Chapter Ten

Willow had persuaded Alex to go out for a run with her. Charlie and Joey had found the idea utterly hilarious. They had both noticed the change in their friend. She was so much happier, so much more confident and had so much more energy. She laughed so much more. And they were certain that Willow was a big part of that.

Out on the beach, Alex was exhausted and struggling to catch up with her very competitive girlfriend who did not take any prisoners when it came to sport. Alex did her best to keep up but Willow was definitely leading the race. Alex crashed onto the sand shortly after her, flopping onto her back and declaring that she wasn't going to move again for a year.

"Hey, you need to warm down!"

"I'm warm down here," Alex informed her.

Willow laughed and came to lie beside her. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and kissed her. She thanked her for indulging her in the run.

"I know it's probably not what you wanted to do today," she said.

"I want to do anything with you," Alex told her sincerely.

She saw Willow blush. She reached out and stroked her face. Willow leant down and kissed her again. They both sat up, side by side, looking out at the waves.

"I um… I had an interesting conversation with Charlie yesterday…" Willow ventured.

Alex froze. She knew this was coming. She knew she should have started the conversation herself yesterday but she hadn't been able to find the moment. She had chosen not to find the moment.

"What… what about?" she asked.

"She didn't really say anything," Willow said. "She just said that you didn't have the best time… in the past. I don't want to pry; it's just that it got me thinking. You're making this huge life decision because we want to stay together and there's probably a lot of stuff we don't actually know about each other. And I'm not just saying things you haven't told me but things I haven't told you. They're not things I've deliberately kept from you, just things we haven't had time to talk about yet. Does that make sense?"

Alex nodded.

"There are probably lots of things we don't know about each other yet," she agreed. "And none of it would change my mind about you, for the record."

Willow smiled gratefully and squeezed her hand.

"But yes… there's stuff I haven't told you," Alex admitted. "And I'm sorry. It's not that I've deliberately kept it from you either. Well, it is, I guess. But not because it's a secret. Not because I didn't trust you. I just…"

She chewed her lip, trying to find the right words, gazing out at the water again for a moment before turning back to Willow and taking her other hand.

"When I met you, I never thought I wanted to meet anyone again," she began. "I told you that I'd been in a relationship for ten years and that was that and then I was by myself and that's how I wanted to stay. Then you came into my life and you were so amazing, so perfect, so special. I didn't mean to lie to you. I'm sorry."

Willow listened, trying not to feel worried and trying not to let that worry show on her face.

"I just… we were so happy and I didn't want any of the darkness to taint what we had," Alex explained. "I just wanted us to stay in our bubble and just be happy. I wanted the past to stay where it belonged. I thought if I didn't talk about it then our happy relationship didn't need to be tarnished by it."

"Alex, what happened?" Willow asked.

"I told you that Amy and I split up because we wanted different things and we drifted apart," Alex said.

Willow nodded uncertainly.

"Well, that wasn't technically true," Alex said.

Willow hoped that Alex wasn't a cheater.

"Amy was… not a nice person," Alex said.

She was annoyed when it accidentally came out as a question.

"She… she bullied me," Alex explained. "Abused me. Mentally. Emotionally. For a number of years. I think the technical term is coercive control."

"Alex…" Willow said, holding her closer.

"I know," Alex said, looking down. "It's ridiculous. I'm a Doctor. I see people like that all the time. I'm supposed to help them, not be them. I'm sure you have questions. Why didn't I stop her? How could I let myself…?"

She was interrupted by Willow pulling her into firm hug.

"I would never ever ask you a question like that," Willow said. "Please don't ever feel like you've done something wrong. Whatever happened between you was down to her, not you. You need to remember that."

She felt Alex sink against her. She could feel tears fall on her shoulder. She held her a little tighter.

"I'm sorry you didn't feel you could tell me sooner, Alex," Willow said softly.

"I just didn't want to ruin anything between us," Alex whispered back.

Willow drew away so she could look into her eyes.

"Look at us," she said. "Do we look ruined?"

Alex managed a smile and shook her head.

"Look, I am in this for keeps, okay?" Willow said seriously. "And I hope you are too."

"I am," Alex assured her.

"So there must be nothing we can't share, nothing we can't talk about," Willow continued. "I am so, so sad to hear what you've been through. It breaks my heart to know that someone was so awful to you. And I will do everything I can to make sure that you always know that you are loved and you are special."

Alex lifted Willow's hand and kissed her palm.

"Thank you for hearing me," she said.

"I know it's not an easy thing to talk about," Willow said. "And I know this is the first conversation of many that we'll need to have. But I want to understand what you've been through. I want to love and support you through it all."

She rested her forehead against Alex's.

"Thank you," Alex whispered.

"I love you," Willow replied.

Joey and Charlie left Xander with Ruby in order to visit Leah. They had all been in touch regularly over the past ten years. While Charlie in particular had been reluctant to return to Summer Bay, Leah had happily visited their home on a regular basis. She had brought VJ with her to their wedding. And she had kept them abreast of much of the comings and goings of their former home.

"I'd ask how you're feeling but that's a stupid question," Charlie said.

Justin hovered in the kitchen, making them drinks. He had hardly got any conversation out of his girlfriend since she had returned to him. He wondered how her old friends would fair.

"I'm okay," Leah said.

She didn't sound okay.

"Well, it's good to see you," Joey said. "It's been too long since we last met up."

"Sorry," Leah said. "Everything has just been so busy…"

"Hey," Joey said, gently touching Leah's hand. "I'm not complaining."

Leah nodded.

"How's Xander?" she suddenly asked.

Charlie and Joey both smiled.

"He's fine," Charlie said. "We could bring him to see you if you'd like."

Leah smiled.

"I'd love to see him," she said. "I've missed him."

"How about we come by tomorrow?" Charlie suggested. "We'll bring him round?"

"I'd like that," Leah said. "He's so sweet."

Justin approached with their drinks.

"They're bringing their little boy round tomorrow," Leah told him.

"If that's okay," Charlie said.

"Of course," Justin said, sitting beside his girlfriend. "Anything to make you smile."

He looked sadly at Leah. So much had changed for her, for them. She sighed heavily.

"Do you know each other?" Leah asked.

"Sort of," Justin said. "Charlie let me help find you."

"Thank you," Leah said. "Both of you."

Charlie smiled self-consciously. Joey held her hand, knowing she was never good with praise.

"They're friends with Alex," Leah told him. "Willow and Justin used to date."

Joey raised an eyebrow.

"Oh," Charlie said. "Right."

"Willow's very special," Justin said, feeling a little nervous. "I don't know Alex very well except that she was amazing to my brother, Mason. All he ever wanted was to be a Doctor and Alex helped him get to where he wanted to go. Her faith in him meant everything."

"We were so sorry to hear that your brother died," Joey said. "Willow told us what happened. It sounds like he was a real hero and an incredible person."

Justin quickly wiped his eyes and nodded.

"He was," he said. "He was."

Leah stared ahead of her. She was too broken to access her own feelings.

"But as for Willow, Alex definitely has a good one there," he said. "She's a good person."

"Didn't she dump you for her ex and then end up with a gambling addiction?" Leah asked bluntly.

"Well, it wasn't quite like that…"

Justin shifted uncomfortably. Joey squeezed Charlie's hand hard. Charlie and Willow had only just reached an understanding. She didn't not want them to fall out now.

Charlie and Joey met Ruby, Xander, Willow and Alex on the beach. Xander let go of Ruby's hand and hurtled towards his parents. Joey scooped him up quickly before he could demand to picked up by Charlie. He was getting too heavy for her damaged shoulder, although she tried not to let it show.

"Hey, Mr," she said. "Have you been having fun with Ruby?"

He nodded emphatically and then proceeded to tell them in great detail every little thing they had done that morning. Chuckling, Ruby began laying out blankets with Alex and Willow. She lay out flat on one of them, eager to relax after her morning of babysitting.

"That all sounds exhausting!" Charlie remarked, as she, Joey and Xander joined the group.

"It was!" Ruby told her, opening one eye.

Charlie snorted and sat down.

"How was Leah?" Willow asked.

Charlie eyed her a little curiously and then answered the question.

"She's okay," she said. "As well as can be expected."

"She wants to see you tomorrow, little man," Joey told Xander. "Do you want to go and see Auntie Leah tomorrow?"

He happily agreed and sat in Joey's lap. Charlie watched the way Willow rested her head in Alex's lap; the way Alex played with her hair. They seemed so happy together. She was desperate for her nagging concerns to subside and leave her alone. She wanted to believe in Willow. She wanted her to be good for Alex. She wanted them to be happy together.

The day had passed pleasantly enough. Joey had kept her eye on Charlie. She knew Leah and Justin's words were playing on her wife's mind and she desperately wanted her to think before she acted.

"Mummy?" Xander said, pulling on her arm.

He presented her with the bat and ball he constantly wanted to play with these days. Joey hauled herself up, asking the others to join in. Willow jumped up immediately, as did Ruby. Joey knew Charlie would take advantage of the situation and speak to Alex. Sighing, Joey left her to it, focusing on giving her son a happy afternoon.

"You and Willow seem particularly close," Charlie commented when the others were out of earshot.

"Yeah, we had a talk," Alex said. "Thanks for meddling, by the way."

"Hey, I didn't mean to," Charlie said, holding her hands up. "We were just talking. I didn't say anything confidential. I swear."

"I know," Alex assured her. "And you were right. I did need to be honest with her. And it did help. Keeping it all a secret wasn't a good plan."

"What did she say?" Charlie asked curiously, watching them all play together.

"She was amazing, actually," Alex revealed. "She was perfect. She just told me how much she loved me, kept reassuring me… There was just… no shock, no horror, no judgement. She made me feel able to talk to her."

Charlie smiled.

"I'm glad," she said.

Alex studied her face.

"But?" she questioned.

Charlie immediately looked guilty.

"But what?"

"Come on, you have that face," Alex accused gently.

"What face?"

"The one where you're about to be a cop and not a friend."

Charlie sighed.

"What do you actually know about Willow?" she asked.

"I know everything I need to," Alex said a little defensively.

"Alex, I'm not trying to be difficult," Charlie promised. "I like Willow. Joey likes Willow. Ruby likes Willow. I think Xander's a little bit in love with Willow."

Alex laughed.

"But you opened up to her today and told her what happened and what you've been through," Charlie continued more seriously. "What did she tell you?"

"She told me there were things she needed to tell me," Alex replied honestly. "But today wasn't the time to tell me her story, was it? You don't dump on someone else's shit, if you forgive the phrasing."

Charlie laughed and shook her head.

"But she'll tell me her story in time," Alex said confidently.

"And what if you don't like it?" Charlie asked. "What if you sell your house and change jobs and give up the life you know to settle down here and it turns out to be for someone who's no good for you?"

"Willow is good for me," Alex insisted. "Even you think she's good for me."

"I do," Charlie agreed. "I love how she makes you smile. But I still think you should hear her whole story before you make such a huge decision."

"Charlie, I don't care where she's come from or what decisions she might have made in the past," Alex said. "I care about who she is now. That's the person I fell in love with. That's all the matters."

"So?" Joey asked.

It was bedtime. Xander was sound asleep and everyone had had a lovely day, rounding off their fun in the sun with dinner at home and a few glasses of wine.

"So…?"

"So, what did you say to Alex?" Joey wanted to know. "I know you pounced on her the second you got the chance!"

Charlie laughed guiltily.

"I just asked her if she was sure that upping and moving here was the right decision…"

"Charlie!" Joey scolded.

"Joey!" Charlie hissed, rushing over to make sure she hadn't woken their son.

He moaned and rolled over, exhausted from so much playtime and so much attention.

"You really started all that again?" Joey asked, unrepentant.

"I just think she needs to make sure she really knows this woman, Jo," Charlie said. "How awful would it be if she sold up and moved here, took a job she doesn't really want and then it turns out that Willow can't hold a job down, that she gambles all her money away, that she won't commit or something? What if Alex does all of this and Willow breaks her heart?"

"That's up to Alex, Charlie," Joey reminded her. "It's not for us to meddle."

"But if we can see a warning sign, we need to alert…"

Joey stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her wife.

"I get it," she said. "Warning sirens were screaming at us for years. We kept trying and Alex wouldn't listen. She wasn't ready for help. I know you want to protect her. I know you're scared of her ending up in some awful situation. I know that. I understand it. But you can't protect her from everything, Charlie. She has to make her own choices. All we can do is be there to pick up the pieces if it goes wrong."

"But…"

"Charlie, if you push too hard, you'll push her away," Joey said firmly. "Do you want that?"

Charlie sighed heavily and hugged Joey tightly. She kissed her shoulder. Joey thought she heard her mumble 'no'. Joey stroked her hair, running her hands down her naked back, having been halfway through getting changed.

"We get a good vibe from Willow, don't we?" Joey reminded her.

Charlie lifted her head and nodded.

"She said she had things to tell Alex," Charlie said. "But Alex had just told her everything about Amy so it didn't feel like the right time. Hopefully Willow will be honest with her and hopefully it won't be awful and hopefully they'll just be happy together and we won't have to worry anymore."

Joey cupped her face.

"I think we'll always worry a little bit," she admitted.

"Even you?" Charlie asked. "Please say it's you too and I'm not just crazy."

Joey laughed softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Of course it's me too," Joey said. "I remember that night. How awful it was. I mean, I remember all the other nights too but that night when…"

She shook her head. Charlie sat down beside her.

"It was one of the worst nights of my life and I've had a few bad ones, Charlie," Joey said. "We'd spent years worrying about her, begging her to leave, begging her to come and live with us and every time, she refused. Every time, she said she couldn't leave her. Every time, she said it was okay and she was coping. All those years, we had to pretend to be that bitch's friend just so we could stay friends with Alex. And then… that night."

Charlie put her arm around Joey and kissed her temple.

"So, yes, I do worry, Charlie," Joey said. "I worried when she told us she was leaving. I worried when she actually did it. I worried all the days she's been gone. I worried when she first mentioned Willow. I've worried all the days since."

She sighed heavily.

"But I like Willow," she confirmed. "I think she's genuine. And she absolutely adores Alex. You can see it in the way she looks at her, the way she talks to her, the way she talks about her."

Charlie managed a smile. She agreed.

"I'm not saying they'll last forever because who can say that – apart from us, obviously?"

"Obviously," Charlie grinned.

"But I like to think they'll give it a good shot," Joey said. "I don't think it matters that this is Willow's first relationship with a woman because I'm your first and we've been together for a hundred years!"

Charlie laughed loudly, then covered her mouth. She peered over at Xander who didn't stir.

"We're committed, we have our baby boy, our home, Ruby," Joey continued. "We have everything we need."

Charlie lifted Joey's hand and kissed it in agreement.

"And who doesn't have a bit of colour in their past, hey?" Joey asked. "As long as Willow can explain it, I don't see a problem. I think we just need to relax and be happy."

Charlie smiled. She brushed a strand of hair out of Joey's face and kissed her.

"I think we can manage that," she said.

Joey returned her kiss a little more passionately. It took a full ten minutes for them to regain control of themselves.

"We really need to negotiate for Alex to have the kid in her room one of these nights," Charlie complained.

Next time… Charlie and Joey take their son to see where they fell in love…