Author's Notes:
Thank you so SO very much to all of you who have been faithful readers and reviewers- your dedication and encouragement have kept me going. Your comments mean SO much to me!
So, I don't want to make Harry's trauma the focal point of this story, but I do think it influences some of his behavior. Not just in his inability to control his emotions and his tendency to regress at times, but also in how he deals with his anxiety. As someone who has experienced PTSD, one of the surprising ways some people deal with the anxiety that comes with trauma is to seek out risky situations. Somehow, wires get crossed and sometimes you can only feel "normal" when your brain is flooded with adrenaline. Calm situations make you feel anxious, and risky situations make you feel calm. Since Harry hasn't learned how to identify, articulate or process these feelings, he sometimes acts on them. Just wanted to give some context.
Snape awoke with a start, disoriented. It took him a moment to take in his surroundings and realize he had fallen asleep in the armchair in Llewelyn's cottage. Dammit. He looked up at the clock, he'd been asleep for over an hour.
He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck, moving his head side to side to relieve the slight cramp.
It was nearly 2:00pm. Remembering he would need to prepare dinner later, he walked into the kitchen to see if he could make do with anything already laying around. He really wasn't really in the mood to go grocery shopping today.
Searching through the cabinets, he found several cans of beans and tomatoes. He opened the freezer hoping to find some frozen meat or vegetables, but it was empty save for a few ice trays.
After browsing through the spices, he figured he could hobble together a vegetarian chili. It wouldn't be anything elaborate, but it would do. Then he and Harry would still have time to do some school work and have an easy evening.
He walked back to Harry's room and gently opened the door. Harry was curled up on his side, still asleep. He was tempted to let him sleep a bit longer, but he wanted him to go to bed at a reasonable hour.
He knocked on the open door gently. "Time to get up, Potter."
Harry moaned a bit and rolled over.
"I want you up and in the kitchen in fifteen minutes to start your school work." Snape closed the door, hoping Harry would do as he was told.
Back in the kitchen, Snape put on the kettle and opened the back door. He took a quick stroll around the back garden. Even though they were half a mile from the shore, he could smell the salty sea air and feel the ocean breeze. He took a deep breath in, enjoying the fresh air and the quiet calm.
While it wasn't quite warm, it wasn't too cold either, so he left the backdoor open while he puttered around in the kitchen, preparing a tray of tea and biscuits.
He put the tea set on the kitchen table and poured himself a cup while he waited for Harry. Just as he was about to get up and check on the boy, Harry came barrelling out of his room with his books in his hands.
Harry dumped the books unceremoniously on the kitchen table. "I'm here," he said breathlessly. He plopped down in a kitchen chair and put both of his hands on the table.
"So it appears. As subtle as a bull in a china shop," Snape replied silkily. "Take a moment to compose yourself. We'll have tea and then get started." Snape opened a box of UHT milk he found in the cupboard. While he drank his tea black, he knew Harry liked milk.
Harry poured himself a cup and stirred in some milk and sugar. He dipped a biscuit into his tea and let it linger until it got soft. He popped it quickly in his mouth before it fell apart. He looked up at Snape and wiped a small drizzle of liquid as it slid down his chin.
"Charming," Snape said before continuing. "It will be a short day. I want us to take a walk before dinner. It's nice outside, it will be good to stretch our legs after a long day in the car." Snape sipped his tea and nodded at the school books. "Wipe your hands and then pull out your herbology book. We'll spend tomorrow morning going through the gardens, so it would be good to review."
Harry groaned slightly as he pulled out the book. "I hate herbology. It's so boring."
"Stop whinging. It's extremely important to have a strong foundation in herbology if you want to be good at potions." Snape scooted himself closer to the table so he could see Harry's book clearly.
They spent the next hour and a half going through an herbology lesson. Harry was surprised how quickly the time went with Snape talking him through the chapters and asking him questions as they went along. It was a drain on the Potions Master, but he recognized that it was a better use of time to walk Harry through the lessons rather than leave him to study on his own.
At quarter to four, Snape ended the lesson. "Take the dishes to the kitchen sink, Potter. We'll need to do them by hand. Hopefully that's not beyond your skill set."
"I used to do the dishes all the time at my relative's house," Harry replied, a bit indignant. "I'm not totally useless, you know."
"Excellent, then that will be one of your chores here," Snape replied as he stood up from the table. "Let's be quick about it. You wash and I'll dry."
Harry brought the tray to the sink and filled it with soapy water. As he washed and rinsed the dishes, Snape said nothing, but was quietly impressed. Clearly this was a chore Harry had done many many times before.
Snape dried the last saucer before wiping his hands on a clean dish towel. He turned to Harry. "Grab a light jacket and put on your trainers, then we'll head out."
"I don't need a jacket, I'm fine," Harry replied as he rinsed the sink. He shut off the water and grabbed the clean hand towel from Snape, drying his own hands. "It's not even cold outside."
"I didn't ask for your opinion. We're going to walk toward the sea, the temperature will drop and the air is moist. Now stop arguing and do as you're told." Snape's words were harsh, but his tone was light. He sounded like a nagging mother hen.
Harry sighed loudly and walked toward his room, not quite stomping, but with enough force on each step to ensure Snape knew he was irritated at the request.
"Without the attitude." Snape's voice rang out from the kitchen.
Snape made his way to his own room where he put on a dark gray sweater over his button-down. He took a quick look at himself in the mirror. You're too thin. He preferred the way he looked in his robes, he felt much more powerful. In his muggle clothes he felt...ordinary.
He returned to the parlor and found Harry sitting on the couch, lacing up his trainers. Harry looked up at Snape. "Where's your jacket, then?"
"Mind your cheek, Potter. I'm an adult, I decide if and when I need a jacket." Snape raised one eye-brow but his voice was relaxed. "Besides, I put on a sweater. Now let's go."
Snape grabbed the key off the small credenza in the hallway and the two walked out the front entrance. He locked the door behind them and slipped the key into his pocket.
They made their way up the gravel drive and took a left onto the long road. Harry jogged ahead a bit up a small hill. "I can see the ocean!" he shouted excitedly, looking back at Snape with a smile.
"We'll walk in that direction, then." Snape was glad he had on his sweater, the air got cooler as they reached the top of the hill. They followed a small path that led to a cliff overlooking a beach.
"How do we get down there?" Harry asked, leaning over the side of the jagged rocks.
"Don't stand so close to the edge," Snape scolded mildly. "I'm sure there's a way down, but we'll just walk on the bluffs for now." The wind whipped in Snape's hair as they made their way along the cliffs. He closed his eyes and took in the sea air, feeling totally at peace for a tiny moment in time.
They walked for nearly a mile alongside the ocean before turning back around. Harry had a lot of pent-up energy and ran back and forth ahead of Snape. By the time they made it back home, both of their faces were cold, wind-chapped and pink, but their bodies were warm from the vigorous exercise.
When they arrived home, Snape lit a fire in the parlor and made his way to the kitchen, Harry following on his heels.
"I'm making chili for dinner. We'll go to the shop tomorrow." Snape said as he pulled out everything he needed from the cabinet. He took out two small onions and a clove of garlic from the fridge and rolled them in his hand, smelling them. They looked a bit pathetic, but they weren't rotten. He turned to Harry, "Can you chop onions, Potter?"
Harry enthusiastically grabbed the small bulbs from Snape's hand. "Definitely! I'm a pretty good cook, actually. I used to cook all the time at my relative's."
Snape pulled out a large knife and a cutting board and placed it on the kitchen table. "Good. Get to work, then. Do a few cloves of garlic as well."
While Harry chopped, Snape opened up several cans of beans and tomatoes, and arranged the spices he needed from the cabinet. He then got out a large pot and put it on the stove. Although he didn't cook often, he was a pretty decent chef, treating it much in the same way he did his potions. But, as a single person, he hadn't had much need to cook for himself, especially when at Hogwarts. While he enjoyed good food, he felt his time was better spent doing other things so it wasn't something he'd done in ages.
When Harry finished chopping, he looked up at Snape. "I'm finished."
"Bring them here, Potter," Snape said, turning around from the stove and motioning with his hand. "We'll saute the onions and garlic first, and then add in some spices."
Harry brought the chopping board up to the stove. Snape stood over the pot much in the same way he stood over his cauldrons and the comparison wasn't lost on Harry. He had arranged all of his ingredients in front of him on the counter in the very same way he did when he brewed. He was meticulous, organized, and focused in all things, even cooking.
Snape took the chopped onions and garlic and scraped them into the pot before covering them with some oil and lighting the stove. He adjusted the flame so it was low, and picked up a wooden spoon. He waited for the oil to bubble gently before he spoke again.
"You want to saute on a low heat, and make sure you move everything around gently with your spoon. The garlic is especially prone to burn. You want the onions soft, but not brown." He explained to Harry as he cooked, keeping his eye carefully on the pot while he pushed the chopped aromatics gently around in the oil.
Harry stood by his side, watching him closely.
"OK, now hand me the paprika and the cumin." Harry moved quickly around to his left side to grab the herbs off the counter. He handed them to Snape who measured them out and dumped them into the pot. "It helps to add the spices directly to the oil on a low heat, it will help their flavors blossom," he explained. "Now the chili powder."
Harry handed him the chili powder which he added in as well. "Can you smell the flavors?" Snape asked, looking at Harry for the first time since he began.
Harry smiled up at him. "It smells amazing."
Snape nodded. "Now we'll add in the beans and tomatoes, then we can turn up the heat and let it simmer for a while." Snape grabbed two cans of black beans and a can of pinto beans and dumped them into the pot. Next he put in two cans of diced tomatoes. He stirred them all together and handed two empty cans to Harry. "Fill these up with water from the sink."
Harry did as he was instructed and handed them back to Snape who poured the water into the pot. "That's it, we'll wait for it to simmer and then leave it for a while to let the flavors soak in."
Snape continued to stand over the pot while Harry washed the knife and cutting board at the sink. When the contents of the pot started to bubble, he turned the fire down slightly and covered it before returning the spices back to the cabinet.
The two relaxed quietly in the parlor while the chili slowly cooked. Snape edited some manuscripts he was working on and Harry read quietly in front of the fire.
At 6:30pm, Snape sent Harry to set the dinner table while he went to the stove to serve up the chili. He did some last minute seasoning and adjustment of the salt and pepper, and once satisfied, he ladled it into two bowls. He found a small block of cheddar cheese in the fridge and brought it to the table.
Harry slurped up the chili. "This is really good." He smiled at Snape, who responded with a nod and a brief smile.
"Thank you for your help today. Tomorrow we'll go to the market and stock up on fresh food."
When they finished their meal, Harry did the dishes while Snape sat at the kitchen table and wrote out a grocery list. Ever the organized one, he first sketched out a week's worth of meals and then began adding necessary ingredients to the list along with the basics such as milk, eggs, bread, and butter.
"Is there anything you don't eat, Potter?" Snape looked up at Harry, "I don't want to cook a meal and then find out you won't eat it."
"I'll eat most things. Not a huge fan of ham, I guess, but I'll eat pretty much anything," Harry replied. After he finished the dishes, he sat back down at the table across from Snape, watching him as he scribbled on a notepad. Even with a simple task such as a grocery list, Snape was deep in concentration, his jaw tight and his eyes focused.
Snape looked through his plan. Breakfast was simple enough, and he figured he could get multiple meals out of each thing he cooked if he planned carefully. Tomorrow he would cook a chicken roast, and then he'd use the leftovers for sandwiches and chicken pot pie or soup. He was pretty sure they could have three days worth of meals from that if he managed correctly.
"What kind of biscuits do you like with your tea?" Snape looked up from his list at Harry who was sitting patiently and quietly across from him at the table.
"I like the McVitie's chocolate digestives best. But gingersnaps are good. Oh, and I love Jammie Dodgers!" Harry's mouth started to water as he thought about his favorite biscuits.
"In other words, you like all of them," Snape replied, drolly. "What do you like in the morning? We're not at Hogwarts so you'll not be getting 20 things to choose from."
"Eggs, toast and jam, porridge...I'm not that fussy, really. I used to not even get breakfast at the Dursleys, so it's not that big of a deal." Harry shrugged his shoulders.
Snape stopped writing and looked up from his list in disgust. "That's ridiculous. You're a growing boy, and as long as I'm around there will be no more missing meals. Ever again." He looked back down at his notepad and huffed loudly. He mumbled to himself with his head down,"Unbelievable. I can't believe they withheld food from you. Utterly shameful."
"I'd sneak food at night sometimes so I wouldn't be too hungry in the morning, it was alright." Harry wasn't sure what to say, he could tell Snape was properly incensed to find out he had been refused basic meals.
Snape slammed down the pen and looked up. "There's no excuse for what they did, Potter. I hope you know, while I won't tolerate gluttony, I don't want you to ever go hungry here. If you're hungry, you tell me or you help yourself to the kitchen. Are we clear?"
"Yes, sir." Harry didn't smile, but he felt his insides warm knowing that Snape cared for him enough to make sure he would never be hungry. He paused for a moment before adding, "Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me for being a decent human being. Honestly, Potter." Snape shook his head and let out a deep breath. He looked down his list but now he was upset and having difficulty concentrating. He made a mental note to add this to his list of grievances when he spoke to Dumbledore. He put his pen down and sat back in his chair. He'd review his list again tomorrow before they went to the shop.
Snape stood up from the table and ran a hand through his hair. He looked down at Harry "What will it be tonight? Do you want to play chess or work on the puzzle?"
"Let's play wizarding chess!" Harry jumped up from the table and ran to his room where he pulled the box out of his trunk, returning to the parlor to set it up.
Snape walked over to the kitchen cabinets, looking to see if Llewelyn kept any wine or whiskey around. He found an old bottle of cooking sherry, but quickly put it back. He wasn't that desperate. He returned to his grocery list and added "booze." Although he didn't make it a habit to drink often, he did enjoy an occasional nightcap after a long day. Today would be one of those days, but alas, he'd have to go without.
He returned to the parlor and sat down on the couch. Harry sat on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table and unfolded the board. Snape reached gently into the box and started to put chess pieces on the black and white squares.
Over the next hour, they played two games. Snape won both of them, but Harry held his own. After the last match, Snape looked up at the clock. "Time for bed, Potter."
Harry looked up and scowled. "It's only 8:05, can't we play one more game?" he pleaded.
"Absolutely not. It's been a long day. Go to your room and get ready for bed, I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Snape said matter of factly.
Harry stayed on the floor and looked up at Snape, giving him puppy dog eyes and a melodramatic frown, hoping he'd change his mind.
"Potter, put the game away and go get ready for bed. I'm not going to tell you again." Snape's voice was calm, but firm.
After giving an exasperated sigh, Harry put the board and the pieces back into the box and walked to his room.
Fifteen minutes later, Snape knocked on his door and entered to find Harry sitting up in bed, waiting patiently in his pajamas.
Seeing no chair, Snape sat on the edge of Harry's mattress. "Did you brush your teeth?"
"Yep!" Harry replied. He gave Snape a broad smile, showing off all of his teeth.
"Good. Now I want to talk about your behavior earlier today." Snape kept his voice calm and soft, but he gave Harry a disappointed look.
Harry's ears turned bright red and a blush crept across his face. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sure you are. Do you remember what I said my three main rules were, Mr. Potter?"
Harry dropped his head down and fidgeted with his hands on the quilt. "Yeah."
"Eyes up please. Tell me." Snape put a finger under his chin and gently lifted his face.
"No disrespect, no lying, and do what you say."
"That's correct. I don't expect you to be perfect, but today you were extremely disrespectful several times. I know you know better than that, and it was very disappointing to hear you speak so rudely to me. The fact that you did so in front of Master Barclay made it even worse."
"I know, but you were being really mean and unfair to me. I just got frustrated." Harry replied, looking down again at the quilt.
"We've discussed this before. You're entitled to feel frustrated or angry, but that will not ever excuse disrespectful behavior or name calling. You've been punished, so we'll put this behind us, but I'm very serious about breaking this habit of yours, Mr. Potter. I want you to make an effort to control your attitude and your mouth when you get upset. I'm not going to tolerate it. Do you understand?"
Harry felt genuinely bad. In the moment, he'd felt completely justified and he couldn't have cared less what Snape or Barclay thought, but now, hours later, he was embarrassed about what he'd said. "Yes sir, I understand. I'm really sorry. I just get angry sometimes and things just come out."
Snape nodded. "I appreciate your apology, but I want to see you do a better job at controlling yourself. So, next time you feel angry or frustrated or upset, I want you to imagine a Stop sign in your mind. Then I want this image to remind you to take deep breaths before you speak. Let's try it."
Harry looked at Snape quizzically and waited for him to guide him through the exercise.
"Close your eyes and imagine a Stop sign. Now take a deep breath in. Hold it for five seconds and let it out slowly." Snape watched Harry as he exhaled, his eyes closed. "Then you keep doing this until you feel better. Hopefully that will give you enough time to think before you speak."
Harry opened his eyes and stared back up at Snape. "OK, I'll try."
"Very good." Snape patted him gently above his knee. "Do you want me to read you a chapter in your book or do you want to read quietly to yourself for a few minutes?"
"Will you read to me, please?" Harry's eyes brightened and he smiled.
"Glasses." Snape put out his hand, taking the glasses and placing them gently on the bedside table. He stood up and went to Harry's trunk. He pulled out his book before walking to the wall and flipping off the overhead light. Although he was trying not to use too much magic, he pulled out his wand and cast a spell, producing a small orb of soft blue light that hovered above the bed. "We'll buy you a reading lamp tomorrow."
Snape sat back on the edge of the bed and opened the book. "Lay down and get comfortable." Harry snuggled down in the bed and turned onto his side facing Snape. "Now close your eyes...Good boy."
As usual, Harry drifted off to sleep before Snape finished the chapter, lulled by his low, calming voice and tired out by a long walk on the cliffs.
Snape continued to read for another page or two after he was sure Harry was asleep, slowly letting his voice get quieter and quieter until he was nearly whispering. He marked the page and closed the book, and pulled Harry's covers up around him.
Before he stood up, he brushed Harry's fringe gently from his forehead and stared at the lightning bolt scar. He traced it gently with his finger and his thoughts went immediately to Lily. Seeing Harry like this, his heart was full with a desire to care for and protect him. He smoothed the boy's fringe once again over his forehead before he whispered, "Goodnight, Harry. Sweet dreams."
The next morning, Harry and Snape wandered through Llewelyn's gardens. Snape taught Harry how to sketch out a map of each section in his lab notebook marking which important plants were found within. Snape had been curious to explore and was pleasantly surprised to find not only copious amounts of interesting potion's ingredients, but an herb and vegetable garden as well.
He had Harry harvest and organise several plants for brewing, as well as picking some herbs, zucchini, eggplant, tomatoes, and peppers to bring to the kitchen.
After lunch, the two went to the potion's lab where they spent time chopping, crushing, pickling, and extracting different components of the plants they'd use to brew future potions.
At 2:00pm, Snape decided it was time for an outing. He and Harry walked out to the garage and opened it up to find an old red Peugeot hatchback. Per Barclay's instructions, he found the key in the visor above the driver's seat.
Snape really hated driving, but he knew it was likely too far to walk with all of their groceries. There were two old bikes leaning up against the side of the garage, but even then they probably would struggle to get everything home. Besides, Snape didn't even know if Harry could ride a bicycle.
"Do you actually know how to drive?" Harry asked, sensing Snape's hesitation.
"Of course, Potter. My father was a Muggle, he had a car." He didn't bother to add that he was often too drunk to drive it, and Snape had had to go into town and bring it home on more than one occasion after he'd abandoned it outside a pub or some random woman's flat. Snape had never been properly taught to drive, and technically he didn't have a license, but he was pretty sure he could take the car a few miles into town without killing them. Hopefully.
Snape opened the driver's side door and looked at Potter. "Well? Get in, we don't have all day."
Harry opened the door and sat down. He was a bit nervous but he kept his mouth shut, recognizing that nothing good would come of him continuing to question Snape's driving ability. He clicked his seatbelt without prompting and said a silent prayer.
Snape fumbled with the keys, and it took him a moment to familiarize himself with the pedals and the gears before he finally reversed out of the garage. His brow was furrowed and he cursed to himself quietly as he attempted to do a three-point turn and pull out of the driveway. Harry was practically in cold sweats, but he said nothing, gripping the side of the seat for dear life.
Once on the main road, Snape managed to bring them into the village without any drama. The streets were quiet, and there was a grocery store, a pharmacy, a cafe, and several small shops all in a row. Snape pulled into a parking spot and put the car in park.
"You see, Potter, I don't know what you were being so dramatic about, I'm perfectly capable of operating a vehicle." Snape felt quite pleased with himself as he exited the car, closing the door behind him.
As they walked through the supermarket, Harry was on the verge of bursting out laughing. Seeing his intimidating Potions professor, in muggle clothes, pushing a shopping trolley and price-comparing boxes of pasta had to be one of the funniest things he'd ever seen. He wished he could take a picture and share it with Ron, he'd definitely get a kick out of it.
Snape stayed on task, going down his list and sticking to his plan with military precision. As a person who valued efficiency, he spent no time meandering aimlessly down aisles or impulse buying random items. He even split up the list and sent Harry to go fetch items in other parts of the store.
"Can we get some ice cream?" Harry asked casually as he placed eggs, milk and butter into the cart.
Snape looked up momentarily from his piece of paper. "It's not on the list, Potter. And you don't need any more sugar or I'll be pulling you off the walls."
When he was sure the man wouldn't see him, Harry rolled his eyes, Snape was no fun at all when it came to food. The fact that he got to have biscuits with his tea was pretty much the only time the man let him have something sweet.
"You may pick out whatever fruit you like to eat. If you need a snack between meals, that's what you can have."
Oh joy, Harry thought, how generous of you. He walked over to the produce section and picked out a couple of apples, some bananas, and a few oranges. Snape eyed his selections critically as he put them in the trolley, but he said nothing, seemingly approving of his choice.
As they stood in line for the check-out, Harry browsed the candy by the register, running his hands along the chocolate bars. He wanted to ask if he could have a Kit-Kat, but he knew the answer would be no.
"Don't even bother thinking about it, Potter," he heard the man say over his shoulder.
After they loaded the groceries into the car, Snape decided they would walk down the High Street to see what else was there. They took a brief detour into a bakery where Snape picked up a freshly baked loaf of multigrain.
Harry eyed the delicious baked goods but said nothing.
Snape saw him staring through the glass with longing and relented, not wanting to deprive him of an occasional treat. He had worked hard today and behaved himself quite well. "You may pick out one pastry, but we won't make a habit of it."
"Really? Thanks!" Harry pointed out a lemon tart and the nice young lady behind the counter boxed it up for him.
"You don't sound like you're from around here. Are you two here on holiday, then?" she asked, not recognizing either of them. Her name tag said "Sarah," and she looked like she was probably just 18.
Harry looked up at Snape who begrudgingly responded. "Something like that. We're staying in my cousin's cottage for a few weeks."
"Lovely," she replied in a sing-song Welsh accent. "I hope you enjoy your time here."
Snape did his best to eke out a smile. "Thank you…"-he looked at her nametag-"Sarah, I'm sure we'll be seeing you again." He nodded his head and grabbed his change, handing Harry the loaf of bread and the small packet with his tart.
Making small chat with strangers made Snape feel supremely uncomfortable. He loathed it, but he also didn't want to seem rude, especially in front of someone he was likely to see again. That said, he couldn't get out of the bakery fast enough.
They walked down the street until they came to a small second-hand shop. Snape walked in, hoping he'd be able to find a few things for Harry's room.
The elderly man sitting behind the counter greeted them cheerfully when they walked in. "Good afternoon, lads, can I help you with anything?"
Snape looked around. "Just looking for a few things for my...son's room." He paused at the word 'son'- it felt odd, but he felt his heart jump a little at the same time. "We need a small desk and chair for him to study."
Harry knew they were just playing along with their made-up backstory, but hearing Snape refer to him as his son made his heart swell. He'd never heard anyone refer to him as their son. Even if it wasn't real, it made him feel good and he immediately got into character.
"Hey dad, can I look around a bit?" Harry looked at Snape with a cheeky smile.
"Stay close by and try not to break anything." Snape scowled at him.
"Don't worry, dad, I won't!" Harry wandered around the store while Snape went to look at the furniture. He could have probably transfigured something into a desk, but it wouldn't last very long and the quality would be lacking. He was hoping Harry would spend a significant amount of time there, so he figured it would be worth investing in a proper piece of furniture.
The old man showed him to the back where there was a small student desk and chair. It looked quite old; the wood was worn and there were some scratches and ink marks on the surface, but it would certainly serve the purpose. Snape could always modify it as needed.
"This will work fine." He looked at the price tag, 40 pounds. Not cheap but not terribly expensive. Growing up rather poor, his mother had always haggled for a good deal and he couldn't give up the opportunity to see if he could save a few quid. "It's not in the best condition, I'll give you 30 pounds for it."
He picked up a small desk lamp with a 5 pound sticker on it. "And I'll take this as well."
The man nodded his head, "Alright, then. Do you need anything else?"
Harry popped up from behind them with a football in his hand. "Hey dad, can we get this too? Then I can play around with it in the yard during my breaks. Please?"
"Fine," he looked at the old man. "That will be all."
After Snape paid, he turned to Harry, "I'm going to go get the car, you stay here with our things."
Harry stood awkwardly alone in the store, staring out the window while he waited for him to return with the car.
Finally, the old man spoke up. "New in town, are you?"
Harry turned around to face him. "Um, kind of. We're just staying for a few weeks at our cousin's house," Harry replied, hoping the man wouldn't ask too many questions.
"I see. Are you not in school?" the man asked.
"Well, usually I am, but I've been ill. My dad's a teacher, so he's homeschooling me for the rest of the term." Harry replied, getting a bit into character. "He's pretty strict, I'd much rather be in regular school, but he won't let me. Hopefully I'll go back next year."
The old man chuckled out loud. "I got the feeling he was a no-nonsense sort."
"Oh yeah, he pretty much forces me to study from dawn 'till dusk. He almost never lets me have a break. Just work work work work, all day." Harry exaggerated.
Just then, Snape reappeared in the doorway. "What's that, then?"
"Your son was just telling me that you're quite the slave-driver, I hope you'll let him have a bit of time to enjoy the beautiful Welsh coast. He's a young lad, it'll do him some good to get some fresh air. It's good for his health," the old man said to Snape.
Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry before turning to the old man. "Thank you for your concern, sir, I assure you my son will have plenty of time to play outside, as long as he does his school work and behaves himself." He shot Harry a pointed look. "Now let's go, son, I need your help to get these things in the car."
As soon as they stepped outside, Harry couldn't help it, he erupted in laughter. "Don't be mad, father, I was only kidding."
"Hilarious. I'll make sure to laugh hysterically when I'm tanning your hide later," Snape quipped. "Now make yourself useful and put this in the car."
Snape desperately wanted to shrink everything down, but he obviously couldn't pull out his wand in the middle of town. Pretending to be a muggle was extremely inconvenient. He sighed loudly as he put down the backseat and shoved the desk, chair, lamp, and football into the boot. He had to arrange it several times before the hatchback would close, but he finally got it.
"Let's go, brat."
As soon as they pulled into the garage, Snape shrunk down all of the furniture and put it in his pocket. "Bring the groceries in, please and put them away while I set up the desk in your room."
Snape enlarged the desk, chair, and lamp in Harry's room. The desk was a little bit small, so he modified it appropriately, making it slightly wider and longer. He picked Harry's schoolbooks off the floor and lined them up against the wall at the back edge of the desk. He then carefully arranged his quills and colored pencils neatly on top before plugging in the lamp. He switched it on and off to make sure it worked. Perfect.
Even though it was a small thing, Snape had put thought and care into setting up Harry's desk just right, hoping he would have a nice space where he could work on his own. He wanted him to be able to write in his journal or color or draw in the privacy of his own room. Snape felt like his own desk was a place where he felt comfortable and happy, and he wanted the same for Harry.
Pleased with himself and the set-up, he rejoined Harry in the kitchen and helped him put away the rest of the groceries. It was not even 4:00pm yet. While he thoroughly believed Harry would benefit from studying for a few hours, he wanted him to get some fresh air and unwind.
"Do you want to go outside and play for a bit?" Snape asked Harry, as he closed the fridge.
"Can I fly?" Harry looked at him with hope in his eyes. "Pleeaaaaseeee?"
Snape paused for a moment, bringing one hand up to massage his forehead. "I need to put up the wards. And you'll need to stay within the boundaries. I mean it, Potter, if you go beyond the boundaries and someone sees you, we'll both be in a lot of trouble. They could take you away and I'd lose custody of you." Snape's voice was serious.
"I will, I promise! Please, I haven't been on my broom in ages." Harry folded his hands together and bent his knees, pleading with his whole body.
Snape took a deep breath in and out. "Fine, but you are not ever allowed out to fly without asking my permission, do you understand? I don't want there to be any mistakes with this. Go get your broom, I'll put up the wards and we'll walk the boundaries together."
Harry ran off to his room to get his broom, while Snape opened the back door and walked around in the garden, trying to decide where it was best to set-up the wards. As far as he could tell, there weren't any neighbors nearby. There was a small patch of trees up a hill to the right which would block visibility quite well, but it was less protected on the left.
Snape looked up as Harry bounded through the door with his broom in hand.
"I'm going to put up invisibility wards over the entire yard, but I want you to stay to the right of the house, it's more protected by the natural landscape. You will not fly higher than 30 feet, and your boundary is the trees over there and the back garden." Snape pointed to a small grove of trees leading up the hillside.
Snape moved his wand in a sweeping motion as he spoke incantations Harry had never heard before. For a moment, Harry could see a flash of green light as the boundaries illuminated briefly.
"When you get close to the boundary, you will feel it vibrate. That is your sign to back off. If you break through the boundary, the wards will alert me, and I swear to you Potter, you won't see that broom again until you're 30." Snape glared at Harry with his most serious Professor look. "Riding your broom is a privilege and a responsibility. One wrong move and you lose it, do you understand?"
"Yes sir, I understand. I won't cross the boundary, I promise."
"I certainly hope you keep that promise. Now, stay low, don't go too high, and for the love of Merlin don't do anything ridiculous on your broom, I don't want to have to regrow any bones."
"Can I fly now?" Harry was about to burst with excitement. His body was practically twitching in anticipation.
"You may. But I'll be watching you. Don't you dare do anything daft." Snape looked right into Harry's eyes. "Off you go, then."
Harry jumped on his broom and flew up into the sky, reveling in the freedom and ecstasy of cruising through the air. He smiled so widely he felt like his face might cramp, but he couldn't contain the pure joy he felt being back on his broom.
Snape wanted to leave him to it, but he was afraid, so he stood there for nearly ten minutes, watching Harry fly through the air, swooping and dipping and doing the occasional flip. Finally he decided to leave the boy alone for a little while and he returned to the parlor. He attempted to read for another half an hour, although he had trouble concentrating, constantly feeling the urge to go to the window and check on Harry.
At 5:00pm, Snape walked back into the garden and motioned for Harry to bring it in. Harry, not wanting to give him any reason to take his broom away, quickly returned to the back garden and landed on the ground with a jolt.
"I hope you enjoyed yourself," Snape said, relieved that Harry was back in one piece.
Harry was slightly out of breath and his face was glistening with sweat and pink from the wind and his exertion. "That was brilliant. Thank you so much."
Snape nodded toward the door. "Go put your broom away and clean yourself up. Then meet me back in the kitchen and we'll get started on dinner." Snape put a hand on Harry's back and guided him through the door, closing it and locking it behind him.
Harry and Snape made small talk in the kitchen as Harry cut up veggies to go with the roast. They would roast the chicken with potatoes and onions in the oven, seasoned with fresh rosemary and sage they picked that morning. On the stove, Snape prepared a kind of modified ratatouille, sauteing zucchini, tomatoes, and eggplant from the garden to create a bright vegetable medley.
Snape was quite pleased with the way his dinner turned out, and he enjoyed having Harry's company in the kitchen. True to his word, Harry remained helpful, washing and prepping vegetables and cleaning the dishes as they went along.
At the end of the meal, Harry did the dishes while Snape put away the leftovers and wiped down the kitchen counters. They were a good team.
"That was so delicious. I've never had vegetables straight from the garden before, that was brilliant!" Harry said. He finished washing the last plate before turning to look at Snape. "Can I have my lemon tart for dessert?"
Snape nodded. "It's in the fridge. You don't have to eat it all tonight, it might be prudent to divide it in half so you can enjoy some again tomorrow night."
Harry heard him but put the whole thing on a plate and sat down at the table. He looked up at Snape. "Do you want some?"
"No, thank you, Potter. You enjoy."
After dinner, Harry brought out the puzzle and worked on it quietly while Snape did more editing of his manuscript. He took an occasional break to put some of the puzzle together, but for the most part they were pretty quiet having spent the entire day in each other's company.
At 8:15, Harry was sent to get ready for bed, and Snape, preoccupied with his work, told him he could read or write in his journal until lights out at 9.
Harry had hoped Snape would come in and read to him, but when the man appeared at 9pm, he merely turned off the lights and told him to go to sleep. Harry tried not to feel disappointed, but he did. He laid awake for nearly an hour before he could fall asleep.
His sleep was fitful. He wasn't having horrible nightmares, but strange dreams kept waking him. At 4am, awoken for what felt like the fifth time, he couldn't get back to sleep. He turned on his new reading lamp and attempted to read, but he felt too restless.
He got up and walked to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water and hoping that would settle his mind a bit. When it didn't, he moved to the parlor and sat for a few minutes in front of the dying fire. He tried to work on the puzzle, but he couldn't even focus on that.
Harry was totally wired, and he wanted to get some fresh air and just move. He opened the back door and stood in the doorway, breathing in the cool night air. It was nearly a full-moon, so despite being the darkest time of the night, he could see the plants and flowers illuminated clearly in the garden. Just walking out in the night air, he had an overwhelming urge to fly on his broom.
He walked back in and sat on the sofa, contemplating his next move. He knew he wasn't allowed out on his broom without Snape's permission, but it was the middle of the night. He would stay inside the boundaries and besides, it was dark, no one would see him. He was sure just 10 minutes on his broom would calm his mind and he'd be able to sleep.
The small voice in the back of his head was telling him it was a terrible idea, but once his mind was set, he couldn't change it. He walked to his room and got his broom. He pulled on a hoodie for warmth and slid his trainers on, grabbing his broom as he walked out.
Within a minute, Harry was flying through the air. He pulled his broom up high enough so he could see the ocean in the distance and then swooped down to the trees, making sure he didn't get too close to the boundaries. He always felt a rush when he flew, but this time it was magnified by the fact he knew he shouldn't be out there. The adrenaline rush calmed his restlessness and flying in the moonlight put his mind at ease.
After 15-20mins, he was starting to get cold and he could tell the sun would be coming up soon. He landed in the grass, already damp with dew, and crept quietly back inside. The house was quiet and Snape's door was still closed. He breathed a sigh of relief as he gently closed his bedroom door, putting his broom in the corner and pulling off his trainers and hoodie before climbing back into bed. He fell asleep quickly, a smile still on his face.
Snape awoke well-rested and made his way to the kitchen to have his cup of tea and a few moments to himself reading before he woke Harry. As he went to put on the kettle, he noticed a few smudges of dirt on the kitchen floor. He furrowed his brow, how had he missed this last night? He was sure the kitchen was spotless before he went to bed last night.
He wet a rag in the kitchen sink and bent down to clean it.
At 7:30, he went in to wake Harry. He knocked loudly and said "It's morning, up you get. Take a shower and be down for breakfast in thirty minutes."
At 7:45, Snape still hadn't heard the shower, so he went back to the boy's room. Harry was laying in bed, still very asleep. Snape walked over to his bed and roused his shoulders. "It's time to get up, Mr. Potter. You're already running late. Get up this instant." He crossed his arms and loomed over Harry while he stirred.
"I'm tired, I don't feel well," Harry moaned, rolling over to face away from Snape. "Just let me sleep."
"Are you sick?" Snape asked, unsure whether he should be concerned that Harry was ill, or angry that he was being played. "What's wrong with you, then?"
"I'm tired. I just need to rest." Harry mumbled into his pillow.
Snape put a hand on the boy's forehead, it felt cool. "You don't have a fever, Potter. Is something hurting you?"
Harry stayed silent, the truth was he was just exhausted from not sleeping, he knew there was nothing wrong with him. "I don't know, just leave me alone."
Snape took a deep breath and closed his eyes while he exhaled loudly. "If there's nothing wrong with you, Potter, you're going to get up right now. This isn't a holiday, you will not laze about in bed all day. Get. Up. Now." He pulled the covers off the boy.
"Stoppp," Harry whined, grasping for the quilt.
"I'm going to count to three, and if you're not off the bed and on your way to the shower, you will not like what happens next." Snape was irritated, he wasn't a morning person anyway, and it was taking everything he had to keep himself from losing his temper. "One…"
Harry rolled over, moaning.
"Two…" Snape dragged out his count and gave Harry a serious look.
Harry sat up and scowled at Snape. "I'm up. Jeez."
"Out of bed, now. Let's go." Snape took his arm and pulled him out of the bed. He put a hand on his back and pushed him toward the door. "Into the shower, now. I want you showered, dressed, and downstairs in a much more agreeable mood in fifteen minutes."
Harry mumbled and moaned as he walked to the washroom and Snape shook his head. It wasn't even 8:00am yet and he was already exasperated.
Fifteen minutes later, Harry dragged himself dramatically to the kitchen table and plopped down in a chair, sighing loudly as he did so.
"Well, good morning to you as well, Mr. Potter. Did you sleep well?" Snape said, sarcastically, putting down a plate of eggs and toast in front of Harry.
Harry didn't say anything and reached for his juice, leaning his head on his left hand that was propped up on the kitchen table.
"Sit up properly, and take your elbow off the table," Snape said, his tone more stern. "Mind your table manners, we're not in a barn." He reached across the table and tapped Harry's elbow firmly.
Harry put his arm down and picked up his fork, scooping up a fork full of eggs and shoving them into his mouth without making eye contact with Snape. He was tired and wasn't in the mood to be nit-picked about table manners this early in the morning.
Snape leaned back in his chair and stared at Harry while he sipped his tea. He could see the dark circles under his eyes. He had sent the boy to bed at a decent time, there shouldn't be any reason why he'd be this tired. He knew something wasn't right.
"When I came into the kitchen this morning, I saw something curious, Potter. Do you know what that was?" He paused for a moment to allow Harry to contemplate his rhetorical question.
Harry stopped chewing and looked up at Snape, his eyes flashing momentarily with fear. They quickly glazed over again and he shook his head before looking back down at his plate and shoveling another helping of eggs into his mouth.
"It looked like small muddy footprints across the kitchen floor. I could have sworn I left the kitchen clean last night before we went to bed. Do you know anything about this?" He kept his voice nonchalant but he watched Harry's face carefully, waiting to see how he would respond.
Harry looked up at Snape, "My trainers must have been muddy yesterday. Sorry, I'll make sure I take them off before I come into the house next time." He lied with ease, appearing to be completely unaffected by the question.
"Are you sure you weren't sleepwalking again, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, knowing that the boy must have gone into the backyard after he was sent to bed. It was clear he hadn't slept and there was no other explanation for the dirt. "Think carefully, you know how I feel about lying," Snape added, with a dangerous glint in his eyes and an edge to his voice.
Harry considered this for a moment. He knew Snape would know he was lying if he denied it completely, so he figured he could tell a partial truth and see if he could get away with a little emotional manipulation. He put down his fork and looked up at Snape with a really contrite look on his face. "I'm really sorry, Professor, I couldn't sleep last night and I was feeling really anxious. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I really needed some fresh air, but I didn't want to wake you up. Please don't be mad at me."
He attempted to tear up a little and scrunched his face up as though he were holding back tears. He was going to lay it on thick, then hopefully the man wouldn't punish him. "I'm really really sorry."
Although he wasn't thrilled that Harry had gone outside in the middle of the night, he felt his heart physically ache thinking about Harry being awake and anxious alone in the night. "Is that why you're so tired this morning?"
Harry nodded his head, "Yeah, I just kept having bad dreams and then I got upset. I tried to read and relax my mind but I couldn't." He was exaggerating and definitely putting on some theatrics, but it wasn't a complete lie.
Snape's face softened and reached his hand out and patted Harry's shoulder, trying to calm him. "It's OK, don't get upset. I'm not angry. If that ever happens again, I want you to come get me. I don't want you wandering around outside in the middle of the night though, it's not safe."
"I won't. I just stepped out for a minute to get some air." Harry's lie was so convincing, he almost believed it himself. He could see the concern on Snape's face and he felt a pang of guilt tighten in his stomach.
"Right, then. We'll make sure we do more relaxation before bed tonight. And after breakfast I want you to go back to bed and take a nap. I seriously doubt you'll be able to focus on your schoolwork if you didn't sleep at all last night."
Snape felt bad that he had given Harry a hard time this morning. He knew he had a lot of trauma in his past, and he wanted Harry to trust him enough to come to him if he was having problems. He didn't want him to ever worry he'd be mad if he was feeling anxious or afraid.
"Will you read to me before bed? That helps relax me too," Harry added, figuring he might as well milk it for all he could while he had the chance.
"Yes, I think that can be arranged," Snape said as he poured himself some more tea.
Harry wanted to smile but he forced himself to keep up his little Oliver Twist sad orphan act as he put some jam on a piece of toast and took a bite. That had gone better than expected. Not only was he not in trouble, but now Snape felt bad for him and he was going to get to go back to bed and he'd secured himself a bedtime reading.
After he finished breakfast, he stood up to take the dishes but Snape put his hand out. "Leave it, Potter, I'll take care of this today. Go back to bed and get some rest."
"Thank you," Harry said, as he made his way back to his room. As he changed back into his pajamas, he really started to feel bad. Snape had been so nice to him, and he'd lied right to his face. He climbed into bed and laid down. He could feel a growing knot in his stomach as the guilt washed over him, but his exhaustion won out and soon he was back asleep.
Author's End Notes:
Please, please review! What do you think of our happy little family? Snape is trying so hard, but Harry is learning how to manipulate him, oh noes.
Is there anything you want to see Harry and Snape get up to or do while they're on their little country get-away? Feel free to make suggestions or requests!
On a personal level, this story has been a huge part of keeping me going. I went through a major loss a few months ago, and this week has been especially tough for me with grief. Writing this fic and knowing that there are wonderful people out there reading and enjoying it has given me something positive to focus on and look forward to, even in my darkest moments of grief. I know these are difficult times for so many people. Just know that I appreciate every single person who reads this and comments and favorites or just enjoys anonymously (I see you on the page views, lol!). It might seem like a small thing, but you all mean a lot to me. THANK YOU for being on this journey with me.