Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
Never had the task of inhaling and exhaling seemed so unnatural. How had she managed to breathe for the last 19 years with so little thought or effort?
The girls all stood a few feet away, trying to give her enough space.
After another long deep breath, the pounding in her ears became marginally slower and the tightness in her shoulders eased a little.
Pull yourself together. You can do this.
She smoothed out the short, yet sophisticated, sheath dress Rei had lent her for the evening and checked her hair for the umpteenth time.
Finally, she met her friend's collective worried gaze and gave a small nod.
There was a long line of people waiting to get into the brightly lit Shadai Gallery. Usagi cringed as she noticed the large poster of Mamoru, displayed prominently near the entrance.
"There are a lot of people here for a small university exhibition," Makoto said.
Nobody commented on the fact that the vast majority of the people in line were women.
"Yeah, well most of them are probably here because…" Minako began.
Before she could finish her thought, Rei elbowed her in the side.
"...they are big photography fans?" Rei finished for her.
Minako silently glared at Rei.
Clearly they were all trying to not remind Usagi how widely the promotion had spread on social media. In the four days since the poster had gone live, it had received over 12,000 likes and became a trending topic on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
Hence the large number of female attendees now waiting to get into the building, Usagi thought bitterly.
When they finally made it into the gallery, it was jarring to see just how packed it was. Signs directed them towards the second level for the September Exhibition and Usagi felt her stomach tighten more and more with each stair she climbed.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
"You doing okay?" Makoto whispered from her right.
Usagi nodded.
It's not like my entire future is about to be decided or anything
The second floor was one large airy open-space that had been outfitted with white wall partitions for the many student exhibitions. On any other day, it could have been considered a clinical sort of place, but the building's large tinted windows allowed the setting sun to cast a warm orange glow over the room and make it appear almost inviting.
"Wow, it really is busy!" Ami exclaimed, eyeing the many people circulating throughout the room.
Usagi's eyes eagerly scanned the photographs around her. She noted several collections were of the typical quiet street scenes, similar to those she had nearly submitted. However, there was also a collection of stunning black and white portraits, a chill-inducing study of abandoned metro tunnels and a more abstract submission of photographs where the viewer wasn't quite sure what they were seeing at first glance.
At the far end of the gallery, a large group of people were gathered. A loud murmur of the crowd's chatter echoed throughout the exhibition hall and Usagi observed several people standing on their tip-toes with their phones held high, in an effort to get a photo of whatever they were looking at.
She bit her lip in annoyance. She never understood the concept of taking pictures of pictures, especially in exhibitions or museums.
"What do you think is over there?" Minako asked.
Usagi shrugged. "It's probably some of the upperclassmen exhibitions."
"I wonder where yours is!" Makoto said excitedly.
No sooner had the words come out of Makoto's mouth that the girls came upon a very familiar set of photos.
Eight framed images in color as well as black and white were displayed in two rows of four against a stark white partition. A placard underneath the collection read, "The Heatwave by Tsukino Usagi" in neat black printed letters.
There they were, out there for the world to see — lips and skin, hidden kisses and secret smiles in doorways, on street corners, and even in front of conbinis as well as the metro.
The true force of the heatwave revealed.
"Wow…" Rei said, her eyes transfixed on the photograph of a couple in an almost kiss.
"I know we've seen them already but..." Makoto started.
"...they are really hot," Minako finished.
"Clever," Rei said with a cheeky grin.
Ami leaned her head a little towards Usagi, nudging her softly as she studied Usagi's work. "I'm glad you turned these in. I know you weren't comfortable with the idea, but they really are something."
Usagi swallowed hard, still not sure if it was the right decision.
"I didn't have anything else to submit," she said honestly. "I wasn't able to get any other photos near as good as these."
...even if they are of horny teenagers and college students.
"I'm confused," Rei said. "Where's the picture of Chiba?"
Usagi didn't get the chance to respond.
"Ms. Tsukino!"
A petite woman with salt and pepper hair was striding her way.
Usagi felt her blood run cold.
The cheerful looking woman was three paces ahead of a tall lanky man of about 70, who was trailing her with a clipboard and a sour expression.
"Sensei Yamamoto," Usagi greeted, bowing low.
She took it as a sign of encouragement that the professor was smiling rather than scowling or looking horrifically disappointed.
Usagi let out a small breath.
Time to face my future.
"I'm so glad to see you again!" Sensei Yamamoto said, pushing her round glasses up her nose. "This has been an incredible turn-out, and I think we owe a great deal of that to the photograph of yours…"
"Yes, Sensei, I wanted to ask…"
"I know some were surprised by our choice of a...less traditional photo for the promo," she said at rapid-pace. "Although, I think the ticket sales speak for themselves!"
Usagi could practically hear the words "missed financial opportunity" running through Minako's mind on repeat.
Sensei Yamamoto suddenly seemed to remember the man standing next to her.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! Allow me to introduce Ishikawa Taro," Sensei Yamamoto said politely. "He is the professor in charge of grading all the first year submissions."
The older man had a slightly pinched face, close cropped hair, and a precise manner about him. Usagi very much got the impression that this was not a teacher who would tolerate even a second of tardiness in his classes.
"Professor Ishikawa, this is Tsukino Usagi."
Usagi bowed automatically.
Sensei Ishikawa barely spared her a glance before jotting down some notes on his clipboard.
"I hope your subject-matter extends past half-naked men and lustful couples, Ms. Tsukino," said Sensei Ishikawa, his voice deep and monotone.
He was obviously one of the individuals unimpressed by her picture of Mamoru being used in the promotions.
"I...it does, Sir."
"Good," Sensei Ishikawa considered her for a moment before speaking. "While I find the topic of your assignment unorthodox — I have to admit that you have captured something here that is quite...unique."
Is that bad or good?
Sensei Ishikawa strolled closer to the display of photos, completely disregarding the people gathered around the exhibit.
"The photo of the couple running to the love hotel and the...um..." he paused, clearly unsure of how to refer to the image of the woman straddling the man against the building door, "...this one...could have been sharper." Sensei Ishikawa made a note in his clipboard. "I would recommend experimenting more with your camera focus."
Usagi looked nervously towards her friends, who were standing a polite distance away.
"Most of these were taken in the dark, and it's obvious you were working without a flash," Sensei Ishikawa continued.
Usagi found herself nodding along, like some deranged bobble head.
"That's very impressive and says a great deal about your technical ability. The silhouettes they create and the shading of light and dark is a testament to your skill."
Did he just...compliment my work?!
"Thank you, Sensei."
Usagi bowed. She was almost scared to breathe, fearful one false move would derail this conversation, which was beginning to sound like praise from a teacher.
But she had to ask...
"Does that mean...can I ask what grade I received?"
Sensei Ishikawa raised an eyebrow.
"The grades will be posted early next week."
He turned back to Sensei Yamamoto and gave a curt nod, before walking to the next exhibit to cast his critical eye over another student's work.
Sensei Yamamoto smiled excitedly at Usagi.
"I don't mind telling you that the staff were all very impressed with The Heatwave collection..."
Usagi felt an enormous sense of relief at the Department Head's words. If the staff liked her work, then she assumed she was at least guaranteed a passing grade. Plus, Sensei Ishikawa mainly said approving, if not nice, things about her work.
"...not to mention, I can't remember the last time we had a first-year student place as a finalist in our Fall Photography Competition. The work you have here is incredible and your other collection is so different and so very personal…"
Finalist?! In the Fall Photography Competition?
Usagi must have not heard that right.
"I'm so sorry, Sensei Yamamoto," Usagi interrupted. "Did you say that I'm a finalist in the Fall Photography Competition?"
The older woman looked at her in surprise.
"You didn't get the email?"
Usagi shook her head.
"Oh my goodness! My sincere apologies!"
Usagi could see her friends moving closer. It was apparent they had heard what Usagi had, too.
"Yes! I'm very pleased to say that you are a finalist in this year's photography competition," Sensei Yamamoto gestured towards the side of the room where the large crowd was still congregating. "I daresay your work has been a big draw…"
Minako, Ami, Rei, and Makoto broke into a near run towards the side of the room Sensei Yamamoto had pointed to.
Usagi glanced back at Sensei Yamamoto, overwhelmed with surprise and gratitude.
"Th..thank you, Sensei," Usagi whispered. "For everything."
Sensei Yamamoto smiled at her, knowingly.
"I look forward to seeing you next week for the start of term, Ms. Tsukino."
Usagi waited for Sensei Yamamoto to step out of sight before racing towards where her friends had headed. She spotted the girls near the front of the crowd and politely maneuvered her way through the onlookers to join them. And that was when she saw them…
Fifteen pairs of the same midnight blue eyes stared down at her from various angles and positions along the large gallery wall.
The sadness she had briefly forgotten following the strong reviews on her assignment, pushed its way back to the surface and enveloped her like a straight jacket.
The photographs of Mamoru in different displays of emotion or reaction were encased in sleek black and grey frames. Many of the photos she had found in the blue shoebox had made their way into the exhibit, and so had more recent photographs.
One of her favorites was an image from six months ago; Mamoru was doubled over laughing at a prank Motoki had pulled on Unazuki. For a guy who always smirked instead of smiled and chuckled rather than laughed — it was rare to ever see his perfect white teeth. But, here they were on full display as he howled with abandon. The crinkles around his eyes were evidence of unchecked expression, and it made him appear youthful and less serious.
Another shot from last year showed Mamoru looking utterly relieved after having located a library book he was convinced he had left on the train. She had captured him wide-eyed and holding the retrieved book in his hands. His usually upright figure was slouched against a wall and his mouth in a small o as he let out a huge sigh.
The most recent image of him was one she had taken right before summer started. It was different in that it was the only photograph she had captured through a window. He seemed deep in thought, his eyes unblinking and his forehead creased in a deep frown. Usagi had spotted him across the street on her way home one afternoon and had been so struck by his downtrodden pose that she hadn't been able to resist photographing it.
And there at the very center of the collection, larger than the rest of the images, was the milkshake photo. It was the picture that had started and ended her heatwave saga — the shot that pierced her with both guilt and intrigue.
Every picture was framed in a way that highlighted the small shifts in his features when he smiled, frowned, furrowed his brow, or even pursed his lips. All the nuance, all the subtleties, all the layers that made up Mamoru were there for the world to see.
The project had been a literal labor of love. After realizing her feelings for the man she had cursed for years, Usagi had stayed up all night locating every photo she had ever taken of Mamoru to finally see what she had been recording all these years. It had been almost masochistic — seeking out further proof of her feelings towards him when it didn't matter anymore.
Yet, with every photo she rediscovered, it felt as though she was finding another piece of him. A slow uncovering of the man who had always appeared untouchable and mysterious to her was made tangible and knowable through her accumulated captured memories. Every new image she found, she saw through new eyes, and it had been salt in the wound.
It had also driven something in her.
All those feelings, all those words she couldn't say to him now or ever, were poured into a project that dragged into the early hours of the morning. Her search for Mamoru, her need to somehow be closer, had resulted in her choosing 15 photos of him and editing them so that each shot illustrated another side, a small bit of him that only she had caught. It was probably why she had also titled the collection Right in front of me, which was written on a large placard next to her name under the photos.
There hadn't been any thought or plan behind it, but when 4 a.m. rolled around, she found herself printing the photos and placing them in her submission envelope for the Fall Photography Competition. Usagi's emotionally exhausted brain reasoned that this was her one way of achieving closure for something that would never exist. She could put these feelings somewhere. It was her way of marking their present and past, of having it be known in the world that this happened, and that she loved Chiba Mamoru.
"Usagi?"
Usagi snapped out of her reverie and looked up at Makoto.
She could feel the tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over onto her cheeks. Usagi moved out of the crowd and towards the side of the exhibit. Her friends followed.
"Now you've seen it," she sniffed.
She tried to blink her tears away, her focus on the large crowd.
"Usagi, it's incredible," Ami said in a half-whisper. "What you have created...it's like...it would be impossible for someone to see these photos and not know you just a little bit."
"Ami's right," Rei nodded. "You should be proud of this. Not just because of your talent, but because of how courageous it is."
"It's easy to be courageous when you don't think it's going to be selected as a finalist..." she trailed off.
Her eyes narrowed in on a familiar looking couple.
"Usagi?" Minako prodded.
"I think a few of Mamoru's classmates just showed up," she nodded towards the individuals, in question. "They were at the party with us...Teiru and I think the guy's name is...Reo?"
Four heads turned in unison towards the crowd, in a manner that was blatantly obvious.
"So?" Minako asked.
"So, on the very small chance that Mamoru didn't already know about all of this," she said gesturing to the exhibit in front of her, "he definitely will now."
"He already knows..." Makoto said gloomily.
"What?!" Usagi, Minako, Ami, and Rei all said in unison.
Despite being the tallest one in the group, Makoto looked a little intimidated as she glanced down at her four friends.
"I guess classes started back up this week for second and third years at Keio." Makoto said reluctantly. "...and let's just say Mamoru encountered his fair share of...responses...when he walked into his first lab."
"Responses?" Minako prodded.
Makoto sighed, "Wolf whistling, teasing, and...propositioning."
"Oh my god."
Usagi couldn't think of a worse way for him to find out, assuming that he didn't know about it before showing up to class. The situation was so utterly hopeless and beyond repair that it was almost laughable. Everything that could possibly go wrong had gone wrong.
She went numb all over, and maybe that was a small blessing since Usagi got the distinct impression Sensei Ishikawa would turn his nose up at a student having a nervous breakdown in the middle of an exhibition.
"How did you hear about this?" Rei demanded.
At that, Makoto's arms folded in front of her, and she eyed the floor, intently.
"Motoki told me about it, last night."
"I didn't see you at the Crown last night..." Ami said, confused. "Or 'Toki for that matter..."
Usagi saw a shy smile appear on Makoto's face, a dusting of red on her cheeks.
"I didn't say we were at the Crown."
There was a long pause as the meaning of her words sunk in. Then an instantaneous explosion of questions and exclamations erupted from Minako, Rei, and Ami.
"Wait...you and Motoki?!" Rei asked incredulously. "As in..."
"YOU BAGGED MOTOKI?!" Minako practically yelled.
Usagi stood stone-still and Makoto's eyes met hers. There was a look of understanding in them.
At least this summer worked out for someone.
"Yes!" Makoto said in a firm whisper, seeing they were beginning to draw attention from other attendees.
"We're taking things slow" Makoto blushed. "But yes, we're...dating."
The three girls all looked a bit flummoxed. Usagi knew that it would take some time to get used to the idea of Makoto and Motoki as a couple, but she had no doubt that the adjustment period would be brief.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Sensei Yamamoto's voice was heard over the general hum of the chatter in the gallery. "The winner of the Fall Photography Competition will be announced in five minutes. Please make your way to the far wall where all of our finalists collections are on display."
The girls all looked at each other, unsure exactly what to do next. Thankfully, Minako always found the right thing to break the tension.
"All this drama and suspense..." she grinned. "I'm so glad I booked a later flight!"
Usagi's Right in front of me collection ended up taking second place in the competition. First place went to a third year student whose submission centered around the world of pachinko parlors. While several older students had confided in her that it was likely "department politics," since it was a big enough deal that a first year had even made it to the finalist round — Usagi was beyond thrilled. How could she not be? She had shown up half-expecting to be laughed or shamed out of the department and instead her work received an award!
It was as though a huge weight had been lifted and for the first time Usagi began to get excited about her first day as a university student.
An hour later, the crowd had begun to thin out. Minako looked down at her watch, and Usagi knew this was it.
"It's time, isn't it?"
"Yeah," her friend smiled sadly, "I have to swing by my place and pick up my suitcase, before catching the red eye."
"I'll ride the metro back with you," Rei said. "I have to pick up some stuff for my Grandpa before I head home."
The thing Usagi had dreaded for weeks was finally here. She had been petrified of how different life was going to be now that summer had ended. Yet, if the last few days had taught her anything, it was that some things would also never change. No matter the distance, the romantic entanglements, the stress of careers or school — she and her friends would always be there for each other.
Usagi threw her arms around Minako and held her tight.
"Go knock the socks off the modeling world."
Minako laughed, "I may need a bit longer than four weeks to accomplish that."
"Now you're humble?" Rei said dryly.
Everyone laughed and soon they were all piling onto Minako for a giant group hug.
"Thanks again for letting me stay at your place."
"Well if by chance you decide to rebound off Chiba, you know where the condoms are and just change the sheets!"
Usagi smacked her shoulder.
Minako giggled. "I'll be back in four weeks, and once Rei returns from India…"
"Nepal…" Rei corrected.
"And New Zealand…"
"Australia," Rei said impatiently.
"...then we will all be back together!"
Makoto smiled, "In that case, we'll see you later, Minako!"
See you later.
Usagi liked that. No good-byes, only see you laters.
"Later, Minako!"
With Rei pulling her away, Minako waved one last time. "See you later, everyone!"
Minako and Rei's departure marked the beginning of the end of the evening. Only half an hour later, it was time for Makoto to take her leave. The taller girl blushed adorably as she explained that her and Motoki had made plans to meet up for a late drink.
Ami and Usagi giggled when they watched her practically bounce out of the gallery hall in excitement.
Not long after that, Ami began wringing her hands in a way that Usagi recognized as "study anxiety." Ever the diligent student, Ami always began nervously fidgeting whenever she had school work she felt was being neglected.
"You don't have to stick around for my sake. If you have things you need to do, you should take off."
Ami looked at her with a mix of guilt and pleading.
"Are you sure?" her friend asked. "It's not a big deal for me to stay. I can do my biochemistry review tomorrow."
Usagi was touched. For Ami to offer to push her studies off for even an hour was no small thing.
"I'm sure," she said. "Just because I have to stay at this thing until closing, doesn't mean you have to."
Ami let out a relieved sigh.
"Breakfast on Saturday? We can go over any first day school supplies you may need and pick up your books."
Usagi felt her eyebrows shoot up her forehead.
"Books?! I haven't bought my books!"
Ami laughed, "Don't worry, we will sort that out on the weekend."
At least she still had Ami to help her navigate the academic waters of university.
Ami smiled and wrapped her arms around Usagi in a warm hug.
"I'll see you Saturday!"
Usagi watched Ami walk down the street towards the metro station. The girl genius turned and gave her a wave as she walked past the Shadai Gallery, her vivid blue hair becoming smaller and smaller until it disappeared around a corner.
She let out a sigh. Now it was just her.
Usagi breathed deeply and took a long look at her surroundings.
A few people were huddled together about ten feet from her, clinking glasses and shaking hands. Several small groups of students were huddled around an exhibit, chatting about different camera techniques.
My future coeds, no doubt.
It was a strange thought.
I have coeds...I'm a university student.
The realization filled Usagi with exhilaration. Somewhere in the evening, whether it was Sensei Yamamoto's kind words or the award for her collection, all her doubts about belonging at university washed away. For the first time, she didn't feel like an imposter or someone undeserving of getting into Tokyo Poly.
She was finally ready to face her future head-on.
I'm going to Tokyo Polytechnic University to study photography.
With that in mind, Usagi grabbed a champagne flute off one of the high tables.
Soon, she was exchanging introductions with two second year-students who were happy to share which cafes were the best to frequent near the university...
"Aside from the Lawson just off campus, there is a great French bakery called Boulangerie Lebois that makes excellent sandwiches." A woman named Yui, who was wearing some impressive chunky earrings, said. "Counterpart Coffee is worth checking out too!"
...and what professors were the toughest graders.
"Ishikawa can definitely be a stickler for details in assignments," Kyo, a guy with flaming red hair, informed her. "Just be sure to reference the assigned reading as much as possible!"
After a few minutes, three first-year students, who had recently moved to Tokyo for the program, also joined the conversation.
The discussion immediately shifted to Usagi and the two second-years sharing the best places to go in Tokyo, which quickly escalated into a debate over which neighborhood was the best live in. Usagi, of course fought a valiant battle for Azabu-Juban and Yui was adamant that Shimokitazawa was "hands down" the best place in Tokyo. Kyo, while not as energetic as Usagi and Yui, persisted that Yanaka was "the neighborhood in Tokyo" and everywhere else paled in comparison.
Before she knew it, an hour had ticked by and the crowds at the gallery began to dwindle down. Usagi was just starting to get into a discussion about film development techniques when she saw a tall and very familiar figure enter the gallery.
The words being spoken around her faded out. All the air left her lungs, her peripheral vision blurred, and her stomach churned so painfully she thought she might be sick.
Mamoru.
Her eyes ran over his frame, greedily taking him in as though it had been months — rather than days — since she had last seen him. He looked just as perfect as ever. It was only expected that he would so effortlessly fit into a more formally dressed crowd, even in his casual dark blue button-up and black jeans. The only thing that was out of place was the grey baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes.
Mamoru's head slowly turned around the room, his eyes scanning. Without a second thought, Usagi threw herself behind one of the exhibits, likely earning a few odd looks from the people she had been in mid-conversation with.
The air returned to her chest and she was gasping to breathe, trying to shake off the panic that was quickly overtaking her. After a long minute, she dared to peek around the exhibit.
Mamoru was now moving, with purpose, across the gallery. From this angle she could easily see the clench of his jaw, the way his mouth was pressed into a firm line...she knew that grimace anywhere. He was furious.
What did she expect? Makoto had confirmed that Mamoru knew about the exhibit and his unintentional role in it. Why wouldn't he show up? If nothing else then to scream at her for making him Keio University's Resident Pin-Up and an unwilling exhibitionist across Tokyo.
She audibly gulped when he stopped in front of The Heatwave collection. After all, hadn't he selected these exact photos as her best work, the night they...
Stop. I can't think about that right now.
But Mamoru only glanced over her photos before continuing his search around the gallery.
What is he looking for?
Then he appeared to find it. Usagi watched in fear as Mamoru's attention shifted towards the back wall where the Fall Photography Competition exhibits hung.
Please, no! Don't go over there. He's going to see...and then he'll know that...
Usagi felt her eyes squinch close, torturing herself once again while she ran through the catastrophic order of events that had likely shaped Mamoru's current opinion of her.
First, they sleep together (much to his regret), she submits her assignment and unwillingly puts him forward as the literal 'poster boy' for the event, said poster becomes one of the most shared images across the city, and now he was here looking at her competition submission which showcases to the world how she's been mad about him for years.
I probably look like some obsessed stalker!
There was never a chance she was going to emerge from this fiasco with even a small bit of dignity intact.
Her heart hammered in her chest while she watched his slow progress towards the large collection of photos.
Usagi's body felt like lead as she discreetly moved closer towards that side of the gallery, ducking behind different exhibits as she went.
She registered how his pace slowed the closer he got to the collection. The soft pad of his black sneakers echoed lightly with every foot fall.
Usagi wanted to go to him and explain that she wasn't some silly girl with a dumb crush on him; that the incident with the milkshake photo ending up online had been a mistake and that she never intended for all of this to happen. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was and how she would give anything to go back to being what they were — Odango Atama and Mamoru Baka. She knew he would never care for her in the same way and she could live with that as long as they could just hit pause and go on like the last six weeks never happened. That way she could keep him in some small way.
But, that was impossible.
Mamoru's feet finally stopped behind two women who were admiring the collection. Neither of them noticed his approach.
Never in her life had Usagi concentrated on something so carefully as she did Mamoru's facial expressions as he took in the images. She watched the tension fully disappear from his neck and his shoulders. His hands even relaxed at his sides but beyond that he was, as ever, indecipherable.
At this distance he was only about twenty feet away and she allowed herself to really drink him in. The exposed skin of his forearms where his sleeves were rolled up, the wrinkles in the back of his shirt from likely sitting in lectures all day, and the shape of his perfectly postured body.
The sound of the two women interrupted her thoughts.
"...look at the way he's staring into the camera, Taki!" the woman exclaimed loudly, gesturing to the large framed milkshake photo. "He looks like he's about ready to strangle the photographer!"
Usagi winced, thinking how Mamoru would probably agree with the woman's assessment.
"Please! Are we even looking at the same picture?" the other woman replied. "That's not anger! The guy looks like he wants the photographer to lick the ice cream clean off him! He's not even wearing a shirt for crying out loud!"
Someone please do me a favor and shoot me now.
Usagi heard Mamoru mumble something, catching the low decibels of his deep voice rather than any actual words.
The two women jumped as they looked up at him in mortified surprise. Then very quickly, they scuttled away from the collection — throwing embarrassed glances back at Mamoru as they went. Mamoru appeared completely undaunted by the exchange.
What did he say to them?!
Usagi watched with some perverse fascination as he slowly removed the baseball cap and craned his neck to take in each picture.
Her gaze latched onto his face and she could see every twitch of his gorgeous mouth, the softness of his hair intermixing with his long eyelashes, and the curve of his nose. But as close as she dared to get, he still gave nothing away.
Then...his features turned. His jaw became set and his eyebrows furrowed down. He stood up even straighter, and without another look around the gallery, he placed the baseball cap over his messy hair. Usagi watched him turn and stride purposely towards the exit, his pace faster and sharper than it had been when he had walked in.
She fought the impulse to go after him, to make him stay even if it was just to be in the same room as him for a little while longer.
Instead, her feet inched their way to an empty corridor. Once she was out of sight, her shaking knees gave out and she crumpled against the wall. Her bones and muscles felt soft as butter and she was content to just stay there — broken and exhausted.
Usagi didn't move until she heard the overhead announcement that the gallery would be closing in five minutes. It felt like moving bricks to pick herself up off the floor, but somehow she managed.
She stepped into the hot night and began the short walk to the Oedo Line. The darkened sky and heavy air provided good cover for the tears cascading down her cheeks.
The years of teasing and bickering. The long looks, the flirting, the passionate arguments, the remnants of that one night...
It was all inconsequential now. It was over, it was all over.
Good-bye Mamoru.
"High winds and heavy rain are expected for the rest of the evening and until the early hours of tomorrow morning. Tokyo residents are advised to stay indoors..."
Usagi turned the radio off.
Her shiny new textbooks were stacked in one corner of Minako's small dining table and various handwritten notes were spread in front of her in total disarray.
She was trying, with great frustration, to review the notes she had taken during her History of Photography class. With each half-finished sentence or one-worded line, she became more convinced that she would need to start recording her lectures via her phone. Apparently, she was unable to write as fast as Sensei Ishikawa talked.
Once she was finished deciphering her notes, she still had a two-page assignment to complete. Then there was the reading she needed to do; two chapters for Visual Literacy and one for Principles of Photography. All needed to be finished by Monday.
Usagi let out a resigned sigh and stretched her arms high above her head.
How is there so much to do already? It's only the first week of school.
Getting into university had not cured her dislike of academia; she didn't think she would ever come to enjoy studying for exams or writing essays. However, Usagi had been pleasantly surprised to find that she actually liked sitting through her lectures and participating in class discussions. She was also meeting a lot of new people through her course and the university provided several dark rooms as well as a photography lab exclusively for students in the arts.
Overall, the only major downside was the amount of school work she was expected to keep up with outside of class.
...especially on a Friday night.
The last five days had been a whirlwind of unfamiliar classrooms, new faces and a lot of stress as she tried to not be late to any of her lectures and tutorials. It had been a marathon of a week that hadn't left her with much time to think about anything else...like Mamoru and his very noticeable absence from her life. In that way, her foray into being a full-fledged university student had been beneficial.
Yet, even though school had been a great distraction, there were the inevitable moments when Usagi couldn't help but be reminded of him. The sight of a milkshake would bring back the memory of their fight in the back room of the Crown. Whenever she heard the roar of a motorcycle engine, her head would immediately turn to see if it was Mamoru riding down the street. And when some of her classmates invited her to a show at Moon Romantic, she found herself politely declining — knowing it would be too painful.
The feeling of fur brushing up against her skin snapped Usagi out of her thoughts. She peered under the desk to see Artemis purring up against her leg.
"What is it, Artemis?" she said, reaching down to pet the ghost-white cat.
That was when she heard it; the sound of heavy rain crashing onto the pavement outside.
Usagi rushed to pull the balcony door closed and hastily shut the windows.
"They weren't kidding about the rain and wind," Usagi said aloud. "It looks like the storm is pretty much here."
As if on queue, a clap of thunder rang out into the night and echoed throughout the apartment. Usagi's arms shot out and grasped Artemis tight to her chest.
The cat let out a loud meow and started writhing around in her arms.
Usagi let out a breath. She always got jumpy during storms.
It's just thunder.
Artemis finally managed to escape her grip and bolted towards Minako's bedroom.
"Scaredy cat."
Just as Usagi was about to put the kettle on, another loud noise echoed across the apartment. But this time, it wasn't thunder, but what sounded like...someone pounding on the door.
She froze, the small hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.
Calm down. You're just freaked out because of the storm.
At least she had locked the door.
A second knock came, even more demanding than the last.
"Who is it?" she called out, hearing the quiver in her own voice.
Another clap of thunder hit, drowning out the muffled voice on the other side of the door. The rain was coming down in sheets and she could hear it hitting the glass of the windows.
"Just a second!"
Maybe it was a worried neighbor, or Ami or Makoto dropping by to check in on her.
Ami or Makoto would try calling or texting first…
Usagi slowly walked towards the door, already regretting watching that horror movie with Minako a few weeks back.
She shook her head, trying to not get overly anxious.
Taking a deep breath, she undid the latch, slowly twisted the knob and opened the door.
Her eyes widened.
There stood Mamoru, breathing heavily and huddled against the door frame.
"M...Mamoru."
Usagi stared up at him, not quite believing he was there.
His inky black hair, which looked half-wet, was sticking out at all angles and his motorcycle helmet dangled by the straps in his hand. He towered over her, his eyes wide and intense.
Behind him, a flash of lighting sparked across the sky and brought her out of her daze. She opened the door wider, letting him inside.
Usagi noted that his clothes were soaked through; his motorcycle jacket, black t-shirt, and jeans were plastered to his frame like a second skin.
His eyes met hers, and she realized her mouth had gone dry.
"What are you doing here?"
Mamoru glanced uncertainly around the apartment, as though he wasn't quite sure if he should be there.
Finally, his hand reached into his back-pocket and took out his phone.
Of course, he's finally going to confront me about the photo.
She had known this conversation was likely to happen at some point. She just hadn't thought it would be alone at Minako's apartment in the middle of a storm.
However, when he held up the device, it didn't show the exhibition poster like she had anticipated. Instead, the weather app was displayed across his screen — the current outside temperature in large bright numbers.
That was not what she had been expecting.
"It's 16 degrees outside."
What the…?
Usagi looked up at him in total bewilderment. Had she fallen asleep while studying? Was this some sort of strange dream?
Mamoru looked at her as though she was the one who was missing something.
"The heatwave has officially broken."
Her mind was still drawing a complete blank.
"Is everyone in the neighborhood getting a door-to-door weather report from you or am I just special?"
While her feelings for Mamoru had certainly changed in recent weeks, their way of communicating had not.
Mamoru's blue eyes hardened and Usagi saw his mouth twitch. She could see he was biting back what was likely a smart-ass response.
"I just didn't want there to be any confusion over my motives," he said, shoving the phone back in his pocket.
Now she was really confused.
"Your motives?"
Mamoru ran a frustrated hand over his face and huffed out a long breath.
"Are you free for dinner this week?"
Usagi felt herself splutter.
She was definitely dreaming.
"What?!"
Mamoru looked like he was on the brink of tearing his hair out.
"The heatwave has broken and I'm asking if you're free for dinner this week!"
That was when realization dawned on her.
"...the heatwave makes people do things they normally wouldn't do."
Those had been her words that fateful morning, before she realized...everything. It had also been the same morning he had…
"Is this some sort of joke?"
She knew he would be upset about the photo being circulated, but he had also seen her exhibit; she knew that he now understood how she felt about him. If this was his way of seeking revenge — it was a spiteful way to go about it.
All impatience fell away from Mamoru, only to be replaced by shock.
"Excuse me?"
"I understand if you're angry with me, but this is not funny!" she said, louder.
Now it was Mamoru's turn to look totally bewildered.
"Why would you think this is a joke?"
She was so furious with him and at the same time, ready to burst into tears. After all the heartache and the exhaustion over knowing she would never have him, he just shows up and does this?
"I get that our entire relationship consists of us teasing one another and arguing with each other, but this is cruel — even for you."
He took a step towards her.
"Why can't you believe I want to have dinner with you..." he asked carefully. "After we..."
"After we slept together?" she interrupted him, her voice sharp as a knife. "And you apologized for it?"
He recoiled.
"You made it crystal clear how much you regretted sleeping with me," she said, moving further into the living room.
Mamoru's eyes were as wide as saucers, and Usagi could have sworn he looked...mortified.
"I regretted the way it happened!"
He followed her out of the genkan, not even stopping to take off his wet shoes.
"I brought you home when you were upset and half out of your mind over your assignment — then pushed you into bed TWO MINUTES after you thought I had someone else coming over!" He stepped closer towards her. "So when we..." he trailed off, his gaze roaming over her.
Usagi quickly became self-conscious of the skimpy tank top and shorts she was wearing.
He swallowed hard, before pulling his eyes away from her.
"I just felt like I took advantage of you."
An enormous boom erupted outside, reverberating throughout the apartment and causing Artemis to jolt from the bedroom, like a speeding bullet, to the inside of the coat closet.
But Usagi didn't notice.
In just a few sentences, Mamoru had managed to dispel the one "fact" she had been clinging to that confirmed he would never care about her. The apology she would replay night after night when laying in bed, wishing she could stop thinking about his perfect messy black hair or his perfect half-smile...was all untrue?
Her body slouched heavily against the wall, feeling boneless.
Mamoru may not have regretted sleeping with her, but the knowledge that all her misery had been for nothing, that all the tears and heartache had been unnecessary, made her lash out.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT?!"
His emotions appeared to mirror her own. The look of bitterness over the situation was unmistakable on his face.
"I TRIED!" Mamoru yelled over the storm outside. "But then you decided the only reason we slept together was because of the heatwave!"
Mamoru titled his head back towards the ceiling, obviously trying to be less angry.
"I left it alone after that." he added, hoarsely.
Usagi walked to Minako's linen closet on stilted legs, willed a deep breath in and out to calm her wildly beating heart, and just tried to take a moment. She dug her fingers into an orange towel, focusing on the feel of the soft cotton fibers under her fingertips.
When she felt she could, she turned back around.
"What changed?" she asked, holding the towel out.
Mamoru slowly peeled off his motorcycle jacket which looked like it had been thrown into a lake.
Underneath the drowned jacket, his wet t-shirt clung to his chest; the divots and hollows of well-formed muscles were visible, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Only Usagi didn't need to imagine, she knew all too well what was under the layers of wet cotton and denim.
Her cheeks burned when he finally took the towel.
"My phone started blowing up one morning. I was getting non-stop calls and text messages from friends, classmates, modeling agencies, newspapers, and random strangers that had somehow gotten my phone number…"
He paused while he ran the dry towel over his face and neck.
"...all because there was a half-naked photo of me circulating online for a small university photo exhibition," he said looking pointedly at her.
Usagi gawked at him.
"I can explain that..."
"So I showed up at the exhibit..." Mamoru continued, cutting her off, "...wanting to see what else the great Odango Atama had submitted for her photo assignment."
Usagi felt her insides twist in a full-body cringe. As if she needed reminding that he had seen essentially, a very public confession of her feelings towards him.
He was so close, she could see him taking in every freckle on her skin, every hair out of place, every small stain on her faded tank top.
"And I left with the impression that maybe it hadn't been just one-night for her either."
...either.
Usagi's mind came to a screeching halt at that one little word. Her heart was beating so loud, she was sure he would be able to hear it over the raging storm. She tried to open her mouth or move her tongue, anything at attempting actual speech — yet she was unable to do either. She was afraid one small word would chase away the conversation and burst the tiny bubble of hope that was forming in her chest.
When she didn't respond, Mamoru directed his eyes to the floor, his hand behind his neck.
"I figured the only thing to do was to wait until the heatwave broke and then show up at your door," he said dryly. "That way you couldn't blame it on the stupid weather."
Usagi recalled the look on Mamoru's face when he saw her exhibit, the one he had right before he left. The one she couldn't place...
That must have been when he planned to show up like this.
"Then again..." Mamoru said, wistfully. "I suppose if it wasn't the heatwave, you would have just assumed it was something else."
Usagi looked at him, alarmed.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's always an assumption with you!" he shook his head. "I must have slept with you because of the heatwave, I'm dating half of my department..." he ticked each one off on his hand as he spoke, "... I have no sexual interest in anyone, I kissed you just to prove you wrong!"
"You never exactly denied any of those things..."
"And you NEVER ASKED!"
Usagi's mouth clamped shut.
He was right.
Asking him a question would have given too much away. It would have been admitting she was interested or cared. None of that was relevant anymore. He knew exactly how she felt about him and there was no coming back from that. Things would never be the same between them.
But now there was nothing to lose.
"Alright." she said, her voice adamant. "Why did you kiss me the night of the bet?"
It was the question that epitomized all that had happened that summer. It was the one thing she had never been able to fully rationalize.
Usagi saw a look of surprise flash across Mamoru's face. He twisted the towel from around his neck, bunching it into a ball.
"You know why," he said, looking everywhere else. "I was trying to help you out so you wouldn't have to give up the Crown."
"No!"
All cards were on the table now and she was going to get an answer. She was damned if she was going to let him run away from this, now.
"You could have helped just by staying away from Natsumi," she cried out. "You didn't have to kiss me...so why did you!?"
Mamoru's blue eyes stared down at her, wide and bright. His hot breath intermingled with hers, making the space between them feel charged.
She swallowed hard, scared to hear his answer, but also desperate to know.
"Because it's the only thing I've wanted to do for the last two years, and I figured it was probably the only chance I would ever get."
Everything went still.
Usagi didn't blink or breathe. Even the thunder outside momentarily ceased. The only sound was that of the pouring rain outside.
Mamoru's eyes stayed fixed on hers, searching.
After three, four, five seconds she exhaled and everything shifted back into place.
"But you..." she started, "...you think I'm ridiculous and klutzy and..." she swallowed. "I'm just Odango Atama to you."
His face softened, a small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth and there was a glint of hope in his eyes. He was so close she could count practically every one of his unjustly long eyelashes.
"And you're far more interesting than anyone else I know because of all that," he said, gently tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "I'm crazy about you, Usagi."
There were no words, just the small push of her feet to her tip-toes as she closed the last bit of space between them and the sensation of her mouth on his impossibly soft lips. The warm taste of him drew her in and made her stomach flutter uncontrollably.
Mamoru responded immediately, his mouth parting hers and kissing her slow and deep.
This wasn't a dream, but flesh and heat.
This was real.
Her and Mamoru.
Strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Usagi failed to suppress the moan that escaped her when his tongue swept over hers. The feeling of her clothes absorbing the water from his wet ones as well as the hard muscles pressing into her was intoxicating.
She was losing herself fast to this, in a matter of seconds she knew she would be unable to think straight. And she so wanted to be lost to this...but there was still one thing that was nagging at her…
Usagi reluctantly tore herself away from Mamoru's inviting mouth.
"Two years?!"
Mamoru seemed unphased by the interruption, choosing to turn his attention to lightly tracing the shell of her ear with his lips.
"You could have..." Usagi moaned, "said something."
Her hands slipped under his sopping wet t-shirt, feeling their way over his flat stomach and the crevices his muscles created. She noted with delight how his skin grew heated while her hands pulled the garment over his head. The scent of rain was all over him and Usagi breathed him in, filling her senses.
"You're one to talk," he grunted as Usagi's fingers moved lower and slipped into the top of his jeans. "Those photos you submitted..." he groaned when her fingers began to trace the inside of his waistband, "...go further back then that."
Usagi was having a hard time focusing on her response because Mamoru was pulling her tank top over her head and the feel of his naked chest against hers was making speech arduous.
"I didn't know. I mean..." she sighed, her eyes closing at the feel of his mouth kissing along her collar-bone. "I knew, but I didn't know."
Mamoru's head pulled back, and she bit back a whine of disappointment.
His hand cupped her cheek, bringing her attention back on his face.
"Given everything..." he said, his eyes illuminated in a way she had ever seen before. "I think our timing is pretty perfect."
She smiled up at him for a moment...but just a moment. While she appreciated the sentiment, her priorities were very much elsewhere — namely on getting him out of his clothes.
Unfortunately, getting Mamoru's soaked skinny jeans off, took more effort than anticipated. Especially, since they were simultaneously trying to remove them while clumsily making their way towards Minako's bedroom.
Usagi yelped when her hip bumped hard into Minako's book shelf. Mamoru had to tear himself away from her mouth, cursing, when he stubbed his toe. Then when they finally were able to get his pants off, they nearly knocked over Minako's standing lamp.
Eventually, they managed to fall into Minako's bed; naked, slightly bruised and blissfully ignorant to the world outside.
Hours later when they both lay there — the sheets tangled around their legs, their breathing ragged and several of Minako's premium brand condom wrappers lying on the nightstand — Usagi couldn't think of anywhere else she would rather be.
The bed shifted and she felt Mamoru's fingers run lightly up her skin; drawing invisible shapes on her stomach.
"You still haven't answered my question about dinner," he whispered.
Usagi turned towards him, her eyes already struggling to stay open from the weight of exhaustion.
"I guess it depends on where you're taking me," she yawned, the light sensation of his fingertips further pulling her towards sleep.
"Oh, you're taking me to dinner."
Her eyes opened.
"What?!"
Mamoru smiled at her smugly.
"You owe me one for helping you win that bet."
Usagi's eyes widened, fully awake now.
"And while we're at dinner we can also talk about just how big you owe me for that exhibition poster."
Mamoru suddenly found himself being thwacked repeatedly with Minako's pillow.
Some things really would never change.
Authors Note:
We're finally here! There will be an epilogue (it might take a little longer, so please be patient with me!) but this is the final chapter of The Heatwave. For those that haven't seen it already, I was actually nerdy enough to create an entire mixtape for this fic (it was surprisingly great writing motivation) and posted it to my Tumblr! Also, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO CREATED HEATWAVE FANFIC ART, i'm bowled over by the gorgeous images you've created and am so touched that this story inspired your fantastic artistry!
It's so unbelievable to me that I have 1.) finished my first fanfic and 2.) that it's the size of a novel (Seriously - when someone asks what I was doing during COVID, I can point to this).
I don't think I would have had the motivation to take this from a short story to a full blown novfic without the early support of FloraOne, who truly deserves her unofficial title of Fanfic Fairy Godmother to all us authors. Flora guided me throughout this entire process and was unbelievably generous with her time, not only as my Smut Drill Sergeant, but also as a kind ear whenever I was stuck or needed to brainstorm. I'm also eternally grateful to Ninjette Twitch who was brave enough to beta for a completely unknown author. I'm so glad she did because I not only got an amazing beta, but a true friend out of the deal. Twitch's unwavering positivity helped get my cynical self through some tough writing blocks along the way! Even when she was bedridden, she never left me in doubt that she was my biggest cheerleader. Thank you both!
Lastly, a special shout out to Daikon! Thank you for not hunting me down and leaving fiery bags of poop at my door, despite how many times I told you I would end this story with Mamoru moving away brokenhearted because him and Usagi could never get over their miscommunication. You were such a good sport...AND I ENDED IT HAPPILY! SEE?! XD