Does she really think we just keep to our own bedrooms? And what does she think we do when we're alone? Just kiss? Oh well, I wouldn't have it any other way. I remember Marcus finding out about Tobias and I and how relaxed he was… my mom would definitely not be like that.
My dad isn't as naive as her, but I don't think he likes to think about what Tobias and I may do behind closed doors. And in all honesty, I'm okay with that. But still… he's given me the 'be responsible' talk as well.
"Hey, guys, wanna play some Call of Duty?" Tobias asks Nathan and Owen, crutching over to them.
"Sure," they both respond in unison.
"See ya, Tris," Tobias flashes a teasing grin my way, leaving me alone on my bed. My brothers laugh as they follow him over to the game room, with me glaring behind them, hoping to shoot daggers into their backs with my stare. Assholes.
"Oh, you're not mad," Tobias says playfully, grabbing my right hand off the steering wheel and trying to hold it.
I slap his hand away, keeping my eyes on the road, "Yes I am."
"Tris!" He says disbelievingly, "We were just joking around. You know I'd much rather kiss you… we were just busted and I knew that if I stayed in that bed with you I would just be taunted by some of my… thoughts."
"Well… good luck getting anymore kisses from me," I say with more determination than I feel. I'm not really mad at him. A little annoyed that he left me lying on my bed like that to go game with my little brothers… but why not punish him for it a little bit? He doesn't get to take me for granted, that's for sure.
"Oh, really," he states, and I glance over to him from the road to see he's smirking arrogantly. He's so fucking hot- how am I planning on keeping my hands off of him again? "So, you're holding out on me."
"Yep," I say, popping the p as I make a rather jerky turn onto the next street. Shit, I'm driving like Christina now.
"Okay, well in that case… I'm holding out on you. I know you won't be able to resist me for long, though."
"Someone thinks very highly of themselves."
"That's right. Let the games begin, Prior."
Grrr…
Zeke and Shauna's apartment is fully unpacked and far more furnished than the last time I was here, which was Valentine's Day… the same day we adopted Milo. I smile, thinking about our puppy, who isn't really a puppy anymore. And then I think about how loving Tobias is with him, and how much the two of them care for each other. God, all this is seriously going to impede my ability to not kiss him.
We arrived at their apartment complex about 5 minutes ago, and I helped Tobias out of the car on his crutches before walking to the building 10 feet in front of him. We ran into Uriah and Marlene on our way up, who both gave us odd looks for standing on opposite sides of the elevator. I know Tobias has been back here a few times to visit his two friends, but I have not seen Shauna in over a month, and she's showing even more now.
"Hi, Tris!" She exclaims, her cheeks glowing as she pulls me in for the best hug she can manage with her baby bump. I know pregnancies can turn some women into vicious, hormonal messes, I've seen my own mother in those states for five different pregnancies, but for Shauna it just seems brings out her bubbly and exuberant nature even more. I'm sure she has her ugly moments, though, it can't be all rainbows and sunshine over here.
"Hello! Look at you!" I exclaim, "You look amazing!"
"Aww, you're so sweet, come on, let me introduce you to everybody! And Tobias! Get over here!" She demands.
I give Tobias a fleeting look as he crutches over here from where he was hanging back in the apartment. Today is Shauna's baby shower slash late birthday party. Her birthday was on the first of April, so she and Zeke decided to have a party for her birthday today, but then their family sprung on a surprise baby shower on the same day at the last minute.
Obviously Tobias would be invited, he's their best friend, but seeing as I don't know either of them very well I didn't expect an invitation. I was wrong, though, because Tobias told me about how everyone really wanted me to come. And he also confessed he knew nothing about what to do gift-wise… so I complied, though now I feel rather out of place.
Shauna approaches the small group of people with her arm thrown around my shoulder, "Everybody, this is Tris!" They all call out some form of greeting to me, "Tris, you already know Uriah, Marlene, Sofia, and my sister Lynn… this is my mom; Wanda, my dad; Paul, and my little brother Hector. And of course, Mr. and Mrs. Pedrad."
Hmm… so these are Zeke and Uriah's mysteriously wealthy parents who own the huge ass mansion. "Please, call me Hana," their mother says kindly. She's a short and small woman, but she can no doubt hold her own.
"And call me Keith," Their father adds on. Well, now I know where Zeke and Uriah get their handsomeness from. Their father is a good looking man who still could pass for age 30, and he has a very charming grin. If only the parents both knew that I've been high off my ass in their bathroom, smoked weed in their backyard, passed out on their couch, played truth or dare and gotten hammered in their guest house before spending the night with my boyfriend in their guest bed… shit.
I nod and smile politely, "It's so nice to meet you all."
"So this is the lovely girl who quote unquote 'changed you'," Hana says, looking behind me to Tobias.
I turn back to him with a teasing grin and find that he looks rather bashful now, stuffing his hands in his pockets and observing the floor. However, this stance backfires and one of his crutches falls out from underneath him. I hold back a chuckle.
"Yeah, yeah, Tris and Tobias are adorable," Shauna says, waving her hand dismissively, "But today is about me! And my baby! Zeke!" She screeches his name at the top of her lungs.
"I'm coming!" He calls out from wherever he is.
Shauna rolls her eyes, muttering something about incapable boyfriends before heading over to the other side of the kitchen, picking up Tobias's crutch and shoving it back into his arms on her way.
I have her gift clutched in my hands, one for her birthday and one for her baby, and I place it gently on the table next to the others that I see.
"Hey Tris," Uriah whispers to me, "How are ya?"
"Doing well, you?"
"Great. Today should be fun. We're all glad you're here. Tobias has been like a part of my family for a while now, and my mom and dad are excited to meet you."
"Well, that's really nice. Are you excited for the baby to arrive?"
"Oh, yeah. We all are. My parents are excited to be grandparents, and I think Shauna's are too. Me and Hector are excited to be Uncles, and she won't say it, but Lynn is secretly excited to be an Aunt."
I look over to the boy who is supposedly Hector. He can't be no older than 12, and he has large curls that frame his face. He chats with his parents animatedly, standing close to his sister, Lynn, as well. He catches my eye and waves. I wave back, chuckling a little.
"Hector's a sweetheart," Marlene says, "The Larsons were worried about Shauna's decisions being a bad influence on him but he's been really excited about baby stuff, right Uri?"
"Yep. He claims he's gonna be the favorite out of all the Aunts and Uncles. BS in my opinion. That baby is gonna love us, Mar."
"Oh, yeah," Marlene says in all seriousness and I laugh a little. I'm glad that Zeke and Shauna seem to have such a good support system.
I notice Zeke come out from the side hallway and approach Tobias. He claps him on the shoulder and says a few words to him before they both disappear back to wherever Zeke came from. "What is Zeke doing?" I ask them.
"I think he's icing Shauna's cake. He didn't want to do it in the kitchen around everyone because he gets nervous."
"Interesting."
Shauna comes back to our side of the kitchen and begins forcefully placing plates down on each seat at their circular kitchen table. It seems as if many chairs have been crammed in to make space for all of us. "Shauna, do you need help?" I ask.
"Nope! That's alright, thanks Tris! Where did Tobias go?" She asks, just noticing his absence.
"Somewhere off with Zeke," Uriah says.
"Hmmph!"
"Shauna, sit down baby, we got it. We threw this party and shower for you," her mother interjects.
Shauna sighs, but complies and sits down in her chair as the rest of us get the table set up for cake. We've just finished setting the silverware up when Tobias and Zeke reappear rolling a small table with a cake on it. The frosting is blue and beautifully done, and reads 'Happy Birthday Shauna!' underneath it in smaller writing says 'The best future mom'. There are 18 candles on the cake.
At once everyone begins singing for Shauna, whose mouth has fallen down in shock. Clearly she didn't have much confidence in Zeke's frosting abilities, but I have a feeling Tobias helped a little bit in that department. So sweet- fuck. I keep forgetting that I'm still 'annoyed' with him.
As we finish the last line of the Happy Birthday song, Shauna's lower lip is wobbling and her eyes are tearing up. She thanks us and tells us she loves us and she doesn't understand how she got so lucky and she's so excited for her baby to know all of us.
I smile a little and look over to Tobias who is watching her with an emotional look in his eyes. I wonder how he feels about all of this. Zeke and Shauna are his best friends, and he's watching them become parents at such a young age. I already know that Tobias will be a great help with this baby, though. Thinking about how good he is with my kid siblings makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
His eyes meet mine, and he raises his brows slightly, lifting a hand in greeting. I lift one back. Jesus Christ, I love him so much.
We had cake and chatted for a bit. I got to know the Larsons and the Pedrads and truly see for myself how well this baby is going to be taken care of. Tobias and I sat opposite each other at the table, making eye contact occasionally. I'm too prideful to concede in our game first, though, so I'll still have to be fake annoyed at him. Whatever, it's kind of fun.
After that, we started the baby shower portion of the event. Shauna's family knows that she doesn't care much for gender games, so we did some other activities. We all went around guessing the due date of the baby, Shauna is supposed to be due in late June to early July. A beautiful, summer baby. I wrote my guess (June 25th) on their large Calendar board. It'd honestly be funny if the baby was born on that day, because that's my brother Leo's birthday and Christina's birthday as well. If I guess correctly I get a mystery prize.
The second game was Shauna trivia, which I did rather poorly at considering this is the first year I've really gotten to know Shauna. A lot of the questions were related to Shauna's time in infant and childhood, so naturally, her family got the most points. Tobias knew quite a few as well, though. But her sister, Lynn, ended up getting the most right, and therefore winning a starbucks gift card. Zeke was rather embarrassed for himself.
The last activity is rather simple. We're all creating decorations for the baby. Marlene, the talented artist, is clearly showing off, decorating baby blocks with intricate floral designs and butterflies, meanwhile I'm trying to decorate this onesie.
"Hey," I feel a dip in the sofa as Tobias sits next to me, setting his crutches to the side. He has paint on his cheek and his hair is tousled up in the sexiest way possible.
"Hi."
"Some baby shower, huh?"
"Yeah, it's pretty fun, though. Zeke and Shauna have great families."
"They do," Tobias agrees, looking around the room. Shauna chats animatedly with Lynn and Sofia as they do their own crafts, Zeke and Uriah seem to be having a fight with glue instead of actually creating anything, the parents are chatting together in the corner of the room, and Marlene has put her blocks down and seems to be helping Hector with his own project now. "So… are you still mad at me?"
My face breaks out into a teasing smile, "Giving up so soon?"
"I've only gone a couple hours without kissing you, Tris, and it's pure agony."
My heart rises at those words, but I still want to give him a hard time so I shrug passively, "Well… on the other hand, you are not as irresistible as you thought."
"Really," he states.
"Yes."
"You're telling me you do not want to kiss me… not even one single bit."
"Nope," I focus on the onesie.
In an instant he's slid over on the couch next to me and wrapped his arms around me.
"Get off," I say, batting his hands away, even though there's nothing I want more than to have them wrapped around me so I can cuddle up next to him and breathe in his scent. God, I am weak.
He plants a fat kiss on my cheek and I laugh a little but swallow it down quickly since I'm supposed to be annoyed right now. The truth is, sitting here amongst Zeke and Shauna's family, seeing how much they love each other and how excited they are for a future together, has me thinking about where my future heads with Tobias. I know I want to pursue a higher degree, and so does he… it's unrealistic to assume we'll both be attending the same institutions… but… I also know that I can't imagine a future without him. I can have both, right?
It's far too early for me to think about kids or anything with him… no… I don't let my mind wander that far. Even marriage is something I don't touch upon often. But… being together? Being sure of the future and keeping each other constant company and providing one another with love? That's something I'm certain I want to have with him, no matter what.
"I know you're enjoying this, Beatrice."
I grumble something not very kind to him and go back to working on my onesie. He watches me work for a while, not saying anything, but his eyes on me start to get irritating so I acknowledge his presence after a few long minutes.
"Yes?"
"I love you."
I press my lips together and sigh, "I love you too."
"Will you kiss me now? You've made your point. I will never ever ever ever ever leave your side for anything ever again."
"Good. That's what I wanted to hear," I deadpan before grabbing the shirt of his collar and colliding his lips into mine. He smiles into the kiss, putting one hand on my face for support as he continues kissing me, hard. I forget we're at a whole baby shower for a second, but when I remember I pull back, wanting to be appropriate in front of the Larsons and Pedrads. I smile at Tobias, my compassionate, funny, aggravating, handsome, and magnanimous boyfriend.
"You're cute," he lets me know.
I kiss the tip of his nose, running my fingers back through his hair, "I'm excited for our future, you know?"
He grins, "Me too."
The night of our first date when we went to the lookout and were completely honest about our feelings… I was terrified. After everything unfolded with Nita, I was terrified. The night I lost my virginity to him, I was also terrified. Because I kept deciding to give myself more and more parts of me and wondering if he would break me. He very much has the power to do so. But at the same time, he was subsequently giving me parts of himself as well. I could break him just as easily as he could do to me. But that's what I love about it, and that's what I love about the fear. I'm still terrified… but it's like Leo told me on Thanksgiving. There's something so beautiful about giving someone your entire heart and knowing they have the power to shatter it… it's because your love for them beats your fear. Whatever happens in the future for us, I'll remember that.
A more lighthearted chapter! Please leave a review if you'd like! I love reading them, it completely makes my day :)
Have a good one!
-Kiki